mayanrocks.com » birthdays
Disneyland.
Sunday, February 9, 2014

disneyland

Where the churros at???

Grow.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

grow where you are planted

Good advice from the birthday girl who gave me this print last Christmas ♥

Girls.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013

girls season 3 premiere

Looks like I’ve locked down my birthday plans for 2014! Just kidding. The Golden Globes are also on that night.

Happy birthday, Pammie!
Monday, December 16, 2013

someecard birthday

You celebrate your own birthday on someone else’s birthday one time, and no one ever lets you forget it! Ha.

Thunder From Down Under.
Thursday, November 7, 2013

thunder from down under mom chat

Happy 55th birthday to one crazy broad! At her birthday dinner last weekend, our waiter thought that my mom was my sister. He also didn’t card me when I ordered my vodka. #1 How dare you? (I have the face of a goddamn minor!) #2 I hope I look as young as my mom does when I’m in my fifties!

Birthday Brunch.
Sunday, October 20, 2013

birthday brunch lafayette hotel

Happy birthday to my favorite hipster ♥

U.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013

robert

Happy Birthday, Baby!
Saturday, June 29, 2013

darien and anthony

Happy 2nd birthday to my favorite chumbawamba!

Uncle Anthony says that you color like how Auntie Mayan drives (how dare he!), but keep coloring outside the lines, kid… Life’s more interesting that way ♥

Sloppy.
Sunday, February 10, 2013

birthday shots

Back to the scene of the crime! Birthday shots at Bub’s with the birthday girl last night. It felt good to be home ♥

Dirty One.
Sunday, January 13, 2013

whisknladle la jolla san diego

Dinner and drinks at Whisknladle with my loves last night! 31 feels a lot like 30.

Scroll.
Sunday, December 16, 2012

someecards birthday old

Happy birthday to the oldest 32-year-old I know! Love you, Pammie ♥

the mindy project josh caitlins iphone

Brunch.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012

prep kitchen little italy

Chel’s birthday brunch at Prepkitchen last Sunday!

(Photo courtesy of @instapammie—I was too busy getting served by Anthony to take any pictures! Ha.)

This is Krumping.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping
community krumping community krumping

I have exactly one week to learn these dance moves before my grandma’s birthday party.

Just so you know.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012

today i thought of you and not much else

Old Poway Park.
Monday, July 16, 2012

kids birthday baseball theme

Chel‘s parties are always pinterest-worthy, and Darien’s first birthday was no exception! Old Poway Park is an awesome place to have a kid’s birthday party (preferably if your kid was born between the months of October and May—I was sweating like a whore in church!).

Batter Up.
Friday, July 13, 2012

vintage baseball theme invitation kids party

Here’s a baseball-themed birthday invitation I designed for my favorite little slugger ♥

More from my design portfolio here.

Happy Birthday, Baby!
Thursday, June 28, 2012

the office jim halpert face - karen dwight imitation

Happy 1st birthday to my favorite chumbawamba!
Your Jim Halpert impression is flawless, kid ♥

Old Whore.
Saturday, June 9, 2012

you just went from whore to old whore - bluntcard birthday

Happy 30th birthday to the dirtiest sanchez I know!

Welcome to the club, old whore ♥

The Rocket.
Saturday, April 21, 2012

rocket dual beer bong

My ex invited me to his birthday party next weekend where he plans to resurrect the infamous rocket. I’m pretty sure I left my beer bonging days where I left my ex-boyfriend… in 2005 where they belong!

May the odds be ever in your favor.
Saturday, March 24, 2012

happy hour - hunger games

Million dollar margaritas with Trace last night! Happy birthday and happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor 🙂

The Boot.
Saturday, March 10, 2012

christine and jessie - el camino little italy

Christine and the birthday girl before she got kicked out of El Camino last night! Happy birthday, Jessie!

29!
Thursday, March 8, 2012

new girl schmidt 29

Happy 29th birthday, Gus (that’s short for “Me gusta Jess!”). Enjoy your last year in your twenties! After this, it’s all darkness. Ha!

