At the end of this life are you happy?
Are you good with the choices you made?
Are you being yourself or just acting?
Do you wish you could start again?
When you’re on your last legs, on your death bed
When your life flashes before your eyes
Do you like who you’re with in that movie?
Or do you belong in mine?

Blake Rose songs on this cold ass day 🥶 (Yes, 60° is cold af to this San Diegan).

Novo Amor and homemade chicken sotanghon on this rainy Wednesday 🌧️

It’s my mama’s 65th birthday, and all she wanted was a new iPad to watch her K-dramas and some lettuce wraps (@ P.F. Chang’s)

It was after 9pm last Friday, so I was already in bed LOL and I could see fireworks going off from my bedroom window, probably from a nearby high school football game. I get up to tell Pammie, and she thought it was gunshots! I was like, “Where do you think you live???” She and her husband lived in the OC for 15 years before moving back SD. My sister’s husband is probably the most hood person I know, and he was born and raised in eastside! You would think they’d be comfortable amongst their people down here, but they got used living in predominantly white neighborhoods with no crime 😅

Tonight, there was an actual shooting at the brewery across the street, and the suspects are still at large. Maybe LA has made me indifferent to this shit, but I’m not concerned. I remember we were at a bar in Chicago, and the bartender had to tell this crazy customer to leave and Donna and I were just completely unbothered, drinking our cocktails while sober Pammie over here was freaking out. I’m just used to being around crazy people ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sad French songs on this rainy day.

My sister had to go into the office, so she brought me back a Best Drink Ever® (@ Better Buzz)

I love when my sister gets her hair done, partly because her hairdresser always has new chisme, but mostly because her salon is near University Heights and she brings me home something from Pop Pie.

Happy 70th birthday to my pops! (@ Fogo de Chão)

I’ve never been to a Brazilian steakhouse before, but it was everything The Mindy Project promised it would be 🤣

I love bratwurst and beer towers. I’m usually in LA when my friends go to this thing every year, so it was my first time here (@ German American Societies)

We were the only Asians there, but I blended in with my pretzel necklace and beer mug headband 🥨🍺

Young the Giant is always a good idea (@ CalCoast Credit Union Open Air Theatre)

One of Francis’ friends was working security, and he was like, “Yooo, you like Young the Giant?!” like it was a bad thing 🤣 Is this like when I liked Hoobastank?! 😅

Even though my calves burn with the fury of a thousand suns (our seats were at the very bottom and it’s a looong way to the top where the drinks are), YTG is always worth it.

Here’s Francis and I texting each other during the show because our seats were right in front of the speakers and we couldn’t hear each other LOL:

Lunch with my favorite Mexicans (@ Lolita’s)

I haven’t seen Alicia since before the incident, but she sent me flowers in the hospital and checks in regularly 💕

She finally used the Disney gift card I gave her for her 40th birthday and stayed at the Grand Californian! She brought me back a Dole Whip Candle. Smells so good. Love me some dole whip. And I love that all the gifts she brings me are food-related LOL I have a Mickey Mouse soft pretzel magnet from her on my fridge in LA from that one time I was supposed to meet her at California Adventure, but got into an accident on the way there and totaled my car 😅 I kept all my important documents stuck to the fridge under that magnet, even my car registration renewal that I forgot about and got pulled over in DTLA the first day it expired 😅

Jessie was like, “They drove down from Murrietta, and you guys just went to Lolita’s?” (I go to Lolita’s maybe once a week LOL). She wanted Hans & Harry’s afterward, so that’s why we picked Lolita’s in Bonita. You can’t go to SD without getting good Mexican food and having a fruit strudel from Hans & Harry’s!

Getting sloppy (@ Fairweather Bar)

Don’t worry, I bought a new Padres hat to wear at the game. My old one is probably under my Dodgers hat in my apartment in LA. I only wore the Dodgers hat when I had bedhead or to avoid getting shanked at Dodger Stadium. Jessie was like, “Didn’t you get a Padres hat at the Harry Potter game?” And I was like, “Pammie says those are for display only” LOL.

