If your mom isn’t swinging an ornament between her legs for money, is it even Christmas???
Escaping LA for the holidays be like…
…or my work sending out a departmental email letting us know that we’ll only be getting the day after christmas off instead of the entire week (like we have for the previous 7 years).
Excuse me while I open this box of fruit-by-the-foot I bought for my nephew and eat my feelings.
Who needs a christmas tree when you can just throw some lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?
3 oz merlot
¾ oz fireball whisky
1 oz orange juice
1 oz pomegranate syrup
6 pineapple tidbits
1 lime (squeeze and drop)
1 orange slice
1 cinnamon stick (for garnish)
BBQ with a side of UV this past holiday weekend.
I escaped the LA heat for Pammie’s house where she keeps the thermostat at a cool 68°. Jessie came over and was like, “68?! I only do that in a hotel!”
Uhh, is this not a hotel??? My sister’s husband told me checkout is at noon 😆
My sister’s husband is convinced that I secretly have a poster of Joey Chestnut in my apartment, and I can’t confirm or deny that.
Red, white and blue (cheese) – I was that asshole at three different grocery stores looking for that slice of heaven that is humboldt fog in the artisanal cheese aisle to complete my board.
Views and ‘cue – two of my favorite things. This private rooftop is a dream.
Not pictured: me almost lighting my hair on fire after some lunatic let me be in charge of the short ribs
Listen, sometimes you have to choose between buying a box of costco king crab legs or paying your rent. Luckily, Pammie bought these babies and afforded me another month in my studio. Ha.
Is it even a party if you don’t stock your wine fridge with white claw???
Alicia got me this icee machine for my birthday a few years ago, and I don’t know why I waited so long to bust it out (besides diabetes and the lack of counter space). I’m pretty sure Shi and I had more icees than the kids did!
Christine came through with the Crumbl cookies!
Added bonus: The rooftop has a clear view of the fireworks from the olympic training center.
I hope everyone’s 4th was as lit as the illegal fireworks we bought on the side of the road!
Thanks to Pammie for hosting the best party ever at her new digs! Same time next year???
I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!
Christmas is over, ya filthy animals.
It’s a good thing I didn’t have to leave our hotel room to see these fireworks, because I barely made it to midnight Hawaii time!
Happy new year from this old broad (@ Prince Waikiki)
Christmas (@ Crypto.com)
There is a hell and it’s DTLA during a lakers game the week of christmas.
This Halloween, I deep cleaned my apartment and installed a new area rug. What has become of my life?
What, your neighbor’s halloween decor doesn’t include conjoined unicorns???
11/20: You guys, they’ve updated it for Thanksgiving.
Oh, look… another glorious morning… makes me sick!
When spooky season coincides with conference season 🎃🤓
Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)
Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!
Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.
The only shells we cracked this Easter!
BRB eating my feelings.
Sweets for my sweets ❤️
That’s a wrap on 2020! Pammie upgraded me to the new Cricut Maker, so 90% of the gifts I gave were personalized (the other 10% was whatever I could amazon prime at the eleventh hour).
This is the first holiday I’ve spent without my crazy family, and I miss all their ugly faces. Hope everyone had a safe and merry christmas!
Oh, my filipino heart. Are you trying to kill me, Disney??? 😭
Double, double, seafood boil and trouble 🖤
Views and ‘cue on this 4th of July!
I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).
Is it even Easter if I don’t use the bunny filter when we facetime today???
That’s a wrap on 2019!
Let’s get blitzen, y’all…
“You smell like
beef and cheese alcohol.”
Cuevas family gone wild!
This is what happens when you hide a $20 bill inside a roll of costco saran wrap and tell everyone there’s $100 in there LOL!
One hour and two broken nails later…
It wouldn’t be the holidays if my grandma didn’t lose $50 playing bingo and and curse like a sailor while doing so! Ha.
…or me when my bff’s family was done going around the table saying what they were all thankful for, and her 6-year-old daughter says, “Now let’s say what we hate about each other.”
I find this kid equally amusing and terrifying.
If anyone needs me, I’ll just be out here waiting for this turkey to deep fry and my druncle to stop asking me why I’m not married yet.
One month till Christmas!
Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.
Even Rocky is bummed I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Someone please buy a house in this neighborhood so I can slang keurig cocoa in your driveway during the holidays (@ Christmas Card Lane)
The gold foil is extra, but so am I ✨
If your family doesn’t gamble at parties, are you even Asian?
I won $30 off these suckas during an intense game of LCR. I guess I’ll have to put that money towards a new Calphalon baking sheet!
Stage 5 clinger alert 🚨🚨🚨
This photo of Ray in the socks I gave him pretty much sums up the rest of my Christmas vacation (sorry for revealing your secret shame!)
I’ll have one… one of everything! (@ BJ’s Brewhouse)
Alicia and I drank our way through their holiday cocktail list. The blood orange pom fireball sangria tastes like Christmas in your mouth! It’s def going on the menu for any and all future holiday spreads.
I know so many people who are going through tough times right now (the death of a parent, the loss of their family home, and trouble conceiving, to name a few)… Besides LA traffic, my only other gripe is that I’ve been working long hours, and my postmates driver (that my work pays for) forgot to include utensils with my order last night, so I had to eat my calamari in my office with my bare hands like an animal. I feel like an asshole even mentioning it. All things considered, I have so much to be thankful for.
