(via @parker.carbone)

If you’ve ever lost anyone to cancer, been in love, or if you have a pulse and are breathing, this movie will make you cry 😭

They showed this trailer for Babygirl during the previews. It comes out on Christmas, but it’s def not a holiday movie I’ll be watching with my family. I will, however, download it illegally and watch it on my projector in the privacy of my own home 😅

Actual footage of me looking for Game 4 tickets on Stubhub:

Game 3 is on my dad’s birthday, and he already said he had the best seat in the house (on his sofa in front of the TV) and didn’t want to go to the game for his birthday, so I was hoping the Padres would win one in LA and there’d be a 4th game in SD.

LFGSD ⚾💛🤎

Since Pammie visited me in LA this weekend, I took her to this Harry Potter themed cafe nearby inside Del Amo mall in Torrance.

Pammie ordered Goblin Snot (an iced matcha with white chocolate cream) and I got Phoenix Tears (passionfruit and mango sparkling refresher with lemonade topped with edible gitter). Phoenix Tears have immense healing powers (according to Harry Potter Wiki) ✨

The cafe was cute, but my sister has better Harry Potter decor in her house 😆 They could definitely work on their marketing and branding. Our iced cups, for example, should have stickers with their logo on it. ‘Snot’ and ‘Tears’ were just scribbled on our cups with a sharpie 😅 My graphic designer eyes are very judgy 👀

My sister lives in the ‘burbs, so I felt relatively safe walking around her neighborhood by myself in San Diego. When I walk around my apartment in LA, though, I bring my pepper spray and box cutter and wear my Dodgers hat 😅

What better day to watch Beetlejuice Beetlejuice than Friday the 13th???

There were a lot of call backs to the original film, so I loved it. I feel like if you weren’t a fan of the first movie, you wouldn’t like this weird ass sequel.

For those who asked about the shirt I wore to the theater (literally no one), yes, I designed it on my Cricut, and yes, it glows in the dark 🖤💚

(via @michaelslayersofficial)

Also, I need more friends like these who would recognize and appreciate my morbid side 😆

What time did they even film this? It’s impossible to get a picture at LACMA’s Urban Light installment without a gaggle of tourists in the background.

I’m a little obsessed with Beetlejuice.

No one commenting on my shirt reminded me of last Halloween when Jess helped me carve a Beetlejuice pumpkin, and Christine thought we were carving Albert Einstein 🤣

Spooky Nugs and tots for dinner. Dennis was like, ‘What are you, five?’ 😆

Um, would a 5-year-old illegally download a PG-13 M. Knight Shyamalan thriller and eat kettle corn out of a Mcdonald’s Boo Bucket??? (Don’t answer that).

We watched It Ends With Us at the theater, and I didn’t read the book or watch the trailer beforehand, but Justin Baldoni directed and starred in it, and I’ll watch anything he’s in. If you don’t know who Justin Baldoni is, he was Raf in Jane the Virgin and the love of my life.

I’m just gonna leave this here 😍

This movie def made me cry, but Christine was crying throughout the entire movie, even the parts that weren’t sad LOL. She was already crying before the movie started when they showed the trailer for We Live In Time. To be fair, I also cried during that trailer.

Christine loves Justin Baldoni, too, so I asked if she’s seen Five Feet Apart, another movie Justin directed but did not star in, and I sobbed through in 2019. She found it streaming on Prime, watched it alone at home, and has been crying all day 😅

And we could live so happily
If no one knows that you’re with me
I’m just kidding, but really, really, really
Please, please, please don’t prove I’m right

I hate that I like this song.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is one of my favorite 80s movies (only behind Beetlejuice). No wonder I like this song so much!

Mega Simone – Hit Me Where The Heart Is

I’ll be who you want to
Baby please make me feel
Hit me where the heart is, let me know
What the best part is, I should grow

💔

Through some excessive light googling, I found the baby registry of a guy who ghosted me once 😳 It’s a blessing and a curse, the shit you can find out on the internet…

I watched the movie, Chef, on a train on my laptop with an audio splitter and a boy I don’t talk to anymore. All of my memories of this movie are tied to him, and now I have new memories.

