{"id":4033,"date":"2010-05-16T16:57:43","date_gmt":"2010-05-16T23:57:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mayanrocks.com\/?p=4033"},"modified":"2025-04-19T23:51:06","modified_gmt":"2025-04-20T06:51:06","slug":"my-worst-nightmare-realized","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/?p=4033","title":{"rendered":"My Worst Nightmare."},"content":{"rendered":"

I found myself locked out of my house this afternoon. Bra-less.<\/p>\n

It was my worst nightmare realized.<\/p>\n

I went into the garage to get my bra in my car (don’t ask me why I thought it was in there), and I realized that I had locked the garage door behind me by habit. And then I realized that my bra wasn’t in my car. And then I realized that I was fucked.<\/p>\n

I found the “I \u2665 Haters” shirt Shi had given me in my trunk, so I threw that on. I knew that my bedroom window was open, but my room is on the second floor. I went into the backyard and scaled the fence like a ninja. I stood there for a few minutes staring at the gap between the roof I needed to jump on and the top of the fence where I stood. I just kept imagining myself lying on the ground with my legs broken… my “I \u2665 Haters” shirt over my head, exposing me in all my bra-less glory while I waited for someone to help me. And so I decided to explore other options.<\/p>\n

I went around the back and checked to see if I left the sliding door open after I let Rocky out. But of course, today was the one day I remembered to lock it. I didn’t think that the front window would be unlocked, since I never open it, but I checked it anyway, and it was! I took the screen door off, slid the window open and climbed inside. During all that commotion, Rocky just lay there on the couch staring at the wall. Useless!<\/p>\n

Here’s what I’ve learned from this experience:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. It’s a little too easy to break into my house.<\/li>\n
  2. Don’t take your bra off in your car.<\/li>\n
  3. Get a dog that will at least try to look alive when someone is potentially breaking into your house.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I found myself locked out of my house this afternoon. Bra-less. It was my worst nightmare realized. I went into the garage to get my bra in my car (don’t ask me why I thought it was in there), and I realized that I had locked the garage door behind me by habit. And then […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[220,223,296],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists","category-mayanisms","category-rocky"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4033","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4033"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4033\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":271337,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4033\/revisions\/271337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}