Jessie and I go to our friends’ kids birthday parties for the free hood ass ice cream trucks (@ SD Sweet Treats)

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

Partly because it’s Cinco de Mayo, but mostly because I wanted a burrito (@ Lolita’s)

Don’t let the picture fool you, I only ate half 🤪

Things I see on my afternoon walks:

This fenced off spot reminds me of the infinite abyss from Garden State. There’s so much tumbleweed around here for some reason.

I hate vanity plates, but I love pizza, so I’m torn.

I’ve seen these heart balloons in this window since Valentine’s Day… It’s May.

I name all the dogs I see regularly on my walks. I see this sweet girl almost every day, and I call her “Lucy” (“Lucille” when we’re being formal). I’ve never heard her bark.

There’s this asshole dog who always barks whenever he sees me. I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed a trans teen (the dog’s pawrents have a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL).

With a lot of great dogs, comes a great lot of poop. These little flags are everywhere.

Me checking what day my birthday falls on next year knowing I’m gonna have it at Texas Roadhouse LOL.

My friends will be like, “but this is in a mall parking lot in El Cajon, and we had champagne and wagyu at Born & Raised in Little Italy last year!”

Sorry B’s, I like my meat from East County ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I went to Texas Roadhouse again last night, partly because it was Meat Friday, but mostly because I did, in fact, leave my wallet there last week and had to get it LOL.

Keeping up with Meat Fridays (@ Texas Roadhouse)

You’re so fuckin’ bougie.

– my sister’s husband to me after I brought down my Aroma 360 diffuser and Cashmere Plum fragrance oil from my studio in LA for my room at their house in SD

Even my sister’s husband creeps pics of Chico from the rooftop when he’s on his walkies. God, we love Chico so much, and he doesn’t even know it LOL.

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends…🍾 🥂

I’m going going, back back, to Callie Callie (@ Callie)

We were finally able to get together and celebrate Jessie’s 40th birthday! 🎂 🎉 🍽️

Jessie knows everyone at Callie since she goes all the time! We met the head chef, Travis (thanks for sending over those complimentary fish collars), saw pictures of the manager’s cute pittie/corgi mix, Gravy, and wished the host well (he’s getting married next month!). Such a great experience, and the food was sooo good!

Love these girls 💕

On Fridays, we eat Korean BBQ (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I took my sister out for dinner, partly because my short-term disability (or STD LOL) was finally approved (EDD is so old school with actual paperwork and snail mail) and the payments are retro to when I applied for my claim in January, but mostly because I checked my ADP app to make sure they took my bennies out of my last paycheck and saw they gave me an unexpected raise and bonus (even though I technically haven’t worked since the incident).

Good thing I was max’d out on sick time and vacation, because that’s how I’ve been getting paid since January. I’ll be lucky if I get my first disability check before I’m back at work!

The best part about my afternoon walks in my sister’s neighborhood is seeing all of the dogs (@ Millenia)

I even saw Chico on my walk today! No picture, though, because Pammie told me to, “be cool” LOL. He was so happy to see us, though 😊

I’ve eaten meat every other Friday during Lent, I wasn’t about to stop now LOL (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I had to order delivery today because one of their flavors this week was Iced Oatmeal (my favorite!). I split one with Pammie for lunch, and we both thought it was delicious!!! (@ Crumbl Cookies)

FYI I also like oatmeal raisin cookies from Subway LOL (my first job that my dad made me get when I was fifteen) and the molasses cookies they used to have at Milk in LA.

UConn smoked SDSU in the NCAA Finals today (let’s face it, no one had State in their final March Madness bracket), but the Padres beat the D-backs and my dad’s heart surgery went well. All in all, a 10/10 day.

I went to SDSU for a year before I went to art school, so I have a little bit of Aztec pride.

My sister’s bro-in-law, Paul, treated us out for Korean BBQ tonight! (@ Hanu KBBQ)

Thanks for the dinner, laughs, and letting me pay you in your first ever Crumbl cookie! (Did you love it? I’m still trying to convince Pammie and D, but Christine let her kids pick the flavors last time, so ofc they picked all the wack ass cereal kinds LOL).

Let’s go, Padres! I’m watching Opening Day from my room at my sister’s instead of on the big screen at home and eating meal-prepped sausage and veggies instead of a doyer dog. What has become of my life???

When the weather is nice, I eat my meals outside on one of Pammie’s balconies, get crispy in the sun, and wait for the weiner pup, Chico, who lives across the street to come out, but it’s been raining every week (like it is today).

I haven’t seen the reservoir across from my parents’ house this full since the nineties!

Tornadoes and rain??? Don’t we live in California so we don’t have to deal with this shit???

I went to my first show in months tonight, partly because it was Kevin Garrett, partly because it was his birthday today, but mostly because he was the opener and I didn’t have to stay up that late (@ Quartyard).