They have a Chef food truck (inspired by Chef Roy Choi and Jon Favreau’s movie) inside Park MGM. We picked up breakfast here before heading to the airport to go home. It was *chef’s kiss*.

Past Lives has been streaming on Showtime, so I’ll just be here for the next month 💔

I usually have Food Network or ID on in the background while I’m working (it’s either Guy Fieri or Evil Lives Here, there is no in between). My sister uses the live streaming service, Fubo, and last week, they removed both channels (among others). You guys, IDK how productive I’m gonna be without Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives playing in the background ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: I signed up for Sling TV because I can’t live without Guy Fieri saying something is ‘out of bounds’. It came with a free month of Showtime, AMC+, Starz, MGM+ and Paramount+.

BRB I’m watching Past Lives on Showtime right now and crying.

Pammie and D were supposed to go to a concert downtown and stay at a hotel tonight, but his friend had a birthday party, so they sold their concert tickets, but the hotel was non-refundable, so Pammie and I had a little staycation (@ Marriott Marquis San Diego Marina)

I had the biggest lobster roll I’ve ever had, watched the Padres murder the Diamondbacks, and got a free mule from the cute bartender (s/o to Giovanni!) because he thought I was sick (this is just how I sound now after the stroke) (@ Water Grill)

We went back to the hotel and watched The Idea of You. I loved it 🥰 I might have to go to Coachella next year so I can meet the love of my life…

FYI, I *love* staying in hotels. We went up to LA once for a doc appointment and were gonna stay in my apartment. My sister didn’t drive my car, so she left my house keys in SD (they were attached to my car keys). We had to stay in a hotel that night, and I didn’t mind one bit 😆

Fun Fact: I’ve never seen a Star Wars movie, but I have seen The Mandalorian series, because Baby Yoda’s so dang cute.

We once did a collabo with Star Wars at work, and my boss had to explain to me what a Stormtrooper was, a Death Star, a Sith Lord…

I was gifted free tickets to Comic-Con one year. I knew I was out of place when I looked up at the big screen and thought aloud, ‘What movie is this?’ and some dude looked at me like I was crazy and said, ‘It’s Return of the Jedi!’ I’m pretty sure I was the only one within a 10-mile radius who hadn’t seen a single Star Wars movie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The story of Jennifer Pan was the very first true crime podcast I listened to.  My coworkers and I used to listen to the podcast together while we worked and would audibly gasp at all the crazy parts. Now they’ve made a documentary about it on Netflix. I know what I’m watching tonight! Another wild Friday night in, y’all…

I’ve watched all of these TV shows/movies (Fleabag, La La Land, Normal People, and Past Lives) and can honestly say they’ve all made me ugly cry. The only one I didn’t love was La La Land, but this dream sequence was everything, though 💔

Focus Features was also behind one of my favorite films ever, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Def watching this one…

Christine’s cousin, Cher, was telling me she was recently at Verbatim Books (a used bookstore in North Park), and she was showing her kids this Childcraft Encyclopedia Book Set from the 80s that she used to love when she was a kid. I was like, “OMG I had those books! The Make and Do one with all the crafts was the best.” And she tells me she opens up the Make and Do book because it was her favorite one, too, and written inside was, “Marion Choa, age 11.”

It was like a scene out of Serendipity, except there was no John Cusack LOL. For those who’ve never seen Serendipity, #1 Have you been living under a rock? and #2 Read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia.

My mom must have donated the books to a local Goodwill, and they somehow made their way to a used bookstore in North Park. Serendipity, y’all! I totally believe in fate and kismet and signs and all that bullshit. At the same time, I believe that some things just aren’t meant to be…

Maybe the love of my life will buy this set of books from Verbatim out of nostalgia, and I’ll be flipping through the Make and Do book at their house one day, and I’ll see my name written in there. Only in movies, right?

I remember being at a concert with a boy I liked and waiting in line in the bathroom ruminating over all the bad decisions that led me to that moment LOL and wondering why I wasn’t enough for him and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was like, “You look really cute today.” And I thought, “If he can’t see that, then it’s his fucking loss.”

