I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!

I doordashed dinner tonight and just received someone else’s order (a hazard of contactless delivery). Even though I was hangry as hell, I think we can all agree that the real victim here is Kathleen M., who ordered 8 scoops of ice cream from Handel’s and received my salad and brussels sprouts from Tin Roof Bistro instead 🤣

Cheers! (@ Callie)

Who needs a husband when your bestie Jessie’s husband sends a bottle of champagne to your table during your girls night out and picks you up a 4-pack of sours on his beer run because it has your name in it??? Not this thirsty bitch! Ha.

BRB crying into my bangin’ breakfast sandwich.

Best birthday dinner ever (@ Born & Raised)

Let’s get some fuckin’ french toast (@ République)

Celebrated Chel’s birthday with the girls (@ Pop Pie Co.)

After Pammie shared her big news that she bought a new house over the weekend, Shi revealed that her only update was that she got a tooth extracted and was going through a mortgage refi—that’s two more things than I got going on! Ha.

Smoked short ribs + doughnuts: a love story.

Dining at Majordōmo Meat & Fish was a religious experience. Can all of my meals be prepared tableside???

Much needed social hour and frosé with my faves (@ Pacific Social)

I feel seen.

Just Luna Grill notifying me that I have half a year left in my thirties (and offering some free baklava as consolation).

Is it too late to start dieting for my Hawaii trip in 2 weeks???

Recipes: Baked chicken breast cobb salad with ranch dressing // Avocado sweet potato toast // Chicken salad lettuce cups with avocado oil mayo // Air fryer brussels sprouts

I enjoy long walks to any burrito (@ Redondo Beach)

When your friends have kids but still like to party 🥳

Pacific coolers are the new pickleback!

Ditch day with my favorite 40-year-old at my favorite place (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

It took me four hours to drive from LA to SD this holiday weekend! The bestie is lucky I love BBQ her.

Rise & grind (@ Phanny’s)

Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)

Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!

Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.

You ask for ketchup at a steakhouse once and nobody ever lets you forget it.

The only shells we cracked this Easter!

Me:

Shi:

I didn’t think I needed to include instructions with these hot chocolate bombs, but I’ve been wrong before ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BRB eating my feelings.

Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!

Sweets for my sweets ❤️

Won $62.50 and gained 5 pounds this super bowl sunday hbu?

Back in the day when we were allowed to dine inside restaurants, I had an amazing meal at Jon and Vinny’s. I loved everything we ordered, from the marinara braised meatballs to the LA woman pizza, but the real star of the show was their spicy fusilli alla vodka (what’s not to love about carbs and alcohol?). I’ve been dreaming about it ever since, so when I came across Jon and Vinny’s recipe on Bon Appétit, I knew I had to make it for dinner.

This dish was surprisingly simple to make. I mean, did I have to ask the guy at Trader Joe’s what a shallot was? Yes. And did I see my life flash before my eyes for a split second when I flambéd that vodka? Also yes. But it turned out just as delicious as I remembered it being. And what was already an amazing dish was made even better by the fact that I didn’t have to schlep over to Fairfax in LA traffic or make a reservation a month in advance to eat it!

Best birthday gift EVER.

Pammie surprised me with BBQ from my favorite spot in Texas, and I didn’t even have to wait in line for hours to get it!

The first time I ate Franklin Barbecue was years ago on a trip to Austin City Limits. It was day-old brisket reheated in a hotel microwave, but it was (and still is) the best BBQ I’ve ever had.

Lady Marion Donutton of Quiksilver

(I knew I’d come to regret postmating Randy’s Donuts today.)

39 is staying in, binging Schitt’s Creek for the fourth time, eating your favorite pastrami sandwich and cookies from NYC, and finding joy in vacuuming all of your crumbs with the dream dyson you just got for your birthday (I’m clearly going hard this last year in my thirties).

I literally just got back to LA, stepped out of my car and dropped my cali burrito from SD on the floor. This pretty much sums up 2020 for me.

Double, double, seafood boil and trouble 🖤

I made these cupcakes once when I was dating my bestie’s brother, and their grandpa couldn’t get enough of them. I haven’t seen him in years, but his family would always tell me he still asks about the ‘cupcake girl’ even though my ex is married to someone else now. Sorry, Quinn LOL.

Sadly, their grandpa passed away this week, so I made his favorite cupcakes for my best friend and her family in memory of him.

Here’s the recipe for the greatest chocolate cupcakes and peanut butter frosting ever (according to Grandpa Oscar).

…or me when I found out that Taco Bell is getting rid of my beloved shredded chicken burrito (and more!) *cries in spanish*

Name a better duo than strawberries and rhubarb. I’ll wait.

Recipe here.

It looks like we’ll be quarantining well into summer, so I’ve officially stopped working on my bikini bod and started carbo-loading for winter.

This homemade pasta and alfredo sauce combo was *chef’s kiss*

(via @heatherland_iaintdoinit)

I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).

I had a lot of random jobs in my twenties, and for a brief window in 2004, I was a barista at Starbucks. It was a second job I picked up during the holidays for extra cash, and not one I stayed at very long. That was probably the last time I made my own coffee, and definitely the last time I woke up at four in the morning on purpose! Ha.

I mostly caffeinate with canned cold brew these days, but sometimes I’ll indulge in my most favorite iced coffee ever—Blue Bottle New Orleans. At $4 a pop, it’s not something I have on my everyday shopping list (a girl’s gotta pay her rent, after all). But they sell their cold brew kit online and are offering free shipping right now, so I thought why the hell not? What else do I have going on six weeks deep into this quarantine???

This homemade cold brew turned out way better than any coffee I ever made at Starbucks, and I didn’t even have to wake up before the sun to enjoy it. Win-win.

