My dad isn’t handy at all, so I’ve always built my own furniture and put shit together myself.
One time, I got this Article Caliper Shelf delivered to my apartment in LA. It was huge! I had to piece it out in the lobby, because the box wouldn’t fit in the elevator and I live on the third floor. Several of my neighbors offered to help, but I declined them all. As much as I would’ve loved the assistance, I hate being mansplained even more 😅 Plus, I wanted them to just think of me as ‘the nice, quiet girl in 332’ and I’ve seen putting furniture together test too many relationships!
It was worth it in the end, though. It’s one of my favorite pieces in my studio.
Pammie got a stand-up desk while I was in Spain, so I couldn’t put it together for her. She said it took her five days. When Shi found out, she was like, “Dennis didn’t help you?!” Apparently, it’s Shi’s husband’s job to do that kind of shit. But my sister’s husband is even less handy than she is, if you can believe it. Even though I don’t need a man to build furniture for me, I can’t imagine being married to someone who isn’t good with their hands 😏
All that to say, my sister ordered new mattresses and they’ve been sitting in her living room for weeks. They’re those adjustable ones where each side can sit up or lie down, so she also bought new bed frames that are adjustable. She has to break down her old bed frame and mattress and remove it, so she can put the new bed in her room. They were gonna get rid of their old mattress, but decided to keep it and put it in the guest bedroom where I sleep. I currently sleep on the full bed that came with the house (my sister got the model home). My feet hang over the end of the bed and I can literally feel every spring in the mattress 🥴 My sister’s old bed is memory foam and king-sized, so all my sleep-related problems would be solved 😅
Pammie hired the community handyman to break down her old bed and set up her new one, but he got sick the day he was supposed to come, then she came back from Vegas with Covid when he was rescheduled to come, and now she and her husband are vacationing in Hawaii.
Partly because I wanted to do something nice for my sister, but mostly because I’m tired of sleeping on this god awful bed, I broke down her old bed frame, set it back up in the guest room, and set up her new bed up in her room.
This memory foam cali king is nice, but I miss sleeping in my own bed. I have a nice pillow top dream cloud mattress at home, and a bed frame the delivery guys from CB2 assembled in less than 10 minutes.
I also set up Pammie’s Ring Video Doorbell that’s been collecting dust in her closet for 2 years. I’m only the best sister there ever was 😌
I wanted it to be a surprise when she came back from Hawaii, but I didn’t know where she kept the Ring or where the tools were to disassemble the bed. I was like, ‘Do you know where the 3/16-inch short arm hex key is? Also, what is a short arm hex key?’ 😆
I’m babka tired now, though… The first and only time I made babka, it turned out sooo good. But I didn’t realize how time consuming it was going to be (the dough has to rest and rise twice!), so I didn’t start till 11 at night. I was up at 3 in the morning tired as fuck and near tears (just kidding—I was openly sobbing). So whenever I’m exhausted now, I just say I’m ‘babka’ tired and Pammie knows I’m not fucking around 😴
Anyway, I just doordashed a pizza, so I’m gonna eat it and sleep for a gabillion years ✌🏻
One Christmas, my aunt texted the whole family and was like, “If you’re married or over the age of 25, you will not be getting a gift this year.” I was like, “So not only am I old and single, I also won’t be getting presents this Christmas???” 🤣 My mom’s sisters and grandma used to give all the kids gifts and with all the kids having their own kids, it was getting to be a lot.
I usually don’t give gifts to all my cousins and their kids (there’s over 20 of those little fuckers!), but with my health scare this year, and all the love and support I’ve received, I thought why not???
I hardly use my cricut the rest of the year, but I bust that shit out for Christmas.