Anyway, sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you’re a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off nobody! 😅

I’ll just be here till September 5th 💚

What in the Indecent Proposal? 🫠

Life’s hard enough. Eat the heart-shaped donuts ❤️🤎

Also, I washed down my prozac with an iced coffee from Mcdonald’s this morning, and I’m ready to start my day 😅

BRB crying.

Forbidden love is like my favorite trope, and if you’ve never seen Moulin Rouge!, Christian (a writer) and Satine (the star of the Moulin Rouge) are secretly in love, but they need the duke to invest in the club to keep it afloat, and the duke wants Satine, so she pretends to be in love with him. Christian gets jealous and writes this song for Satine to sing in the show so whenever they sing it, it means they still love each other, and my heart bursts every time I hear it ♥️ Also, Ewan Mcgregor has the voice of a goddamn angel, and I’m still salty that he was robbed of an oscar nom in 2002. That is all.

Prepping for my birthday weekend 🎥✌🏼

Days off secured, flight and hotel booked ✔️

I brought down my projector the last time I was at my apartment, but there’s barely any blank walls in this big ass house, so I had to set up my screen on the 4th floor 😅 My sister’s husband uses that floor as his mancave (he keeps his boxes of baseball cards up there and it opens up to the rooftop where he smokes and grills), so I’m hardly ever up there, but what are you gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My sister had a real Christmas tree last year, but didn’t want to deal with vacuuming all the needles and having to trash it afterwards again, so she got this artificial one.

She and her husband love the real tree smell, though, so I got some fraser fir fragrance oil for my scent diffuser, and now it smells like Christmas up in this bitch.

FYI if you didn’t already know, my sister is a Potterhead.

On our way to brunch today, my sister’s husband was like, “Why do you look like our rebellious teenage daughter?” I was wearing my Michael Myers shirt and carrying my medication in a ziploc bag because it didn’t fit in my tiny ass purse. The lip ring and the fact that I was fresh-faced out of the shower with no makeup on probably didn’t help. A few years ago, I flew with them, and the person at the airport counter thought I was their daughter. They were so offended LOL. I was like, “It’s probably because I look so young, not because you look so old.” 😅

Loved, loved, loved the new Wonka movie. I had no idea it was a musical, I think the studio didn’t disclose that on purpose so more people would watch it. Luckily, I like musicals!

I’m gonna drink all my beverages in this fun souvenir cup I got at the theatre.

The Pantone Color Institute named its color of the year for 2024 and it’s Peach Fuzz. Pantone describes the color as “gentle, warm and cozy, subtly sensual and heartfelt.”

For those of you who think this stuff has nothing to do with you, I present to you this scene from The Devil Wears Prada 😆

So with flour on my hands
I’ll show them all how
Goddamn happy I am

What if when he sees me
I like him and he knows it?
What if he opens up a door
And I can’t close it?

BRB crying (@ AMC UTC 14)

Waitress is my favorite musical ever. Yes, over Hamilton. They both debuted in 2016, and Waitress was nominated for four Tony Awards, but Hamilton swept the Tony’s that year (Sara Bareilles was robbed, IMO). They’re showing the musical for a few days at the movie theatre, so I had to watch it with Shi (who was lucky enough to catch the musical on Broadway) and Pammie (who watched it with me here in San Diego). I made us some deep shit dish apple pie to celebrate. Just kidding. I instacarted a Julian Pie from Vons 😅 Ain’t nobody got time to bake a pie from scratch!

I put the pie slices in mason jars like they served at the musical for us to eat at the movie theatre because I’m extra. Shi was like, “Were they selling these outside?” And I was like, “No, I made them. Well, I bought the pie. I just put it in jars and made the label.” 😅 She was like, “I was just trying to make it here on time!”

It only takes a taste
When it’s something special
It only takes a taste
When you know it’s good
Sometimes one bite is more than enough
To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of

We watched the musical live at the Civic Theatre, but they took it off Broadway in 2020, so I never got to see Sara Bareilles play the lead role in NYC. She did a small run with Jason Mraz playing her doctor, but I couldn’t find anyone who could just go to NYC for the weekend to watch it. I guess I don’t know anyone who flies by the seat of their very chill pants like I do! I hope they release it digitally so I can cry watch it at home whenever I want.

