I think I may have found a date for Valentine’s Day. So what if my “date” is a married man with three kids and two dogs? And who cares if by “Valentine’s Day” I really meant Chinese New Year (which just happens to fall on the same day)? Whatever.

Sam the Cooking Guy is having this contest where the prize is to have dim sum with him (plus a friend and four other couples) at Emerald that day. All you have to do to be eligible is translate this Mandarin phrase posted in his newsletter. My grandpa was Chinese, but the only Mandarin words I know are the ones you can find inside P.F. Chang’s menu. I asked every Chinese person I knew to translate this phrase for me—my co-worker’s friend in Arizona, one of my sister’s co-workers in her auditing department, my ex-boyfriend’s sister’s fiancé… They all agreed on the same translation, so I’ve submitted my entry. Wish me luck! If I don’t win, I’ll be forced to hit the bars and make some bad decisions…

Dyanne, Pammie and I drove up to LA Friday night for the Smitten exhibit at the Thinkspace Art Gallery in Silverlake. Two of our favorite artists, Stella Im Hultberg and Audrey Kawasaki, were part of the all girl show, so we couldn’t miss it. We picked up Pammie in the OC and were stuck in LA traffic at 10pm. Lame! Luckily, Thinkspace stayed open past closing time, and we got to see all the gorgeous art. You should definitely check it out if you’re near LA (or even if you’re 135 miles away like us). Or you can just look at my pictures from the exhibit. We schlepped through midnight traffic after the show to hit up Diddy Riese in Westwood. YUM-O. The area around UCLA is pretty cool…. made me think about getting my MFA in graphic design there, but I looked into it today and they don’t offer it. I started looking at other universities outside of San Diego, though. I suppose I should concentrate on getting my BA first! My schedule is going to be insane this fall with both my graphic design internship and regular job on top of a full load at school. There goes my social life. Even June is looking pretty exhausting since I’m working full time over the summer and still squeezing a class and my internship in. Oh, well. It’ll help me save for when Dyanne and I move out together at the end of summer… not that I’ll have any free time to actually enjoy our fabulously designed apartment!

Taking this photo at Edgar’s last weekend of the old Mcdonald’s crew (or as Julz calls us… “the 25 & up crowd”) got us reminiscing about when we all used to work there together. Nearly a decade later, and I’m still hanging out with the same people. They say that I’m not much different now than I was back in the day. I guess it’s true when I’m reminded of stories like this…

Our Mcdonald’s had the standard drive-thru with one window where you’d pay for your order and another where you’d get your food. On crazy days like the dreaded Cheeseburger Sunday, we would open a second window where you could order… a tandem window, if you will. For some reason, Jed would always assign me to the tandem window. Looking back at it now, I’m convinced it was for his own personal amusement. Anyway, orders were taken in one line at both the regular and tandem windows when it was busy. The only way anyone would know what order to give to which car was to press the tandem button whenever an order from that window was taken. Being the forgetful person you love and adore, I’d always fail to remember that one little detail. Sheryll and Pammie would often give the wrong food to the wrong car because of me. “Press tandem, Mayan!” they’d always say. Not much has changed since then.. Except now I have to be reminded about more important things like remembering to bring my driver’s license so not to disrupt my date with Jack Daniels at the bar. Just kidding. I’d much rather have Filipino Cowboys these days. Ask Mitch at Landlord’s to hook you up!

Spring break is such a tease! I’ve still got six weeks of classes and interning left and all I can think about is going to the beach with my friends and all my favorite musicians going on tour. I watched John Legend and Corinne Bailey Rae perform at the Embarcadero with Pammie, Chel and Shi tonight. We had an “avencha” (as Mark would say) and ended up walking thirty or so blocks! I could have definitely skipped my workout earlier this afternoon. I thought we were gonna have to haul a cab (or paramedic) for Shi! Ha, ha! Check out my vids from the show. Be jealous!

I was thinking about going up to LA tomorrow to see OneRepublic with Dyanne at the Viper Room, but they sold out today. I think I’ll go to the beach instead and work on achieving the natural tan of the islands. I attempted to get my tan on the other day with Trace, but it was mostly cloudy, so we spent half the time underneath blankets eating sandwiches. I’m still ridiculously pale, but those sandwiches were really, really tasty.

We’ve been celebrating Trace’s birthday for the past week! Here are some pictures to prove it.

So I was driving to work yesterday feeling particularly emo, because I was listening to my Top 25 Most Played list randomly selected songs on my iPod that were all coincidentally depressing. But while I was contemplating driving my car into oncoming traffic, I saw a semi drive by with no trailer. I love those things…

What? Semi’s driving around without trailers don’t make your day? You’re weird.

I was at this bar last weekend and some guy told my friend that he wanted to “lick her all night long” (and he was so ridiculously drunk that he fell out of his chair minutes later). Seriously, who says that shit? An even bigger question is how come he didn’t offer to lick ME all night long? Not that I would’ve let him (and his tongue) come within a ten-mile radius of my body. Disgusto. I don’t get this whole dating thing. I’ve been single for a year TODAY. I was with my ex for seven years, three of which I was still a teenager. All of my girlfriends are attached except for one (and she belongs on The L Word). I’m not remotely attracted to any one… I’m convinced my husband is not in San Diego. My therapist says it’s important for me to be single, because I haven’t been single since I was sixteen, and I should take this time to focus on myself before jumping into another relationship… and by “therapist” I mean my friend… who is also single… who I secretly think wants me to remain single with her. Boo whore.

I’ve been challenged to list five things you don’t know about me, but there is privileged information I haven’t already vomited all over cyber space with good reason. Instead, I’ll list five incidents that cemented my reputation as somewhat of a space cadet among my friends.

1. Pammie and I were in the OC walking back to my car after lunch. It was freezing out and I asked her where we were. She said, “Santa Ana,” and I was like, “Ohhhh… No wonder it’s so windy here.” She stopped walking and laughed at me while I stood there freezing my ass off.

2. Jay was talking about how Ernie Reyes Jr’s dad was this martial arts master and starred in a few movies. I said, “Who’s Ernie Reyes Jr’s dad?” and Jay was all, “Um, that would be Ernie Reyes, Mayan.”

3. Errol, Pammie, Jay and I went to Skokie’s to watch “Everything is Illuminated.” Skok popped the DVD in and was like, “Hit play, Mayan” so I just hit the play button on the DVD player. Thirty minutes go by before we realize that we just watched deleted scene after deleted scene thinking the entire time that we were watching the actual movie and they had just Tarantino’d the shit out of it. At the end of the movie, I was like, “That’s weird… None of the deleted scenes were in the movie.” …and I was serious.

4. Meehchelle and I were in the kitchen at our cabin in Big Bear and Pammie was showering upstairs. (I thought) Meehchelle said, “What does your sister call you, Mayan?” I gave her this confused look and was like… “Um… Mayan?” and she looked at me in disbelief before saying, “Your sister is calling you, Mayan” as I heard Pammie’s distant cries in the background because Julz had used up all the hot water… and I thought SHE was the clueless one in this conversation.

5. I was at a gas station with Jay buying some cupcakes and M&Ms to fashion a makeshift cake for Pammie’s birthday. Jay noticed my confusion as I stood in the candy aisle with a bag of king-sized M&Ms in one hand and regular M&Ms in the other. I was like, “Feel these bags, Jay. This one’s supposed to be king-sized, but the M&Ms are the same size in both bags…” Before dying of laughter, he managed to say, “Sweetie, ‘king-sized’ refers to the size of the bag, not the size of the M&Ms!” Oh hell no.

I’ve only listed five, but sadly, shit like this happens all the time. My friends like to hoard these “mayanisms” and whip them out amongst strangers whenever the opportunity presents itself, so most people already think I’m a space cadet before I get a fighting chance to convince them otherwise. Now that I’ve broadcasted these infamous stories on the internet, they never have to be repeated again (and again and again… I’m talking to YOU, Jay!).

Listening to music in my car had become a very dim memory to me. After more than a year of talking to myself, rolling down my windows to hear the radio in the car next to me, and painfully silent drives to and from the OC and LA, my car stereo is finally fixed… and I did it! ME… Mayan. The girl who leaves her ATM card in the freezer and finds it a week later when she’s craving popsicles. I can’t even remember how to get to your apartment that I’ve been to a million times, but I can at least listen to music while I’m lost now! I got tired of waiting for a new boyfriend to come along and fix it for me, so I decided to (attempt to) do it myself! I did some online troubleshooting, bought this replacement ribbon-looking thing off of eBay not knowing if that would fix it or not, somehow got my stereo out of my car (after watching my ex do it so many times before), unscrewed a bunch of unnecessary parts to get to that ribbon piece inside, tore out the ribbon piece, replaced it with the new one, put all the parts back together (but was somehow left with six extra screws), plugged it back into my car and it WORKED! I almost cried from the sound of music. I called Pammie up because I had to tell SOMEONE about the unthinkable feat I had just accomplished… Then five minutes later, as I’m shoving the stereo into the hole where it used to be, the power shuts off! I called Pammie in a blind rage and she said that her friend could look at it for me. I consoled myself by taking a long bath and giving myself a pedicure while Pammie took my car to get fixed. Later, I heard the garage open and she called the house and told me that her friend couldn’t fix it, but she had something for me outside. I thought she brought me back a present to make me happy because she’s an awesome sister like that, but I went outside, toe separators and all, and she was bumping Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” in MY car! Turns out I blew a fuse when I tried the shove the stereo back in… so I really did fix my radio! I just happened to blow a fuse in the process. Technicalities.

It has been more than a year since the Great Purse Disaster of 2005, and the only thing I have left to replace are my Gucci sunglasses (pummelled to bits by car after passing car). I wore them well past their prime (even when my prescription had changed and I couldn’t afford to replace the ridiculously priced lenses). I could usually care less about brand named anything, but I wear glasses all the time (even in the shower when there’s a spider in the bathroom), so they might as well be nice, right? Looking for sunglasses is an uphill battle because of my horrendous vision and need for frames with just the right shaped lenses that can handle my crazy prescription. After some extensive shopping, I’ve found a suitable (albeit entirely too expensive) replacement for my Guccis. I bought new eyeglasses this past summer, and I’ve been looking for a justifiable reason to spend more than half a grand splurge on these sunglasses I’ve been lusting after. I think I’ve finally found a reason: Valentine’s Day.

It’s my first valentine-less year since I rocked braces and colored contacts (nearly a decade). Overpriced sunglasses would make a nice Valentine’s gift to myself, don’t you think? Help me afford them by buying some goods from the shop!

Every year, I make the same New Year’s resolution to lose enough weight to fit into my skinny jeans again — not the trendy skinny jeans immortalized by Audrey Hepburn in the Gap commercial, but the jeans I wore when I was skinny…er. Because let’s face it, I was never (and probably never will be) skinny. I thought for 2007 I’d resolve to do more than that. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

– Fall in love with someone who knows my worth.
– Quit the BS. It’ll be very clear if I don’t like you. I’m tired of being nice.
– Fix my car stereo on my own.
– Strengthen relationships I value. Drop those that don’t matter.
– Focus more on myself and less on others.
– Take/pass 42 units so I can get my BA next spring.
– Move out of San Diego (I might save this one for 2008).

2006 was a year of realization… who my real friends are, what really matters (and doesn’t matter) to me, the potential for something better. I’m ready for a new year and a new life.

Okay so I asked my dad to change the dead bulb in one of my head lights, but as little as I know about cars, he knows even littler (yes, it’s a word). I ate some dinner, approved some myspace comments, picked some lint off my pants… Almost an hour later, I’m on my way out with Pammie to go grocery shopping and there, sitting in the garage, is my dad shining a flashlight under the hood of my car. “You are NOT still replacing my light bulb!” I say. He says he can’t figure it out. “This is why I need a boyfriend,” I tell him. He nods in agreement. Sad times. I always had a boyfriend around to change my lightbulbs, jumpstart my car, hook up my (now defunct) stereo with an iPod cable, unlock my car when I leave my keys inside of it, change my oil, replace my front bumper when I accidentally strike dogs on the street (okay so that was a one-time thing)… I thought about this last night on the radio-less car ride home from LA. I saw this DIY repair kit for my stereo on eBay, but thought that even if I bought this kit, I wouldn’t know how to take my stereo out of my car and attempt to repair it. I should really learn how to do these things.. Or I can just marry a mechanic (who moonlights as a chef — I can’t cook, either).

Yesterday, instead of sitting at home refreshing my myspace page for new comments, I decided to get out of San Diego for a while. Pammie had an interview in the OC and I went up with her so we could spend the day shopping. I went to the anti-mall while she got her interview on, and I picked up some cute stuff from Urban Outfitters. By some form of miracle, I made it to the anti-mall and back to my sister’s interview without getting lost. This newfound sense of direction lasted about three blocks before I got lost again on the way to Southcoast Plaza. We ate lunch and headed up to LA so we could hit up the new H&M at the Beverly Center. H&M was my favorite store in NYC. They really need to open one in San Diego… We spent HOURS in that store. I convinced Pammie to pick up this gorgeous top that didn’t entirely fit, just so she could use it as a goal shirt. I know you girls know what I’m talking about.. Like those skinny jeans that you used to fit that you keep in the back of your closet just in case you ever get that skinny again. We all have them… and if you’re saying you don’t, then you’re either a realist (like Pammie was before yesterday), you’re lying, or you’ve always been skinny (in which case I officially hate you). Cute clothes are a great motivation to lose all that weight you gained while you were with your ex-boyfriend for seven years and didn’t need to impress anyone. Not that I know anything about that. Anyway, we wandered around the mall for a while and I somehow managed to lose the mini extension cord for my ear buds that I just picked up at Sony Style not an hour before. Different city, same Mayan. We went to P.F. Chang’s for dinner and were told it was going to be a 45-minute wait, but got VIP treatment and were seated in minutes. We ignored the evil stink eyes of all the customers who had gotten there much earlier, followed our host pass the bar where we thought we were sitting and were seated at a table for four. Okay, so they probably alerted the wrong buzzer. We’re still VIP! 😉 It was nice being away. Pammie is most likely moving back to the OC for a better job, and I’m definitely ready for change…

I wasn’t looking forward to Christmas this year. Most of my relatives went out of town, taking with them the traditional family party I’ve attended for nearly twenty-five years… but it actually ended up being okay. I got $30 worth of Starbucks cards from work (even a gift card from one of the few customers I love helping with her seemingly endless number of transactions)… and even though I suffered a mild stroke when I heard that Starbucks discontinued its Valencia syrup (I used to put eight pumps of it in my Passion Tea Lemonade), I still appreciate the gifts. The white elephant gift I got from our office Christmas party ended up being this twenty questions game that took me back to a happier summer last year (and a Target gift card… who wouldn’t use that?). Pammie got me something from my wish list (that will remain up for my birthday, people!) and I’m so excited to use my new headphones at the gym (and in my car since my radio is still broken). Chel made me this lovely painting and Shi got me a DIY book (SO me!). You can all thank Shi when I give you handmade soap for your birthdays. I hope you all had as good of a Christmas as I did and thanks to everyone who called or sent me a text even though I haven’t been around much. See you next year…

I got a surprising amount of orders this past week from sororities, so I spent my Sunday in front of the tube making buttons. I wasn’t really paying attention. It was mostly just background noise as I worked. By the time I was finished filling orders, I realized that I watched “The Wedding Planner,” “The Wedding Singer” and “My Best Friend’s Wedding.” I also just finished reading this fictional wedding-themed book on Saturday called “Something Borrowed” (so fucking awesome that I read it in one day) and started reading its sequel, “Something Blue.” I saw the first book at Borders and snagged it because I liked the cover. Anyway, this whole weekend has been an ugly reminder that I am straight spinster status. I always spend Thanksgiving with my mom’s sisters and my cousins who are all around my age, but this year a lot of my cousins weren’t there because they were spending Thanksgiving with their husband’s slash baby’s daddy’s side of the family… and my cousins who WERE there were there with their significant others… even my younger cousins. So sad.

I got my pre-sale on today and bought tickets to Incubus for me and Pammie. I get to spend my birthday with one of my favorite bands, my favorite sister and 2,600 other people… and maybe you, too, if you’d like to celebrate a quarter of a century with me. Soma is arguably the worst venue I’ve ever been to, but I haven’t been this excited since my bangs grew back. I wasn’t even old enough to drink beer the last time I saw them… Now I’ll be old enough to accompany minors! I finally have something worth looking forward to. If someone ruins my birthday, I will ruin their life! 🙂

On our way to see Lupe Fiasco, we stopped by the new Chick-Fil-A on Sports Arena Boulevard… It’s been months since I’ve been out with anybody and even longer since I’ve had Chick-Fil-A. There’s also a Phil’s BBQ being built on the same street. MADNESS! SD City Beat came out with its annual “Best of San Diego” list and Phil’s was voted “Best BBQ” for the millionth time. I want to try the rest of the winning restaurants. Who wants to come with? Anyway, Lupe Fiasco was disappointing. Midnight rolled around and there was still no sign of him. Jay took a nap on the couch as we listened to almost three hours of opening acts. It was Street Scene all over again, except he actually showed up this time… His set didn’t even last a full hour. Wackness. At least he played the three songs I wanted to hear (“You My,” “Daydream” and “Kick, Push”). Common was two hours late the first time we saw him, but he was well worth the wait. Lupe put on a good show, but it was entirely too short and not worth waiting three hours for. I skipped out on 94.9’s anniversary bash with OK Go at 4th & B for this… I could’ve gone to that first AND eaten Chick-Fil-A AND walked from downtown to Mission Beach and I still would’ve made it to Canes before Lupe Fiasco did.

So I only have three and a quarter door handles on my car now. I must’ve been crazy excited that I was finally going home after hours of art history lecture, because I opened my driver side door in the SDSU parking garage and more than half of the door handle snapped off in my hand. Seriously WTF. One of my windows no longer functions… I can’t see through the old, bubbling tint on my rear windshield… I shattered my sideview mirror when I hit the side of my garage… I’ve been driving in silence since last November when my stereo decided to stop working… My air conditioner blows air that is somehow warmer than the air outside… Our pets’ heads are falling off… Could anything else go wrong? Someone please steal my car already. It’s the white Camry with mismatched hubcaps and gray, unpainted replacement bumper from that time I accidentally hit a dog. I’ll make it easy for you by unintentionally leaving my car keys in the door (again). I shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

I made my usual trip to the post office today to buy stamps so I could mail out buttons. I normally go to the post office by the bank, but was halfway home from work by the time I remembered to go. I went to the one by my house instead where they don’t know that I always buy a crazy amount of oddly priced stamps… The mail clerk was like, “Sixty 52¢ stamps! Are you getting married, hun?” OK what. Thanks for reminding me that I’m nearly twenty-five without a boyfriend to marry. Sad times.

So today sucked. I usually look forward to Wednesdays… It used to be because I’d get crazy drunk with my friends at JT’s Pub and still manage to get up for work the next morning.. but now it’s because it’s my day off from the bank, I only have a couple of classes, and most importantly… Four back-to-back episodes of “Without a Trace” followed by a repeat of “Las Vegas.” Oh, how the mighty have fallen. After school, I went to Mission Valley to take a pilates class and accidentally locked my keys in my car. This is something I WOULD do, but surprisingly, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve done it… and each of those times I luckily had my window cracked open and friends around with small arms. I was by myself this time and I didn’t want to call any of my friends with small arms because I’ve been MIA for months and I’m not one of those people who only call when they need something. I had a minor lapse of judgement and considered calling my dad since he has the only spare key to my car, but thought about the endless lecturing that would result from this favor and decided against it… When I finally decided to call Pammie, I realized that I left my cell phone at home. I was 0 for 2. The girls at 24 Hour let me use their phone, but Pammie was still in the OC working… So ultimately, I had to cough up $35 for some tow truck guy the concierge called to break into my car. He used what looked like one of those blood pressure measurer things to pump some space in the crack of my door. Then he stuck some hanger apparatus that I could’ve fashioned myself in the small open crack to unlock my door. I should keep a hanger and blood pressure kit in my car for times like these… but I guess it wouldn’t really help me if it was locked in my trunk, now would it? You should keep it in YOUR car so you can help me the next time it inevitably happens. I missed my class waiting for the tow guy in the parking structure, since I didn’t have my cell phone with me… Otherwise I would’ve been getting my pilates on during the 45 minutes it took him to get there. Today wasn’t entirely sucky, though… I came home to the sweetest E-mail from an old friend. Thanks, Errol ♥

It’s after midnight and I got off of work five hours ago, but right now I’m sitting alone in my house eating cold Taco Bell in my work uniform still. WTF mate. Clearly, there is seriously something wrong with this picture. These past few weeks have been shitty for me.. Actually, this whole summer has been pretty shitty. There are just so many changes in my life, not one of them good except for me going to SDSU now instead of bullshit community college (and even that has been disappointing). SDSU (so far) has been community college with a lot more walking and a more expensive parking permit (that I’ve somehow managed to misplace within the first two weeks of school). None of my classes or professors are the least bit interesting. I felt all excited at first. I was thinking that I could show the graduates of Monte Vista High that they, too, can transfer to a state school within six years of high school graduation. I feel so fucking old, because I don’t know any students who go to State, but I know FACULTY members (hey, ERROL!). Sad times. It’s okay, though. I’m sticking with it… Pammie, Chel and Shi are all planning to purchase their first homes by next year, and I need to catch up! There’s also the change in my love life (or lack thereof). For those of you who have been living underneath a rock, Edgar and I broke up like half a year ago. I felt like we weren’t moving forward. We were just at that point where you either part ways or get married… and we definitely weren’t going to do the latter. For some reason (it might be those seven years we were together), our breakup still feels fresh. I seriously thought I was fine, but some days I hear a song and I just lose it.. Then I think about how I’m listening to this song on my iPod with one ear phone while I’m driving because my radio broke ten months ago and Edgar was supposed to fix it and then that makes me even more sad. It’s just sad to think about our history, but it’s not like I want us to be back together. It’s just weird to picture him with someone other than me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it. It’s worse that he’s friends with all of my friends, so that totally disrupts my social life. I feel like I can’t be with my friends sometimes because he’s there with whomever he’s talking to at the time and it’s uncomfortable. I am now a firm believer that you should keep your significant other and your friends separate. I’m all about the clean break. It’s been six months and the break couldn’t have been any dirtier. I think I’m okay with being single… I mean it DOES have its moments (and by moments I mean moments of unbridled loneliness and depression), but it’s not like I didn’t go out all summer. I was at Landlord’s practically every Friday and JT’s every Wednesday and living it up with my best girl, Trace… but not once did I see anyone I was remotely interested in. JT’s has gotten too crazy for me, anyway. Mindz Alike’s newfound popularity among the fresh twenty-one crowd brought along annoying groupies and made JT’s encompass just about everything I despise about clubbing downtown on the weekends. I was quite content when it was just some little dive bar our small group of friends would go to on Wednesdays to spin while trying to stay warm near the outdoor patio heater last year. Those were the days! I stay away from the dollar drama now. I don’t expect to meet the love of my life in a bar, but it’d be nice to meet SOMEONE new. Sometimes a hot guy will come to my bank and after handling their transaction, I check their customer profile and they turn out to be married or years younger than me or Mormon or constantly overdrawn (LOSER!). I wouldn’t want to date anyone whose transaction history I have access to anyway (Hey, who did you take to Benihana’s?!? Oh, wait… That was the day you took me. Never mind… See how psychotic that would make me? SO uncool!).

So this past month I’ve been MIA. I’m sorry I haven’t been returning anyone’s phone calls (well, apologies to everyone except Jay because I never returned his phone calls in the first place. HAHA♥), but I just need some time to myself to take charge of my life. Lately the same old shit has got me saying, “I’m too old for this shit.” Maybe I really am.

I keep baking cookies. They never turn out right. I never eat them. I’m not domestic at all. I give them to my friends and they eat them even though the cookies always somehow come out too salty, disfigured or full of bubbles (thanks, boys). I feel this constant need to please people and I think that’s why I’ve been on this cookie-baking binge. I like making people happy. I got this new job around Christmas, so I bought all of my friends gifts knowing that I’d only be getting one gift because we did the secret santa thing this year. I am STILL broke from Christmas, but I know my friends really loved their gifts and that’s what I think about when I’m starving on my lunch break LOL. For my birthday next week, I want nothing more than to have a good time with my loved ones. I have work this whole week, so I won’t be able to fully celebrate till the weekend. I want to have as much fun as I did on new year’s eve sans the painful vomiting.

I feel like I don’t have anything post-worthy to say anymore. It’s always the same shit, different day. I see my friends everyday… I feel like it’s summer still. I’m sure one day I’ll get sick of them (or vice versa), but right now I’m happy to see them everyday. Most of them, anyway 😉 It’s hard to keep this thing updated when I do the same thing everyday (smoke hookah, play poker, watch Mindz Alike DJ, watch the boys skate, eat Chick-fil-a) with the same people (CHIP SET!) who make up 98.2% of mayanrocks.com’s viewers. These people already know what I did, because I did it yesterday and the day before that (and the day before that) and I did it with THEM. But what about that other 1.8%? They don’t know what I’ve been doing or who I’ve been doing it with… so this one’s for you, 1.8%. I’m sorry I kept you in the dark.

Today I played my first real cash game with the set. My friends have been playing poker together for years now while I’ve been on the other side of the garage smoking hookah. Sometimes I got tired of smoking and I would go inside and hibernate. I’d be awakened by a “YOU FUCKER!” coming from the garage at four in the morning indicating my sister just lost a hand and it was time to go home LOL. Slowly, the people who used to only hookah with me started playing poker on the other side of the garage. More recently, Raul started playing and so it was just the girls (sans Pammie) who didn’t play. So yesterday, I asked Skokie to teach me how to play with them forreal. I mean, I know all the hands, I just don’t know how to play them. He taught me how to FOLD (apparantly, it’s not illegal) and how to watch out for the assholes among other things… I have a REALLY bad poker face (I got you some flowers…), and I have a tendency to think out loud (Queen Jack!), but I think I did him proud today 🙂 But anyway, besides poker, we’ve had a ton of birthdays these past couple of months. Julz, Jay, Gerald, Rome… Saturday is Raul’s birthday and Vince’s is next week… We pretty much celebrate by doing the same shit we do every other day, but we usually just add alcohol and maybe a couple of people who don’t hang out with us everyday (and sometimes fifty southsiders that none of us know). My life is pretty monotonous and uninteresting, but I’m easily amused so I’m enjoying every bit of it right now.

