…or how I start every 4th of July.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest was delayed for 2 hours because of the NYC rain, but I eventually got to watch Joey Chestnut win his 16th mustard belt 🌭

My sister’s husband is convinced that I secretly have a poster of Joey Chestnut in my apartment, and I can’t confirm or deny that.

Red, white and blue (cheese) – I was that asshole at three different grocery stores looking for that slice of heaven that is humboldt fog in the artisanal cheese aisle to complete my board.

Views and ‘cue – two of my favorite things. This private rooftop is a dream.

Not pictured: me almost lighting my hair on fire after some lunatic let me be in charge of the short ribs

Listen, sometimes you have to choose between buying a box of costco king crab legs or paying your rent. Luckily, Pammie bought these babies and afforded me another month in my studio. Ha.

Is it even a party if you don’t stock your wine fridge with white claw???

Alicia got me this icee machine for my birthday a few years ago, and I don’t know why I waited so long to bust it out (besides diabetes and the lack of counter space). I’m pretty sure Shi and I had more icees than the kids did!

Christine came through with the Crumbl cookies!

Added bonus: The rooftop has a clear view of the fireworks from the olympic training center.

I hope everyone’s 4th was as lit as the illegal fireworks we bought on the side of the road!

Thanks to Pammie for hosting the best party ever at her new digs! Same time next year???

(via @heatherland_iaintdoinit)

I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).

Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.