I was sitting in Grantville Park on my lunch break with my rolled tacos in one hand and my iPhone in the other wondering how the hell I was supposed to eat my Taco Fiesta AND watch episodes of Happy Endings at the same time (and in case you were wondering… yes, my wallet’s too small for my fifties and yes, my diamond shoes are too tight).

My friends and I are doing another Elfster gift exchange this year, so I’ve added an iPhone Moviepeg to my wishlist. The list is really more of a loose guideline. Like if you were to get me a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in Imperial Black even though I clearly wished for Onyx Black, I would still accept it.

• The Town DVD from Amazon, $17.99
  Ben Affleck grows a fierce beard (and does some other stuff, too) in this movie.
• Apron (any style) from Anthropologie, $28.00-$38.00
  I love to bake, and I’m pretty sure my treats would taste even better if I made them while wearing this fabulous apron.
• Laptop Desk (Walnut with Chocolate Cushion) from Brookstone, $29.95
  I like to browse the interwebs how I like to do most other things—in bed with no pants on.
• Madison Op Art Sateen Large Wristlet (Black/Silver) from Coach, $98.00
  I once left my whole purse inside Macy’s. And lost my wallet in Vegas. And found my ATM card in the freezer. Clearly, I need a purse that attaches to my wrist.
• External Hard Drive (1TB) from Amazon, $78.99
  Jay’s folder labeled "NOT PORN" is taking up too much space on my desktop. There really isn’t any porn in there, but it does have R. Kelly’s entire discography (which might actually be worse, I think).
• Stella Im Hultberg’s “Never Mind” Gelaskin (iPhone 4) from Gelaskins, $14.95
  I want this partly because Stella is my favorite artist, but mostly because the bottom corner of my phone is chipped from dropping it.
• Pink with a Splash All-Over Body Mist from Victoria’s Secret, $15, 2/$22, 3/$30
  There are eight different scents, and they all smell delicious. Pick one (or eight).

Unlike previous years, I tried to make my list somewhat affordable, hence the missing KitchenAid Stand Mixer (a wish list staple of mine). I still want it, though. In Onyx Black. Just sayin’.

Is it weird that Il Postino’s mom gave me a leopard print body pillow for Christmas? How does that woman know I’ve been sleeping alone? A boyfriend arm pillow would’ve been more obvious, but I’m picking up what she’s putting down!

Between the holidays and moving, I didn’t have time to make a Christmas wish list like I usually do. My birthday is in a few days, so I’m posting one anyway! As I was making my list, this 13-year-old asks me, “Do you REALLY think your friends are gonna buy you this stuff? Most of it costs over $200!” Shut it, kid! It’s called a “wish” list. Not a “things-I-can-afford-to-buy-myself” list. I mean, seriously… what do kids learn in junior high these days? I could really use more practical stuff like gift cards to Target, Walmart, Costco or Arco… but where’s the fun in that? On to the list…

• The Kate Laptop Bag (Black)
  According to Shi, I don’t be knowin’ about protection! I need to stop throwing my MacBook Pro around.
• KitchenAid 5-Quart Artisan™ Stand Mixer (Onyx Black)
  I’m pretty sure I bake enough cupcakes to warrant a $300 stand mixer.
• Coach Soho Patent Satchel Handbag (Silver/Purple)
  I wanted this bag years ago, but I don’t think they make it anymore. I recently saw it again on eBay.
• Canon PowerShot SD780 (Black) Thanks, Pammie!
  I lost my digital camera in the Great Purse Disaster of 2005 and it has never been replaced.
• Pinzon Sheet Set (Plum/Queen)
  They match my gorgeous Simply Vera Wang City Night Comforter Set.
• Coach Madison Op Art Sateen Wristlet (Silver/Black)
  My mom always says I’d lose my vagina if it wasn’t attached to my body. A purse is no different.
• Bose SoundDock (Black)
  I listen to my “Karaoke” playlist everytime I shower, and it’s probably not a good idea to have my laptop in the bathroom with all that steam.

• The Beatles: Rock Band (Wii)
  I’ve been listening to The Beatles since I was in the womb and I can rock the mic’ to any of their songs!
• The Beatles LOVE Show – Cirque du Soleil
  I’ve always said that I want someone to fly me to Vegas to watch The Beatles LOVE Show for the third time (it could never be enough) and stay the night at some fancy hotel. Can somebody make that happen already???
• Wilton Cake Decorating Class at Michael’s
  It’s hard to believe, but my cupcakes could get cuter.

• San Diego Restaurant Week (Dinner)
  I’m all about yummy food with good friends. Or with yummy boys. Whatevs.
• Deep Tissue Massage Thanks Pammie, Chel and Shi!
  I’d get a massage every night if I could afford it. I’ve gotten one at The Knot Stop, but I heard Chiropractique was good, too. Or you could just give me a personal massage. No happy endings, though—it’s my birthday, not yours.