Love this girl and watching the game from here (@ Lexus Club)

When Jessie showed up at my parents’ house with the uber, my mom was like, “It’s just you two???” concerned as fuck (you get roofied once and no one lets you forget about it). I haven’t had QT with Jessie, just us, since I used to help her carbo-load before her marathons (even though I didn’t run). She has since tore her ACL , and I hardly eat carbs now after the incident 😅

We were talking about what our walk-up song would be. Mine would probably be something Young the Giant LOL and my brother-in-law said his walk-up song would be “Send My Love” by Born Jamericans 🤣

Our seats had access to the Lexus Club, so we watched the majority of the game from there while we chowed down on Hodad’s and got more drinks from the private bar. I can’t ever go back to regular seats again! 😅

To top it off, our uber driver home drove a Tesla. It was my first time riding in one, and the ride was so smooth!

Well, I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

Love, love, love this venue and these girls 💕 (@ The Rady Shell at Jacobs Park)

Jason Mraz is so awesome for doing this free hometown show! I used to listen to his local shows at Lestat’s (before there was Spotify) and saw him live countless times back in the day.

It was my first time at The Rady Shell, and it reminds me of the Hollywood Bowl in LA. Except you don’t have to deal with tandem parking and you know, Hollywood. The food is also better (the pizza at the bowl tastes like literal cardboard), and this show didn’t have seats, but they allow you to bring blankets and low lawn chairs. The view coupled with the San Diego weather was perfection. I def want to watch more shows at this venue!

We walked to the Mariott Marquis after the show to get ubers away from the venue, and Jessie convinced some guest we were staying there so he’d let us cut through the hotel with his key card. After he let us in and we were walking by the pool, I was like, “You’re such a good liar,” and she was like, “Should we get in the jacuzzi???” 🤣

I also felt like myself for the first time since the incident tonight. I wore some eyeliner, drank some mules, went to a concert where I didn’t go home early after the opener, and stayed out past 9pm 😅

I was supposed to see Young the Giant tonight. Yesterday, Pammie was like, “At least the show is indoors. And I was like, “It’s at the Open Air Theater. It’s in the open air.” The show was supposed to be rain or shine, but I guess a hurricane changes things ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My sister will be in Hawaii the week it’s rescheduled for. Anyone want to see Young the Giant with me??? My seats are in AAA and here’s the setlist if that helps sway you at all.

Update: I’m going to the rescheduled show with my friend’s husband 🤣 (I know he likes this band, and I asked my friend first! Plus I would never, partly because it’s Francis Lansang, but mostly because I know Christine can kick my ass LOL).

It’s two in the morning
I don’t need nobody else
But you’re my tragedy
Please don’t make me say it
Cult of personality

I got this alert while looking at dog videos on instagram. Am I the only one not taking this storm seriously???

I found the smallest hopscotch ever on my walk, and it was so small, I almost fell trying to do it 😅

When I saw this hopscotch, I thought of this video, because a child obviously drew it 🤣

I got my bloodwork results back and everything was excellent. My rheumatologist said, “Your labs look good!” and to that I say, “But I’m hungry all the time.” 😅

My sister lives in the Millenia community of SD, and she pays over $600 a month in HOA fees! We go on a walk everyday, and there’s trash and cigarette butts everywhere (even though there are public trash cans all over the place!). She got so tired of seeing the trash that she amazon primed a grabber tool and takes it on our walks now. She filled an entire trash bag today! What’s the point of paying so much for an HOA if they don’t even maintain the common areas??? She brought one trash bag with her, and I was like, “You should have three bags—one for trash, one for recycling and one for composting.” And she was like, “I ain’t trying to save all the world’s problems.” 🤣

When we first started going on our walks in January, there was this Muchas Gracias plastic bag stuck in a nearby tree for weeks until one windy ass day.

Harry Potter Night (@ Petco Park)

I went to a Padres game with these potterheads and all I got was a Hufflepuff hat (and garlic fries from Gaglione Brothers. And a cheeseburger from Hodad’s. Ok, and a churro from Lane’s Lemonade Stand. No ballpark beers, though, because the last time I mixed alcohol with my meds, I was sloppy as fuck!).

The theme giveaway line was 45 minutes long, and we overheard this guy tell his girl, “I love you, but I’m not waiting in this line” LOL. Also, we picked up 3 hats first since the 4th person wasn’t at the game yet, so Pammie asks the giveaway dude for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and he starts reaching for a blue hat looking at her for confirmation, and Pammie was like, “Boy, that’s Ravenclaw!” 🤣

The “paw squad” is my new favorite part of being at Petco 🐾

Since today is the first day of summer and I’m seeing Young the Giant in two months!