I had the BEST day today, but I’ll wait till I get back to SD to post everything that happened. I wish I could stay in NYC a little longer! I’ll be home soon, but here are some new photos to tide you over till then. I uploaded some pictures that were taken one of the days we went to the beach before I left for vacation (Trace is going to KILL me!) and some pictures from DC and NYC, too. I still have a couple days left here, so I’ll be sure to post more pictures when I get home…

I miss home. I’m in Washington DC right now and it’s humid as the f*ck! I tend to appreciate SD a lot more when I go out of town. There really isn’t a better place to live. I can’t wait to go to New York on Saturday, though. DBJ! I miss you guys. I’ll be home in a week…

This is the first time in weeks that I’ve been home before three in the morning. I haven’t been feeling like myself lately… Or maybe I’ve changed and this is just how I am now. I find myself not giving a shit about things I used to care about and getting hurt over things that shouldn’t even matter to me. I’ve been having this constant feeling of uncertainty. Something has shifted… I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay.

During one of our philosophical conversations, Errol said that people try to make their lives seem much more interesting in their blogs. My life is VERY uninteresting… but I’m easily amused. Corneal abrasions… Sandwiches… If that’s not interesting, I don’t know what is! Maybe I should spice things up a bit. What if I told you that I recently discovered that me and one of my best girls, Trace, are SISTERS! Okay, not really. But we’re cousins! Okay… so we’re not BLOOD cousins. Her sister’s godmother is my mom’s sister! And Trace’s Dad is my cousin’s godfather! My aunt has known Trace’s mom since back in the day when my mom and her sisters went to Sweetwater High and Trace’s mom went to Mount Miguel! She’s basically FAMILY if you look at it from a FILIPINO perspective 🙂 I always sensed that we were relatives haha. Anyway, a few things going on this week… I start summer school tonight (BOO!). Going to the COMMON show tomorrow night at the new House of Blues in San Diego (finally!). Celebrating Skokie’s birthday on Thursday (if he deems me cool enough to party with him!). Then Edgar moves into his new house in Otay Ranch this weekend. I should have a lot of pictures posted throughout the week (taken with my grad gift from Pammie!). I have to go to school now. Bah. See you later tonight for some fakhfakhina, biatches.

There’s this palm reader place that I always pass by on the freeway. A lot of people are skeptical about its validity, but I figure… if this place has been open my entire life (23+ years), then they must be doing something right. Jay says that they’re probably still open because they serve sandwiches, too. My gullible ass totally believed him. Man… I would go there on that basis alone. Trace told me that her grandma got her palm read and they told her that she would die in a body of water… but her grandma went on a cruise recently and is still alive as far as I know. I think the palm readers are pretty vague in their readings, so you can pretty much twist whatever they say and apply it to the situations in your life… I would still like to get my palm read for fun. Who wants to come with???

Anyway, tomorrow (or TODAY, technically) is my graduation. I’m finally getting my associate’s degree from Grossmont. Yaye. My mom (being the Filipino mother that she is) is making me walk. I think it’s partly because my parents aren’t sure if I’m ever getting my bachelor’s degree and this might be the last time they’re gonna see their baby graduate. Haha. I don’t expect anyone to sit in the hot sun and listen to boring speeches and listen for my name out of 1,100 different graduates… so no one has to go to the actual ceremony. At 5:30 p.m. At Grossmont College off the 125 freeway. Haha. But seriously it’s not a big deal. I only EXPECT family to come to the ceremony. I’m having dinner afterwards with my family (and whoever decides to show up for the ceremony and a free meal paid for by my parents haha) and then it’s ON at Julian’s house! I plan to get my drank on, biatches. I reeeally like it when I’m buzzed. I don’t know why I stopped drinking before I turned 21. I guess it’s because it was less fun when it became legal. I’ve been missing out. Life seems a little bit easier when your intoxicated… I didn’t want to make a big deal out of me getting my associate’s degree, so this mini get together I’m having at Julz’s is last minute. It’s on a WEDNESDAY, so I’m assuming people have work the next day. Don’t feel bad if I didn’t officially invite you. If you know me, then consider yourself invited. Don’t expect food or anything to be there. LOL. All I know for sure is that there will be Jell-O shots and hookah and brownies and Chambord and vodka and poker and spoons and me with a big smile on my face.

I broke a mirror at work on Monday. This is day six of my seven-year curse, and let me just say that I totally believe that I’m cursed right now. So many random bad things have been happening to me this week… and today I spent my morning in “urgent” care and waited over two hours for someone to tell me that I *don’t* have pink eye like you all thought I did (you b*tches can stop touching me with your elbows now haha). As if I wasn’t uncomfortable enough, the doctor scanned my eye with an ultraviolet light (which always strikes a nerve in the most bizarre part of my body) and it turns out I scratched my cornea and that’s why my eyeball has been extremely irritated these past couple of days… and while the doctor has told me that it’s 75% healed and should mildly sting for the next day or so, to me the pain is something more akin to sticking my face into a crate of exploding dynamite. I was prescribed no antibiotics… no painkillers. I was basically told to walk it off. Oh, and not only do I have to deal with the constant throbbing in my eye without so much as a vicodin to ease my pain, I have to wear a crazy ass eyepatch that covers half of my face for the next twenty four hours. It’s not a cool pirate patch, either. It’s this gigantic gauze pad adhered to my face with what seems to be fifty strips of tape. I came out of the doctor’s office hoping to make a beeline to my car, but Pammie busted up laughing as soon as she saw me. Everyone looked up to see what her crazy ass what laughing at. So much for my quiet exit! I wanted to go out tonight, but it looks like I’ll be staying indoors. That’s for DAMN sure.

This rant was written by a nice girl named Jessica Griffith who finally snapped:

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he’ll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” to “time heals all wounds.” This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it’s an experience that they don’t want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they’d rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn’t care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one’s for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won’t because it’s easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he’s just not ready, he’s just not over her, he’s just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it’s easier to believe that it’s not that they don’t want you, it’s that they don’t want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he’s with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he’d realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don’t understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don’t appreciate them and don’t want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call… and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the “stalker chick” you’d met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this “nice girl” who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you’re not looking for a nice girl. You’re not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you’re looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don’t say you’re on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won’t answer your catcalls, sometimes you’re looking at a nice girl in whore’s clothing — we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we’re all thinking the same thing: “This isn’t me. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I’ll have slept alone and I’ll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me.” You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don’t want the nice girl.. so don’t say you’re looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend — but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets… the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she’s a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won’t matter), hoping against hope that maybe you’ll realize that they’re the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won’t last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we’re waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what’s a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

I had the BEST time at D&B’s on Thursday. The set went there for Charlene’s 21st birthday. I don’t think I’ve ever had fun at D&B’s before that. I never looked forward to going (especially on FILIPINO Thursdays)… I should’ve known that a little alcohol could fix that. $7, one Zombie and one Chambord later, I was on a GOOD one. I’m such a cheap date. I’ve NEVER had such a good alcoholic experience. It’s usually fun for a while, then the fun quickly ends with me yakking or hungover… but none of that ish happened this time. Edgar was SOOO mad at me! I drove Trace there, so I was supposed to be able to drive both of us home. I only had two drinks in the span of three hours, so I figured that I would be okay, but that Zombie f*cking killed me… and then Errol bought me a Chambord Sour that I couldn’t pass up… when it hits your lips… YUM. I could barely keep my eyes open. I somehow managed to score a ridiculously high score in skee ball, though! I kept hitting the 50 shot… then I hit the *100* shot… which is like IMPOSSIBLE even when you’re sober. Having Edgar yell at me for being the most irresponsible designated driver ever didn’t even kill my buzz. After much debating that I was OK to drive, Julz ended up driving my car back to Ed’s where we all smoked some candy sheesh (my new favorite) and sobered up with some Mexican food (thanks, ROSS!). Tonight is Errol’s graduation party. He makes me feel terribly old and behind, but I can’t say enough how proud I am of him. Thank goodness he lives up the street from me. This designated driver shit is overrated.

Pictures from our weekend in San Juan Capistrano and Scott’s party have been posted (thanks, Jay, Julz and Edgar!). Yesterday, Jay took me out for breakfast at Hash House in Hillcrest. YUM! That was the most INCREDIBLE breakfast ever. When we got there, he was like… Reservation for Jay. LOL. I’ve never eaten at a place that someone made reservations for me at. These two girls were eating near us and one of their boyfriend’s came in and surprised them with flowers. What the… I almost cried. I’m such a nerd. It was so sweet. These ladies who were waiting to be seated clapped when he was leaving haha. We stopped to check out shoes at Mint and Best Buy for Jay’s weekly visit before he had to go to work. Afterwards, I picked up my SOUL sister, Trace, and went to Grossmont hospital to apply for a job. We went across the street to the mall to stalk Skokie, but he had already gone home from work. Afterwards, we ate at Chipotople and had the BEST girl talk! Lately, I’ve been surrounded by testosterone, so it’s refreshing to vent with a girl. Guys just aren’t built to endure that kind of bitching! Later that night, the set came over to Edgar’s to chill and we beatboxed LOL. I only had one line, but I owned that shit. Haha. Good times!

I’m in a FLAN comatose right now. Too much flan is too much Mayan… Is was so f*cking good, though! Meehchelle’s grandma was trying to kill me with that shit haha. I didn’t know that flan is basically milk and eggs (my tummy’s WORST enemies ever!) I felt like I was going to die this morning. Anyway, I had a pretty chill weekend. On Friday, I went to the movies after work with Edgar, Pammie, Meehchelle, Julz and Skokie. “Kicking and Screaming” was f*cking HILARIOUS. I’m a tornado of anger! Ahahahaha. We smoked some sheesh at Edgar’s afterwards before heading home. Yesterday was Kalana’s birthday party. My sister and I elliptical’d our butts off at the gym earlier in the day and knocked the f*ck out after we showered. We didn’t get to Meehchelle’s parents house until late, so we missed the astrojump! Damn. There was plenty of food left, though… FLAN… ahhh. I got to see GERALD, who I haven’t seen in weeks (only in my dreams… ahahaha), but he leaves today again for some place I can never remember the name of. I miss him and his Axe deodorant. I’m gonna go through Axe withdrawals when he leaves for Iraq for six months. Too bad Edgar is one of those freakishly unsweaty people who doesn’t need deodorant. I told him that he should wear it anyway just to humor me. Scent drives me wild 😉 ANYWAY. Most of Meehchelle’s family had left, and we had our standard poker and hookah session. Meehchelle, Trace and I drank Chambord Sours, but it wasn’t enough for me to get faded (or even buzzed). I haven’t gotten fucked up in a loooong time. I feel like such a square haha. I plan on getting eff’d up in VEGAS this July. Is everyone down to go? I think Edgar is renting out the PENTHOUSE timeshare. Woot! It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself to lose my inhibitions and have a good time without thinking about shit too much. I’m looking forward to it…

Lauryn Hill – “Tell Him”
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/tellhim.mp3]

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love, then I am nothing at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love, then I have no happiness
I know I’m imperfect and not without sin
But now that I’m older all childish things end
and tell him…

I haven’t heard this song since high school, but I remembered every single word when I listened to it recently… It’s weird the way my mind retains potentially useless information, but I can’t remember what I did two days ago or how to get to a place I’ve been to ten thousand times. This weekend was different from weekends past… I barely saw any of my friends and I actually worked the ENTIRE weekend… plus I work tomorrow and Tuesday, also. Five days in a row? It feels like Christmas. I haven’t had a decent paycheck in a while, so I’m not complaining. It feels good to be busy, anyway. On Friday, I kept trying to get a hold of Genevieve so she could cover my shift because I felt nauseous again. No cigar, though. I actually ended up having a pretty good time at work tending to all the Mother’s Day procrastinators… I’ve never seen so many boys shopping for candles. Afterwards, I met up with Edgar, Errol, Julz, Pammie, Vince and Trace to go bowling. I think the earth’s axis shifted or something, because I bowled a MOTHERF*CKING 168! I couldn’t believe it… well, no one could believe it really. I usually score something closer to 60! I had them print my score sheet, because it was probably the first and only time I’d score that well… Sooo many people from the set weren’t there that night. You b*tches missed a milestone. I went home afterwards, while some of the others went to Alex’s to play poker. I never play poker with the set. I usually just have philosophical conversations with Errol or smoke sheesh with Trace and Julz… I feel more comfortable doing that at Edgar’s or Errol’s. On Saturday, I woke up early to go to work and chilled with my cousins in Scripps Ranch afterwards. Today, I went to work and met up with my family afterwards for dinner. We ate at Panda Palace. I ate take out from there last week while watching Fever Pitch by myself, and it just depresses me to eat it now. Sad. Tomorrow I have work at seven in the motherf*cking morning… in La Jolla… so I need to be up in five hours and drive an hour in traffic. F*cking zombie status. Maybe I’ll stop at Coffee Tea Bean & Leaf for some much needed caffeine (I know it’s Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf… Pammie says it the other way, though. Ahahahahahahaha). I don’t even like coffee, but I need something to wake me up at that ungodly hour. Plus I have class after work and I plan on hitting the gym after school, so I need some liquid energy to make it through the day. I’ve been spending so many nights smoking the hookah and sitting on my ass and drinking ten million liters of Coke… I need to treat my body better if I want it to help me pick up sexy motherf*ckers. Haha. Just kidding, Edgar. I’ll just be happier and more fun to be around if I get in shape. I know you’re thinking… Is it POSSIBLE for Mayan to be more fun than she is now? I’m not gonna lie to you. I’ve been holding back. The amount of fun I’m gonna be is illegal in some small countries. You should start preparing yourselves now while I get ready for bed… before midnight! I usually don’t sleep till two or three or FIVE in the morning, but this is the new Mayan. Let the fun begin.

Whenever I’d be out eating with my friends, I’d always feel sorry for those people who were eating at a booth by themselves. I’d come up with hypothetical situations in my head that would cause them to eat alone. Do they not have any friends? Are they on their lunch break from work? Are they single? Did their girlfriend just break up with them? I never used to eat by myself. It just made me feel really lonely. The only time I ate alone was when I was on my lunch break at work, and sometimes not even then… I kind of like the ME time now, but I think that too much time alone gives me too much time to think. I spent most of today by myself. I drove around. I picked up some Chinese take out. I went to the movies and watched Fever Pitch by myself… which made me feel even more lonely because it was a romantic comedy and it was just me and another couple in the theatre. I’ve never watched a movie alone before. I feel crazy laughing with no one around me. I found myself laughing and turning to look at no one to confirm the hilarity of something Jimmy Fallon said during the funny parts. People can’t ALWAYS be with me… Life just doesn’t allow it. I wish I was more independent like Meech or Pammie. Maybe I wouldn’t mind the solitude so much.

I was preheating the oven when my smoke alarm started beeping a couple minutes ago. I looked in the oven and there was a little sausage on fire that fell off the frozen pizza I baked last night. LOL. I was going to reach my bare arm in there to take it out, but I remembered the great oven rack burn of 1998 and thought twice about it. So I put one of those arm-length oven mitts on for protection. It’s really difficult to use tongs when you’re wearing an oven mitt, so it took me a while to get that little b*tch out! And that has been my day so far… and my sister wonders what the hell I do at home by myself haha. Sometimes I blast my iPod and rock out in my panties. Sometimes I take hot showers and fall asleep afterwards (sometimes?). Sometimes I call Edgar and bug him at work. And sometimes I talk to myself. It’s a good thing I’m easily amused. I feel like I should do something productive like go to the gym, but I don’t think my body could handle that kind of strenuous activity right now haha. I think I’ll just take a long, hot shower and take a nap before my night class. Call me if anything’s going on tonight, b*tches!

I had a SUPER weekend with my SUPER crew, CHIPSET. We spent the weekend in San Juan Capistrano (down by the beach, BOY-EEE!). I would say that it was as fun as our weekend in Big Bear, but I missed a CRUCIAL five hours of fun while Pammie and I stepped out for a family shindig. Skokie waited for me for ten billion hours on Friday while the procrastinator that I am packed my things. I still forgot my shampoo, conditioner, shoes… Me? Forget something? That’s strange… We finally got to San Juan around midnight and stayed up smoking raspberry sheesh and shooting the shit till the a.m. hours on the balcony of our hotel room. I tried to keep it down because everytime I laughed, Edgar would walk up to the sliding door from the inside and just point at me. I’m a loud f*ck! I can’t help it… Meehchelle and I were the only ones up after 4 a.m. and we just whispered to each other on the sofa bed with the collective symphony of snoring in the room as our background music. We kept laughing over things like “beef and steak” and sometimes I’d be laughing so hard that I would involuntarily slap the mattress with my hand or snort when I tried to contain my laughter which would just make us laugh even harder. Out of no where, we’d hear Mayannnnn — Edgar telling me to keep it down again. As soon as Meehchelle and I tried to sleep, Edgar’s parents started frying things on the stove and filling coolers with ice to prepare for their roadtrip to San Francisco at 5:30 in the motherf*cking morning. I contemplated pointing my finger at them and giving them the look through the sliding door, but I didn’t think it would work. There was no way I could sleep through that… All the while, the sun starts coming up and it’s not night time anymore so I just realize that sleep isn’t coming and stare at the ceiling listening to the snoring and the frying and the ice shoveling… Most everyone woke up around 6:30 because of the hoopla and turning-on-of-the-lights that happened when Edgar’s parents left the hotel room. I tried watching Amelie with Meehchelle and Skokie, but started dozing off halfway through it. Everyone else started going back to sleep since it was too early to be up at that ungodly hour on a Saturday (except for Trace and Ed who never woke up in the first place). We all got up again around eleven and headed to Dana Point. It was straight up OC in that biatch. I half expected to see LC and Lo sunbathing in their designer bikinis. Traceface and the boys bodyboarded and skimboarded and some people got bruised buttocks in the process haha. Meehchelle and Rome got their tan on while I spent half the time in the frigid water and the other half playing in the sand. We went back to the hotel mid afternoon to eat and chill while I got ready to go to a family party back home with my sister. Gerald brought the largest bottle of Grey Goose I had ever seen in my life to the hotel. They were already drinking it in the afternoon and the chaos ensued after Pammie and I left that night. Before we left San Diego to drive back up there, I called Edgar to see what was going on. Apparantly, Trace (the girl who can hold her liquor like a 300-pound man) had yakked on her pillow and towel and JULIAN. Gerald drank most of the vodka and was — say it with me, Meehchelle — INEBRIATED as the f*ck (thank you, DARWIN, for making me despise that word like I despise strawberry ice cream). When Pammie and I got back to the hotel, Trace was passed out in the bedroom and Gerald was passed out in the balcony, periodically waking up to yak in the cooler of all places. He ended up taking a two-hour shower, while the rest of the boys and Pammie played poker. I tried watching Oceans 12, but kept falling asleep again. That sofabed is death. People had the munchies at three in the morning, so Pammie and Jay went on a Del Taco run, since that was the only restaurant open (what is UP with this town?). I had a reeeally good sleep that night, so it made up for the lack of sleep on Friday. When I woke up on Sunday, Rome, Julian and Jay had gone back home to SD and the rest of us got our things together to go home, too. We chilled at Errol’s for a bit, played with the cute babies, and I went home to take a superhot and relaxing shower and nap of course (I really need a robe, guys). Later that night, Pammie, Edgar, Errol and I went to Del Mar for the Jason Mraz show and met up with Kristine. Pammie got hit on and didn’t even know it. We met up with Jay and Julian afterwards to eat at Tyler’s and then went to Sycuan to feed our gambling addiction. I’m home now and looking forward to Edgar’s party this weekend. Fun times as always with the CHIPSET (you know how we do!).

Last night was an avencha as Mark would say. Pammie, Meehchelle and I decided to try out Amarin Thai, this restaurant that Kelly from work recommended. The three of us should not be allowed to drive alone together! Meehchelle has horrible night vision since her prescription expired during the Clinton regime LOL. She missed the exit, turned around and was thisclose to missing the same exit again… She couldn’t read the street names or the big sign that said DIP haha. I am a TERRIBLE navigator. I told Meehchelle to exit and it was the wrong street. We tried to turn around and ended up at a dead end… So we went back the other way and ended up in North Park… you DO NOT want to be driving through residential North Park in the middle of the night without your gat strapped! I decided that it was a good time to relinquish my navigating duties and gave the directions to Pammie… who just handed them back to me because she can’t read in the car without getting nauseous! Somehow, we finally reached Amarin Thai half an hour before it closed and without any puncture wounds. It was SO worth it. You would think with all our trips to Hillcrest for good eats, we would have gotten there without a hitch, but with my poor navigating skills and Meehchelle’s inability to see at night and Pammie’s refusal to see words while in motion… I guess it just wasn’t in the stars. After dinner, we chilled at The Living Room and went to Errol’s for the standard hookah and poker night. Tonight, we’re going bowling and I think we’re gonna hit up gravity hill so I can see what all the hoo-ha is about (thanks for the invite earlier this week, biatches! haha). For those of you who don’t know about gravity hill in SD, it’s this place in Sorrento Valley. If you park on the left side of the bottom of the hill and put your car in neutral, your car will move backwards UP the hill on its own. There’s this myth that says that there were once train tracks that ran through that road and these children were run over there. It’s been said that the children are pushing your car up the hill so you won’t get run over. I’ve heard that if you put baby powder on the front of your car, you can see the children’s handprints after your car moves up the hill. Jesus of the Christ. I’ve got goose pimples just blogging about it. I’m gonna go now.

Je veux apprendre comment parler Français. Je naviguerai avec vous si vous m’enseignez comme Bianca et Cameron dans Dix Choses Je Déteste Au Sujet De Vous. Traduisez ceci.

I’m annoyed by girls who wear Coach signature shoes to match their Coach signature purse (and their Coach signature belt and fedora… and sometimes… when it’s raining… their Coach signature umbrella). I’m a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, while my boyfriend owns a Lacoste polo shirt in every conceivable color. My friends are shoe heads who spend hundreds of dollars on limited edition Nikes, while I’ve worn the same pair of Vans for more than a year (and before that, a pair of Converse shoes that I retired after two years because water would seep through the holes and soak my socks when it rained). Now that I’ve tried to convince you that I’m anti fashion, let me negate all that by exposing my guilty obsession with Gucci sunglasses. I ♥ them! I’m so ashamed. I’ve had the same pair of Guccis for four years. I still wear them even though my prescription changed two years ago. I’ve been looking for another pair to replace them, and I’ve found the perfect ones. I’ve spent hours staring at them online to feed my obsession… and now I’ve just seen Kanye West rocking them. I must have them!

It’s raining. Again. Luckily, I don’t have work or school this week, so I can stay off the roads as much as possible. I have to put air in my tires later today so I’m reading instructions because this is something I’ve never done before! I was going to have Edgar do it, but he has work… Maybe I’ll have Jay do it later 😉 I’ll probably give myself flat tires if I attempt to do it on my own. Anyway, I’m home from Texas. That was the longest weekend of my entire life. We drove 24 hours straight to and from Texas (well I didn’t drive, of course). We saw Roxy for like.. two seconds. She got married, had the reception at her husband’s house, then left the reception to consummate her marriage before I could even have cake! LOL. Oh, man. Let me tell you about TEXAS. It is the wackest state I have ever step foot in! The groomsmen asked us if we wanted to go clubbing with them (I use the term lightly). We were like, F*CK YEAH! The night was still young. We decided to skip South Padre Island where all the spring breakers were partying, because it would have taken us two hours to get there. We hit up a local club called GRAHAM Central Station… WTF. It had a $6 cover charge and six different rooms. There was karaoke, 70s, salsa, country, hip hop and some other one I can’t remember. We stayed in the hip hop room and the DJ rotated the SAME four tracks! There were people in COWBOY HATS dancing to hip hop. Most of the people couldn’t dance. There was this girl that had to be at least 250 pounds wearing this bathing suit with strategic cut outs dancing with her rolls flapping about… and no one thought this was disturbing but us. The only thing good about the club were the $2 test tube shots… which I couldn’t drink because I was the DD for the night. I hope you had a good time, b*tches! Haha. I definitely needed some alcohol to enjoy myself at this place… Texas is also full of Whataburger fast food joints, so we decided to try it. Shi placed her order first for cheese fries. Then the rest of us placed orders after her for entire meals. We all got our food before her and I even ate my whole meal by the time she got her food. She asked them where her food was, and they brought it to her table. They gave her a box of fries and a SLICE OF CHEESE in a wrapper. OH HELL NO. We couldn’t stop laughing over that shit. I guess cheese fries has a different meaning over there. As if this trip couldn’t get any worse, Edgar got a speeding ticket on the way home for doing 80 in a 70. The cop had his lights turned off and was facing the opposite directing of traffic and right when we passed his covert ass, he turned his lights on and turned around and followed us. I don’t know about New Mexican laws, but you have to at least have your parking lights on and be visible to passing cars if you’re a cop in California. He was like… You have two options. You can plead guilty and mail in $80 for your ticket, or contest it in court. Like Edgar’s gonna drive TWELVE hours to New Mexico to contest an $80 ticket! Then, to add more salt to the wound, Edgar’s friends called him up and said that they partied with C.S. Keys at Harrah’s for his FOX sports show and got drunk with him in the limo he picked them up in… all while Edgar was having a horrible weekend and just got a speeding ticket… Then they told Edgar that C.S. Keys invited them to do it again on April 2nd… and he can’t go again because he RSVP’d to go to a paid-dinner family party with me at the Double Tree Hotel. He must REALLY hate being my boyfriend right now LOL.

