» relationships
Worm Moon.
Sunday, March 24, 2024

(via @jordan_the_stallion8)

Just curious… Would you love me if I was a worm?

(JK, that’s not the question, and I already know the answer 🤣 but posting this in honor of the full Worm Moon tonight).

September Love.
Monday, September 4, 2023

lang leav

I love Lang Leav đź’”

Monday, July 17, 2023

sofia vergara divorce

ariana grande divorce

At this point, why even create a Tinder profile???

Cupcake Girl.
Saturday, September 12, 2020

chocolate peanut butter cupcakes

I made these cupcakes once when I was dating my bestie’s brother, and their grandpa couldn’t get enough of them. I haven’t seen him in years, but his family would always tell me he still asks about the ‘cupcake girl’ even though my ex is married to someone else now. Sorry, Quinn LOL.

Sadly, their grandpa passed away this week, so I made his favorite cupcakes for my best friend and her family in memory of him.

Here’s the recipe for the greatest chocolate cupcakes and peanut butter frosting ever (according to Grandpa Oscar).

Il Postino.
Sunday, March 29, 2020

mailman chat
stepbrothers best friends gif
mailman chat

Add one of my ex’s becoming my parents’ mailman to the list of bizarre things to happen in 2020.

Friday, November 8, 2019

Adding to my list of dating requirements:

– Must be born before I started high school
– Must be less sloppy than me (if only slightly)

Taking Applications.
Sunday, October 27, 2019

Just kidding (the beard is non-negotiable).

The End.
Friday, March 17, 2017

la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif
la la land dream sequence gif

La La Land was def overhyped, but this dream sequence of what could have been was everything 💔

Opposites Attract.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017

how i met your mother - the olive theory gif

new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif new girl - the hike - raisins - the olive theory gif

Bumble bio update: Must hate smoked BBQ beef ribs.

Pizza Party.
Monday, August 1, 2016

pizza party

pizza party

pizza oven

Jessie and Abe bought a pizza oven for their backyard and hosted their first bumble workshop pizza party of the summer this past weekend.

I’m not sure if it’s because most of my friends are in relationships, or because Jessie’s husband calls me “baby boo” sometimes LOL, but my friends are intent on finding me a baby boo of my own! They set up my bumble profile while I scarfed down breakfast pizza, chamango paletas and hell or high watermelon. I obliged them and swiped right on a few “entrepreneurs” (srsly, what do you do for a living?), but only the girl can initiate the convo within 24 hours after you’ve been matched before the connection disappears forever. Seeing that I never approach guys first and wait till the eleventh hour to do anything, this may not be the best dating app for me haha. I may need a few more bumble workshops thinly disguised as pizza parties to convince me otherwise!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

My dear friend, Christine, is officially engaged! Just a year ago, we were livin’ la vida loca in Cabo, and now she’s got a baby and a fiancĂ©! Time moves so quickly around here. It seems like only yesterday, Christine, Jessie and I were at Blind Lady talking about the crapshoot that was the three of us, and now I’m the last one standing! The only time I’ve ever felt bad about being single is when I got into a car accident this year and had to be rescued by someone else’s husband. I was standing there at the auto shop watching them lift my car up, and my best friend’s husband was there talking to the mechanic for me, and my heart sank. Partly because they told me how much it would cost to fix my alignment, but mostly because I forgot how nice it was to have someone there to help me.

he's just not that into you - organically

The few single friends that I have are serial daters. Tinder, Bumble, OK Cupid… If there’s an app for it, they’re on it. And although I pretty much pioneered online dating 20 years ago with my first AOL boyfriend (LoL), I would still prefer to meet someone IRL. Even though most of the guys I meet in real life are assholes. My problem is that I like assholes. If Christine and that rock on her finger taught me anything, it’s that you don’t always end up with the kind of guy you’re used to being with. I definitely have a type. If they’re bearded, witty and/or an asshole, all the boxes are checked. Maybe if I go for a nice guy with a babyface who tells mediocre jokes, the outcome will be different. I guess I’ll never know since the guys my friends want to set me up with have girlfriends already! Ha.

committed chat

In the End.
Monday, November 30, 2015

lang leav - in the end

Ways to My Heart.
Friday, November 20, 2015

whole foods market dtla - ways to my heart

You should be writing this down (@ Whole Foods Market DTLA)

Spoiler Alert.
Monday, November 9, 2015

how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif how to get away with murder - eve rothlow - you still have me and i hate it gif


I caught up on seven episodes of How to Get Away with Murder with Pammie over the weekend. I’m dying to know what happens next, but I never watch this show by myself because I get too scared. I can’t wait till I’m home for Thanksgiving to find out who shot Annalise, so someone please come over when the new episode airs this Thursday!

Spoiler Alert: There will be frozen salmon from Costco (it’s the only thing I keep stocked in my fridge because holiday weight) and me with no pants on.