All my dad wanted for Father’s Day was a beer on a rooftop (@ Seneca)

The dole whip at the food and craft market below was a bonus. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

Craving a lobster roll ever since Yelp sent me their 2023 Top Lobster Roll Spots in Every State list. This place in North Park did not disappoint (@ Pete’s Seafood and Sandwich)

You lit your cigarette
Oh, how quickly we all forget
That bed you made, you must lay in it
Lost in a fruitless cause
False hope was all you bought
Oh, and the answers didn’t seem so far

Just got tickets to their fall tour! I’m going to their SD show instead of the one the next day in LA, partly because trying to get to Hollywood on a Thursday sucks, but mostly because I want to eat at Pizza Port.

I use this Merriman gif any chance I get because he’s the only jersey I have (I bought it before he choked Tila Tequila and before the Chargers left San Diego, but regrettably not before he got that stupid “Lights Out” tattoo on his forearm).

Captain’s Log, Day 136: It’s June now, and these heart balloons have been in this window since February.

Jessie and I go to our friends’ kids birthday parties for the free hood ass ice cream trucks (@ SD Sweet Treats)

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

Partly because it’s Cinco de Mayo, but mostly because I wanted a burrito (@ Lolita’s)

Don’t let the picture fool you, I only ate half 🤪

Things I see on my afternoon walks:

This fenced off spot reminds me of the infinite abyss from Garden State. There’s so much tumbleweed around here for some reason.

I hate vanity plates, but I love pizza, so I’m torn.

I’ve seen these heart balloons in this window since Valentine’s Day… It’s May.

I name all the dogs I see regularly on my walks. I see this sweet girl almost every day, and I call her “Lucy” (“Lucille” when we’re being formal). I’ve never heard her bark.

There’s this asshole dog who always barks whenever he sees me. I call him “David” after David Bogdanov, a convicted murderer I watched a docu of on ID who fled to Ukraine after he killed a trans teen (the dog’s pawrents have a Ukrainian flag on their balcony LOL).

With a lot of great dogs, comes a great lot of poop. These little flags are everywhere.

Me checking what day my birthday falls on next year knowing I’m gonna have it at Texas Roadhouse LOL.

My friends will be like, “but this is in a mall parking lot in El Cajon, and we had champagne and wagyu at Born & Raised in Little Italy last year!”

Sorry B’s, I like my meat from East County ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I went to Texas Roadhouse again last night, partly because it was Meat Friday, but mostly because I did, in fact, leave my wallet there last week and had to get it LOL.

Keeping up with Meat Fridays (@ Texas Roadhouse)

You’re so fuckin’ bougie.

– my sister’s husband to me after I brought down my Aroma 360 diffuser and Cashmere Plum fragrance oil from my studio in LA for my room at their house in SD

Even my sister’s husband creeps pics of Chico from the rooftop when he’s on his walkies. God, we love Chico so much, and he doesn’t even know it LOL.

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends…🍾 🥂

I’m going going, back back, to Callie Callie (@ Callie)

We were finally able to get together and celebrate Jessie’s 40th birthday! 🎂 🎉 🍽️

Jessie knows everyone at Callie since she goes all the time! We met the head chef, Travis (thanks for sending over those complimentary fish collars), saw pictures of the manager’s cute pittie/corgi mix, Gravy, and wished the host well (he’s getting married next month!). Such a great experience, and the food was sooo good!

Love these girls 💕

On Fridays, we eat Korean BBQ (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I took my sister out for dinner, partly because my short-term disability (or STD LOL) was finally approved (EDD is so old school with actual paperwork and snail mail) and the payments are retro to when I applied for my claim in January, but mostly because I checked my ADP app to make sure they took my bennies out of my last paycheck and saw they gave me an unexpected raise and bonus (even though I technically haven’t worked since the incident).

Good thing I was max’d out on sick time and vacation, because that’s how I’ve been getting paid since January. I’ll be lucky if I get my first disability check before I’m back at work!

The best part about my afternoon walks in my sister’s neighborhood is seeing all of the dogs (@ Millenia)

I even saw Chico on my walk today! No picture, though, because Pammie told me to, “be cool” LOL. He was so happy to see us, though 😊

I’ve eaten meat every other Friday during Lent, I wasn’t about to stop now LOL (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I had to order delivery today because one of their flavors this week was Iced Oatmeal (my favorite!). I split one with Pammie for lunch, and we both thought it was delicious!!! (@ Crumbl Cookies)

FYI I also like oatmeal raisin cookies from Subway LOL (my first job that my dad made me get when I was fifteen) and the molasses cookies they used to have at Milk in LA.

