mayanrocks.com
Above and Beyond.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I was totally prepared to go home and google a youtube tutorial on how to change the dead bulb in my headlight, but the guy at O’Reilly Auto Parts went above and beyond and fixed it for me. I thought he offered to help me because I went there straight from the gym and my ass looks phenomenal in yoga pants, but after reading their yelp reviews, it sounds like it’s customary for them to go out of their way to help! Ha. Especially when a clueless girl comes in and says, “My headlight went out in my Matrix… Do you think I need, like, a light bulb or something?”

STD.
Sunday, April 29, 2012

vintage wedding save the date tracee lorenzana gary wyer

I designed this simple save the date for my dear friend Trace and her fiancé Gary ♥

More from my design portfolio here.

Creep.
Sunday, April 29, 2012

Dat F sharp.

Cookie Dough Brownies.
Friday, April 27, 2012

cookie dough brownies

I baked these cookie dough brownies for my boss’ baby shower at work today. I don’t plan on eating any of them, but I’m sure I gained 3 pounds just thinking about it.

Also, I’m skipping the gym tonight. This has nothing and everything to do with brownies, but I mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.

Sandwiches and Sex.
Friday, April 27, 2012
new girl sandwiches and sex new girl sandwiches and sex

Sandwiches and sex? I want that.

Nick Miller is my soulmate.

Fingers Crossed.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Is it just me, or does everyone else’s room get a little dusty whenever they watch google chrome commercials?

No Excuses.
Monday, April 23, 2012

a one hour workout is 4% of your day - no excuses

Considering I just spent 100% of my weekend being a fatass, spending 4% of my day at the gym was a small price to pay! Now excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep out of hunger. I didn’t get my ass handed to me during kickboxing for nothing!

modern family cam crying gif

Sports Fish.
Sunday, April 22, 2012

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

– Steve Harvey, Think Like a Man

Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.

I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

The Rocket.
Saturday, April 21, 2012

rocket dual beer bong

My ex invited me to his birthday party next weekend where he plans to resurrect the infamous rocket. I’m pretty sure I left my beer bonging days where I left my ex-boyfriend… in 2005 where they belong!

Outdoorsy.
Friday, April 20, 2012

someecard - i'm outdoorsy in that i like getting drunk on patios

The Dear Hunter – Home
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/10-the_dear_hunter-home.mp3]

I was listening to FM 94/9 broadcast live from Coachella on the drive home from work today when I heard The Dear Hunter for the first time and thought… why am I not at Coachella again???

I think it’s partly because I thought Outside Lands would have a similar lineup, but mostly because I don’t like camping outdoors and not showering for three days.

Hotel next year, anyone?

Bloop.
Friday, April 20, 2012

nene real housewives of atlanta

9:15 AM me: she was talking about real housewives
  and she was like
  if nene would just stop talking for one second
9:16 AM Jesse: wait a second
how do you know who that is and how you spell that name
  me: um, i think i read it somewhere on the interwebs or something
sometime………….
9:17 AM Jesse: you should be ashamed
Distance.
Thursday, April 19, 2012

I’ve eased up on the concerts lately to save money for that trip to Outside Lands! Now that I’m not going anymore, I regret not buying tickets to see Jason Mraz & Christina Perri. They still have tickets available, but none of them are in the pit!

There are two things you should know about me:

  1. I don’t do nosebleeds.
  2. I always find a way to score awesome seats. Even if I have to sleep outside a Ritmo Latino to get them. Just kidding. I haven’t done that since I was 17.

Christina Perri feat. Jason Mraz – Distance

How long can we keep this up, up, up?
And I keep waiting…

Outside Lands 2012.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012

outsidelands 2012

After Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza and Coachella announced similar (amazing!) lineups, I was sure Outside Lands would follow suit. Never have twelve syllables hurt me so much to say, but NOT EVEN YOUNG THE GIANT COULD SAVE THIS LINEUP! I should have went to Coachella. At least I would have seen Radiohead. And Tupac’s hologram. Boo whore.

In other news, Incubus and Linkin Park are touring together, and their last show is here in SD! My 19-year-old self is punching the air in excitement.

Spicy Shrimp Fried Rice.
Saturday, April 14, 2012

skinny spicy shrimp fried brown rice

Today, I got off Pinterest long enough to actually make this Spicy Shrimp Fried Rice recipe that I pinned, and I managed to do it without burning the house down!

I don’t even know who I am right now.