I was watching Unwrapped and they said that gelatin is made of the collagen in cow or pig bones, hooves, and connective tissues… *THROWS UP* Gelatin is in Jell-O, cream cheese, cake frosting, marshmallows and my candy of choice… GUMMYBEARS. I don’t know if I can eat them now. I’m repulsed beyond belief.

Anyway, Chicago was LOVELY. I’ve never been so effin cold in my life! I miss the snow. I miss my seester. I miss eating at White Castle (don’t be jealous, b*tches!). I don’t miss the airplane rides, though (or O’hare airport!). I f*cking hate riding on airplanes. I’m not good at sitting still for long periods of time… especially in cramped spaces… where my hair sticks to the walls from all the static… and the stewardesses spend 99% of their time in first class (where Josh Kalis – a pro skateboarder – was sitting and eating a McFlurry! Damn, you’re FLY!). I don’t know how my sister does it. Flying to different cities and working all the time and living out of a suitcase. I’m immobile as f*ck. I would make a horrible military wife, because I would hate to move around… find a new job… adjust to the weather… San Diego has ruined me. Pammie is so damn SUCCESSFUL! Flying me to see her in Chicago. Buying me anything I want. I’m so jealous! I’m terribly poor and STILL in college and STILL living off of my parents. I need to get to PAMMIE status, so I can get out of Stone Point and start the next phase in my life. I really need to get my shit together. Pammie’s looking into buying a house here in San Diego while I’m wondering whether or not I have 75¢ to buy me a mall employee-discounted drink at Cinnabon during my break at work. Wow, that’s just sad. Anyway, all I’m hoping for is that I get accepted into CSU Fullerton this fall… since that’s the ONLY university I applied to. If I don’t get in, I’m toast! My father is DEATH when it comes to my studies.

…I don’t want to talk about school anymore. I wanted to blog about my Chicago trip and instead I’ve talked about cow hooves and discounted soda. I had a blast! It was the weekend before St. Patrick’s Day and there’s a HUGE Irish population there. Everyone gathered downtown to DYE THE RIVER GREEN. Is that madness, or what? There were two parades and everyone was sporting green. We shopped on Michigan Avenue, visited the Michael Jordan statue at United Center, went to an expo at Navy Pier, ate a Chicago hot dog (but no deepdish pizza… too hardcore!), went to Wicker Park and saw Kurt Halsey’s beautiful art in person, ate White Castle like Harold and Kumar, freezed our asses off and when we got tired, we went back to the hotel and watched Law and Order: SVU. LOL. Just like home. I’m going to Texas in a couple days for Rox’s wedding. After this weekend, it’ll be nice to be on spring break back home in San Diego for a while… March has been a crazy ass month for me.

So last night we all gathered at Errol’s house (sans Pammie and Meehchelle) to watch the Big Bear video. OMG. Effin HILARIOUS! The camera was on at times we weren’t aware, so we were caught doing some pretty funny shit! WOP! Hahahahaha. How gay was it to be filmed while we posed for like 50 timed camera shots? Too bad the camera wasn’t on when Meehchelle, Julz and Pammie slipped and fell on their butts! It’s so painful to watch yourself on TV. The camera adds like ten pounds, too (how many cameras were on me?). I kept thinking… Is that what I look like? Anyway, we’re trying to get Rome to hook us all up with DVDs of the VHS tape… Someone told me this could be done 😉 I f*cking ♥ technology. Right now I’m loving life (most parts, anyway). Looking forward to my weekend in CHICAGO with Pammie! My mom just came home right now and gave me some thermal underwear for the trip. X-LARGE MEN’S thermal underwear. For the love of God! She said it was the smallest size they had… and it was on clearance. Ah, who cares. I’ll wear baggy thermal underwear under my clothes as long as I get to do it in CHICAGO!

Best weekend EVER! I had SO much fun in Big Bear with Pammie, Edgar, Gerald, Meehchelle, Vince, Tracee, Julian, Errol, Jay and Brian. We met up at Edgar’s house around three in the morning and got to Big Bear around 6 a.m. I almost threw up from all the curvy roads driving up the mountain (you weren’t kidding, Chel!). I was seriously dry heaving in the Starbucks bathroom. We stopped on the side of the road to take pictures of the beautiful snow and people were injured! LOL LOL LOL. Meehchelle was the first one to slip and fall on her butt… Julian slipped on the ice, scraped his arm, and slid halfway under the van… Pammie was so distracted laughing at Julian that she lost her balance and slipped also. Haha. We were a little early for the slopes so we stopped by our cabin to check it out. “Our Place” was so cute with it’s little bobsled course on the side of it. We went to Bear Mountain afterwards… just up the street from our cabin! It took Pammie and Meehchelle ten years to get their rentals, so Edgar, Jay and I waited for them while the rest of the set hit up the slopes. Errol, Julian, Brian and Vince turned into pro-snowboarders in the hour it took us to get everything settled. WTF? This was my third time snowboarding, and I still sucked hardest core. Meehchelle and I have accepted the fact that we are uncoordinated and anti anything that requires physical skill. Haha. Gerald did his best to instruct us, but I almost took him down the mountain with my ungraceful ass. All the while, Pammie and Tracee and the boys were zooming past us like effin pros! Meehchelle and I are scared of breaking our legs and dying, so I think our fear keeps us from being able to snowboard. That and our lack of balance. We decided that we were over boarding and headed down the slope to chill with Jay (who refused to snowboard because he almost cracked his sternum in half the last time we went!). We ate some $10 Disneyland meals and took some much needed naps in the lodge. Everyone gathered around mid-afternoon to go back to the cabin. It was snowing really hard at this point and the toasty cabin was so comforting. We all took showers (some of ours were ICE COLD…. Thanks, JULIAN!) and chilled for the rest of the night. Jay made us spaghetti and we made s’mores in the fireplace. Pammie bought like ten thousand Hershey bars from the market down the street LOL. It was like we were at home. We rocked the Magic Mic, smoked hookah, played poker and drank. I fell asleep on the couch during Julian’s rendition of some Time Life Soul song and woke up at 11 p.m. thinking that it was four in the morning. We were all so tired from not sleeping the night before and being out in the snow all day. Everyone decided to go to sleep, so Gerald and Ed slept downstairs while the rest of us went upstairs to get ready for bed. I wasn’t sleepy since I had just woken up from my nap, so I went downstairs to make some hot chocolate. Brian, Julian and Errol were in the kitchen wide awake, too. I could hear Pammie, Jay and Meehchelle laughing their asses off upstairs. I guess we weren’t going to sleep after all. I went upstairs and had some hilarious times that will remain unmentioned! Errol and Julian went in our room because we were loud as f*ck. Julian kept saying, “Let’s go sledding!” Crazy ass! It was like 30 degrees out and pitch black. We found a birthday card from 1999 in one of the books in the room and were freaked out. We also saw this blank VHS tape downstairs and were afraid to see what was on it. Pammie, Meehchelle and I were convinced that our cabin was haunted. We tried to go to bed after that, but we heard some scary shit in the walls and I was like, “Meehchelle, is that you?” and she was like, “NO! What the hell was that?” and so we opened the light (LOL Meehchelle) and left it on for the rest of the night. I woke up at six in the mother effin morning to Meehchelle saying, “Mayan, isn’t that your phone?” because the alarm on my cell phone was going off downstairs. Dammit! I couldn’t go back to sleep and my alarm had woken up only Gerald LOL. We made breakfast while everyone slowly started waking up. Julian and Edgar snowboarded off some sweet jumps outside while Meehchelle and Vince built an Asian snowman. The rest of us got our stuff together and cleaned the house. Before we left, we took solo pictures with a big, black cock (literally) and group shots in front of the cabin and with the snowman. I miss that place already! On our way home, we stopped at Ontario Mills for lunch at Market Broiler and some crazy impulse shopping. All together, I think we bought like eight pairs of shoes and some other random shit! Damn, ballers (AKA broke asses after this weekend!). Meehchelle, Pammie and I rode with Gerald on the way home and played my favorite game… Would you rather…? Like… Would you rather be with someone who you’re in love with, but isn’t in love with you or with someone who’s in love with you, but you don’t love? That’s how it started… Then the questions took an unexpected turn into Filthy McNastyville! LOL. I know more about my friends than I ever wanted to after this weekend! Haha. I ♥ my friends to death. Meehchelle said that she’s going to write the Book of Mayan filled with random quotes by me. I admit that I say some pretty stupid things! I can be so dense at times. All my friends have accepted it. I think I’ve been spending too much time with Meehchelle because she was pulling Mayans all weekend! She needs to represent WTF with me and Trace! I’ll post pictures up from this weekend soon, so look out for that big, black cock in photos to come!

I’ve decided to name my new fish “Jelly” because of my obsession with Garden State. I considered naming him “Walter” because he looks like an old man with his crazy underbite, but I think that “Jelly” suits him. I think he’s really warming up to me. When I first got him, he was all hiding in the rocks and wouldn’t eat his Betta Bites until I left the kitchen (where he lives). Now whenever I go near him, he violently shakes his tiny fins until I feed his crazy ass. I guess he’s my fish. My dad’s scared to get attached to him since G-Funk bit the dust out of no where haha. So this weekend I’ll be in Big Bear SNOWBOARDING with the set! FUN TIMES! I can’t wait. Then next weekend I’m flying to CHICAGO to visit Pammie while she’s working there. I am SO scared of flying. I just keep thinking that I’m going to die in a horrible plane crash. That’s all. I don’t know how my sister flies back and forth every weekend. I would die. I’m excited because it might be snowing AND Mr. Kurt Halsey himself just so happens to be having an exhibit at Wag Artworks in Wicker Park in CHICAGO! So I get to see his beautiful paintings in person. I will probably cry from all the beauty. The weekend after that I’m taking a (LONG ASS) road trip to Texas with my girls and Edgar for Roxy’s wedding. The weekend after that I’ll be in Temecula for Roxy’s California reception. The weekend after that is Rhea’s debut that Chelface has been working so hard on. The weekend after that I’ll stop saying “the weekend after that.” Because there’s nothing going on the weekend after that.

Last weekend, I picked Pammie up from the airport and it took us TWO HOURS to get home… from the SAN DIEGO airport (which is like twenty minutes away from my house). It all started when my gas light went on. I drove to the gas station down the street from my house and saw that I had $2 in my pocket. That’s not even enough for ONE gallon of regular unleaded gas in San Diego… My sister offered to fill up my tank with her corporate credit card, so we had to find another gas station since Arco only takes debit cards. I drove down the street to another gas station. There were cars parked next to the pumps, so I assumed that the gas station was open (I mean, what gas station CLOSES?). I took off my gas cap and tried to take the nozzle off the pump holder when I noticed a padlock attached to it. I looked around and noticed that there were cars at the pumps but no one actually pumping gas into them. I asked myself, “Do I need to ask them for a key or something?” Some things sound good in my head and then I say it out loud and they don’t sound so good anymore. I drove off and took the loooong way to Rancho SD to get gas at Mobil. That’s when I noticed that I drove off without putting my gas cap back on at the other gas station. After getting gas, I drove back to the other gas station to see if my gas cap was still there. It wasn’t. I left it on the trunk of my car, so it really could have fallen off anywhere. I kept saying, “I can’t believe I did that!” but really… I could believe it. I’m such a geek. I always do shit like that! So I go back to Mobil because my sister worked there back in the day and said that people always left their gas caps so they always had extra caps at the station. She told me to tell them that I got gas there earlier that day (which I did), and left my gas cap there (which I didn’t) so that they would give me a gas cap. I’m a horrible liar. HORRIBLE. I’m convinced that the gas attendant knew I was lying. He offered me no gas caps. Now I have to BUY a gas cap at Autozone or something. I’m SUCH an idiot.

It’s four o’clock in the morning and I’m taking an extended break from cramming for my history midterm. I’ve been drinking hot tea all night trying to stay awake, but I’m convinced that drinking an excessive amount of Coke over the years has made me immune to the stimulating effects of caffeine. My mom drinks coffee at three in the morning and still manages to fall asleep directly afterwards. Maybe it’s hereditary. I feel like I’m getting sick… which is very likely, because I always get sick before I’m about to do something fun. And in the cold. Like go snowboarding with my friends in Big Bear. I keep sneezing and my left eye is all itchy and watery. My dad was sick and my sister was sick and Gerald and Meehchelle are sick. It was bound to happen. I may be immune to stimulants, but I ALWAYS get sick whenever someone within a five-mile radius of me is sick. Plus it’s been raining like crazy in San Diego. The reservoir down the street from my house is overflowing. I remember when it didn’t rain for like a year or two straight and you couldn’t even see the reservoir because it had dried up. I usually ♥ the rain, but this is madness. I drive like 40MPH on the freeway in the rain. People are zooming past me at like 70MPH and I just keep my hands on ten and two and shake my head at their senselessness. After spinning out on the freeway in the pouring rain, I’ve been skerd to drive during even the slightest inclination of dampness. I’m a terrible California driver whose great fear is dying in a horrific car accident. Anyway, I had a bad day today. I think I’m just letting my monetary problems get to me. My second job only gives me part-time shifts on the weekends. My school schedule during the week makes it impossible for my other job to give me enough hours in between my classes. I have three bills a month that are automatically debited from my checking account, so it’s not like I could SKIP a payment, even if I wanted to. My boyfriend doesn’t get enough hours at his job either, so we’re seriously the most poverty-stricken couple EVER. When it’s REALLY bad, we combine our money just so we could take out a twenty at the ATM! Gah. It’s like I’m a struggling artist already. Except I’m not even working as an artist yet. I’m just STRUGGLING. I refuse to ask my parents to help me, because my dad got me out of the hole during the great credit card fiasco of 2000 when I max’d out four credit cards and owed over $2,000. I had just turned eighteen and went a little crazy. I see how happy my parents are about my sister being this über successful auditor travelling around the country, and I would hate to disappoint them again. Pammie knows about my situation and said she would help me out, but I hate borrowing money from her and proving my dad right. There are far less things I hate more than my dad being right about me.

It’s been a while since I last posted. I just haven’t had anything exciting happen these past couple of weeks. This past weekend just flew by. On Friday, I had a SUPER day at work. I picked up my sister from the airport at three in the mother effin morning! Gah. I drove up to the OC with Edgar, Pammie and my mom on Saturday. My sister had some things to pick up at her work and my mom wanted to shop at Southcoast and Edgar wanted to come along for the ride haha. We went bowling with the set that night and everyone was doing hella good except for me with my 70. I’m usually a MACHINE! That’s what Mike Le says anyway. Too bad the usuals couldn’t come (Gerald and Meehchelle are both sick 🙁 Jay and Mike were in Vegas). We just hung out at Errol’s afterwards. On Sunday, Pammie flew back to Chicago, and I had two dinners! One with my family and another with Sheryll and Joey’s families for Sheryll’s birthday. The bill at Emerald was over $400. CHRIST. That’s like My Super Sweet 16 worthy. Speaking of which, those teenagers make me ILL. I get so mad watching that show, but I can’t stop watching it. LOL. It’s an addiction! Like Laguna Beach! I’m so embarassed. Two of the five episodes they’ve aired of My Super Sweet 16 focused on girls from La Jolla, CA. I work in freakin’ La Jolla. I’m just waiting for one of those biatches to walk into my store. I really can’t stand little rich girls like that (and there are SOOOO many in La Jolla). La Jolla in San Diego is equivalent to Beverly Hills in LA. Or Laguna Beach in the OC. That’s why I was surprised when they filmed The Real World, San Diego, in Point freakin’ Loma instead of La Jolla. It smells like fish over there. Awww, speaking of fish… G-Funk died (R.I.P!) so I bought another betta for my dad since he was so upset about it. I spent about fifteen minutes at Petco trying to find the right one. I don’t know what we’re gonna name him. My mom calls him G-Funk #2. Maybe we’ll just call him #2 for short. Or just #. Like Prince.

I want a Kurt Halsey archival giclee for Valentine’s Day. Or for any day actually. President’s Day is also coming up. If you bought me an original painting, I would name my first-born after you. Kurt Halsey is such a beautiful artist. *SIGH* Right now I’m drinking tea that I brewed from my mom’s coffee maker. It kinda tastes like coffee. BLEH. I keep forgetting how bad it tastes and drinking it. I should really stick a post-it note to my monitor so I’ll remember not to drink it. That’s pretty sad, huh? I’ve really got to do some memory exercises or something. I’m that waitress at Denny’s who forgets to bring you the flippin’ ranch dressing you’ve asked me for a billion times. Anyway, I might be taking a class at Mesa College this semester, too. Southwestern, Grossmont AND Mesa? I’m all over this godforsaken city. South, east, north… I should work in the west to balance it all out. I have this design class at Southwestern in the morning that I have to wake up butt-early at 6am for and I’m soooo not a morning person. Skokie asked me what happened to the barista who used to wake up at five in the morning to work at Starbucks. I think I left her ass there when I quit last month (along with my gray hoodie. Drat!). It’ll be much easier to take the night class at Mesa on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Oh well, I have till this Friday to decide since Mesa just started this week and I can still drop that Southwestern course without receiving a W (as if I need another one of those on my transcript the semester before I plan on transferring). I wanted to enroll in Paul Berger’s art history class, but there’s no way I can do that and still have enough availability to get more than eight flippin’ hours a week at work. There was this Hallmark commercial I saw last night that showed this woman walking into this grumpy old man’s office. She’s in her thirties and she says that she used to be a student of his but he doesn’t recognize her. She gives him a Hallmark card that says something along the lines of him planting a seed and not knowing how they turn out and then on the inside it says something like he has planted many seeds and they are all growing even if he doesn’t see them (I know that’s a horrible recap, sorry!). Anyway, he says this phrase and it’s the title of the paper this woman wrote when she was in his class. He remembers her. She turns to leave and he asked her what she’s done with her life… Become a banker..? An internet guru? And she turns around and tells him that she became a TEACHER. Cue the waterworks. Story of my life! I should sue Hallmark for copyright infringement.

Looking for a job is a job in and of itself. This will be my THIRD job in the past six months! Gah. Red Envelope has ruined me. I ♥ my Illuminations girls, but I hate the 30-minute commute back and forth, the traffic, the scarce distribution of hours, and the $87 paycheck I just received for two weeks. I made more than $87 in ONE DAY working at Red Envelope. I want to get a job at the bank, but my crazy school schedule won’t really permit it since most banks aren’t open in the evening or Sundays. Hopefully Meehchelle can hook me up with a teacher’s assistant job at Sylvan in Bonita or La Mesa. Or maybe The Living Room will hire me, since they’re open till two in the morning every day. Errol said he’d visit me in between classes at SDSU if I worked there. Hehe. I’m sure I’d be seeing a lot of Meehchelle, too 😉 Anyway, I hope I get this whole work situation settled within the next month. If you know someplace nearby that’s hiring and you think I wouldn’t mind working there, please give me a call. Hopefully, my cell phone won’t be disconnected by the time you read this.

Spring semester started at Southwestern today. It’s kinda weird to be back there during a regular semester, but I think I’m really going to enjoy it. My classes aren’t too difficult (FUN, even) and my teachers have all been approved at ratemyprofessor.com haha. I’m most excited about taking ceramics with PAUL BERGER 🙂 I had him for design class over the summer last year and I swear he changed my life. He is just this amazing teacher and person, and I left the class feeling INSPIRED. I decided that I might want to get my teaching credentials after my B.A. so that I can teach art. I want to be somebody’s Paul Berger. I want my life to have purpose and I want to inspire others, and I think I’ll be able to do that through art. I don’t even NEED this ceramics class, but I’m attending two three-hour sessions a week because he really is the most amazing teacher I’ve ever had. I hadn’t been back to Southwestern since the summer I took his art class, and I got all nostalgic being in the same classroom today. It smelled the same. One of the projects we did was still tacked to the wall. The same dingy, unclaimed sweater still hung on top of the ceiling beams. It was kind of sad, really. I took that design class with Pammie and Edgar, and I miss going to school with them. I was always really happy in Paul’s class, and I suppose I’m trying to capture the same feeling by taking another one of his classes. It felt really good seeing him today, and I’m very excited about the class, so I guess it’s working. His class is my last one in the afternoon, so I got in my car afterwards and turned on the radio and FRANZ FERDINAND was playing! That was me and Pammie’s theme song that summer. Paul always played 94.9 while we worked, and Pammie and I would get so amp’d when they played Franz’s “Take Me Out!” I think it was a sign 🙂 Anyway, I called Skokie to see if he was at home down the street and wanted some afternoon delight (AKA Yokozuna’s!) and he was at work, so I just went home and ate there. I had a few hours to kill before my night class, so I went to the gym to firm up my wobbly bits. Then I went back to Southwestern for my night class and got out early. I called up Edgar, but he and Jay were going to the gym, so I headed over to Grossmont to refresh Skokie with the Jamba Juice he kept asking me to bring him, and chilled for a bit. We had dinner at BJ’s Brewery (there goes all that cardio I did earlier!) where I was attacked by an avocado appetizer (because I don’t know how to eat without making a mess and using 10,000 napkins). I ordered the french dip (damn, I’m predictable!), but only ate half of it because I really wasn’t hungry. I was there more for the company than the food. I only got three hours of sleep the night before, so Skokie told me I should go home and sleep because I’m still sick and all… but I ended up going to Jay’s to hang out with the boys and give Edgar my leftovers. I went home around one in the morning, but now it’s 4:00 a.m. and I have to take Jay to his doctor’s appointment at 10:30 a.m. for his bum knee. I should probably go to bed now. I’ve really got to get into the habit of having a semi-normal sleeping pattern now that school has started.

So I got into an accident today. My first accident EVER (with another car at least). I’m surprised I didn’t get into one sooner with my horrible driving skills. I was driving around the lot at UTC looking for a parking space. I see this family walk to their car near the top of the aisle, so I post it on the side waiting for them to move out of their parking spot. I pick some lint off my pants, change the song on my ipod, drum my fingers on the steering wheel… all the while thinking WTF is this biatch doing??? I’m gonna be flippin’ late for work! I was sitting there FOREVER. There was this parked van blocking my view of the car I expected to pull out, so I moved up to see if they punk’d me and just went to their car to drop their things off and weren’t really leaving. But sure enough, as soon as I move forward and throw up my arms to give them the universal sign for “what the f*ck?” I see their reverse lights go on. So I back up no more than one foot and then BAM. I hit a Mercedes F*CKING Benz! I was off to the side of the aisle so that cars could still pass through the aisle while I waited an eternity for the parked car to pull out, so I scuffed the front right corner of the Mercedes with the back left corner of my car. I got out of the car thinking UNF*CKINGBELIEVABLE and I see my white paint on her car, but no dents… There was this huge black scratch on it and when she saw the look on my face she said that the scratch was already there. I started touching the paint scuffs with my fingers and the paint started rubbing off. She said “I could probably get it buffed out” but who knows what she’s gonna do. She drives a freakin Mercedes and wrote my insurance information down on a Pottery Barn card. Why couldn’t I have hit some janky ass car whose driver had no license and insurance? Haha. Damn you, UTC! *shakes fist* To make me even more upset, the lady who took a jillion years to back out her car so I could take her spot had the audacity to get out of her car and rudely tell me to MOVE MY CAR so she could get her car out. UGH! I was so frustrated, so the tears started flowing when I finally parked my car. I walked to my store crying on the phone to Edgar when I passed my boss. She stopped to make sure I was okay to work. She probably thought someone died or something LOL. Who the hell gets worked up over a freakin fender bender? Mayan does! My deductible is $500 dude. I have enough money problems as is. Of course my WONDERFUL weekend would be offset by this. Oh, well. It could’ve been worse, right? I seem to be saying that a lot lately.

I’m sick =( Please kill me. I’m drinking massive amounts of hot tea in hopes that my voice will come back and my nose will stop running and my head will stop throbbing. Maybe if I just imagine I’m weightless in the middle of the ocean surrounded by tiny little seahorses I’ll feel better. I always get sick right before I’m about to do something FUN… Of course I got sick just days before my BIRTHDAY PARTY! Gah. It didn’t stop me from having an effin good time, though! I had the BEST time. Everyone that I wanted to be there actually came and celebrated with me and Meehchelle. I didn’t think we had enough food, but there was like TEN TIMES more alcohol! The boys brought the poker table, hookah and PARTY BUDDY (some strange contraption that holds bottles of alcohol upside down and dispenses shots with a twist of the twisty handle), we had THREE bottles of Chambord (my favorite!), beer, and a BUTTLOAD of hard liquor. My friends are pretty hardcore when it comes to drinking. I had the worst headache, though. Evidently, you shouldn’t mix alcohol with cold medicine and you should never drink alcoholic beverages mixed by ROSSANNE. Haha. Everyone left around five in the morning when Meehchelle put an end to Edgar’s drunken madness on the turntables LOL. Thankfully, Edgar spared us our vision this time and didn’t end up streaking, but he was PISS DRUNK! His eyes were bloodshot and his skin was lobster red. You know he’s drunk when he starts talking nonstop about back in the day this and that… Jose was like, “He’s gonna start crying soon!” He passed out after everyone left, but I stayed up till 8:30 in the morning because I was so wired. Pammie bought me a polaroid camera and tons of film for my birthday (thanks, SEESTER!), so I have a million instant photos from our party. My friends sharpied quotes on them, so they’re extra special. I’ll post them on here when I get the chance, but I might leave out a couple INDECENT shots (SHEEN!). Today, we all had lunch at Bronx Pizza in Hillcrest and checked out the little shops before heading back to Meehchelle’s and watching Napoleon Dynamite for the millionth time haha. I’m kinda hungry, so I’m gonna make myself a dang quesa-dilluh! GOSH!

Meehchelle and I are throwing ourselves a birthday extravaganza! She’s turning 25 and I’m turning 23. Come celebrate our oldness! It’s gonna be at Meehchelle’s house on Saturday, January 15, around 6:30 p.m. If you would like to help us out by bringing something (i.e. food, alcohol, a stripper named Shawn in a fire fighter costume) then please let us know. It would be GREATLY appreciated! Meehchelle sent an evite out, but we don’t know everyone’s e-mail address, so if you didn’t get an evite than give us a call and we’ll give you more details.

