If you’re not synced up, are you even friends???

(via @aiden_london)

One thing about me, my detective skills are 10/10. My ability to handle what I found, though, is usually 0/10 😅

File under: ‘Random thoughts I text my sister throughout the day’

(via @betchesuk)

It’s about to be a brief ass debriefing, guys 😅

Today marks 6 years since Rocky left us 💔

Welp, 3 out of 4, I guess.

Old enough to understand

Sometimes you do what you gotta do to survive in these streets ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(via @terriblepadresmemes)

How am I supposed to focus when Game 1 of the playoffs starts today???

LFGSD ⚾💛🤎

Update:

Things I’ve done today instead of packing:

Taco Tuesday with Nori 🌮 (@ Tacomasa)

Got a car wash 🚘

Watched the Padres game 😔

Googled ’sacrifice bunt baseball’ ⚾

So far, I’ve only packed 2 boxes – my crystals and everything displayed on my shelves, and all the booze off my bar cart. Thinking I should’ve ended with these boxes – I could use the crystals and booze right now 😅

Nothing fazes this kid. Must be nice to go through life so unbothered! How does he do it? (Seriously, how? Everything bothers me 😅).

Update: I always share my work chats with the girls. ‘Panties’ is where I draw the line, y’all. Contrary to popular belief, your girl does have some boundaries 😆

This does not bode well for my move exactly one month from today 😅

When I first moved into my current building (13 years ago!), the one elevator wasn’t working. I hired movers, so they had to deal with carrying all my shit to the top floor. The landlord assured me the elevator would be fixed soon, but I ran into a neighbor who told me the elevator had been out of service for THE PAST TEN MONTHS 😳 I went to take a shower later that day to wash off the grime of moving in, and I had no hot water! My asshole landlord (yeah, I’m talking to you, Leonard!) let me move in to an apartment that wasn’t ready. I had to shower in a vacant unit on another floor on the other side of the building for two weeks while they fixed my pipes. After the elevator kept breaking down, my landlord was too cheap to fix it, so he sold the building and my new landlord was great! He had the elevator fixed, removed the popcorn ceiling from my unit, upgraded my bathroom, replaced my ceiling fan, microwave, refrigerator… He even told me, ‘It has always been a pleasure working with you. I wish you nothing but the best in your future!’ when I put in my notice earlier this week. He probably just ChatGBT’d what to say when a tenant puts in their notice, but it’s more than my previous landlord ever did.

The east side elevator on 14th St is actually closer to my new unit than the main elevator, so I was gonna have the movers use that elevator anyway. Silver lining 😅

(via @fitlittlebrat)

I gloss over my stroke, but I hear so many stories of people both older and younger than me who weren’t as lucky. I’m fortunate I can still speak (albeit delayed), walk, drive, work (design on the computer), shower by myself again, cut my own nails… things I def took for granted. Before the stroke, I’d never stayed overnight at a hospital, let alone a whole week, and my doctor visits were few and far between. I’d never had surgery, and I had two that week – one on my birthday! S/O to Nicholas at Torrance Memorial who sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me on the operating table, right before he shaved my chocha 😅 Now I see my PCP every few months to make sure i’m not regressing.

Anyway, I’m (mostly) happy to still be here 😅 Pammie has been my biggest advocate since the stroke, and took care of me for over a year while I recovered. She works for iRhythm – a company that detects cardiac arrhythmias through a medical device, and her work participated in the Heart & Stroke Walk this morning. She invited me to join to celebrate being a stroke survivor ✊🏼 She surprised me by making us shirts (Jessie came up with the tagline bc everyone knows I love Young the Giant – Christine suggested we wear The Strokes band shirts LOL, but Pammie thought it wasn’t very PC – next year!), and they all surprised me by showing up this morning 🥹

I don’t really tell anyone about having the stroke unless I have to. It’s not something I ever posted about on socials for sympathy. Unless you’re one of the 3 people who still reads this blog after 20 years (hi, Shirley May 👋🏼), are a relative, a good friend, or someone I’ve seen in the past couple years since the stroke and I felt compelled to explain why my voice sounds like this now, you wouldn’t really know about it.

Labs and More Rescue (where Jess and Abe got Milo) had a booth with the cutest pups up for adoption 🥹

Post-walk pan dulce cart and chilaquiles (@ Cocina 35)

To everyone who has been a part of my road to recovery, whether it’s making sure I eat better, go on walks with me, sent me flowers, or simply just asked how I was doing, thank you 🙏🏼 To everyone else (who knew about it and said nothing), eat a bag of dicks!

(via @nopain2trainandgilbert)

When the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris was nearly destroyed by a fire in 2019, people donated almost 1 billion dollars for its restoration. I was telling Pammie about it, bc she never knows what’s going on in the world – she doesn’t watch the news bc shit is depressing most of the time. I also had to explain to her what happened in Waco, you guys. Anyway, I was telling Pammie that almost 1 billion dollars was raised to restore Notre Dame, and she was like, ‘1 BILLION?!’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, 1 billion,’ and she was like, ‘Srsly, 1 BILLION?!’ and I was like, ‘Yeah… 1 billion,’ and she was like, ‘1… BILLION?!’ and I didn’t want to keep repeating myself, so I raised my pinky up to my mouth like Dr. Evil and we were laughing for 100 years 🤣

So now, whenever I see this Austin Powers reference being used, I always send it to her:

Our new PM, Gus, passes the vibe check 😎

IDK what he looks like, but I just picture Gus Gus from Cinderella whenever he chats 😆

Jeffrey, always asking the important questions 🥰

Some of y’all ain’t never had to make your own ringtones on a Nokia flip phone, and it shows 😆

Pammie and her husband left for a shotgun trip to Vegas at the ass crack of dawn this morning to watch the MNF Chargers/Raiders game at Allegiant tomorrow. They wanted to get there in time to watch the football games on TV today, plus they left even earlier to chill in the Chase Sapphire Reserve lounge at the airport before their flight.

I slept till a more decent hour, then headed back to LA. There was absolutely no traffic – I usually drive down to SD mid-afternoon (after I’ve gotten my life together) and it always takes me 3+ hours. I barely made it twice through my Deftones playlist before I was already home! 🤘🏼

(via @bbgreatmoments)

Jess sometimes gets tickets behind home plate from her husband’s contractor. She invited me to a game last season and our tickets came with access to the Home Plate Club, private access to watch the Padres take batting practice in their off-field batting cage, and complimentary food and drinks. She told me not to eat a hot dog while we were in our seats bc they were behind home plate and we might be on TV LOL, so I scarfed down that wiener in record time off camera in the club lounge 😆

Last day of radiation for the bestie! 💐🔔

…and I used to live in Paradise Hills 😅

When I was little, my mom and her sisters – who were in their 20s at the time – got into a fight with these girls who wouldn’t let my grandma use the water fountain at the park. My uncle took me and the rest of the kids home while my mom and her sisters stood on business LOL. I remember my aunt pulled out their braids and took their watches. I was maybe 6-years-old, but it’s a core memory for me, guys 😆

Don’t mess with the Cuevas ladies… They’re even crazier in their 60s 😂

Scheduled a tour for an apartment in downtown SD this weekend, but also ran into my new next door neighbor today – a tall white guy with two 6yo gray frenchies who are sisters (he got them right before covid, so they’re stage-5 clingers). The first thing I usually notice on a guy is if he’s wearing a wedding ring or not, but I was too busy loving on his sweet dogs in the elevator to notice. Besides, I don’t shit where I sleep (anymore 😅).

