mayanrocks.com » weddings
Sarno Season.
Monday, April 8, 2019

shirley tejidor calvin sarno wedding

Shi is my heart twin. We’ve been through the best and absolute worst of times together. There are very few people who have seen me cry or have watched me eat an entire pizza by myself like she has (and even fewer people who have told me that it’s okay because it was thin crust!).

No matter how bad life gets, Shi never loses faith… in love, in the universe, in God. She sends me healing crystals and bible quotes, not because I’m a believer, but because she is. She believes in me, even when I don’t believe in myself. Her positivity radiates, and anyone who’s ever met her can attest to that. I always joke that her sunshine is blinding, but I honestly can’t help but soak up those rays whenever she’s around!

In the words of the late, great Aaliyah, you’re a positive, motivating force within my life. I’m thrilled you’ve found someone who makes you just as happy as you make everyone else. Congrats, Mrs. Sarno ♥

Written in the Stars.
Friday, February 22, 2019

shirley tejidor calvin sarno bridal shower

Even if you’ve never been in Shi’s bedroom closet where she keeps that photo of herself aboard the starship enterprise, it’s no secret that she’s all about sci-fi and space and the universe. I watched my first meteor shower with her (and regrettably ditched her for a boy during the second one!). She’s gifted me crystals to harness the universe’s energy, and she’s the reason my amazon prime account thinks the complete boxed DVD set of Battlestar Galactica would be of interest to me.

Pammie and I knew that The Night Sky from the day Shi got engaged would be the perfect gift for our favorite galactigeek. Just one more week till Shi’s big day!

The One Where Shirley Gets Married.
Sunday, January 27, 2019

friends themed bachelorette party

Friends is Shi’s most favorite TV show ever, and Shi is our favorite bachelorette!

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

friends tv themed bachelorette bridal shower birthday party

bachelorette

adult capri suns

bachelorette

Shi chow-crowned an impressive amount of gummy dicks. Marry this woman already!

let's misbehave - tipsy crow

Don’t have to tell us twice (@ The Tipsy Crow)

bachelorette

This mechanical bull has seen better days, and so has my liver (@ Double Deuce)

It was so much fun partying like I was 21 again, but I spent the entire day in bed afterwards paying for it!

(Same time next weekend?)

Friends-themed food and drink ideas:

  • Penis cake – “Emma’s 1st birthday cake”
  • Cheesecake – “Chandler’s stolen cheesecake”
  • Chocolate chip cookies – “Phoebe’s grandma’s cookie recipe”
  • Quiche – “Monica’s finger nail quiche”
  • Trifle – “Rachel’s Thanksgiving trifle”
  • Charcuterie board with jam and crackers – “Joey’s uncircumsized deli meat” / “Monica’s jam”
  • Crab cakes – “Ross’ free crab cakes”
  • Chicken wings – “Monica’s bubble bath chicken”
  • Sandwiches – “Joey’s ride along sandwich”
  • Pizza – “George Stephanopoulos’ pizza” or “Ross and Rachel’s breakup pizza”
  • Flan – “Rachel’s birthday flan”
  • Chocolate torte – “Joey’s date’s chocolate torte”
  • Lasagna – “Monica’s mom’s back-up lasagna”
  • Mini muffins – “Ross’ basket of mini muffins”
  • Salad – “Monica’s perverted salad” or “Rachel’s side salad”
  • Punch – “Monica’s tiki death punch”
  • Mac & Cheese – “Chandler’s righteous mac & cheese”
  • Turkey sandwiches – “Ross’ stolen thanksgiving leftover sandwich (the moist maker)”
  • Chocolate – “Monica’s mockolate”
  • Assorted candies – “Monica’s little pieces of heaven”
  • Fajitas – “Ross’ fine fajitas”
  • Cups and ice – “Phoebe’s cups and ice”

Vendors/Supplies:

Bride Vibes.
Saturday, January 19, 2019
bachelorette gift bag

SD bound for Shi’s bachelorette party!