Happy new year! Last weekend was pretty nice. I welcomed the new year with the boys and bonded with one of their girlfriends. It’s really great when someone just GETS YOU because she’s going through the same shit (thanks for the talk, Tiffany!). Roxy and Chel came over on Sunday to make wedding favors for Roxy’s big day. I’m so happy for her. She’s just GLOWING. Chel’s getting married next year… What’s this? What’s happening? What’s going on here? Everyone I know is either getting married or reproducing. I guess I’m just in that “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” funk… even though I’ve never been a bridesmaid. Well, I’m supposed to be one of Roxy’s bridesmaids, but her wedding is in her fiancé’s hometown of Podunk, Texas and a roundtrip plane ticket for the weekend is definitely out of this poor college student’s budget. Even attempting to SAVE money from my mediocre Illuminations paychecks would be difficult. Roxy is one of my BEST girls. She’s family. That would really suck if I couldn’t be a part of her wedding. Sadness. OMG today I went to the post office and the postal clerk told me I was “so pretty” (and it wasn’t some creepy old man, it was this sweet, middle-aged lady). She said it like four times during our transaction. Nobody ever calls me pretty! LOL. I couldn’t stop smiling in the car. Anyway, BEDHEAD ED comes home from P.I. tomorrow! Yaye! I can’t believe he was gone for an entire month. I’m so happy right now. I’m thinking of buying my dad a betta because he got really attached to G Funk (Edgar’s fish – who used to be Gerald’s fish… who used to be named Geraldine because we thought he was a she – who I took care of while Edgar was gone and need to eventually return). My dad talks to that fish. It’s weird to hear the word “G Funk” come out of my dad’s mouth. He’s been nice to me this year. This love/hate relationship with my dad is all very confusing. As for G Funk, I stopped liking him weeks ago. He tried to bite me. So I stopped feeding the bastard. My dad feeds him though. He says that he feeds G Funk when he looks hungry. My mom thought he was dead the other day, but he was sleeping. She was banging her palm on the glass seeing if he’d move. She wasn’t aware that fish sleep. Oh well, I wasn’t aware that fish had facial expressions. We are two peas in a pod. Except when it comes to cleaning. She LIVES to clean. Today, she took out the Swiffer Jet and said, “This is my new best friend!” My room is never tidy… and if it is, then it just LOOKS tidy. Cleaning my room to me is just stuffing my crap in my closet. That’s all I’m really going for. A facade of cleanliness.

Today I went up to Snow Valley to go snowboarding with Sheenie, Chris, Arlene and Gerald for Arlene’s birthday. It’s been pouring these past few days, so we expected a lot of fresh powder. I was excited because it was nothing but manmade snow when I went boarding last year. Sheenie drove me to her house in Moreno Valley in the pouring rain at 90 mph (Safety? What’s that all about?). She is one crazy biatch! Chris, Arlene and G met us at Sheenie’s and we all rode together from there. Five gas stations, Starbucks, WalMart and two attempts at attaching chains to our tires later, we arrived at Snow Valley. There was snow EVERYWHERE and I felt like I was in a snow globe. It was so beautiful. I wish Edgar was there to see it. It started raining… Then it started snowing… Then it started HAILING mini ice balls of death! Those b*tches hurt! It didn’t stop hailing the entire time we were up there. We got there close to one in the afternoon and the resort closed at four. We only had a couple hours to snowboard and we found out that they closed everything but the bunny lifts because of the strong winds and hail. We didn’t think it was worth paying $50 to ride the bunny lifts for a couple hours. Plus I still had to rent boots and a board since Edgar’s boots were too big for me, but just small enough for Sheenie’s sasquatch ass. LOL. My feet were soaked through because I was wearing my slip on vans while everyone else had boots on. We had a snowball fight instead. Afterwards, we stopped in Moreno Valley to eat at Olive Garden and go to Sheenie’s before heading home around five in the afternoon. Chris, Arlene and G went home soon after we got to Sheenie’s house, but I fell asleep on her couch and Sheenie fell asleep in her room. We left around nine o’clock and stopped at JT’s bar in San Diego to see Brad before going home. Even though nothing went as planned today and we weren’t able to go snowboarding, we all had SO much fun. I can’t wait till Edgar comes home (one more week!) so we can attempt to go snowboarding again.

I’m convinced my father spends hours on end thinking of different reasons to yell at me. If it’s not one thing, it’s another… It’s like he’s looking for ways to bring me down. The day that I no longer live under the same roof as him should be a national fucking holiday. I know this is the billionth time I’m venting about my dad on this thing. I should probably take the $9 a month I pay for my website to be hosted and put that towards seeing a therapist to reverse the years of damage my dad has surely caused in my life… I don’t really know anyone who has an ideal relationship with their father. Why should I be any different?

Anyway, I went upstairs to change into my pajamas and saw a package on my bed. I didn’t recognize the return address, but decided to risk anthrax poisoning and homemade mail bombs (could this day really get any worse?) and open it. It was a purple iPod skin! I checked the invoice and saw that Edgar ordered it online and had it delivered to my house. Awwww. Even from 7,000 miles away he can make me smile…

I haven’t blogged in a while, but not much has changed since my last post. I’ve been working like crazy trying to keep busy while I have no class and no Edgar. Christmas is finally over, and I had a pretty good time with my family this year. All of my crazy ass relatives and Chipset came over on Christmas. The boys got ROLLED by my cousin, Randy! Sorry, he’s a poolhall junkie AND a poker hustler =/ $230 is a shitload to win at a HOME game, boys… Good thing I didn’t try to get in on that. I’m dead money! Anyway, I got some damn good gifts! Jed gave me a $50 gift card that I can use to buy the Gilmore Girls Complete Season Two DVD (yeah, baby!). Jay gave me the Rooney DVD and an FM transmitter for the iPod my sister gave me. The other gifts were mostly monetary with the occasional Victoria’s Secret or Bath & Body Works gift set here and there (I ♥ girly stuff like that)… but the BEST gift was Chel’s lacquered mosaic tile creation of our original watermelon pose (complete with her sweatband and my fiesta print shirt with matching shorts). I ♥ handmade gifts! I ♥ store bought gifts, too, so keep that in mind when my birthday comes along in a couple weeks 😉 I’m pretty sure that Meehchelle and I are gonna have a joint birthday extravaganza. It isn’t set in stone or anything, but when was the last time we had a PARTY for our birthdays? We didn’t even go to Vegas or anything this year (okay, Meehchelle is going to Vegas for New Year’s, but I’m not!). We can probably have a little something at her house, since she has her own place and her neighbors aren’t nazis and her street isn’t redzoned (damn my neighborhood!). Just leave the night of the 15th open in case this extravanganza happens. If not, we can at least go to DINNER or something to celebrate our oldness. Haha… so Edgar comes home in ten days (segue isn’t really my thing). He called me on Christmas, and I hadn’t talked to him since he left a few weeks ago and I wasn’t expecting him to call me at all while he was away, so I was pretty shocked to hear his voice on the phone. I even cried. I was just really happy to hear from him. We talked about how I saw him in the audience on MTB on TFC (I’ve got it on tape for anyone who wants a peep at his fobulousness!) and how all my relatives kept asking me why he wasn’t at my house and then after a couple minutes, he got cut off because his prepaid card ran out. I talk to him online when he’s in Manila and he texts me every day otherwise, so it’s not like the other times where he would be gone for a month and I wouldn’t get a phone call or a smoke signal or even a fruit basket. He said he sent me a postcard, but it’ll probably get here after he comes home from the Philippines haha. Ahh, I miss that buttface.

I actually got to SLEEP IN today 🙂 No waking up butt-early at five in the morning to make caramel macchiatos or to sit in traffic for an hour on the 805 on my way to slang candles in La Jolla. I actually WAKE UP at five in the morning for work sometimes. Skokie was like, “This is the NEW Marion!” Haha. Because you know I normally have trouble waking up before NOON. I have to set three alarms to get up, but still. Five in the morning… I mean, REALLY. Who is UP at that ungodly hour? I still fall asleep in the AM hours when I have work at six in the morning, though. I just need a couple doppio espressos to get me through my shift… Anyway, Edgar’s in the Philippines now, and I haven’t really felt it yet. This is the third time he has gone to P.I. since I’ve been with him, so I guess I’m used to it now. We’re nearing six years, so it’s not like we’re in that puppy stage where I’ll cry if I’m away from him for more than two seconds. I just find myself saying, “Oh, Edgar would have liked (insert random item here),” but I always say stuff like that when I’m not with him. Yesterday, I hung out with Jay and ate and went shopping. He bought Z-Trip’s live album (Jay, Edgar and I watched him at the Scratch Tour earlier this year) and we were listening to it in the car. It reminded me of Edgar. He loves hip hop music (the REAL kind). I’m more of an acoustic, rock, alternative girl myself, but am open to some good hip hop to get my booty shakin. A few days ago, Edgar, Pammie, Jay, and I went to Hollywood to see an acoustic benefit show at The Roxy… what an awesome, intimate venue. Rooney unexpectedly didn’t perform (boo!), and Jason Mraz wasn’t on till the end of the show, so we just walked around Sunset Boulevard. We mocked toys at Hustler and ate at the infamous Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles (who knew chicken and waffles would be such a yummy combo?). I fell in love with two new bands, The Like (an all-female, darker version of The Cardigans) and The Speechwriters (two Jason Mraz’s for the price of one band). Thanks for letting us crash at your pizzad fo shizzad, Pammie! Tonight, I’m going to Jay’s house for his annual my-parents-went-to-a-college-reunion-out-of-town-so-i’m throwing-a-party party. I baked some yummy brownies. They’re probably gonna play poker, but the last time I played, I lost all of Edgar’s money to LYNEEZY, so I think I’ll just stuff my face with Jerome’s ribs and Jay’s pork chops and chill instead. If you don’t have any plans tonight, you should come and eat and get your ass rolled 😉

OMG today I went to Sycuan BY MYSELF and lost $80 playing The Price Is Right. WTF? I’m effin crazy. First I lost $40 so I put in another $20 and won $150… Then I kept playing because money makes you greedy and lost it ALL… so I put in another $20 to try and win it back LOL. WTF was I thinking? I’m never going to the casino by myself again. Damn you, Bob Barker! *shakes fist* Friday morning, I’m going to the poker tournament there with all of Chipset (sans Pammie), but Edgar’s gonna hold my ATM card so I don’t lose my paycheck. I didn’t make all those mocha lattes for nothing! Shooot.

Today was my first real day at work. All I did was stock candles in a ridiculously tiny hallway the whole day. Surprisingly, I didn’t break anything or accidentally maim myself with the boxcutter. I really shouldn’t be allowed to use a boxcutter, but oh well. My hands are still all waxy and candle-y. My shift was cut in half because it was slow as molasses and they needed to save hours for next week’s huge shipment. It took me half an hour to get to work and forty five minutes to get home 🙁 I really don’t know what I was expecting with this job… Today was shipment day, so hopefully I won’t be on candle-stocking duty tomorrow and it’ll be fun and painless. I’ve decided to work at Illuminations AND Starbucks. I’m not even close to making enough money at Illuminations (plus the tiny hallway and the traffic and blehhh), so I’m gonna talk to the assistant manager at Starbucks tomorrow to see if he still needs me. There’s like TWENTY girls working at Illuminations, so maybe I can just work at Starbucks during the week and Illuminations on weekends. I just want to keep my discount 😉 Everyone’s getting scented candles for Christmas! I wanna save money to go to Italy during the summer and Texas in March to be a bridesmaid at Roxy’s wedding, so I’m gonna go cheap on the Christmas gifts this year… but they’ll be COOL, cheap Christmas gifts! 🙂

This past weekend, I went up to Riverside with Meehchelle and Gerald. We had a BLAST 🙂 Thanks, Meehchelle, for showing me around my future school! She took us to her favorite hangout when she was in college, The Getaway. They make a mean french dip there! I’m SOOO predicatable, huh, Meehchelle? We went to Sheenie’s new house in Mo-Val and I ♥ her purple-striped walls in her room! We gotta paint my room sometime this year! Gerald didn’t drink the whole time he was in Iraq, so he passed out after a few DIRTY shots (you would understand the dirtyness if you saw how he was drinking these shots haha). We were going to spend the night at my sister’s house in the OC, but ended up going home because Ernst & Young is a fascist company who makes their employees work twelve-hour days and weekends without overtime. Sorry, Pammie! Next time… It was my mom’s birthday this weekend, so we went to dinner on Saturday at Sycuan and I won a whopping $4.50! High roller over here. On Sunday, I had lunch with my relatives for my mom’s real birthday before heading over to UTC for orientation at Illuminations. Afterwards, I watched The Incredibles with Gerald and Edgar. It was so cute 🙂 Another great weekend with my family and friends.

There are SIXTY THREE Starbucks’ within a ten-mile radius of my house. I just need ONE of them to hire me. One. I’m SUPER qualified. I just want to be a damn barista. If you know someone who works at one of these 63 Starbucks’ then HOOK ME UP, dammit! 🙂 It’s perfect… I won’t make too much money, so I’ll still qualify for tuition assistance. I’m tired of living off of Edgar. Haha. It’s so weird, because whenever I’m employed, he’s unemployed and vice versa. We’re hardly ever working at the same time and that sucks because one of us has to pay for the other one, and we’re both goddamn heffers! It adds up! 🙁

I was sitting in my car at the drive-thru ATM this morning still halfway asleep when I realized that there was this scary man standing outside my window. He was talking inaudibly (partly because my radio was on and my window was rolled up, but mostly because I’m deaf as f*ck), so I turned down my radio to try and figure out what he was saying. He kept asking me for a dollar and all I could think was HELLO I’m in line at the ATM… If I had any cash on me, do you think that I would be here right now? All the while he was standing outside my window I was formulating a plan in my head thinking what I would do if he tried to attack me. Pshhh. I could take him down. I really watch too much “Law and Order.” He still was hanging around (probably plotting to kill me) when it was finally my turn at the ATM ten years later, so instead of stopping and taking money out like I had originally intended, I drove off like a little b*tch. Has “Law and Order” taught me nothing? My sister would be so disappointed.

Anyway, my friends, IRIS AND BOBET, got MARRIED over the weekend. The wedding was all the way up in Esco, but definitely worth it. It’s not everyday your friends get married (although it seems like EVERYONE is getting married and/or reproducing these days)… I guess we’re just around that age when people start settling down. Edgar and I kept getting asked when WE were getting married… Ahh, the proverbial question. My standard response is, “THAT’LL be the day!” Sometimes I’ll change it up a bit and say, “THAT’LL be the f*cking day!” for emphasis… or I just tell them that we aren’t getting married. Not that I know of, anyway. Why… Do you know something? Meehchelle got CRUNK haha (thanks for the e-card, dude! What are friends for, if not designated drivers?). I haven’t seen her that drunk since Vegas. At least she waited until we got into her car to pass out this time 😉 I had SO much fun. The food was good, the company was great and the DJs rocked hardest core! I don’t think I’ve ever danced so much in my life. Edgar, Rov, Jose, Meehchelle and I were the last ones on the dance floor. Everytime we were like, “Okay, let’s go home,” DJ Retro would spin another dope ass hip hop song from back in the day luring us to shake what our mamas gave us just a little longer. What a great wedding! 🙂

Before I go, I have to give props to JAY for doing some uhhh “handy work” at my house. LOL. Thanks, HOMIE!

There’s a lot of life changes going on for the people around me… My sister moved back out and officially started her CAREER at Ernst & Young in Irvine… My cousin, Desiree, married her high school sweetheart, Dom… Meech got her MASTERS degree… Bobet and Iris are getting married this weekend (side note: EXCELLENT bachelorette party, Iris! HOLY F*CK. Male strippers are effin crazy. Meech and I are going to have a joint birthday party in January and those strippers are SO there! Haha. Bring your dollar bills, b*tches!). Congratulations to all you guys… Not all change is good, though. My condolences go out to my cousin’s girlfriend, Analyn. I’m truly sorry about your dad. Life is full of uncertainty and few of us realize how brief life is until loved ones pass away unexpectedly. As for me, my life hasn’t changed at all… and though I used to complain about the monotony of it all, I’m happy where I am. Happy that my loved ones are safe and healthy. The other night, my house phone rang around one o’clock in the morning. Nobody calls someone’s parents house at one o’clock in the morning unless there’s something wrong (either that or it’s a drunken phone call… SHEENA!). Someone had already picked up the phone, but I picked it up anyway. I heard my mom telling my dad that something was wrong… She didn’t feel good… She was dizzy and couldn’t drive home from work. I asked her if she needed to go to the hospital and she said that she just needed to be driven home so she could sleep. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mom… I sat in the car with my dad for the forty minute drive up to my mom’s work in silence. That was the first car ride in a long time that I’ve had with my dad without him lecturing me about something or another. I guess we were both worried… Anyway, my mom is fine. My relationship with my father has become less deranged. My sister and I get along better now that we’re back to living in separate cities. LOL. Life is good.

I choose… INCUBUS.

01. Are you female or male: Southern Girl
02. Describe yourself: Stellar
03. How do some people feel about you: A Certain Shade Of Green
04. How do you feel about yourself: Just A Phase
05. Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Beware! Criminal
06. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: The Warmth
07. Describe where you want to be: Here In My Room
08. Describe where you live: Sick Sad Little World
09. Describe how you love: Deep Inside
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Make Yourself

I just came back home from a week vacation with my family in Canada. I had SUCH a good time! I was there for my great aunt’s wedding. I met a ton of relatives on my maternal grandmother’s side. My aunts on that side are just as CRAZY as my aunts on my mom’s side. People flew in from London, Denmark, all over the US and P.I. to see my great aunt get hitched. One of my aunts gave a speech at the wedding and closed it by saying that if the groom messes up, we’re going to send the mafia side of the family there haha. He should sleep with one eye open! It really sucks that my dad’s side of the family is all over the place. I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like to, but hopefully we’ll all keep in touch now that we’ve all become acquainted. There’s nothing like family, you know? Canada isn’t too far away from home (the US in general), but there are so many things that are different there. We passed by this huge carnival when we were driving on the freeway, and I asked my cousin if she had gone to it yet, and she was like, “Carnival?” Then I said, “Oh, the fair…?” and she was like, “Oh, you mean the ferry?” but she was talking about the ferry that takes you across Lake Ontario. So then I was like, “The umm… the thing with the rides and the ferris wheel?” and she was all, “OH! You mean the exhibition.” LOL. Plus my aunt had arranged for us to stay in what she called a “condo” so I was expecting a kitchen… bedrooms… you know, things you would find in a condo. We got there and were like, um hey, this is a HOTEL ROOM… with no kitchen and no bedrooms! I guess they call hotels condos over there or something. There are so many different words that mean different things there. The people here are also SUPER friendly (sans the bitchy mcbitch that managed the hotel we stayed at). The drivers are effin CRAZY over there, but no one ever honks and there aren’t any crosswalks in places so pedestrians just cross the street wherever and people stop their cars in the middle of the road to let them pass. In San Diego, you would get honking from multiple cars and a big F*CK YOU finger if you did that. It even poured rain while we were there, and I can’t even remember the last time it rained in San Diego. The scenery is so romantic in Canada. They have actual SEASONS. The trees are green in the summer, they change colors in the fall and it snows in the winter. In San Diego, you can take a random picture on any given day during the year, and you won’t be able to tell if it’s from winter, spring, summer or fall! I guess that can be both good and bad, but I would love to live in a place where the seasons change. San Diego will always be my home, but I want to venture out to a place that’s nothing like it. Just for a little while. I think it would be cool to live in Toronto for a while. Yesterday, this guy downtown was passing out loaded Starbucks giftcards for a free Tazo Passion Tea Lemonade (my FAVORITE drink there!) with a chance to win a free VESPA (which I’ve been eyeballing for a while!). Then I saw a billboard advertising the Art Institute of Toronto (where I could go to school!) and a Kinkos (where I could work since I’m a copymaking queen!). I would also become closer to my relatives who live in Toronto. Even though they had Avril Lavigne on rotation everywhere I went, I would still love to live there. I’m glad I got to experience something different, and I hope to come back there again.

If anyone tried to ruin your birthday, I would ruin their life 🙂 We’ll celebrate when you come home from Iraq!

I just came home from a SURPRISE show that Jason Mraz had in San Diego. It was effin AWESOME! Thanks, JAY, for taking me 🙂 Jason lives in San Diego now (Ocean Beach), and he was like, “Where’s the afterparty? We should have a bonfire at the beach!” HELL YEAH. Too bad that didn’t really happen. My sister, Jay, our new friends (Erin, Angela, Claire, Deanna and Alejandra) and I were right in FRONT of the stage. It was at the Belly Up in Solana Beach, so it was 21 and up and really intimate. Tristan Prettyman opened up for him and she was so awesome. She lives down the street from the Belly Up! Bushwalla also opened and that guy is F*CKING CRAZY. Haha. His band was cool, too. Jason Mraz’s music is so inspiring. He has like a million songs, but only one official CD. The songs on his CD don’t do him any justice. He’s SO talented. He’s also really charming. For “The Remedy,” he did this karaoke thing where three fans got to sing the song on stage and our new friend, CLAIRE, was chosen! This girl flew twenty seven hours from Australia to be here! That’s so hardcore. Our other friend, Deanna, drove here from Vegas! Jason is really worth seeing live, so make sure you see him when he comes to your town 🙂

Oh, man. Where to begin? Huge mess with my server (die, PINCHPENNY.ORG, die!). I don’t know when my sites will be up again, but I’ll continue to blog so there’s not TOO big of a gap between posts (like there isn’t one already). The end of August is fast approaching and I am STILL in San Diego. I finished my painting and design classes a couple of weeks ago, so the days are starting to blend together again. I only know that today is Thursday, because I have the ever dreaded DENTIST appointment tomorrow. BOO. Novocaine shots make me nervous… Anyway, fall semester starts back up next week, so my summer “vacation” lasted all of two weeks. It’s okay. My summer intercession teachers were effin AWESOME (Paul Berger and Brian Dick). Southwestern has the best art teachers I’ve ever taken. Some of you are probably thinking… YOU WENT TO SOUTHWESTERN? I know, right? I used to mock that school. INCESSANTLY. I didn’t want to go to that school for the same reason I avoid going to D&Bs on Thursdays… Olé Madrid on Fridays… or E Street on Saturdays. You see the same damn Filipinos at all of these places. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If you like seeing the same people everywhere you go. SWC was definitely NOT what I expected. I had like TWO Filipinos in my classes. And I didn’t know them. And my art classes were the f*cking shit! I really wanted to take Paul’s other classes this fall, but I’ll have to wait until next semester to fit them into my schedule. My boyfriend and I are going through Paul withdrawal. Haha… So I’m STAYING in San Diego. My plans to move to the OC and the hell out of SD fell through… I just decided to stay last weekend. I simply can’t afford it. That’s the ONLY reason I’m staying in this godforsaken city… I always knew in the back of my head that I wouldn’t be able to afford it, but I thought that things would just fall into place after I moved up there. I get tuition assistance from the government because my dad served in the navy, so I can’t make that much income in order to qualify… and with the tuition rate almost doubling this year in California, it’s worth it to just take the assistance and make only about $500 a month after taxes. My rent would’ve been $500. My mom offered to give me $200 a month to just LIVE, but I couldn’t take it. That’s the whole point of moving out… to prove to my parents that I don’t need them for shit. Haha. Except that handy tuition assistance. So for now I have to suck it up and continue to live at home. BLEH. I also have to find another job, since I left Red Envelope because I thought I was moving. I’m available for rehire there, but I’m seriously DONE with customer service. Nobody calls customer service because they’re happy with their order. They call to blame you for ruining their Christmas and make you cry. Haha. I’m SO not going back to that. Two and a half years was enough for me. I take things too personally to ever get used to a job like that. I was getting paid pretty well over there, but I’ll take the paycut for a job that I enjoy. I kinda want to be a barista. I can’t be making tons of money, anyway. I hope to get web/graphic design jobs on the side that aren’t included in my taxable income 😉

My internet has been down these past few weeks… but looking at my recent blogging pattern, I probably wouldn’t have updated anyway 😉 Last weekend, I went up to the OC for my sister’s graduation (CONGRATS again, sisterfriend!). Chel, Shi, Alvin, Jed, Jay, Edgar, Shell, and Joey came up to Irvine to celebrate with us. After the ceremony, we ate at this Chinese buffet in Fullerton (cleverly titled the China Buffet) and it was YUM. We helped Pammie move out of her house aftewards, and my dad almost took her eye out when he accidentally hit her in the face with the corner of her desk. LOL LOL LOL. It wasn’t funny at the moment, but it’s funny now 😀 The drive home from Irvine was the longest. drive. EVER. I was sleeping while Edgar drove, Shell was sleeping while Joey drove, Jay was sleeping while Jed drove and my sister drove by herself so she couldn’t sleep haha. Edgar came over later that night and we just relaxed and watched movies. On Sunday, I went to the Salinas fiesta at Southwestern and ate dinner at Edgar’s with Shell and Joey. I can’t for the life of me remember what I did on Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Oh wait, no, I remember what I did on Wednesday! We saw a guy riding a motorcycle get hit near Southwestern by a truck who ran a red light. I was about ready to puke. I get really nervous around accidents. We were at the stoplight and then Edgar started yelling, “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” and we were like, “What?!? Did you forget something?” And then he was like, “Pull over! Pull over!” So I look over to my left and see that motorcyclist trying to walk to the side of the street and he just collapses on the ground. Edgar saw him get hit and then flip in the air and land on a ground. Edgar and Jay and ten or so other people got out of their cars and helped the guy. It was CRAZY. Afterwards, we went to Yokozuna’s to eat some sushi (sorry, Skokie!). On Thursday, my sister and I went to Edgar’s house to clean our filthy cars and then went out to dinner… On Friday, I had work. BLEH. Skokie and I went to lunch at Toro motherf*cking Sushi. I took a nap at home, then had a blockbuster night at Gerald’s with Meech, Sheen and Edgar. Eurotrip is effin HILARIOUS. Saturday was my sister’s grad party at my house. It was pretty kick back. Edgar’s “ex” was there, because she dates my cousin now (what are the odds?). I remember my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend (that he had right before me) telling my friend five years ago that he was dating me because I looked like that girl (who’s now dating my cousin). It always bugged me that she said that even though I don’t look anything like that girl now (I don’t even think I looked too much like her five years ago sans the long hair). She’s just BEAUTIFUL. Bleh. Edgar said that she invited us to her son’s birthday party. I asked when it was and he said that she told him she would friendster him the details. Friendster. We are definitely two different girls.