Welcome to your nightmare.
Sunday, January 15, 2012

dirty 30

Since I didn’t instantly turn into a little old troll under a cave when the clock struck midnight on my 30th birthday, I abandoned my original plan to hide under my bed all weekend and celebrated instead:

  • Pink champagne to toast my dirtieth at work, courtesy of my boss
  • Pammie’s CMYK balloons made my little design nerd heart race
  • European Cake Gallery cake with a message from Gloria from Modern Family! Ha. It was just as good as last year’s message from the cast of Saved by the Bell.
  • Pizza and beer at Blind Lady Ale House to celebrate Anthony’s, Christine’s, and my birthday week! The only sausage I had that night was the chorizo on my artisan pizza, Shirley May =P
  • Moscow mules at El Camino and a Seau sighting at Lucha Libre with Christine, Pammie and Jessie
  • I made a wish on my creme brulee and practiced my indoor voice at Donovan’s for Restaurant Week with Pammie, Chel and Shi.

I made it through my 30th birthday relatively unscathed with a little help from my friends and a lot of liquor 😉 Thanks for a great weekend, loves ♥

“I hope you I made your bday wish come true.”
Monday, January 9, 2012

happy birthday anthony rios

Dear Anthony,

Thank you for taking me out for beers on your birthday. I was one beer away from jocking you hard into a half mouth kiss. LOLOL. That’s so ugly. My stomach hurts from laughing all night. You really are a beacon for lost souls, if only my own. Happy birthday, friend!

Oh, cruel world.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

anthropologie birthday discount

Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I’m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a “family” frame (for the husband and kids I don’t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.

If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.

3:18 PM Jesse: so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist
  me: i hope you have your gat strapped
3:21 PM Jesse: if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed
  me: can i have your white elephant gift if you don’t come back?
3:22 PM Jesse: of course
Happy birthday, Pammie!
Friday, December 16, 2011

happy birthday gift tag craft paper twine diy

Awesome gifts come in awesomely designed packages 😉

Doomsday.
Monday, December 12, 2011

you only get 10 years to be in your twenties

I officially have one month left to make some bad decisions. Where did my life go???

Happy birthday, Jesse!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011

post it prank

Happy birthday to my BFF at work! I didn’t come in an hour early to post-it bomb just anyone’s desk 😉 My appreciation for you runs deeper than your secret love for Hootie and the Blowfish. And I think we both know just how deep that is. Ha!

!!!
Sunday, October 23, 2011

young the giant - hometown holiday benefit show

My favorite band on my favorite sister’s birthday in my favorite sister’s city?!

excited gif

Roll Bounce.
Sunday, October 16, 2011

skateworld san diego

To celebrate Chel’s 30th birthday, we went to Skateworld to roll bounce the night away! Just kidding. We only skated for an hour, if that. My nearly 30-year-old body was winded after a few laps. Ha.

Just so you know.
Sunday, July 24, 2011

just so you know you made my day today

For one of the most refreshingest mothas on the planet…

31 is the new 21.
Sunday, July 24, 2011

jay poopin

Happy 31st birthday to Jay, a dear friend who was dirty long before he was thirty. He also thinks that 31 is the new 21. Please don’t encourage him…

Just a cake.
Thursday, June 9, 2011

bluntcard birthday rum cake

Happy birthday, Skokie!

Dignity.
Sunday, April 10, 2011

pleasantville reese witherspoon

At Alicia’s dirty thirty last night, I realized that A) I should just automatically assume that every guy who pursues me is in a relationship (as my ongoing track record suggests) and B) maybe I shouldn’t have worn leggings. I can’t even tell you how many people grabbed my ass! I went home alone last night and I’m not gonna lie, I feel pretty good about not having to take a shame shower. I don’t care how hot you are (or how drunk I am), some guys just aren’t worth the trouble… I may have woken up this morning with dollar bills in my bra and a serious hangover, but at least I still had my dignity!