Reminder.
Monday, November 26, 2018

my fitness pal reminder

it's a no from me gif

It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving for crying out loud!

Before I got this reminder, Shi texted me asking how my bridesmaid dress fit. Luckily, the dress she chose for us has an empire waist that ensures that any indiscretions (like my special relationship with BBQ) will be undetectable. Granted, I still bought a size too small to keep my ass in check! A few of us will have exes at this wedding, and even though we’ve all moved on, nobody’s trying to look like garbage in front of their ex. Amirite, Christine? Karen? LOL.

Energy.
Thursday, October 11, 2018

rose quartz crystals in heart ring dish

My Shi just got engaged to the love of her life, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

She gave me these two rose quartz crystals a few months ago, because “love comes in pairs,” she said. I’ve never been a believer of crystals, but I did buy this cute ass dish for them (I still believe in good home decor, after all). I keep them on my bar cart in the feng shui-recommended “love corner” of my apartment. The booze around it will likely be of more assistance to my love life than the art of feng shui or crystals, but I appreciate Shi’s effort! Ha.

Congrats, love!

Lapel Tribe.
Sunday, September 4, 2016

dan lapel raechel tejidor #lapeltribe

Congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Lapel (@ Los Peñasquitos Ranch House)

I can’t decide if the most memorable part of today was when the wedding singer dropped panties during cocktail hour, or when a wedding guest was taken away in an ambulance after one too many pot brownies ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shotgun.
Monday, August 22, 2016

Congrats to the new Mr. and Mrs. Lansang! So bummed I couldn’t be there for the wedding, but happy I was able to witness them shotgunning beers without spilling a drop on their sleeping newborn! Ha.

Cheers!

Committed.
Tuesday, July 26, 2016

My dear friend, Christine, is officially engaged! Just a year ago, we were livin’ la vida loca in Cabo, and now she’s got a baby and a fiancé! Time moves so quickly around here. It seems like only yesterday, Christine, Jessie and I were at Blind Lady talking about the crapshoot that was the three of us, and now I’m the last one standing! The only time I’ve ever felt bad about being single is when I got into a car accident this year and had to be rescued by someone else’s husband. I was standing there at the auto shop watching them lift my car up, and my best friend’s husband was there talking to the mechanic for me, and my heart sank. Partly because they told me how much it would cost to fix my alignment, but mostly because I forgot how nice it was to have someone there to help me.

he's just not that into you - organically

The few single friends that I have are serial daters. Tinder, Bumble, OK Cupid… If there’s an app for it, they’re on it. And although I pretty much pioneered online dating 20 years ago with my first AOL boyfriend (LoL), I would still prefer to meet someone IRL. Even though most of the guys I meet in real life are assholes. My problem is that I like assholes. If Christine and that rock on her finger taught me anything, it’s that you don’t always end up with the kind of guy you’re used to being with. I definitely have a type. If they’re bearded, witty and/or an asshole, all the boxes are checked. Maybe if I go for a nice guy with a babyface who tells mediocre jokes, the outcome will be different. I guess I’ll never know since the guys my friends want to set me up with have girlfriends already! Ha.

committed chat

Chel’s Final Panty.
Monday, July 25, 2016

Hot Tub Cruisin’ (@ Mission Bay)

Chel’s grandma always told her that she changes boyfriends like she changes panties, and this is the final one. Congrats to the bachelorette!

S/O to our captain, Shi! You the real MVP.

Sunday Best.
Sunday, August 2, 2015

jessica calixto and abraham cuevas wedding

Congrats to the new Mr. & Mrs. Cuevas! (@ Saint Francis Chapel)

I drank too much, lost my phone, crashed at Christine’s and had to walk downtown the next morning in the dress I wore the night before… so a typical Sunday for me! Ha.