I’m Angela f*cking Chase. So maybe I don’t necessarily have crimson glow hair. Or an abnormally large percentage of flannel in my wardrobe. Or a neighbor with freakishly big hair that rises like the unleavened bread of his ancestors. So maybe we just have one thing in common: Angela’s relationship with her mother eerily parallels my relationship with my father. I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother. It just means too much to her. I could’ve said that! Lately I can’t even look at my mother without wanting to stab her. Repeatedly. I could’ve said that, too! Except replace the mothers with fathers, and I would’ve never said the latter (out loud). Why do I have such a horrible relationship with my dad? When did it get like this? My dad doesn’t approve of my passion, my art. My sister is graduating from a university this weekend with a Bachelors in ACCOUNTING. She has already been hired as an auditor for Ernst & Young, one of the big four accounting firms in AMERICA. My father adores her. He is SO proud of her… and then there’s me. The struggling artist. The daughter who always manages to f*ck up. My dad EXPECTS me to fail. I know it by the way he talks to me… by the evil stink-eye he gives me whenever I’m home (and he wonders why I’m never home!). I don’t know why he is so f*cking bitter. I go to school. I work. I don’t party. I don’t smoke. I didn’t have any teenage pregnancies. I’m a f*cking saint compared to a lot of people in and around my family. Now I have to tell him that I need another class to get my transfer studies degree. To a normal dad, that wouldn’t be a huge deal. I take one class in the summer and I get my dinky junior college diploma… but to my dad this means that once again, I have FAILED HIM. I cannot graduate (and I use the term loosely here since technically, even though I have acquired enough credits to “graduate” from a junior college, I will still be taking classes at a junior college for the next year because I’m not transferring to a university yet since I’m denying San Diego State’s acceptance letter—because I want to move to the OC and away from SD—and Cal Poly Pomona never graced me with one). I can get my diploma at the end of summer, but I can’t walk till next Spring because they only hold one ceremony a year. A third of the people don’t even attend the ceremony for getting their transfer studies degree. I don’t consider it a milestone in my life, and I know my dad will blow this out of proportion when I tell him tomorrow. I won’t even be able to say anything in my defense. He takes whatever I say with a grain of salt. He will find a way to lecture me… to tie this in to something completely separate from school and some how bring up the fact that I don’t floss enough or I don’t make my bed every morning or I should sleep earlier. I try to spend as little time as possible alone with my dad in order to avoid these ridiculous lectures (not to mention his aforementioned stink-eye). In the end, he just ends up making me feel like shit. My sister says that she’s proud of me and that I deserve so much more credit than my dad gives me. She tells me to just brush his shit off my shoulders, but I can’t. I’m too sensitive. It makes me angry and sad at the same time… He is one of the main reasons I decided to leave San Diego… And with that, I leave you all with a quote from J. Pierpont Morgan: The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are. I’ve decided. Now if you call me repeatedly tomorrow and I don’t pick up my phone, please come to my house to make sure that my dad didn’t kill me for not being able to walk next week. I’m only half kidding.

The Ticketmaster whore bought HOOB tix for all you b*tches 🙂 Right now the people that are for sure going are me, Pammie, Sheenie, Edgar, Brad, and Meech… I have Chelface and Alvin as maybe’s, so that leaves two extra tickets… The show is Friday, June 11, at Soma and it’s gonna ROCK so let me know if you want to have a time with us (I’m channeling Rayanne Graff). This weekend was pretty cool. Friday, I went to work and spent my night alone at home watching My So-Called Life DVDs while Edgar and the boys got piss drunk at some bar. I totally forgot about Rhea’s party! Sheesh. I wrote it on a post-it note to remind me, but I lost the post-it note and ended up forgetting about it… My mom always tells me that I’d lose my vagina if it wasn’t attached to my body… Yesterday, I saw friends I haven’t seen in over a month (Sheenie, Jay and Meech). It felt good to be around them again… especially Sheenie! She lost twenty f*cking pounds! I felt like a goddamn HEFFER next to her. Haha… then I got over it and devoured some Mexican food from Taco Fiesta. I’m swearing off eating at taco shops after midnight… We ended up watching Shrek 2 (hilarious!) and chillin at Brad’s for a bit before going home. Edgar, Brad and Sheenie went up to Long Beach afterwards, because Edgar’s dad had to go to the hospital… Hopefully everything is okay… When I got home, my crazy aunts from LA were sleeping over. My mom is pretty crazy, too, and my dad’s sister was like… “You’re mom is crazy! I’m glad you and your sister got her personality. Or else I’d have to kick you.” Because my dad is very… serious. Not at all like me or my mom. My sister inherited some of his traits (and for that I call her Ben Junior… or BJ for short. LOL). My mom and I are very alike. I’m easily distracted and Jay always makes fun of me for it… Mayan’s probably late because she saw some butterflies and followed them. He went shopping with my sister and my mom, and my mom was talking to him and out of nowhere she said “BOBA!” and started walking towards the Boba Bliss kiosk. He was like OMG that’s where Mayan gets it from! Ha. I love my mom.

I’m at work right now. I’ve only been here for forty minutes and I’m ready to GO HOME! It’s slow… and boring. It’s BRANDON! I only had four hours of sleep last night. My insomniac ass seriously needs to take some sleeping pills or something. So what’s up with YOU? I’ve been doing the same old… I haven’t seen so many of you in a long time. Sheenie. Jay. Jed. Meech. GERALD. I’m the WORST person when it comes to returning phone calls. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to your ass. Haha. If I’m vegging at home and having an I’m-gonna-veg-at-home kinda day, I usually won’t pick up the phone because people are usually calling to go out and I’m planning on staying in. If I miss your call (which is very likely considering my faulty hearing and the fact that Verizon sucks butt hair) I usually won’t call you back unless I’m doing something that day, thus giving me a reason to call so I can include you in my plans. I don’t want to call you and be like uhhh… ehhhh… gaaaah… awkward silence… because I have nothing to say sometimes… and all that can be avoided if I just don’t call at all 🙂 Anyway, I haven’t done anything life-altering or post-worthy these past few weeks. I went to my cousin’s baby’s christening… I went to Brad’s… I went to Jose’s… I went to Joey’s… I watched Goonies for the first time… I dyed Shell’s hair… and I think that was my week. Yesterday, I ate at Soup Plantation with Edgar, the twins and Skokie. It was just gonna be me and Skokie because we were starvin marvin after work, but I called Edgar up and he was like, “Is it cool if me and the twins eat with you guys?” and I was like, “Of course… Why wouldn’t it be? This isn’t a DATE, you FREAK!” Haha. If it was a date, then he’d better be taking me to Beni f*cking Hana’s 😉 Soup Plantation does have the blueberries-from-the-coast-of-Maine thing going for them, though… I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend. Edgar might go riding at Gordon’s Well, my parents are going up to Chino, my sister is staying in the OC to study for her finals… and I have work. Maybe I’ll stay home and enjoy the silence… You can stop by if you want, but you’re gonna have to do the truffle shuffle to get in.

So today ended on a sour note. WTF? Who knows what happened? I sure don’t. Anyway, I went to a Padres game tonight. It was my first time at Petco Park. I haven’t been to a baseball game since the fifth grade or something. Padres beat Cincinnati. Someone cue the dinky fireworks. After the game, Edgar, Brad, Chris, Arlene, Zell, Skokie (thanks for hanging out with us!) and Edgar’s cousin’s husband’s relative and her friend went to Hooters downtown. Then we went home. Wow. Today seemed so much longer than a six-line paragraph. Oh, well, I could tell you that I went to the pet store at Grossmont and ooh’d and ahh’d over the St. Bernard puppies they had, but I won’t. Okay, I just did. OH, and I could tell you that I have all the recipes for every single Jamba Juice smoothie out there. DBJ! More tomorrow!

Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SANDY!

I lost count of how many times I said that today. I went to the OC with Edgar to chill with Pammie. I ♥ the OC! Specifically Irvine. I’m so, so, so excited to be moving up there this summer. The vibe was faboo and the malls were cool and the traffic was hell, but I didn’t care because I ♥ this place! Being up there made me realize how much I won’t miss San Diego (haha!)… and how much I miss being around my big sister (even though she comes down practically every weekend!)… and that there IS a world outside SD. Edgar and I got there mid-afternoon and we all went to Southcoast so Edgar could buy his bougie-mcboug Lacoste shirt. He has like a million of those shirts in a million different colors… “but not in black, Mayan.” And now he has to get some all black Dunks to match. Even though he has a million pairs of black shoes. Ahh, he’s my boyfriend. I’m allowed to mock him. At least I convinced him to buy a medium shirt so he wouldn’t be swimming in his clothes 🙂 Southcoast is massive. I don’t even think we walked through the entire mall. I just remember seeing tons of random girls with huge flowers in their hair. Uhhh, sorry, JASMINE TRIAS. I didn’t know I was in Hawaii. That must be an OC thing, because I don’t ever see girls in SD putting foliage in their hair. Anyway, we went to Irvine Spectrum after that and I ♥ that place! The stores… the people… the restaurants… everything. I finally sat in the LOVE SAC that I remember Shi raving about many moons ago. It was heaven in an oversized bag. [Quick shout out to BYRON, the manager at Love Sac (like he’ll ever read this, but you should visit him! Haha)… when he found out we were Filipino, he delivered a complete monologue in TAGALOG. I was trippin. This TOTAL white guy was speaking it more fluently and with better enunciation than I could. He said that his girlfriend was Filipino and her mother wouldn’t let him eat in their house unless he could speak Tagalog so he learned it because her cooking was so good and he taught himself how to speak it by reading an English/Tagalog translation book and he has since broken up with his girlfriend because she moved to New York, but he still loves the language and would like to visit the Philippines soon… and he said this ALL in Tagalog. I’m STILL trippin! Isn’t that amazing that he learned his girlfriend’s native language to please her mother?] I’m seriously considering saving up for one for when I move up there. It’s almost $500! But well worth it! If I get one, I know I will go home from class and find Shi sleeping in it. Haha. She’s moving in with me and my sister! It’s gonna be effin awesome living with the girls. I wish Chelface and Roxy could move in with us, also. We would fill the house with laughter and watermelon pictures. Haha. We went to Urban Outfitters and Pammie bought me the CUTEST shoes (thanks, seester!). Edgar bought another shirt with a Buddha on it and it says, “For good luck, rub my tummy” Edgar doesn’t have a tummy. DBJ, homie. He has multiple tapeworms. I love that you don’t have to go downtown to shop at Urban in the OC like you have to in SD. It’s just so much more convenient there. Afterwards, we were hungry, so we ate at Shi’s old work, The Yardhouse. The atmosphere was so nice and I’ve never seen so much beer on tap in my life. We have a Yardhouse in SD, but I’ve never eaten there before. The waitress was hella cool. Sh*t, even the lady in the bathroom handing out the towels was cool. And you know what else was cool? My sister treating us out to dinner! MAN. I ♥ this place! Sorry we didn’t make it to your Friends finale extravaganza, Shi! Haha. Edgar and I needed to head back home to SD by the time we were done eating. This girl was all… “No one will want to answer the door if you come after eight o’clock, so come in through the back gate which we’ll leave open! Don’t ring the doorbell after eight… I’m telling you no one will answer it!” LOL. You crack me up, Shi. I have the Gilmore Girls DVD set… the My So-Called Life DVD set… You have the Sex & the City DVD sets and probably the entire Friends DVD set… We are television DVD set whores!

OMG. It was 100 motherf*ckin degrees out today! It feels like SUMMER already. I hate unbearably butt-hot weather. It just encompasses a crapload of things that I disfavor in life (like sunburns and wearing shorts). Don’t mind me. I’m just bitter because beach season is fast approaching and I’m not ready. Haha. Oh, I am FAR from ready. Perhaps I’ll be ready for summer 2005. Or 2010. Anyway, the construction workers are almost done tiling the first floor of our house. Thank goodness I didn’t have to help chisel tile or whatever it is you have to do to tile the floor. I shouldn’t be trusted with a power tool. Or just any tool in general. I wouldn’t even trust myself with a spork. Now I’m just rambling… I finally have high speed internet! My mom used to go crazy downloading all these songs on Kazaa when we had dial-up, but now she’s certifiably insane. I went on the computer the other day and she straight downloaded The Passion of The Christ! It was like… a MILLION kilobytes. She’s the bootleg quee-een! Who taught her how to use this thing? Haha.

Today, Edgar and I were talking about how I’m not very social. I have a small group of close friends and I’m fine with that. Edgar has like a ja-billion friends and he sees someone he knows every time we’re out (starts to get annoying, huh, Chel! Haha). It’s not the amount of friends (or friendsters) you have… It’s the quality of friends. When I move up to the OC, I’ll hopefully meet quality friends with similar interests. I have like ONE friend in SD who shares my passion for graphic design (sup, SKOKIE!). Other people just don’t get it. They don’t understand that sometimes I just want to embrace my inner nerd and stay home and work on my design projects instead of hanging out and doing nothing… My designs are self-fulfilling. Sometimes I feel like I’m just going clubbing because I feel like I’m supposed to do that kind of thing because I’m in the 18-24 age group. I have fun, but sometimes you just can’t fight your inner nerd. Resistance is futile.

Holy guacamole. I haven’t posted in FOREVER. I think this is the longest I’ve gone without updating my website… I’ve been so busy with other graphic design projects lately. It’s almost been a MONTH since I last updated. Hmmm… What’s happened since then? Gerald left for Baghdad… We’re all pretty sad about it, but he seems to be doing okay so far 🙂 Edgar and I celebrated our FIVE YEAR anniversary! He gave me a beautifully written, hand-made card, a bottle of COKE (I gave it up for Lent and was going crazy without it) and CHURROS because HELLO. It’s CHURROS… I ♥ CHURROS! Because of his financial situation, I wasn’t expecting anything at all, so this was a pleasant surprise… School and work have been very routine… I never know what day it is… The days just sort of blend together. Anyway, I’m at work and I’m almost off, so I will update this some more in a day or two or TEN 🙂 I’m gonna go eat pho with Edgar, Shell, Joey and the twins I think after work.

I’m officially on SPRING BREAK. Yippee. No one else is on spring break, though. Haha. Except Meehchelle. And she’s only on spring break because she teaches kindergarten and her kids are on break. Meehchelle’s gonna be such a good mom! She has eternal patience with those little buggers 🙂 Anyway, I’m in better spirits because the tension has died down in the house… My parents are renovating. We’re gonna have wood stairs and tiles on the bottom floor instead of our smooshed blue carpet (just in time for those hot summer days). We’re even gonna get HIGH SPEED INTERNET. Why did my parents decide to get all this supercool stuff now? Shooooot. What’s next? A jacuzzi? A Mercedes (yeah, right! THAT’LL be the day)? I’m happy for them. They never spend their money on great things like this. It’s about time they started enjoying the fruits of their labor… It’s too bad that I won’t be here in SD to enjoy it, too! Oh, well… I’ll just enjoy the fruits of my sister’s labor in the OC 😉 Well, this is Gerald’s last week in the US of A before he leaves for the dreaded BAGHDAD. I’m so worried because I keep hearing about soldiers being killed over there… *SIGH* This past week, we’ve been spending a lot of time with Gerald. On Friday, we had a get-together for him at Meehchelle’s house again. He wasn’t as drunk as he was the last time so there was no fridge-freakage! HOWEVER, Edgar stripped to his boxers and ran around outside around three in the morning! Vodka makes you do crazy things. Especially when you’re a one-hitter quitter like Edgar. I don’t know how much you all want to see my drunk boyfriend in boxers, but I will be posting pictures up shortly 😉 Last night, I actually stayed HOME. Shocker, huh. I had relatives over and didn’t feel like going out. I hope you all had fun at Kevin’s party (happy 21st, homie! Stay away from the photo machines at D&B’s!). After work, I think I’m gonna catch a movie with Edgar… or go home and work on my GG site… or Len’s cartoon illustration… I seriously need a break from the computer… I’m on it at work, at school, at home… My wrists have been hurting a lot lately. I need to buy new ones.

It’s about damn time I updated, huh?! I’ve been busy working on other projects… my Gilmore Girls website (I’m a total NERD) and Jay’s site… plus I’ve been going to school, working, and staying out late with the homies. Ha, ha. I hope you know that when I say “homies” I do it for MOCKING purposes only 😉 I always say, “I’m gonna stay home today…” and then something happens like Edgar asks me to go to the airport to see his relatives off, or Jay asks me to help him with his web assignment, or Sheenie is bored as f*ck in Carlsbad and she offers to give me gas money if I go up and see her HAHA. Things just never go as planned… Anyway, over the weekend I went to PB Bar&Grill with Ed, Gerald, Sheenie, Meehchelle, Jed, Jay, Beejaye and his homies. We were in line to get in for over an effin hour! I forgot that most colleges were on spring break… Speaking of college (like my nice transition there?), I got home the other night and found a big envelope sitting on my bed with the SDSU logo on it. I felt like Rory f*cking Gilmore except her acceptance letters were from ivy leagues and mine was from San Diego State. Haha. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. I know it’s just SDSU, but I missed out on the whole college application process in high school… but I don’t plan on going to SDSU. I’m waiting for a big envelope from Cal Poly Pomona so I can move up to the OC with Pammie. If I get one of those little envelopes I’m going to pee in my panties. What I REALLY want is to go to an art school in San Francisco where I can hone my craft. I’m sure I could… if I wanted to be homeless and broke. I’m too high maintenance for that 😉 Anyway, my home life has been unsatisfying to say the least. I hate being put in the middle. I hate feeling awkward in my own home. I hope it’ll pass… It always does. It’s just harder because my sister doesn’t live there anymore so I just keep to myself when problems arise. It’ll pass. Maybe it’ll happen if I keep telling myself that.

Last night was CRAZY. I haven’t had that much fun in such a long time. After I had a suprisingly SUPER day at work, Gerald, Sheenie, Edgar and I ate at Hodads in Ocean Beach. Afterwards, we went to Meehchelle’s house and met up with her and Eden. EVERYONE (including Edgar the one-hitter-quitter) got drunk as F*CK. I was the only one who was sober. SOMEONE had to make sure that everyone stayed safe! I didn’t mind not drinking. I’m on medication since I’m sick anyway. I think I read somewhere that you aren’t supposed to mix medicine and alcohol 🙂 I haven’t seen Edgar that drunk since Vegas when he was praying at the altar of the porcelain god in our hotel room. Gerald was OUT OF CONTROL! Haha. I’ve NEVER seen him that drunk before… I’m really going to miss him when he leaves for the middle east next month! 🙁 Gerald said that since I’m the only sober person at the house, I’m gonna have to remember everything that happened last night and write an essay (complete with concrete details and commentary) on my website about it so they can know what happened, too. Haha. Ready for the recap? We got to Meehchelle’s house around eleven at night. She and Eden were on a mission to get f*cked up, so Meehchelle pulled out a shitload of alcohol from her freezer… Eden, Meehchelle and Gerald started taking shots of Gray Goose, and Edgar and I left to get cranberry juice and Rock Star so they could have some mixed drinks. When we came back, ALL of them were buzzin and N.E.R.D. was blasting in the background. Edgar started drinking with them, while I read all of Meehchelle’s Rolling Stone magazines. I was reading the greatest article ever written about The Strokes when Eden interrupts me in a drunken stupor. This girl is 4’7″ and she drinks like a fish! She also works at a juvenile holding facility, so I wouldn’t let her size fool me! Haha. She was the first to pass out. Edgar turned lobster-red and started giggling to himself and wearing a basket on his head… I walked around the house and Gerald was on the floor spinning around and around and Sheenie was dancing with herself in the corner. Meehchelle started passing out with her head over the kitchen sink. Throughout the night, Gerald was dancing with everything from himself to Sheen to the fridge. He was bustin moves I’ve never seen before! Haha. He kept putting his arm around me telling me what a good friend I was. Everyone kept falling on the ground and bumping into walls and spilling drinks. FUN TIMES for everyone including SOBER ME!

LOL LOL LOL.

Anyway, yesterday was my Auntie Leslie’s 40-day death anniversary. This year is flying by so quickly… Before the prayer, I went to L&Ls for some YUMMY Hawaiian BBQ with Edgar, Jay, Jose and Sandy. We stopped by The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf afterwards so Jay could prove to Edgar that the White Chocolate Dream Latte surpasses the White Chocolate Mocha from Starbucks. Coffee isn’t really my thing. I’d rather have hot chocolate! We headed up to Chel’s house and got there when the rosary was ending. We stayed for a few hours and played Hold ‘Em with Ryan and Alvin. OMG I accidentally stepped on Jay’s poker chip holder thingy and kinda broke it. I think he would have killed me if we weren’t at a prayer with God watching. Haha… Chel is SICK! I hope you feel better…

I had a pretty good time last night. It must have been something in the fluffy chocolate chip cookies we ate. We were all acting a little loopy… Edgar offerred Jay milk from his suso, and I wouldn’t doubt it if Gerald threw back one or two or EIGHT brewskies before meeting up with us (maybe you should go outside! haha). What happened to the quiet, reserved Gerald I used to know? You must’ve left him in Riverside! We have to throw you a big, fat party before you leave for Bahrain… By the time you come back, I’ll probably be going to school in the OC… Michelle will be married and living in Seattle… and Edgar will be in the navy… somewhere… but I don’t know… A lot of things can happen in six months. Hopefully GOOD things. Anyway, I’m gonna head home soon and tackle my history and art homework. BOOOOO. Sorry I can’t come out and play, Sheenie! Hope you’re having fun at Inday’s baby shower…

During our random trip to Costco today, Jay asked me, “What does Freak Me ’98 mean?” OH HELL NO. Freak Me ’98. I haven’t heard that in six years. Apparently, I wrote that in Mike Le’s yearbook in high school, and Beejaye and Mike came across it recently. Has it really been six years? It took me a while to remember why the hell I would write that in Mike’s yearbook… then I flashbacked to a time when I wasn’t afraid to show some skin… when my hair was dyed light brown… when “the tighter, the shorter, the better” was my clothing standard… when I was known as GUMMYI3EAR. I went to the Sweethearts dance with Jay that year, and it was my first dance with a boy. Haha. I was wearing this short ass, cleavage-baring dress. When Mike saw me that night he was like, “Damn! I thought this was the Sweethearts dance, not Freak Me ’98!” LOL. I’m such a different person now. I can’t believe I used to dress like that… I guess we all have our phases. I’d post a picture of me from my hoochie days, but I think admitting it is embarassing enough. No need to throw in any crazy visuals! Haha… DBJ. I wouldn’t want certain old pictures of me circulating the internet.

I’m SO sick (thanks, Sheenie! BLEH). I’m supposed to go snowboarding tomorrow. I always get sick right before I’m about to do something fun… How was everyone’s Valentine’s weekend? On Friday, I went to Edgar’s house for his dad’s birthday party. Everyone played Hold ‘Em for actual money this time. My broke ass just sat there blowing my nose the whole night. Fun times… Yesterday, I slept all afternoon since my meds made me hella drowsy… When I finally got up, I went down to Rosarito to have dinner with Edgar, Gerald, Scott, Chris, Arlene and her relatives. Dinner was expensive as f*ck, but it was a night of firsts… It was my first time going to MEXICO (even though I’ve lived in SD all my life) and my first time riding in a limo (Arlene’s brother owns a limo service, so we took two limos down there instead of taking all our cars). Edgar baked me cookies that spelled out “I ♥ U,” which is a pretty BIG deal considering Edgar doesn’t even know how to cook cup o’noodles. It was a sweet surprise 🙂 He really did TRY to make it a nice day for me, but I was sooo miserable from being sick. I hate being sick. You just can’t have fun when you’re sick… Right now I’m at Edgar’s house waiting for my sister, Jay and Jed to come over and bring me a Jamba Juice Coldbuster to bust my cold. We’re all gonna go to Mark’s housewarming later on tonight… This past week has been so shitty for me. It started off with the whole transferring debacle and ended with me being sick. Edgar has been taking care of me, though… and I’m just not gonna stress about school anymore. I think I have my mind set on transferring to Cal Poly Pomona instead of SDSU now… It’ll do me some good to get out of San Diego. I know that if I go to SDSU, it’ll take me YEARS to finish college since every f*cking major is impacted there… plus I’ll be less distracted in the OC than I am here in SD… I’ll be able to focus more on school and less on everything else. I have like ONE friend who actually goes to school down here, so I’m easily inclined to skip class or studying time to hang out with my friends who don’t go to school… And everyone’s growing up… doing their own thing. Gerald’s going to be deployed for several months… Michelle might be getting MARRIED and moving to Washington… Edgar might be leaving for the navy. I just don’t think I can better myself if I stay here.