This must be how Reese Witherspoon felt in Pleasantville when she started reading books and stopped being such a whore.

Blasphemy.
Thursday, April 7, 2011

chez nous san diego spicy chicken melt special salad

Going to Chez Nous and not getting a spicy chicken melt is like going to Outback and not getting steak. Today, I did both.

My coworker’s husband brought me a fruit salad for lunch instead of my usual spicy chicken melt, and for a delicious second, I thought that the nectarine strips were fries. After work, I went to Outback for Alicia’s birthday dinner and ate grilled fish while everyone (including the 7-year-old sitting next to me) ate steak.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

29.
Thursday, January 13, 2011

ra sushi and 30 seconds to mars

Things I loved about my birthday:

  • Sushi at Ra
  • 30 Seconds to Mars show with the girls
  • Celebrating my 29th with Christine’s 30th!
  • The 188.9 miles Pammie drove to spend my birthday with me
  • Jessie remembering that I don’t like buttercream frosting
  • The laptop desk that Shi and Chel gave me (and the way its microsuede cushion feels on my bare thighs)
  • The 1×2" MS Paint printout of my gelaskin that’s arriving in the mail
  • The lotto scratchers that Jay gave me and the whopping $14 I won off of them
  • The Amazon gift card that Jessie and Christine gave me and the four pounds of protein powder I bought with it
  • The dominant homeless woman on 5th Avenue
  • The voice mail from my favorite Mexicans singing me happy birthday
  • Shi singing “Viva Las Vegas”
  • Officer Dick

One year left in my twenties, ya’ll. Hope it’s a good one!

Picture of a bike.
Friday, December 17, 2010

Happy 31st birthday to my old friend Jed, the only person who replied to my Craigslist ad about my dining set:

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

I was interested in your dining set and was wondering if you were interested in trading for any of these items:

  • Box of Rubik’s cubes. Unopened box of 12. (Stolen)
  • 20 Lbs. of frozen chicken. (Not worth too much, can be combined with anything else.)
  • Picture of a bike. I had this bike last year and sold it. Comes in .jpg format.
  • Maxim magazine with Lindsay Lohan on the cover. I just don’t find her attractive.

I can also offer 80 bucks but it’s in confederate money. I don’t know if it’s still good.
E-mail me back here. I can pick up anytime today.

I’m still waiting for my picture of a bike. In .jpg format.

Happy Dirty Thirty, Pammie!
Thursday, December 16, 2010

welcome to your nightmare ha ha ha ha modern family halloween gloria witch

Happy birthday, Mom.
Sunday, November 7, 2010

mom birthday

You told me I was just like you the other day, and I can’t think of a better compliment ♥

Obey SB.
Saturday, October 9, 2010

obey phil tayag swaggerboy jabbawockeez

Happy birthday to Phil of @THE_WOCKEEZ and @KNGDMmusic! See you at MUS.I.C in November with @pammie1216, @itschristinebp and @Raepinky16! OBEY SB!

Happy birthday, Gerald.
Friday, September 3, 2010

Happy 30th birthday to my dear friend, Gerald. You once bought me these Paul Frank pajama pants I had been eyeballing for Christmas, and I’ve never been able to wear them, because you thought I was a size smaller than I was (which was a gift in and of itself). You were the only one brave enough to teach me how to drive a stick shift, and you were patient with me even after I burned your clutch. You trusted me to watch your fish while you were deployed, and you didn’t hate me when he died. You’re the coolest navy seal I know, and wherever you are in this world, I hope that you’re safe, drinking a Monster, eating some Mike & Ike’s, and reading this wondering why you’re still friends with a person who burned your clutch and killed your fish.