One: don’t pick up the phone
You know he’s only callin’ ’cause he’s drunk and alone
Two: don’t let him in
You’ll have to kick him out again
Three: don’t be his friend
You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him
I got new rules, I count ’em

I don’t identify with much of a Capricorn’s traits – I’m idealistic, flighty and irresponsible. But I like to blame things on astronomical phenomenons like mercury retrograde and moon phases – pretty much anything but my own poor life choices 😅

Jessie and Abe are Padres season ticket holders, so we were able to get presale to the festival! Can’t wait to cry downtown with these b’s 😭

Pammie was able to get us front row tickets! The next best thing to being in a suite 😆

Mumford & Sons – Ghosts That We Knew

Hold me still
Bury my heart next to yours

Lord Huron – Long Lost

Lay me in the tall grown grass in a shallow grave
Let it have me

(via @kaelidance)

You got a dark side, guess you’re not the only one
What if we both tried fighting what we’re running from?
We can’t fix it if we never face it
What if we find a way to escape it?

Do I just have a thing for animated demons? 😅

Or just all demons?

While we’re on the subject of embarrassing revelations about myself, I was raving about how much I love banana pudding at the Padres game, and my sister was like, ‘Didn’t you used to love the banana cream pie from Coco’s, too?’ I was like, ‘Ya! One time (before the stroke, obviously) I doordashed an entire banana cream pie from Coco’s. As I was eating a slice, I thought to myself, ‘Is this rock bottom?’ 😅

Anyway, I’m already regretting posting this. Might delete later, probably.

Petco Park, I am in you. LFGSD ⚾💛🤎

I have been to several Padres vs. Dodgers games (both in SD and LA, both during the regular season and the postseason), and the Padres have never won against the Dodgers in my presence until last night! It was incredible. Thanks to Pammie for buying us tickets in the Agave Club 😘

Jessie and Abe were there with Baby Isaac, and Jess was wearing a City Connect shirt. I was like, ‘How’d you know they were gonna wear their City Connect uniforms tonight?’ And she was like, ‘Because it’s Friday!’ I was today years old when I found out that the Padres always wear their City Connect uniforms at home games on Fridays 😅 If I would’ve known that, I might’ve cricutted a brighter shirt for today.

I saw people watching the game from their balconies in the surrounding buildings and thought, ‘What a cool view.’ Pammie was like, ‘If I bought one of these condos downtown for you to rent, would you move back to SD?’ Um, 100%! I was looking at prices of rentals overlooking Petco and the median was $4,000/month 😵‍💫 I could afford to live there if I didn’t do any extracurriculars 😅 It was like when I was living in my apartment in La Mesa, but was so poor, all I did was work at my graphic design job during the day, go to art school at night, do my homework at the library because they had free air conditioning, and eat honeydew with a spoon with Shi on hot days. Life was so much simpler back then, but I’m financially stable now 😅 People who make less money than I do have nicer cars, own homes… It all depends on what you want to spend your money on. And I would rather pay for VIP access at a concert or first class on an airplane than own a nice car. I was looking at more affordable rentals (still downtown, but not overlooking Petco), and they were in the low $2,000s/month. That, I would be okay paying. It’s comparable to the rental prices in LA, look much nicer than the apartment I live in now, have in-unit washers/dryers (some asshole hit my parked car at the laundromat last month), and I’d save money in gas not driving back and forth from LA to SD all the time.

My boss recently told our web team (who’s been WFH since the pandemic), that she was talking to our VP about the new buildings our department is moving into soon (the print team has been working in our current office for the past few years. They started building the new offices during the pandemic and people started moving in this month), and his boss (the CEO’s son), doesn’t plan on having the web team come in. I’ve always felt like he thought the web department wasn’t important (we get the revenue reports, and a single one of our emails generated $5 million in revenue last year, so I beg to differ), so I’m not surprised he doesn’t care if we’re in-office or not. Besides, my boss and I are the only ones who live near the office in the South Bay, because we were here before the pandemic. Everyone else is scattered throughout LA (or have moved out of state), and I know they wouldn’t be down to commute. She said it’s not official yet, but something to think about…

I find the office environment very toxic (not all offices, just this department in particular), and I was dreading being in-office again soon. I even made a portfolio in case it was too much and I decided to leave. I’ve lived in LA for 13 years now (I moved here to work at this same company), and it’s never felt like home. Sure, it has good restos, and artists always have shows in LA, but Mexican food in SD will always be superior to Mexican food in LA (fight me), and I’ve gone to more shows in SD this year (it’s always easier than going to the same show in LA), plus most of my friends and family are in SD. If I have the opportunity to still work for an LA company (and make LA money!), but move back home to SD, I should take it, right?

Def not getting bangs and most def not getting banged 😅

Also, I have regretted getting bangs every time I’ve done it. EVERY 👏🏼 DAMN 👏🏼 TIME 👏🏼

(via @rachelelizabethx0)

Last game of the series today 🙏🏼

(via @davi.47.83)

My sister and I both got our hair cut one time, and we each got a different stylist, but were seated next to each other. My stylist was talking to me the entire time, and Pammie and her stylist barely exchanged two words. By the end of the cut, my stylist had invited me to her house for Christmas (it was around the holidays). IDK if it’s because my sister has RBF LOL or because I just look friendly, but strangers always talk to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Another time, I remember taking a long drive with an ex, and by the end of the car ride, I realized I was the only one doing the talking, and I was like, ‘How come you’re not saying anything?’ and he was like, ‘Well, I couldn’t get a word in.’ 😳 My bad for being engaging!

You’ll drive in my car
Just tell me we are going somewhere

Since the stroke, I try not to speak as much. The stroke altered my speech, so it’s delayed and most people have a hard time understanding me. Even when someone is talking, and I have a great anecdote to add that totally relates, I usually refrain from saying it because most people don’t have the patience to hear me try to get it out (including me).

I gave my dad a Birdbuddy last Christmas, and birds would visit it daily. He took it down when my parents went on vacation, and he hasn’t put it back up yet, so I borrowed it and put it on my balcony. It’s been out there for 3 weeks now, and not one bird has visited me 😭 And there’s a thick line of trees in front of my building, too, so I know there’s birds out there.

Anyway, I’m just trying to navigate this post-stroke world, where people and birds aren’t attracted to my energy anymore 😅

Update: NM, I’m good with no birds ✌🏼

Pammie and her husband always complain about the birds waking them up at an unholy hour, too – it’s not the dulcet tones of birds chirping, either, it’s something more akin to this Tyler the Creator bullshit 😆

(via @stargurl771)

(via @itsgivingmario)

Who needs Dodger Stadium when you can doordash Buffalo Wild Wings, make homemade garlic fries, get beer at the corner liquor store, and watch the game on your home theater projector???

It’s common knowledge that food tastes better when served in a coffin-shaped tray ⚰️🖤

Yes, the beer is Fistful of Gummies (by Second Chance Beer Company in SD), and yes, your girl loves a fruity sour. Someone once asked me for gum, and I only had the candy-flavored variety—Sour Patch Kids Gum and Starburst Gum. He was like, ‘Are you an adult???’ LOL get off me…

Update: The Padres lost 😩

When you’re trying to have a serious conversation, but your friends are moms 😅

Before she texted that the message was meant for her son, I was thinking, ‘Uhhh, IDK, is this a trick question?’ 😆

You can say ‘I love you’ in Helvetica, and you can say it with Helvetica Extra Light if you want to be really fancy, or you can say it with the Extra Bold if it’s really intense and passionate.

I watched this typography docu, Helvetica, in art school, and it has stuck with me after all these years.

Coincidentally, Jessie DM’d me this reel today and was like, ‘Is this you’ 🤣

(via @universe.decodee)

💯 this is me, and I would totally do the same – screenshot the logo, open it in Photoshop, zoom in and drag the guides to see if the letters are properly aligned.

