Shi knows the worst parts of me and still thinks I’m a good girl 💛

KD’s first communion is coming up, so I got her this cute prayer box, an amethyst to bring her inner peace (she loves crystals just like her auntie), and a chocolate cross (because what 42-year-old 7-year-old doesn’t like chocolate?).

My sister’s husband sent me this IG reel of Coldstone’s new flavor – Going Bananas for JELL-O Pudding – because he knows I love, love, love banana pudding. We doordashed some, and it came with a free mix-in, so we added roasted almonds.

Me: Mmm, it’s good with nuts.
Pammie: See, even you like them.
Me: I only like nuts when they’re roasted. I don’t like it raw.
Pammie: Well, there goes your social life.

My sister is the most technologically challenged person I know (right behind my dad), and one time we were up at my apartment in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and my wifi wasn’t working, and she had like a million zoom meetings to attend that day. I’m like, “Just use your phone as a hotspot.” “What’s a hotspot?” she says. I showed her how to use her phone as a hotspot, and I’m like, “Welcome to the 21st century!” LOL

I have a wireless laser color printer in my room at my sister’s, and I’m at my parents’ house right now, so I asked her to print some pictures of my parents’ bathroom for their remodel. I was surprised she was able to figure it out on her own.

Another time, Shi was helping me with this wedding invitation order and she was using a corner punch to round all the corners. She was like, “All done!” I see a sharp, unrounded corner, and I’m like, “What’s this little guy?” We were at the cafe inside Borders, and we couldn’t stop laughing, we were so loud.

I woke up with a tickle in my throat. I’ve literally only gotten one cold since the pandemic, and I’ve never gotten covid. I used to get sick all the time, but that was when I would go into the office every day, and I’d pick up everyone’s germs. I don’t know how I got sick, when I don’t go anywhere or see anyone. Maybe one of my doordashers was sick LOL. Anyway, it’s raining, so I’m just gonna stay in bed all day if you wanna come be the big spoon.

Do you also love watching videos of dogs getting baths and haircuts, or are you normal? My favorite is this chill ass Shiba ♥️

Nori still goes into the office, so she keeps me updated on the food spots we’d go to for lunch. I miss going to the mall just to get Cinnabon 😅 Or walking by some skanky outfit at Forever 21 and asking Nori if she’d wear it for $3 🤣

Does anyone want to go to a Dodgers game to eat garlic fries in a helmet, Shake Shack, a doyer dog, hot honey chicken tenders, korean short ribs, chili cheese tots and a churro sundae in a helmet see Shohei Ohtani play?

• Lost Farm Strawberry Lemonade Gummies
• Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies Baked Snack Crackers
• Sugarfina Bunny Bark Milk Chocolate Bar
• Sour Punch Easter Straws
• Haribo Easter Happy Hoppers Gummy Candy
• Sour Patch Kids Easter Bunnies Theater Box
• Skittles Easter Original Candies Fun Size
• Starburst Easter Original Fun Size
• Peeps Easter Delights S’mores Chicks
• See’s Candies Scotchmallow Eggs
• Ghirardelli Easter Milk Chocolate Bunny
• Lindt Lindor Easter Assorted Chocolate Candy Truffle Eggs
• Lindt Easter Mini Chicks
• Dove Easter Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel
• Dove Easter Caramel & Milk Chocolate Flowers
• Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs
• Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Creme Bunnies Easter Candy
• Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Easter Candy Gift Bag
• Twix Easter Minis
• Snickers Easter Eggs Caramel Chocolate Candy
• Snickers Minis Milk Chocolate Easter Candy Bars
• Rolo Chocolate Caramels Easter Candy
• Kit Kat Miniatures Milk Chocolate Wafer Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Mini Bunnies Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Eggs Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Kisses Milk Chocolate Easter Candy
• M&M’s Easter Milk Chocolate Minis MegaTube
• M&M’s Milk Chocolate Fun Size Easter Basket Stuffers

I don’t observe lent, but I’ll use any excuse to make goodie bags and use this bunny filter 🐰

Hoppy Easter, y’all!

I won’t be happy ’till I’m with you
Home for me is where you are

I sent Shi this post on IG that made me think of her, and we were chatting about Us the Duo breaking up. I mean, I’m unwell, but def not as sad as I was when Michael Jackson or Prince died LOL.

