» eye candy
Wednesday, June 18, 2014

spain is on my fucket list

Beard Magic.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014

levi get well soon

This is only the best e-card anyone has ever made me.
Thanks, Zack (and Levi!) ♥

Unsolicited facts about me.
Monday, February 3, 2014

milo ventimiglia vampire movie

Beards are my kryptonite. So are neck bites.

Mob City.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013

milo ventimiglia - mob city

Oh my Milo. Mob City has arrived.

The Voice.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013

adam levine the voice shy cardigan gif

Just Adam Levine being the light of my life as usual.

I can’t even.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013

marlon brando - rebel without a cause screen test - rolling eyes - gif

I literally cannot even. I am unable to even. I have lost my ability to even.

Fuck, Marlon Brando was such a babe ♥

My Future.
Sunday, May 5, 2013

adam levine naked puzzle

My mom just texted me a screenshot of this puzzle she’s been doing on her iPad.
You guys, this is my future.

Hamm & Eggs.
Friday, April 12, 2013

jon hamm and eggs

I would eat this up in the morning. And then have him cook me breakfast afterwards 😉

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif
the mindy project man gif the mindy project man gif

Sarcastic asshole? Check.
Man’s man? Check.
Danny Castellano is clearly my type.

Happy Monday.
Monday, September 24, 2012

jgl on snl magic mike
jgl on snl magic mike

Holy pelvic thrust, Robin!

Did anyone else spend their Saturday night in their bra and underwear watching JGL on SNL???

Yeah, me either.

The Other Side.
Sunday, August 12, 2012

ian somerhalder jared leto obama fundraiser

I’m pretty sure this is what will be waiting for me on the other side when my time comes.

Monday, August 6, 2012

paul walker haircut spring valley

Spring Valley: Where Paul Walker gets his fabulous $10 hair cuts (but only on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays).

Don’t tease me, bro.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012

ian somerhalder laters baby button comic con 2012 fifty shades of grey
ian somerhalder laters baby button comic con 2012 fifty shades of grey

Smolderhalder and one of the free Fifty Shades pins they were giving out at Comic Con!

The net worth of that pin just went up. A lot.

Bomer Town.
Friday, July 13, 2012

matt bomer white collar

4:06 PM Jesse: Team USA: White Collar Is Your One-Way Ticket to Bomer Town
  did i just hear a sigh as soon as you saw matt bomer?
4:07 PM me: lol can you hear me smiling, too? 🙂
York Peppermint Porno.
Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fuck, can I get pregnant from this???

L.A. Noir.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012

milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit
milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit milo ventimiglia prestige magazine hot suit

Milo Ventimiglia—a founding member of my freebie five—is suiting up as a mob lawyer in Frank Darabont’s new TNT drama, L.A. Noir.

snow white apple dead gif

Magic Mike.
Friday, June 1, 2012

channing tatum magic mike mtv citywalk

Mel has been working on the MTV Movie Awards all week and was able to get me and Shi into an advance screening of Magic Mike plus Q&A with Channing Tatum in LA last night!


ovaries exploding gif

More photos here.

Save Water!
Monday, May 28, 2012

save water, shower with ian somerhalder

i volunteer gif - the hunger games

Fifty Shades of Grey.
Monday, May 14, 2012

I read Fifty Shades of Grey almost immediately after I heard that Ian Somerhalder—a permanent resident in my freebie five—might play the lead in the film adaptation. Also, the mention of a ‘sex chamber’ may or may not have swayed my decision.

My ovaries would explode if any of these guys got picked to play Christian Grey (left to right: Ian Somerhalder, Wes Bentley, Matt Bomer):

fifty shades of grey - christian grey - ian somerhalder wes bentley matt bomer

Clearly, I have a type!

I finished reading it in less than 24 hours. Never has a book left me so satiated… It’s so jaw-droppingly sexy that I’m not sure how they’re going to make it a movie without it being illegal in some small countries!

I wish my friends would read it already so I could have someone to discuss it with. This must be how those b’s felt about me and Breaking Dawn—I’ve been trying to finish the last book of the Twilight saga since 2008, but all my attempts to read it end with me throwing it across the room in hysterics.

On to Fifty Shades Darker! Laters, baby 😉

Thursday, April 12, 2012

adam levine hot tattoos

Adam Levine’s supermodel girlfriend dumped him and his delicious beard ten days ago, and I’m just finding out about it now???

Clearly, I’m following the wrong people on Twitter.

The Gamemaker.
Monday, March 26, 2012

wes bentley - seneca crane

Fuck, I love me some Seneca Crane. Any chance those were non-toxic berries at the end of the movie?

Friday, September 30, 2011

adam levine

I went home sick from work today. Besides drinking my weight in orange juice, I’ve been staring at this picture of Adam Levine for the past twenty minutes… and probably for another ten.

Dirty Sanchez.
Thursday, September 22, 2011

mark sanchez gq magazine

3:12 PM me: he’s a beautiful man
  Jesse: he looks like mario lopez here
3:13 PM me: how dare you!

And THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is why I love Mexicans 24 year olds Mark Sanchez.

Crazy Stupid Love.
Sunday, August 21, 2011

crazy stupid love ryan gosling eating pizza

The only thing better than Ryan Gosling in a suit is Ryan Gosling eating pizza in a suit. That slice from Sbarro bumps this animated gif up from a 10 to an 11!

