Homemade Zuppa Toscana on this cold ass day. The last time I had Olive Garden was my last lunch with Nori before she took me to the hospital 😅 Our waiter held the parm grater over my dish and asked if I wanted a fifth cheese on my four cheese ziti and I’m still laughing about it 😂
People think I’m a food snob and too good for chains, but I love me some Olive Garden!
I usually have Food Network on in the background while I’m working, and I’ve never heard so many people mispronounce espresso (ex-pres-so), mascarpone (mars-car-pown), chipotle (chee-poll-tay) and jalapeño (ha-la-pee-no). I don’t expect a Green Bay fan white dude in the midwest to be able to roll their R’s and say birria, but how about you learn how to pronounce it first if you’re gonna make it on national television? I was plugging away at my catalog, and I was like, “If this guy says ‘beer-ya’ one more time…” 🤪
My mom’s deep fryer decided to stop working after we already dry rubbed four cornish game hens, so my uncle just deep fried them on the stove in a big ass pot of peanut oil. They turned out great! They were so small, they looked like baby birds, but I was assured these weren’t babies LOL. One time, I was watching an episode of Chopped, and one of the secret basket ingredients was a suckling goat and I burst into tears and changed the channel when I saw it. As a rule, I don’t eat any baby animals. Only fully grown animals that have had a good life 😆
Update 11/24/2023: Pammie told me that cornish game hens are slaughtered when they reach 4 WEEKS of age, so I won’t be eating them anymore 😅
King crab legs were on sale for $199 for 10 pounds at Costco! I’ve seen it upwards of $400, so this was a steal. Plus, we were near the Costco Business Center, so we went to that one and there were no lines on a Saturday!
Pumpkin pie hack: I bought a big ass pumpkin pie from Costco, used a biscuit cutter to cut out individual servings, and topped them with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. Adorable!
The Costco Business Center doesn’t have a bakery (or food court), so we went to the Grossmont Costco and it was CRAZY. There is a hell, and it’s the Costco in La Mesa the weekend before Thanksgiving.
My banana bread fixes things in the universe.
If your family doesn’t gamble at holiday parties, are you even Asian???
My mom loves the lettuce wraps at P.F. Chang’s and wants me to make them for Thanksgiving LOL. We hardly ever have traditional Thanksgiving food. I think we’re deep frying some cornish game hens this year because no one ever eats the turkey. I also accidentally bought 5 bags of turkey bone broth instead of chicken when I was doing a cleanse once, and the smell of turkey elicits my gag reflex now.
Since I’ve never made the lettuce wraps before, I found this copycat recipe and did a trial run, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of all my relatives 😅 I omitted the ginger (because I hate ginger) and the sriracha (because not all of my relatives have my spice tolerance).They also serve them with iceberg at the restaurant, but I got butter lettuce instead because it was less watery and messy.
Remember that episode of Punky Brewster where the girls all wanted Butter Lettuce Babies? I think Cabbage Patch Kids was copyrighted LOL. If you don’t know who Punky Brewster is, then you are too young and I am too old. Anyway, the lettuce wraps turned out great and I’ll def be making them for Thanksgiving!
My work bestie is taking PTO, so I sent her a care package with her favorite popcorn from Chicago, these cookies from NYC that she showed me on instagram, and some homemade furikake chex mix to snack on, plus a USB full of illegally downloaded movies so she can fully enjoy her well-deserved staycation.
I instacarted 1 pack of sausage and the guy accidentally bought me 5 packs! I think he got confused because I also ordered 5 Lean Cuisines LOL. This is like the time I ordered 2 boxes of protein bars and Amazon accidentally delivered 2 cases (12 boxes!). I’m still trying to get through those protein bars 8 months later, but I’ll probably go through this free sausage pretty quickly 😆
All Chel wanted for her birthday was to paint some pumpkins, sip some cocktails and slurp some ramen (and a sexy chef to make us dinner, but I couldn’t provide that).
I refilled the punch-a-bunch for Darien and the twins who also coincidentally love Halloween, BBQ and being naked.
I accidentally dropped my still-wet pumpkin towards the end of the night, so not only did I ruin Chel’s warm palette vibe, I also ruined her patio table and area rug underneath it with neon green paint! She says she was getting rid of the table and rug anyway 😅
I made some pumpkin spice snack mix for Chel’s birthday party this weekend, and my sister’s husband says it tastes better than my furikake chex mix! He’ll be selling it at the Otay Ranch Farmers’ Market on Tuesdays 😂
What better day to carve pumpkins than Friday the 13th? 🎃
I’m the ghost with the most, babe 🖤
What, you don’t like Beetlejuice??? It’s OK, the flame will keep me warm at night. JK there’s a fake candle in there. You almost burn down your apartment once (OK, twice) and people don’t let you forget it. Alicia gave me a Dole Whip Candle from Disneyland and I was like, “I’m not allowed to have an open flame.” 😅
Thanks to Jessie for helping me carve my pumpkin. AKA she carved most of it while I ate s’mores and watched 😂 It was her first time carving a pumpkin, and she loved it! She was like, “Did I just learn a new trade???”
