Waiting for October to end like 💀

I Amazon Primed this full-sized skeleton with plans to propel it from my new apartment’s balcony, but I had it delivered to my sister’s house bc I was down there for my dad’s birthday.

I picked the busiest month to move cities – With so many birthdays to celebrate, I’ve been driving back and forth to SD. It’s also MLB playoff season, but the Padres snipped that in the butt real quick LOL

(I can never say ‘nipped it in the bud’ correctly after seeing this LOL)

Anyway, I’ve been busy packing up my apartment that I’ve lived in for 13 years, trying to sell my furniture on FB Marketplace and fielding inquiries from mostly flakes, making all the arrangements so I’ll have wifi and all the necessary utilities at the new apartment, I just found out the most senior web designer after me is going on medical leave, so I’m busier at work than usual, and on top of that, it’s frickin’ Halloween and I’m stretched too thin to be the fun, spooky auntie this year 🎃

I’m abandoning my clear obsession with Mid-Century furniture (JK, I’m just moving to another apartment and buying new Mid-Century furniture that fits the space better). Anyone interested in buying some of it? Everything comes fully assembled, if that helps sway your decision at all – If you’d rather test your relationship by trying to assemble furniture together, I’ll just pray for you, I guess 🙏🏼

Full disclosure: All items are pick-up only in LA (Redondo Beach). I live on the third floor of my building, but there’s an elevator. You’ll need a second person to help you carry most of this shit to your car, so please bring a friend bc I ain’t the one 😅 Prices are already heavily discounted and firm.

West Elm Mid-Century Adjustable Curtain Rod SOLD!

• Price: $60 (retails for $149)
• Condition: Like new. Put it up once and never touched it again. Smoke-free home.
• Dimensions: 44″-108″
• Finish: Carbon/Antique Brass

West Elm White Sheer European Flax Linen Curtains, Set of 4

• Price: $100 for the set of 4 (retails for $436)
• Condition: Like new. Smoke-free, pet-free home. No stains. Freshly laundered.
• Dimensions: Each panel – 48″ (W) x 89″ (L) (originally 96″ L, but professionally tailored to 89″ L with tags kept on)
• Features: Woven from premium flax and washed for a luxe, lived-in look. Adds lightweight texture to windows. Soft drapery lets in bright, gently diffused light. Crafted in a Fair Trade Certified™ facility.

Nathan James Tamlin Wall Light Fixture (comes with light bulb)

• Price: $40 (retails for $75.99)
• Condition: Like new. Smoke-free home.
• Features: Renters rejoice! Meet Tamlin, our plug-in wall light perfect for reading nooks, living rooms, and bedsides. Extending from a circular wall plate is an elegant vintaged brass finish metal arm with a matte black round bell shade. Its articulating feature allows you to direct the light left or right and is dimmer compatible, for those nights you can’t put your book down. This wall light is a must-have for small spaces, apartments, and townhomes and can be placed in your favorite spot without worry thanks to the included cord cover.
• Finish: Antique Brass/Matte Black

Boho Driftwood Macrame Wall Hanging

• Price: $40 (retails for $70)
• Condition: New. Never been used.
• Features: Hanging length is easily adjustable
• Dimensions: 32″ (W) x 15″ (H)

Ikea Mongstad Mirror

• Price: $80 (retailed for $200 – now discontinued and highly coveted according to the internet)
• Condition: Like new. Put it up once and never touched it again. Smoke-free home.
• Dimensions: 37″ (H) x 75″ (W) x 2″ (D)
• Features: This large versatile mirror can be used in several ways. You can lean it against a wall or hang it both vertically or horizontal. I hung it horizontally with two screws and a prayer, and it has stayed up for 13 years through several California earthquakes.

Walker Edison Xuma Modern Armless Low Back Counter Stool, Set of 2 SOLD!

• Price: $60 for set (retails for $159)
• Condition: Like new. Used mostly for decor only.
• Features: Upholstered in high-quality synthetic leather for a stylish and easy-to-clean finish. Sturdy steel legs provide reliable support and enhance the modern design.
• Dimensions: 34 1/2″ (H) x 19″ (W) x 22″ (D)

West Elm Curved Terrace Nightstand SOLD!

• Price: $100 (retailed for $199, now discontinued)
• Condition: Like new. Smoke-free home.
• Dimensions: 24″ (H) x 19″ (W) x 15″ (D)
• Features: The goes-with-anything Antique Brass finish is easy to integrate into modern and traditional decors alike. This airy nightstand’s bottom shelf is mirrored, reflecting up toward the wide, tempered glass top.

