{"id":5373,"date":"2010-06-25T13:20:56","date_gmt":"2010-06-25T20:20:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mayanrocks.com\/?p=5373"},"modified":"2010-06-25T13:20:56","modified_gmt":"2010-06-25T20:20:56","slug":"booyah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/?p=5373","title":{"rendered":"Booyah."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s officially summer, and for the 28th year in a row, I&#8217;m not ready for all this sunlight. Thankfully, I&#8217;ve moved out of my non air-conditioned apartment that I nearly melted in last year, so I won&#8217;t have any sudden urges to punch a baby in this heat. Being healthy isn&#8217;t enough motivation to lose weight for me. I entered a biggest loser competition at work last year, lost 20 pounds and won by less than 1% (suck it, Calvin!). And I did it all for just bragging rights and a celebratory croissant. I used to play <a href=\"http:\/\/apps.facebook.com\/bejeweledblitz\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bejeweled Blitz<\/a> religiously on Facebook just because whenever I&#8217;d beat someone&#8217;s score, it sent them a notification saying, &#8220;Booyah! Mayan fucking beat you, bitch.&#8221; Okay maybe it didn&#8217;t say fucking. Or bitch. Or booyah&#8230; but it still notified them, okay? Get off me. I would really like to get fit, so I need someone to compete with. And not someone like Jay who works out once a week while I&#8217;m pulling two-a-days&#8230; It can&#8217;t be that easy. But I want to start after I go to the fair this Sunday. And next Friday. And possibly next Saturday&#8230; Let&#8217;s just be safe and start this thing when the fair ends after the 4th of July.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s officially summer, and for the 28th year in a row, I&#8217;m not ready for all this sunlight. Thankfully, I&#8217;ve moved out of my non air-conditioned apartment that I nearly melted in last year, so I won&#8217;t have any sudden urges to punch a baby in this heat. Being healthy isn&#8217;t enough motivation to lose [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[190,192,254],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-diet","category-exercise","category-winning"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5373"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5373\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mayanrocks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}