You guys, IDK why I’m single when there are clearly other like-minded lunatics out there like me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

…or me when my work bestie told me she has to go to the Ai4 Conference in Vegas this week 🥵 I’ll just be working out of my air conditioned apartment in my chonies, thank yew…

She is also going to Arizona this weekend 🔥

My sister’s in a fantasy football league with our old friends from when we were kids, and their draft is today. It’s horrifying funny they haven’t changed since high school 😅

(via @devoutlychristan)

I ain’t trying to have it all 😆

My boss always puts me in charge when she’s out of office because I’m the most senior web designer after her. Her name is Gaye, so I’ll be Gaye until noon 😆

My work has a line of kids’ shoes with air tags in them. This would’ve been useful when I was a toddler and my mom lost me at the swap meet. I mean, she eventually found me playing by myself in one of those plastic kiddie pools 😆

I was eating lunch with Nori and the resto had one of those kids’ play places. All the kids had taken off their shoes and were running around barefoot. My first thought was, ‘Gross. How often do they clean those play places?’ My second thought was, ‘Those air tags can’t track them if they get kidnapped with their shoes off’.

I believe that air tags serve a purpose (I have one on my keys, and I think they work well for people with Alzheimer’s who tend to wander off, or inside dogs’ collars), but if you’re gonna put one on your kid, maybe put it on something they won’t take off (like a watch or necklace), or just have them swallow it like Brian’s kids 😂

Woke up sad. First, I was awakened at an unholy hour bc I could hear my sister on an early morning zoom call. Then, I was catching up on texts and Jessie sent us this video of my favorite sad scene from My Best Friend’s Wedding (a sequel is in the works). Then, I received a message that I left my sunglasses in my Uber drive home last night, so now I have to pay extra and coordinate with him to get them back. 2/10 morning.

Update: My sister had a zoom event for her AAPI group at work, and they made boba drinks. The meeting was led by white girls in NYC who kept calling it ‘bubble tea’, but this passionfruit butterfly pea fruit tea turned out great and she gave me it to drink (yes, she made it in a Harry Potter glass, and yes, today’s his birthday). Morning has been upgraded to 5/10.

Like the cashier at the Hustler adult store downtown once told someone I know (who was shopping for a vibrator and still living with her parents at the time), ‘DISCRETION IS KEY’ 😅

If they would’ve just acted normal, they wouldn’t have been outed. The company they work for is based in NYC, and the concert was in Boston. They’re not famous, so I don’t think anyone would’ve recognized them.

This was all my coworkers could talk about (and Silvia’s birthday LOL):

What is even happening??? 🤯

Jessie used to work for corporate at SeaWorld, and they would use her sometimes when they needed someone for promos 😆 Might have go to SeaWorld this summer, partly so Jessie can get reacquainted with the beluga whales, but mostly to see the Ying Yang Twins 😂

(via @petty_roosevelt_)

I have alarm reminders set up several times a day—one to wake up, one if concert tickets go on sale, four to take my meds throughout the day, and now one to feed my sourdough starter 😆

My mom says I would lose my vagina if it wasn’t attached. Nori and I once spent half an hour looking for my car after a Dodgers game because I couldn’t remember where I parked. I never remember where I park, even if I just run an errand at Target. I drop a pin now 😅 Whenever I’m at my sister’s house, I’m like, ‘Do you know where so-and-so is?’ and she always knows, down to the exact location. I’m like, ‘How do you always know where everything is?’ and she’s like, ‘Because I live here!’ I misplaced my Apple watch last week, and have just been walking around with a strip of white skin exposed on my wrist because I still haven’t found it. I can’t even use the Find My app on my Macbook or iPhone, because my watch is dead 😅 You guys, I live in a studio, so there’s not a lot of places it could be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(via @betches)

My sister checks most of the first type of girl’s boxes:

✅ white noise machine
✅ gua sha
✅ rolls her hair in a heatless curling rod
✅ laser light therapy mask + vaseline
✅ beautiful model-home bedroom
✅ evening (matcha) tea

I def check all of the second type of girl’s boxes 😅 #rottingcorpse

Tried to watch the Padres/Dodgers game, but it was blacked out in LA 😒

(via @toastthenarcoleptic)

So I doomscrolled instagram instead and found this narcoleptic dog named Toast, and now I has a sad 🥺

In unrelated news, I started my period today.

Every month when I’m on my period, I ask Nori to rub my tummy, and every month, she respectfully declines LOL.

I’ll just be in bed with my hot water bottle in case anyone wants to come over and be the big spoon.

Update: The Padres lost again 😔

I used to LOVE Linkin Park in my twenties, and was heartbroken when their frontman, Chester Bennington, committed suicide in 2017. I didn’t want to like them when they got a new lead singer, Emily Armstrong, especially after it came out that she supported Danny Masterson during his rape trial (that he was convicted for), but I do understand that the show must go on. The rest of the bandmates still have to make a living and have families to feed. I loved Mike Shinoda’s solo endeavors, though, and I wish I saw him live at the inaugural Dia De Los Deftones Festival.

If this graphic designer thing doesn’t work out, I’ll probably build charcuterie boards, or become a private investigator IDK ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t usually commit to things like exercise on a Saturday morning, but I ended up signing up for the class, partly because everyone else was doing it and I have serious FOMO, but mostly because I’m extra and made the girls self-care gift bags.

All the gift bags contained everything below, but I added some goodies (like Scotchmallows for Shi and fake lashes for Christine LOL):

• Spa Headband
• Face Masks
• Eye Masks
• Stress Relief Hand Cream
• Goli Apple Cider Vinegar Gummies – when we had our wellness weekend in Joshua Tree, we were talking about how good apple cider vinegar is for you, but most of us couldn’t stomach the taste. IDK if these gummies have the same nutritional value as actual apple cider vinegar, but they taste like candy! If I could take all my medication in gummy form, I would 😆

Also, is this a flex??? Because this is how I swallow my meds every day (16 not counting the 3 I take in gummy form LOL). Should I add this skill to my Tinder bio? 😜

(via @waitwhatdelb)

Update: The last time I took a cardio dance class was before covid with this same instructor at Culture Shock in Old Town. I walked 2 miles with Pammie around her neighborhood afterward and my knees were cracking like glow sticks.

Actual footage of me after all that exercise:

(via @cathiehightshoe)

I used to leave lengthy voicemails telling people about my day, but that was 20 years ago when I was young and stupid and forced people to hear about my life. I mean, I still have this blog after 20 years, but looking at it is a choice 😆 Also, if you leave me a voicemail now, I probably won’t check it.

Yesterday sucked.

I was off, because they gave the Advertising department the extra day off for Memorial Day, so they had to give it to the web team because we’re part of their department again. So I slept in a little and planned to leave for SD before noon. Noon turned into 1pm, then 1pm turned into 2pm. By the time I got my shoes on, I checked Google Maps, and it said it would take 4 fucking hours to get to SD. I was like, nah, I’ll just wait till later tonight to leave. I was going to take a nap (I’ve been really tired this past week and have had very little appetite, so gonna go to the doctor’s next week if it continues) when I got this alert on my phone from my mom:

I’ve never gotten one of these alerts before, so I called her, and she was fine at her sister’s house. Her phone was sending random SOS alerts all day (I got it four more times), and it never even sent me an alert when she fell and broke her wrist months ago.

