Not to be dramatic or anything, but I would die for this baby hippo.

(via @francisandmaggie)

My favorite instagram cat died and I am unwell 😿

Chel sent me this post earlier this morning and then I sent her the same post when I saw it closer to the afternoon. I never got a notification that she sent me the same post because I have my ‘do not disturb’ on at such an unholy hour 😅

In my day (LOL), ‘rawdogging’ meant something completely different and way nastier 😅 Fucking Gen Z and their jargon. I don’t even ‘rawdog’ on a 45-minute flight to Vegas. In fact, we take bets on whether or not we’ll even get refreshments on such a short flight. Sometimes the flight attendants claim ‘turbulence’ and say they need to remain seated for the duration of our flight and can’t do beverage service. I always get an iced coffee and bottled water after TSA, no matter how short the flight is, because this bitch is always thirsty 😅

After Chel sent me this photo of this stray cat she took in, I sent her a gabillion IG reels of cute cats. She was like, ‘Ok whyyy do you have so many cat videos at your disposal? 🤣’ I follow a lot of animals on instagram, and bookmark a lot of cat videos, and now I can finally share them with someone! Yes, I’ve already invited her to do kitten yoga.

My favorite cat on instagram is named Francis. He’s 13, but he still looks like a kitten because he has dwarfism 🥹 You’re welcome 😽

0/0. Do not recommend 😅

Partly here for foodwithmichel’s comments, mostly here for… other reasons.

According to one of my married friends (I won’t say which one in case she or her husband ever read this), you only have to go down on your man on holidays. Like, do you observe all holidays? Or only the federal ones when the banks are closed??? I just want to manage expectations if I ever get married 😅

The math ain’t mathing 🤣

I’m on instagram, partly because I follow a bunch of dogs, but mostly because of this guy 😏 His caption on this post is, “I baked you some dessert, so you can eat it while I eat you.” 😳

Is it sad that I’ve been to 3 of these places (and one of them is my own bed?)???

Peonies are my favorite (@ Trader Joe’s)
You should write this down.

Free with every purchase of Shape-Ups (but only on Dos de Mayo).

Cotton candy cloud @ SpringFest 2013.

What does it mean?!?

I may or may not have followed this guy home after work today.