{"id":16402,"date":"2012-12-21T02:30:49","date_gmt":"2012-12-21T09:30:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mayanrocks.com\/?p=16402"},"modified":"2012-12-21T02:30:49","modified_gmt":"2012-12-21T09:30:49","slug":"running-with-scissors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/?p=16402","title":{"rendered":"Running with Scissors."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"running
\n<\/a>
\nI forgot my cell phone in my car last night, and I didn’t realize it till almost midnight.<\/p>\n

Can we just take a second to talk about my parking situation??? Okay so #1 I don’t have a designated parking spot. My garage is only big enough for my landlord’s BMW, his Mini Cooper and his diamond shoes. #2 I live on a one way street. If I can’t find parking (which is always), I have to go around the block and onto one of the busiest streets in Redondo before getting back on my street. Don’t even get me started on the street sweeping that happens twice a week. Sometimes, some asshole parks in the middle of two driveways and doesn’t leave enough room to park in front or behind them. And sometimes that asshole is me. But I digress.<\/p>\n

It was already late, and I had to park two blocks away last night, so I considered staying off the grid till morning. Plus I had already taken my bra off, so I was in for the night. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up for work without all the alarms I have set on my phone, so I grabbed my sharpest pair of fabric scissors (in case some beach bum tried to get crazy) and sprinted to my car. Okay so maybe it was more of a light jog. Get off me. Not only was I running with (fabric) scissors, but I was also running with no bra on, and that’s a dangerous situation in itself, amirite?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I forgot my cell phone in my car last night, and I didn’t realize it till almost midnight. Can we just take a second to talk about my parking situation??? Okay so #1 I don’t have a designated parking spot. My garage is only big enough for my landlord’s BMW, his Mini Cooper and his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[217,218,223],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-la","category-life","category-mayanisms"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16402\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}