There is a hell and it’s the 405 during the holidays (and pretty much any other time of year).
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch (@ Redondo Beach)
Luckily, I already used the restroom before getting into the elevator at work this morning (@ SKX Advertising)
The 4th of July fell on bottomless beer and lobster night this year (@ Viejas)
What a time to be alive.
Actual footage of me waking up for work today after being on vacation for two weeks. Yikes!
My sister went to Christmas mass while I stayed home to
avoid burning for my sins wrap presents at the eleventh hour! Ha.
Christmas gift from my boss… I think she’s onto me.
I’ll be here all winter ✌🏻 (@ Pershing Square Holiday Ice Skating Rink)
Unsolicited fact about me: I can ice skate circles around you ⛸ (@ LA Live Holiday Ice)
#FBF to these three amigos in their Baja Ponchos 🇲🇽
I baked my mom a pie, but her love for strawberry rhubarb doesn’t run as deep as mine. Good thing we got her sold-out Adele tickets as a back-up!
The highlight of my weekend was seeing my mom jump up and down and scream like a fangirl when she opened her gift. A very close second would have to be getting carded at the casino. Apparently, I look like I’m under 18 (#stillgotit). I was with my parents and Pammie who was not carded. And highly offended.
Recipe from Smitten Kitchen.
Gingerbread ale and memory jars (@ Common Theory Public House)
I spent my holiday vacation back home in San Diego making memories with family and old friends.
Just after Christmas, my cousin and her family were involved in a devastating house fire that took the life of her daughter and everything they owned. It has been a difficult year for my family in general, and this tragedy solidified 2015 as the worst year ever! Hopefully 2016 is kinder to us all. A friend of the family set up a GoFundMe account if you would like to make a donation to help.
My dear friend, Jay, also lost his mom over the holidays, and I met up with him and friends I haven’t seen in forever at her memorial. I love seeing these guys, because no matter how much time has passed, we can all still pick up right where we left off. The highlight of my day was when Pammie and I walked into the chapel and Jay’s brother greeted us with arms wide open and a simple, “Bitches.” Classic Rome. Jay trying to give me dating advice was a very close second. The lowlight of my day had to be when my ex-boyfriend brought his fiancé and his parents to the memorial, and all I brought was my extra holiday weight. LOL. Just kidding. (I brought my sister, too.)
My resolution this year is to be better about staying in touch with family and friends. I have a tendency to close myself off, and I’m trying to work on that. You really never know when you’re going to lose your loved ones…
When you give your friend LA’s finest taco sweater, and she gives you Mexico’s best-selling taco book…
CRANBERRY BLISS COOKIES
Adapted from Gimme Some Oven
FOR THE COOKIES:
3 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup dried cranberries
FOR THE FROSTING:
1 (8 oz.) bar cream cheese, room temperature
1/2 cup white chocolate chips, melted in the microwave or double-boiler
2 tsp. orange extract
3 cups powdered sugar
FOR THE TOPPING:
1 cup dried cranberries, roughly chopped
1/4 cup white chocolate chips, melted in the microwave or double-boiler
TO MAKE THE COOKIES:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda and salt until well-blended. Set aside.
Using an an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add vanilla and the eggs one at a time, beating in between to incorporate. Then reduce the speed to low, and slowly add in the dry ingredients. Increase the speed to medium, and continue beating until well-combined. Fold in the white chocolate chips and cranberries, and mix until just-combined. (Do not overmix.)
Cover and refrigerate dough for at least 1 hour. Then place dough by rounded tablespoon-fulls onto a baking sheet that has been prepared with parchment paper, at least 2.5-inches apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes, or until the cookies are lightly golden around the edges. Remove pan, and transfer the cookies to a cooling rack until cool. Repeat with remaining dough until all cookies are baked. Wait until cookies reach room temperature before adding frosting and toppings.
TO MAKE THE FROSTING:
Using an electric mixer on medium speed, beat together the cream cheese and melted white chocolate until combined. (**Be sure that your cream cheese REALLY is at room temperature before adding the white chocolate. Otherwise the chocolate could seize up.) Add in the orange extract and mix until combined. Then reduce speed to low and add the powdered sugar. Mix until incorporated. Then use a rubber spatula to scrape down the sides of the bowl, and beat once more for 1 minute on medium speed until the frosting is smooth. You can add more powdered sugar for a thicker frosting.
Spread the frosting on the cooled cookies. Then immediately sprinkle the frosted cookies with the chopped dried cranberries. And use a fork to drizzle on the frosting, swishing it back and forth over the cookies.
For Friendsgiving this year, I made an oxtail ragu that would bring you to your knees. It took me five hours to cook, and I didn’t finish until three in the morning! It was worth it, but I’ll probably never make it again (just like the chocolate babka I made in 2012). I hope you enjoyed my tender meat, because that’s the last time you’re ever gonna eat it! Ha.
Add a box of girl scout cookies and you’ve got my plans for this weekend.
Anthony had me create my own profile on his Netflix account so that my chick flick recommendations wouldn’t get mixed in with his chick flick recommendations, obvi.
If only Amazon Prime had this feature so I could stop getting his beard oil recommendations for a healthier, kissable beard.