…or let’s watch a dystopian action-adventure movie together (@ The Lot)

I thought the new Hunger Games was a love story, but it’s more President Snow’s villain origin story 😅 We drove up to La Jolla because The Lot was the nearest theater showing the movie with recliner seats where we didn’t have to sit right in front of the screen. We did, however, have to sit next to these obnoxious kids who kept loudly commenting stupid shit during the movie. Like, isn’t this movie rated R? Are you even old enough to watch this shit? Where are your parents??? 🙄 Anyway, I loved the movie. Even better than the original Hunger Games movies. I didn’t read the book, so I had no expectations and nothing to compare it to. It was pretty amazing.

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes and Trolls Band Together also come out on November 17. What a time to be alive.

It’s the things we love most that destroy us

I’m def watching this!

…and here I thought my name had the best anagram (macaroni ho) 🤣

I’m def watching this <3

The Powerball jackpot is $1.7 billion tonight! May the odds be ever in your favor…

I ordered these boots online and I could zip them up all the way, but they were a little snug, so I wore them around the house to stretch them out a bit.

My sister’s husband saw me washing dishes looking like a crazy person in my swim shorts and a baby tee wearing my new boots and knee high socks, and he was like, “Why do you look like Woody from Toy Story?” 🤣

Update: I just realized I ordered the “narrow calf” boots LOL. No wonder they’re so snug! I put them on, and I asked Pammie, “Does it look like I’m baking bread in my shoe?” And she was like, “No! Why, are they tight? The leather will stretch as you wear it,” at the same time I was like, “I just have to lose a little weight in my legs.” 😅

I’m gonna try and exchange them for the regular width calf, even though I already wore them to Oktoberfest, spilled beer on them, and accidentally stepped on my sister’s toes and made her bleed so I probably have to wash her blood off the soles 😬

Apparently, Dumbledore died ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Is this like the time we were watching the fourth Matrix, and Pammie was like, “Neo looks so old,” and I was like, “Wait… who’s Neo?” 🤣 In my defense, I’ve only seen the first Matrix movie when it came out it 1999. I still can’t tell you what the matrix is!

This is why people don’t like watching shit with me 😅

When someone asks me what my limit is for an *NSYNC concert (it’s $1,000 for Beyoncé):

I love Flamin’ Hot anything. I used to eat a bag of hot fries from the gas station every time I’d drive from LA to SD. I tried these Flaming Hot Keto Puffs and they were a good alternative! Def reminded me of a time in my life I now refer to as BS (before stroke) 😅 I miss eating whatever I want!

Every time I eat “healthy” chips, I think of this scene from The Sweetest Thing 🤣

When I was 18, my friends and I slept outside a Ritmo Latino for *NSYNC tickets. That was the way you got good tickets back then 😅 If they have a reunion tour, I’m SO going. I skipped out on my high school reunion, but I wouldn’t miss this LOL. I’ll even sleep outside a Ritmo Latino again if I have to. Do those still exist??? It was like a Spanish Wherehouse 🤣 When I first moved to LA, there was still a Wherehouse near my apartment!

I used to watch Pee-wee’s Playhouse every Saturday morning when I was a kid, and I only know what the Alamo is because Pee-wee’s bike was hidden in the basement in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure LOL.

R.I.P. Paul Reubens 💔

Partly because it’s Harry Potter’s birthday, but mostly because I wanted some chocolate cake 😆

I laughed when I saw this clip because I used to drive by this baseball store on my way to get my brows done called Hitter’s House, and the first time I saw it, I had to do a double take because I thought it said “Hitler’s House” 🤣

P.S. My brow lady in LA probably thinks I’m dead since I used to see her every six weeks for the past decade, and I haven’t seen her since the incident. (Don’t worry, I’ve been going to my sister’s eyebrow threader in SD for the past six months, so my shit’s groomed.)

🤣🤣🤣

Update 8/5/2023: My brow lady texted me this morning to make sure I was okay. I told her I’d see her once I was back in LA. Get you a brow lady who checks up on you LOL. Ask for Devi at Ziba in Torrance!