It was already a bitch to weed out all the letters before the strokes, but it was even tougher after. The strokes made my hands weaker and shakier, so it took me longer than necessary to weed all the letters. I also need more help opening jars. I used to have beautiful penmanship, but now I try to print everything I can on my computer. I only write my rent checks and sign restaurant receipts 😅 I also used to have a nice singing voice (I was in advanced choir in high school—I have the sequin dresses and nude character shoes to prove it), but after the strokes, I kinda sound like Marge Simpson 😅 I was telling the girls this story about this Manhattan Beach woman who had Alzeimer’s that I used to see missing flyers for. She went to LACMA with her husband, used the bathroom and then wandered off. I was like, “And years later, they found her BONES!” and Shi was like, “Your voice makes your stories sound 100x scarier!” 😅
Waitress is my favorite musical ever. Yes, over Hamilton. They both debuted in 2016, and Waitress was nominated for four Tony Awards, but Hamilton swept the Tony’s that year (Sara Bareilles was robbed, IMO). They’re showing the musical for a few days at the movie theatre, so I had to watch it with Shi (who was lucky enough to catch the musical on Broadway) and Pammie (who watched it with me here in San Diego). I made us some deep shit dish apple pie to celebrate. Just kidding. I instacarted a Julian Pie from Vons 😅 Ain’t nobody got time to bake a pie from scratch!
I put the pie slices in mason jars like they served at the musical for us to eat at the movie theatre because I’m extra. Shi was like, “Were they selling these outside?” And I was like, “No, I made them. Well, I bought the pie. I just put it in jars and made the label.” 😅 She was like, “I was just trying to make it here on time!”
It only takes a taste When it’s something special It only takes a taste When you know it’s good Sometimes one bite is more than enough To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of
We watched the musical live at the Civic Theatre, but they took it off Broadway in 2020, so I never got to see Sara Bareilles play the lead role in NYC. She did a small run with Jason Mraz playing her doctor, but I couldn’t find anyone who could just go to NYC for the weekend to watch it. I guess I don’t know anyone who flies by the seat of their very chill pants like I do! I hope they release it digitally so I can cry watch it at home whenever I want.
Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.
That’s a wrap on 2020! Pammie upgraded me to the new Cricut Maker, so 90% of the gifts I gave were personalized (the other 10% was whatever I could amazon prime at the eleventh hour).
I had a lot of random jobs in my twenties, and for a brief window in 2004, I was a barista at Starbucks. It was a second job I picked up during the holidays for extra cash, and not one I stayed at very long. That was probably the last time I made my own coffee, and definitely the last time I woke up at four in the morning on purpose! Ha.
I mostly caffeinate with canned cold brew these days, but sometimes I’ll indulge in my most favorite iced coffee ever—Blue Bottle New Orleans. At $4 a pop, it’s not something I have on my everyday shopping list (a girl’s gotta pay her rent, after all). But they sell their cold brew kit online and are offering free shipping right now, so I thought why the hell not? What else do I have going on six weeks deep into this quarantine???
This homemade cold brew turned out way better than any coffee I ever made at Starbucks, and I didn’t even have to wake up before the sun to enjoy it. Win-win.
I’ve been itching to build something new for my place, but I’m not sure what. My sister’s husband thinks I’m making myself too comfortable in this apartment I’ve been wanting to leave for five years, and it’ll be that much harder (for everyone else) when I eventually move out of the sticks. (You ask someone to help you move during one Chargers playoff game ten years ago, and they don’t ever let you forget it!)
We’re bringing some bags of beer bones to the walk this Saturday if you’d like to meet us at the finish line… otherwise known as mile 2! Ha. Don’t judge us!
Did you donate because of the animals or because of my cute packaging, be honest.
I’ve reached 70% of my fundraising goal! Help me get to 100% HERE and receive a bag of these homemade beer bones (they’re dog tested and Rocky approved, if that helps sway you at all).
Make a donation of $10 or more to sponsor my participation in San Diego Humane Society’s Walk for Animals and receive a bag of homemade beer bones made with repurposed spent grain locally sourced and generously donated by LA craft brewery, Progress Brewing!