Opalhouse Mid-Century Touraco Dresser

• Price: $100 (retailed for $260 unassembled – now discontinued)
• Condition: Top wood has imperfections on the bottom right where my iPad got stuck to it on a hot summer day 🤪 (shown above), but you can cover the top with a cool Mexican blanket like I have 💃🏻 Otherwise in great condition.
• Features: Decorative 3-drawer dresser keeps things stored in style. White and brown colors create an eye-catching look perfect for any space. Neutral colors blend seamlessly with any color scheme.
• Dimensions: 34″ (H) x 36″ (W) x 18″ (D)

OneFortyThree Mid-Century Modern Roxy Rocker SOLD!

• Price: $100 (retails for $775)
• Condition: Barely used, was mostly for decor only, wood has normal wear and tear
• Features: Molded plywood shell crafted from natural real veneer Walnut. The molded shape is designed for comfort, with dense 1″ thick foam pads providing extra comfort with a low profile. Padding is upholstered in genuine Harris Tweed in Sunshine Yellow. The base is made from welded steel fabricated in-house, powder-coated in satin black. The solid wood rocker skids are durable and crafted from solid wood for a smooth rocking motion.
• Dimensions: 35″ (H) x 30″ (W) x 30″ (D)

Mid-Century Modern Side Table

• Price: $60
• Condition: Like new
• Features: Made in LA. Brown wood with 12″ hairpin legs made of welded steel.
• Dimensions: (Overall) 19″ (H) x 20″ (W) x 14.5″ (D)

Round Wood Boho Design Wall Storage Bamboo Shelf SOLD!

• Price: $60 (retails for $149 on Wayfair)
• Condition: New in opened box, never been used. Smoke-free home.
• Features: Large 31″ Round Frame – This spacious round wall shelf lets you display photos, candles, and plants without clutter, helping you keep your room stylish and organized. Natural Bamboo & Wood Build – Crafted with eco-friendly bamboo and wood, this boho wall decor adds warmth and texture while providing durable wood wall storage. Versatile Home & Office Use – Whether mounted in a bedroom, living room, or office, this round wall shelf enhances any space with charm and practical functionality. Two-Tier Storage Design – With two wide shelves, this bamboo shelf solves the problem of small-space storage, giving you plenty of room for daily essentials or decor. Timeless Boho Style – The handcrafted woven look and natural brown finish offer a unique boho wall decor piece that effortlessly uplifts modern, rustic, or eclectic interiors.
• Dimensions: 31″ (H) x 31″ (W) x 5″ (D)

LG Smart Dual Inverter Portable Air Conditioner with 10000 BTU Cooling Capacity, 500 sq. ft. Cooling Area, in White with Sliding Door Kit

• Price: $300 includes sliding door kit (retails for $649 without sliding door kit)
• Condition: Like new
• Features: Saved my life during The Great Heat Wave of 2022. Works fast to cool down my 500 sq. ft. studio. The LG DUAL Inverter air conditioners are the best in cooling innovation. This ultra quiet unit operates at 44 dB in sleep mode, almost as quiet as a library. In addition, the DUAL Inverter allows the unit to operate efficiently saving you as much as 40% on energy costs. 3 cooling and fan speeds and a 24 hour timer allow you to create a cooling schedule to suit your needs. The auto-swing air vent helps direct the flow of air where It is needed most whether cooling, dehumidifying or just circulating air. If there is a power outage, the auto restart feature will automatically turn your unit back on when power is restored. Other features include a remote control, easy rolling casters, removable/washable filter and a check filter alert.
• Dimensions: 30.43″ (H) x 19.41″ (W) x 18.11″ (D)

Ikea Kivik Sectional Sofa

• Price: $300 (retails for $1399 unassembled)
• Condition: Used, but still firm. Some light discoloration in the fabric on the bottom right corner of the chaise (pictured)
• Features: Very comfortable. Guests say it’s more comfortable to sleep on than most beds! Can be disassembled for easier transport. The chaise can be separated from the two-seat piece, and so can both arm rests on either side. Since chaise can be separated, it can go on the left or right side of the sofa, whichever suits your space best. Fabric covers are removable, machine washable, and can be changed. Pet and smoke-free home.
• Dimensions: 32 5/8″ (H) x 110 1/4″ (W) x 64 1/8″ (D)

This is how the sofa arrives if you order it unassembled from Ikea. You’re welcome.

Two years in LA today. Where did my life go???

The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)

Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!

…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.

…or my neighbors after I almost burned down our apartment building this past weekend.

My lease is up and the only hot neighbor I had moved out this month, so I’m pretty sure the universe is telling me that it’s time to move out of the sticks, fellas.

Hey girl.

I’m officially settled into my new home on Manhattan Beach Boulevard! I hired a moving company because I live in a third-floor walk-up, and I may or may not still be sore from bringing my TV up the other night! Ha. I was hoping the movers would look like Ryan Gosling à la Blue Valentine, and they did—except they looked less like Ryan Gosling in the first half of the movie and more like Ryan Gosling after they fast forwarded a decade and ripped his heart out (along with most of his hair). Them’s the breaks!

I regrettably opted for self-installation.

Apartment hunting just got easier.

After waking up every day at an unholy hour, driving upwards of 2 hours each way, putting 550 miles on my car, and paying $46 in toll fees to commute back and forth between my sister’s place in the OC and my job in Manhattan Beach, I’ve finally moved into my new place in Redondo Beach! I couldn’t be happier that I’m only 2 streets away from my work now.

When I found this steal on Craigslist and submitted my rental application, the landlord who lives upstairs mentioned that he loves Filipino food and has never met a Filipino he didn’t like. I mean… if he only leased the bottom floor of his townhouse to me because he thinks I know how to cook Filipino food, then he’s in for 3 months of disappointment!

Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.

Manhattan Beach! I could get used to this…

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

Clearly, San Diego was sad to see me go.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!

Oh my glob, you guys!

You know I’m moving, not dying, right? Ha. I’m only going to be a couple hours away. Besides, I have a year’s worth of free Nothing Bundt Cake bundlets to claim from their Mission Valley store, so you know I’ll be down in SD at least once a month (if you thought I was leaving my voucher with one of you clowns, you were mistaken!).

Last Halloween, I woke up face down in a hotel bathroom and endured the walk of shame (and by shame I mean glory) downtown in my costume the next morning. This year, I decided to keep a low profile and skip Halloween altogether. Instead, I spent the weekend moving all my extra furniture out of my overpriced storage unit. All I have left in there is my lovesac and dining table, so make sure to check out my listings while you’re perusing the casual encounters section of Craigslist if you’re interested.

I spent most of Saturday afternoon loading everything into the U-haul with the help of my mom and sister. Moving furniture ruins relationships, and I’m surprised we’re all still speaking after this weekend! I thanked them with Phil’s, so I’m pretty sure I’m forgiven for those three painful hours of labor. Sunday, though? Not so much…

While I was grateful that Jessie took my sectional off my hands, I was less enthused about the fact that she lives on the fifth floor of her building. Three girls moving two couches down a busy street in Little Italy was truly a sight to behold. We tried to get some boys to help us beforehand, but we were 0 for 3. One of my friends said he had to go to work on his day off to show his Halloween costume, another had to help his mom with her political campaign, and the maintenance guy at her building did not seem at all interested in lending a hand. Whatever happened to chivalry? My entire body’s sore now, jerks.

We did everything short of bending time and space to get those couches into Jessie’s condo. She rewarded us with some chocolate cupcakes with pumpkin cream cheese frosting that she whipped up in her KitchenAid stand mixer. Not only does she now have my beloved microsuede sectional, but she also has the appliance of my dreams. At least she’s allowing me visitation rights! Afterward, we still had to go up to the OC to drop off the U-haul at Pammie’s. While we were putting together her bed, we heard the doorbell ring and thought it was the takeout we ordered, but it was a bunch of kids in costumes! In all this furniture hoopla, we had completely forgotten about Halloween.

The Cake Boss said that he pictures me living in South Park. Apparently, it’s where hipsters go to get married and have dogs. So what he’s saying is… he thinks I’m hip, he wants to marry me, and possibly raise an English bulldog together. Did anyone else get that???

This is only my second time apartment-hunting. Last year, Pammie told me, “Whatever you do, don’t sign anything.” And what did I do? First apartment I saw, I signed a lease. It was like that one time she said, “Whatever you do, don’t close the garage.” And what did I do? I walked straight to the garage, hit the garage door opener, and closed the garage on her car. It’s like I heard everything but the “don’t” part. Anyway, I was locked into a year lease with a beautiful apartment that cost entirely too much money. I knew people renting 2-bedrooms for cheaper than what I was paying for my single. There were times when I would make spaghetti and eat it for five days straight—I’m exaggerating zero percent. It was like I was in Café World and I had whipped up too many servings, except there were no café points earned from eating all that spaghetti—just carbs. I’m on Craiglist everyday, and I’ve learned that listings with the words “charming,” “section 8 approved,” and/or “drive by first and then call” are generally no bueno. Finding a nice, cheap apartment in SD is hard these days. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m partial to granite countertops, crown moulding, stainless steel appliances and hardwood floors. Hey, I can’t help it if my modern espresso furniture refuses to coexist with wall-to-wall carpeting.

It took six friends and five days to put one year into twelve boxes and fourteen trash bags. Thanks a heap to Pammie, Shi, Flex, Errol, Jay, Frank and Will for helping me move in the rain! Rest in peace, my beautiful bookcase. I’m sorry you were damaged beyond repair when we tried to squeeze you into my freakishly small storage space.

NOTE TO SELF: Pizza and beer AFTER my friends move my things next time. And not during the Holiday Bowl. And not on the one day it rains. And maybe invest in some furniture pads. “Protection? She don’t know nothin’ about that!” Haha. Boo whore.

A lot of shit went down in this place. Attention must be paid.

Oh, I paid 😉 As Shi said, if these walls could talk, we’d pay good money to shut them up!

Since Pammie went back up to the OC, there’s no one here to shout, “Eye on the prize, Mayan! Eye on the prize!” and keep me focused on packing up my apartment. Shi came over to help me pack, but we ended up going out for pho and watching Sex and the City: The Movie on HBO for the eleventh time instead. I’ve decided to further postpone my packing and fit one final blog in from Parkway Drive.

I’ve been living alone for a year now, and these are the things I’ve learned:

1. Dishes don’t clean themselves.
2. Neither do toilets.
3. I hate living above the pool.
4. I love living above the laundry room.
5. Only shop at Costco for non-perishables. Toilet paper. Bottled water. Red Vines. Even if you think you can eat twelve apples before they spoil, you can’t.
6. Having no air conditioning in the summer will make you want to punch a baby.
7. The library has free air conditioning. And free wi-fi.
8. Sheer white curtains in the bedroom are no bueno if you like sleeping past sunrise.
9. It’s possible to kill a cactus.
10. You can lose a boyfriend, an eye, and/or five hours of your life over the assembly of Ikea furniture.
11. I love having my friends over.
12. I hate cleaning up after them.
13. I love walking around in my chones after all my friends have gone home.
14. Two boxes of cotton swabs will last you an entire year. Spend the few extra dollars for Q-tips®. Your ears will thank you.
15. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your $20 salon shampoo for HBO and Cinemax.
16. Premium cable, phone and internet costs me $150 a month. Don’t take it for granted if you’re getting it for free at your mom’s house.
17. Don’t get shanghai’d into getting a newspaper subscription, even if it’s for your local little league. You will end up having to dispose of 84 unopened newspapers hiding in your linen closet when it’s time to move out.
18. Spending a few hundred dollars on luxury bedding is totally worth it.
19. Just because you live alone and can have strange men over at all hours of the night doesn’t mean you should.
20. I still lock the bathroom door behind me when I shower, even if I’m alone.
21. I watch too much Criminal Minds and CSI by myself.
22. Don’t regret never making friends with your shirtless neighbor who’s always grilling steaks by the pool. I know I do.
23. Spare keys to your apartment should be given out sparingly.
24. I hate packing and moving more than I hate my ex. And that’s saying something.
25. Save a little money from each paycheck. That way, if your boss unexpectedly gives you the week after Christmas off unpaid, you won’t be forced to pack up your overpriced apartment and move your things into storage while you look for a cheaper place to live—Not that I would know anything about that.

I’m moving out of my apartment and abandoning my clear obsession with espresso furniture. Anyone interested in buying some of it? Everything comes fully assembled, if that helps sway your decision at all—I’ve known couples who have almost broken up over the assembly of furniture. Just sayin’.

LoveSac MovieSac with Espresso Plush MicroSuede Cover

• Price: $200 (retails for over $600)
• Condition: Like new. No curious stains, rips, or smells. Smoke-free home.
• Diameter: 5 ‘
• Weight: 45 lbs
• Features: MovieSacs are big enough for two, yet small enough for most rooms. Whether you cry alone to chick flicks while eating bonbons, or cuddle up with your honey, sharing pillows and popcorn, you’ll be glad it comes with a removable, washable cover to protect against any mid-movie messes. These Sacs are easy to handle, easy to move, easy to take to the drive-in, and easy to clean up when finished. Unfortunately, the only thing about the MovieSac that is not easy is deciding who you will share it with. The MovieSac is for movie-lovers.

Espresso Desk and Chair SOLD!

• Price: $60 (retails for $100)
• Condition: Like new
• Dimensions: 47.4 x 19.5 x 30.2 H ” (desk)
• Weight: 60 lbs

Espresso Dresser SOLD!

• Price: $100 (retails for $190)
• Condition: Like new
• Features: Extra roomy, smooth-running drawers with pull-out stop
• Dimensions: Width: 63 ” / Depth: 18 7/8 ” / Height: 30 3/4 “
• Weight: 146 lbs

Fabric Triptych Wall Art

• Price: $20
• Condition: Like new
• Features: Fabric was cut and hand-stretched over wooden frames
• Dimensions: Each panel is 20 x 20 x 3/4 “