This morning I woke up at 5:45 a.m. and checked my cell phone… I started to panic when I saw that I had 20 missed calls from Edgar… then I panicked even more when I realized WHY I had 20 missed calls from Edgar! I was supposed to take him to the airport at 5:00 because his flight was at 6:30 ! I ran downstairs in my pajamas and was about to get into my car when I stopped to call him first to see what was going on… He was like… “Hi, babe” in an I-don’t-know-if-he’s-mad-or-sad kinda tone… He was already on his way to the airport. He had to wake up his MOM and ask her to drive him there because my ass was sleeping. If she didn’t hate me before, she probably hates me now haha… I felt SO horrible… I knew I shouldn’t have volunteered to drive his ass! I can’t even wake up in time for my 9 o’clock class… Sheenie and my sister were right when they told me there was no way I could get up that early. Ha, ha. I’m so sorry, Edgar (and Auntie)! I couldn’t sleep after that, so I just took a shower and I felt so terrible… but when I got out of the shower, he had left me a voice message saying that he wasn’t mad at me for not coming through… he just wanted to see me before he left… AWW. How sweet… The rest of my day was filled with school and homework… I think I have enough homework to last me until Edgar comes back at the end of next week… Sh*t, I think I have enough homework to last me until I’m fifty years old. I think I’m gonna be doing a lot of staying home these next few weeks… I have a shitload of homework to do… my only day off from work is tomorrow, but I have school and I’m going to my classmate’s house afterwards so we could work on our project… I hate hate hate group projects… plus it’s for HISTORY and I haaaaaate history. BOO. Alright, I better get crackin’ on the American Revolution… Fun times.

This morning I woke up at 5:45 a.m. and checked my cell phone… I started to panic when I saw that I had 20 missed calls from Edgar… then I panicked even more when I realized WHY I had 20 missed calls from Edgar! I was supposed to take him to the airport at 5:00 because his flight was at 6:30 ! I ran downstairs in my pajamas and was about to get into my car when I stopped to call him first to see what was going on… He was like… “Hi, babe” in an I-don’t-know-if-he’s-mad-or-sad kinda tone… He was already on his way to the airport. He had to wake up his MOM and ask her to drive him there because my ass was sleeping. If she didn’t hate me before, she probably hates me now haha… I felt SO horrible… I knew I shouldn’t have volunteered to drive his ass! I can’t even wake up in time for my 9 o’clock class… Sheenie and my sister were right when they told me there was no way I could get up that early. Ha, ha. I’m so sorry, Edgar (and Auntie)! I couldn’t sleep after that, so I just took a shower and I felt so terrible… but when I got out of the shower, he had left me a voice message saying that he wasn’t mad at me for not coming through… he just wanted to see me before he left… AWW. How sweet… The rest of my day was filled with school and homework… I think I have enough homework to last me until Edgar comes back at the end of next week… Sh*t, I think I have enough homework to last me until I’m fifty years old. I think I’m gonna be doing a lot of staying home these next few weeks… I have a shitload of homework to do… my only day off from work is tomorrow, but I have school and I’m going to my classmate’s house afterwards so we could work on our project… I hate hate hate group projects… plus it’s for HISTORY and I haaaaaate history. BOO. Alright, I better get crackin’ on the American Revolution… Fun times.

It feels weird to be home right now… I’ve been going to Chel’s house every night since her mom died. On the last day of prayer, I was sitting there looking at my aunt’s pictures on the fireplace mantle. I still haven’t fully grasped the fact that I won’t be seeing her again. She won’t be at the family parties tsismising with all my aunties… She won’t be there jokingly asking me if she could have some of my boobs (since she had to remove hers because of the cancer)… She won’t be there to ask me if Gerald is my new boyfriend again (since Edgar never used to go to my family parties before). My entire family has been spending so much time together going to nightly prayers at Chel’s house… even Edgar has gotten to know my aunties and cousins better (see, I wasn’t making him up! haha)… We’re all starting to go back to our regular lives (trying to, at least). I have a feeling we’ll be spending a lot more time together because of this tragedy. Our family gatherings won’t be limited to lola’s birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas any more… Chel said it best at my aunt’s funeral: “Tell your loved ones everything you want to tell them. Take them everywhere they want to go.” Tomorrow isn’t promised, so you should live every day as if it were your last. Chel also said something in her eulogy that I’m sure everyone else was thinking… “If I could’ve asked my mom anything before she died, I would’ve asked her how she made that pancit palabok.” We miss you and your palabok, Auntie…

I was the manager on duty for a while today at work. Skokie called me on the manager extension and was all, “Who the f*ck made you manager???” LOL. I was shocked myself… There’s this guy in the call center that always gives me the old stink eye. Last week, I got MODED by him for talking to Edgar on the phone while I was working… It’s been bothering me this whole week that this guy moded my ass, and today I saw an E-mail he wrote to another co-worker about it which made me even more mad… I know I’m not the only person who makes personal calls, and it bothers me that he gives me shit all the time. HATER NATION. Skokie says that I shouldn’t let him get to me, because we all have someone in the call center who decides they don’t like us and makes our work environment miserable, and I guess he’s just my personal misery-inducer. Skokie has his own misery-inducer, and she LOVES me. Haha. So I guess someone else had to hate me to balance it out. DBJ, homie… DBJ.

Yesterday, my mom came into my room at 6:30 in the morning and started to cry. My uncle had just called to let us know that my aunt had just passed away. She had lost her battle against breast cancer. The news came as a shock to my whole family… Other than being in a wheelchair, she seemed fine during Christmas (the last time I saw her alive). My parents were just with her last weekend… This all seems very surreal to me. It hasn’t really hit me yet that she’s gone… Our entire family went to their house yesterday to pay our respects before she was taken to the morgue. It seemed so unreal seeing her lying in bed… Everything happened so fast. It wasn’t even a year ago that she was hiking in Hawaii with my family… My mom went in first and was hysterical… My Auntie Leslie had been her cousin and best friend ever since they were kids (like me and my sister with Raechel, my Auntie Leslie’s daughter). I hate seeing my mom so sad. She stayed in bed all day today. It’s upsetting to think about all the things my aunt is going to miss… She’ll never get to see her children get married. She’ll never get to meet her grandkids. She’ll never get to see her youngest daughter graduate from high school. They say that everything happens for a reason, but why did this have to happen to her? My sister, Shi, Roxy, and I ended up sleeping at Raechel’s house last night. It’s been years since we’ve had a sleepover, and it’s sad that this was the reason for it… There were tons of people at Chel’s house yesterday. I hope my aunt was able to see how many people love and miss her. I’m glad that she’s in a place where she can’t hurt anymore.

R.I.P. Leslie Tejidor… July 25, 1959 – January 22, 2004.

Coldplay – The Scientist
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/thescientist.mp3]

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
I’m going back to the start

Could this day. Be. Any. Longer? Skokie got off early and Sharon’s in P.I. so I’m stuck at work with no one to talk to but you people. Haha. Last night was FUN TIMES with Chel, Alvin, Sheenie, Jay, Jed and Edgar. Alvin treated us to a night of bowling at Brunswick (thanks, homie!). Chel is an effin GOOD ass bowler (she swears she hasn’t bowled in over a year! hehe), Alvin bowls like a gazelle (he’s freakishly tall for a Filipino boy), and Team Edgar/Jed/Jay killed us… Last night, I had a brush with DEATH! I was driving too fast on a turn on my way to Brunswick, and I spun out and did a 360 on the road. I swear I felt like I was going in slow motion. One of my greatest fears is dying a terrible death in a car accident… Luckily there were no cars around when it happened. How the f*ck did I get my driver’s license?! I’m such a horrible driver. I get distracted really easily and sometimes I forget that I’m driving. If you value your life, stay away from my ass when I’m on the road… I’m the white Toyota Camry who keeps swerving.

I went to work this morning because I was going to cover some girl’s shift… and when I got there she was like… I don’t need you to cover my shift for another couple of hours… !!! What the… I woke up early for this shit, lady. That’s alright. I just stayed at work for a while and took advantage of their high speed internet. I ended up not having to cover the end of her shift since it was slow as molasses, so I wasted a perfectly good Friday morning at work. Edgar (the co-worker… I’ll just call him “Skokie” when I mention him, so I don’t have to keep saying “Edgar the boyfriend” and “Edgar the co-worker”) got off work when I was leaving, so we had lunch at Toro motherf*ckin Sushi! 🙂 I ♥ sushi. But not the real kind. The California kind. Ha. Now I’m just waiting for the candle man to get off of work so we can help Sheenie move her shit out of Jamul and into storage. We have to LIFT things. BOO. Haha. I’m so lazy. Sheenie just called wondering where I was, and she said that Jay said that I probably fell asleep after a hot shower (I have a tendency to do that… warm things make me sleepy). Jay said that if that’s not what happened, then I probably saw some butterflies and started following them. Heeeeey. 🙁 I get distracted REALLY easily. That’s no reason to make fun of me, FURBY JAY, JAY FURBY. Ha, ha. =X

It’s 1:30 in the morning and I’m officially 22-years-old!!! I’m up doing my english paper that I’ve been procrastinating on the entire weekend. I just got home from watching Something’s Gotta Give with Edgar, Jay and my sister. That movie was awesome. I loved it. Awkwardly enough, we ran into Joyce and Alex who were coincidentally watching the same movie. Joyce still has the freakishly contagious laugh that I remember from high school. Haha. Some things never change.

How GREAT was this weekend? On Friday, I went to go pick up my paycheck and my supervisor was like, “I know you aren’t working right now, but can I see you in my office?” and I was just sitting in his office shitting bricks thinking, “I am SO fired.” Then he comes in and closes the door and says, “We want to hire you as a permanent here.” I’ve been a “seasonal” for two effin years waiting to hear those words. I even got a nice RAISE. What a LOVELY birthday gift 🙂 Later that night, I had tons of fun celebrating my birthday at D&B’s and PB Bar & Grill with Edgar, my sister, Chel, Alvin, Jed, Jay, Sheena, Gerald, Meehchelle, and Joanne. I’m never drinking martinis again, though! Crazy dancing man was bustin his moves at PB as usual. Yesterday, I had a pretty good day at work and my co-worker, Edgar, took me out to lunch for my birthday (thanks again, homie!). After work, I went to the Strip Club Steakhouse to celebrate Meehchelle’s 24th birthday. Afterwards, we went to Ra for some drinks. They make a mean Chambourd Sour over there! Thanks for hooking us up, Marvin! When we were walking back to the car, we ran into Chel and Alvin outside some coffee shop! We decided not to leave yet and had a few more drinks at The Lime where some random guy told Alvin he was cute. Haha. Right now I’m at work and it’s slow as molasses, so I finally have time to update this. I am swamped with school work! Bleh. I’ll do that when I get home tonight. I’m switching to Verizon today, so I’ll let you all know my new cell phone number tomorrow, guys! No more sending you to my voicemail because I don’t have anymore anytime minutes to spare! Haha.

Happy New Year! I hope everyone had an EXCITING New Year’s Eve. Shi, I think yours was the MOST exciting. LOL. Edgar, Jay, Jed, Meehchelle, Rossanne, my sister and I spent our New Year’s Eve at Edgar’s house taking shots of Grey Goose and playing No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em (Jed was Master P… Rossanne was Faboloso?). On New Year’s I slept in and had dinner at Jed’s with Edgar, my sister and Jay. We hit up Sycuan around midnight and Edgar and I lost $50 on slots. That shit is addicting. On Friday, my sister and I were supposed to go out with Shi and Roxy, but it was RAINING and who wants to go to PB Bar & Grill when it’s open patio? I ended up eating dinner with my sister at BJ’s and having a blockbuster night. Yesterday, I had work and originally had plans to go out with Roxy, Chel and Shi again, but ended up spending more quality time with my sister. We need to go out, girls! My birthday’s next Monday, but I think I’m going to be too busy with intercession and work to really celebrate… Plus we’re already celebrating my friend’s birthday this weekend. Maybe we’ll do something on Friday? We’ll see… Anyway, my sister and I finally watched Love Actually. I’ve been waiting for two effin months to watch it, because no one else wanted to watch this epitomized chick flick. It was SO good. OMG. I laughed. I cried. and I cried. and I cried. I got this weird, aching feeling in my body… so watch it if you like weird, aching feelings in your body.

I had such a KICK ASS weekend. I haven’t had a weekend off from work since summer! After getting over the effin stomach flu, I went snowboarding with my sister, Ed, Jay, Jed, Chris, Sheena, Brad, Beejaye, Shell, Banana and Joey at Mountain High. We were supposed to go to Big Bear, but whatever… I ♥ SNOW! So what if it’s MAN-MADE snow? It was still very COOL. I lost count of how many times I fell on my ass, tumbled down the hill and smacked my head on the ice. I’m SO sore right now, but it was worth it. Photos will be up soon… For my birthday in January, I want to rent a cabin in Big Bear for the weekend with my friends and MASTER snowboarding! Haha. Maybe not master, but I at least want to know how to stop without falling on my butt… Later that night, we celebrated my sister’s birthday by having dinner at BJ’s and chilled at Jed’s house afterwards. Yesterday, my sister and I did 99% of our Christmas shopping downtown and met up with Jed and Jay to kick it. I cannot stop laughing when I’m around them. Those are the friends you know will always be around no matter what 🙂 Today, my sister and I went shopping again downtown and at Fashion Valley with Ed, Jed and Jay. Jed bought my sister a new Verizon picture phone for Christmas (damn, BALLER!). I need to switch to Verizon soon, because no one has Sh*tular anymore and my mobile-to-mobile minutes have become obsolete… My sister went back up to Irvine and I just finished wrapping up everyone’s gifts. The only people I haven’t bought gifts for are my sister and Ed… two of the most important ones! I know Ed’s Christmas gift for me won’t be coming until January since money’s always tight this time of year… I just hope he doesn’t combine it with my birthday gift… and my Valentine’s day gift… and our 5-year anniversary gift. OH HELL NO. I’ve heard of 2-for-1 gifts before, but 4-for-1? I will cut him.

Right now I’m at work and it is SO slow. I should be cherishing these slow days though, because once Thanksgiving is over, I’m gonna be BEGGING for them! Last Christmas, we had a full call center and still had 100+ calls holding for people trying to place holiday orders. I don’t need that kind of stress when I have finals coming up… Anyway, this morning Ed and I had breakfast with Shell and Joey at this place called The Potato Shack in Encinitas… about 45 minutes away from our houses! We were supposed to go downtown to pick something up for my dad before that, but my ass woke up late (again!). I ♥ sleeping. I wasn’t fulfilling my navigator duties, because we missed the exit by about 10 miles LOL. We were like… “Uh.. isn’t that the check point? I don’t remember Encinitas being this far…” Haha. We turned around and got off on the right exit but made a wrong turn because of my poor navigation skills again. Who made me navigator anyways??? You know I have no sense of direction. We eventually made it to the Potato Shack where we ate MANHOLE-sized pancakes and french toast. I don’t normally eat breakfast, so this was really magical. We went to Joey’s house afterwards so Ed could pick up some of Joey’s riding gear. Apparantly, he’s letting Ed use his motorcycle because he doesn’t ever ride it. GEEZ. Give me a heart attack!!! THANKS, JOEY. Anyway, we went downtown to pick up the hardware that they DIDN’T end up having, and then went back to Ed’s to take a nap together before going to work. Usually when I’m sleeping, I don’t like people crowding my space, hogging my blanket and using my pillows, but with him I don’t mind. That much. Haha. Then again, it’s much different sleeping next to him than say, sleeping next to my sister with our butts touching. LOL. I like to sleep in my undies, too, so NO spooning with anyone but Ed (and sometimes Sheen! Hahaha). After work, I think I’m gonna watch a movie with the usual crew… Maybe “Gothika” or “TX Chainsaw Massacre.” I’m in the mood for something scary.

I am so BORED. I’m at work and it’s slow as MOLASSES 🙁 Being the procrastinator that I am, I have to go to Ed’s tonight after working all day and do my graphic design project that is due TOMORROW at noon. I still have to buy some supplies before I head over there. GRR. My dad always says that I do things at the last minute. My dad is a wise man. I’ve spent a LOT of time just kicking it with friends… and when I’m not doing that I’m working, so I haven’t really been concentrating on school. I still need to fill out my SDSU app that’s due pretty damn SOON! I just really need to sit down and focus and do what I need to do instead of “gallivanting” around like I don’t have any responsibilities. Gallivanting. I hate that word. Filipino parents embrace it. I don’t think my parents have ever used it, though… but we’re hardly your typical Filipino-American family (my mom graduated from SuHi for goodness sake!). My dad prefers the term “fooling around” (i.e. “You should be sleeping instead of fooling around on the computer at three in the morning.”). Anyway, I don’t think I’m gonna go out this week till the weekend. I have TONS of catching up to do in my web publishing class. I have to work on The SpecialGuest site (sorry I’m LAGGING, boys!). I just need to stay home and stop being frivolous with my mediocre paychecks. I really have to save my money because I only have TWO paychecks left till Christmas! I can’t believe it’s that time of year again. I’m working my ass off and going to school and I’m exhausted and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. BLEH. Maybe I’m just in a sour mood because I’m PMS-ing. GROSS. Haha… Chris, Arlene and Zell are leaving soon! I wish they could stick around so we could be there when Arlene gives birth to their baby girl. We went to her baby shower last night and her sister, Selene, was cracking me up. She’s CRAZY! The last time Arlene had a baby shower, my sister won all the damn baby game prizes! I didn’t win anything again this time around. We stayed there till two in the morning belting out karaoke favorites like Boy George’s “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” and Bill Withers’ “Lean On Me.” Good times, good times. Brad is the karaoke KING! We should all go to a bar and have a drunken karaoke performance 😉 *SIGH* I’m missing my cousin’s baby shower today. I’m missing gossip with Chel and my seester. I’m missing the baby games. I’m missing SHRIMP LUMPIA (devil!). Someone out there must really hate me.

I’m officially SAD. I’m at work and all my friends sit far, far away… and to rub more salt into the wound, they all sit NEXT TO each other! It’s 6th grade camp all over again! There were two cabins, so I had a 50/50 chance of being in the same cabin as my buddies, but of course I was assigned to BUCKWHEAT, the OTHER den. Makes me want to work someone else. I’m growing tiresome of taking orders over the phone for things such as gourmet body paint and get-lucky dice. I’ve always wondered why people just don’t order these things online… especially when you can tell they’re embarrassed that they’re ordering such a risqué item! I always seem to get the pervs who want me to read off the sensual fantasies you can play out in our Nights with Eros game. Dirty freaks! I’m not getting paid to get you off. I put some guy on hold and when I came back on the line he asked if that was me singing in the music they play when you’re on hold… Umm, I didn’t know I sounded like five-time Grammy award winner, NORAH JONES. Anyway, these pass couple of days have been strange. On Sunday, I had work most of the day, then went to Ed’s house. He looked different. Taller. I hadn’t seen him in six days. We ate a YUMMY dinner at Jed’s house and I felt all nostalgic kicking it again with the boys I grew up with. Afterwards, we met up with Chris, Scott and Carmina to watch “Kill Bill.” That movie was effin AWESOME. I can’t wait till Volume II comes out. Yesterday, I had no work and no school, so I had lunch with Shell, Joey and the twins at a pho place in Clairemont. I went to Joey’s house afterwards and watched “Finding Nemo” while Munchkin (Shell’s dog) fell asleep on me. He *HEARTS* Auntie Mayan 🙂 He has peed on me twice. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is. I wanted to see Ed since it was the only day that I had off from both work and school till THANKSGIVING, but of course… the boys are back from the navy… and who am I to deny him playtime with his boyfriends? I’m tired of working and going to school at the same time. I hope I win the lotto.

So I cut my bangs. The reaction? From me: “OH GOD.” From my sister and Jay: “You look CUTE!” From my mom: (blank stare). Ed hasn’t seen it yet. I haven’t seen him in almost a week! This might be a record haha. Busy lives. I’m iffy about the whole bang thing… Maybe I’m not used to it yet. Maybe I’m not used to having hair in my eyes. In my glasses. On my face. What I’m used to is washing my hair and going. Now I have these bangs to tend to. I’ve had this part in my hair for like.. 20 years. So my bangs are naturally parting where my part is and I have to blow dry them sideways so they don’t do that. Hopefully it won’t take that long to train them to sweep over sideways like I want them to. Maybe I’ll take a picture and show you guys. Maybe. Anyway, this week has been crazy. Working and going to school full-time is harder than I remember it being. I don’t have free time to just hang out. I have to miss parties and dinners and baby showers (Why is everyone having babies around the same time? Did I miss some kind of consummation convention?). Not like I was a social butterfly before this, but the number of social events I’ve been invited to have steadily increased since I started working again. Maybe party-throwers like to invite people who are employed. People who can give nice gifts instead of I.O.U.’s. Haha. Hmm what have I been doing these past few days… It was my mom’s birthday on Friday so we took her and her sisters out to dinner… coincidentally saw BIGDEEZIE there… my sister’s ex… I think he has PAM RADAR (huh, Chris? LOL). ANYWAY. Yesterday, I had work the whole day while my family had dinner and watched the new Matrix movie without me… It’s okay though, because I haven’t even seen the second one. I cut my bangs and then kicked it at Jay’s house with my sister. Jed treated us to dinner at Bennigan’s (THANKS!!!). We haven’t seen him in like a year (welcome home!). He will always be the weirdest boy I know. It’s nice to know he hasn’t changed 🙂 I’ve missed you, FLANDERS. Now I’m on my lunch break at work… not eating lunch. Drinking tons of tea because I’m still sick (going on two weeks now!). Tomorrow I have no school and no work. HODADS, anyone???

I am not: a good driver.
I hurt: when I feel unappreciated.
I love: Bedhead Ed.
I hate: strawberry ice cream.
I fear: dying a terrible death.
I hope: I get accepted into the Graphic Design major at SDSU.
I crave: Coke.
I regret: momentary lapses of judgement.
I cry: when I’m frustrated.
I care: about other people’s feelings.
I always: kick my legs out when I’m walking.
I long: to be worry free.
I feel alone: when Ed is having a boys night out and I’m having a Mayan’s night in.
I listen: to my heart instead of my head.
I hide: when I’m in trouble.
I drive: like I’m blind and drunk with one hand tied behind my back.
I sing: Hoobastank songs at the top of my lungs with Sheena.
I dance: to punk rock in my underwear.
I write: letters to better express myself.
I breathe: through my left nostril only. I’m sick.
I play: with Shell and Joey’s puppies.
I miss: quality time with Shi, Chel, Roxy and my seester.
I search: for my keys on a daily basis.
I learn: something new everyday.
I feel: hungry because I’m working overtime today.
I know: the way to San Jose.
I say: weird things at inappropriate times.
I succeed: at pretending everything’s okay.
I fail: at keeping secrets.
I dream: about weird things… and in every dream I can fly.
I wonder: what planet Ed’s mom is from.
I want: a digicam of my own.
I worry: about my sister’s love life.
I wish: I was more health-conscious.
I have: the best big sister.
I give: and give and give. I’m finally starting to receive…
I fight: with my boyfriend over STUPID shit.
I need: to feel needed.

How was YOUR weekend? Thursday and Friday for me were LOVELY. Yesterday and today were EH. On Thursday, my day just kept getting better and better and BETTER. I was freakishly happy. I didn’t have any rude customers at work. Edgar came and had lunch with me. I found out that Milo Ventimiglia is coming back to Gilmore Girls (yeah, baby!). I half expected my bangs to grow back. My sister said, “That would make this the BEST day for you.” Wouldn’t it though? On Friday, I had another good day at work, I went Christmas shopping (AKA browsing) at Fashion with Ed, Jay and Jed, then we met up with Sheen and Gerald to watch Honey (NOT my choice). It was an ALRIGHT movie. I’m thinking it was decent because I had such LOW expectations for this movie. We only watched it for JESSICA ALBA. If it was anyone else’s movie, I doubt we would’ve seen it. It was an updated version of Breakin’ II: Electric Bugaloo mixed with a little bit of Save the Last Dance. Honey was HELLA predictable and they tried a little too hard to urbanize Jessica, but all you Jessica Alba fans will like this movie regardless. Yesterday, I kicked it with Sheenie and Brad in Mission Beach and today I’m working hard (or hardly working) at Red Envelope.

I’ve been thinking about cutting some bangs for quite some time now… I’m really tired of the way my hair looks, but I don’t want to cut it because I’ve been trying to grow it out since the layered hair debacle of 1999. Right now it’s long (a little below the middle of my back), one length and BORING. I haven’t had bangs since the fifth grade. There are SO many reasons why I *shouldn’t* get bangs (they make you break out on your forehead. They never behave. I’m still scarred from the great bang fiasco of 1989 when my dad tried to give me a haircut and ended up cutting my bangs half an inch from the root. When I’m eventually tired of them and want to grow them out, my hair will be in that ugly “transition” period that’ll be responsible for many nights spent at home)… but there’s one reason I *should* cut them (which overrules all the cons): I’ll look CUTER. Well that’s what Jay and my sister said. Unless they’re plotting to make me look like I got hit with an ugly stick. What to do…

Yesterday I spent some quality time with the boyfriend. We’re both broke after the Vegas trip! GEEZ. I’m living off my credit card for another two weeks. HORRIBLE. We went to Clairemont to eat some pho for lunch (hey ZEE, where’s the pho place in National City???), then headed over to Canes in Mission Beach to get our tickets for the Scratch Tour that night. We drove around killing some time and ended up at Grossmont where we saw more bulldog pups! Ahhhh. I want a puppy dog. We checked out some snowboard gear at Rider’s House. I’m pretty excited to go snowboarding but effin SKERD. I’m not the most athletic person out there. Or the most balanced. I get skerd just going downhill on rollerblades. I don’t know how to surf. Or skateboard… and who could forget the great skateboard crash of 1988 that left my sister with multiple wounds? The only sport I’m good at is BADMINTON. Haha. Don’t knock it till you try it. It’s TOO fun. Afterwards, we picked up Jay at his pizzad fo shizzad and stopped at L&L’s for dinner before heading back to Canes. We were HELLA early, so we just stood outside and watched the X-ecutioners practice their set. I wasn’t planning on going since I’m low on funds (or ends. or skrillahz. or whatever ghetto synonym Jigga Jay has for money!), but Bedhead Ed paid for me (thanks, buttface!). It was $50 for the both of us, so I felt bad since he’s broke also, so I insisted that he just go with Jay and I would go home and watch the WB. Haha… He said he would feel bad if I couldn’t go, and I told him it was really okay because this was HIS thing, not my thing. I didn’t HAVE to go. Then he tells me, “I want you to come, because if I go without you, I’ll just keep thinking about how you’re not there with me.” WTF? Where did that come from? LOL. Edgar NEVER says anything remotely mushy (am I right?). He must have had some kind of stroke or something. Anyway, it was SWEET 🙂 I’m SOOOO glad I went!!! The Scratch Tour was effin DOPE!!! It was Jazzy J, Mixmaster Mike, the X-ecutioners and Z-trip (what happened to Q-bert???). The highlight of the show was Z-trip! Who is this white boy?!? He was effin AWESOME! He mixed hip hop, 80s and rock music! He busted some SUPERSONIC in there along with IRON MAN and I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL. He got the crowd soooo hyped up. If the Scratch Tour comes to your town, you should DEFINITELY check it out.