Happy Hours.
Saturday, April 14, 2012

drunk text

Last night’s happy hour turned into eight hours of sangria swirl margaritas at La Puerta, sake snow cones at Gaijin, beers at Blind Lady Ale House, and vodka at The Ould Sod.

I def won’t be drinking tonight… or maybe ever again.

Unacceptable.
Friday, April 13, 2012

someecard publicly unacceptable work

…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!

Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.

God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.

Dumped.
Thursday, April 12, 2012

adam levine hot tattoos

Adam Levine’s supermodel girlfriend dumped him and his delicious beard ten days ago, and I’m just finding out about it now???

Clearly, I’m following the wrong people on Twitter.

DRTY MXN.
Thursday, April 12, 2012

dirty mexican license plate

I may or may not have followed this guy home after work today.

Open Flame.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012

we're all drawn to the warmth of a true connection, but don't stand too close to an open flame; someone will surely get burned. - revenge

Mediocre.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.

The Wrong Place.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

Via Slowly, But Shirley:

the office stress relief pam

He said that you told him how much you love me.

About how you feel when I walk in a room.

About how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.

And I guess he had never felt that way with my mom, even at their best.

There’s usually a scene in all my favorite shows that never fails to get me all choked up… like this scene from The Office where they explain how Jim’s feelings about Pam is what caused Pam’s dad to decide to leave her mom. Sometimes getting a taste of how things should be makes you realize you’re in the wrong place…

Resurrection Sunday.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

I wanted to have red puffy paint blood dripping from the easter eggs, but I thought the bloody zombie bunny was morbid enough for my favorite 8-year-old. Maybe next year.

zombie easter basket

Christ promised a resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something different in mind.

– Hershel, The Walking Dead
Sad trail.
Sunday, April 8, 2012

someecard we are so hilarious

Quote of the night:

Nobody needs to see your belly button trail, happy or sad!

I finally had dinner with my favorite b’s last night! It’s so hard to get everyone together when we’re all so busy planning imaginary weddings on pinterest taking care of babies, studying for CPA exams, training for marathons, playing soccer, and testing “social experiments” 😉 Some of us don’t even have time to shower! LOL!

Good Friday.
Saturday, April 7, 2012

brunch the mission - french bulldog

I usually try to go hard on my days off, but I just ended up going to the DMV, having brunch at The Mission, playing with my favorite frenchie, and calling it a night at 9:30. What has my life come to?

Promise.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

happy endings dave and penny

DAVE: You might not meet not somebody tonight, but you will meet someone.
PENNY: You promise?
DAVE: Yes… as long as you promise to stop slobbering all over the champagne.
PENNY: I can’t promise that.

Titanic.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

thaitanic

2:28 PM Jenni: we need someone to reenact the titanic pose for our facebook contest but no one wants to!
  why dont you and jesse do it? 🙂
2:30 PM me: absolutely not
Spirit Animal.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

fat cat rolling on back

12:23 PM Jesse: one of my cats at home will eat until it throws up
  me: your cat is my spirit animal
Summer.
Monday, April 2, 2012

bluntcard beer a bitch

This pretty much sums up my summer plans.

Boyfriend.
Monday, April 2, 2012
2:18 PM me: tell me why i love that bf song
  dammit biebs
  you got me
2:20 PM Pamela: he sounds exactly like JT
  me: i mean whyyyy is it not on spotify
  i have to listen to it on youtube like a savage

Justin Bieber – Boyfriend
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Justin Bieber – Boyfriend.mp3]

April Fool’s.
Sunday, April 1, 2012

someecard april fool's pregnant

Half of my facebook friends announced their pregnancies today.

Way to steal my thunder, bitches.

Wedding Season.
Sunday, April 1, 2012

idntfd edgar sarmiento tweet

Why else would I be working out on a Sunday morning?

I’m so happy that all my friends are getting married this year, I’m not even jealous. Except for at night when I’m in my closet eating ice cream alone.

emma stone crying ice cream

Sweats.
Saturday, March 31, 2012

never leave the house in sweats

I’m screwed.

Skinnygirl.
Friday, March 30, 2012

skinny girl margarita - someecards skinny booze

It’s hard to binge drink and still mind your calories. I was hoping that Skinnygirl Margarita would bridge that divide, but I’m pretty sure it was made to test my gag reflex!

new girl spit

The Kerkovich Way.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex
happy endings lunch alex happy endings lunch alex

Alex Kerkovich is officially living my life.

GPOY.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

happy endings alex ribs

GPOY.