Kevin Garrett – Coloring

Don’t want the world to know I’m by myself
Don’t want the world to know I’m on your shelf
But if you want to try at all
Stay for the night, tell you why nothing’s right if you’re gone
Stay for the night, if it’s all a lie, I wouldn’t mind if you’re wrong
Stay for the night, we’ve been alright for so long
There’s no coloring around us anymore
You either know or you don’t

He did a cover of “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls, and I’ve been listening to the City of Angels soundtrack from ’98 and crying ever since.

On Tuesdays, I see my therapist and she’s minutes away from my favorite doughnut spot in town, and One Paseo shopping center.

This morning, I had some bloodwork done (they took 14 vials!), so I needed that quarter of a Susie’s Blueberry Pancake doughnut (a collabo with my favorite cupcake spot in LA, Susiecakes). And both planters from Pigment at One Paseo. Get off me.

I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!

The Padres lost 10-2, but we stayed winning in Pammie’s company suite! (@ Petco Park)

Picnic in the park (@ Lake View Park)

All this birthday mama wanted was some adult time and some chicken in a muthafuckin’ biskit LOL! Nothing’s too good for our Shi ♥️

Best birthday dinner ever (@ Born & Raised)

Celebrated Chel’s birthday with the girls (@ Pop Pie Co.)

After Pammie shared her big news that she bought a new house over the weekend, Shi revealed that her only update was that she got a tooth extracted and was going through a mortgage refi—that’s two more things than I got going on! Ha.

Same time next season? (@ Petco Park)

Much needed social hour and frosé with my faves (@ Pacific Social)

Ditch day with my favorite 40-year-old at my favorite place (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

It took me four hours to drive from LA to SD this holiday weekend! The bestie is lucky I love BBQ her.

Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)

Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!

The girls and I got a lesson in self defense from Raquel at Stronghold this past weekend! Christine and Shi demo’d groin kicks while Pammie and I practiced our sticky glue – pancake – butterfly grips on the side! Ha.

Silently cheering so my neighbors don’t murder me.

Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing offbeat at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!

I literally just got back to LA, stepped out of my car and dropped my cali burrito from SD on the floor. This pretty much sums up 2020 for me.

Hosmer, baby! 💛

Can someone postmate me garlic fries???

I love that Christine’s birthday is so close to mine, especially when her husband throws her a surprise party at my favorite BBQ spot! (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

The girls gave me the best gift ever: music and travel! I can’t wait to see Tame Impala in Portland!!!

Thanks to Chel, Christine and the old man in a hawaiian shirt at the bar for buying me all those birthday drinks (and even more thanks to Alicia for picking my ass up and Ray for driving my car home).

When the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I was two burritos deep and lying on the floor at Alicia’s house. This is 38, guys.

I’m here for the garlic fries, beer and Eric Hosmer (in that order) (@ Petco Park)

Nothing says ‘Murica like BBQ and corn chips (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

I had to try my beloved beef rib el borracho style (as featured on DDD!) with my favorite borrachos this 4th of July weekend. Def could go easier on the queso, but I am here for this bed of corn puddin’ y’all!

Congrats to my favorite new first grader, Ari! (@ Pepper Drive Elementary)

I should’ve been less concerned about the dad with the swastika tattoo on his neck and more concerned about being in a classroom full of kinders for an hour, because I am full blown sick now, ya dang kids!

I lived in San Diego for 30 years, but this was my first time here! It’s worth the $18 entry fee, if only to get dole whip from the strawberry shack on your way out (@ The Flower Fields)

Jessie’s birthday BBQ (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

I missed pre-BBQ beers at Alpine because of stupid LA traffic, but I made it before they sold out of ribs this time! Can all my friends celebrate their birthdays here??? I would get on the 405 during rush hour for BBQ you.

Friends is Shi’s most favorite TV show ever, and Shi is our favorite bachelorette!

Shi chow-crowned an impressive amount of gummy dicks. Marry this woman already!

Don’t have to tell us twice (@ The Tipsy Crow)

This mechanical bull has seen better days, and so has my liver (@ Double Deuce)

It was so much fun partying like I was 21 again, but I spent the entire day in bed afterwards paying for it!

(Same time next weekend?)

—

Friends-themed food and drink ideas:

• Penis cake – “Emma’s 1st birthday cake”
• Cheesecake – “Chandler’s stolen cheesecake”
• Chocolate chip cookies – “Phoebe’s grandma’s cookie recipe”
• Quiche – “Monica’s finger nail quiche”
• Trifle – “Rachel’s Thanksgiving trifle”
• Charcuterie board with jam and crackers – “Joey’s uncircumsized deli meat” / “Monica’s jam”
• Crab cakes – “Ross’ free crab cakes”
• Chicken wings – “Monica’s bubble bath chicken”
• Sandwiches – “Joey’s ride along sandwich”
• Pizza – “George Stephanopoulos’ pizza” or “Ross and Rachel’s breakup pizza”
• Flan – “Rachel’s birthday flan”
• Chocolate torte – “Joey’s date’s chocolate torte”
• Lasagna – “Monica’s mom’s back-up lasagna”
• Mini muffins – “Ross’ basket of mini muffins”
• Salad – “Monica’s perverted salad” or “Rachel’s side salad”
• Punch – “Monica’s tiki death punch”
• Mac & Cheese – “Chandler’s righteous mac & cheese”
• Turkey sandwiches – “Ross’ stolen thanksgiving leftover sandwich (the moist maker)”
• Chocolate – “Monica’s mockolate”
• Assorted candies – “Monica’s little pieces of heaven”
• Fajitas – “Ross’ fine fajitas”
• Cups and ice – “Phoebe’s cups and ice”