Happy birthday, Rocky.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010

He’s usually a riot when it’s not his birthday. Maybe he has something against party hats?

rocky birthday puppy

(Rocky’s 4th birthday, 2009)   (Rocky’s 5th birthday, 2010)
Pretty Kitty.
Sunday, August 1, 2010

I’ve made cupcakes for a few of Kristin’s parties, so she asked me to make a Hello Kitty cake for her niece’s birthday. I can make cupcakes in my sleep, but I’ve never actually baked and decorated an entire cake before. I decided to make a practice cake first, just in case I was in over my head.

hello kitty cake

Isn’t this a pretty kitty? (That’s what she said.) Too bad this cake won’t stay fresh till next weekend! I’ll have to make another one on Friday, and now I’m left with a Hello Kitty cake that I’m not going to eat… How weird would it be if I showed up at my uncle’s retirement party with this thing?

Notorious.
Monday, July 26, 2010

Jay has a tendency to turn his birthday into a month-long extravaganza, but this year he only subjected us to two outings (shocking!). The girls and I are notorious for disappearing during his birthday celebrations every year, and he’ll never let us forget the time we left in the middle of his party for frozen yogurt at Yogotango. Or dinner at Friday’s. Or dinner at The Spot. This year was no different.

irish angel cake

This Irish Angel (chocolate cake layered with Bailey’s creme brulee) was totally worth the shit Jay’s going to give us for leaving The Office again this year when he sees the pictures we took of us eating at Heaven Sent Desserts on his camera 😉

At some point.
Saturday, July 24, 2010

there isn't a day that goes by where i don't at some point think of you

Dirty Thirty.
Saturday, July 24, 2010

[showtime width=435 height=326 transition=fade rotationtime=2 transitiontime=1 transitionease=none autoplay=on fullscreen=off scale=noscale showcontrols=on showtext=off showalt=on shuffle=off bgcolor=#FFFFFF]

Things I love about Jay:

  • He was the first boy who asked me to a high school dance via AOL circa 1998 (there are so many things wrong with this sentence).
  • He dresses up as a girl every Halloween.
  • He’s more proud than embarrassed about the night that he sharted in public.
  • He knows all the lyrics to Debarge’s “Rhythm of the Night.”
  • Even though I’m horrible at returning his phone calls, he still considers me one of his dearest friends and treats me like one, too.

Happy birthday, love. See you tonight for your aptly titled “Dirty, Flirty, Hurt Me 30” party!

Birthday cake.
Friday, July 23, 2010

bacon chocolate cake riviera supper club and turquoise room

Jay’s bacon chocolate birthday cake at The Riviera Supper Club!

(App: Hipstamatic / Lens: Kaimal Mark II / Film: Ina’s 1969)

Happy birthday, Skokie.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010

skokie shocker

Happy birthday to my dear friend, Skokie! Five years later, and you haven’t changed much. You’ll always be my favorite Mexican. Love you, friend ♥

Today (and every day).
Tuesday, April 20, 2010

i curse the day you were born

¡Feliz cumpleaños, Alicia!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010

happy birthday alicia

I googled “happy birthday alicia” and these are the images that came up! Haha. Happy 29th birthday to my favorite Mexican. I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you today, but I hope these googled cakes will suffice until we meet again (soon, I hope). Love you mucho, cabrona ♥

Happy birthday, Trace.
Saturday, March 27, 2010

mayan and trace

Happy 25th birthday to my dear friend, Trace. No matter how long it has been since we’ve seen each other, we always pick up right where we left off ♥

The One Where Shi Turns 29.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Happy birthday to my heart twin, Shi. I love you like I love walking around in my chones. And when you come over, I love you enough to put on some pants.

(image via flickflickflicker)

Infectious.
Sunday, February 7, 2010

cups la jolla

Pammie, Chel, Shi, Anthony and I (the Choadorios!) hit up Pho Cali and Cups for Shi’s birthday. No matter where we are, we always end up being that table—the loudest one in the restaurant. Sorry if we’re just having more fun than you… Vietnamese noodles and cupcakes aren’t exactly fine dining, so learn to love our obnoxious infectious laughter and keep cool, my babies. My stomach hurts from all that laughing. Or maybe it was from those two cupcakes I ate. Or the breakfast burrito I had earlier… Get off me.

