After The Great Fridge Fiasco of 2022, the replacement fridge I received was even smaller than my original one and only came with this tiny ass ice tray.

Pammie gifted me this nugget ice maker on christmas and it’s been a game changer, y’all!

Every morning, I’ve been treating myself to an espresso martini. I just pour this pre-mixed cocktail over freshly made ice (follow me for more recipes lol).

Yes, I know that martinis aren’t usually served on the rocks. Or in a whiskey tumbler. Or at 9am. Just let a bitch live. 

Jingle Juice

3 oz merlot
¾ oz fireball whisky
1 oz orange juice
1 oz pomegranate syrup
6 pineapple tidbits
1 lime (squeeze and drop)
1 orange slice
1 cinnamon stick (for garnish)

Belated birthday post for this supreme slice! We celebrated Chel’s birthday with a backyard pizza party. Are these ovens allowed on apartment balconies in LA??? Asking for a friend.

Cheers to a much needed mini vacay with Pammie and Donna! The last time we vacationed together was three years ago in Kauai, so this trip was long overdue!

On Friday night, we missed our Nobu rooftop res because it took us 45 minutes to be driven 2 miles. Downtown Chicago traffic is no joke, especially during Lollapalooza weekend.

We ended up at Booze Box, a secret bar in the basement of a sushi restaurant. Right when we walked in, this japanese lady pulled open a side gate and led us down some sketchy ass stairwell into the coolest little dive bar ever. The music, drinks and late night maki def hit the spot.

I couldn’t go to Chicago without going on a river boat tour à la My Best Friend’s Wedding (that scene gets me every. damn. time.). While there was no slow dancing or tearful realizations, I honestly was so impressed by the beautiful architecture. The only other time I visited Chicago was over a decade ago for a weekend in the dead of winter. All I remember was that it was St. Paddy’s Day and they dyed the river green. It was too cold to really do anything back then. Even though it rained the day before I arrived this time, the weather was absolute perfection.

Coffee and vodka? Yes, please (@ Starbucks Reserve Roastery)

Later that day…

Donna: Why is my heart racing???
Me: Maybe it was that flight of espresso martinis you downed? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m that friend who only orders california rolls at sushi restaurants.

While Pammie and Donna enjoyed the (mostly raw) tasting menu at Nobu, I feasted on this glorious 28-day dry-aged prime ribeye.

If my A5 wagyu isn’t prepared this dramatically, I don’t want it.

The best thing I ate at Nobu (and possibly my entire life) was this whisky cappuccino dessert. Holy shit, you guys. Once that whisky foam hit my lips, I left my body, floated up to heaven, saw my grandparents, came back down, and finished off the remaining layers of espresso gelato, toasted cinnamon crunch and cardamom cream. Their recipe is posted online, but why go through all that trouble when you could just take me to the Nobu in Malibu??? 😏

Since we all binge-watched The Bear, we wanted to try an authentic italian beef sandwich. One of our uber drivers, Kendrick, told us that the best one was at Clark Street Dog. We could kill two birds with one stone and get a chicago dog there, too. He warned us not to ask for ketchup, as if he knew about that one time I asked for it at a steakhouse and was shamed by my entire table. As he drove us around, he also pointed out where people had been recently shot and what areas to avoid walking at night unless we wanted to get popped! So full of useful information, this guy…

We ordered our food and headed over to the attached bar for picklebacks, mules, and quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth – Jeppson’s Malört. According to our bartender, Evan, it’s a Chicago tradition for out-of-towners to take a shot of what can be accurately described as “rotten grapefruit with the lingering after taste of a tire fire” (among other things). He also suggested we hit up the nearby L&L Tavern where Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy used to troll for victims. Who doesn’t love a good murder bar??? I’ll have to come back when I’m not stuffed with italian beef.

We woke up at the butt crack of dawn to stand in line for an hour before this restaurant opened (sorry for anything I said before I got some cold brew in me 😅). Kasama is the only michelin-starred filipino restaurant in the world, and respect had to be paid.

This trip couldn’t have come at a better time. I got to celebrate an unexpected promotion at work and have a little fun before conference season starts up this week and I’m blacked out for the next couple of months. Excuse me while I cry into my empty Garrett Popcorn tin…

Smoked wing night (@ Maple Block Meat Co.)

Excited to get some italian beef in me next weekend. Any other Chicago recs besides an underground donut tour? 😂

The day I eat a floor burrito is the day I give up on life.

My sister’s husband is convinced that I secretly have a poster of Joey Chestnut in my apartment, and I can’t confirm or deny that.

Red, white and blue (cheese) – I was that asshole at three different grocery stores looking for that slice of heaven that is humboldt fog in the artisanal cheese aisle to complete my board.

Views and ‘cue – two of my favorite things. This private rooftop is a dream.

Not pictured: me almost lighting my hair on fire after some lunatic let me be in charge of the short ribs

Listen, sometimes you have to choose between buying a box of costco king crab legs or paying your rent. Luckily, Pammie bought these babies and afforded me another month in my studio. Ha.

Is it even a party if you don’t stock your wine fridge with white claw???

Alicia got me this icee machine for my birthday a few years ago, and I don’t know why I waited so long to bust it out (besides diabetes and the lack of counter space). I’m pretty sure Shi and I had more icees than the kids did!

Christine came through with the Crumbl cookies!

Added bonus: The rooftop has a clear view of the fireworks from the olympic training center.

I hope everyone’s 4th was as lit as the illegal fireworks we bought on the side of the road!

Thanks to Pammie for hosting the best party ever at her new digs! Same time next year???

Friyay latte (@ Urth Caffe)

Fuck, can I get pregnant from this??? 😳

APL is doing BBQ pop-ups all summer at Strand Brewing Co, and I am here for it.

What time should I be ready? 😜

The only restaurant I’ve been to on this list is Guelaguetza, and I can confirm that you can still hear me over the mariachi band.

I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!

I doordashed dinner tonight and just received someone else’s order (a hazard of contactless delivery). Even though I was hangry as hell, I think we can all agree that the real victim here is Kathleen M., who ordered 8 scoops of ice cream from Handel’s and received my salad and brussels sprouts from Tin Roof Bistro instead 🤣

Cheers! (@ Callie)

Who needs a husband when your bestie Jessie’s husband sends a bottle of champagne to your table during your girls night out and picks you up a 4-pack of sours on his beer run because it has your name in it??? Not this thirsty bitch! Ha.

BRB crying into my bangin’ breakfast sadwich (I’ll see myself out).

Best birthday dinner ever (@ Born & Raised)

Let’s get some fuckin’ french toast (@ République)

Celebrated Chel’s birthday with the girls (@ Pop Pie Co.)

After Pammie shared her big news that she bought a new house over the weekend, Shi revealed that her only update was that she got a tooth extracted and was going through a mortgage refi—that’s two more things than I got going on! Ha.

Smoked short ribs + doughnuts: a love story.

Dining at Majordōmo Meat & Fish was a religious experience. Can all of my meals be prepared tableside???

Much needed social hour and frosé with my faves (@ Pacific Social)

I feel seen.

Just Luna Grill notifying me that I have half a year left in my thirties (and offering some free baklava as consolation).

Is it too late to start dieting for my Hawaii trip in 2 weeks???

Recipes: Baked chicken breast cobb salad with ranch dressing // Avocado sweet potato toast // Chicken salad lettuce cups with avocado oil mayo // Air fryer brussels sprouts

I enjoy long walks to any burrito (@ Redondo Beach)

When your friends have kids but still like to party 🥳

Pacific coolers are the new pickleback!

Ditch day with my favorite 40-year-old at my favorite place (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

It took me four hours to drive from LA to SD this holiday weekend! The bestie is lucky I love BBQ her.

Rise & grind (@ Phanny’s)

Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)

Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!

Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.

You ask for ketchup at a steakhouse once and nobody ever lets you forget it.

The only shells we cracked this Easter!

Me:

Shi:

I didn’t think I needed to include instructions with these hot chocolate bombs, but I’ve been wrong before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BRB eating my feelings.

Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing offbeat at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!

Sweets for my sweets ❤️

Won $62.50 and gained 5 pounds this super bowl sunday hbu?

Back in the day when we were allowed to dine inside restaurants, I had an amazing meal at Jon and Vinny’s. I loved everything we ordered, from the marinara braised meatballs to the LA woman pizza, but the real star of the show was their spicy fusilli alla vodka (what’s not to love about carbs and alcohol?). I’ve been dreaming about it ever since, so when I came across Jon and Vinny’s recipe on Bon Appétit, I knew I had to make it for dinner.

This dish was surprisingly simple to make. I mean, did I have to ask the guy at Trader Joe’s what a shallot was? Yes. And did I see my life flash before my eyes for a split second when I flambéd that vodka? Also yes. But it turned out just as delicious as I remembered it being. And what was already an amazing dish was made even better by the fact that I didn’t have to schlep over to Fairfax in LA traffic or make a reservation a month in advance to eat it!

Best birthday gift EVER.

Pammie surprised me with BBQ from my favorite spot in Texas, and I didn’t even have to wait in line for hours to get it!

The first time I ate Franklin Barbecue was years ago on a trip to Austin City Limits. It was day-old brisket reheated in a hotel microwave, but it was (and still is) the best BBQ I’ve ever had.

Lady Marion Donutton of Quiksilver

(I knew I’d come to regret postmating Randy’s Donuts today.)

39 is staying in, binging Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time, eating your favorite pastrami sandwich and cookies from NYC, and finding joy in vacuuming all of your crumbs with the dream dyson you just got for your birthday (I’m clearly going hard this last year in my thirties).

I literally just got back to LA, stepped out of my car and dropped my cali burrito from SD on the floor. This pretty much sums up 2020 for me.

Double, double, seafood boil and trouble 🖤

I made these cupcakes once when I was dating my bestie’s brother, and their grandpa couldn’t get enough of them. I haven’t seen him in years, but his family would always tell me he still asks about the ‘cupcake girl’ even though my ex is married to someone else now. Sorry, Quinn LOL.

Sadly, their grandpa passed away this week, so I made his favorite cupcakes for my best friend and her family in memory of him.

Here’s the recipe for the greatest chocolate cupcakes and peanut butter frosting ever (according to Grandpa Oscar).

…or me when I found out that Taco Bell is getting rid of my beloved shredded chicken burrito (and more!) *cries in spanish*

Name a better duo than strawberries and rhubarb. I’ll wait.

Recipe here.

It looks like we’ll be quarantining well into summer, so I’ve officially stopped working on my bikini bod and started carbo-loading for winter.

This homemade pasta and alfredo sauce combo was *chef’s kiss*

(via @heatherland_iaintdoinit)

I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).

I had a lot of random jobs in my twenties, and for a brief window in 2004, I was a barista at Starbucks. It was a second job I picked up during the holidays for extra cash, and not one I stayed at very long. That was probably the last time I made my own coffee, and definitely the last time I woke up at four in the morning on purpose! Ha.

I mostly caffeinate with canned cold brew these days, but sometimes I’ll indulge in my most favorite iced coffee ever—Blue Bottle New Orleans. At $4 a pop, it’s not something I have on my everyday shopping list (a girl’s gotta pay her rent, after all). But they sell their cold brew kit online and are offering free shipping right now, so I thought why the hell not? What else do I have going on six weeks deep into this quarantine???

This homemade cold brew turned out way better than any coffee I ever made at Starbucks, and I didn’t even have to wake up before the sun to enjoy it. Win-win.

You guys, this quarantine is really domesticating us.

Also, never have I ever texted / facetimed / zoomed so much in my goddamn life. I can’t promise that this blog won’t devolve into just screenshots of me talking to people. Fair warning.

Legit traded two rolls of toilet paper for a breakfast burrito from Tacos Tu Madre.

If anyone wants to pick me up some short ribs from APL BBQ in Hollywood, I have some TP and other provisions I’m willing to barter!

On my flight to Seattle, the flight attendant was walking down the aisle greeting everyone happy valentine’s day when he stopped in front of me and asked, “Are you traveling alone?” I said that I was, and he was like, “Can you switch seats so that this couple can sit together?” I meannn.

Morning view (@ Hyatt House)

Blown away (@ Chihuly Garden and Glass)

This museum was across the street from our hotel and so worth the visit! I’ve always admired Chihuli’s sculptures in Vegas, but his featured work here is incredible. The way he transforms glass is pure poetry.

Seattle is so fetch (@ Cobb’s Popcorn)

The stickiest of the icky (@ The Gum Wall)

We stood in a long ass line that wrapped around the building for this chowder… or shall I say Pammie stood in a long ass line while I was off buying crab claw pens at a souvenir shop (@ Pike Place Chowder)

I actually forgot that I had eaten here during my first trip to Seattle… We only tried the New England style chowder, and I didn’t think it was anything to write home about. If you’ve had the chowder from Boudin’s or Blue Bayou or even the cafe downstairs at my work on Fridays, you aren’t missing much.

Skip the chowder line and head across the street instead (@ Beecher’s Handmade Cheese)

Between the mac and cheese, grilled cheese, poutin and cheese samples, I was in heaven! Although no one should ever consume all that dairy in one sitting. Don’t ask me how I know.

Ooh baby, I like it rawww 🎶 (@ Elliot’s Oyster House)

One last stop under the bridge! Till next time, Seattle (@ Fremont Troll)

My coworker Luis came up to me this morning with his cup of grapes and was all like, “Is that your breakfast???”

In unrelated news, I had a salad for lunch today.

BRB postmates is outside with my seafood risotto.

Let’s get some fuckin’ french toast (@ Republique)

Roger is my spirit animal.

I got to try the elusive Popeyes chicken sandwich, and I didn’t even have to wait in line or get stabbed to death! It only cost me 15,000 Southwest points (@ McCarran Airport)

Sake on Sunset with Deane and Sarah (@ Night + Market Weho)

Can I get a Clearly Canadian to wash down these tofu balls? (@ Button Mash)

I’m here for the garlic fries, beer and Eric Hosmer (in that order) (@ Petco Park)

Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.