Harry Potter Night (@ Petco Park)

I went to a Padres game with these potterheads and all I got was a Hufflepuff hat (and garlic fries from Gaglione Brothers. And a cheeseburger from Hodad’s. Ok, and a churro from Lane’s Lemonade Stand. No ballpark beers, though, because the last time I mixed alcohol with my meds, I was sloppy as fuck!).

The theme giveaway line was 45 minutes long, and we overheard this guy tell his girl, “I love you, but I’m not waiting in this line” LOL. Also, we picked up 3 hats first since the 4th person wasn’t at the game yet, so Pammie asks the giveaway dude for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and he starts reaching for a blue hat looking at her for confirmation, and Pammie was like, “Boy, that’s Ravenclaw!” 🤣

The “paw squad” is my new favorite part of being at Petco 🐾

I didn’t know that liking your husband would hurt this much.

We watched a Korean movie (@ AMC La Jolla), and I got us some Korean snacks to eat while we cried. They even referenced one of my favorite movies, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’ve never seen it, these two people erase each other from their memories after a painful breakup, and they still end up finding each other again. You can’t fight fate…

Jessie was off today for Juneteenth, so she invited us into her Korean world LOL. IDK guys, the Padres are opening next season against the Dodgers in South Korea, and she might go there solo and not come back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Are you laughing at your own joke???

– Pammie to me as I’m texting Alicia and dying of laughter

I’m not even mad they spelled Beetlejuice wrong. So excited for this sequel!!!

BRB crying. This movie and soundtrack are gonna kill me 😭 Jessie said we can have a pizza party and set up the outdoor screen when it comes out in June!

Childhood sweethearts who reconnect 20 years later and realize they were meant for each other.

P.S. I can’t believe this is the same girl who plays Hae Won from the nail salon in Sisters LOL.

Oh, look… another glorious morning… makes me sick!

When spooky season coincides with conference season 🎃🤓

Kicking off spooky season with some light reading…

Unsolicited fact about me: Beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies. It was one of the only VHS tapes my grandma had when I was a kid, so I’d watch it over and over again. My boss calls me ‘Morbid Marion’ and I think Lydia Deetz would be proud 🖤

Same.

Best gift ever! I finally set up this awesome projector Pammie got me for Christmas, and unlike Bird Box, it did not disappoint! Now if only I could get the last two hours of my life back…

Loved, loved, loved this film. Rami Malek deserves all the awards! What I would’ve given to see Queen live ⚡💔

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch (@ Redondo Beach)

This movie gave me so many feels, partly because of my obvious love for teenage rom-coms, but mostly because I got major flashbacks of that one time in the fifth grade when David Krzywicki found a note I had written about how cute he was. My outcome wasn’t nearly as good as Lara Jean’s! Ha. Only in the movies, I guess…

I love it when Weird Science is playing in the break room at work, and I get to stare at Chet’s sweet ass while I’m eating.

We all float down here (@ Reading Cinemas Grossmont Center)

I came to get scared, but I stayed for the dick jokes and NKOTB references! It was funnier and less scary than I remember the original being 27 years ago. Not gonna lie though, I still avoided eye contact with the sink drain while brushing my teeth last night.

La La Land was def overhyped, but this dream sequence of what could have been was everything 💔

Casting charms with these clowns (@ Universal Studios Hollywood)

Wizarding World of Harry Potter officially opens next week, but Pammie, Shi and I were able to attend a sneak preview. I’ve only seen a few of the movies, but I went partly because two of my favorite Potterheads were in town, and mostly because I was promised butterbeer. Shit was magical. Check it out if you’re in LA with $115 to spare.

!!!

Summer movie night (@ Hollywood Forever Cemetery)

…or one of the few things I wake up early on a Saturday for! 😉

Cubanos on the curb (@ Animal)

Jon Favreau and Roy Choi hosted an El Jefe pop-up from one of my favorite movies tonight! Chef was everything, and so was this sandwich (and so was this soundtrack!).

Add a box of girl scout cookies and you’ve got my plans for this weekend.

Anthony had me create my own profile on his Netflix account so that my chick flick recommendations wouldn’t get mixed in with his chick flick recommendations, obvi.