I had a nightmare during my nap, woke up again around 7pm, and as I was leaving my building, I had to creep my car forward over the sidewalk so I could see the cross-street traffic and tell when there’s an opening for me to make a right turn. I live on a main street, and there are always cars zooming by. There was this guy jogging with his dog and another dude walking by himself about a block away. I was still waiting for an opening when they got to my car, and the guy jogging with his dog passed behind my car because I had left plenty of room, and the asshole walking by himself banged on the back of my car with his fists. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I almost lost it and drove after him. I had to fill up before heading down, so I bought some strawberry belts at the gas station to make me feel better LOL. I could see the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 405 as I filled up, and I was like, ‘WTF, Google Maps said no traffic.’ I got on the freeway, and could immediately see police lights. They funneled three lanes into one, and I drove by four mangled cars, one with all the airbags deployed in it. It really put things in perspective. No matter how shitty I thought my day was, these people were having a worse day than I was.

I just put on my julian playlist and ate my strawberry belts.

I saw that Julian Casablancas’ side band, The Voidz, have a show coming up, but I just like The Strokes and Julian’s solo tracks, nothing by The Voidz. Plus, the show is in fucking Riverside. I’ve seen The Strokes a few times, and each time they sucked. IDK if Julian just hates LA or what, but every time I’ve seen him, he has either left early or just so obviously didn’t want to be there. And I feel sorry for the band because he’s the only one being an asshole. It’s like whiskey dick, drugs and alcohol are all fun and games till you actually have to perform 😅 So I just listen to his music on Spotify now where he can’t disappoint me 😆

Please excuse my bitching, I’m on my period 😅

Where’s the lie??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Other foods I don’t like:

• yellow mustard
• ginger
• strawberry ice cream
• pickles on food (i’ll eat them separately)
• raisins in savory food
• coconut in savory food

You should be writing this down 📝

The Padres, Capitals and Golden Knights all lost tonight, but at least I can console myself with free french fries tomorrow…

I was today years old when I found out that there’s such a thing as kangaroo leather, and also that Adidas’ iconic shoe is called the ‘Samba‘ 👵🏻 To be fair, I don’t really know the names of any shoes, even though I’ve worked for a footwear company for over a decade 😅

We did a Star Wars collabo once, and my coworker had to tell me what a Death Star was, an X-Wing, a Stormtrooper… I’ve never seen Star Wars, so I couldn’t make the kids’ presentation without that nerd 😅

I’m just a web designer, guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jessie’s mom got harassed in Eastlake of all places (a predominantly Filipino/Mexican community) by a Mexican! And Baby Isaac is half Mexican! I never walk around my neighborhood in LA without my box cutter, pepper spray, and stun gun. Come at me, bro!

They just finished building this nice house that I pass by every day in Manhattan Beach. I looked it up on Redfin, and it’s selling for $6.3 million 😅 I’ve never felt unsafe in this bougie ass neighborhood, but you never know when you’ll need to cut a bitch!

Pammie has been having serious thyroid issues, so her doctor suggested she cut out gluten, soy and dairy before it becomes full blown Hashimoto’s disease.

She has been doing so well, and I wanted to make something special she could eat. One of my favorite dishes ever is the Spicy Fusilli Vodka at Jon & Vinny’s in LA. Carbs and alcohol? What’s not to love? Luckily, vodka is naturally gluten-free, so I just found some gluten-free pasta, dairy-free parm, and replaced the heavy cream with coconut milk. Normally, I don’t like coconut in savory food, but you couldn’t even tell I swapped the dairy out. The result was *chef’s kiss* 😙🤌

Usually, I hate meal prepping for myself, but I don’t mind doing it for my sister, or even for our old dog, Rocky. I used to cut up vegetables and cook chicken for him when we started feeding him fresh food during the last years of his life 😭 You make concessions for the ones you love…

I make gift bags for my friends every holiday—it’s my love language (yes, BBQ is also my love language… your girl’s hella lingual). I always include stuff for their husbands because I get along swimmingly with all of them 😊 I always pack extra Nerds Gummy Clusters for Jessie’s husband because it’s his favorite candy. She knows that, so I think she ate them on purpose 😜

• Lost Farm Strawberry Pink Jesus Live Resin Fruit Chews – partly because He is risen, but mostly because Easter falls on 420 😜
• Sugarfina Easter Bunny Tails
• Sour Punch Easter Straws
• Nerds Gummy Clusters Easter Variety Mix
• Haribo Easter Spring Mix Egg Hunt
• Sour Patch Kids Easter Bunnies Theater Box
• Starburst Easter Original Fun Size
• See’s Candies Scotchmallow Eggs
• Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs
• Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Easter Candy Gift Bag
• Twix Easter Minis
• Snickers Minis Milk Chocolate Easter Candy Bars
• Kit Kat Miniatures Milk Chocolate Wafer Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Crème Polka Dot Eggs Easter Candy

You guys, I’m not mad at this bunny filter. Hoppy Easter, y’all! 🐰

We always have little earthquakes in LA, but they never feel them in San Diego and vice versa. This morning, as I was in a group text with the girls chatting about one of their employees at UCSD asking to come in late today because they were still recovering from Coachella (like just say you aren’t feeling well and be on your way!), an earthquake hit SD, and it was so strong, I felt it in LA!

I hope everyone’s okay. Also, if this is an indication that the big one is coming, I should probably start wearing pants to bed.

*types in chonies*

It’s no secret that I love Moo Deng the pygmy hippo, but IDK if I’ll ever make it to Thailand to see her in person.

Also, I always have my Pic Stitch app cued up whenever the opportunity arises to do a side-by-side comparison 😆

Another pygmy hippo, Poppy, was born last December at Metro Richmond Zoo in Virginia. Domestic flights to Richmond from LAX are pretty cheap, plus I have hella Southwest points. Anyone want to go with me on a weekend trip to Richmond? 😆 If pygmy hippos aren’t your thing, CNN Travel also named Richmond #1 on their list of America’s Best Towns to Visit in 2024!

If you thought I was gonna doordash food from The Empanada Shop on National Empanada Day, you weren’t wrong.

I also got an apple pie churro empanada for dessert. Or shall I say mmm-panada 😋 (I’ll see myself out).

FYI, I hate raisins in empanadas, and I tell anyone who will listen. I don’t mind them in sweet stuff, but I don’t like raisins in savory food. I also don’t like coconut in savory food (coconut shrimp, thai food, etc.), but don’t mind it in dessert. I also don’t like pineapple in savory food. Ordering a Hawaiian pizza is blasphemous and a dealbreaker. You should be writing this down 📝

(via @kelseydianeblog)

The girls ask me who I’m fucking on the regular (my married friends like to live vicariously through me and think my single life in LA is way more exciting than it actually is).

You guys, the only thing keeping my bed warm at night is this Beetlejuice squishmallow Christine’s kids gave me for Christmas and this Moo Deng plushie my mom’s baby sister gave me as a thank you for treating them out in Japan.

Sidenote: The first thing I did when I found out about the tragic 7.7 earthquake in Thailand was make sure Moo Deng was ok 😅 (she’s at the Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Si Racha, Chonburi, Thailand).

…or how I ask for favors at work.

On an unrelated note, I just completed the company-mandated sexual harassment training in Workday this week, and can confirm that I’m wildly inappropriate 😅

It once took me 4 hours to drive down to San Diego for Christine’s baby shower, and I arrived with less than an hour left to partake in the taco cart. After stuffing myself with 5 tacos (the 5th one was a mistake!), I was told that the taco guy was staying an extra hour, and I didn’t need to eat all those tacos in record time.

