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Curse.
Thursday, October 3, 2024
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I get my lashes done once a month by this lady who lives in Arizona. She lives part time in Tucson to help out with her grandkids, but she still has a lot of clients in SD, and she comes to my sister’s or Christine’s house so it’s convenient for us—Yes, Christine and I have the same Brazilian waxer and lash artist. I’ve even gone to her eyebrow lady when I needed a serious threading in a pinch. If you don’t share the same estheticians, are you even friends? 😜

We were trying to schedule our October appointment at our last session, and I wanted my lashes to be refreshed for my Halloween costume, so I was like, ‘Are you available the week of Halloween? Will you be with your grandkids?’ and she was like, ‘Oh, I don’t celebrate Halloween. I’m Christian.’ 😳

negan pardon me gif

I also finally saw my neighbor today. Everyone else around me is still there from when I lived in the building before the stroke, but my next door neighbor moved in while I was gone. I smiled at her and said hello because I was coming when she was going, but she just grimly smiled at me and kept walking. She probably saw my Halloween decorations and was thinking, ‘Oh, so you’re the witch who lives next door.’ She’s lucky she’s quiet, or else I’d put a curse on her 😆

felt cute might curse you later idk shirt

Wax Off.
Friday, April 19, 2024

I get my brows threaded pretty regularly (my eyebrow lady in LA was wondering where the fuck I was after the stroke because I used to see her every 6 weeks for the past decade), and I’ve been seeing my sister’s eyebrow lady since I’ve been in SD. I’m going to a party at Christine’s house tomorrow, and her daughter’s fucking savage. She once told our friend (who’s a girl), “I like your mustache!” LOL, so I always make sure my shit is groomed when I see her 5-year-old ass.

kelly clarkson waxing gif

I’ve been staying at my parents’ house, so my mom took me to her waxing lady, and I forgot how much waxing hurts more than threading 😅

michael myers shirt

I had her drop me off at the gym after so I could use their elliptical machines and the sauna. This guy got on the elliptical right next to me, even though there were a million other machines far, far away from me. IDK if he could hear my loud ass twerkout playlist through my earbuds or if he just liked my Michael Myers shirt 😆

Going to 24 Hour Fitness in East County and waxing my eyebrows? Is it 2000???

No Regrets.
Sunday, April 14, 2024

skincare

40-year-old virgin premeditated gif

I’ve been in a funk lately, and retail therapy always helps 😆

I’ve been seeing commercials with Elizabeth Banks for No7 Future Renew Damage Reversal Skincare, and even though I have the face of a 20-year-old (but my back is 55, my knees are 67, and my left hip turns 80 next week), it’s never too early to start a skincare routine. Coupled with Sand & Sky’s Australian Pink Clay Porerefining Face Mask, 24K Gold’s Under Eye Mask, Laneige’s Lip Sleeping Mask, and my Cat Headband, I’ll be able to reverse years of skin damage. Too bad it doesn’t reverse emotional damage… Is there a cream for that???

In case the skincare doesn’t cheer me up, I also bought a new bra that makes my rack look fantastic 😜

Bones.
Friday, October 20, 2023

skeleton bone nails

I saw these skeleton bone press on nails, but they were way too long, so I made my own skeleton bone sticker decals with my cricut and white vinyl! Love how it turned out 💀

Hearts.
Friday, February 14, 2014

valentine's day heart nails

🤍💕

Currently.
Monday, November 11, 2013

black, gold and white chevron nails

Monday mani + Elliott Smith.

Drink up with me now and forget all about
The pressure of days, do what I say
And I’ll make you okay

Only Gold For Me.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012

nude gold glitter nails

Camisole (China Glaze) + Only Gold For Me (Sephora by OPI)

I’m obsessed with this top coat!

Change.
Thursday, March 22, 2012

ombre hair stylist business card

I rarely get my hair cut, and the last time I dyed my hair was when I wore brown chola lip liner in the 90s. Since then, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not, in fact, a chola, and I’ve kept my hair naturally dark, long and boring for the past decade.

I recently designed business cards for Trace, and she offered to cut and color my hair for free! I’m long overdue for a change. And since I can’t afford to buy a jaguar like Anthony did to signify change after his breakup, a free hair cut will have to suffice! Ha.

Fancy.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012

sephora by opi only gold for me

Black Onyx (OPI) + Only Gold For Me (Sephora by OPI)

Don’t let the fancy nails fool you. I’m wearing yoga pants and my I ♥ Haters shirt in this photo.

Social Suicide.
Sunday, September 25, 2011

will and grace - alive and schticking - jack eyebrow

Going to Superbrows and letting someone besides Rosie thread your eyebrows is like going to to Viva Brazil and letting someone other than Linda wax your vagina—it’s social suicide!

Rosie is on vacation for two weeks, so I opted to get waxed at my old stomping ground, Vivid Nails. Tiffany wasn’t available, so I let some random woman wax my eyebrows. What was I thinking? She made them crazy thin, didn’t shape them, left a bunch of strays, and the worst part… she kept blowing on my face when she had clearly eaten KFC right before she waxed me. I had to hold my breath the entire time! And now I have to fill in my eyebrows till they start growing back. Boo whore.

It was pretty much the worst decision I’ve made all year. And I’ve made a number of bad decisions this year, so that’s saying a lot.

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