Regret.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012

phils bbq office lunch

I instantly regret wearing jeans instead of leggings to work today. How can I stuff my face with Phil’s BBQ when my clothes are so binding?

Deal breaker.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012

you're cute but you don't like bacon someecard

This is pretty much how I approach telling someone that we can never be together.

The Gamemaker.
Monday, March 26, 2012

wes bentley - seneca crane

Fuck, I love me some Seneca Crane. Any chance those were non-toxic berries at the end of the movie?

Wake up, slut.
Monday, March 26, 2012

happy endings - wake up slut

Is it 5 o’clock yet?

Hike.
Sunday, March 25, 2012

torrey pines hike - baby darien

My calves burn with the fire of a thousand suns after this beach hike with the girls, but it was worth it to hang out with this baby pancake ♥

Quote of the day:

What are you supposed to wear to this kind of thing?

Chel hasn’t worked out since before she was preggo, but she’s still skinnier than the rest of us! Boo whore.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
Saturday, March 24, 2012

happy hour - hunger games

Million dollar margaritas with Trace last night! Happy birthday and happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor 🙂

Friday.
Friday, March 23, 2012

zebra running man animated gif

3:14 PM Jesse: this friday is lasting foreverrrr
3:15 PM me: i’m just gonna watch this zebra doing the running man for the rest of the day

Oh, sweet jesus… there’s a video.

Eyes Wide Open.
Friday, March 23, 2012

Glass Pear – Eyes Wide Open
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Glass Pear – Eyes Wide Open.mp3]

Don’t you, don’t you let go
Tell me it’s not too late

Change.
Thursday, March 22, 2012

ombre hair stylist business card

I rarely get my hair cut, and the last time I dyed my hair was when I wore brown chola lip liner in the 90s. Since then, I’ve come to the realization that I’m not, in fact, a chola, and I’ve kept my hair naturally dark, long and boring for the past decade.

I recently designed business cards for Trace, and she offered to cut and color my hair for free! I’m long overdue for a change. And since I can’t afford to buy a jaguar like Anthony did to signify change after his breakup, a free hair cut will have to suffice! Ha.

Feed.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

webstagram instagram feed

My Instagram feed exposes my obvious love of booze, fine dining, and other people’s babies.

Unfinished.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012

unfinished himym

ROBIN: I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn’t exist. It just… ended. And, no matter how much I try to forget that it happened, it will have never not happened. Don and I will always be a loose end. We will always be—

TED: Unfinished. Gaudí, to his credit, never gave up on his dream. But that’s not usually how it goes. Most of the time it’s just too difficult, too expensive, too scary. It’s only once you’ve stopped that you realize how hard it is to start again, so you force yourself not to want it. But it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be…

The Big Spill.
Monday, March 19, 2012

water broke

4:42 PM me: what happened by the water cooler?
  it looks like somebody’s water broke over there
4:43 PM Jesse: c’mon man!!!

Sometimes I feel bad for Jesse because he’s one of the only dudes in the office… but then I remember that he gets to work with me, and I don’t feel bad for him anymore! Ha 😉

St. Paddy’s Day.
Sunday, March 18, 2012

tiger! tiger! beer margarita

St. Paddy’s Day doesn’t usually register as a blip on my radar, so I intended on having a low key movie night instead… which turned into beers with Shi and Anthony at Tiger! Tiger!… followed by house margaritas at my house… followed by me waking up on my bathroom floor (not pictured). So… just another Saturday.

Scrabble Typography.
Thursday, March 15, 2012

scrabble typography limited edition

scrabble typography limited edition

I’ve got such a boner for this limited edition of Scrabble Typography. Does the thought of getting a triple word score using multiple fonts make anyone else’s heart race? Also, what’s wrong with me?

Avenged.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012

jesse chat kill

crying face troll meme - this is why we're friends

Walker.
Monday, March 12, 2012

someecard - if i ever had to run for my life i would probably die

Some friends of mine are running this zombie infested 5K obstacle course race. I’ve done 5Ks before, but this pretty much sounds like the makings of my worst nightmare!

In related news, I’m all caught up with The Walking Dead. What am I supposed to do now?

Cracked.
Sunday, March 11, 2012

motherlove nipple cream

I found this nipple cream in my car today and thought it might be mine until I read “sore, cracked nursing nipples” on the label! Ha. This is what happens when your friends have babies!

The Boot.
Saturday, March 10, 2012

christine and jessie - el camino little italy

Christine and the birthday girl before she got kicked out of El Camino last night! Happy birthday, Jessie!