Today, it took me 3 hours to drive down to SD for Chel’s twins and Rhea’s daughter’s birthday party in PQ. I forgot people do things differently above the 8 😅 At the last kids’ party I went to in eastside, there was a birria taco bar, a tostilocos bar, and an open bar 😆

When I got to the party, Shi’s daughter was running down the street and this is how I tried to stop her:

Also, this is me when someone asks me to watch their kid:

Another day, another donut (@ Randy’s Donuts)

They started jury selection today, and 80+ jurors and I didn’t get picked. We did have to sit in the gallery for hours while the 18 selected for the jury box answered questions from the judge and attorneys. We have to report again tomorrow, because they haven’t decided on the final jury yet. At least there’s good food spots in Inglewood, and the court bailiff is nice to look at 😅

File under: Shit we shouldn’t talk about in the work chat.

They’re installing Kandji on everyone’s computers at work. Supposedly it’s more secure (God forbid someone releases the new Snoop collabo early LOL), but I think they’re also monitoring us 👀 

Most of our employees use Teams (which we still use for department meetings), but the web team uses Slack on a daily basis because it’s easier for us to share screens and collaborate on that platform. Can they read Slack messages that have already been deleted? Asking for a friend (it’s me, I’m the friend). I sent some other unsavory messages during my work conference, so… 😅

Many, many, many moons ago, I sent the girls an email with the subject ‘NSFW’ containing this impressive dick pic some guy sent me that I most definitely did not ask for. A couple of them opened the email at work, because they didn’t know that ‘NSFW’ stood for ‘Not Safe For Work’ LOL! Oh, they learned that day…

Yes, I still have my emails from 2009, and yes, I still have that dick pic 😆 Only because I attached it to that email, though. I didn’t have an iPhone in 2009, and the actual text exists on an LG flip phone (only an outdated phone charger can unlock those secrets).

My sweet nephew is being bullied at school. We ride at dawn ✊🏻

One of my project managers emailed me that the art was approved for one of my jobs, except he must’ve been in a rush because he said that my fart was approved instead, and now I have cold brew all over my monitor 🤣

My boss, Gaye, has been in in-office meetings all day, so she left me in charge and I’m Gaye today 😆 I haven’t even taken a proper lunch, because people have been asking me questions all day, and I’m trying to get all my presentations done before I go on vacation.

At the last two Harry Potter Padres giveaway days, each house had their own item, so Pammie had to fight trade people to get all four houses 😅

It looks like there’s only one hat this time, but a flag pin for each house. I’ll just be at Hodad’s eating a single bacon cheeseburger while Pammie sorts that out.

Can’t a girl just get a Brazilian and keep high heels in her trunk for reasons other than she’s fucking someone??? 😅

Watching Babygirl and eating my feelings, HBU?

Nori and I go to Randy’s Donuts at least once a week (after eating salads at Tender Greens—Get off us). Their donuts are always fresh, so the donuts we got were still warm. I got chocolate on my hands and Nori was like, ‘Chocolate or poop?’ There’s this scene in Baby Mama (that I reference to my sister at every opportunity I can) where Maura Tirney asks her kid if what he has on his hands is chocolate or poop, and she licks it and confirms it’s chocolate 😆 I can’t believe Nori knew that reference. Who needs a man when you have friends who get you???

Christine doordashed me a breakfast burrito this morning. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is…

Update: I had to delete my message in my work slack saying I was going to watch Babygirl tonight, because I knew it was raunchy, but had no idea it was that raunchy, and my team doesn’t know me like that 😅 The whole time I was watching Nicole Kidman loudly having sex, all I could think was, ‘Can Gloria hear this shit?!’ 😳 She’s this old black lady who has lived next door to me since I moved in 13 years ago.  Save your money, guys. I have this movie illegally downloaded on my laptop if you really wanna see it. Or you can just watch free porn online 😆

I’ve been at a work conference this whole week (@ westdrift Manhattan Beach, Autograph Collection)

Since we work remotely, and it’s our team’s first year switching to the Digital department from Advertising, most of us haven’t met in person since it was our first time attending this Digital Summit, and none of us use our real photo on Slack 😆

Most of my coworkers stayed at the hotel, because even though they live in LA, they still live over an hour away, and our days started @ 8:30am and last night, we didn’t get back to the hotel till after 10pm! The hotel is only 8 minutes away from my apartment, so I drove each day. Except the first night, I had too much to drink at dinner and took a $10 uber home 😅

Nothing says LA like a Taco Bell Cantina and an injury lawyer billboard on Hollywood Blvd.

We took a ‘City of Lights’ bus tour of LA, even though most of us live here. We went to LACMA, the La Brea Tar Pits, Urban Lights, Hollywood Stars, Sunset Blvd. and the Promenade.

It’s been raining all week. Sucks for everyone who came to town hoping to escape the cold 🥶 LA really needed the rain after those devastating fires, though. During the tour, our guide got an evacuation alert for mudslides near his house 😅

Dinner & drinks (@ 1212 Santa Monica)

The presentations were pretty dry, but the creative team stayed entertained in the back sending inappropriate messages 😆

I love working remotely, but I miss these clowns already 🥲

(via @kelseydianeblog)

Sooo a sheer dress like the one Kanye’s wife wore to the Grammy’s is inappropriate? 😅

The new Ministry of Magic inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens at Universal Orlando this year, but I hate Trump more than I love Disney or Universal Studios (I barely even go to the ones we have in SoCal), so you won’t find me in Florida or any other red state in the foreseeable future.

(via @emp.press)

Can’t believe we have four more years of this bullshit 🙄

I used to use the Swarm app, where you would check in to the places you’d go. I used it partly for posterity’s sake (it would tell you the last time you were there), but mostly because I was the mayor of Crab Hut for years 😆

While I was using the app many years ago, this guy I used to mess with hit me up after he saw I checked into European Wax Center. I no longer use the Swarm app, go to Crab Hut, or fuck with fuckboys from Hollywood, but do I need to put a Brazilian on the books? At my age? 👵🏻😅

It’s getting harder and harder to get together with the girls with 4 kids between us (none of which are my own 😅), work trips (Pammie just came back from SF, Christine is going to Belgium in a couple weeks, and Pammie has to go to Scottsdale and the Philippines next month), vacations (Jessie’s going to Hawaii next week and Pammie and I are going to Japan next month), and California being literally on fire. We’ve had dinner at Fort Oak on the books for a while, but my car has had this thing dragging under it since earlier this week, and I thought I should get it checked out before driving back to LA in the rain last night. So we had pizza at Jessie’s instead, while Abe and his head lamp fixed my car LOL, and we played with Baby Isaac and loved on her pups, Koda and Milo. I left with my tummy full, my car fixed, my heart full, and absolutely covered in dog fur.

We were talking about a friend who drinks to the point that they black out, and I’m like, ‘I’ve never drank so much that I blacked out,’ to which Jessie and Christine listed all the times I got black out drunk in my 20s 😅 Does it count if it happened over 20 years ago??? Apparently it does, and I could never play ‘Never Have I Ever’ with these B’s 😆 Are you even really friends if you don’t call each other out on your shit???

Since we were celebrating Pammie’s December birthday and Christine and my January birthdays, Jessie got us pizookies from BJ’s! 🍪

Jessie: Did you know you can get it raw at BJ’s?
Everyone: 😳😳😳

If it wasn’t clear, I’m Team Justin (Baldoni, Timberlake, Bieber LOL).

I first saw him when I came across this post from Jane the Virgin‘s final table read, and I was like, ‘Who is this guy?!’ I binge-watched all five seasons and have watched everything Justin Baldoni has been in or directed since.

I’ve gotten bad vibes from Blake Lively since before Gossip Girl, when she was in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (20 years ago!). Plus, how trustworthy can a person be who chooses Taylor Swift as the godmother to her children??? Like, have you not one closer friend? 😆

(via @solomongiorgio)

Jessie was checking if I meant to follow Trump and Vance. I realized I was still following @potus and @vp from Biden and Kamala’s administration literally 3 days ago. You guys, I’m hardly on social media. So much so, that I tried to do the Top 9 once, and I couldn’t because I didn’t even have 9 posts that year 😅 Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to realize I was following those idiots.