You can donate HERE. Please put your address in the “Personal Note to Walk Participant” field if you want dog treats. If you’re in LA or SD, I can probably just meet up with you 🙂
I battle my obvious love of dogs on a daily basis.
I can’t watch a cute puppy video on youtube without clicking on all the related videos. Next thing I know, I’ve lost three hours of my life watching 103 videos in a puppy surprise playlist and have been crying for at least two of those hours. Just kidding. (I cried for all three.)
When Pammie asked if I wanted to do a walk for animals, I immediately said yes without knowing any details other than dogs were somehow involved. Her office organizes this huge fundraiser that includes a bake sale where homemade dog treats are sold for donations, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to combine my love for dogs with my love for baking and get involved.
I reached out to some local LA craft breweries, and Progress Brewing in El Monte was generous enough to donate some spent brewing grain towards my cause. I drove out to what the dude described as “east of east los” with nothing but a 5-gallon bucket and a friend to witness my death in case the dude chopped me up into little pieces and dumped my body in the mash tun (I did meet him on the internet, after all).
Kevin, the co-owner of Progress Brewing, was actually a really nice guy. He asked if I preferred “Black IPA” or “American Red” doggy biscuits! Ha. I went with American Red, obvi, since I’m not a fan of IPAs. Dogs are also allergic to hops, so if you’re going to repurpose spent grain, make sure the brewery didn’t mash hop the batch you’re getting.
It’s best to use the spent grains within the first few days after brewing, otherwise they’ll go bad. I used a FoodSaver and froze them in portion-sized bags for storing and later use, since they gave me around 40 pounds of grain.
Here’s a simple, all-natural recipe if you want to try making these at home:
Ingredients:
4 cups spent grain
2 cups organic barley flour
1 cup natural peanut butter
2 organic eggs
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine all of the ingredients and mix with your hands until a thick dough forms. Roll out the dough on a generously floured surface and cut out shapes with cookie cutters like this cute dog bone.
Line the biscuits on ungreased baking sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes, then reduce temperature to 225 degrees and continue baking for 2 hours. Cooking them the additional time at the lower temperature will help ensure they dry completely, extending their shelf life.
The dried biscuits will keep for 2 weeks in an airtight container and even longer if you freeze them in zipper bags. You can give them to your dogs straight from the freezer as a cool summer treat, or, if you’re in LA, in the dead of winter when it’s 90 degrees out!
Earlier this week, I reupholstered the leather cushions on my Roxy Rocker with this gorgeous Harris Tweed. According to Wikipedia, it was “handwoven by islanders at their homes in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.” I bought it off eBay from some dude in the UK, so it must be legit.
Also, I did all this with a staple gun, and I didn’t even hurt myself! It only took that first staple barely missing my thigh for me to realize that the staples come out of the other end when you shoot it. Yikes.
I built this coffee table in an ongoing attempt to lower my Ikea to non-Ikea furniture ratio. Yes, this area rug is from Ikea, but The Great Pizza Box Fire of 2014 destroyed my non-Ikea rug, and I needed an affordable replacement! One step forward, two steps back…
This coffee table was built the same way I built my mid-century modern side table, but with a few modifications. I used pre-stain wood conditioner this time to prevent streaking and blotching. On a bigger job like this, you won’t be able to hide the ugly parts with succulents and a strategically placed Beyoncé print.
You can follow the same directions I used to build the side table. Just be sure to use these new measurements.
2 – 1″x12″-6′ common boards – 4 pieces that are cut 36″ long
(the top & bottom boards)
1 – 1″x4″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 22.5″ long
(the side boards)
Since I already had the gel stain and clear coat left over from building the side table, it only cost me $88 to make this coffee table! That’s cheaper than the Ikea rug it’s sitting on…
I’m obsessed with all things Mid-Century modern, and when I saw this Co-Mod side table, I knew that I needed it in my life. But it was $345. And sold out. And $345. I felt like that needed to be mentioned twice.