You guys, this quarantine is really domesticating us.

Also, never have I ever texted / facetimed / zoomed so much in my goddamn life. I can’t promise that this blog won’t devolve into just screenshots of me talking to people. Fair warning.

Legit traded two rolls of toilet paper for a breakfast burrito from Tacos Tu Madre.

If anyone wants to pick me up some short ribs from APL BBQ in Hollywood, I have some TP and other provisions I’m willing to barter!

On my flight to Seattle, the flight attendant was walking down the aisle greeting everyone happy valentine’s day when he stopped in front of me and asked, “Are you traveling alone?” I said that I was, and he was like, “Can you switch seats so that this couple can sit together?” I meannn.

Morning view (@ Hyatt House)

Blown away (@ Chihuly Garden and Glass)

This museum was across the street from our hotel and so worth the visit! I’ve always admired Chihuli’s sculptures in Vegas, but his featured work here is incredible. The way he transforms glass is pure poetry.

Seattle is so fetch (@ Cobb’s Popcorn)

The stickiest of the icky (@ The Gum Wall)

We stood in a long ass line that wrapped around the building for this chowder… or shall I say Pammie stood in a long ass line while I was off buying crab claw pens at a souvenir shop (@ Pike Place Chowder)

I actually forgot that I had eaten here during my first trip to Seattle… We only tried the New England style chowder, and I didn’t think it was anything to write home about. If you’ve had the chowder from Boudin’s or Blue Bayou or even the cafe downstairs at my work on Fridays, you aren’t missing much.

Skip the chowder line and head across the street instead (@ Beecher’s Handmade Cheese)

Between the mac and cheese, grilled cheese, poutin and cheese samples, I was in heaven! Although no one should ever consume all that dairy in one sitting. Don’t ask me how I know.

Ooh baby, I like it rawww 🎶 (@ Elliot’s Oyster House)

One last stop under the bridge! Till next time, Seattle (@ Fremont Troll)

My coworker Luis came up to me this morning with his cup of grapes and was all like, “Is that your breakfast???”

In unrelated news, I had a salad for lunch today.

BRB postmates is outside with my seafood risotto.

Let’s get some fuckin’ french toast (@ Republique)

Roger is my spirit animal.

I got to try the elusive Popeyes chicken sandwich, and I didn’t even have to wait in line or get stabbed to death! It only cost me 15,000 Southwest points (@ McCarran Airport)

Sake on Sunset with Deane and Sarah (@ Night + Market Weho)

Can I get a Clearly Canadian to wash down these tofu balls? (@ Button Mash)

I’m here for the garlic fries, beer and Eric Hosmer (in that order) (@ Petco Park)

Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.

Earlier this week, my coworker Ben walked in on me eating a pb&j uncrustable in my office (yes, I bought the multipack in the ‘kids meals’ aisle at Target, and yes, I have no kids). He told me that he makes pb & honey ones for his daughter who hates jelly, and I said I’ve never had that combo before. This morning, he made an extra sandwich for me when he packed his kid’s lunch! He even cut the crust off lol!

(I’ve also never had wagyu beef, white albino caviar, or fourchu lobster if anyone reading this wants to bring me something, too.)

Jessie’s birthday BBQ (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

I missed pre-BBQ beers at Alpine because of stupid LA traffic, but I made it before they sold out of ribs this time! Can all my friends celebrate their birthdays here??? I would get on the 405 during rush hour for BBQ you.

Fuck, can I get pregnant from this??? (@ Slab BBQ)

Slab has been on my BBQ bucket list, but they usually sell out by the time I get off work. I’ve been sick at home for the past couple of days, so I finally went for lunch today. They usually don’t serve beef ribs on weekdays, but today was my lucky day! I’ve been following them on instagram since they sold BBQ out of their backyard, and their ribs and brisket were some of the best I’ve ever had! Def my new LA fave.

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any luckier, we were sitting outside Milk having dessert afterwards when WEEZER and Fred Armisen roll past us down Beverly Blvd on a flatbed performing Say It Ain’t So (my favoritest Weezer song EVER) like it’s no bigs! Only in LA…

Thanks to whoever gave me this nasty cough at work! If it weren’t for you, I would’ve never been in Fairfax in the middle of a Tuesday living my best life.

Today was a good day (@ George’s at the Cove)

Chargers playoff win. Bohemian Rhapsody takes the Globes. Parents’ 40th wedding anniversary. Amazing dinner and this view ♥

(@ Cauldron Ice Cream)

Happy early birthday to my favorite sister! (@ Monello)

FYI I can only eat pasta when it’s prepared tableside in a cheese wheel now.

I’ll have one… one of everything! (@ BJ’s Brewhouse)

Alicia and I drank our way through their holiday cocktail list. The blood orange pom fireball sangria tastes like Christmas in your mouth! It’s def going on the menu for any and all future holiday spreads.

ILYSM (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

My most favorite BBQ spot in San Diego (and all of California) just opened a second location near the bestie’s house in east county. It’s bigger and less busy than its North Park flagship, and more importantly, it has a full bar (the original location doesn’t serve alcohol, but you can BYOB). It should def be on your BBQ bucket list! Also, if you don’t have a BBQ bucket list, how are we even friends???

If you thought I was gonna celebrate National Cheeseburger Day, you weren’t wrong (@ Shake Shack)

Breakfast Club (@ Flower Child)

My favorite girls met at an ungodly hour for breakfast so that the mamas could have extra girl time away from their six kids (four of which are twin babies!). I only had to worry about getting myself up in the morning, and I was still one of the last ones there! Ha. I haven’t laughed this hard in such a long time. No one will ever be as entertained by us than us ♥