Me after solving today’s wordle:

I love Filipino Kare Kare, and this restaurant makes it with BRISKET. I have to try it! BRB, looking up flights to Houston.

Googling “how to raise good cholesterol” because my doctor said my number should be higher, and the first suggestion is to exercise more 😅 I’m like, uhhh, can’t I just eat more fish??? 🤣

When my sister’s husband found out the Young the Giant show was rescheduled and I was going with Francis, he was like, “Christine must really trust you with her husband!” What can I say, I’m trustworthy as fuck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But this is also me:

JK, Christine can rest! 🤣

Yvonne?! That’s a french ass name!

I’ve had Food Network on in the background as I’ve been working, and I always thought “star anise” was pronounced “star a-nees,” but I’ve heard both Chef Zakarian and Chef Symon call it “star a-nis” today, and I was like, “Why are they saying it like ‘anus’?” LOL. But I googled it and it is pronounced like anus 🤣

We used to sell these sabatier steak knives when I worked at Red Envelope, and I called them “saba-teer” for months until a customer pronounced it “suh-ba-tee-ay,” and I was like, “These knives are french?! How come no one told me???”

🤣🤣🤣

I used to watch Pee-wee’s Playhouse every Saturday morning when I was a kid, and I only know what the Alamo is because Pee-wee’s bike was hidden in the basement in Pee-wee’s Big Adventure LOL.

R.I.P. Paul Reubens 💔

The theme song for Evil Lives Here is easily the most perfect and creepiest intro music.

I love Michelle Buteau. She was the host of season 2 of Barbecue Showdown and she has a hilarious new show on Netflix, Survival of the Thickest. Before this, I’d seen her in a number of romcoms where she played the sidekick or a minor B character. I’m so glad she’s finally starring in her own show!

When my speech therapist suggested I read a book out loud to help with my voice (pretty much the only thing still noticeably affected by the strokes), I amazon primed Michelle Buteau’s book so fast.

…or how I start every 4th of July.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest was delayed for 2 hours because of the NYC rain, but I eventually got to watch Joey Chestnut win his 16th mustard belt 🌭

…or me whenever my sister tells me I should go on a walk or do my Breather exercises that my speech therapist told me to do. Basically, I don’t like any kind of exercise LOL. She’s always like, “You should be grateful you can still move and talk!” especially after her coworker told her that her cousin who’s the same age as me had a stroke and died. Ok fine, I’ll go on a walk and do my breathing exercises… *grumbles*

…or Jay’s message to me today after finding out about my strokes 🤣 I can totally hear him saying that! Except he says “skrong” like Kanye in Roses and “bitch” (also like Kanye in Roses).

I saw Kanye perform his debut album at 4th and B back in 2004. I miss the old Kanye.

Hey, Siri. Play the ‘Roy is sorry for not understanding Keeley’ playlist.

Don’t mind me. Just re-watching old Ted Lasso episodes and loved this scene.

P.S. I’ve known Sade’s By Your Side was gonna be my wedding song ever since it came out in 2000 and I thought I’d be married by the time I turned 25 (I’m 41 now LOL).

The Ted Lasso series finale was so good! I’ve never been so invested in a fake sports show.

…or me telling everyone I know about Barbecue Showdown.

Mmm, Daddy 😈

Logan Sandoval is my favorite contestant on Barbecue Showdown.

He has a weekend pop-up in LA. Who’s coming with me???

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

The second season of Barbecue Showdown came out today on Netflix, so these are my plans for the weekend.

I’ve been to BBQ Showdown judge Kevin Bludso’s original location in Compton. He’s since moved to Fairfax, and he’s opening a location in Santa Monica this summer. Take me with you, and I’ll treat you to a Pink’s chili dog and some Brambleberry Crisp ice cream from Jeni’s after! None of which will hold up to my apartment in Redondo, so we’ll just have to eat it there! I hope you’re hungry 😏

Me: Waco? Oh, it’s the 30-year anniversary.
Pammie: What happened in Waco?
Me: What do you mean, ‘What happened in Waco?’ Waco’s only known for one thing!
Pammie: I only know Waco for the Magnolia Silos LOL.

Even if I didn’t love true crime, I’d still know what happened in Waco 🤣

P.S. If you weren’t alive for Waco in 1993, you are much too young for me LOL.

BRB crying.