29!
Thursday, March 8, 2012

new girl schmidt 29

Happy 29th birthday, Gus (that’s short for “Me gusta Jess!”). Enjoy your last year in your twenties! After this, it’s all darkness. Ha!

Coworkers.
Thursday, March 8, 2012

let's go shit on coworkers in a more informal setting - someecard

Or… Belle, Jesse and me at happy hour last night.

4:06 PM Jesse: i wonder what they were saying about her
  me: idk dude, prob talking madddd shit
4:07 PM Jesse: obvi nothing as clever or funny as what we say
  me: well, obvi!
Fancy.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012

sephora by opi only gold for me

Black Onyx (OPI) + Only Gold For Me (Sephora by OPI)

Don’t let the fancy nails fool you. I’m wearing yoga pants and my I ♥ Haters shirt in this photo.

Tote baguette.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012

tony from buitoni spotify ad

3:16 PM Jesse: this LMFAO spotify commercial is getting really old
  me: i hate that fucking tony from buitoni pasta one
  Jesse: what?? i havent heard any pasta ads!
3:18 PM me: are they tailored to what we listen to?
  how do they know i like carbs?
  Jesse: HAHAHA

Is it weird that I have half a baguette in my tote bag right now?

Waiting.
Sunday, March 4, 2012

beginners movie lion and giraffe

HAL: Well, let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.
OLIVER: I’d wait for the lion.
HAL: That’s why I worry about you.

The Reason.
Sunday, March 4, 2012

prado at balboa park happy hour

I had happy hour at The Prado at Balboa Park last night! We enjoyed margaritas and live music by Trent Hancock. The highlight of my night was when he asked for song requests and hand to god, someone suggested Hoobastank (and it wasn’t me!). The lowlight was parking down the street on 6th and trekking to the restaurant because I didn’t want the valet attendant to see my secret shame! Ha.

Honey Cocaine.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
3:48 PM me: i like this artist radio thing on spotify
  i found this band called the perishers
3:49 PM Pamela: oh cool, i don’t know them
  me: they remind me of the cinematic orchestra
3:50 PM Pamela: don’t know them either
  lol i know peeps like honey cocaine
3:51 PM me: i don’t even know who you are right now

The Perishers – Sway
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/The Perishers – Sway.mp3]

Eastbound & Down.
Sunday, February 26, 2012

phil's bbq opening in santee

Phil’s is opening a restaurant in Santee! This alcohol notice confirms it. Soon I’ll be able to get drunk and stuff myself with meat closer to home. And then I can head over to Phil’s afterward 😉

bridesmaids - it's happening it's happening it happened

Stylist.
Friday, February 24, 2012

tracee lorenzana hair stylist business card

I designed these business cards for my favorite stylist, Trace! Her other talents include faking a British accent and playing the recorder.

More from my design portfolio here.

If you want this design for your own business cards, you can place an order in my Etsy shop.

Charlotte Sometimes.
Monday, February 20, 2012

Charlotte Sometimes is on The Voice! Waves & The Both Of Us got me through some shit with Il Postino years ago! So excited to see her on the show. Now I have a reason to watch besides Adam Levine’s beard (as if that wasn’t reason enough).

Charlotte Sometimes – Pilot
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Charlotte Sometimes – Pilot.mp3]

And when I say that you should stay
Remember what I’m drinking’s cheap
And I’m a pilot and I am steering deep

Sexy Grandma.
Monday, February 20, 2012

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my grandma since she had heart surgery last week, and I’ve found that we have a lot more in common than I thought we did.

Exhibit A: her toiletry bag.

sexy grandma

84-years-old and still got it 😉

Drinking Game.
Sunday, February 19, 2012

modern family drinking game

My finest work.
Sunday, February 19, 2012

i love wieners

Needless to say, these “I ♥ wieners” buttons I just made for Vince were not included in the online portfolio I designed to showcase my finest work.

Ma’am.
Thursday, February 16, 2012

new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing
new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing

This is pretty much how my first day back at the gym went down.

Declined.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012

titanic 3d screening

I’d love to, but I already have plans to wear sweatpants and free up some space on my DVR tonight. Maybe some other time.

Happy V-Day, Playa!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012

SCHMIDT: Every time you have sex with the same person, Jess, you die… just a little bit. It’s like a copy of a copy.
JESS: Lucky us, we get to go out looking for some straaange. Happy V-day, playa!
SCHMIDT: Holla!