Because I’ve mastered the art of assembling Ikea furniture (and tested many friendships along the way), I thought that I should try building this side table myself. I went to Home Depot, showed them a photo on my phone and was basically like, “HOW YOU DO DIS?” If you act like you don’t know what you’re doing (or you’re like me and you legitimately do not know what you’re doing), the good people at Home Depot will help you. They will tell you what paint brush you should use to apply clear coat. They will tell you what clear coat is. They will even cut your wood down to the exact size that you need at no extra charge.
1″x8″-10′ common board – 4 pieces that are cut 20″ long
(the top & bottom boards)
1″x6″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 14.5″ long
(the side boards)
DIRECTIONS:
Sand your boards. I used 150 grit sandpaper and sanded in the direction of the grain until it felt smooth. After your boards are sanded, wipe them down with a damp cloth to remove excess sawdust before staining them. This is probably something you should do outdoors in a well-ventilated area and not inside your 400 square foot studio during the only weekend it rains in Los Angeles. I still have sawdust in places I didn’t know I could get sawdust.
Stain your boards. Use gloves unless you want to have to keep explaining to everyone why your hands are brown for the next three days. You can use an old t-shirt, or if you’re a hoarder like me and can’t bear to part with your ‘I ♥ Haters’ shirt, you can get a pack of paint rags from Home Depot for $4 and use those instead. I used one to apply the stain to the wood and one to wipe off the excess. It dries pretty fast, so I was able to coat all sides without waiting. I only applied one coat, but you can apply more if you want it darker. Let the boards dry completely.
Apply clear coat. I applied it to one side of the boards using a synthetic paint brush. Give it a couple hours to dry, then turn your boards over and apply it to the other side.
Assemble your side table. Use two 20″ boards for the bottom, two 20″ boards for the top, and the remaining 14.5″ boards for the sides. Here’s a helpful diagram:
Nail the two top boards to the long edge of the side boards, and repeat on the bottom. Use two nails on each end of each board as pictured. I had someone hold the boards together for me while I hammered away.
Mount the legs. I set the legs 2″ from the edges and marked where the screws would go. I pre-drilled pilot holes and screwed the legs on with sixteen 3/4″ screws. Depending on what kind of legs you buy, you might have a different method for attaching them.
You can build your own Mid-Century modern inspired side table for roughly $78 (for just the wood and the hairpin legs, if you happen to have the other materials). You really can’t beat that price or the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel after building something with your bare, wood-stained hands.
Other things pictured:
Painted succulent pots designed by me (DIY tutorial here)
Task lamp from Target
Beyoncé print designed by me (sold on Etsy)
Bedding from Anthropologie
Bed from West Elm (discontinued!)
What you’ll need:
Clay pots in various sizes
Acrylic spray paint
Painter’s tape
Succulents
Potting Soil
Clear sealant (optional)
Directions:
Spray the clay pots with acrylic paint. I used Krylon spray paint in Mambo Pink, Flat White and Sea Glass.
Let them dry completely before taping off whatever pattern or shape your heart desires and painting them with an accent color. I used Krylon’s Gold Metallic spray paint for the triangles.
If you plan on keeping your clay pots outdoors, make sure you weatherproof them with clear sealant. Otherwise, you can go ahead and plant your succulents!
This is an easy way to add some color to your home. The hard part (for me anyway) is keeping the plants alive!
Sanding, staining and spray painting on this rainy Sunday. IDK why I thought these were things I could do inside my studio. Pretty sure I’m high right now.
Say goodbye to ugly white vertical blinds, and hello to wood blinds and linen curtains. And if you’re wondering if the drapes match the carpet, I’ve got hardwood floors. And so does my apartment! Ha.
I know this is just a rental, but I like to fill the void in my life with home decor.
By the end of this month, I will have attended three baby showers and two weddings this year—none of which are my own. But I’m not bitter. Maybe a little tired of explaining to my grandma why I’m not married with children, but not bitter.
Making diaper cakes is not nearly as fun as making babies.