I’ve never drank so much tea in my life. I’ve been drinking tea nonstop these past couple of days. I was sick the entire week before I went to Vegas, and as soon as I got there Friday night, my hacking cough became hackier, my stuffy nose became stuffier and my voice went from raspy (a la Tara Reid) to nonexistent (think Charlie Chaplin). Whoever’s pulling the strings in my life had to pick the weekend I go on VACATION for me to be sick and miserable. Besides being sick, I had a pretty good time. After losing my driver’s license (not something you’d like to happen the weekend you’re going to VEGAS) and forgetting my ATM card in the ATM machine (thanks for chasing me down, lady! Like Jay would say… “Mayan forgot something? HMM. That’s weird.”), we were on our way. Ed, Chris, Jay and I rolled up in Ed’s car. We hit San Diego traffic, Riverside traffic and Vegas traffic. It took us over seven effin hours to get there. We met up with Shell and Joey in Hesperia (near Barstow). It was FORTY effin degrees out and windy as HELL. I’ve never been so cold in my life. I’m one spoiled San Diegan. Once we got to Vegas, we had dinner at Ed’s cousin’s house. We left for the hotel after that and got settled in our tiny room at the Marriott Residence Inn. The original plan to stay at the penthouse from Ed’s parents’ timeshare was compromised when they informed us that they were too booked and were going to instead book a “very big” room for us at the Marriott. There was nothing “very big” about our room, but who can complain when it was free? No worries. The boys left for the liquor store while Shell and I stayed behind and tried on Jay and Ed’s costumes. Haha. Once the boys came back, Jay changed into his bloody tampon costume and Chris into his neon green pimp suit (pictures will soon be posted!). I just wore my Josie and the Pussycat leopard cat ears from a few years back since it was so last minute. Everyone but Ed started drinking (he gets BAD allergies). I’ve never seen Joey’s face become so red and so swollen. Har har. I guess he gets bad allergies, too. My sister, Gabe and Sheen arrived around three o’clock in the morning. Everyone but Ed, Shell and Joey (they were tired) hit up the Mirage casino around four o’clock. Chris and Gabe were drunk as hell, Jay and Sheen were buzzin, and my sister and I were pretty damn sober. We both felt sick so we didn’t have much to drink. When we say no to Chambord, you KNOW something’s wrong! Gabe let me gamble with his money and I won him $50! His drunk ass gave it to me, but of course I blew it all (plus another $40) on slots the following day. We headed back to the hotel around six in the morning, but not before seeing this couple f*cking in their car at the top level of the parking garage with their headlights on! We would have stayed for the show, but we were all so exhausted from the ride up. Gabe and Chris are loud ass motherf*ckers when they’re drunk! Haha. I think our hotel neighbors were damn pissed about the loudness. Oh, well. The next day we hit up the Bellagio (where we ate at the yummy buffet) and Caesar’s Palace (for some shopping… well, for ME, window shopping). We headed back to the hotel at night so people could take naps and relax for a bit before going out again. My sister and I were the only ones who didn’t fall asleep, so we watched a “Law & Order” marathon (we’re ADDICTED to that shit!). Everyone eventually woke up again and started getting ready to go clubbin at Club Ra at the Luxor. Shell, Joey and I went to New York, New York for some games and gambling since I was still really sick and wasn’t up for partying. I forgot my driver’s license at the hotel (dammit, again?!?) so we went back there, switched cars, and headed back out. Joey treated me and Shell out at this yummy restaurant in Chinatown (thanks, JOEY!). There’s nothing like spicy kung pao chicken to clear my stuffy nostrils. You know you’re in Vegas when a Chinese restaurant is open at 1:30 in the morning. We went to Luxor afterwards to gamble and meet up with everyone. They were all either drunk, exhausted, hungry or a combination of the three. Sheen left with Zeph (who was coincidentally in Vegas at the same time) and we went back to the hotel. Chris kept making me laugh because he is just too damn funny when he’s drunk. We all eventually fell asleep and some woke up the next morning with hangovers, some woke up with an inability to breathe through their left nostril. I was the latter. We had lunch at Ed’s cousin’s house and went back to New York, New York so the others could play games and we could gamble some more. Sheen and Gabe left afterwards, but the rest of us stayed behind to visit the M&M Factory and Coke store (I ♥ COKE!). We took some suggestive pictures with the M&Ms and Ed bought a coke can bank for me to put on my desk at work (thanks, poopoo). We went back to New York, New York afterwards where the boys (sans Joey) had a treatment at the oxygen bar. It was getting late by then, so we headed home around 7:00 p.m. I rode with Joey this time around and couldn’t make it through Willy Wonka without falling asleep. I didn’t even get to see any oompa loompas. We stopped in Barstow to eat at In-N-Out before making our way to Fullerton to drop off my sister and go home to San Diego. Nothing but GOOD TIMES 🙂 This is our third trip to Vegas… Any ideas for our next vacation???

By this time tomorrow, I’ll be in Sin City. Do I sound too much like a tourist? Is that like calling New York the Big Apple? Or Chicago the Windy City? Or the San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant the Dolly Parton Monument? This is the worst time for me to be vacationing because a) I’m SICK and b) I’m in the middle of a menstrual nightmare. It was Sharon’s first day back at work today and I was slightly peeved that they moved her desk far, far away from me. Purposely? Perhaps. It just sucks that NO ONE sits around my cubicle, leaving me to talk to myself like a crazy person (One time, I was in Ed’s bed and he went downstairs and I was thinking to myself, but talking out loud, and this went on for like… five minutes… then I look over at the doorway and Ed’s sitting at the top of the stairs just staring at me and trying to contain his laughter… I felt so retarded!). Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, I got my paycheck at the end of my shift and it was half the size it was supposed to be. Red Envelope somehow forgot to pay me for two of the four days I worked last week. I was really counting on this paycheck to fund my Vegas trip this weekend, too. I was on the phone with Ed and I was just so upset and he was just trying to make me feel better. I don’t like people paying for me. I don’t know. I’m just not used to it. It’s not a pride thing. It just makes me uncomfortable, even if it is my own boyfriend. While I’m on the phone with him, my sister drops a BOMB on me via text messaging: “I’m not going to Vegas.” I get off the phone with Ed and call her ass in Fullerton and she knows that I’m already upset from this f*cked up day that I’ve had, but she has two midterms on Monday and I know how much of a school nerd she is… so I let it go… She calls me half an hour later and tells me that she’s GOING to Vegas now, because she knows that I’ve had a shitty day and this would make me happy. Indeed. She’s the BEST! I unsuccessfully looked for a costume after work (since everyone going to Vegas seems to have a costume all of a sudden!), then went home and was surprised with a visit from Jay and Leah. They wanted me to go out with them for some drinks, but I was just pooped from work and being sick and driving around all day. I’ll take a raincheck, guys! We definitely need to hang out more, Leah… Shell called me afterwards and we talked for like an hour about the insanity that is her MOTHER. I wish I had better words to comfort you, but my mom is normal so I can’t really relate. Haha. This will probably be my last entry before I go to Vegas. I’ll be gone till November! HEHE. I hope all you kids have a safe Halloween 🙂

I’m at work. It’s freaking RAINING (about five days too late). Usually, I LOVE the rain. I love wearing warm clothes and snuggling up with Edgar (Just kidding. We don’t do that shit. LOL)… but I don’t love driving in the rain (I’m a bad enough driver on dry roads)… and I don’t love being sick while it’s raining. I took a phone order from some guy name Jose from Orange, CA and he said I had the “cutest voice ever!” Probably because I’m sick and I sound like a nasal 4-year-old today. I would’ve stayed home from work, but I need the money. I turned my cell phone off, because I don’t really feel like talking to anyone. I just have a case of the blahs. Shoot me an e-mail or send me a note on my chatterbox if you need to. I’ll be on the computer at work the whole day.

I just checked my work E-mail and found a nice little surprise in my mailbox:

From: Carlos Ramon
Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2003 2:35 PM
To: Red-San Diego
Subject: Thank you, Marion!!!

Marion took a phone order yesterday from a customer that was so impressed with her that she asked to speak to a supervisor to let us know just how wonderful a job Marion was doing. She said, “She’s fabulous…she was really wonderful, really helpful, really smart, easy to talk to….” Wow!!! Great job, Marion! We all really appreciate it!

YAYE ME. It feels nice to be appreciated (especially after my horrid day at work last week). Anyway, school in SD is cancelled for the rest of the week (which doesn’t really apply to me since I only have classes Monday/Wednesday). Four days have passed and the fires are STILL burning. Unbelievable. You know how the fire started in the first place? Some idiot-hunter-guy was lost, so he made a smoke signal so he could be saved. Someone should’ve told this idiot-hunter-guy that there’s a high enough risk of brushfires during SANTA ANA weather without him starting a brushfire of his own (for those of you non-southern-Californians, Santa Ana weather consists of really strong, really warm, really dry winds). By saving himself, he killed over a dozen people, burned down over 1,500 homes, and closed down schools for an entire week. I remember a few years back when a fire broke out in Alpine because some moron threw their cigarette out of their car window and trapped the East County residents in their homes because the only freeway out of there was on fire. I didn’t think it could get any worse than that. Today, Arlene told us that her close friend’s body was found yesterday burned so badly that the only way they could identify the body was through his dental records. What kind of f*cked up shit is that? Who gets punished for these deaths? These lost homes? I can tell you who ISN’T getting punished! The idiot-hunter-guy! It’s just like that old grandpa who mowed down all those people at a farmer’s market in Santa Monica with his car. He killed 8 people (including a baby) and no charges were pressed against him because he was old. These past few days, all I kept thinking about was how much nature favored disorder, come to find out today that all of these horrible things happened because some guy got lost in the woods. I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but recent events are diminishing any faith I have left in that belief. I may not be the most religious girl in America, but my prayers go out to all those affected… Today, I spent the entire day with Bedhead Ed. We picked up Arlene and Zell from the airport (welcome home!!!), spent some time at their house, (window) shopped for snowboarding gear, and had dinner at Pat & Oscar’s (thanks, poopoo). We got into a microscopic fight before I left his house, but it all seems so trivial now that I’m watching the news and people are crying in front of what used to be their homes.

San Diego’s still up in flames, so I have no class tomorrow AGAIN. Geez. I feel weird going about my business like everything’s fine. People lost their houses. They lost their cars. They lost everything they owned. They lost their loved ones. I haven’t lost anything but the luxury of breathing clean air. Luckily, nothing has happened to anyone I know yet… I’m glad I’m going out of town this weekend. The ash outside is killing me. In elementary school, I always envied the kids in other cities that had “snow days” and got to stay home from school. Snow days were unheard of in SD. Now we’re going on our third snow day this week, but it’s snowing ashes instead of pretty snowflakes. Gah! Right now I’m at work and I’m cursing myself for wearing a skirt today. I’m freezing! It was DAMN hot yesterday and I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt. I’m all backwards. My critical thinking skills are deteriorating. Blame it on not having to attend school for a week. An hour and a half till I’m off work… I just want to snuggle up on the couch and watch my WB shows 🙂

I had a DAMN good weekend, but I feel bad talking about how much fun I had, because there’s brushfires raging all over San Diego. The air smells like campfire, the skies are brown and the streets of SD look like one big ashtray. I was supposed to go to Desiree’s baby shower today, but she lives in Scripps Ranch and they had to evacuate their homes there. Over 200 houses have burned down and the fires just keep spreading… They closed all but a few freeways. Barely anyone has work or school tomorrow, because either their work burned down or the freeways will still be closed or their houses burned down… The closest fire to me is maybe 20 minutes away, so Spring Valley hasn’t been forced to evacuate their homes. It’s a scary thought. What would I take with me? My 7-year-old cousin, Aimee, had to evacuate her home and the first thing she grabbed was her hamster. I would probably take my photos and letters… they can’t be replaced. Everything else is either replaceable or unimportant. I hope that everyone’s houses are okay… Yesterday, we celebrated Chris’ 22nd birthday. I had SOOO much fun. It’s always fun to kick it with people you knew from back in the day. We all went to Rock Bottom for some dinner and dancing. Chris and my sister were SO f*cked up. Chris is a funny drunk. My sister lets loose when she drinks the Grey Goose! Haha. I’m glad Sheenie came along, because no one gets down on the dance floor like she does! We all chilled at Yardhouse afterwards before heading home. I was DD because I would much rather have everyone have a good time drunk than me. I can have fun without the alcohol (but it’s so much FUNNER *with* the alcohol! Ha). At least I’ll remember what I did the next day (unlike Chris who was driving home from PB and ended up waking up in front of someone’s house in El Cajon!). A good time was had by all. We’re gonna have MORE good times when we go to Vegas this weekend for Halloween! It’s also PAYDAY on Friday. I can’t wait… Last Friday, I had a pretty HORRIBLE day at work… I don’t want to think about it, so I’ll just move on… My sister came down from Fullerton, so we watched “School of Rock” with Ed. It was funny. I like pretty much any movie with kids in it (except “Children of the Corn”). Throw Jack Black in there and you’ve got a winner. On Thursday, I watched Liza on “ER” (she’s the Filipina nurse who kept saying, “Yes, doctor” and “Diniguan” in the ugliest fobulous accent haha. She doesn’t even have an accent in real life which makes it even funnier!). I remember back in the day I was watching “My So-Called Life” and I saw her in one of the bathroom scenes! I was SO into Claire Danes at the time, and I couldn’t believe she got to work with her. Then I saw Liza on an episode of “Gilmore Girls” and I was SHOCKED. “Gilmore Girls” is my *favorite* TV show. If she gets to be on “Will & Grace,” I WILL DIE! Haha. I really look up to her for making it this far. Who knew she’d go from singing at family parties to acting on prime time TV?

Today was my first day back at work. I didn’t fall asleep last night until three in the morning, and I had to wake up at six to get ready. I felt like I was in high school again, because it’s been that long since I’ve had to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and shower. I hate the 8 o’clock shift, because I have to leave an hour early due to a.m. traffic. SUCKIES. Oh well. It’s only for refresher training anyways. My availability will be from 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. so I don’t have to get up too early or get out too late. It feels like I never left Red Envelope. I still remember how to do everything. Some things have changed around a little (some supervisors quit… some people got promoted to supervisors… some desks were moved around)… but all in all it still feels the same. It even SMELLS the same. Isn’t it weird how places have their own unique smell? Like friends’ houses… or TARGET. Every target smells the same. I always wondered if they had some kind of Target air freshener so my house could smell like Target, too… After work, I had lunch with Ed at L&L’s (YUM), then I went home and had a hard time staying awake. I fell asleep around 3 o’clock, didn’t wake up till about an hour ago, and now I have a massive headache. Chel, Sheenie, Joey and Shell… Sorry I missed your calls. I was taking an extended nap! I don’t want to bother you guys so late, so give me a call tomorrow if you need to. I have classes all day and work in between, so you’re gonna have to catch me. HMM. Just leave a message and I’ll get back to you somehow… (Never mind, Chel, I just got off the phone with you! Hang in there… “Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.”) I just heard that they did a study on bowls of breathmints that restaurants provide, and people who use the restroom and don’t wash their hands after urinating stick their filthy germ-infested fingers into the bowl and take breathmints. Traces of urine were found on the mints, so you’re basically sucking on URINE mints… and it’s not YOUR urine, either. Your pee, someone else’s pee… It’s gross no matter what. I’m like the GERMaphobic QUEEN so you won’t see me taking any after dinner mints at restaurants anymore. BLEH. Wash your hands, you filthy mcnasties!

Last night we celebrated Raechel’s 22nd birthday. She was stressing out because she was worried that no one was having a good time, but she stopped worrying after the girls bought her a round of drinks haha. We ate dinner at her house in PQ first (Pat & Oscar’s! No one touched the salad, though. We didn’t want to DIE). We played pin the tail on the donkey for a lovely CASH PRIZE. In the end, it was between me and Daniel, so we had to do rock, paper, scissors for it. Haha. I lost of course (I’m not athletic). Oh well, he deserved it since he came all the way down from the LBC. We had some pre-fade action at Chel’s house with Chambord Sours and Courvoisier shots. I half expected Busta Rhymes to show up. Courvoisier is NASTY. I’ll stick to b*tch drinks, THANKSSSS. We hit up PB Bar & Grill afterwards. I only had one drink there. For some reason, I wasn’t up for partying last night. I just wanted to chill. The girls had a LOT to drink and they hit up the dance floor, but I stayed with Ed on the patio. He was tired from work and his allergies were acting up because everyone around us was smoking. He’s always tired because he works too much, and he always has allergies because if it isn’t his pops smoking at home, it’s someone else smoking wherever else we’re at. Poor kid. When we left PB, it was almost closing time and Chel’s boyfriend, Antho, was passed out in the patio… “Beer before liquor makes you sick quicker.” You said it, Antho. Haha. My sister and I stayed up till 4:30 in the morning watching the season one DVD of Will & Grace. That shit is HILARIOUS. My sister woke me up butt-early in the morning. She talked to the girls and found out that Roxy hooked up with some guy (already? HEHE)… and there was some DRAMA after we left… Chel, don’t stress okay 🙂 Do what makes you happy. On Friday, we all went to TGI Fridays for Bobet’s 23rd birthday. Ed and I went to Meehchelle’s house afterwards and watched BOONDOCK SAINTS, my new favorite movie. I had a pretty chill weekend. Right now I’m at Ed’s house and he’s sleeping. This scenario seems all too familiar… SOMEONE’S a workaholic. I start working again on Tuesday, so I won’t be updating this site as often… Who am I kidding? I’m on the internet at work so you KNOW I’m gonna be on this shit everyday!

Last night I had a craving for chocolate parfait nips haha. Normally, I’d go to Albertson’s to pick some up, but I wanted to avoid the 50+ grocery strikers picketing in front of the supermarket near my house. Just driving through the crowd was hard. I was at a stop sign in the parking lot and one of the strikers (some teenager) stood in front of my car holding his sign and started FREAKING my car for a good minute. I was like.. UHH. HI. PLEASE STOP DANCING WITH MY CAR SO I CAN GET SOME GODDAMN NIPS! Haha. I went to Rite Aid instead. If he was doing this to my CAR, who knew what this kid would try to do to me if I got OUT of the car haha. I haven’t been to the grocery store since the strike started… Hey! I’m EMPLOYED again. I didn’t work all summer since I’m not allowed to gross that much money (so I can get tuition assistance). I haven’t worked since JUNE. Geez… I don’t think I remember how to work. Customers? What are those? Ha. Of course I’ll remember that shit. I’ve been there for like two years. I get to work with Sharon again! YAYE! I miss that crazy girl. Too bad Kit got another job working for Chinaberry (you know you wanna work at Red Envelope with me again!). I’m gonna be so busy working and going to school full-time. I like being busy, though. I hate having too much time on my hands. I became SUPER lazy over the summer… Today, I just did my laundry and vegged at home. Tomorrow Ed is going to install the new deck he bought me! No more wack ass deck and CD changer that only works when it feels like it. Haha. This is what Ed told me when he gave me that ghetto CD changer: “Hey, this was TOP OF THE LINE… ten years ago!” LOL. The new deck doesn’t have a CD changer, but at least I won’t have to worry about not putting a CD in the #1 slot because the #1 button on the deck doesn’t work… or not putting a CD in the #5 slot because if it plays, it’ll get stuck… and not being able to see what track number is playing since the backlight stopped working… and so on and so forth haha. Thanks, buttface. 😉

I got a B f*ckin MINUS on my graphic design project. WTF. Mine was voted one of the TOP 3 designs in the class and I got a B f*ckin minus. I worked so damn hard on that stupid logo, too. My teacher told me that I have a “fantastic designing style” but she didn’t like how I didn’t incorporate the beach “vibe” as she had suggested (since it’s a burger joint at the BEACH). She didn’t like how I barely changed the logo from the original design I drafted. It’s not my fault that it doesn’t take me 50 billion tries to make a damn good logo! When our logos got critiqued, my classmate Josette said that she wouldn’t change a thing on my logo. Nobody gave me any negative criticism, and I was happy with the way it looked. My teacher says that I can do better. WTF. I know she’s saying that I’m not working up to my full potential. Some people had some really crappy logos, and just because they submitted x amount of different layouts, they got A’s on their projects. That’s bullshit! They all got suggestions from other classmates on how they could improve their logo, but they didn’t tell me to change anything on mine. What else could I have incorporated into that logo? PLEASE INFORM ME, MRS. GRAPHIC DESIGN EXPERT! There was no set amount of layouts we were supposed to turn in, so I think I was unfairly docked a shitload of points! After I got my packet back and saw my grade, I was in a pretty crummy mood. I gave my teacher the old stink eye throughout the remainder of the class, but I doubt she noticed. She was too preoccupied plotting to fail me.

My sleeping pattern resembles that of a graveyard shift employee… except I don’t work the graveyard shift. I don’t work PERIOD. I can’t sleep at a decent hour, because I wake up so late in the afternoon. The only time I wake up before noon is when I’m FORCED to (i.e. on Mondays and Wednesdays because I have school). Otherwise, I sleep no earlier than three in the morning, and I wake up around one, two, or three in the afternoon. At first I thought it was insomnia… but insomnia is characterized as an inability to sleep. I don’t have trouble sleeping. Once I fall asleep, I stay asleep for like ten hours. It’s falling asleep that I have a problem with… and it’s because I wake up hella late… and I wake up hella late because I sleep hella late… it’s a vicious cycle. I wake up around 7:30 on school days. Sheena told me that I should set my alarm to wake up at 7:30 (JED time!) every morning (no matter what time I end up falling asleep), so I’ll get used to getting up early on a regular basis. I told her she’s smoking crack if she thinks I’m gonna wake up that early when I don’t have to… but I suppose it’ll help me go back to a semi-normal sleeping pattern so I’ll try it… but if you see up that early on a non-school day and I’m one cranky b*tch, then you know who to blame 🙂 Anyway, let me tell you about my weekend. As all of you Sh*tular (a.k.a Cingular) customers are aware of, Sh*tular’s service was down the entire second half of Saturday. WACK. We couldn’t receive/make outgoing calls or send/receive text messages. I needed to contact Michelle and Edgar, because we were supposed to go to the Tsunami Bomb show that night. Unfortunately, we ALL have Sh*tular so we couldn’t get a hold of each other. Ed was at work and I didn’t know Michelle’s new house number since she moved down south. It was less than half an hour till the show was supposed to start and Michelle had all of our tickets and Ed wasn’t home yet. Luckily, I was still at home when Michelle called and we finally arranged to meet up and take one car. You don’t realize how much you depend on your cell phone until your provider decides to screw you in the butt and take away your night and weekend minutes. EAT MY BUTT, CINGULAR. I want to switch services. I’ve had this service provider for too damn long… since my Allstate days! Damn… At least three years now. Please help me decide which company to switch to by participating in my random poll at the bottom of this page. Thanks! Anyway, the Tsunami Bomb show was the shizneeto BAM. I want to *be* Agent M. They didn’t perform two of my faves (“Lemonade” and “Mushy Love Song”), but they ROCKED nonetheless. During their FIRST song, some kid chucked his FULL bottled water onto the stage and hit Agent M in the head! She took it like a champ, though. Geez. Rude ass motherf*ckers. If I were Tsunami Bomb, I’d stop after the song and say, “I hope you kids enjoyed the show because it’s OVER, punks!” This dope band called Strike Anywhere opened for them. If you like Rage Against the Machine, you should definitely check them out. It was my first show at Soma and I’m not too fond of that venue. I’d much rather see a show at Canes. Soma is like a warehouse. There’s no ventilation. The sound quality ranges from alright to poor… especially with the loud punk bands. I lost the hearing in my right ear the whole night. It’s really, really, really LOUD, but you can barely make out what the people are singing or saying, especially if you don’t know the lyrics to their song. It was just a deafening experience. Back to the no ventilation, there were SMELLY kids there. I just tried to make it through the show without passing out from the pubescent fumes. This teenage couple in front of me proceeded to swap spit during most of the show. If it wasn’t the deodorant-free kids that were making me nauseous, it was that couple. I’ll admit, I had my fair share of public make out sessions when I was sixteen, but five years later, that shit only happens behind closed doors. At Soma, there was this HUGE mosh pit… HUGE. I’ve never seen one so big before at any venue I’ve been to. At one point this crowd next to us was shoving us to the side and Ed was getting PISSED. LOL. This guy in particular wouldn’t quit bumping into us, so Ed grabbed him by the neck and we remained untouched for the rest of the show haha. The next show I’m going to is the Saves the Day / Taking Back Sunday show at SOMA again… not happy about the venue, but VERY happy about the bands. It should be mellow yellow, so I doubt we’ll have mosh pit or sound problems. Damn, THREE shows in ONE month? Bedhead Ed is really aiming to please 🙂 Today, he bought me Panda Express and Jamba Juice, so I went to his house instead of vegging at home like I had originally planned. Vu, Tuan, Jay and Beejaye were kickin it there and Sheenie came by later so I could straighten her hair. We just chilled till around midnight, then I headed home. It’s now five in the morning… looks like I won’t be sleeping till after school.

