These memoji are so accurate 🤣

When you’re dictating your shopping list into your notes app while driving and some asshole cuts you off:

These randomly generated Bitstrip comics of me are 100% accurate.

Unusually heavy traffic made my commute home from work today a whopping 7 minutes. Life’s rough sometimes.

Um, of course my #choking playlist has Young the Giant on it… as does my workout playlist and my baby makin’ playlist. Just kidding. (I don’t have a workout playlist.)

I’m pretty sure Antho only got an iPhone so that he could be included in our group texts!

I’m overdue for an upgrade, and I don’t know if I want to stay with the iPhone or get a Samsung S III. Thoughts??? I can’t make a decision without tons of research. And by ‘research’ I mean other peoples’ opinions.

My Girl Scout Cookie Locator app has met its match.
Take me to your leader maple bacon donuts!

My Instagram feed exposes my obvious love of booze, fine dining, and other people’s babies.

I have three weddings coming up (none of which are my own, of course), and Yelp just threatened to take away my gym junkie badge due to a lack of check-ins. If that’s not a sign to start working out again, then I don’t know what is. Besides, isn’t the point of weddings to get good photos of yourself while you’re thin?

I would be lying if I said that I finally updated my jailbroken phone for the wireless syncing capabilities.

Sent from my iPhone.

Shi: I like this new Salvador film for the Hipstamatic app
me: (looking at her iPhone) Ooh. Like Salvador Dali.
Shi: Who?
me: Salvador Dali. The artist? That’s his mustache.
Shi: I don’t know who that is… I thought it was a bathing suit top!

Killing me, smalls.

What can I say, I’m a popular girl.

Tina Cohen-Chang is officially living my life.

I expected it to be harder (that’s what she said).

Till next season, Angry Birds…

Just when I thought I had nothing to live for… Prepare for total destruction, bitches.

Is this where I’m going to die?

I can finally have my life back.

(This is why I’m single.)

(image via ohfuckyeahjosephgordon-levitt)

If Bejeweled Blitz games last only one minute, where did the last 3 hours of my life go?

I probably shouldn’t rely on my FortuneBall app to make any life-altering decisions.

Seven of my friends and I sat in the theater waiting for the movie to start last weekend, and all seven of them were playing with their iPhones. The only thing I could do on my non-iPhone was check the time. Boo whore. I said what I always say when this happens (which is every time we go out), “My Verizon contract isn’t up till July, you bitches.” Except this time, it WAS July. I mean, where did my life go??? Anyway, I visited the AT&T store the next day and snagged their last iPhone 4G. Yay!

Here’s my first photo taken with my iPhone…
App: Hipstamatic / Lens: John S. / Film: Kodot Verichrome

Chel, Shi, Flex and I ate dessert waffles topped with Nutella, taro ice cream, strawberries and whipped cream at Crepe World tonight. We sat there for an hour or so playing with our iPhones before realizing that we could be doing the same thing at home in our chones. So now I’m blogging this from my iPhone at home. And yes… I’m in my chones.

I always thought I inherited my winning personality from my crazy mom, but now I’m not so sure.