Please check your social media accounts! And if you meant to follow these fools, why are we friends???

This B-sian doesn’t have Monday off for MLK 😅

Shi couldn’t celebrate my birthday with me this year, so she doordashed me some breakfast from King’s Hawaiian 😋🤙🏼

I like to spend my birthday surrounded by wieners, HBU? (@ Puppies & Yoga)

I live at least an hour south of any of the fires burning in LA right now. You can’t see the smoke from here, but you can smell it in the air, and my car’s covered in ash. We didn’t see any smoke on the way up to West Hollywood for puppy yoga, but we did see this injury lawyer billboard 😆

We ate at Food Network’s Brooke Williamson’s beachside restaurant, Playa Provisions. Proceeds from their fish tacos went to wildfire relief, so of course that’s what I ordered. It was delicious!

Pop-prosecco? Yes, please.

I hardly ever go to the beach, even though I live literally 2 miles from the ocean on Manhattan Beach Boulevard. Donna & David happened to be in town for a wedding this weekend, and as San Diegans who moved to the east coast after high school, they like to go to the beach whenever they’re back in California.

‘Go to the beach,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.

Pardon my ashy white legs LOL, I had a little accident and slipped on some rocks 😅

Fun Fact: I’ve always wanted to be Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice for Halloween.

I instacarted some non-perishables and necessities for families and pets who have been displaced due to the fires. The YMCA in Koreatown is accepting donation drop-offs.

Pammie collected money from the girls and got me an awesome Moo Deng shirt that I wore to puppy yoga, and had leftover money, so I said to just donate it to one of these major organizations accepting monetary donations for the wildfires: LAFD, American Red Cross, Direct Relief, World Central Kitchen, or the Salvation Army. They need it more than I do. Please give what you can 🥺

I hate it here ✌🏼

Update: Just me and my ex-boyfriend planning our demise. Catch you on the flippity flip 👋🏼

Now I really feel like an asshole 😅

Jeffrey’s dad was evacuated from Altadena (north of Pasadena) early in the morning yesterday. Luckily, he’s okay, but I can’t say the same about his neighborhood.

LA is huge and the most populous county in the United States (nearly 10 million people—its population is greater than that of 40 individual U.S. states!). I’m very far from any of the fires ripping through LA right now, so I’m okay. This is like when my mom asks me to bring home a dozen potato balls from Porto’s when I visit SD. She thinks that since I live in LA, I’m close to everything in LA. It takes me an hour to get to the closest Porto’s after work on a Friday night! She’s lucky I love potato balls her.

Stay safe, LA…

Are you even friends if you don’t coordinate your outfits??? 😜

Baby boy had his first chicken adobo last night, and I wanted to be just like him, so I made some for dinner, except I ate it with hella rice (it’s raining today and I’m carboloading to keep warm—is that how it works?).

I have no debt and no kids, and my job allows me to afford the lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to 😅 In the end, you can only depend on yourself, and I’ve never wanted to be financially dependent on someone else, especially a man ✌🏻

If I could’ve given birth to you when I was in high school, you’re much too young for me 😅

Before my department joined the Digital group and had a Teams meeting last month, I hadn’t had a meeting since 2020. I haven’t even met most of my web team because they started after the pandemic. I want to make a good impression at our in-office meeting tomorrow, and my anxiety is through the roof, so I’ll probably take an extra dose of Prozac 😅

I’m really self-conscious about my voice. My speech was altered after the stroke. I worked with a speech therapist for a few months, but it wasn’t covered by my insurance, so it was $100 out-of-pocket per weekly session! I definitely sound better almost two years later, but my speech is still delayed and some people have a hard time understanding me. After the stroke, I sounded like Marge from The Simpsons, but now my voice sounds something more akin to Squirt from Finding Nemo 😅 Other than my voice, you can’t really tell I had a stroke. I have a hard time writing by hand and opening jars LOL, but I can still walk, drive, type, photoshop, etc.

Most people don’t know I had a stroke, and I always feel compelled to explain why my voice is like this when I meet new people or haven’t seen someone since before the stroke.

I have a friend in public health who has been WFH since 2020 (with the occasional in-office executive meeting), who got a new VP who believes face-to-face is better. She’s being required to go in 3x a week now (people managers 5x a week—her old boss quit as soon as the new VP announced the requirement). She’s allowed to pick which 3 days she’s in office (which tells me being in-office is arbitrary, because her team won’t all be in-office on the same days), and people who live too far to come in (whether they moved or got hired after the pandemic) will be out of a job and given a severance package, but must continue working there for the next few months to get that severance until the requirement is in effect. She’s a high performer, but the reason she’s so good is because she WFH—she’s able to attend zoom meetings at 6am with Europe and 6pm with Japan, all while being supermom to her three young kids. Another friend of mine works at UCSD and has a hybrid schedule, so has to go in a couple days a week and had to hire a nanny to watch the baby she had last year. My friend who works in the print department at my work has to come into the office every day, and she lives in OC! So me having to go into the office once a month for this digital summit is no bigs.

(via @littlefenders)

Update: I was anxious over nothing. The meeting was only an hour and a half, and the VP took the web team out to lunch at North Italia afterwards. Since some complained that the presentation shown on the TV was too small, the sound wasn’t loud enough, and parking sucked, the VP suggested the next monthly meeting be held in a private event space up the street at Topgolf! Now that’s a meeting I could get behind…

(via @parker.carbone)

When your coworker just gets you 🖤

(via @sbrbnla)

It’s gonna be a shit show in LA tomorrow, and it’s gonna take a week to fix the gate in my parking garage (though when someone broke into our garage the last time, my car and my mango hi-chews went untouched LOL there were BMWs, Teslas and a Maserati in my garage—nobody was trying to fuck with my Mazda hatchback). I’m driving down to SD tonight and spending the week there anyway.

I was gonna drive down tomorrow morning, but there’s been a company re-org and now the web department reports to someone new and we have a teams meeting in the morning. You guys, I haven’t had a meeting since 2020 😅 I don’t even know what half my team looks like because they started after the pandemic.  Also, I haven’t spoken to any of these people (off Slack or email) since the stroke. I’m not even sure most of them know I even had a stroke! I was sure my boss told them why I was out for 6 months, but I was chatting on Slack with my project manager, and I made this offhanded joke about having a stroke, and she had no idea. I’m like, ‘What did my boss even tell these people about my 6-month absence???’ The higher ups knew and didn’t even send me flowers while I was in the hospital, so IDK why I expected my coworkers to know. It happened right before the superbowl, and my friends saw the big Snoop commercial and were like, ‘They can afford Snoop for the superbowl, but they can’t afford to send their employee of over 10 years flowers in the hospital?!’ Yes, I’m still bitter, and yes, I dried my tears with the raise and bonus they gave me while I was on medical leave.

Anyway, here’s some actual footage of me driving in LA traffic:

Surround yourself with people who care if you’re not pregnant alive 🥰

My phone was blowing up with the news of One Direction’s Liam Payne’s untimely death today.

This was like when Prince died and everyone was texting me about it (except Shi, who was sending me corgi videos LOL).

So we play, play, play all the same old games
And we wait, wait, wait for the end to change
And we take, take, take it for granted that we’ll be the same
But we’re making all the same mistakes

IDK if it’s because I’m on my period or because I’m a teenage girl trapped in a 42-year-old’s body, but Jesus, I got emotional listening to this 1D song 😭

Nori and I were sitting outside Starbucks, and I was looking at the bank next door, and I was like, ‘How come nobody’s in there? Are they closed?’ This went on for a few minutes until I saw this big ass sign on the door that they were closed today for Columbus Day.

me: I thought Columbus Day was canceled?
Nori: It’s been replaced by another day. In… Indi… Indonesian…
me: Indigenous???
Nori: This better not make your blog!