Threat.
Sunday, February 12, 2012

yelp gym junkie reminder

I have three weddings coming up (none of which are my own, of course), and Yelp just threatened to take away my gym junkie badge due to a lack of check-ins. If that’s not a sign to start working out again, then I don’t know what is. Besides, isn’t the point of weddings to get good photos of yourself while you’re thin?

Camera.
Saturday, February 11, 2012

Do the things I wanna do
Not the ones I’m supposed to
Why can’t I get close to the better side of me
When I was young

Young the Giant debuted some new songs last night at Soma and this was my favorite…

Hello, stranger.
Thursday, February 9, 2012

hello stranger

This past week, I received an email from an old high school friend I lost touch with, two of my old coworkers from two different jobs both texted me out of the blue wanting to hang out, and I just happened to cross paths with someone I haven’t seen in ten years. What’s next? The return of Crystal Pepsi?

Relax music.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012

new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing
new girl - the landlord - dancing new girl - the landlord - dancing

Rusted Root – Send Me On My Way
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Rusted Root – Send Me On My Way.mp3]
Thanks to this week’s episode of New Girl for my new ringtone! Expect to see these dance moves every time I get a text message…

Wild.
Saturday, February 4, 2012

macbook pro and domo sushi

Another Saturday night in working on my design portfolio and eating enough takeout from Domo Sushi to feed a small village.

My Saturday nights have been pretty wild lately.

Prurient.
Friday, February 3, 2012

Crosses – Prurient

I see you wanna taste
But don’t wanna wreck your life
I think you know the game
So go ahead and take a bite

Chino ♥

Update.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012

girl scout cookie locator app

I would be lying if I said that I finally updated my jailbroken phone for the wireless syncing capabilities.

Ousted.
Monday, January 30, 2012

ousted mayor crab hut

Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse…

Moving forward.
Sunday, January 29, 2012

it's not who you are that holds you back. it's who you think you're not

Bonjour le peen.
Friday, January 27, 2012

new girl text

Apparently, replying to tweets & pinterest comments isn’t talking! Ha. I love that when Skokie and I do talk, we speak in New Girl quotes.

Timing.
Monday, January 23, 2012

how i met your mother - the best man - chemistry and timing - robin sherbatsky

If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing. Timing. But timing’s a bitch.

Lucky.
Monday, January 23, 2012

chinese new year red envelope

I picked the luckiest red envelope at work today! In other news, I’ve forgiven the white elephant gods for my booby prize.

Twelve in 2012.
Sunday, January 22, 2012

12 in 2012 - new year's resolutions

  1. Find a new home. A new apartment, a new house, maybe a new city… No one is keeping me here but myself.
  2. Pay off my credit cards. I just paid off my car, but my credit card debt is seriously cramping my style.
  3. Find a new job. It’s been over four years since I took this internship as a “stepping stone” towards my dream job. Two promotions and seven interns later, I know I’ve reached my full potential here and exhausted my stay.
  4. Learn how to cook. According to Skokie, it looks like I’m getting better at not burning things, so I must be halfway there! I’ve pinned a ton of recipes to try here.
  5. Conquer the elusive French macaron. I’m going to bake a perfect salted caramel macaron, and it will be glorious.
  6. Try new things. The same old is getting old. I can’t remember the last time I did something for the first time.
  7. Travel more. Go somewhere I’ve never been before for more than just a weekend.
  8. Appreciate what I have. I’ll try not to lose any sleep over the nine couples I know getting married this year. Yes, I said nine.
  9. Procrastinate less. If being stuck with no gas at Anthony’s during The Great Blackout of 2011 taught me anything, it’s that Anthony uses Aveeno Skin Brightening Daily Scrub. And that I shouldn’t wait until my gas light is on for two days before filling up.
  10. Take better care of myself. Eat better, exercise more, get regular checkups. Losing my aunt to lung cancer last year coupled with my mom’s painful battle with pancreatitis def put my health in perspective.
  11. Be more organized. My dad once told me that guys like girls who are more organized. I used to think it was just something that he said to get me to take the half empty bottled waters out of my car, but now I’m not so sure.
  12. Go to more music festivals. Outside Lands in SF last year was amazeballs. There are so many other festivals… Coachella in Indio, Lollapalooza in Chicago, Bonnaroo in Tennessee, SXSW in Austin… Where should I go next? Who’s coming with me? And most importantly, which festivals will Young the Giant be at???
Welcome to your nightmare.
Sunday, January 15, 2012

dirty 30

Since I didn’t instantly turn into a little old troll under a cave when the clock struck midnight on my 30th birthday, I abandoned my original plan to hide under my bed all weekend and celebrated instead:

  • Pink champagne to toast my dirtieth at work, courtesy of my boss
  • Pammie’s CMYK balloons made my little design nerd heart race
  • European Cake Gallery cake with a message from Gloria from Modern Family! Ha. It was just as good as last year’s message from the cast of Saved by the Bell.
  • Pizza and beer at Blind Lady Ale House to celebrate Anthony’s, Christine’s, and my birthday week! The only sausage I had that night was the chorizo on my artisan pizza, Shirley May =P
  • Moscow mules at El Camino and a Seau sighting at Lucha Libre with Christine, Pammie and Jessie
  • I made a wish on my creme brulee and practiced my indoor voice at Donovan’s for Restaurant Week with Pammie, Chel and Shi.

I made it through my 30th birthday relatively unscathed with a little help from my friends and a lot of liquor 😉 Thanks for a great weekend, loves ♥

“I hope you I made your bday wish come true.”
Monday, January 9, 2012

happy birthday anthony rios

Dear Anthony,

Thank you for taking me out for beers on your birthday. I was one beer away from jocking you hard into a half mouth kiss. LOLOL. That’s so ugly. My stomach hurts from laughing all night. You really are a beacon for lost souls, if only my own. Happy birthday, friend!

Downhill.
Sunday, January 8, 2012

dirty diaper game baby shower

I don’t know what’s sadder—that I spent my last weekend in my twenties at yet another baby shower, or that I won the dirty diaper game by identifying 10 out of 10 melted candy bars (some without even having to smell them).

It’s all downhill from here.

Divide.
Friday, January 6, 2012

11 Things to Know at 25(ish) via Relevant Magazine:

  11. Don’t Get Stuck

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. They mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? What parts of my childhood am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep? Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned.

Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

Classy.
Sunday, January 1, 2012

We watched Mayer Hawthorne at The Cosmopolitan while taking swigs of vodka from our disposable flasks Friday night. We’re some real classy broads.

More videos from the show here.

Happy New Year!
Sunday, January 1, 2012

NYE 2012 Las Vegas

It was my last NYE in my 20s, so I thought I would go out with a bang. Today, I woke up in Las Vegas sore as hell and $300 richer! Sadly, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as it sounds.

Foreigners and Poor People.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011

the league ruxin hotmail

RUXIN: Because of that HR asshole, I have no computer access to league activities. So I’m using my old personal email address—
KEVIN: herdsman@earthlink.net?
RUXIN: No.
PETE: yaya@yahoo.com?
RUXIN: If you must know, it’s the_ruxtor18@hotmail.com.
PETE: I can’t tell what’s funnier—is it that you chose “the ruxtor,” or is it that you have an actual Hotmail account, the official email for foreigners and poor people?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love Pete from The League. I knew I wasn’t the only one who judged others by their email provider!

Sure, I used to be YummyMAYANaze@hotmail.com. And maybe on AIM, too. And okay, before that I was GUMMYI3EAR@aol.com (yes, that “B” consists of a lowercase “i” and the number 3). I’m obvi still yummy and I still like gummybears, but you don’t see me bragging about it on my GeoCities website!

(I’m really dating myself here, aren’t I?)

“Not your grandma’s flan” cupcakes.
Sunday, December 25, 2011

leche flan cupcakes

I was doing everything short of bending time and space to get these damn flans out of my supposedly nonstick brioche pans when my aunt turned to me and said, “It’s so hard being Martha Stewart, isn’t it?”

It really is.

Oh, cruel world.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

anthropologie birthday discount

Not only did I receive a reminder from Anthropologie that I’m turning thirty next month, but I also got stuck with a “family” frame (for the husband and kids I don’t have) at the white elephant gift exchange at my office today.

If only I had picked the booze that Jesse brought so I could drown my sorrows.

3:18 PM Jesse: so im going to the home depot parking lot in 15 minutes to buy nye tickets from dude off craigslist
  me: i hope you have your gat strapped
3:21 PM Jesse: if im not back in 30 minutes, call the police cuz ive likely been stabbed and robbed
  me: can i have your white elephant gift if you don’t come back?
3:22 PM Jesse: of course
All the livelong day.
Thursday, December 22, 2011

sony earbuds christmas gift

I’m pretty sure this is Jesse’s way of saying that he no longer appreciates hearing me blast Young the Giant in my shitty earbuds all the livelong day.

Merry Christmas to us both!