My Best Friend’s Wedding.
Sunday, July 26, 2015

mandalay bay

20 years in the making (@ Mandalay Bay)

Contain Yourself.
Thursday, April 30, 2015

the container store - organized shower of your dreams - winner

I completely forgot about this pinterest contest I entered a year ago! They just selected one winner per month, and the board I made for the Organized Wedding Shower of my dreams won!

I may not be getting married anytime soon, but at least I can fill the hole in my heart with $1,000 worth of merchandise from The Container Store.

Kentucky Bucks.
Sunday, April 20, 2014

me trace and gary

Photo booth fun with the Wyers (@ Estancia La Jolla)

Mr. & Mrs. Olivar.
Sunday, April 20, 2014

DIY typography gift tag for wedding

Congrats #MrAndMrsOlivar! (@ Estancia La Jolla)

errol olivar and aimee lumbo wedding

Every time one of us gets married, it’s like a mini reunion. I love that no matter how many days, months or years have gone by, we can all still pick up right where we left off ♥

Homeward bound.
Sunday, November 11, 2012

airplane sky window southwest

…or LA bound at least. I’m back from my sister’s fabulous wedding in Vegas! More soon…

Too Late.
Sunday, October 28, 2012

someecards beach diet

Or your sister’s wedding in two weeks…

Sweet Success.
Monday, October 1, 2012

yellow and gray bridal invitation

Pammie’s bridal shower was a sweet success!

I Will Wait.
Monday, September 24, 2012

I’ve always wanted to A) watch a show at Red Rocks and B) see Mumford and Sons live… Someday I’ll do both (just not any day soon). Mumford announced their one show in LA this year, and it just happens to be the day of my sister’s wedding! Boo whore.

Bushiest Beaver.
Monday, September 24, 2012

ain't nobody got time for that

I should get the bushiest beaver award for planning Pammie’s bridal shower! There’s no time for blogging when you’re busy making fondant hearts and fabric bunting. What has my life come to?

Newlyweds.
Sunday, September 2, 2012

tracee lorenzana and gary wyer

Congrats Trace & Gary ♥

GPOY.
Sunday, September 2, 2012

happy endings - brad and jane - destroy myself at the bar

Error.
Saturday, September 1, 2012

you are what you eat - i need to eat a skinny person

Pammie’s wedding is only ten weeks away!

My maid of honor dress has no room for error. And I’m just gonna tell you right now… there’s a lot of error.

True Story.
Thursday, August 2, 2012

Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant. I’m just getting more awesome. Barney HIMYM

Say Yes to the Dress.
Monday, July 23, 2012

pammie wedding dress

I went wedding dress shopping with Pammie this past weekend. It was like an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, except I was the one tearing up! She looked so beautiful ♥

We took the dress back home to her condo where she suggested I try it on. Why not, right? It might be the only chance I get to wear a wedding dress! Ha. More than 24 hours have passed since I took that gorgeous gown off, and I am still dead inside.

Going to the Chapel.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012

planet hollywood las vegas wedding chapel

I took a shotgun trip to Vegas this past weekend with my sister and her fiance to finalize plans for their wedding this November. I’m going to be the best maid of honor ever! Or at least the sexiest one… I’ll work that angle 😉 Ha.

Let the wedding workout regimen commence!

STD.
Sunday, April 29, 2012

vintage wedding save the date tracee lorenzana gary wyer

I designed this simple save the date for my dear friend Trace and her fiancé Gary ♥

More from my design portfolio here.

Promise.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012

happy endings dave and penny

DAVE: You might not meet not somebody tonight, but you will meet someone.
PENNY: You promise?
DAVE: Yes… as long as you promise to stop slobbering all over the champagne.
PENNY: I can’t promise that.

Wedding Season.
Sunday, April 1, 2012

idntfd edgar sarmiento tweet

Why else would I be working out on a Sunday morning?