Now who do I have to sleep with around here for someone to seed this Crazy Stupid Love torrent that’s been stuck at 56% for the past three hours???

Chanandler Bong.
Thursday, July 7, 2011

paul walker running scared

9:06 AM Jesse: that rape van has been parked outside for like two weeks
  me: is there someone inside who needs our help?
  like in running scared… wait you’ve seen that right
9:07 AM Jesse: mmm i dont remember that part
  me: were you distracted by paul walker’s piercing blue eyes?
  i’m sure that was it
  Jesse: you know i must have been
  speaking of which
9:08 AM i rewatched casino royale and quantum of solace with daniel craig
  dude his eyes are like the color of windex
  me: omg there’s this movie i want to see
  with the transponder and clive owen
9:09 AM Jesse: you mean the transporter? jason statham?
  me: wait wait wait
  are you talking about daniel craig’s eyes right now lolol
  you know i was gonna say transporter, and then i was like no, it’s transponder… is that even a word

Yes, I got Jason Statham confused with Chandler Bing. And yes, this pretty much sums up what the rest of my day at work looked like.

The Beard.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011

adam levine the voice beard

After conquering the pink card, I like to go home and reward myself by watching The Voice on mute and staring at Adam Levine’s delicious beard.

From my personal collection at home…
Monday, April 25, 2011

I’m still sick, so I’m lying in bed with tissues lodged up my left nostril, coughing up my insides and watching this video of Paul Walker on repeat.

Boys, try not to fall in love with me.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The girls and I went to Hawaii a few years ago, and Chris, the parasailing instructor from Seabreeze Water Sports, was the highlight of my trip! Christine vacationed in Hawaii this past weekend and Chris was still there. And still hot. And still half naked. He literally charmed her panties off. Just kidding. (It was a bathing suit bottom!)

When are we going back?!

This is fulfilling some weird fantasy for me.
Sunday, January 9, 2011

Ellen: [About him and Michelle Williams] I like you individually, I like you as a couple, I don’t know if you guys are a couple, you’re being cagey about it, I know that. If you’re a couple I’m all for it. Wait, you’re pedaling faster, what’s happening?
Ryan: I’m trying to get away from this conversation.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

community cooperative calligraphy

Shirley: You don’t have a bag?
Jeff: I could never deprive the world of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.

Fuck, I love me some Joel McHale ♥

Meet me in the boiler room.
Thursday, November 18, 2010

Oh, Jordan Catalano. I’d let you make out with me in the boiler room, even though you’d just ignore me at the Buffalo Tom show afterward. I can’t wait to see you on my birthday!

Monday, October 11, 2010

charlie hunnam men's fitness sons of anarchy jax

Um, was Charlie Hunnam’s beard always this thick? Or is it just getting hot in here? I’m deeply concerned by this blonde infiltration of my Freebie Five.

The heart wants what the heart wants.
Monday, September 13, 2010

paul walker half naked in the ocean

Say hello to my new iPhone wallpaper. Sometimes I just lock it and unlock it so I can stare at this photo (and by sometimes I mean all the time). I’ve never been into blondes, but the heart wants what the heart wants. And the heart wants Paul Walker. Half naked. In the ocean.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

paul walker gq suit takers

Watching Takers with the girls last night sparked a new found interest in Paul Walker. YOWZA. I love a man in a suit, whether it be business or birthday 😉

More photos of Paul Walker suited up in GQ here.

Update: I just watched Paul Walker in Running Scared, and apparently I also love a man in a plaid button down with a gun in his hand. He is GANGSTA in this movie! And now he has officially taken up permanent residence in my Freebie Five.

Yes, please.
Friday, July 30, 2010

joseph gordon levitt hot premium rush

Oh, hello, new wallpaper.
Thursday, July 22, 2010

joseph gordon levitt wallpaper

(image via ohfuckyeahjosephgordon-levitt)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

jacob black taylor lautner shirtless twilight eclipse new moon

I mean… is this kid 18 yet? I need to know this information before I comment on his V-line.

I think you know what I need.
Thursday, July 1, 2010

Friday, June 25, 2010

Inception Joseph Gordon Levitt Leo DiCaprio

How have I not heard about this movie till now? Considering Joseph Gordon Levitt and Leo DiCaprio were both (at one time or another) in my Freebie Five, my vagina could not be more excited.

Viva Ronaldo.
Thursday, June 24, 2010

I officially became a soccer fan at 2:12.

Beards… they grow on you.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010

ryan reynolds beard

I’ve got such a boner for beards. came out with a random list of the Five Most Impressive Beards in Hollywood. Ryan Reynolds rightfully snagged #5, while the #1 beard went to Katie Holmes LOL.

Holy Chino.
Thursday, June 10, 2010


You complete me.
Monday, May 17, 2010

fuck yeah robert downey jr

(image via fuckyeahrdj)

Yes, please.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010

shirtless ian somerhalder

Ian Somerhalder needs to have my babies already.

Ohno yes.
Saturday, February 27, 2010

apolo anton ohno red

Did I mention how much I love the Winter Olympics???

Dear John Channing.
Monday, February 1, 2010

I’m not gonna lie—my vagina is pretty excited.

Dirty Sanchez.
Sunday, January 17, 2010

mark sanchez

I love you, Mark Sanchez, but my San Diego Chargers are gonna kick your beautiful ass today. BOLTS, BABY!

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