Pity party, table for one.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I know I have you guys, but—and really, I hate myself a little for saying this—but it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me. No special guy to wish me happy birthday. No goddamn soul mate. And I don’t even know if I believe in soul mates.

– Sex and The City

Up until four years ago, I had a boyfriend to wish me happy birthday every year for nearly a decade. I’ve had dates, relationships and what have you over the past few years, but no amount of smizing, hair flips or threats could make them stick around for my birthday. Maybe it’s those crazy wish lists I come up with, I don’t know. I hate how I let this one thing I don’t have affect all the things I do have. I’m so lucky to have such great friends and relatives. I received over fifty birthday greetings via text, Facebook and phone. But the truth is, everything could be going great in my life and none of it would matter if I didn’t have anyone to share it with.

This year was no different. Il Postino knew it was my birthday. He knew. He asked his sister where she was taking me for dinner that morning. I wish she wouldn’t mention me at all around him. I’m almost certain that if we didn’t have her to keep us connected, we would’ve let each other go a long time ago. I never ask for anything. All I wanted was to be acknowledged. He couldn’t even bring himself to—at the very least—leave me a Facebook message wishing me a happy birthday in the most informal way he possibly could. His complete disregard for me stings more than the leopard print body pillow his mom gave me for Christmas.

But in spite of all that, I saw him again last night. I didn’t bring up my birthday. I didn’t bring up the fact that we haven’t spoken since the meteor shower. Disappointment is an emotion I’ve gotten used to wearing around him. He never apologizes for anything, with the exception of that one time last summer—and even that felt like it was court-ordered. I live for these sort of movie moments. That’s all I have with him. Just moments. It’s the reason why I never argue with him. Because no matter how bad it gets, I always come back. So why ruin the moment? When I see him, it’s understood that we revert to the way things used to be between us… when everything was beautiful and nothing hurt, if only for one night. Or maybe I’ve misunderstood all along. Maybe these moments have been meaningless from the start.

I’ve realized that nothing will ever make him sure of me—not the fact that his family adores me, not the familiarity of my lips or the way my hand always fits perfectly in his, not the SpongeBob DVDs I gave him for Christmas that he didn’t bother to acknowledge just like my birthday, and especially not the fact that for reasons I can’t explain, I’ve always been so sure of him.

Birthday Recap.
Monday, January 18, 2010

mayan birthday

Thanks to everyone for a memorable birthday! I just wanted to keep it simple with no frills… I don’t need to celebrate my growing spinster status! Pammie, Shi and Chel treated me to Extraordinary Desserts last weekend. We tried the Chocolate Strudel, Lemon Bar, Strawberry Shortcake, Raspberry Linzer Danish, Strawberry Crumb Cake and Matcha Green Tea Lattes. Don’t judge us! The girls gave me a gift certificate for a massage at Chiropractique! I hadn’t even posted my birthday wish list yet, and they already knew what I wanted. I guess I talk about my love for massages that much! Maybe I should start talking about my love for bearded Mexicans who drink beer and watch football—oh wait, I already do 😉 There’s always next year. Haha. We somehow rolled ourselves over to the theater to watch Leap Year after all that yummy dessert. I loved it, just like Il Postino told me I would. Le’sigh.

On Monday, I went to happy hour with Jay and some JCP folk. Always a good time and good laughs with these people! Jay gave me a gift certificate to Chef City so I could load up on restaurant supplies. I think that’s a hint for me to start looking for a new apartment so I can go back to hosting food nights at my place! Just like the time he gave me that cupcake cookbook… I’m sure it was more for his benefit than my own! Haha. I still love you, friend 🙂 Anyway, I drowned myself in margaritas since I was off the next day. It was quite the nightcap—I was in bed by eleven. I’m getting so old!