Wishlist.
Monday, December 19, 2011

moviepeg-iphone-stand

I was sitting in Grantville Park on my lunch break with my rolled tacos in one hand and my iPhone in the other wondering how the hell I was supposed to eat my Taco Fiesta AND watch episodes of Happy Endings at the same time (and in case you were wondering… yes, my wallet’s too small for my fifties and yes, my diamond shoes are too tight).

My friends and I are doing another Elfster gift exchange this year, so I’ve added an iPhone Moviepeg to my wishlist. The list is really more of a loose guideline. Like if you were to get me a KitchenAid Stand Mixer in Imperial Black even though I clearly wished for Onyx Black, I would still accept it.

Hometown Holiday Show.
Saturday, December 17, 2011

See more videos from the best day of my existence here.

Happy birthday, Pammie!
Friday, December 16, 2011

happy birthday gift tag craft paper twine diy

Awesome gifts come in awesomely designed packages 😉

Doomsday.
Monday, December 12, 2011

you only get 10 years to be in your twenties

I officially have one month left to make some bad decisions. Where did my life go???

Homemade Bliss.
Sunday, December 11, 2011

homemade cranberry bliss bars starbucks

I always wish for two things during the holidays:

  1. A KitchenAid Stand Mixer
  2. Starbucks’ seasonal Cranberry Bliss Bars

I figured out how to make my own bliss bars, and now I can have them anytime I want! These were good, but they would taste even better if they were made with a KitchenAid stand mixer 😉

Eternal Rest.
Saturday, December 10, 2011

church prayer candles

Greg Laswell – This Woman’s Work

Give me these moments back
Give them back to me

Rampage.
Friday, December 9, 2011

workplace rampage somee card

My co-worker Jesse just sent me this right now. Apparently, he couldn’t help but notice that my soul died a little more than usual at work today.

Pick a font, baby.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011

happy endings - grinches be crazy - corn coupon

DAVE: You’re really going with the coupon books that no one wants again this year?
ALEX: People love my coupon books!
DAVE: Nibble your name into a cobb of corn? Who wants that?
ALEX: You know you want it. Pick a font, baby. Don’t be shy.
DAVE: I do not want that in Helvetica.

Alex from Happy Endings is my spirit animal.

Parched.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011

dead plant

I think it’s safe to assume that no one watered my plant while I was out of the office.

(It probably didn’t help that I never watered it while I was here, either.)

GOODKNITS Giveaway!
Monday, December 5, 2011

goodknits giveaway at cakies blog

Cakies is giving away a cozy GOODKNITS crocheted doily blanket, and I’d love to win one for the most stylish mama I know 🙂

Click here to enter the giveaway!

Just like that.
Saturday, December 3, 2011

Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant.
But it’s very important that you do it.
I tend to agree with the first part.
Don’t postpone what you want.
Don’t leave anything misunderstood.
Make sure the people you care about know.
Make sure they know how you really feel.
Because just like that… it could end.

Addiction.
Saturday, December 3, 2011

young the giant tickets

Do your job.
Friday, December 2, 2011

dear eyelashes - do your job

As someone who relies on a Magic 8 Ball app to make my life decisions, it’s no surprise that I’m all about this wishful thinking crap.

And so today at 11:11, instead of wishing my usual wish that I won’t mention (partly because it won’t come true if I do, but mostly because it’s frowned upon), I wished for the speedy recovery of my best friend’s dad who suffered a heart attack and had quadruple bypass surgery yesterday. And for a miracle to happen for my mom’s sister who is back in the hospital and losing her battle with lung cancer.

This week was def a reminder that life is short.

Follow.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011

incenses:

I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them.

I really hope no one was following me invisibly tonight, because they would have seen me in bed watching Remember Me while sobbing uncontrollably, and then watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show while regretting everything I’ve ever eaten in life and trying to suck in that little pouch where I keep my extra cookies.

Nobody needs to see these things.

Breaking Dawn.
Sunday, November 27, 2011

breaking dawn wedding gif

Sleeping At Last – Turning Page

I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

I may or may not have cried during this scene when I watched it for the first time at the theater on Friday. And again when I watched it on Saturday. And a third time while watching the bootleg I just downloaded today.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 24, 2011

new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar
new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar new girl thanksgiving douchebag jar
Making whoopie (pies!)
Wednesday, November 23, 2011

bourbon pumpkin spice whoopie pie

I made bourbon pumpkin spice whoopie pies for Thanksgiving this year. They’re filled with cream cheese, love, and that mini bottle of Maker’s Mark that I keep in my purse.