Vendors/Supplies:

• Friends Cake and Cookies – Wednesday Cake
• Friends Bunting Banner, Food Signage, Shirts – Shashime Designs
• Friends Bridal Sash – Etsy
  
• Purple Balloons – Party City
• Oh Shit Kit – Amazon
• Drink Pouches – Amazon
• Chow Crown – Amazon
• Penis Gummies – Amazon

Welp, there goes my dinner plans (@ Grand Ole BBQ y Asado)

When they sell out of your beloved beef ribs, you just order everything else on the menu, right?

Birthday beers (@ Thorn St. Brewery)

I tell everyone I know that my favorite ice is the nugget kind they have at Sonic, and it was so thoughtful of Christine to remember.

The last time I brought sangria to her house, I asked her beforehand if she had ice, and Pammie was like, “Of course she has ice, she’s an adult!” and I was like, “But I never have ice at my place.” And she was like, “Exactly.” I mean. Who needs ice when you keep the vodka in the freezer???

The girls think this is what I sound like, and I ain’t even mad. Thanks for dinner, drinks, my new sound bar, and a much needed girls night! Love you b’s.

Today was a good day (@ George’s at the Cove)

Chargers playoff win. Bohemian Rhapsody takes the Globes. Parents’ 40th wedding anniversary. Amazing dinner and this view ♥

Happy early birthday to my favorite sister! (@ Monello)

FYI I can only eat pasta when it’s prepared tableside in a cheese wheel now.

She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time

Sugar, butter, flour (@ Civic Theatre)

Oh, my heart. Even though Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen won all the Tony awards, Waitress is my most favorite musical to date. It’s like how everybody loves Breaking Dawn: Part 2, but my favorite Twilight movie is New Moon, because it’s the saddest one where Bella was emo AF listening to Lykke Li and pining over the loss of Edward the entire time…

I mean what, I don’t know anything about teenage vampire sagas.

I’ll have one… one of everything! (@ BJ’s Brewhouse)

Alicia and I drank our way through their holiday cocktail list. The blood orange pom fireball sangria tastes like Christmas in your mouth! It’s def going on the menu for any and all future holiday spreads.

ILYSM (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

My most favorite BBQ spot in San Diego (and all of California) just opened a second location near the bestie’s house in east county. It’s bigger and less busy than its North Park flagship, and more importantly, it has a full bar (the original location doesn’t serve alcohol, but you can BYOB). It should def be on your BBQ bucket list! Also, if you don’t have a BBQ bucket list, how are we even friends???

See I know what we’ve got to do
You let go, and I’ll let go, too

L-Boogie up in here (@ Open Air Theatre)

I can’t believe I’m old enough for 20th anniversary tours, but the rough morning I had after getting home at 2am was solid proof!

This album soundtracked my junior year of high school, and hearing it in its entirety made me feel 16 again ♥

More videos here.

Breakfast Club (@ Flower Child)

My favorite girls met at an ungodly hour for breakfast so that the mamas could have extra girl time away from their six kids (four of which are twin babies!). I only had to worry about getting myself up in the morning, and I was still one of the last ones there! Ha. I haven’t laughed this hard in such a long time. No one will ever be as entertained by us than us ♥

Chino x Mike Shinoda 🖤

Came for a sandwich, but stayed for the pride parade (@ Ike’s Place, Hillcrest)

A few of my favorite things…

109° weather calls for frosé all day (@ The Pioneer)

The 4th of July fell on bottomless beer and lobster night this year (@ Viejas)

What a time to be alive.

Felicidades to my favorite 8th grader (@ Pepper Drive)

5 hours and 2 footsie wootsie massages later (@ San Diego County Fair)

Christine’s twin babies came early, so their big sister’s 2nd birthday party moved from Chuck E. Cheese to Denise’s backyard. No complaints here!

Can we just go on record and say that I’ve added a flat top grill, fire pit and pool to my list of must-haves for my future home???

Brunch with my fave girls (@ Breakfast Republic)

Quote of the day:

If Beyoncé can get cheated on, none of us are safe!

Shi will not rest, y’all! 😅

What sorcery is this??? (@ San Diego Civic Theatre)

My morning raclette (@ Venissimo – Liberty Station)

Were the tacos the best I ever had? No. But were the micheladas good at least? Still no. (@ City Tacos)

I should’ve known that this place was no bueno when I saw people drinking wine with their tacos, and the only mexicans eating there were the friends I came with.