» 2004 » May
I can’t even look at my father without wanting to stab him. Repeatedly.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004

I’m Angela f*cking Chase. So maybe I don’t necessarily have crimson glow hair. Or an abnormally large percentage of flannel in my wardrobe. Or a neighbor with freakishly big hair that rises like the unleavened bread of his ancestors. So maybe we just have one thing in common: Angela’s relationship with her mother eerily parallels my relationship with my father. I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother. It just means too much to her. I could’ve said that! Lately I can’t even look at my mother without wanting to stab her. Repeatedly. I could’ve said that, too! Except replace the mothers with fathers, and I would’ve never said the latter (out loud). Why do I have such a horrible relationship with my dad? When did it get like this? My dad doesn’t approve of my passion, my art. My sister is graduating from a university this weekend with a Bachelors in ACCOUNTING. She has already been hired as an auditor for Ernst & Young, one of the big four accounting firms in AMERICA. My father adores her. He is SO proud of her… and then there’s me. The struggling artist. The daughter who always manages to f*ck up. My dad EXPECTS me to fail. I know it by the way he talks to me… by the evil stink-eye he gives me whenever I’m home (and he wonders why I’m never home!). I don’t know why he is so f*cking bitter. I go to school. I work. I don’t party. I don’t smoke. I didn’t have any teenage pregnancies. I’m a f*cking saint compared to a lot of people in and around my family. Now I have to tell him that I need another class to get my transfer studies degree. To a normal dad, that wouldn’t be a huge deal. I take one class in the summer and I get my dinky junior college diploma… but to my dad this means that once again, I have FAILED HIM. I cannot graduate (and I use the term loosely here since technically, even though I have acquired enough credits to “graduate” from a junior college, I will still be taking classes at a junior college for the next year because I’m not transferring to a university yet since I’m denying San Diego State’s acceptance letter—because I want to move to the OC and away from SD—and Cal Poly Pomona never graced me with one). I can get my diploma at the end of summer, but I can’t walk till next Spring because they only hold one ceremony a year. A third of the people don’t even attend the ceremony for getting their transfer studies degree. I don’t consider it a milestone in my life, and I know my dad will blow this out of proportion when I tell him tomorrow. I won’t even be able to say anything in my defense. He takes whatever I say with a grain of salt. He will find a way to lecture me… to tie this in to something completely separate from school and some how bring up the fact that I don’t floss enough or I don’t make my bed every morning or I should sleep earlier. I try to spend as little time as possible alone with my dad in order to avoid these ridiculous lectures (not to mention his aforementioned stink-eye). In the end, he just ends up making me feel like shit. My sister says that she’s proud of me and that I deserve so much more credit than my dad gives me. She tells me to just brush his shit off my shoulders, but I can’t. I’m too sensitive. It makes me angry and sad at the same time… He is one of the main reasons I decided to leave San Diego… And with that, I leave you all with a quote from J. Pierpont Morgan: The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are. I’ve decided. Now if you call me repeatedly tomorrow and I don’t pick up my phone, please come to my house to make sure that my dad didn’t kill me for not being able to walk next week. I’m only half kidding.

I’d lose my vagina if it wasn’t attached to my body.
Monday, May 24, 2004

The Ticketmaster whore bought HOOB tix for all you b*tches 🙂 Right now the people that are for sure going are me, Pammie, Sheenie, Edgar, Brad, and Meech… I have Chelface and Alvin as maybe’s, so that leaves two extra tickets… The show is Friday, June 11, at Soma and it’s gonna ROCK so let me know if you want to have a time with us (I’m channeling Rayanne Graff). This weekend was pretty cool. Friday, I went to work and spent my night alone at home watching My So-Called Life DVDs while Edgar and the boys got piss drunk at some bar. I totally forgot about Rhea’s party! Sheesh. I wrote it on a post-it note to remind me, but I lost the post-it note and ended up forgetting about it… My mom always tells me that I’d lose my vagina if it wasn’t attached to my body… Yesterday, I saw friends I haven’t seen in over a month (Sheenie, Jay and Meech). It felt good to be around them again… especially Sheenie! She lost twenty f*cking pounds! I felt like a goddamn HEFFER next to her. Haha… then I got over it and devoured some Mexican food from Taco Fiesta. I’m swearing off eating at taco shops after midnight… We ended up watching Shrek 2 (hilarious!) and chillin at Brad’s for a bit before going home. Edgar, Brad and Sheenie went up to Long Beach afterwards, because Edgar’s dad had to go to the hospital… Hopefully everything is okay… When I got home, my crazy aunts from LA were sleeping over. My mom is pretty crazy, too, and my dad’s sister was like… “You’re mom is crazy! I’m glad you and your sister got her personality. Or else I’d have to kick you.” Because my dad is very… serious. Not at all like me or my mom. My sister inherited some of his traits (and for that I call her Ben Junior… or BJ for short. LOL). My mom and I are very alike. I’m easily distracted and Jay always makes fun of me for it… Mayan’s probably late because she saw some butterflies and followed them. He went shopping with my sister and my mom, and my mom was talking to him and out of nowhere she said “BOBA!” and started walking towards the Boba Bliss kiosk. He was like OMG that’s where Mayan gets it from! Ha. I love my mom.