God, I love this show. Thank goodness it was renewed! I’m still salty about The Company You Keep cancellation LOL.

These viagra commercials on ID are crazy LOL. I just wanted to watch some true crime.

My sweet friend surprised me with a Melissa O’Neil Cameo  today (our favorite actress from The Rookie!). All of Melissa’s Cameo proceeds go to the Fresno Bully Rescue where she got her dog, Herc, who recently passed, so def get one from her if you can! Thank you, Heather! 💕

If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance I’m just enjoying myself.

🖤🖤🖤

“CORNER!” – me to absolutely no one while making a sandwich after binge-watching The Bear.

Chunky Monkey is my spirit animal.

Lady Marion Donutton of Quiksilver

(I knew I’d come to regret postmating Randy’s Donuts today.)

If you’re not binging Bridgerton, then I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. Make haste, y’all!

…or what I tell myself when I have to work on the weekend and they forget the organic goji berries on the $20 acai bowl I just postmated.

Shi thinks I’m attracted to anyone with a beard, and she ain’t wrong. Also, why is this the second convo I’ve had about 90 Day Fiancé today???

I blame my love of questionable meat and going commando. Or maybe it’s just my fun, approachable vibe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Which Tiger King personality are you???

This billboard looks like the first thing I created in photoshop circa 1996. Has anyone else reached the Tiger King segment of their quarantine yet???

…or me when my bff’s family was done going around the table saying what they were all thankful for, and her 6-year-old daughter says, “Now let’s say what we hate about each other.”

I find this kid equally amusing and terrifying.

Same.

Can I get a Clearly Canadian to wash down these tofu balls? (@ Button Mash)

Actual footage of me picking up my food order during the Game of Thrones finale.

After setting up my projector and ordering food, I got in my car and realized my battery was dead. I must’ve left the dome light on Friday night when I was looking for that mango hi-chew that fell into the abyss.

The food was already paid for, so I had to take a lyft there and back to get it. Luckily, both of my drivers were more concerned about the rain in LA than the GoT finale. I called AAA when I got home, and the dude took an hour and a half to get to my apartment. Once he jump started my car, he told me that I should keep it running for another half hour! I got back home around 10pm after driving aimlessly in the rain and finally queued up the episode.

As it turns out, I didn’t need to partake in a social media blackout to avoid spoilers that night, because my entire evening leading up to the finale was more exciting than the finale itself!

The lack of casualties during the Battle of Winterfell does not bode well for my Game of Thrones Dead Pool entry, guys.

(Fucking Arya, though!!!)

Friends is Shi’s most favorite TV show ever, and Shi is our favorite bachelorette!

Shi chow-crowned an impressive amount of gummy dicks. Marry this woman already!

Don’t have to tell us twice (@ The Tipsy Crow)

This mechanical bull has seen better days, and so has my liver (@ Double Deuce)

It was so much fun partying like I was 21 again, but I spent the entire day in bed afterwards paying for it!

(Same time next weekend?)

—

Friends-themed food and drink ideas:

• Penis cake – “Emma’s 1st birthday cake”
• Cheesecake – “Chandler’s stolen cheesecake”
• Chocolate chip cookies – “Phoebe’s grandma’s cookie recipe”
• Quiche – “Monica’s finger nail quiche”
• Trifle – “Rachel’s Thanksgiving trifle”
• Charcuterie board with jam and crackers – “Joey’s uncircumsized deli meat” / “Monica’s jam”
• Crab cakes – “Ross’ free crab cakes”
• Chicken wings – “Monica’s bubble bath chicken”
• Sandwiches – “Joey’s ride along sandwich”
• Pizza – “George Stephanopoulos’ pizza” or “Ross and Rachel’s breakup pizza”
• Flan – “Rachel’s birthday flan”
• Chocolate torte – “Joey’s date’s chocolate torte”
• Lasagna – “Monica’s mom’s back-up lasagna”
• Mini muffins – “Ross’ basket of mini muffins”
• Salad – “Monica’s perverted salad” or “Rachel’s side salad”
• Punch – “Monica’s tiki death punch”
• Mac & Cheese – “Chandler’s righteous mac & cheese”
• Turkey sandwiches – “Ross’ stolen thanksgiving leftover sandwich (the moist maker)”
• Chocolate – “Monica’s mockolate”
• Assorted candies – “Monica’s little pieces of heaven”
• Fajitas – “Ross’ fine fajitas”
• Cups and ice – “Phoebe’s cups and ice”

Vendors/Supplies:

• Friends Cake and Cookies – Wednesday Cake
• Friends Bunting Banner, Food Signage, Shirts – Shashime Designs
• Friends Bridal Sash – Etsy
  
• Purple Balloons – Party City
• Oh Shit Kit – Amazon
• Drink Pouches – Amazon
• Chow Crown – Amazon
• Penis Gummies – Amazon

I used to paint my grandma’s nails when she was sick, and I came across this episode of New Amsterdam on her death anniversary today.