Jessie fell to the ground laughing after Christine asked if we were carving Albert Einstein 🤣 It was like when we were watching America Says and the board was “Famous Mustaches” and one of the answers was Groucho Marx and Pammie was like, “Who the hell is Groucho Marx? Richard Marx‘s brother???” LMAO she was serious! I was eating and spit my food everywhere!
I used to go to the Popeye’s near my apartment, and I didn’t think I went there too frequently (maybe once or twice a month), but I’d always order the same thing—a popcorn shrimp combo. One day, I was standing in line minding my own business, and the dude who always helps me sees me standing there and shouts over the people ahead of me, “Popcorn shrimp combo???” Embarrassing! 😳 Like, first of all, lower your voice, and second of all, yes, of course I’d like a popcorn shrimp combo 🤣
I was getting my hair cut in Manhattan Beach, and the new receptionist and I were trying to figure out where we knew each other from, and she was like, “I used to work at Popeye’s! Is that where I’ve seen you???” I guess I went there more frequently than I thought 😅
Another time, I ordered Thai from a nearby restaurant and went to pick it up at the wrong place. They were like, “Are you sure you ordered from here???” and I checked my online order again, and I was, in fact, at the wrong restaurant. I haven’t been back there since. I already can’t go to this other Thai restaurant near my apartment, because the last time I ate there, they tried to kill me 😅 My pad thai was extra spicy (I asked for 5/10 heat and it was more like a gazillion/10). I had to keep asking for more water during my meal and the waiters seemed to enjoy my pain.
This is why I pay extra to doordash and do contactless delivery… partly so I can suffer in the comfort of my own home, but mostly because I don’t have to put a bra on to get my food 😅
Good thing there’s hella Starbucks nearby because now I have to try this apple croissant.
Update 10/7/2023: My sister made the mistake of asking me what I wanted for lunch, and I was like, “TACO BELL!” When we went through the drive-thru, the guy told us the shredded chicken rolled tacos were limited edition only and they no longer have them *cries in Spanish*
I was gifted an air fryer by someone who replaced theirs with one of those 3-in-1 kitchen appliances that’s a microwave, air fryer and convection oven in one. I air fried these chicken wings for lunch and they were sooo good and crispy. Who needs Buffalo Wild Wings??? Or as Jay calls them, BBW 🤣
Shi and I used to hang out all the time at my old apartment in SD and eat so bad. She’s seen me eat a whole pizza by myself (in my defense, it was thin crust! LOL), and I’ve seen her eat an entire pound cake in one sitting (multiple times!). We were also in our 20s, and our metabolism was much faster back then 😅 We used to make these sinful cheesecake-stuffed strawberries, and I kept seeing these Wonder Monday ads on all my socials for low-carb, low-sugar cheesecakes, so I ordered some, whipped up a few in my stand mixer, piped them into fresh strawberries and dipped them in heart-healthy dark chocolate! They tasted like heaven.
We came for the pizza, but stayed for the gender reveal!
It has been a hard IVF journey for my dear friend after battling breast cancer, and Jessie surprised all of us by telling us that the surrogacy’s pregnancy took and baby boy Cuevas is coming March 2024!
Before the incident, my sister’s husband said I used to eat like I was high all the time. Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Takis, Cup-O-Noodles… Pretty much anything you can doordash after 10pm or buy at the gas station LOL. I used to eat dinner really late and fast food is the only option available at that time. Plus I just genuinely liked processed food and had access to free soda and vending machines at work. I haven’t gone into the office in over three years, I don’t drink soda anymore, and I eat dinner at 6pm now 👵🏼
I don’t even know who I am anymore eating plant-based food, having dinner before the sun goes down, and saying shit like, “jazz it up” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My friend asked if I was going vegan with all this plant-based bullshit, but I’m just trying to find healthier alternatives and cut back on the salt. I could never give up BBQ. Gotta risk it for the brisket!
I love Flamin’ Hot anything. I used to eat a bag of hot fries from the gas station every time I’d drive from LA to SD. I tried these Flaming Hot Keto Puffs and they were a good alternative! Def reminded me of a time in my life I now refer to as BS (before stroke) 😅 I miss eating whatever I want!