Uhhh… ehhhh… gaaaah…
Friday, May 21, 2004

I’m at work right now. I’ve only been here for forty minutes and I’m ready to GO HOME! It’s slow… and boring. It’s BRANDON! I only had four hours of sleep last night. My insomniac ass seriously needs to take some sleeping pills or something. So what’s up with YOU? I’ve been doing the same old… I haven’t seen so many of you in a long time. Sheenie. Jay. Jed. Meech. GERALD. I’m the WORST person when it comes to returning phone calls. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to your ass. Haha. If I’m vegging at home and having an I’m-gonna-veg-at-home kinda day, I usually won’t pick up the phone because people are usually calling to go out and I’m planning on staying in. If I miss your call (which is very likely considering my faulty hearing and the fact that Verizon sucks butt hair) I usually won’t call you back unless I’m doing something that day, thus giving me a reason to call so I can include you in my plans. I don’t want to call you and be like uhhh… ehhhh… gaaaah… awkward silence… because I have nothing to say sometimes… and all that can be avoided if I just don’t call at all 🙂 Anyway, I haven’t done anything life-altering or post-worthy these past few weeks. I went to my cousin’s baby’s christening… I went to Brad’s… I went to Jose’s… I went to Joey’s… I watched Goonies for the first time… I dyed Shell’s hair… and I think that was my week. Yesterday, I ate at Soup Plantation with Edgar, the twins and Skokie. It was just gonna be me and Skokie because we were starvin marvin after work, but I called Edgar up and he was like, “Is it cool if me and the twins eat with you guys?” and I was like, “Of course… Why wouldn’t it be? This isn’t a DATE, you FREAK!” Haha. If it was a date, then he’d better be taking me to Beni f*cking Hana’s 😉 Soup Plantation does have the blueberries-from-the-coast-of-Maine thing going for them, though… I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend. Edgar might go riding at Gordon’s Well, my parents are going up to Chino, my sister is staying in the OC to study for her finals… and I have work. Maybe I’ll stay home and enjoy the silence… You can stop by if you want, but you’re gonna have to do the truffle shuffle to get in.

Ken Griffey Jr. is MEAN!
Thursday, May 13, 2004

So today ended on a sour note. WTF? Who knows what happened? I sure don’t. Anyway, I went to a Padres game tonight. It was my first time at Petco Park. I haven’t been to a baseball game since the fifth grade or something. Padres beat Cincinnati. Someone cue the dinky fireworks. After the game, Edgar, Brad, Chris, Arlene, Zell, Skokie (thanks for hanging out with us!) and Edgar’s cousin’s husband’s relative and her friend went to Hooters downtown. Then we went home. Wow. Today seemed so much longer than a six-line paragraph. Oh, well, I could tell you that I went to the pet store at Grossmont and ooh’d and ahh’d over the St. Bernard puppies they had, but I won’t. Okay, I just did. OH, and I could tell you that I have all the recipes for every single Jamba Juice smoothie out there. DBJ! More tomorrow!


