So I was driving to work yesterday feeling particularly emo, because I was listening to my Top 25 Most Played list<\/strike> randomly selected songs on my iPod that were all coincidentally depressing. But while I was contemplating driving my car into oncoming traffic, I saw a semi drive by with no trailer. I love those things…<\/p>\n
What? Semi’s driving around without trailers don’t make your day? You’re weird.<\/p>\n
I was at this bar last weekend and some guy told my friend that he wanted to “lick her all night long” (and he was so ridiculously drunk that he fell out of his chair minutes later). Seriously, who says that shit? An even bigger question is how come he didn’t offer to lick ME all night long? Not that I would’ve let him (and his tongue) come within a ten-mile radius of my body. Disgusto. I don’t get this whole dating thing. I’ve been single for a year TODAY. I was with my ex for seven years, three of which I was still a teenager. All of my girlfriends are attached except for one (and she belongs on The L Word). I’m not remotely attracted to any one… I’m convinced my husband is not in San Diego. My therapist says it’s important for me to be single, because I haven’t been single since I was sixteen, and I should take this time to focus on myself before jumping into another relationship… and by “therapist” I mean my friend… who is also single… who I secretly think wants me to remain single with her. Boo whore.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So I was driving to work yesterday feeling particularly emo, because I was listening to my Top 25 Most Played list randomly selected songs on my iPod that were all coincidentally depressing. But while I was contemplating driving my car into oncoming traffic, I saw a semi drive by with no trailer. I love those […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}