If only Amazon Prime had this feature so I could stop getting his beard oil recommendations for a healthier, kissable beard.

Lunch with Richie Tenenbaum and Mia Wallace (@ Ocean Diner)

My 3-day weekend can’t come soon enough.

💔

Life after Summer (@ Bradbury Building)

Always reblog.

I can’t promise this blog won’t devolve into a Paul Walker tribute site. Fair warning.

Always reblog.

Clearly, my dad has been using my netflix account.

Blackfish, beers, and the bernie with Anthony. Brandom!

They recently let go of all three of our web freelancers at work (a.k.a. my lunch buddies!).

One of them said that she misses hearing my laugh from across the office. She is the second person who has told me that. Today.

Sound must really travel in the advertising department! Yeah, that must be it…

All my favorite vampire couples are breaking up. Nothing lasts forever. Not even the love between immortals. Why even bother setting up an OKCupid profile???

NICK CARRAWAY: You can’t repeat the past.
JAY GATSBY: Why, of course you can.

Hey girl.

I’m officially settled into my new home on Manhattan Beach Boulevard! I hired a moving company because I live in a third-floor walk-up, and I may or may not still be sore from bringing my TV up the other night! Ha. I was hoping the movers would look like Ryan Gosling à la Blue Valentine, and they did—except they looked less like Ryan Gosling in the first half of the movie and more like Ryan Gosling after they fast forwarded a decade and ripped his heart out (along with most of his hair). Them’s the breaks!

Silver Linings Playbook. Loved, loved, loved.

Shi came up to have lunch with me and watch 500 Days of Summer at Santa Monica Pier last night! LA doesn’t feel like home to me yet, but it felt like home when she was here ♥

The Temper Trap – Sweet Disposition

This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!

Mr. Little Jeans – Rescue Song (RAC Remix)

Dessert and drinks at D Bar followed by an encore of Celeste and Jesse Forever with the original Celeste and Jesse Chel and Anthony last night!

When Anthony texted that he was waiting for us in the second row, far left, he meant in the theater that was actually showing the movie, and not the one that Chel and I were sitting in for five minutes before we realized that what we were in the wrong theater! Ha. We always seem to get lost when we’re together…

You are a souvenir shop, where he goes to remember how much people miss him when he is gone.

Mark Duplass – Big Machine (Acoustic Version)
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Mark Duplass – Big Machine (Acoustic Version).mp3]

Maybe I’m wrong and all that you get is what you see
Maybe I’m right and there’s something out there to believe

It’ll change your life, I swear.

Loved this book in highschool.
Love the Imagine Dragons song in the trailer.
Can’t wait to see the movie!

Mel has been working on the MTV Movie Awards all week and was able to get me and Shi into an advance screening of Magic Mike plus Q&A with Channing Tatum in LA last night!

I. CAN’T. EVEN.

More photos here.

I read Fifty Shades of Grey almost immediately after I heard that Ian Somerhalder—a permanent resident in my freebie five—might play the lead in the film adaptation. Also, the mention of a ‘sex chamber’ may or may not have swayed my decision.

My ovaries would explode if any of these guys got picked to play Christian Grey (left to right: Ian Somerhalder, Wes Bentley, Matt Bomer):

Clearly, I have a type!

I finished reading it in less than 24 hours. Never has a book left me so satiated… It’s so jaw-droppingly sexy that I’m not sure how they’re going to make it a movie without it being illegal in some small countries!

I wish my friends would read it already so I could have someone to discuss it with. This must be how those b’s felt about me and Breaking Dawn—I’ve been trying to finish the last book of the Twilight saga since 2008, but all my attempts to read it end with me throwing it across the room in hysterics.

On to Fifty Shades Darker! Laters, baby 😉

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.

I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

Fuck, I love me some Seneca Crane. Any chance those were non-toxic berries at the end of the movie?

Million dollar margaritas with Trace last night! Happy birthday and happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor 🙂

HAL: Well, let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.
OLIVER: I’d wait for the lion.
HAL: That’s why I worry about you.

I’d love to, but I already have plans to wear sweatpants and free up some space on my DVR tonight. Maybe some other time.