BRB crying.

You guys, my glasses just fogged up in the Whole Foods parking lot.

Could it be any more humid???

BRB binging in bed ✌🏼

Sick days are for Scandal marathons.

Bumble bio update: Must hate smoked BBQ beef ribs.

I just binge watched two seasons of Casual, and I can’t believe this lady is only supposed to be five years older than me.

In her defense, I get carded all the time. Also, some dude coaching youth track at the park during lunch last week asked me if I was in high school! Sir, if you’re trying to get me to join your track team, I’m in my thirties. And more importantly, I don’t run.

I’m pretty sure the victim in this episode stole my CD binder circa 2001.

We were watching TV at my mom’s house over the holiday, and right after they showed this part, my aunt paused it, turned to me with a concerned look on her face, and was all like, “You know you can talk to me, right???” I meannnn.

#1 How dare you?
#2 This explains so much.

Further evidence that Mindy and I were separated at birth.

Preach!

I caught up on seven episodes of How to Get Away with Murder with Pammie over the weekend. I’m dying to know what happens next, but I never watch this show by myself because I get too scared. I can’t wait till I’m home for Thanksgiving to find out who shot Annalise, so someone please come over when the new episode airs this Thursday!

Spoiler Alert: There will be frozen salmon from Costco (it’s the only thing I keep stocked in my fridge because holiday weight) and me with no pants on.

…or me on a juice cleanse.

I’m doing it partly in preparation for all the BBQ and bad decisions I’ll be making in Austin next week, but mostly because I bet Anthony that I could lose twenty pounds by the time we went to ACL or I’d pay for his BBQ at Franklin. These last five pounds can’t be zumba’d off in a week, so I made a game-time decision to bring my juicer out of retirement yesterday.

I can’t wait to go on vacation! And also eat solid food again.

Mindy is back and still living my life, obviously.

I used to take Vicodin before getting a Brazilian (until I discovered the touch of an angel named Linda @ Viva Brazil – now @ The Wax Studio!).

I haven’t gone to the dentist in a year or two (or five). I used to buy groupons in lieu of dental insurance at my old job, and I had a habit of letting them expire before I could ever use them. I’ve had dental insurance for the past three years at my current job, and I don’t know what to tell ya. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Same.

…or my belated attempt at getting that summer bods ready for Cabo.

10 more days!!!

amindofmadness:

In the venn diagram of men I’ve been involved with, these two qualities never overlap! :p

…or me when I get an email asking how I’m doing.

I either respond with 27 pages or I don’t respond at all. There is no in-between.

Also, my mom got me hooked on Mistresses, and Joss is my spirit animal, obviously.

Highlight of my day: After lunch with my coworkers @ Pitfire, the cute cashier slipped me a free jumbo chocolate chip cookie on my way out.

I met up with my coworkers outside afterwards, thrust my cookie in the air and was all like, “FREE COOKIE, BITCHES!” Our excitement was short-lived, though. When we got back to my car, I had two parking tickets—one for an expired meter (my friend paid the wrong one) and another for not having a front license plate (I mean, if my car was meant to have one, it would have come with holes drilled in it).

I owe the City of Manhattan Beach $96 for that free cookie!

You guys, The Mindy Project is over and so is my life.

Prepare for my gif collection to suffer.

I apologize to anyone who’s had the misfortune of traveling with me!

Countdown to Cabo:

• Flight and hotel booked ✓
• Passport renewed ✓
• Summer bods (pending)

Add a box of girl scout cookies and you’ve got my plans for this weekend.

Anthony had me create my own profile on his Netflix account so that my chick flick recommendations wouldn’t get mixed in with his chick flick recommendations, obvi.

If only Amazon Prime had this feature so I could stop getting his beard oil recommendations for a healthier, kissable beard.

Accurate.