UConn smoked SDSU in the NCAA Finals today (let’s face it, no one had State in their final March Madness bracket), but the Padres beat the D-backs and my dad’s heart surgery went well. All in all, a 10/10 day.

I went to SDSU for a year before I went to art school, so I have a little bit of Aztec pride.

My sister’s bro-in-law, Paul, treated us out for Korean BBQ tonight! (@ Hanu KBBQ)

Thanks for the dinner, laughs, and letting me pay you in your first ever Crumbl cookie! (Did you love it? I’m still trying to convince Pammie and D, but Christine let her kids pick the flavors last time, so ofc they picked all the wack ass cereal kinds LOL).

Let’s go, Padres! I’m watching Opening Day from my room at my sister’s instead of on the big screen at home and eating meal-prepped sausage and veggies instead of a doyer dog. What has become of my life???

When the weather is nice, I eat my meals outside on one of Pammie’s balconies, get crispy in the sun, and wait for the weiner pup, Chico, who lives across the street to come out, but it’s been raining every week (like it is today).

I haven’t seen the reservoir across from my parents’ house this full since the nineties!

Tornadoes and rain??? Don’t we live in California so we don’t have to deal with this shit???

I went to my first show in months tonight, partly because it was Kevin Garrett, partly because it was his birthday today, but mostly because he was the opener and I didn’t have to stay up that late (@ Quartyard).

Kevin Garrett – Coloring

Don’t want the world to know I’m by myself
Don’t want the world to know I’m on your shelf
But if you want to try at all
Stay for the night, tell you why nothing’s right if you’re gone
Stay for the night, if it’s all a lie, I wouldn’t mind if you’re wrong
Stay for the night, we’ve been alright for so long
There’s no coloring around us anymore
You either know or you don’t

He did a cover of “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls, and I’ve been listening to the City of Angels soundtrack from ’98 and crying ever since.

On Tuesdays, I see my therapist and she’s minutes away from my favorite doughnut spot in town, and One Paseo shopping center.

This morning, I had some bloodwork done (they took 14 vials!), so I needed that quarter of a Susie’s Blueberry Pancake doughnut (a collabo with my favorite cupcake spot in LA, Susiecakes). And both planters from Pigment at One Paseo. Get off me.

I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!

The Padres lost 10-2, but we stayed winning in Pammie’s company suite! (@ Petco Park)

Picnic in the park (@ Lake View Park)

All this birthday mama wanted was some adult time and some chicken in a muthafuckin’ biskit LOL! Nothing’s too good for our Shi ♥️

Best birthday dinner ever (@ Born & Raised)

Celebrated Chel’s birthday with the girls (@ Pop Pie Co.)

After Pammie shared her big news that she bought a new house over the weekend, Shi revealed that her only update was that she got a tooth extracted and was going through a mortgage refi—that’s two more things than I got going on! Ha.

Same time next season? (@ Petco Park)

Much needed social hour and frosé with my faves (@ Pacific Social)

Ditch day with my favorite 40-year-old at my favorite place (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

It took me four hours to drive from LA to SD this holiday weekend! The bestie is lucky I love BBQ her.

Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)

Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!

The girls and I got a lesson in self defense from Raquel at Stronghold this past weekend! Christine and Shi demo’d groin kicks while Pammie and I practiced our sticky glue – pancake – butterfly grips on the side! Ha.

Silently cheering so my neighbors don’t murder me.

Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing offbeat at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!

I literally just got back to LA, stepped out of my car and dropped my cali burrito from SD on the floor. This pretty much sums up 2020 for me.

Hosmer, baby! 💛

Can someone postmate me garlic fries???

I love that Christine’s birthday is so close to mine, especially when her husband throws her a surprise party at my favorite BBQ spot! (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

The girls gave me the best gift ever: music and travel! I can’t wait to see Tame Impala in Portland!!!

Thanks to Chel, Christine and the old man in a hawaiian shirt at the bar for buying me all those birthday drinks (and even more thanks to Alicia for picking my ass up and Ray for driving my car home).

When the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I was two burritos deep and lying on the floor at Alicia’s house. This is 38, guys.

I’m here for the garlic fries, beer and Eric Hosmer (in that order) (@ Petco Park)