I usually have half a Dave’s Killer Bread Cinnamon Raisin Remix Bagel in the morning with my sugar-free cold brew and unsweetened almond milk (boring!). That’s how my sister’s husband knows I’m awake—he can smell my bagel toasting (sometimes at 8:30, sometimes at 9:30… but if my boss is reading this, always before my shift starts at 9am).
Two of my favorite things combined: banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery (I’ve had it in LA, but they’re famous in NYC) and Ess-a-Bagel (we tried it on our last trip to NYC and loved it). When I saw that two iconic NYC eateries had a collabo, I knew I had to get it, and ordering from Goldbelly was cheaper than flying to New York 😅
I’ve never eaten a plain bagel before (they’re just dyed yellow), but anything slathered with banana pudding schmear and nilla wafers will taste good! It was perfect 👌🏼 (I ate plant-based spam yesterday. I think I can afford some carbs and sugar.)
If you think it’s too sweet and dessert-y to be a bagel, you’re wrong and IDK how we’re friends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I haven’t had spamsilog (spam with rice and eggs for you non-Filipinos) since before the incident. It’s too processed, has too much fat, too much sodium and too many calories. I saw this video of this plant-based spam, so I had to try it. I ate it with rice (I’m eating plant-based spam, you want me to give up carbs, too?) an egg (to increase my good cholestorol levels) and a side of Datu Puti vinegar (because I’m Filipino as fuck).
I don’t usually like vegan food that’s pretending to be meat (I’d rather just eat vegetables), but I do have the occasional Impossible burger when my friend is observing Lent. But this was a great alternative for people who love spam!
I followed this recipe, except I omitted the kale (I don’t like raw kale) and sesame seeds (who the fuck has sesame seeds in their pantry??? It made me think of this video even though I totally have molasses LOL), added some crumbled turkey bacon, croutons, red onion, toasted quinoa and grape tomatoes, and used store-bought blue cheese dressing because it’s what I had on hand (and ain’t nobody got time to make their own dressing!). Okay so I didn’t really follow her recipe, just prepare any salad like you normally would and wrap it in a tortilla. I used to order a salad wrap at the cafe at work when I’d go in, and this reminded me so much of it. Sooo good!
I haven’t seen Alicia since before the incident, but she sent me flowers in the hospital and checks in regularly 💕
She finally used the Disney gift card I gave her for her 40th birthday and stayed at the Grand Californian! She brought me back a Dole Whip Candle. Smells so good. Love me some dole whip. And I love that all the gifts she brings me are food-related LOL I have a Mickey Mouse soft pretzel magnet from her on my fridge in LA from that one time I was supposed to meet her at California Adventure, but got into an accident on the way there and totaled my car 😅 I kept all my important documents stuck to the fridge under that magnet, even my car registration renewal that I forgot about and got pulled over in DTLA the first day it expired 😅
Jessie was like, “They drove down from Murrietta, and you guys just went to Lolita’s?” (I go to Lolita’s maybe once a week LOL). She wanted Hans & Harry’s afterward, so that’s why we picked Lolita’s in Bonita. You can’t go to SD without getting good Mexican food and having a fruit strudel from Hans & Harry’s!
I haven’t had pasta since the day before the incident when Nori and I had lunch at Olive Garden! We both haven’t eaten there since. It’s like how we avoid eating at Ocean Diner, because every time we would go there for lunch, someone would get fired at work LOL.
Since I had some bloodwork done this morning, I thought today would be a good day to make that pasta again. I had to instacart some vodka because they don’t drink around here, and you can’t make vodka sauce without any vodka. I only needed two tablespoons, so now I have a handle of vodka to celebrate with when I get my bloodwork results back.
I forgot to get tomato paste, so I had to instacart a second order. Since my sister’s elevator is still broken, I took the stairs all the way down to the bottom when I got the delivery notification and was like where the fuck is my order??? I went back upstairs and chatted with the idiot driver who delivered it to the wrong house and put it in their garage! Then, while I was on my laptop chatting with instacart’s customer service to get a refund, I forgot about my garlic bread in the oven and burned it. I was so frazzled. I use instacart so I don’t have to inconvenience anyone, and my sister ended up having to drive me to the grocery store for tomato paste and more garlic bread. Maybe I’ll drink that vodka now LOL I’m all riled up!