I have trouble pronouncing some words after the stroke (vegetable and adhesive, among others LOL), but I can say ‘indigenous’ 🤣🤣🤣

Good Thing (@ Kia Forum)

I have made the decision not to answer your calls
‘Cause I put everything out there and I got nothing at all

Another time, we were talking about both of us having seen Sam Smith live before, and we realized we went to the same show in LA before we knew each other. We were trying to remember who opened for him, and she was like, ‘That guy who sings that one song… Idaho?’ and then I remembered, ‘BUDAPEST! George Ezra.’

IDK how I got ‘Budapest’ from ‘Idaho’ but I got there 😅

Anyway, according to this article, Wal-Mart and Chick-Fil-A are both open today LOL.

At Chel’s sister’s baby shower today, Shi and I played a game where I had to bottle feed her like a baby. She couldn’t stop laughing, so she kept choking on the bottle 😆

I usually kill at baby shower games. I once won a dirty diaper game by identifying 10 out of 10 melted candy bars (some without even having to smell them). Just let me have my weird ass flex 😜

I completed another StepBet challenge, but I still have 87 more miles to do by the end of October in this Nike Run Club challenge 😅 We don’t win any money, but bragging rights are enough motivation for me 😆

If you’ve ever messaged me anything in this lifetime, I don’t ever delete shit (my new phone holds 1TB, and my cloud has been full for two years). Anything you’ve said can and will be used against you if you ever betray me. Consider this your miranda warning 😆

Addendum: If your message incriminates me too, I’ll never use it against you 😅

I don’t remember what I wore yesterday, but I remember what you said in the group chat on November 22, 2022 at 4:43pm 🤭

Also, I don’t know what my blood type is, but I know for damn sure I’m a Hufflepuff 💛🖤

When your boss’ name is ‘Gaye’ and you have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy 😅 I’m the most senior web designer after my director, so she always puts me in charge when she’s out.

Also, is this offensive to the LGBTQIA2S+ community? 😅 I was going to remind the team that I’m Gaye on Monday, but now I’m rethinking my approach…

(via @tazdog416)

I will def not be sharing this pronoun joke with the team 😅

Update: My coworkers passed the vibe check

When people ask me what made me move back to SD, I’ll say it was The Condom Concierge 😜

I get my lashes done once a month by this lady who lives in Arizona. She lives part time in Tucson to help out with her grandkids, but she still has a lot of clients in SD, and she comes to my sister’s or Christine’s house so it’s convenient for us—Yes, Christine and I have the same Brazilian waxer and lash artist. I’ve even gone to her eyebrow lady when I needed a serious threading in a pinch. If you don’t share the same estheticians, are you even friends? 😜

We were trying to schedule our October appointment at our last session, and I wanted my lashes to be refreshed for my Halloween costume, so I was like, ‘Are you available the week of Halloween? Will you be with your grandkids?’ and she was like, ‘Oh, I don’t celebrate Halloween. I’m Christian.’ 😳

I also finally saw my neighbor today. Everyone else around me is still there from when I lived in the building before the stroke, but my next door neighbor moved in while I was gone. I smiled at her and said hello because I was coming when she was going, but she just grimly smiled at me and kept walking. She probably saw my Halloween decorations and was thinking, ‘Oh, so you’re the witch who lives next door.’ She’s lucky she’s quiet, or else I’d put a curse on her 😆

After we went to the Rams game, we took the bus out of traffic because it was impossible to get a rideshare at the stadium. The last stop was in Playa del Rey, down the street from Chef Brooke Williamson‘s resto, Playa Provisions. We were gonna grab dinner there before heading home, but they had a private event that night and weren’t accepting walk-ins, just reservations! I forgot you either have to make a res or wait in a ridiculously long line to eat at a good resto in LA 😅

Anyway, I would never choose to have Indian for dinner, but I’m also easygoing and down to try anything (except baby animals and Highland cows LOL). I avoided all the lamb dishes, of course, but the malai rigatoni was def something to write home about (@ Pijja Palace)

It was like an Indian take on perfectly al dente vodka pasta. Maybe I like Indian fusion, because I really enjoyed the Tandoori Chicken Poutine at Maneet Chauhan’s restaurant in Nashville, too.

This place was also oddly a sports bar, so I got to catch the Padres playoff game during dinner. They won again and swept the Braves to win the wild card series!

People were asking me if I was gonna go to a playoff game at Dodger Stadium, but the last time I went to a Padres/Dodgers game at that stadium (last week LOL), Padres lost big time, so I don’t wanna jinx them 😅

The series is best-of-five in a 2-2-1 format, so game 3 will be in SD. I’ll be in SD next week, but game 3 falls on my dad’s birthday, so I’m hoping the Dodgers don’t sweep, and there’s a game 4 I can possibly go to in SD.

Also, I might have to go to a game if someone’s able to find me this cute ass Padres jacket Alex Morgan (SD Wave soccer player) wore to a game last month 🔥

Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon

After dinner, we went to Larchmont Village for Jeni’s ice cream and cookies from Levain Bakery, and this guy was playing ‘Harvest Moon’ on the sax on the street. It’s a Neil Young song, but I only know it because Lord Huron did a cover 😆

On the way home, we saw the coolest house decorated for Halloween in Highland Park 🖤

If anyone wants to come over, I have garlic breath and I’m wearing no pants. Spread the word 🗣️

Do you stay up late at night googling if people eat Highland cows or are you normal?

(via @best_vacationrentals)

I found this Airbnb in Canada that has Highland cows on the property.

Nori’s been to Scotland, but she didn’t get to see any Highland cows (they’re from the Scottish Highlands) while she was there. I found some places in North America you can see these cute hairy cows, and then I went down the google rabbit hole wondering if they slaughter them here.

I love BBQ (smoked beef ribs are my favorite), and now I feel like I have to ask what kind of cow I’m eating at restaurants like in Portlandia 😅

As a rule, I don’t eat baby animals (lamb, veal or suckling anything)—just adult animals who have lived a full life LOL. And now I have to add Highland cows (at any age) to that list 😆

(via @meekanyce)

Am I nasty? (Don’t answer that).

The Padres just secured their spot in the playoffs! ⚾ Also, my dad got jokes 😂

I don’t always talk shit about babies, but when I do, they’re the kid of an ex 😅

The news of Dave Grohl came out that he had a baby outside his marriage. It’s unfortunate for his wife and kids, but it doesn’t make me like the Foo Fighters’ music any less. I think The Strokes frontman, Julian Casablancas, is a total asshole (I’ve been to a couple of their shows where he proved it by walking off the stage early), but I still love The Strokes’ music and his side project band, The Voidz.

I’m not completely forgiving, though. I don’t listen to R. Kelly or Diddy’s music anymore 😅

Said I know that it’s somebody’s birthday tonight somewhere
And I know somebody’s gonna celebrate tonight somewhere

My birthdays haven’t been the same since R. Kelly was convicted of child sexual abuse in 2022 😅

me: When did we go to that Foo Fighters show in Phoenix? Last year?
Pammie: No, two years ago. We didn’t go to Innings Fest last year.
me: Why didn’t we go last year?
Pammie: Because you had a stroke!
me: Oh, yeah 😅

*Adds the Claim Jumper on Harbor to our list* 😆

I was woken up today by an earthquake in Malibu. I just went back to sleep, partly because it was 4:22 in the morning, but mostly because the earthquake was only 3.6 (when it comes to earthquakes and boys, I only get up for a 6 or above 😆).