Is anyone else set up like a Buffalo Wild Wings??? 🤣

I went to SDSU for a year before I went to art school, so I have a little bit of Aztec pride. Just a little bit, though. Most of my memories of going to state weren’t good ones LOL. SDSU is a party school, and I wasn’t about that Greek life. I could never find parking, so I bought a trolley pass because I worked at AAA at the time, and there was a trolley stop in their parking lot. I remember I parked one morning and was getting out of my car as the trolley was pulling up, so I missed it. I had to wait fifteen minutes for the next trolley. As I was waiting, I realized I forgot something in my car, and as I was walking back from my car, I missed another trolley and had to wait fifteen more minutes. I finally got to school, but the trolley dumps you in front of state, and the art department was all the way across campus in the back of the school. When I finally got to class, there was a note taped to the door that class was canceled. Son of a! 😅

Welp, I guess I’ll go back to working on my catalog comps 😅

Donna was telling us how she had the famous turtle soup at Commander’s Palace in New Orleans, and she told her friend (who loves turtles), and her husband was like, “Why would you tell her that?” and she was like, “Because the name of the dish is cute. Turtle soup.” And he was like, “You just told your friend who loves turtles that you just ate turtles.” She was like, “No, I didn’t. The description didn’t mention turtles. It said, ‘The authentic Louisiana favorite with veal fond, egg and crushed lemon. Finished tableside with a splash of aged sherry.’ I thought I was eating veal.” #1 I would never eat veal (I don’t eat baby animals LOL) and #2 it says ‘turtle’ in the name! She was like, “A lot of dishes have animals in the name, and doesn’t contain those animals.” I was like, “Name one dish.” And she couldn’t think of any 😂

We’re just over here eating our feelings 😮‍💨

I went with my parents to a showroom this morning because they’re remodeling their bathroom and wanted my opinion on materials. My sister’s husband was like, “That’s what you get for being so stylish,” and my sister was like, “Notice they didn’t ask me to come.” 😅 My sister’s the kind of person who buys the model home so it’s already fully furnished and decorated, whereas I’m really particular about what goes in my studio, and it’s just a rental. I tried three mattresses before I settled on one. I once made my family drive me to the West Elm in Solana Beach because I just had to have this mid century nightstand, and they were the only location in SoCal that had it in stock. Every year, I say I’m gonna enter Apartment Therapy’s Small/Cool Contest (my apartment’s only 450 square feet!), but the contest always happens when I’m really busy at work. And every year, when they announce the grand prize winner, I’m always like, “My apartment’s cuter than that.” When I helped my sister paint her last condo, we went to Lowe’s and she picked a color within minutes. I was like, “Wait, don’t you want to look at all these paint chips (for a few more hours)?” She was like, “Game-time decision, Mayan!” And I’m like, “I don’t understand your sports references.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, since they made me get up butt crack early, I had them stop by Mcdonald’s for breakfast. I was waiting in the lobby for my food, and this old lady hobbles over to this other old lady with her cane and asks her how she’s doing and I thought she knew her, but she asked her name and told her she had a beautiful smile. Then the other lady asked her how she was doing, and she said, “I’m alive and able to walk on my own two feet. It’s a beautiful day!” And I cried into my vanilla iced coffee and drank my tears 😭

Don’t mind my emo ass, I think I’m getting my period 😅

Update: The red devil is, in fact, in my belly. I’d stay away from this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days.

Pretty sure Thalia (my project manager) and I would be besties if we were back in the office (sorry, Nori LOL).

Am I old? 👵🏼 (Don’t answer that).

If you’re good enough, you’ll find a way
Maybe you could cause a girl to change her ways
Do you think about it night and day?
Maybe you could be the one to make me stay

I remember being at a concert with a boy I liked and waiting in line in the bathroom ruminating over all the bad decisions that led me to that moment LOL and wondering why I wasn’t enough for him and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was like, “You look really cute today.” And I thought, “If he can’t see that, then it’s his fucking loss.”

Anyway, sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you’re a bad-ass mother who don’t take no crap off nobody! 😅

(via @jordan_the_stallion8)

Just curious… Would you love me if I was a worm?