I finally made dinner and Pammie and her husband loved it. It was just as good as I remember. I guess it was worth all that trouble 😅
Update 9/1: I got my bloodwork results back, and my A1C went up 1/10 of a point and my white blood cell count is elevated which my doctor said she’ll talk to me about during our appointment next week. I think I’ll drink that vodka now 😓
I’ve had Food Network on in the background as I’ve been working, and I always thought “star anise” was pronounced “star a-nees,” but I’ve heard both Chef Zakarian and Chef Symon call it “star a-nis” today, and I was like, “Why are they saying it like ‘anus’?” LOL. But I googled it and it is pronounced like anus 🤣
We used to sell these sabatier steak knives when I worked at Red Envelope, and I called them “saba-teer” for months until a customer pronounced it “suh-ba-tee-ay,” and I was like, “These knives are french?! How come no one told me???”
Nori and I used to frequent Mendocino Farms for lunch, but parking was always a nightmare at The Point, and we haven’t gone back since there was a romaine shortage and they substituted shredded lettuce in our Modern Caesar 2.0 salads. We’re petty like that 😂
What I miss most about Mendo is the Superfood Krunchies they top all their salads with. I recently found these Cereausly Crispies on Amazon (ain’t nobody got time to toast their own quinoa!), so I had to get some and make myself a salad.
I accidentally forgot to update my address on instacart, and all my salad accoutrements got delivered to my parents’ house. They’re on a European cruise right now, so my sister had to drive my ass to their house to pick up my perishables. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy 😅
We went to Texas for a wedding once and decided to try What-A-Burger. We were all almost done with our food, and Shi hadn’t gotten hers yet and all she ordered was cheese fries! When they finally brought out her order, it was a box of fries with a slice of cheese still in the wrapper on the side 🤦🏻♀️
My boyfriend at the time got a speeding ticket driving back to SD (we were in our twenties and too poor to fly), Chel and her then-boyfriend got into a fight while we were there, and the couple who got married are now divorced. The whole trip was terrible LOL.
I also have to agree with crzylop77. You get better burgers from AM/PM 🤣 I’d choose In-N-Out over What-A-Burger every time, but as far as burger chains go, I like Shake Shack the best.
I was working on my bed (also where I ate my breakfast and lunch today LOL) and I thought I kicked my pill box from my side table, but I was like, “Why do my legs feel wet?” and I turned around and straight up gasped. I kicked my protein shake (which I pour over ice and drink out of a Starbucks cup with a straw so it feels like I’m having an iced coffee from there) and it spilled all over my white sheets and seeped into the mattress.
Luckily, I already had this stain remover from the last time I spilled at Pammie’s house, and it lifted it right out 😅 IDK what to tell you, I love tummy time and I’m a clumsy ass bitch ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I once went to Dominique Ansel Bakery in NYC, walked right in and some guy was like, “Ma’am, there’s a line” and I looked and there was a whole ass line outside the bakery 🤣 I guess I wasn’t the only one who wanted a cronut 20 years ago! When I saw there was a Dominique Ansel inside Caesars Palace, I had to brave the 105° weather and go.
Their July cronut is blueberry jam with graham cracker ganache and it was sooo good! The best cronut I’ve had before this was at Kettle Glazed in Hollywood, but this one knocked it out of the park. I mean, Dominique Ansel invented the cronut…
me: Are the fries at The Counter skinny or big? Dennis: They’re skinny like you. me: Skinny fries are my favorite! Okay I’m not gonna go to dinner with you guys when we get to Vegas. It’ll be after 9pm and I’ll be sleeping LOL. I’m just gonna grab something at the airport. Dennis: I lied before. The Counter’s fries are big. Now you have to eat dinner with us! me: Joke’s on you. I like ALL fries!
I’ve always wanted to make this Strawberry Pretzel Salad (“a favorite dessert at many white trash gatherings” according to this website). It’s now a favorite dessert at Asian gatherings, and I’ll def be making it again!
My mom asked me to make her banana nut bread with her ripe bananas, and since my sister’s husband has been asking me to make banana bread for months, I made him a loaf, too.
I used to make mini loaves and bring them to work. Here’s some actual footage of the time I caught my old coworker, Justin, in his office going to town on this mini loaf that was supposed to be for him and his wife LOL:
2 tbsp. unsalted butter, slightly softened and cut into pieces
¼ cup chopped walnuts
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease a 9-inch loaf pan. Cut a piece of parchment paper and put it on the bottom of the pan (for easy removal).
In a large bowl, cream the butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
Add in the eggs and mix well.
Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add into the butter mixture and combine together.
Add the sour cream, bananas, and vanilla and stir well to incorporate, but don’t overmix.
Stir in chopped walnuts.
Pour into prepared pan.
Add the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl and mix until combined. Cut in the butter using your fingers or a pastry blender, until it resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in chopped walnuts. Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the batter.
Bake for 50-60 minutes.
Cool for 10 minutes and then turn the loaf out onto a rack. Remove the parchment paper and wrap the loaf in saran wrap to keep it moist once it’s room temperature.