I’m so happy that all my friends are getting married this year, I’m not even jealous. Except for at night when I’m in my closet eating ice cream alone.

emma stone crying ice cream

Breaking Dawn.
Sunday, November 27, 2011

breaking dawn wedding gif

Sleeping At Last – Turning Page

I’ve waited a hundred years
But I’d wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

I may or may not have cried during this scene when I watched it for the first time at the theater on Friday. And again when I watched it on Saturday. And a third time while watching the bootleg I just downloaded today.

Hoarder.
Sunday, June 13, 2010

Chel’s stepmom threw her a bridal shower this weekend. It wasn’t half as crazy as the bachelorette party, but my aunts still dropped it low with bananas tied around their waists (is it just my dirty family, or do most of the games at your family parties involve bananas, too?). The highlight of my evening was when Chel’s baby brother found a leftover stripper dollar tucked in between the couch cushions.

Pammie, Shi and I gave Chel this Nixon watch she has been lusting after for years. I’m not sure why she was so surprised that I kept that email where she told us about it… I still have handwritten letters dating back to sixth grade. I also have 19 saved voice messages that I have to go through every time I get a new voice message on my cell phone. And my inbox is full of saved text messages, so I have to delete a text every time I get a new one. I’m the worst offender when it comes to hoarding things with sentimental value. And if you can’t understand why I can’t bring myself to delete my friend’s text message informing me of Michael Jackson’s death last year, then you are dead to me—I’m talking to you, Shirley May!

Thanks for coming.
Sunday, June 6, 2010

I woke up today smelling like baby lotion and Caress body wash with leftover dollar bills in my bra and a sudden urge to go to church. Here are some of the awesome things that happened at Chel’s bachelorette party last night in no particular order (other than most to least favorite):

  1. Firefighter Tom from Alpine poured tequila down my shirt and did a body shot off my chest (among other things). Let it be known that I’m officially on the prowl for an east county white boy.
  2. There was no shortage of penis-shaped food.
  3. Preggo bartender Georja kept pumping out those test tube shots!
  4. It was an 80s themed party and EVERYONE dressed up. Christine was my fave and looked just like my mom did in the 80s with her acid wash jean jacket and hairsprayed bangs.
  5. The porno playing on TV throughout the whole night made it into the background of most of my photos.
  6. I spent over $150 at the passion party. I don’t even spend that much on groceries! At least some of the products I bought were edible.

A lot of other things happened that I can’t mention—which is saying a lot considering I told you about that stripper licking tequila off my chest.

Maniac.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010

80s flashdance costume

I wasted an hour of my life looking for leg warmers at Parkway Plaza after work today. Are they hard to find because it’s summer or because it’s not 1983??? They’re essential to my outfit for Chel’s highly anticipated 80s/bachelorette/passion party this weekend, and I must have them! Preferably in purple!

Best man or worst man?
Monday, May 31, 2010

The hideousness of this dance will haunt my dreams forever.

Another one bites the dust.
Saturday, May 29, 2010

Congrats to the Naveas! The table I was assigned to was the last to be served dinner, but the closest to the open bar (clearly the best table).

jed and alana's wedding

Featured: DIY Bride
Friday, May 14, 2010

diy bride feature

This is the fifth site that has featured the wedding invitations I designed for Chel. Yay us!

A blessing and a curse.
Friday, May 7, 2010

I’m all about good food and good drinks with good friends, and this diet is just ruining my life. I don’t even know who I am right now. Did I really say no to Cinco de Drinko at D&B’s with Jay and his coworkers AND margaritas at Ortega’s with Shi and her coworkers this week? I think the bigger question is what’s the deal with me hanging out with my friends and their coworkers??? As a general rule, I don’t go out with the people I work with. At least not since my manager’s drunken birthday disaster of 2008. Yikes. Anyway, with only six weeks left till Chel’s wedding, I’ve been eating bird portions and hitting the gym every night in a late attempt to fit into the bridesmaid dress I purposely (and over ambitiously) ordered three sizes too small. Apparently, losing 25 pounds wasn’t enough. It would’ve been, had I lost it all in my chest. As I always say, these ladies are a blessing and a curse. This sudden spike in turbo kickboxing classes has also left me with some seriously sore stems. I have to admit, walking around like I’ve just been butt-raped has been very humbling.