I took the day off for my actual birthday. I always do, even if I have nothing planned. Having to work on your birthday is all kinds of unholy. Kind of like eating meat on Good Friday. Or going commando in another man’s fatigues. It’s just something you don’t do! Pammie had some fruit truffles delivered to my house from Edible Arrangements! Best sister EVER! The BFF, Ray and the kids took me out to dinner at Phil’s. They told one of the employees it was my birthday and she had the entire restaurant sing to me! Mortifying. At least I got a free t-shirt out of it. As if I wasn’t embarrassed enough, I sat in the front seat of Ray’s Green Machine while he bumped reggae music on the drive home. Haha… I’m kidding, Ray. I love reggae and your freakishly small car—I can’t speak for your family squished in the backseat, though. Il Postino’s mom left me a gift at the their house. She’s such a sweetheart. It was a tea collection complete with a jar of honey and an adorable beehive-shaped wooden honey-stick thing. Perfect for this gloomy weather we’ve been having!

I was in the middle of taking pictures of my favorite munchkin with my new camera when my dad texted me that I had a package at the house. Who would send me a package in the mail? And an even bigger question—since when does my dad know how to text message? I texted my sister and asked her if she sent me anything. She said she didn’t, but that I should go to the house and see what it is. I wondered if Skokie had sent me something since he asked me for my address the weekend before, but the last thing I remember him buying me was a Costco hot dog for my birthday six years ago. Haha. Not likely. I hadn’t seen the BFF since before Christmas, so I told myself I would just check it later.

Half an hour goes by and Shi texts me, “GO HOME.” The girls surprised me at my house with a “Nothing Bundt Drama” red velvet cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes! Are those bitches trying to tell me something? Haha. I love, love, love these girls.

No one attracts cholos the way I do.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Run Into Flowers:

To one of my best friends and cousins, Mayan, Happy Happy Birthday! No one else can foretell the future like you do, do graphic design like you do, attract cholos the way you do, or wear bathing suit bottoms like you do. I love you!

raechel tejidor

Slowly, But Shirley:

Heart twins…

bosom buddies

It’s just how we roll =)

sexified

No one knows my heart like you do, love! Happy Birthday Mayan! Love you!

Birthday Wish List.
Sunday, January 10, 2010

wish list 2010

Is it weird that Il Postino’s mom gave me a leopard print body pillow for Christmas? How does that woman know I’ve been sleeping alone? A boyfriend arm pillow would’ve been more obvious, but I’m picking up what she’s putting down!

Between the holidays and moving, I didn’t have time to make a Christmas wish list like I usually do. My birthday is in a few days, so I’m posting one anyway! As I was making my list, this 13-year-old asks me, “Do you REALLY think your friends are gonna buy you this stuff? Most of it costs over $200!” Shut it, kid! It’s called a “wish” list. Not a “things-I-can-afford-to-buy-myself” list. I mean, seriously… what do kids learn in junior high these days? I could really use more practical stuff like gift cards to Target, Walmart, Costco or Arco… but where’s the fun in that? On to the list…

Happy birthday, Kristin.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009

chocolate peanut butter cupcake

I made chocolate peanut butter cupcakes for Kristin’s birthday last night. It took me three trips to the grocery store—I don’t know where my head’s been lately. I had too much vodka fun at her birthday party. It’s a good thing my coworkers were too distracted by the leftover cupcakes I brought them to notice all that fun seeping through my pores this morning.

Happy birthday to my dear sister.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009

pammie birthday

Happy 29th birthday, Pammie! No one looks out for me like you do. If anyone ruined your birthday, I would ruin their life. I’m glad you loved our birthday surprise!

Happy birthday to my favorite kindergartener.
Saturday, November 28, 2009

She’s only the coolest 6-year-old I know. I had to make her some cool cupcakes:

hannah montana cupcakes

Happy birthday, Chubbs.
Sunday, October 25, 2009

chubbs photo booth

Happy birthday to the sweetest 13-year-old I know.

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