Ice Cold.
Sunday, October 25, 2015

our beer is as cold as your ex's heart - wood handcrafted pizza

WARNING: This beer is cold af, you guys (@ Wood Handcrafted Pizza)

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

sometimes you forgive people simply because you still want them in your life

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

orange is the new black - pennsatucky - i don't have rage. i'm just sad.


Venn Diagram.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015


Life is too short for shitty sex and bad relationships. So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.

In the venn diagram of men I’ve been involved with, these two qualities never overlap! :p

modern family gays vs lesbians venn diagram schooled

Sunday, March 15, 2015

I have a growing queue of things I know will make you laugh, and I don’t know where to put them.

A Working List of Things I Will Never Tell You
Sunday, March 15, 2015

When the conversation is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else.

For So Long.
Monday, March 9, 2015

kurt halsey - for so long i have harbored all of this

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

bristlr beard dating site


Relationship Goals.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

i would get onto the 405 at 5pm for you etsy card valentine's day

Character Flaw.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015

girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
girls one massive character flaw ray marnie gif
The Point.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

new girl - dice - the whole point of going on dates is to fall in love and have a relationship
new girl - dice - the point of dating is just to keep on dating and then never stop. it's like burning fossil fuels. or seeing a therapist.
Baby Got Back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
new girl - the last wedding - do guys still like an oakland face with an la booty gif
Stand Up.
Monday, July 28, 2014

The worst thing is watching someone drown and not being able to convince them that they can save themselves by just standing up

Quote of the Day.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

lana del rey - throat cut gif

If a man ever laid a finger on me like that, HE WOULD BE DEAD.

Let Go.
Sunday, July 27, 2014

let go or be dragged

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant

The realest thing I’ve ever read.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

orange is the new black - you can’t blame the wolf. lamb’s delicious. that’s smart eating. gif

I may or may not have binge-watched the entire new season of Orange is the New Black this past weekend.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

wrdsmth los angeles graffiti

Friday, May 23, 2014

if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it.

Monday, May 19, 2014

if it's still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk

Thursday, May 15, 2014

i can't stop thinking about you

Daily Haiku on Love.
Friday, May 9, 2014


I need more of you,
do you not need more of me?
Is just this enough?
Wednesday, May 7, 2014

she imagines him imagining her. this is her salvation.

The Awful Truth.
Wednesday, May 7, 2014


“One day, whether you
are 14,
or 65

you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find—

is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

There are a million ways to bleed. But you are by far my favorite.

– Iain S. Thomas, The Scars You Love
We will be a novel someday.
Saturday, May 3, 2014


“You are a sentence
and I am a semicolon
begging you to go on.”
When your ex invites you to his baby shower…
Thursday, April 24, 2014

kanye west oh hell no gif

orange is the new black - alex vause - are you fucking kidding me gif

Seriously, dude???

Sunday, March 30, 2014


The act of trying to forget someone is a futile one. In order to do so, you are forced to remember. It’s like dieting. Like trying your hardest not to think about food, while weighing every ounce and counting every calorie.

I’m terrible at both.

Get Through.
Friday, February 28, 2014

At home, at weekends or whatever, it wells up and I can’t handle it. But most of the time I can just about handle it, you sort of have to get through the day.

– Paul McCartney
Part of Me.
Thursday, February 27, 2014

katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand
katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand katy perry: part of me - crying over russell brand
Monday, February 17, 2014

You can't change what's done, you can't go back in time, you can't try to change the hurt feelings or mend the broken hearts. All you can do is learn from your mistakes, and hope you will never regret anything as much as you do now.

Monday, February 17, 2014

not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring - daniell koepke

Twisted Logic.
Monday, February 17, 2014

twisted logic

Monday, February 17, 2014

i think about you everyday. asshole.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

glee - gwyneth sexy everybody's got a random

One of my randoms who I haven’t seen or responded to in five years hit me up late last night. Who does that??? Please just forget about me, just like you seem to have forgotten that you have a girlfriend and babies at home.

I’m so sick of these fucks.

Soft Spot.
Monday, February 3, 2014

soft spot in my heart

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again.

– Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
In the end.
Sunday, February 2, 2014

in the end only three things matter

Saturday, February 1, 2014

don't promise when you're happy. don't reply when you're angry. don't decide when you're sad.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

i still love the people i've loved, even if i cross the street to avoid them. - uma thurman, w magazine

The First Time.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

– Maya Angelou
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

all you do is take, and i've got nothing for you right now. - uptown girls

Rule #111.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014

asshole | laws of modern man

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

You know, he should be here for you right now. But when the great seesaw of life throws your cunt in a sandbox, he's a ghost, nowhere to be found. This is what he does.

Third Beer.
Monday, January 27, 2014

She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?

– Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
Nothing Lovely.
Monday, January 27, 2014

there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you

Spilled Milk.
Monday, January 27, 2014


I cried today. 

For what we were 
and what we weren’t.

For what we could have been 
and what we could never be.

For what you changed in me 
and for what will never change. 

I cried because I knew you 
and because I never knew you at all.

And because I loved you 
and never got the chance to.

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