Confirmed.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Today, I’m excited because:

  1. I just bought tickets to the Neon Trees/30 Seconds to Mars show in LA.
  2. I weighed myself after a few months of dieting/exercising/losing my will to live for Chel‘s wedding, and I’ve lost 25 pounds.
  3. Shawn the stripper has been confirmed for Chel’s bachelorette/passion party.

I don’t think I have to tell you which one I’m most excited about… Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve been looking for an excuse to bring Shawn back into my life since 2005 😉

Feature: Beyond/Beyond
Friday, April 9, 2010

BEYOND / BEYOND:

So, we saw this, threw in the design towel, found a quiet dark corner, cried & ate chocolate. Three syllable word A-MA-ZING. These lovelies come from Mayan Rocks who we found via Hifiweddings.com.

Thanks for the feature and the sweet email 🙂

RT @hifiweddings.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010

hi-fi weddings tweet

Another feature! Thanks, Ashley! I designed the invitations, but the bride-to-be designed the candy bags, slam books and RSVPs 🙂

Feature: Oh So Beautiful Paper
Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Oh So Beautiful Paper featured the wedding invitations I designed for Chel on their website. No big deal 😉 I couldn’t be happier if they were invitations to my own wedding! Actually, let’s not get carried away now…

Raechel and Alex’s DIY wedding invitations are all about two of my favorite things – music and kraft paper! Raechel worked with her cousin Marion to design the invitations, incorporating Raechel and Alex’s shared love of music throughout the wedding stationery while using a typewriter font and copper brads for a slight vintage vibe:

vintage custom wedding invitation

vintage custom wedding invitation

vintage custom wedding invitation

Check out the rest of the feature here and additional work in my portfolio.

Way harsh, Tai.
Sunday, March 21, 2010

I woke up at an ungodly hour this morning to attend boot camp with the girls downtown at Embarcadero Marina Park. We had a beautiful view of the marina, but I was too distracted by the sweat dripping into my eyes and the blinding pain in my legs from warming up on the stairs of the convention center. I’m definitely gonna be hurting tomorrow.

I officially have 90 days till Chel’s wedding. One dress size down, two more to go…

Do you guys want to know how to make these sit ups easier?
LOSE SOME WEIGHT!

Edward Camarillo, Personal Trainer

Way harsh, Tai.

Always a bridesmaid.
Sunday, March 14, 2010

Chel asked me a burning question I’m sure you’ve all been losing sleep over…

Am I going to have a +1 at her wedding???

I’ve spent the past couple of days mulling over this question. I thought about it while we waited in line for Alice in Wonderland, and Chel asked everyone except me who was the funnier one in their current relationships (you don’t need to ask me who was funnier in all my past relationships—I’m clearly a riot). The four of us have been attached at the nip for as long as I can remember, and I have always been the single one out. Sure, a couple of them have been single while I was single (and for a very brief moment we all were single), but I’m the only one who is ever single alone. I thought about it again when I went to dinner with my sister earlier tonight, and we ran into two of her ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends. I realized that all of them were engaged—her ex-boyfriend and all of his ex’s, my sister included.

I’m almost certain that my status will remain unchanged three months from now. That’s not me being pessimistic; I’m actually quite the opposite. I think I see the good in people too often, thinking that they’re worth more than they really are… even though they continue to disprove me repeatedly. It doesn’t help that today marks a full week since Il Postino did me dirty again (and not in a good way), and as predicted, no apologies have been offered.

