{"id":12243,"date":"2011-12-22T22:55:47","date_gmt":"2011-12-23T05:55:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mayanrocks.com\/?p=12243"},"modified":"2011-12-22T22:55:47","modified_gmt":"2011-12-23T05:55:47","slug":"oh-cruel-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/?p=12243","title":{"rendered":"Oh, cruel world."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.mayanrocks.com\/blog\/anthropologie-birthday-discount.jpg\" alt=\"anthropologie birthday discount\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Not only did I receive a reminder from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.anthropologie.com\/anthro\/index.jsp\">Anthropologie<\/a> that I&#8217;m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a &#8220;family&#8221; frame (for the husband and kids I don&#8217;t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.<\/p>\n<p>If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.<\/p>\n<table width=\"435\" border=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\" cellspacing=\"0\">\n<tr>\n<td width=\"15%\" valign=\"top\"><font color=\"#999999\">3:18 PM<\/font><\/td>\n<td><strong>Jesse:<\/strong> so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"15%\" valign=\"top\">&nbsp;<\/td>\n<td><strong>me:<\/strong> <span dir=\"ltr\">i hope you have your gat strapped<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"15%\" valign=\"top\"><font color=\"#999999\">3:21 PM<\/font><\/td>\n<td><strong>Jesse:<\/strong> if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"15%\" valign=\"top\">&nbsp;<\/td>\n<td><strong>me: <\/strong>can i have your white elephant gift if you don&#8217;t come back?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td width=\"15%\" valign=\"top\"><font color=\"#999999\">3:22 PM<\/font><\/td>\n<td><strong>Jesse:<\/strong> of course<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I&#8217;m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a &#8220;family&#8221; frame (for the husband and kids I don&#8217;t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today. If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[178,181,211,218,256],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-birthdays","category-chat","category-holidays","category-life","category-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}