I love baking with booze… and sometimes I even put it in the food 😉

Story of my life.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011

50/50 messy car trash

El Dorado & Diplo.
Sunday, November 20, 2011

el dorado moscow mules - diplo

It was a Saturday night, so I was in bed eating beef ribs from Phil’s BBQ when Christine called me and said that Diplo was having a free show downtown for the America’s Cup World Series. I’ve had this weird crush on Diplo ever since I saw him in that Blackberry commercial, so I finished my ribs got ready and was out the door by 7:30.

I had dessert and drinks with Christine at Karl Strauss, walked to the harbor, fist pumped to Diplo’s set, met up with Jessie, had one too many mules at El Dorado, ate late night tamales at La Fachada, and got home at three in the morning.

Today, I woke up with a headache and a half eaten burrito next to my face.

Boys, try not to fall in love with me.

Happy Endings.
Saturday, November 19, 2011

happy endings - brad and max dancing happy endings - brad and max dancing
happy endings - brad and max dancing happy endings - brad and max dancing

Dude, check out what we’ve been working on all afternoon.

I’m supposed to be finishing the last book of a certain love saga that shall not be named so that I can watch the movie today with the girls (if you know what I’m talking about, I will judge you, but I’m already super busy judging myself, so don’t feel too bad about it).

Instead of reading, I’ve been staring at this animated gif from Happy Endings all morning. I laughed so hard during this scene that I scared my dog!

Give up.
Thursday, November 17, 2011

margarita

Know when to give up and have a margarita.

Party of one.
Thursday, November 17, 2011

happy endings - alex to-go food

There’s this Chinese hole-in-the-wall that I order food from whenever I’m feeling shitty (so like… every Wednesday), and they used to give me four sets of plastic silverware, because I clearly ordered enough food to share with three other people.

And then there was a period of about a week where I ordered takeout from them like three or four days in a row, and they started giving me just one set of utensils for all that food plus extra fortune cookies (to feed my pain, I’m sure). Actually, this was last week.

The problem is…
Wednesday, November 16, 2011

the problem is you're never all that far - ache in my heart

The New Girl.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
the new girl - nick and jess - pointed feet the new girl - nick and jess - pointed feet
the new girl - nick and jess - pointed feet the new girl - nick and jess - pointed feet

The New Girl is my favorite new show this season! I just want to put Jess in my pocket and keep her forever. Also, I’d like to take Nick down to Chinatown and slice him off a piece of this pumpkin pie!

Pizza Party.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011

diy pizza

(L-R) tomato sauce/alfredo sauce (Shi’s, obvi), pepperoni and pesto, chicken alfredo

Over the weekend, we had our way with all the DIY pizzas we could eat and somehow lived to blog about it.

Assorted Revelry.
Monday, November 14, 2011

yelp big night badge

An SD Beer Week bar crawl earned me Yelp’s Big Night badge Friday night with Christine, Shi and Anthony. I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty epic!

Dallas.
Thursday, November 10, 2011

So please don’t come to me on my dying day
Just let me go in peace
With all the things that I forgot to say
Racing through my mind

Sold out City and Colour show with Jessie and the hipsters last night! Is it just me, or does Dallas Green’s voice fix things in the universe?

Teach.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011

angela viens fb post

Not only do I teach my interns how to polish a turd in photoshop, but I also encourage them to forego their grad school scholarships and follow their dreams.

Somewhere, right now, Angela’s grandma is giving me the stink eye.

City and Colour.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011

city and colour - house of blues san diego

City and Colour – Northern Wind
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/City and Colour – The Northern Wind.mp3]

Oh, my love, you don’t know what you do to me

Highlight.
Monday, November 7, 2011

young the giant - in n out secret menu

YTG had 99 comments on their status update, and mine was the only one they “liked” 😉

I don’t know what’s sadder—is it how easily I recognized an In-N-Out secret menu order, or is it the fact that this was the highlight of my weekend?

Unkind.
Sunday, November 6, 2011

i'm sorry about the unkind words i spoke out of hunger - someecards

Low blood sugar is not a good color on me.

Feelings.
Thursday, November 3, 2011

bridesmaids - are you fucking kidding me?

I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.

Worst. Day. Ever.
Monday, October 31, 2011

philip rivers - worst day ever - chargers chiefs

No lunch break at work, an hour of unpaid overtime, and a Chargers loss. Is my pet’s head gonna fall off next???

You said it, Rivers…

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