I had to use the stove last night, so I moved my new air fryer toaster oven from on top of the stove to on top of the fridge and pushed the glass canisters of sugar and flour to the edge. ‘They’ll be fine up here as long as there isn’t an earthquake,’ I thought.

This reminds me of the time I moved out of my apartment in La Mesa. Shi and I set my bed frame on its side to see if I could get it out of my bedroom without having to break it down. After finding out it could fit through the door in one piece, we left it propped up against the wall.

This is the conversation that followed:

me: Aren’t you gonna help me put the bed frame back down?
Shi: Just leave it. It’ll be easier to move tomorrow.
me: What if it falls on me while I’m sleeping?
Shi: It’s NOT going to fall on you!
me: But what if there’s an earthquake?
Shi: There’s not going to be a damn earthquake, crazy!

Can you guess what woke me up the next morning? I survived the earthquake, obvi… no thanks to you, Shirley May!

I’ll make concessions for a lot of things as long as you don’t force your beliefs on me, but I draw the line at Raiders fans 😆

There’s this sharp ass agave plant under the doorbell in front of my sister’s house. When I was installing the Ring, I dropped one of the screws and couldn’t get it because it fell into the plant, so I had to order spare parts. Before the spares arrived, my dad tried to get the screw in the plant even though I warned him the plant was really sharp and it was impossible. He ended up poking himself on one of the sharp ass plant spikes and asking for Neosporin. It’s a good thing my sister’s my father’s daughter, because there was Neosporin and sanitizer in her bathroom. I can guarantee you there’s no Neosporin in my apartment in LA 😅

I go to baseball games for the food and post-game fireworks. Also, on my walk this afternoon, this guy who always says hi to me asked me if they won. I was wearing my Padres hat, but mostly to protect my face from the sun 😅 Just like I only wear my Dodgers hat when I have bedhead, and I never wear my Padres hat in LA and vice versa. Good thing I looked up their stats for this chat string, because I was able to tell the guy that they have a night game today, so they haven’t played yet, but they won their last three games 😆

I had a shitty day at work today, so I took a walk to Starbucks, got my steps in, and got my new favorite drink: an Iced Mocha Latte with no whip and 2 pumps of Cinnamon Dolce Syrup (it tastes just like a Mexican mocha!). I feel so much better, but I might have a menty b later, IDK.

Whenever I’m having a shitty day at work, I just remind myself that at least I’m doing better than the people my sister had to lay off today because of a company re-org, and remind myself how much I’m getting paid to put up with this shit 😆

I love Bobby Flay.

Even though I used to think he was an asshole ever since he jumped on the cutting board during an Iron Chef battle against Chef Morimoto in 2000 (I was more offended when he yelled, ‘Raise the roof, yo!’ tbh) and he’s since been thrice-divorced, but I kinda like assholes 🤪

I used to watch him on Throwdown, and now I watch him on Beat Bobby Flay, Bobby’s Triple Threat and BBQ Brawl. He’s still an asshole, but he’s an asshole who can cook 😜

I made Bobby Flay’s Creamed Green Chili Rice with Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs. It turned out amazing even though I had to consult my friend who cooks all the time 😅

Update: I got the stamp of approval from Pammie, Dennis, and my sister’s brother-in-law, Paul, who dropped by for dinner. They finished the rice! I’m finally redeemed from when Pammie and her husband said my adobo was too salty two years ago. Their hurtful comments still keep me up at night 😅

Let it be known that I’m officially on the prowl for a man named ‘Joey’ 😏

A good way to insult me is to say I look darker LOL, and I have never once been mistaken for a local in Hawaii. I’m too fair-skinned and much too loud 😅 (my Cali vernacular screams tourist vibes).

Also, I should clarify that I only got drunk in Christine’s pool because she and her husband were there watching the kids. I don’t drink when I’m watching children (mostly because people never leave their kids with me).

Actual footage of me babysitting:

I’ve dated and been with guys during this timeline, but no one I’d call my boyfriend and def no one I’d marry, have kids with or divorce 😅

Oh, well. I’m just here for the drama 😜

Ever since I repotted our coin plant, most of the leaves have fallen out and it has been slowly dying. My sister texted me this photo of this luscious coin plant at her hotel in Hawaii, and it’s a full moon tonight, so I’m charging my crystals on the rooftop and put the coin plant next to it so it can receive its energy LOL.

Full moon, do your thing ✨

Update:

Dear Shirley May,

Today I walked to Mcdonald’s to get my steps in and say hi to all my dog friends, made cookies for my grandma’s party tomorrow, drove by myself (for the first time since the stroke and didn’t kill anybody!) to Christine’s club pool, and went swimming with her, Francis and the kids. They brought beer and seltzers, and I was way too drunk to drive home, so Christine drove my car home while Francis followed, all the while Dylan was screaming in the backseat, ‘Thank you for the cookies, Auntie Mayan!!!’

So… a typical pre-stroke Saturday 😜

You have a secret lover for five years and no one ever lets you forget it 😅

My dog friends:

My sister and her husband are vacationing in Hawaii for the week. Partly because I didn’t want to schlep all my work shit to my parents’ house (I have to bring my gigantic work-issued desktop, because IT won’t let us access the server from our personal laptops anymore), but mostly because I’m a grown ass woman who doesn’t need supervision, I’m staying at my sister’s house by myself.

No secret lovers here! But I will be walking around in my chonies 😜

People think I’m hilarious, IDK why I’m single ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Two natural disasters in one day? I’m ready ✌🏻

We watched It Ends With Us at the theater, and I didn’t read the book or watch the trailer beforehand, but Justin Baldoni directed and starred in it, and I’ll watch anything he’s in. If you don’t know who Justin Baldoni is, he was Raf in Jane the Virgin and the love of my life.

I’m just gonna leave this here 😍

This movie def made me cry, but Christine was crying throughout the entire movie, even the parts that weren’t sad LOL. She was already crying before the movie started when they showed the trailer for We Live In Time. To be fair, I also cried during that trailer.

Christine loves Justin Baldoni, too, so I asked if she’s seen Five Feet Apart, another movie Justin directed but did not star in, and I sobbed through in 2019. She found it streaming on Prime, watched it alone at home, and has been crying all day 😅

Hello
I’ve waited here for you
Everlong

The last time I saw the Foo Fighters was a couple years ago at Innings Fest just a month before their drummer died. Jessie asked me if I wanted her extra tickets, but I’ve been in a mood. If I would’ve known she had a suite, I would’ve snapped out of my mood real quick 😜

Whenever I see someone my age with facial piercings, I’m like, ‘Is that what I look like?’ 😳

When I was younger, I thought I’d love things forever (as evident by the glow-in-the-dark stars still on the ceiling of my old bedroom at my parents’ house that I stuck up there with permanent adhesive). I used to have my tongue pierced, but only took my tongue ring out after I had my lip pierced in my early 20s. I was in the Mcdonald’s drive-thru during covid, and I briefly pulled down my mask, and the guy taking my order made eyes at me and was all, ‘I really like your lip ring.’ I pinned him with a look and was like, ‘This piercing is older than you, kid.’ 👵🏻 In unrelated news, I’m still single. I seem to only get hit on by seedy tow truck drivers and kids who work at Mcdonald’s and were born after I graduated high school 😅

I would take the lip ring out, but I don’t think the hole will close. I got my ears pierced when I was a baby, and I hardly ever wear earrings, yet the holes are still there. I’d like to have a plastic surgeon remove the scar tissue and sew the lip ring hole up. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a good plastic surgeon in LA 😜