And so I told Chel that I won’t be needing a +1. She already has 300 guests. I don’t want her spending another $50 on dinner for this tentative +1 of mine. Alas, I will be the only one out of five bridesmaids and two maids of honor without a date. And if you’re reading this thinking, “Damn, I really wanted to be your +1…” then maybe you should stop stalking me on the internet and make movements instead—yes, I’m talking to you, Anthony!

Craftastic.
Saturday, March 13, 2010

raechel and flex's wedding invitations

I had a craftastic evening with the bride-to-be and her bevy of bridesmaids. I finished the wedding invitations while the girls worked on the centerpieces. Check us out—designing invitations, hot gluing sticks together (or in Shi’s case, her hair), living in a personal hell I call diet and exercise in order to fit into our dresses… Being a bridesmaid is serious work! It’s a good thing I love this broad.

Livin’ their love song.
Saturday, March 6, 2010

Run Into Flowers:

Just received the final version of the cover of my wedding invitations. Thanks so much to the talented Mayan for designing the whole thing!! 143!

chel and flex's wedding invitation

I tried to capture Chel’s vintage style while incorporating everything she wanted—layers of sheet music, lace, typewriter font, and her wedding colors, pink and brown. The invitations will be printed on cream linen cardstock. I can’t wait to see how they turn out 🙂

Sweet sabotage.
Saturday, February 13, 2010

edible arrangement

I came home from the gym this morning to this chocolate covered strawberry bouquet sent from my sister and her fiancé. I smell sabotage… sweet, sweet sabotage. I didn’t work out every day this week and pull three two-a-days to indulge in dessert—I did it so I could drink my sorrows away tonight with my single friends. My sister is so thoughtful, though 🙂 She knows how much I hate this godforsaken holiday.

By Your Side.
Monday, February 1, 2010

sade - soldier of love

I just downloaded Sade’s new album, Soldier of Love. I’m not sure which iTunes playlist to file it under—Baby Makin’ Music or Sad Times? Conundrum!

By Your Side is still my all-time favorite Sade song. I’ve known it was going to be my wedding song since the first time I heard it in 2000. Ten years later, I’m still not married I haven’t changed my mind.

When you’re on the outside baby and you can’t get in
I will show you you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home

Vagina with a P.
Sunday, January 31, 2010

I was going to be an A0 poster with gold foil block & embossing, but times are hard.

Pammie, Shi, Anthony and I went to Chel’s house last night to help her with wedding stuff. Chel asked me to design her wedding invitations, and I couldn’t be more honored 🙂 She has 300 guests and is trying to keep the wedding costs down. It’s a good thing I work for lychee sake and tator tots.

The Cake Boss asked me to go out to some bar my friends were spinning at, McLovin’ texted me at an unholy hour, and I even had a brief exchange with Il Postino last night. When it rains, it pours I guess. There’s no where in the world I’d rather be than with these crazy bitches, though. God forbid I miss conversations like this…

Anthony: I was texting Chel about your website, and she got really annoyed because I kept calling it your “page”…
Chel: It’s called a blog. Stop calling it that.
Anthony: Whatever, I’ll call it her pagina if I want to.
Chel: Oh, is that what you were calling it? Page in spanish? All this time I thought you were texting me pagina. Like vagina with a p!

Le’sigh… Never a dull moment 🙂

(image via ffffound)

The key word in “diet” is “die.”
Monday, January 4, 2010

I have six months to find a date fit into my bridesmaid dress for Chel and Flex’s wedding. A dress that I purposely ordered three sizes too small. It’s only day one of my diet and I’m miserable. Probably from all the food I didn’t eat. And all the Coke I didn’t drink. And the migraine I’ve had since I got home from work. I’ll have to keep reminding myself that “nothing tastes as good as thin feels” whenever I get the sudden urge to sit around and eat sticks of butter from different lands. It’s gonna be a long six months.

You don’t alter Vera Wang to fit you. You alter yourself to fit Vera.

– Bride Wars
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