Sleeping At Last – Turning Page

I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

I may or may not have cried during this scene when I watched it for the first time at the theater on Friday. And again when I watched it on Saturday. And a third time while watching the bootleg I just downloaded today.

Dude, check out what we’ve been working on all afternoon.

I’m supposed to be finishing the last book of a certain love saga that shall not be named so that I can watch the movie today with the girls (if you know what I’m talking about, I will judge you, but I’m already super busy judging myself, so don’t feel too bad about it).

Instead of reading, I’ve been staring at this animated gif from Happy Endings all morning. I laughed so hard during this scene that I scared my dog!

I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.

After watching Justin Timberlake’s dry humping scene in Bad Teacher, I thought I could never love him again.

I was wrong.

Add a tub of ice cream and you’ve got my Valentine’s Day plans for 2012.

Some days, we only speak in movie quotes.

Loved, loved, loved 50/50… even though my friends totally served me during this scene! Just because my car is a perpetual mess… and we often clean it out when we’re near a dumpster… and I sometimes stalk my ex boyfriends on facebook.

Don’t judge me.

The only thing better than Ryan Gosling in a suit is Ryan Gosling eating pizza in a suit. That slice from Sbarro bumps this animated gif up from a 10 to an 11!

Now who do I have to sleep with around here for someone to seed this Crazy Stupid Love torrent that’s been stuck at 56% for the past three hours???

Liberty Station’s Summer Movie Mania night consisted of Mona Lisa sandwiches, wine, brie, Jessie’s brownies, my favorite girls, and Tom Cruise before his crazy couch jumping days.

Quote of the night:

Who needs a boy to keep you warm when you’ve got wine?

TOM: Why’d you dance with me?
SUMMER: ‘Cause I wanted to.
TOM: You just do what you want, don’t you?

I had dinner and drinks at Craft and Commerce with four of my faves last night… four and a half if you count Chel’s 32-week belly! Is it weird that it wasn’t the first time this week that I hit up a bar with one of my preggo friends? I had drinks with Belle at Cottonwood Golf Club after work the other day. The bartender poured me another double vodka cranberry to-go before we made our way next door to a dry charity event for some silent auction action and complimentary noms from Outback.

We’re a couple of classy broads.

At Alicia’s dirty thirty last night, I realized that A) I should just automatically assume that every guy who pursues me is in a relationship (as my ongoing track record suggests) and B) maybe I shouldn’t have worn leggings. I can’t even tell you how many people grabbed my ass! I went home alone last night and I’m not gonna lie, I feel pretty good about not having to take a shame shower. I don’t care how hot you are (or how drunk I am), some guys just aren’t worth the trouble… I may have woken up this morning with dollar bills in my bra and a serious hangover, but at least I still had my dignity!

This must be how Reese Witherspoon felt in Pleasantville when she started reading books and stopped being such a whore.

Today was especially rough.

I was sitting here after my workout, watching Unwrapped: Sandwiches on the Food Network (torture, I know). They featured the Grilled Cheese Invitational in LA, and I decided that this event would be well deserved after the @MindzAlike #BLC was over. I googled it, and of course it’s happening the weekend before this BLC ends! Boo whore. That would have been the ultimate celebratory meal.

Five weeks left, and I’m on top with over 20 pounds lost. Those delicious grilled cheese sandwiches will just have to wait till next year…

Between the two of us, Pammie and I know eighteen* girls who got knocked up last year. Eighteen*. Can we all just take a second to acknowledge how ridiculously high that number is? It’s only January, and I’ve already been invited to three baby showers. We’ve clearly been using the iPeriod app for different reasons.

*Update: Nineteen (damn it, Belle!)

Ellen: [About him and Michelle Williams] I like you individually, I like you as a couple, I don’t know if you guys are a couple, you’re being cagey about it, I know that. If you’re a couple I’m all for it. Wait, you’re pedaling faster, what’s happening?
Ryan: I’m trying to get away from this conversation.

Penny & The Quarters – You and Me
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Penny and the Quarters – You and Me.mp3]

I started my birthday week how I usually do—with a good cry and a hot bearded fellow (in this case, Ryan Gosling).

Can’t wait to watch Blue Valentine tonight with the girls!