(JK, that’s not the question, and I already know the answer 🤣 but posting this in honor of the full Worm Moon tonight).

Me: Ooh, Native makes girl scouts cookies scented deodorant!
Pammie: Ew. Who wants their pits to smell like peanut butter???

This cute coffee shop opened within walking distance to my sister’s house, so I got up, put on a bra, and worked for my iced Mexican mocha this morning.

I couldn’t find the skull pan I wanted to use, but luckily I have two.

I only get to bust out my skull pan twice a year—Halloween and my morbid ass twin godchildren’s birthday (it’s a well known fact that chocolate cake tastes better when it’s shaped like a skull).

Happy 7th birthday, Dominic and Elijah! Ninang loves you weird little fuckers 💀🥳

I’m in an LA mood
I don’t wanna talk to you
She said, “Give me a day or two”
I go ’round and ’round
Satellite
Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in
I can see you’re lonely down there
Don’t you know that I am right here?

Chel wanted me to bring my glucose monitor so she can test her blood sugar at Jade’s 2nd birthday party (@ Tony Pepperoni Pizzeria)

We’re those people at family gatherings now, guys 😅

We got some merch at Justin Timberlake’s resto in Nashville to wear to his upcoming shows. We also got Christine (JT’S #1 fan!) a 12/30 Club bomber jacket that I might have to keep for myself, because this shirt’s kinda snug 😜

It’s a good thing I only watch Food Network. This dictate feature’s gonna get me in trouble one of these days 😅

I’ll just be here till September 5th 💚

I miss crying at the cemetery 🖤

Patrick Watson has a show tonight at the Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever, and I would totally go if I was back in LA…

Whenever my work signs a new athlete, I never know who they are. I only know who Tony Romo is because he used to date Jessica Simpson LOL. And who the Cleveland Browns coach is because he’s fine as hell 🔥 It’s a good thing I don’t play fantasy football, because I’d pick my team based on how cute the players are. Jimmy Garoppalo would be my QB, so I’d def be dead last 😅

Yeah, you know I was blinded by my heart
Sinking from the start
Should’ve never followed you this far
Now I’m in the deep end
And you let me drown
You didn’t even try to save me
You let me drown
You didn’t even try to save me
But sometimes
Sometimes I sit and fantasize
Maybe sometime in another life
We could’ve got it right, got it right

The more I listen to this album, the more I love it 🖤

Most of my friends are girl bosses who manage teams, but I have never had the desire to climb the corporate ladder. I don’t even like when our web director (whose name is Gaye) puts me in charge when she’s out because I’m the most senior designer after her. I don’t like having to tell people I’m Gaye 😆 I just want to do my 9 (ish) to 6 (ish) and be on my way…

This song came up on my spotify under “recommended,” and I’ve been laughing for a million years.

Big Brother 👀

(via @hella.basa)

Our next gathering is gonna be off the charts (in more ways than one) 👵🏻

I’m staying at my parents’ house right now, and as I’m eating my stupid oatmeal and working from home, my mom comes in and is like, “Can you doordash me and your dad some Mcdonald’s breakfast?” What a bunch of assholes 😆

I’m usually weary of places I travel to where I don’t see any other Asians, and even though I literally didn’t see a single Asian there (except the Koreans who worked at the Bowl & Roll at the Farmers’ Market LOL), everyone was so nice to us. I love that everyone said, “y’all,” and called me, “baby.”

Our airbnb was in East Nashville (or “East Nasty” as the locals call it LOL), and it was Dolly Parton-themed.

The SEC College Basketball Tournament was going on this weekend, so Broadway was packed. I didn’t know they called Nashville “Nash Vegas.” It was that lively, but much cleaner. Also, they have an open container policy like Vegas does (I saw a bunch of signs at the airport that guns weren’t allowed past the TSA checkpoint, so they must be open carry here, too). Someone spreading the word of the lord on a megaphone handed me a pamphlet on the street, but I was in a hurry on my way to Justin Timberlake’s restaurant LOL. Plus, I’m beyond being saved 😅

I heard you taste like cotton candy, baby, I’m just tryna see
I heard you wanna leave with me, if so, I do agree
You heard that I could get your body where it needs to be
Uh, look, you have no idea
But if you’re really curious

I promise that the real thing
It’s better than your imagination

JT’s new album came out this weekend, so it was only fitting we hit up his restaurant (@ The Twelve Thirty Club)

The food was amazing. The rooftop bar had bubble machines. The girl singing in the live band sounded like she could be a recording artist.

The drink I ordered was called the Basic AF Mule LOL.

If I were to ever move to Nashville, I’d live in the 12South neighborhood. It reminded me so much of North Park, where every craft house had a porch, and everyone had a dog.

We spent Saturday morning here. We had coffee and biscuits with chorizo sausage gravy at Frothy Monkey, donuts at Five Daughters Bakery, cookies at Christie Cookie Co (they supply the DoubleTree Hotel with all their chocolate chip cookies), and did our own walking tour of all the murals.

We did the Chef’s Choice menu and loved everything (@ Butcher & Bee)

My favorite dish of the weekend was the Avocado Crispy Rice, but everything they brought out was sooo good. This restaurant was also across the street from our airbnb, so we were able to walk there and roll ourselves home.

IDK if it’s because Asian don’t raisin, but I got carded everywhere I ordered a drink. This drunk girl at the table next to us was talking to us at dinner because she said she and her sister were the only ones drinking in their group and she thinks her friends were tired of them LOL. She was in her 20s and refused to believe we were in our 40s, so Donna showed her a picture of her 26-year-old son, who Donna had when we were in high school. That girl thought Donna’s son was cute (his dad is half white and half filipino and looks mexican, so his buddies call him, “Chino” 😆) and coincidentally lives in the same town her son lives in. She was like, “Tell him to go to Hawkers and I’ll take care of him!” Ha. Thanks for making me feel so young, Nashville 👧🏻

Self-care Saturday.

After dinner, our 42 and 43-year old asses were tired after being out all day (we woke up at 6am!), so we went back to the airbnb and did some Korean face masks and under eye patches.

A great way to show me you know nothing about me is to invite me to watch the sunrise at the butt crack of dawn 😆 There were two other couples at this lookout point watching the sunrise, and I was like, “Never once have I gotten up this early to watch the sunrise with a boy, let alone two married women.” LOL. They’re both super type A, and I’m really disorganized and not a morning person. My old coworker and dear friend is also type A, and we got along swimmingly. She never minded that I was so messy. She once told me, “You make concessions for the people you love.” 🥹 So I will get up at the butt crack of dawn for the people I love LOL. But I will not use packing cubes or fold my panties. That’s where I draw the line 😆

Donna loves Husk in South Carolina, so she said we had to try the one in Nashville, and it didn’t disappoint (@ Husk)

She also made all of our reservations, and everywhere we went, she told them we were celebrating my birthday 🥳

I’m just here for the kettle corn. And the baby goats. And the grumpy dwarf rabbit named Tito (@ Lucky Ladd Farms Tulip Festival)

I don’t usually like Indian food, but I couldn’t go to Nashville without trying one of Maneet Chauhan’s restos (@ Chauhan Ale and Masala House)

Maneet is a staple on Food Network, and she even won season 2 of Tournament of Champions (her TOC belt was at the resto!). I ordered the Tandoori Chicken Poutine which was life changing. Pammie’s favorite dish of the whole trip was here—Lamb Korma. As a rule, I don’t eat baby animals (just adult animals who have lived a full life LOL), so I didn’t try it, but it’s their most popular dish.

We spent our last night in a Dolly Parton-themed bar on top of the Graduate hotel (@ White Limozeen)

It probably wasn’t a good idea to do champagne jell-o shots when I had a 6am flight the next morning, but when in Nashville, darlin’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Till next time, Nashville ✌🏼

Even though I ate everything I wanted to, I didn’t get a single high glucose alert on my phone. It’s because we did so much walking. My calves burn with the fire of a thousand suns, and I’ve been rubbing massage oil into my legs since we got back. My sister and mom get notifications when my blood sugar is too high, so having sore stems was worth not getting hassled about what I’m eating.

My sister’s husband picked us up from the airport, and he was like, “You look fatter. Not your body, just your face.” I’m like, “Uhh, thanks?” #1 How dare you? #2 I’m the skinniest person in this car #3 I will punch you where I stand and #4 I would never tell someone they looked fatter, even if they did. If anything, I would lie and say they looked skinnier, even if they didn’t! Excuse me while I go starve myself and cry into my green juice and drink my tears.

Nashville’s only two hours ahead, but I’m still jetlagged as fuck for some reason 😅

Justin Timberlake – Pusher Love Girl

Hey little mama
Ain’t gotta ask me if I want to
Tell me, can I get a light?
Roll you up and let it run through my veins
‘Cause I can always see the farthest stars when I’m on you
I don’t wanna ever come down off this cloud of loving you

I’ll just be here if you need me 🫠

Me: (looking for my Original Berf shirt that fell out of my overstuffed suitcase)
Donna: Do you use packing cubes?

Do I look like I use packing cubes? Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to 😆 I am who I am, guys (and that’s disorganized as fuck).

Donna sent me this video, and I told her my nostrils will be flaring five seconds into this 30-day plank challenge she’s convinced us to do while on vacation. I was able to last a full minute last night, partly because I was resting on my elbows, but mostly because I didn’t want to look like a little bitch! Ha.

Also, I’ve been up since 6am this morning, because my sister and Donna both work today, and Donna’s work day starts at 7:30am North Carolina time, which is 6:30am Nashville time, which is 4:30am pacific time (3:30am if we’re counting daylight savings!). She was like, “Just go back to sleep,” but I can’t sleep once everyone’s up. Plus, I’m one of those people who only need a few hours of sleep and I’m fine. Pammie was out till after midnight with her coworkers last night, and she is hurting this morning getting ready to meet these same people who are all probably still hungover.

I’m just over here bright eyed and bushy tailed about to take a shower and doordash some Biscuit Love. It’s nearby, so I was gonna walk my ass over there, but it’s raining today and the sun hasn’t even woken up yet 😅

When in Nashville (@ JW Marriott)

I doordashed some hot chicken, because Pammie’s at a work event and Donna’s flight doesn’t come in till later tonight. Hot meat in a hotel room? I’ll take it…

Nashville, we out here ✌🏼

My sister’s been here for work all week, and Donna is meeting us from North Carolina, so I flew solo. My family was really worried about me traveling by myself, since it’s my first time since the stroke. It’s like when I moved to LA, and my grandma wanted to come with me so she could teach me how to cook LOL. Maybe I should’ve taken her up on her offer, because she’s no longer with us and I still can only cook like five things 😅

I had a whole plan to enjoy a farmhouse breakfast sandwich from Einstein’s, but I had a different gate and had to get a stupid bagel and schmear from Peet’s instead. At least their ice machines were working this time, so I was able to get an iced latte.

I checked my bags since I checked in so late (on my last flights, they ran out of bin space by the time the C group boarded) and because I didn’t have anyone to help me lift my carry-on into the bin LOL.

Partly here for foodwithmichel’s comments, mostly here for… other reasons.

I’m always C-group status when I’m traveling by myself 😅 Oh, well. Now I don’t have to worry about my luggage and boarding early. I’ll just make friends at the airport bar while I wait.

Kolohe Kai’s gonna be at the Del Mar Fair this summer. Does anyone want to go??? I used to not like Hawaiian music, but I had such a good time in Kauai, and my paradise playlist has been on rotation ever since. Plus, my friend would always listen to Hawaiian radio when I worked in the office, and every time I’d go to her office, a Hawaiian version of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” would be playing, and I’d be like, “Is this our song?!” 🤣

Welp, I guess none of us won 😅

I still regret not buying those thigh high silver boots for Beyoncé’s last tour.

This fringe cape is from Nasty Gal and these boots are from Forever 21 (yes, I know I’m 42). I just googled “disco cowgirl” for this lewk 🪩🤠

Hello, old friend (@ Grossmont Center)

I went here today to get my eyebrows threaded, and Super Brows is still here, but Rosie (who used to thread my brows 20 years ago) isn’t 😅 I also used to work here with my ex’s sister Sheryll at Afterthoughts in our twenties. Our coworker pierced our cartilage one night with the piercing gun, and mine was fine, but Sheryll’s got infected. She ended up getting this huge growth that had to be surgically removed. I remember she named him “Wilbur” 🤢 Ahh, memories…

Donna is a planner, while I’m more of a “let’s keep the day open so whatever happens happens” kinda girl. She has planned our itinerary down to the minute so we can do everything we wanna do and maximize our time there. Including 7am plank challenges 😅 I tried to tell her that that’s 5am pacific time (4am with daylight savings!), but she’s really gonna make us work for that Nashville hot chicken…

And the reason es tú

I was listening to Hoobastank on Spotify LOL and came across this Latin version of The Reason! I used to think the mark of a good zumba class was if they played Pitbull or Marc Anthony, but I would go fucking loca if they played this song 🤪

When in doubt, blame daylight savings…

(via @grubwithgreg)

A few people sent me this reel of this new BBQ spot in OC. It looks so good, but I haven’t had BBQ since it made me sick in NYC my birthday weekend 😅 I wanted to check Peg Leg Porker off my BBQ Bucket List in Nashville next weekend, but I don’t want to ruin the trip by getting sick again…

A few people also sent me this reel of this Corgi Cafe in the Philippines. Do my friends know me or what??? Also, I need that corgi butt bread.

As I was getting ready to go out today, I was like, “Michael Myers or Horror Movies?” Pammie’s like, “Are those my only options?” 😆

IDK why I’m single when I have such a great rack t-shirt collection.

Pammie was telling me about some up and coming young NBA player who knocked up some video vixen from Basketball Wives LA twice his age who already has two kids with two different baby daddies, and her oldest son is the same age as her current boyfriend.

I googled her, and was like, “She looks puffy. She should get a lymphatic massage.” And Pammie was like, “She needs to do some gua sha.” LOL we’re haters 😆

When we were in Arizona, Pammie was doing her gua sha routine at the hotel, and I was telling her about this video I watched of Dove Cameron’s skincare routine where she does gua sha, but I was so high, I forgot why I was talking about Dove Cameron’s skincare routine halfway through my story, so I stopped and was like, “Why am I talking about Dove Cameron again?” 🤣

Phoenix TSA confiscated her rosehip oil that she does gua sha with, because they said it was over the liquid limit. They even tested my mucuna powder, because they thought I was trying to sneak some cocaine on the plane. I’m like uhhh, don’t check the rest of my luggage, that’s where the real drugs are 😅

Update: Donna, who’s obsessed with K-dramas and BTS, says she would totally get with Jungkook (BTS’ youngest member), but he’s only a year older than her son. I’m like, “What about the fact that you’re married?” 🤣

Lately, I’ve been inundated with people asking for help for their kids’ fundraisers. Jog-a-thons? Gift wrap?? Cookie dough??? I’m about to create a gofundme so these same people can help fund my upcoming vacations for all I’ve donated 😅

Joke’s on you—I’m off this Friday 😜

I can’t even look at Jack Black without thinking of my friend, Jay 🤣

Extreme is playing the Ryman in Nashville next weekend when I’ll be there LOL. I’d rather see Jack Black doing covers…

Deftones are playing a music festival in Spain when I’ll be there, but I’ll be 8 hours away from Barcelona that day. I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it, but I love going to concerts when I’m traveling 🖤

Donna was a bad influence on me when we were kids, and it looks like she’ll still be a bad influence in the afterlife! Ha. If my sister and I were running late to class in high school, we’d skip first period and hang out at Donna’s apartment instead (I have never once gone to lockout. I guess this is why when I was late for work when I used to work in the office, I would text Nori, “What do you want from Coffee Bean?” 😅 What’s a few more minutes if I’m already late…). Donna dared me to jump off a cliff into the kids’ pool at the resort we were staying at a few years ago in Hawaii. She jumped first, but she’s also a foot shorter than me! I’m pretty sure my tailbone is still at the bottom of the keiki pool, you guys.

When I die, I just need someone to clear my browser history and play Young the Giant at my funeral.

• Lost Farm Watermelon Gelato Live Resin Fruit Chews
• See’s Candies Dark Mint Scotchmallows
• Jameson Irish Whiskey
• Girl Scout Thin Mints Cookies
• St. Patrick’s Day Chocolate Candy Variety Pack
• Andes Creme De Menthe Thins
• Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops
• Furikake Chex Mix

Who needs luck with all this charm? Just kidding (give me all the luck!).

Since I know Donna loves chocolate (so much so that she had ‘HERSHEY’ emblazoned on the back of her dance sweater in middle school, while my sister had ‘BABY LONELINESS’ LOL. I wasn’t in dance—I was still traumatized from the time I played the glow-worm in our class production of James and the Giant Peach in the second grade and had to wear a turquoise leotard in front of the whole school and pretend light was coming out of my butt), and I’m seeing her next weekend (she’s meeting us in Nashville), I made a St. Patrick’s Day goodie bag for her 💚

…in case anyone else didn’t know what ‘PAWG’ stood for.

This tracks. I used to drive down from LA to SD, and every time I’d fill up at the gas station before heading down, I’d pick up a Ham and Swiss Lunchable (plus a bag of Hot Fries and an Arizona Green Tea. And if I had any cash on me, a Powerball lottery ticket). I hate pumping gas (I always wait till the fuel gauge hits “0 miles” before filling up), but I love gas station food LOL. We stopped at the gas station to fill up before going to my sister’s house from my parents’ house, and I was like, “Do we need snacks?” and she was like, “This ain’t a road trip! It’s a 10-minute drive.” 😅

Last year, we we’re poppin’ bottles, and this year Jessie is poppin’ baby bottles. But I sent her some champagne, so she could still pop some adult bottles.

When Jessie was still looking for a surrogate, I was like, “I’ll carry your baby. You can live in the casita, and my pregnant ass will stay in the main house with your husband.” Needless to say, she went with a surrogate in Bakersfield instead 🤣

Happiest birthday, bb! Also, please don’t talk to me till I’ve had my morning coffee ☕

Since they’re not bringing people around the baby till he’s had all his vaccines, we instacarted her some champagne, sent her balloons from Party City, and are gonna doordash her some lunch later. Last year, we were celebrating her 40th birthday downtown and I was throwing up in the bathroom (it was the first time I drank after the strokes). How quickly things change around here…

I tell myself you don’t mean a thing
And what we got, got no hold on me
But when you’re not there, I just crumble

When I worked in the office, my office was next to my boss’ office. She would hear all the sad music I’d listen to through our shared wall and be like, “Is everything okay?” LOL. Occasionally, she’d pop in to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my mouse cord (just kidding, my mouse was wireless). Since she knew I loved depressing music, she introduced me to this song years ago, and it recently came up on my spotify 🖤

My sister is the smartest person I know, but I had to explain to her what happened in Waco and who Groucho Marx was (not Richard Marx’s brother LMAO).

File under: Shit I will never google.

IDK why my dad has so many batteries. When I need one, I just take it out of my smoke detector 😅 Considering I’ve almost burned down my apartment, I should probably take some of these batteries home…

Feeling under the weather on this rainy day 🌧️

Please don’t put gasoline on your baby’s private parts after he gets circumcised 😅

OK, I can start my day now 😅

Crosses played the Van Buren last night, so I’ve just been watching videos all morning ✌🏼

This is like when I first started at my job, and my boss was like, “Show it to Loren, the art director.” And I was like, “Where does she sit?” and she was like, “Loren’s a guy.” And another time, she was like, “Ask Jamie.” And I was like, “Where does she sit?” and she was like, “Jamie’s a guy, too.” And then another time, she was like, “Give it to Deane.” And I was like, “Where does he sit?” and she was like, “Deane’s a girl.” When she told me to show it to Christina, another art director, I was like, “Is Christina a man?!” 😆 God forbid I use the wrong pronoun when addressing you 😅

I have a flight to Nashville from SD the next morning, so a concert the night before in LA isn’t ideal, but I will rally if I win ✊🏼 Christine will be my +1, partly because she’s the biggest JT fan I know (she had a JT-themed birthday party when she turned 30 LOL), but mostly because she can drive my ass to LA (my sister will be out of town for work that week).

What in the Indecent Proposal? 🫠

I was hoping Christine’s husband wouldn’t notice my text talking about how much effort it takes to put a bra on 😅

Deftones are gonna be at Coachella this year, but as much as I love live music, I think I would hate going to that festival. I remember a group of girls from my work went the year Tame Impala headlined, and I asked how Tame Impala was when they came back, and they were like, “Who???” 🙄 People just go to this festival to be seen and wear cute outfits…

My friends’ husbands know entirely too much information about me 😅

I promised I wouldn’t blog about the rest of our gchat, so I’m just gonna leave this here 😆

I ask all the important questions!