Navy Exchange. Jamba Juice. Homework. Hot pockets. Nap. These are the things my Friday consisted of. This cashier at Grossmont’s Jamba Juice whose name tag read “AsHLeY G” looked EXACTLY like Lizzie McGuire’s best friend with the bangs and everything. I would have taken a picture of her so I could show you guys, but I didn’t want her to think I was a LOSER for knowing what Lizzie McGuire’s best friend looks like. Haha. I noticed her when I first walked in, but Ed pointed it out because he’s apparently an avid fan of Hilary Duff. Ed went to TJ with his Audio Excellence boyfriends (I live less than half an hour away from TJ, and I’ve never been there, nor have I ever had the desire to go there… no matter how appealing they made it look on The O.C.). Sheen went to a BAR (I knew it! Haha). Jay and Beejaye watched a movie. My sister didn’t come down to SD this weekend. It was a lazy day. I just went online and talked to Meehchelle about the Tsunami Bomb show we’re going to tomorrow (f*ck yeah!). She wants to be up front at the show, but I’m a little weary about that. I got THRASHED at the Hoobastank concert when I was up front. I don’t think the Tsunami Bomb fans are quite as rowdy, but we’ll see. I don’t want to get dry humped again. Meehchelle cracks me up! We were talking about how Cursor (or Happy Hour as they once were called) is a “tribute” band, if you will. I heard that they have a show coming up at Soma. I remember watching them perform back in the day at SAMAHAN! Hahaha. All I remembered was that they covered Third Eye Blind songs. Doot-doot-doot. Doot-doo-doot-doo. We were talking about how WE could be in a “tribute” band if we wanted to. I’m so down to go to a karaoke bar and sing in front of strangers. I need some liquid courage, though! Haha. Buy me some Chambord and I’ll be good to go! I’m excited about CHEL’S birthday bash next weekend. I miss those girls. It’s always nice to be around the people you grew up with… Hmm what did I do yesterday? Sheen and I drove around the coast for a while just “following the moon.” That’s what we do when we don’t know where to go, but we don’t want to go home. We ate at CONCHING’S because we were both craving some good old Filipino food. We went back to her house and baked some chocolate chip cookies. I’ve never baked anything from scratch before and now I know why. It’s so much easier to buy the pre-packaged pre-cut frozen Pillsbury cookies than measure ingredients and BLEND things together haha. I got batter all over me and Sheen kept making fun of my ass. We were missing eggs so we had to go to AM/PM and buy some. Sheen made me drive back to her house in her car (to my horror!). Even though I know how to drive a stick-shift (thanks to Gerald), I’m DEATHLY afraid of driving a stick-shift. I can’t relax. I panic. I have an anxiety attack. I’m afraid I’ll crash their car. Or kill someone because I forgot how to stop the car. I barely pause at stop signs, because I’m scared the car will stall on me and the people behind me will honk at me and point at me and laugh at me and I’ll cry and I won’t be able to see the road because my glasses will be fogged up. We got back to her house in one piece, though. I may have burned her clutch a little. Ha. We watched the special edition Lion King movie that Jigga Jay gave her for her birthday and searched for the overrated “SEX” scene where adult Simba plops down on a cliff and the leaves and dust particles float into the air and supposedly spell out “SEX.” “Supposedly” is right. We paused that shit and could barely make out the ALLEGED word. Sheen thought her DVD was broken, because the games were f*cking up on her when she tried to play them the other day, but I played them and they worked. I think Sheen’s head is broken. LOL. That always seems to happen… Something keeps f*cking up on you, and when you tell other people or try to get it fixed, it works all of a sudden. Maybe inanimate objects have a mind of their own.

Yesterday we celebrated Sheenie’s 21st birthday! Finally. I’ve been waiting almost a year for this girl to turn 21 haha. Sheena, Ed, Jay, Gerald, Shell, Jose, Sandy, Brad, Jeni, Sheen’s mom and I ate at T.G.I. Fridays, and then we headed over to P.B. Bar & Grill. I’ve only been there on Thursdays, so there was definitely a different crowd there (like 99.9% white people… ain’t no thang! Sheen’s half Irish. Haha). Shell, Jay, Ed and I got there earlier than the rest of them, so we decided to hit up the dance floor, and Jay busted some moves I’ve never seen before HAHA. There was this Greekish/Chaldean/Mexican-looking guy who was dancing all craaaazy by himself on the top level. At first, people were cheering him on… then people just started making fun of him. It was sad, really. I felt sorry for him. He was in his mid-to-late thirties, went to a club by himself, got ridiculed by youngsters and probably went home to his empty apartment and stray cats. I introduced Shell to the wonders of the CHAMBORD SOUR and I had a few myself. I would have had one or two or SIX more, but all I had left over from dinner was $10. BOO. Ed’s always telling me to slow down. I can’t help but chug those drinks when they taste like Kool Aid (and I ♥ Kool Aid!). Damn, you have to be a baller to get faded on b*tch drinks when they’re $6 each, and you need at least five to f*ck you up. That’s why we should have some pre-fade action BEFORE going clubbin! There’s nothing wrong with drinking at home. Haha. I finally found Sheen after half an hour and she had two Coronas in her hand. This girl drinks beer and belches louder than any guy I know. Like Ed said, “All hell will break loose now that she’s 21.” I won’t have to call her to see where she’s at, because I’ll already know that she’s getting wasted at some bar. I don’t have the money for that kind of lifestyle, but I’ll be your designated driver if you need me, girl! You’re probably a better driver drunk than I am sober, though. HEHE. Anyone will tell you that! Someone PLEASE take her cell phone away so she doesn’t make anymore drunken phone calls to me at two in the morning! Ha.

Anyway, we left PB around midnight and I was disturbed by something someone told me… pretty upset actually. I’ve given it time to digest, so I’m over it now. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong. I don’t use this site as an agent for shit talking. I censor myself A LOT on here. There are many times that I’m hella bothered by certain issues, but I won’t talk about them on here, because I know that a lot of the people who I know personally read this. I know some things that I post will piss off my friends, so some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes I write things clearly out of anger and frustration, and I hope people don’t let these irrational, psychotic moments define me as a person… (especially when I’m talking about relationship issues. Geez. Everyone has drama with their significant other). This is the place where I vent. This is the place where I get it all out so I’m not crying from the frustration of it all. This is MY release. Sometimes the fine line between venting and airing my dirty laundry becomes indistinct. That may bother some people, so I’ll be a little bit more selective about what I post on here, because who knows who’s really reading this shit?

Another Monday. Another loooong day at school. I had a pretty kick back weekend after Roxy’s birthday shindig on Friday. On Saturday, I just stayed home with my family, did my sister’s laundry since she always helps me out and caught up on some homework. My sister and I went to Grossmont for some refreshments that night. I was about to cry, because Jamba Juice’s seasonal Pineappalooza was no longer in season! They replaced it with some Bluetopia shit. I asked the girl if she could still make it, and she did. Cool beans. I almost shed a tear. We went to Ed’s house afterwards to eat dinner since Shell and Joey brought the puppies down. Ed was only there for a little bit since he was helping his Audio Excellence boyfriends prepare the cars at Kenny’s house for the (wacktabulous) show on Sunday. My sister and I just vegged out on Sunday. I finally got the energy to take a shower around 5 o’clock. I decided to stop by the show for a little bit, then go home and go out to dinner with my family for my dad’s birthday. By the time I got to the show, they weren’t selling tickets anymore, and Ed couldn’t get me in because they didn’t have wristbands. I was furious. If there’s anything I hate, it’s wasting gas. I drove all the way down south just to turn around and drive home. Wack. Ed and I got into this HUGE argument on the phone, because I was mad that he didn’t call me to tell me that I couldn’t get in for free, because if I knew that, I *never* would have gone. I’m not gonna pay to see Ed’s car. Kenny’s car. The twins’ car. I see those cars everyday for free. Then he was getting mad because I was getting mad. He wasn’t sure if I was coming since it was getting late already, so he didn’t call. It was just STUPID. My sister called me on my way home and calmed me down a bit. Then I talked to Ed again after that and we were cool again. Ha. It was dumb. Sorry I’ve been so moody, POOPOO. I can never stay mad at Ed. He’s my weakness. I don’t know what it is about him. He’s my special Ed. I love him almost as much as I love sandwiches. ALMOST. This morning between classes, Ed and I went to drop off a baking pan at his grandma’s house and no one was there to receive it. Then we went Costco to pick up some film and it had already been picked up by his parents. What’s going on? We ate some COSTCO pizza (yeah, baby!) and then I went back to school and he went to work. Now I’m home waiting for my next class with absolutely nothing to do… except burn Jay’s CDs… work on The SpecialGuest site… and eat my chicken noodle soup that’s been sitting in the microwave since I got home from school… two hours ago.

I wish I had a camera last night! We went out for Roxy’s birthday and I had SO much fun! I went to The Strip Club downtown for dinner with Shi, Rox, Chel, Antho, Kristine, Edward, Glenn and their friends Eileen and Ginger. That place is f*ckin COOL. It’s a steakhouse where you cook your own steak on the grills that they have set up around the restaurant. Too yummy. Afterwards, we hit up Martini Ranch to get our fade on and shake our butts. I only had one drink, because I had to drive since my sister was getting f*cked up all night on Chambord Sours haha. That drink is DAMN GOOD (thanks, Shi!). Ed met us up at Martini since he went to Buca di Beppo for Q’s dinner (happy birthday, Gerald!). It was definitely a different crowd, since I’ve really only been clubbin in PB. They were playing hip hop when we got there, but soon they went to ooooold school rap and then TECHNO and I *hate* techno music (as you can see in my hate list). Antho showed us his moves and I couldn’t stop laughing. We chilled outside and just caught up with each other’s lives. Chel, Rox, Shi, and my sister are my GIRLS, dude. It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out and it felt like no time had passed since we had last seen each other. Shi and Chel are CRAZY! Ed was like, “Whooooaa, take it down a notch!” Haha. Now he sees where I get my loudness from… and you call *me* “mega?” You obviously haven’t met the Tejidor girls haha. They’re crazy without the alcohol. I’m skerd to see them drunk off their asses! Roxy decided to go to the Rox afterwards, but the rest of us were partied out. We all went our separate ways, and my sister, Ed and I decided to hit up D&B’s for Q’s after-dinner thing. It was almost closing time once we got there, so we just chilled at the bar for a little bit. I met DRUNK ASS GRACE for the first time haha. She’s cool beans. My sister, Beejaye and I went to Jay’s house afterwards and we just talked about STUPID GIRLS (don’t worry about *HER* Beejaye!) and watched the food channel HEHE. A good time was had by all. I love hanging out with old friends 🙂 Oh, I forgot to write about Thursday. We just went to Olive Garden near the Sports Arena for Joey’s birthday. Our waitress, Rose, was the shit. ROSE, YOU ROCK!!! (as if she’ll ever read this, but I’ll still give her props).

Last night I went to the ROONEY show at Canes with Bedhead Ed and had an awesome time! I’ve wanted to see them live for a while now. I missed them at both Lollapalooza and X-Fest. We went in through the 21+ entrance and there was barely anyone there since it was a 16+ show. I started to freak out because ROONEY was sitting in a booth eating dinner. Edgar and I hung out for a while to see if I could work up the nerve to go talk to them, but I was scared and I didn’t want to bother them while they were eating. We sat on the top level where the stairs are so we would have a better view and could take good pictures. We’ve seen shows at Canes before, so we learned that upstairs is the best place to be. Downstairs, your view might be obstructed by some freakishly tall person or some beezie sitting on the ledge in front of you with her chones peeking out of her Forever 21 jeans (remember HER, Rowell? Haha). Palo Alto performed first. The lead singer had an *amazing* voice. He kinda sounded like Bono. The Sounds were next and they had SO much energy. They’re a female-fronted European new wave punk band. ROONEY came on last and they were FUCKING AWESOME! Robert Carmine has tons of energy, too. Their sound is old school like the Beatles and that’s why I like them so much. I can’t wait to see Tsunami Bomb next at Soma 🙂

I feel SO much better. After venting, I went to my graphic design class and had a huge smile on my face because we critiqued our logos today. Everyone thought mine was fucking awesome! There were some REALLY horrible ones, though. We had to pick any local place that isn’t a nationwide chain and create a logo for them. I chose Hodads (a YUMMY burger joint in Ocean Beach). Arlene introduced me to the wonder that is Hodads last year, and Sheen and I go whenever we want some good eats and huge chocolate malts! After school, I was stuck behind this Forerunner the entire drive home and he left his blinker on THE ENTIRE DRIVE HOME. I was so irritated by that little blinking light. I didn’t even notice Jay and Rome driving behind me and we take the same route home! Ha, ha. He called me when he got home because he had read my previous entry. He was like, “Hey, Mayan, are you okay?” and I was like, “Yeah, I’m good,” and he was like, “NO YOU’RE NOT. I SAW YOUR WEBSITE!” Ha, ha. Even though I was really okay by then, his concern for me made me feel pretty good. A few hours later, Jake calls me out of no where to tell me that he saw my senior page in the yearbook for the first time the other day (from over three years ago!) and he thought it was really cool that I put his and Jessica’s pictures in there. Of course I did! Gotta include all the homies, YO. I get sad looking at all those pictures from high school. I always knew I would look back on the tears and laugh, but I never thought I’d look back on the laughs and cry. It’s very true. You don’t realize how good your life is until it’s all gone to shit. I miss my high school friends. We all lead such different lives now. It’s been forever since I’ve seen a lot of them, but I know once we hang out it’ll feel just like old times… and that feels pretty damn good. Change is the devil. I wish some things would stay the same forever… I have TONS of things to look forward to… ROONEY with Ed tomorrow, Joey’s birthday on Thursday, dinner and clubbin’ for Roxy’s birthday on Friday, Ed’s first show on Sunday, Sheen’s birthday next Tuesday, my dad’s birthday next Wednesday… I could go on and on and on. But I won’t. Because I’m sleepy. I’ll let you know how Rooney sounds live next time 🙂

Yesterday, Nikko and Jessica came down from Carson. Ed was gonna tint Nikko’s windows and install his audio shit. Even when my boyfriend has a day off from work (he’s an installer at Audio Excellence), he’s STILL working on cars. Cars, cars, cars. BLEH. It drives me crazy sometimes… makes me want to hammer a nail into my head. I don’t really share his interest in cars. Sure, I’ll go with him to the car shows (especially if he’s in it). I’ll go with him to Qualcomm or Carlsbad when his friends are racing. I’ll go with him all the way up near Santa Barbara to go to Bimmerfest. I’ll go with him to the drift shows in L.A… I just enjoy being with him. I don’t know what it is. I just feel better when he’s near me. Sheen, Jay and I ended up going to La Jolla to visit Sheryll and buy some goodies for our hair from Joey’s salon. I used them today and might I add that my hair looks fabulous right now. Ha, ha. It’s shiny like a pony. We went to Joey’s house afterwards and ate sloppy joes. Mmmmm. We saw Sheryll’s new doggie, Winnie. She’s a mini dachshund and is soooo cute and sooo small. She’s munchkin’s new lady friend and they plan on breeding them in a year or two. I think my sister’s gonna get one of their babies. I would much rather have a bulldog, but it would be cool to have a little wiener dog running around, too. Gerald and Ed met up with us later and I guess they were both exhausted because they fell asleep at Joey’s. So much for hanging out. Right now I’m waiting for Sheen to be done getting her pedicure. I gave myself a pedicure earlier today and it was about damn time. We were gonna hit up Bonita Fest, but Ed works on the street the festival/parade was on and he said it was wacktabulous. I don’t know what we’re gonna do yet, but hopefully it involves alcoholic beverages.

I’m on my funky three hour break between classes right now. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been to school. I missed the last two days because I’ve been sick. I’m STILL sick. But I only have classes two days a week, so missing two classes is missing a lot… so I went to class today and spread my germs all over Grossmont and Cuyamaca. I’m trying to download a song off of Kazaa so I can make a ringtone for my pal, Zee, but my MOM is downloading like TEN freakin songs (on our slowpoke 56k modem!). Who taught her how to use this thing? Ha. She downloads all these songs and burns CDs and even makes labels for them. I remember the good old days when my dad didn’t even know how to turn on the computer. I don’t think this whole lawsuit deal is freaking my mom out like it should be. She’s the downloading QUEEN. I hope the RIAA isn’t reading this shit. Ha, ha. Anyways, it’s Wednesday and I threw up in the shower again this morning… just like last Wednesday. What’s going on with me throwing up in the shower on Wednesdays? Wack. I *hate* throwing up. I mean, no one LIKES throwing up… but I really hate it. Kinda like I hate strawberry ice cream. BLEH. I don’t think anything’s wrong with me, though (physically I mean. Mentally? Perhaps.). I asked Edgar if he thought I had pneumonia. Usually when I’m sick, I have a stuffy nose and itchy throat. I hardly ever have coughing fits. This time I don’t have a stuffy nose or an itchy throat. I just have this constant headache and I’m coughing up mountains of phlegm (GROSS!). The common symptoms of pneumonia are a cough with phlegm, fever, chills, chest pain and breathlessness… so Ed doesn’t think I have pneumonia. Sheen thinks I have SARS. Pneumonia can be caused by the inhalation of substances into the lungs such as caustic chemicals, food or VOMIT. This all started when I threw up last Wednesday. HMM. I’ll give it another week before I see a doctor. Maybe I’m just scaring myself. When my cousin was getting her bachelors in public health, she always thought she had the diseases she was studying. This girl cracks me up! She was like… “I think I have AIDS! Look at my tongue… look at the bumps! It’s one of the symptoms!” and she was SERIOUS. She is so crazy. Okay it’s time to go back to school again, so I’ll talk to you freaks later.

Bedhead Ed is SICK. Pobresito… I went to Jamba Juice and got him a Coldbuster to bust his cold. I’ve been sick since last Wednesday and I can’t help but feel a little responsible for making him sick, too. I hope I didn’t make Sheen sick. She’s going to KILL me. Haha. So how was YOUR weekend? Mine was alright. On Friday, I hung out with Jigga Jay man. I was supposed to go to his house and eat cold pizza and make a pizookie, but my ass didn’t wake up till three in the afternoon! Being sick makes me SUPER lazy. I normally wake up by at least TWO when I don’t have class 🙂 We ended up going to Seaport to drop off Charlene’s digicam and some lunch. Lucky ass Jay gets unemployment now, so we decided to hit up Fashion and buy something frivolous… like a trucker hat with our names on it. Ha, ha. He just ended up buying something for his friend’s birthday that night. We eventually parted ways so he could get his groove on at PB Bar & Grill and I could have a movie night with Ed and Meehchelle. We watched “Once Upon a Time in Mexico.” It was alright. I think I would’ve liked “Anything Else” better. Maybe it’s because I never watched “Desperado.” Or maybe it’s because Salma Hayek doesn’t turn me on like she turns on Edgar. On Saturday, I went to a family party in Scripps Ranch. I saw pregnant cousins, alcoholic uncles, loud aunties, and gangster cousins. Ha, ha. I saw this girl, Analyn, that my boyfriend used to jock in high school. I was thinking… What the hell is she doing here? Turns out she goes out with my COUSIN. It amazes me how small this world really is. Especially San Diego. Ed normally doesn’t make appearances at my family parties since he’s always working. That would’ve been weird if he was there. Ed went to E Street that night to see A Tribe Called Quest perform. My sister, Raechel, her boyfriend Antho, and I ended up going downtown, also. We were gonna go to PB Bar & Grill since Antho’s never been, but it was getting hella late so we didn’t feel like partying anymore. We just basically walked around downtown and laughed at all the weird ass dancers you could see through the windows at all the clubs. At one point, Raechel turned to me and said, “I guess the FREAKS come out at night over here.” There were definitely some freakishly weird people downtown. We hit up a two-story Starbucks that we had never been to and relaxed for a little bit. Antho commented on their woven lamp motif while Chel and my sister marveled about how great a place it would be to study at. Leave it to them to think about school on a Saturday night! Ha, ha. Ed and Jay were supposed to hang out with us after watching Tribe, but I guess they stayed afterwards and shook what their mamas gave them ’cause they didn’t leave till four in the morning! Shooooot. I wanted him to meet Antho, too. On Sunday, I ate at Panda Palace with Sheen, Ed and Jay (whatchu know about upside down pan fried noodle?). Ed promised me earlier that week that he’d take me out for Chinese food and he actually came through this time. Ha, ha. We rented “Malibu’s Most Wanted” and “All I Want” and watched it at Ed’s house. “Malibu” was HILARIOUS. “All I Want” was WEIRD, but at least Jay got to see Mandy Moore in her bra and panties (score!). Tomorrow it’s back to school. I’m overjoyed. Really.

The Kabalarian Philosophers’ analysis of my name was eerily accurate! The personality traits they mentioned were so parallel to my own. Here’s what they had to say about me:

“The name of Marion gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature. Because your feelings run deep, you must guard against the ups and downs, being very inspired one minute, then moody, reserved, and depressed the next. Your reactions to people vary according to how you feel. You tend to be secretive and noncommittal about private matters, yet at times you will talk effusively in order to hide your self-consciousness or to lead others away from personal subjects. You are inspired by encouragement from others, yet suspicious of their intent. You crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature.”

Get YOUR name analyzed at kabalarians.com.

Sheenie and I got hit on tonight. Maybe it was because we’re hot mamas, or maybe it was because it was unusually cold out tonight and our headlights were on. Haha. Some old Mexican guy in the booth next to us at In-N-Out tried talking to Sheen. I didn’t even notice. What I DID notice were his wife and son who later joined him. GROSS. Ed was working late again tonight. Big f*ckin surprise. We had nothing better to do, so we drove around the coast. We went to Moo-Time in Coronado and had some chocolate ice cream. YUM. We drove down Silver Strand and ended up in I.B. where we walked down the pier. Sheenie commented on my mega voice again and said I was scaring all the fish away. I couldn’t stop laughing. I can’t help talking loudly when I get excited. There were a grip of kids there and tons of people fishing. These twenty-somethings on lawn chairs asked if we wanted to sit with them. We just looked at each other and kept walking haha. One of the guys was like, “Come on. We’ll keep you warm.” Sheenie’s hard of hearing sometimes and she thought he said, “Fine then, you f*ckin morons.” LOL. Afterwards, we went to Point Loma to try to find the Real World house. After driving up and down and up and down North Harbor Drive, we finally found it. It’s down this long culdesac on the harbor next to a strip of businesses. There was this big security guard in front of the house, so we didn’t drive all the way down the culdesac, but we were just excited to see the house in person. I still can’t believe the house is in Point Loma. It smells like fish and the airport is down the street so you hear nothing but airplanes flying over your house every five minutes. I’m assuming they picked the area because of the sailing. There’s tons of sailboats. That’s all there is to do out there in Point Loma. After we found the house and our nipples were hard enough to cut glass, we drove back to Ed’s house and Sheenie went home. I stayed at Ed’s for a little bit and then went home. Hopefully I’ll have a more exciting day tomorrow.

So my boyfriend has recently been having a shitload of “boys night outs.” The key word here being BOYS… which means girlfriends are not allowed… and as far as I know, my boyfriend is the only one out of his boys with a girlfriend. One would deduce that these “boys night outs” would be sausage central, right? Oddly enough, everytime my boyfriend goes on a “boys night out” he meets a different GIRL… not some random girl that was coincidentally there at the same time, but a girl that was INVITED to this “boys night out” shindig. WTF. I’m friends with some of those boys (*waves* to Beejaye, Jay and Mike). I, too, would like to go to D&B’s and play games and get drunk. I, too, am old enough to go with them to these 21+ scenes. If my boyfriend was having a “boys night out” and they were going to a club, he still wouldn’t invite me, because “it’s supposed to be a ‘boys night out, Mayan.” That’s his excuse for never inviting me… even though it’s a given that some of the guys will invite other girls. My boyfriend is all about meeting new people and making tons of friends and adding new friendsters. I guess he can’t do that with some girl tagging along claiming to be his girlfriend. You should WANT to spend time with your girlfriend. You should WANT to party with them. Isn’t that the point of having a significant other? Wanting to include them in your activities? I know that when I’m having fun without him, I’m thinking, “I wish he was here so he could have fun with me.” I guess I’m the only person with that mentality. He’s one of my top priorities and I feel like I’m not even in his top ten list of priorities. He feels like it’s okay to let me down (because I’m his girlfriend and I should “understand”), but it’s not okay to let down his friends. Everytime we go somewhere it always has to be with other people. We never spend time with just the two of us (being at his house sleeping on his bed while he uses the computer doesn’t count). We don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do with some random friend of yours. I feel like I’m more of a friend with occasional benefits than a girlfriend. Everytime we go somewhere he sees someone he knows. I usually won’t know them, but he doesn’t bother to introduce me. What the hell is going on here? LOL. I’m laughing on the outside, but really, it’s killing me. After over four years of being together, you shouldn’t stop trying to make your girlfriend happy just because you “have” her already. Whenever we see a couple hugging or kissing he’ll be like “that’s because they’re new.” Just because we’re an “old” couple doesn’t mean that you can’t be affectionate anymore. I don’t see his logic. I love him, but he’s really frustrating me right now.

Kudos to MTV for choosing San Diego as the locale for the next Real World! They started filming last month and the season begins airing in January 2004. Any San Diego native would think that the house would be located in one of SD’s hotspots, but NO. It’s in Point fuckin Loma (it’s the old Blue Crab restaurant located at 4922 North Harbor Drive near the airport). MTV could have picked La Jolla or Downtown or Pacific or Mission Beach. They might as well have picked National City. LOL. Sure, it’s waterfront property, but what exactly is there to DO in Point Loma? Go sailing, you say? Funny you should mention that. I heard that their job is to be crew members aboard Dennis Conner’s America’s Cup sail boat, Stars and Stripes. How typically Californian of them… MTV even built them their own private volleyball court and gave them surfboards. What is this? The OC? Haha. Some of the cast members have already gotten themselves into trouble down here! One girl got arrested for scratching and punching some Marine guy at Moondoggies in PB and another cast member got caught trying to use a fake I.D. by a bouncer at a different bar in PB. LAME!

Here’s a fairly accurate description of my mood right now: They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You do it though,and the next day regret it, stating over and over… “this is my last time.” You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something-year-old friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion.