I sent Melissa O’Neil (my favorite actress from The Rookie) a birthday gift last July. I mailed it to the studio they film at (Paramount) right before SAG went on strike. They started filming again this week, and they held onto my package all these months and left it in her trailer! She posted this to her stories and called me TREASURE, y’all. I can die now.
All Chel wanted for her birthday was to paint some pumpkins, sip some cocktails and slurp some ramen (and a sexy chef to make us dinner, but I couldn’t provide that).
I refilled the punch-a-bunch for Darien and the twins who also coincidentally love Halloween, BBQ and being naked.
I accidentally dropped my still-wet pumpkin towards the end of the night, so not only did I ruin Chel’s warm palette vibe, I also ruined her patio table and area rug underneath it with neon green paint! She says she was getting rid of the table and rug anyway 😅
We’re having a paint and sip night for Chel’s birthday this weekend, and my Beetlejuice pumpkins don’t really fit Chel’s warm palette vibe 😅
Is this like when Lindsay Lohan didn’t know that Halloween was the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and was the only one who showed up at that party in a scary costume in Mean Girls? 🤣 Am I about to DJ Lo & Behold this party???
I’ve been looking forward to having Grimace’s birthday meal all week, but the Mcdonald’s nearby stopped selling it already (I had a to do some bloodwork today, so of course I got a cheeseburger and fries afterward).
My sister’s mother-in-law once joked that she was gonna steal the honey dispenser from the restaurant, so I got her one for her 70th birthday (along with a Kate Spade purse that’s big enough to hide the honey dispenser if she still wants to steal it).
Nori and I would frequent this taco shop when we had lunch every day for work, and even though we’d almost always go to Starbucks after, sometimes I would get this Mexican rice pudding that was just hanging out there in the fridge, begging me to buy it. Nori doesn’t like milky things LOL, so she would just watch me eat it, but today is her birthday, so I made some and thought of her. I miss my friend! She really helped me out after I got sick and checks in all the time ❤️🩹
Jessie knows everyone at Callie since she goes all the time! We met the head chef, Travis (thanks for sending over those complimentary fish collars), saw pictures of the manager’s cute pittie/corgi mix, Gravy, and wished the host well (he’s getting married next month!). Such a great experience, and the food was sooo good!
I love that even when we’re in the four corners of the world we still find time to check in (yes, LA, SD, Vegas and AZ are the four corners of my very small world.) Happy 40th birthday, bb! Thanks for all the yummy grain-free treats you’ve sent my way (even though I eat them with half a cinnamon-raisin bagel) and for teaching me how to play dominoes (even though I beat you). I will watch Physical: 100 with you (because you like K-Dramas, but I also draw the line at commentary LOL). Callie soon!
Belated birthday post for this supreme slice! We celebrated Chel’s birthday with a backyard pizza party. Are these ovens allowed on apartment balconies in LA??? Asking for a friend.
Even though I usually try to let my birthday pass without much fanfare, this past week has been a reminder that life should be celebrated.
I got to have drinks with my almost birthday twin Christine, who was the second of my dearest friends to be diagnosed with breast cancer last year. It’s the first time I’ve seen her since she had her surgery last month, and I was so grateful to have her here with us, healthy, happy and cancer-free.
Shi wasn’t able to attend my birthday dinner because her husband was exposed to covid the day before and she wanted to be safe. Life has taken a 180 since this pandemic started two years ago, but I’m glad that anyone I know who has gotten covid has recovered from it.
While enjoying birthday macarons at Bottega Louie, a man sitting at the bar next us passed out. Initially, I thought he was drunk (it was late at night in DTLA, after all), but he was having a medical emergency. He came to for a second before slipping out of consciousness again and sliding onto the floor. The girl who was with him started doing chest compressions as he lay lifeless on the ground, and I stood there horrified. An ambulance arrived, and I left there completely traumatized. He couldn’t have been older than me, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since.
All that to say, life’s too short to be worrying about my ebbing youth and unfulfilled timelines of where I should be at this point in my life. I’m lucky to still be here and am looking forward to more trips around the sun with you guys ❤️
When your mom visits you for your birthday, unexpectedly stays an extra few days, and has to borrow your clothes LOL.
My birthday was in the middle of the week, and I fully intended on working from home and saving the festivities for the weekend. Pammie and my mom had other plans, though. They were only supposed to stay for the day, but I guess they were having too much fun to go back home to SD! And even though my mom kept finding things to clean (even though I spent the entire day cleaning before they got here), and my sister had EIGHT zoom meetings a day that I had to be quiet for, I loved that they spent my birthday week with me at home in LA.
Celebrated Chel’s birthday with the girls (@ Pop Pie Co.)
After Pammie shared her big news that she bought a new house over the weekend, Shi revealed that her only update was that she got a tooth extracted and was going through a mortgage refi—that’s two more things than I got going on! Ha.
I ordered the bestie a tata towel as a gag for her 40th birthday. It was delivered earlier this week and has been sitting in my apartment lobby for days now. Had I known how indiscreet the packaging was, I would have picked it up sooner LOL!
Pammie surprised me with BBQ from my favorite spot in Texas, and I didn’t even have to wait in line for hours to get it!
The first time I ate Franklin Barbecue was years ago on a trip to Austin City Limits. It was day-old brisket reheated in a hotel microwave, but it was (and still is) the best BBQ I’ve ever had.
Drive-by shots with the birthday girl, Christine! She sent everyone home with tall boys and 40s in paper bags. I was going to take my drinks back to LA, but my dad was like, “Leave the malt liquor… I used to drink that when I lived in Oakland.” My bad, gangsta!
So good seeing my favorite girls, if only for a short, socially distant while, with half of our faces covered in Christine’s driveway. I can’t believe it’s been a year since we’ve all been together!!!
39 is staying in, binging Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time, eating your favorite pastrami sandwich and cookies from NYC, and finding joy in vacuuming all of your crumbs with the dream dyson you just got for your birthday (I’m clearly going hard this last year in my thirties).
I love that Christine’s birthday is so close to mine, especially when her husband throws her a surprise party at my favorite BBQ spot! (@ Grand Ole BBQ)
The girls gave me the best gift ever: music and travel! I can’t wait to see Tame Impala in Portland!!!
Thanks to Chel, Christine and the old man in a hawaiian shirt at the bar for buying me all those birthday drinks (and even more thanks to Alicia for picking my ass up and Ray for driving my car home).
When the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I was two burritos deep and lying on the floor at Alicia’s house. This is 38, guys.
I missed pre-BBQ beers at Alpine because of stupid LA traffic, but I made it before they sold out of ribs this time! Can all my friends celebrate their birthdays here??? I would get on the 405 during rush hour for BBQ you.
I tell everyone I know that my favorite ice is the nugget kind they have at Sonic, and it was so thoughtful of Christine to remember.
The last time I brought sangria to her house, I asked her beforehand if she had ice, and Pammie was like, “Of course she has ice, she’s an adult!” and I was like, “But I never have ice at my place.” And she was like, “Exactly.” I mean. Who needs ice when you keep the vodka in the freezer???
The girls think this is what I sound like, and I ain’t even mad. Thanks for dinner, drinks, my new sound bar, and a much needed girls night! Love you b’s.
We airbnb’d it in OC for the weekend. I live half an hour away from the park, but my place doesn’t have enough room for seven people. Or a bidet. Or a ping pong table (my dad and his “Beer Friends Forever” shirt were the clear winners of this match).
Everything’s better with mouse ears! Also, the best flavor at Nothing Bundt Cakes is white chocolate raspberry. Fight me.
My mom had the time of her life on the teacups! She was a lot less enthusiastic about Space Mountain, but she still got on it against her 60-year-old body’s wishes. Ha.
Obligatory castle shot with Pammie and our mouse ears!
Minnie was excited to greet the birthday girl!
Pops was even more excited to meet Minnie! We were about to take a group shot when my dad jumped ahead without us. My bad, solo pic!
The holiday fireworks were truly magical. Cue the fake snow and real tears of joy. Till next time, Disneyland!
Happy birthday to my beautiful mom! When she came up to LA last weekend to see Bruno Mars again visit me, she came out of my bathroom with condoms from my medicine cabinet and said, “Hey, these expired a month ago!” What would I ever do without her (besides accidentally get pregnant)?
Can’t wait to celebrate 60 years young at Disneyland this weekend ♥
Intense backyard bingo sesh at my grandma’s 87th birthday bash. The pot grew to $200! I should’ve known my jar of laundry money wouldn’t cut it with these broads…
I felt like an old lady after thirteen hours at the park and one rough ass ride on the matterhorn, but then I got carded and remembered that I’m still the paragon of youth.
Six of us were supposed to vacation in Portland, but new jobs, broken water heaters, half marathons and trips to Japan got in the way. Anthony and I obviously have nothing else going on in our lives, so the two of us spent our birthday weekend traveling the pacific northwest without those clowns!
One thing I love about Portland (and pretty much any other city besides LA) is the public transit system. You can get anywhere by light rail, street car, train or bus! The light rail took us straight from the airport to our hotel downtown for $2.50 (I’ve paid nearly $40 for a cab ride to LAX, and I only live 5 miles away!). What I also love about Portland is the food. OMG, the food. They are known for their food trucks, and our hotel was a couple blocks away from a group of like 20 or so of them at Alder Food Carts. I’ve been wanting to eat at Nong’s ever since I saw her on Chopped, and it was the first of many good meals we had that weekend.
Friday was Anthony’s birthday, and he wanted to go to McMenamins Kennedy School for drinks. It used to be an elementary school, but they converted it into a hotel/brewery. We had drinks in the boiler room, and I got sloppy hoping Jordan Catalano would show up to no avail.
Our friend Mark lives in Portland, and we met up with him for some late night eats at Biwa. He took us to some hipster bar called Bar Bar afterwards where we met some of his designer friends. Apparently, there’s a lot of job opportunities up there! Something to consider while I’m sitting in LA traffic…
Saturday was for snoozing. We slept in and hit up the farmer’s market around noon. When we couldn’t find the Pine State Biscuits booth, we decided to have lunch at Lardo, but not before having some pre-meal crepes at C’est Si Bon. The crepes were a mistake. And so were the donuts that followed at Blue Star. We somehow rolled ourselves back to the hotel and were in a food coma for the rest of the rainy afternoon. Everyone in Portland was watching the Seahawks playoff game, and we slept through half of it.
When we woke up, Anthony left to work out at the hotel gym, and I ventured out on my own to see the Portland Stag Sign without telling him. It’s no secret that I get lost easily, so he decided early on that he would navigate and I was to stay at his 8 o’clock at all times. I tried to take the bus by myself, got off at the wrong stop and found myself in BUMSVILLE. I eventually found my way back to the hotel, but not before Anthony returned from the gym. He was just coming to terms with the idea that I had been abducted when I walked through the door with a bag of hot cheetos and this photo. He was not amused.
I passed by Voodoo Doughnut on my way back. This bum in front threw his half eaten donut on the ground and started following me! I barely escaped with my life.
We had drinks at Whiskey Soda Lounge while we waited for our table at Pok Pok that night. FYI if you’re only going to Pok Pok for their famous wings, you can skip the wait and get them at Whiskey Soda Lounge instead. Or if Portland is too far, you can come visit me when they open a Pok Pok LA this spring 😉 It definitely was everything the internet promised it would be.
Sunday was probably my favorite day, and we didn’t even spend it in Portland! We took an impromptu trip to Seattle and did every touristy thing we could fit into five hours. We ate clam chowder at Pike Place Chowder (and pre-meal empanadas at El Mercado Latino), dodged fish at Pike Place Fish Market, visited the first Starbucks, tested our gag reflex at the Gum Wall in Post Alley, went to the top of the Space Needle, and rode the Great Wheel. And this is where I found out this foolio is afraid of heights. The proof is in the video.
After spending six hours on the train that day, I showered back at the hotel before we met up with Mark and his friends for drinks at Dig a Pony. If I knew we were going to end up at a strip club later that night, I would have waited to shower afterwards! Ha. Apparently, Portland is the strip club capital of America, and no trip is complete without visiting one. Anyway, here are some dollars that Anthony let some girl pick up with her tits while we ate tater tots. No bigs!
Monday was my birthday and our last day in Portland. We had a bloody mary brunch at Tasty ‘n’ Sons, beers at Hopworks Bike Bar, doughnuts at Voodoo Doughnut, and coffee at Stumptown. I was really sick that day (Was it all the public transportation or was it the strip club? Who really is to blame???). I’m still sick two weeks later, so it’s taken me a while to get my life together and update this thing.
When we got back to Anthony’s house that night, Pammie and Christine came over with birthday burritos from Lolita’s! It was a great end to what Anthony refers to as “the time of my life.” He wishes!
Happy 55th birthday to one crazy broad! At her birthday dinner last weekend, our waiter thought that my mom was my sister. He also didn’t card me when I ordered my vodka. #1 How dare you? (I have the face of a goddamn minor!) #2 I hope I look as young as my mom does when I’m in my fifties!