I got assigned two catalogs this conference season.

BRB crying.

OK, France is forgiven for this moment 🇫🇷 🤣

🖤

Say hello to my new best friend 😭

I’d be this happy, too, if I was doing skin-to-skin with Jessie’s husband LOL.

Luckily, we live in a state where IVF is still protected instead of backwards-ass Alabama where the practice is threatened after a recent court ruling (and abortion is also banned!). After Jessie survived breast cancer, her surrogate got pregnant with her and Abe’s very last embryo, so Isaac is truly a miracle baby 🥹

Congrats to the new parents!

Jesus 😳

This rainy weather is domesticating the fuck out of me.

I made some chicken soup, banana nut bread, and even walked on the treadmill while watching the Game Show Network. I don’t even know who I am right now. My mother? Yikes 😬 Someone get me this Rifle Paper Co. x Hedley & Bennett Apron from Anthro to complete the look.

Things I found in my old room at my parents’ house:

My Girl Scouts vest. I would always forget who was hosting the meeting every week, and would have my dad drive me to the wrong house 😅 (Was it Amanda D., Amanda E., or Amanda W.’s house?! JK, my sister’s troop was the one with all the Amandas). I don’t remember how I got any of these patches, or that chili pepper pin, and I def don’t remember being a junior aide. Is this my sister’s vest? LOL.

My P.E. shirt from high school. I think I was wearing this the last time I did the sit and reach.

Old uniforms. I had a lot of jobs before I became a graphic designer! My dad made me get a job when I was 15, and I’ve been working ever since.

My Hoobastank shirt LOL. I wish I found this before I went to their 20th anniversary show a few months ago!

A magazine from June 2000 with *NSYNC on the cover. I just posted about Justin Timberlake last month. I haven’t changed.

An old checkbook from 2005.

A bar on a weeknight and jello shot accoutrements??? I used to be fun…

Update: I posted my Hoobastank shirt to my IG stories, and Hoobastank liked and reposted it 🤩

I’m not worried about where you are
Or who you go home to
I’m just thinkin’ about you

I had tickets to see Harry Styles, but they rescheduled his tour because of covid, and I opted for a refund instead. He played 15 sold-out shows in LA, and I didn’t go to a single one of them. It has been my #4 regret in life ever since (#3 is running into Milo Ventimiglia at an otherwise empty NYC subway station in 2005 and not asking him to father my children. Don’t ask me what the first two are—I’m taking them to my grave!). It’s raining today, so it’s a good time to bust out this album and ruminate over all of my life regrets.

(via @tinydicebuddies)

I’ve tried snowboarding thrice now and each time I somehow did worse than the last 😅 And this was before the stroke, so my balance is way worse now. I’ll just stick to charcuterie boarding, thank yew.

My parents are dogsitting this stage 5 clinger this weekend.

They’re opening a Common Theory within walking distance to my sister’s house. I was wondering what they were gonna put in this space, because we saw them wheeling in commercial stainless steel tanks one day on our walk. It’s right next to David’s condo (David is this asshole dog that barks at me whenever I walk by his balcony. IDK his real name, but I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed someone (the dog’s pawrents had a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL). Anyway, now I can get my steps in before drinking my weight in beer 🍻

Update: My sister walked by Common Theory to see if it was open and David was on his balcony wearing a pink ass collar. He might be a she! My whole life is a lie.

I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. I once won a Survivor pool without watching a single episode and almost won a March Madness pool at my work (I had the #1 bracket up until I lost the final game) even though the boys had to explain to me what a seed was 😆 I’ve also joined and won several biggest loser challenges (the only thing I lose is pounds!). Anyway, when Chel suggested we keep ourselves accountable by tracking each other’s daily steps using the Nike Run Club App, I was wary at first. My mom and sister already follow my blood glucose monitor readings (they granted themselves access while I was sick, I would never allow such an invasion of privacy otherwise), so they get notified if it’s too high and hassle me about what I’m eating. I’m just like, this ain’t social media. Stop following me! Let me eat this Crumbl cookie in peace 😅

My sister and her husband are in Vegas, so I’m at my parents’ house on squirrel watch 👀