Two years in LA today. Where did my life go???
The power went out in my apartment building again last week! I was already running late, and I had to go back upstairs in the dark to tell the maintenance guy to manually open the garage gate so I could get to fucking work already. This has happened three times in less than two months! And these are only the incidents that I know of, because I spend less than 50% of my time in this apartment (unless a burglar is reading this, in which case I’m home all the time. Plus I always keep my sharpest pair of fabric scissors within reach. And I’m not afraid to cut you.)
Once I get my new car situation settled, I’m moving out of this overpriced shit hole and torching it on yelp!
…or when your plans get canceled because the power went out in your apartment building, and your car is stuck in the sub garage. Again.
…or my neighbors after I almost burned down our apartment building this past weekend.
My lease is up and the only hot neighbor I had moved out this month, so I’m pretty sure the universe is telling me that it’s time to move out of the sticks, fellas.
I’m officially settled into my new home on Manhattan Beach Boulevard! I hired a moving company because I live in a third-floor walk-up, and I may or may not still be sore from bringing my TV up the other night! Ha. I was hoping the movers would look like Ryan Gosling à la Blue Valentine, and they did—except they looked less like Ryan Gosling in the first half of the movie and more like Ryan Gosling after they fast forwarded a decade and ripped his heart out (along with most of his hair). Them’s the breaks!
I regrettably opted for self-installation.
After waking up every day at an unholy hour, driving upwards of 2 hours each way, putting 550 miles on my car, and paying $46 in toll fees to commute back and forth between my sister’s place in the OC and my job in Manhattan Beach, I’ve finally moved into my new place in Redondo Beach! I couldn’t be happier that I’m only 2 streets away from my work now.
When I found this steal on Craigslist and submitted my rental application, the landlord who lives upstairs mentioned that he loves Filipino food and has never met a Filipino he didn’t like. I mean… if he only leased the bottom floor of his townhouse to me because he thinks I know how to cook Filipino food, then he’s in for 3 months of disappointment!
Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.
Manhattan Beach! I could get used to this…
If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
Clearly, San Diego was sad to see me go.
This post has been sitting in my drafts for the past year or two (or five), and today I finally get to publish this shiznittle bam snip snap sack!
Oh my glob, you guys!
You know I’m moving, not dying, right? Ha. I’m only going to be a couple hours away. Besides, I have a year’s worth of free Nothing Bundt Cake bundlets to claim from their Mission Valley store, so you know I’ll be down in SD at least once a month (if you thought I was leaving my voucher with one of you clowns, you were mistaken!).
Last Halloween, I woke up face down in a hotel bathroom and endured the walk of shame (and by shame I mean glory) downtown in my costume the next morning. This year, I decided to keep a low profile and skip Halloween altogether. Instead, I spent the weekend moving all my extra furniture out of my overpriced storage unit. All I have left in there is my lovesac and dining table, so make sure to check out my listings while you’re perusing the casual encounters section of Craigslist if you’re interested.
I spent most of Saturday afternoon loading everything into the U-haul with the help of my mom and sister. Moving furniture ruins relationships, and I’m surprised we’re all still speaking after this weekend! I thanked them with Phil’s, so I’m pretty sure I’m forgiven for those three painful hours of labor. Sunday, though? Not so much…
While I was grateful that Jessie took my sectional off my hands, I was less enthused about the fact that she lives on the fifth floor of her building. Three girls moving two couches down a busy street in Little Italy was truly a sight to behold. We tried to get some boys to help us beforehand, but we were 0 for 3. One of my friends said he had to go to work on his day off to show his Halloween costume, another had to help his mom with her political campaign, and the maintenance guy at her building did not seem at all interested in lending a hand. Whatever happened to chivalry? My entire body’s sore now, jerks.
We did everything short of bending time and space to get those couches into Jessie’s condo. She rewarded us with some chocolate cupcakes with pumpkin cream cheese frosting that she whipped up in her KitchenAid stand mixer. Not only does she now have my beloved microsuede sectional, but she also has the appliance of my dreams. At least she’s allowing me visitation rights! Afterward, we still had to go up to the OC to drop off the U-haul at Pammie’s. While we were putting together her bed, we heard the doorbell ring and thought it was the takeout we ordered, but it was a bunch of kids in costumes! In all this furniture hoopla, we had completely forgotten about Halloween.
The Cake Boss said that he pictures me living in South Park. Apparently, it’s where hipsters go to get married and have dogs. So what he’s saying is… he thinks I’m hip, he wants to marry me, and possibly raise an English bulldog together. Did anyone else get that???
This is only my second time apartment-hunting. Last year, Pammie told me, “Whatever you do, don’t sign anything.” And what did I do? First apartment I saw, I signed a lease. It was like that one time she said, “Whatever you do, don’t close the garage.” And what did I do? I walked straight to the garage, hit the garage door opener, and closed the garage on her car. It’s like I heard everything but the “don’t” part. Anyway, I was locked into a year lease with a beautiful apartment that cost entirely too much money. I knew people renting 2-bedrooms for cheaper than what I was paying for my single. There were times when I would make spaghetti and eat it for five days straight—I’m exaggerating zero percent. It was like I was in Café World and I had whipped up too many servings, except there were no café points earned from eating all that spaghetti—just carbs. I’m on Craiglist everyday, and I’ve learned that listings with the words “charming,” “section 8 approved,” and/or “drive by first and then call” are generally no bueno. Finding a nice, cheap apartment in SD is hard these days. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m partial to granite countertops, crown moulding, stainless steel appliances and hardwood floors. Hey, I can’t help it if my modern espresso furniture refuses to coexist with wall-to-wall carpeting.
It took six friends and five days to put one year into twelve boxes and fourteen trash bags. Thanks a heap to Pammie, Shi, Flex, Errol, Jay, Frank and Will for helping me move in the rain! Rest in peace, my beautiful bookcase. I’m sorry you were damaged beyond repair when we tried to squeeze you into my freakishly small storage space.
NOTE TO SELF: Pizza and beer AFTER my friends move my things next time. And not during the Holiday Bowl. And not on the one day it rains. And maybe invest in some furniture pads. “Protection? She don’t know nothin’ about that!” Haha. Boo whore.
A lot of shit went down in this place. Attention must be paid.
Oh, I paid 😉 As Shi said, if these walls could talk, we’d pay good money to shut them up!
Since Pammie went back up to the OC, there’s no one here to shout, “Eye on the prize, Mayan! Eye on the prize!” and keep me focused on packing up my apartment. Shi came over to help me pack, but we ended up going out for pho and watching Sex and the City: The Movie on HBO for the eleventh time instead. I’ve decided to further postpone my packing and fit one final blog in from Parkway Drive.
I’ve been living alone for a year now, and these are the things I’ve learned:
- Dishes don’t clean themselves.
- Neither do toilets.
- I hate living above the pool.
- I love living above the laundry room.
- Only shop at Costco for non-perishables. Toilet paper. Bottled water. Red Vines. Even if you think you can eat twelve apples before they spoil, you can’t.
- Having no air conditioning in the summer will make you want to punch a baby.
- The library has free air conditioning. And free wi-fi.
- Sheer white curtains in the bedroom are no bueno if you like sleeping past sunrise.
- It’s possible to kill a cactus.
- You can lose a boyfriend, an eye, and/or five hours of your life over the assembly of Ikea furniture.
- I love having my friends over.
- I hate cleaning up after them.
- I love walking around in my chones after all my friends have gone home.
- Two boxes of cotton swabs will last you an entire year. Spend the few extra dollars for Q-tips®. Your ears will thank you.
- Sometimes you have to sacrifice your $20 salon shampoo for HBO and Cinemax.
- Premium cable, phone and internet costs me $150 a month. Don’t take it for granted if you’re getting it for free at your mom’s house.
- Don’t get shanghai’d into getting a newspaper subscription, even if it’s for your local little league. You will end up having to dispose of 84 unopened newspapers hiding in your linen closet when it’s time to move out.
- Spending a few hundred dollars on luxury bedding is totally worth it.
- Just because you live alone and can have strange men over at all hours of the night doesn’t mean you should.
- I still lock the bathroom door behind me when I shower, even if I’m alone.
- I watch too much Criminal Minds and CSI by myself.
- Don’t regret never making friends with your shirtless neighbor who’s always grilling steaks by the pool. I know I do.
- Spare keys to your apartment should be given out sparingly.
- I hate packing and moving more than I hate my ex. And that’s saying something.
- Save a little money from each paycheck. That way, if your boss unexpectedly gives you the week after Christmas off unpaid, you won’t be forced to pack up your overpriced apartment and move your things into storage while you look for a cheaper place to live—Not that I would know anything about that.
I’m moving out of my apartment and abandoning my clear obsession with espresso furniture. Anyone interested in buying some of it? Everything comes fully assembled, if that helps sway your decision at all—I’ve known couples who have almost broken up over the assembly of furniture. Just sayin’.
LoveSac MovieSac with Espresso Plush MicroSuede Cover
- Price: $200 (retails for over $600)
- Condition: Like new. No curious stains, rips, or smells. Smoke-free home.
- Diameter: 5 ‘
- Weight: 45 lbs
- Features: MovieSacs are big enough for two, yet small enough for most rooms. Whether you cry alone to chick flicks while eating bonbons, or cuddle up with your honey, sharing pillows and popcorn, you’ll be glad it comes with a removable, washable cover to protect against any mid-movie messes. These Sacs are easy to handle, easy to move, easy to take to the drive-in, and easy to clean up when finished. Unfortunately, the only thing about the MovieSac that is not easy is deciding who you will share it with. The MovieSac is for movie-lovers.
Espresso Desk and Chair SOLD!
- Price: $60 (retails for $100)
- Condition: Like new
- Dimensions: 47.4 x 19.5 x 30.2 H ” (desk)
- Weight: 60 lbs
Espresso Dresser SOLD!
- Price: $100 (retails for $190)
- Condition: Like new
- Features: Extra roomy, smooth-running drawers with pull-out stop
- Dimensions: Width: 63 ” / Depth: 18 7/8 ” / Height: 30 3/4 “
- Weight: 146 lbs
Fabric Triptych Wall Art
- Price: $20
- Condition: Like new
- Features: Fabric was cut and hand-stretched over wooden frames
- Dimensions: Each panel is 20 x 20 x 3/4 “