I ♥ this place!
Friday, May 7, 2004

I lost count of how many times I said that today. I went to the OC with Edgar to chill with Pammie. I ♥ the OC! Specifically Irvine. I’m so, so, so excited to be moving up there this summer. The vibe was faboo and the malls were cool and the traffic was hell, but I didn’t care because I ♥ this place! Being up there made me realize how much I won’t miss San Diego (haha!)… and how much I miss being around my big sister (even though she comes down practically every weekend!)… and that there IS a world outside SD. Edgar and I got there mid-afternoon and we all went to Southcoast so Edgar could buy his bougie-mcboug Lacoste shirt. He has like a million of those shirts in a million different colors… “but not in black, Mayan.” And now he has to get some all black Dunks to match. Even though he has a million pairs of black shoes. Ahh, he’s my boyfriend. I’m allowed to mock him. At least I convinced him to buy a medium shirt so he wouldn’t be swimming in his clothes 🙂 Southcoast is massive. I don’t even think we walked through the entire mall. I just remember seeing tons of random girls with huge flowers in their hair. Uhhh, sorry, JASMINE TRIAS. I didn’t know I was in Hawaii. That must be an OC thing, because I don’t ever see girls in SD putting foliage in their hair. Anyway, we went to Irvine Spectrum after that and I ♥ that place! The stores… the people… the restaurants… everything. I finally sat in the LOVE SAC that I remember Shi raving about many moons ago. It was heaven in an oversized bag. [Quick shout out to BYRON, the manager at Love Sac (like he’ll ever read this, but you should visit him! Haha)… when he found out we were Filipino, he delivered a complete monologue in TAGALOG. I was trippin. This TOTAL white guy was speaking it more fluently and with better enunciation than I could. He said that his girlfriend was Filipino and her mother wouldn’t let him eat in their house unless he could speak Tagalog so he learned it because her cooking was so good and he taught himself how to speak it by reading an English/Tagalog translation book and he has since broken up with his girlfriend because she moved to New York, but he still loves the language and would like to visit the Philippines soon… and he said this ALL in Tagalog. I’m STILL trippin! Isn’t that amazing that he learned his girlfriend’s native language to please her mother?] I’m seriously considering saving up for one for when I move up there. It’s almost $500! But well worth it! If I get one, I know I will go home from class and find Shi sleeping in it. Haha. She’s moving in with me and my sister! It’s gonna be effin awesome living with the girls. I wish Chelface and Roxy could move in with us, also. We would fill the house with laughter and watermelon pictures. Haha. We went to Urban Outfitters and Pammie bought me the CUTEST shoes (thanks, seester!). Edgar bought another shirt with a Buddha on it and it says, “For good luck, rub my tummy” Edgar doesn’t have a tummy. DBJ, homie. He has multiple tapeworms. I love that you don’t have to go downtown to shop at Urban in the OC like you have to in SD. It’s just so much more convenient there. Afterwards, we were hungry, so we ate at Shi’s old work, The Yardhouse. The atmosphere was so nice and I’ve never seen so much beer on tap in my life. We have a Yardhouse in SD, but I’ve never eaten there before. The waitress was hella cool. Sh*t, even the lady in the bathroom handing out the towels was cool. And you know what else was cool? My sister treating us out to dinner! MAN. I ♥ this place! Sorry we didn’t make it to your Friends finale extravaganza, Shi! Haha. Edgar and I needed to head back home to SD by the time we were done eating. This girl was all… “No one will want to answer the door if you come after eight o’clock, so come in through the back gate which we’ll leave open! Don’t ring the doorbell after eight… I’m telling you no one will answer it!” LOL. You crack me up, Shi. I have the Gilmore Girls DVD set… the My So-Called Life DVD set… You have the Sex & the City DVD sets and probably the entire Friends DVD set… We are television DVD set whores!

She’s the bootleg queen!
Tuesday, May 4, 2004

OMG. It was 100 motherf*ckin degrees out today! It feels like SUMMER already. I hate unbearably butt-hot weather. It just encompasses a crapload of things that I disfavor in life (like sunburns and wearing shorts). Don’t mind me. I’m just bitter because beach season is fast approaching and I’m not ready. Haha. Oh, I am FAR from ready. Perhaps I’ll be ready for summer 2005. Or 2010. Anyway, the construction workers are almost done tiling the first floor of our house. Thank goodness I didn’t have to help chisel tile or whatever it is you have to do to tile the floor. I shouldn’t be trusted with a power tool. Or just any tool in general. I wouldn’t even trust myself with a spork. Now I’m just rambling… I finally have high speed internet! My mom used to go crazy downloading all these songs on Kazaa when we had dial-up, but now she’s certifiably insane. I went on the computer the other day and she straight downloaded The Passion of The Christ! It was like… a MILLION kilobytes. She’s the bootleg quee-een! Who taught her how to use this thing? Haha.

Today, Edgar and I were talking about how I’m not very social. I have a small group of close friends and I’m fine with that. Edgar has like a ja-billion friends and he sees someone he knows every time we’re out (starts to get annoying, huh, Chel! Haha). It’s not the amount of friends (or friendsters) you have… It’s the quality of friends. When I move up to the OC, I’ll hopefully meet quality friends with similar interests. I have like ONE friend in SD who shares my passion for graphic design (sup, SKOKIE!). Other people just don’t get it. They don’t understand that sometimes I just want to embrace my inner nerd and stay home and work on my design projects instead of hanging out and doing nothing… My designs are self-fulfilling. Sometimes I feel like I’m just going clubbing because I feel like I’m supposed to do that kind of thing because I’m in the 18-24 age group. I have fun, but sometimes you just can’t fight your inner nerd. Resistance is futile.

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