I designed this simple save the date for my dear friend Trace and her fiancé Gary ♥

More from my design portfolio here.

Dat F sharp.

I baked these cookie dough brownies for my boss’ baby shower at work today. I don’t plan on eating any of them, but I’m sure I gained 3 pounds just thinking about it.

Also, I’m skipping the gym tonight. This has nothing and everything to do with brownies, but I mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.

Sandwiches and sex? I want that.

Nick Miller is my soulmate.

Is it just me, or does everyone else’s room get a little dusty whenever they watch google chrome commercials?

Considering I just spent 100% of my weekend being a fatass, spending 4% of my day at the gym was a small price to pay! Now excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep out of hunger. I didn’t get my ass handed to me during kickboxing for nothing!

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.

I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

My ex invited me to his birthday party next weekend where he plans to resurrect the infamous rocket. I’m pretty sure I left my beer bonging days where I left my ex-boyfriend… in 2005 where they belong!

The Dear Hunter – Home
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/10-the_dear_hunter-home.mp3]

I was listening to FM 94/9 broadcast live from Coachella on the drive home from work today when I heard The Dear Hunter for the first time and thought… why am I not at Coachella again???

I think it’s partly because I thought Outside Lands would have a similar lineup, but mostly because I don’t like camping outdoors and not showering for three days.

Hotel next year, anyone?

I’ve eased up on the concerts lately to save money for that trip to Outside Lands! Now that I’m not going anymore, I regret not buying tickets to see Jason Mraz & Christina Perri. They still have tickets available, but none of them are in the pit!

There are two things you should know about me:

1. I don’t do nosebleeds.
2. I always find a way to score awesome seats. Even if I have to sleep outside a Ritmo Latino to get them. Just kidding. I haven’t done that since I was 17.

Christina Perri feat. Jason Mraz – Distance

How long can we keep this up, up, up?
And I keep waiting…

After Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza and Coachella announced similar (amazing!) lineups, I was sure Outside Lands would follow suit. Never have twelve syllables hurt me so much to say, but NOT EVEN YOUNG THE GIANT COULD SAVE THIS LINEUP! I should have went to Coachella. At least I would have seen Radiohead. And Tupac’s hologram. Boo whore.

In other news, Incubus and Linkin Park are touring together, and their last show is here in SD! My 19-year-old self is punching the air in excitement.

Today, I got off Pinterest long enough to actually make this Spicy Shrimp Fried Rice recipe that I pinned, and I managed to do it without burning the house down!

I don’t even know who I am right now.

Last night’s happy hour turned into eight hours of sangria swirl margaritas at La Puerta, sake snow cones at Gaijin, beers at Blind Lady Ale House, and vodka at The Ould Sod.

I def won’t be drinking tonight… or maybe ever again.

…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!

Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.

God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.

Adam Levine’s supermodel girlfriend dumped him and his delicious beard ten days ago, and I’m just finding out about it now???

Clearly, I’m following the wrong people on Twitter.

I may or may not have followed this guy home after work today.

Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.

Via Slowly, But Shirley:

He said that you told him how much you love me. About how you feel when I walk in a room. About how you’ve never doubted for a second that I’m the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. And I guess he had never felt that way with my mom, even at their best. There’s usually a scene in all my favorite shows that never fails to get me all choked up… like this scene from The Office where they explain how Jim’s feelings about Pam is what caused Pam’s dad to decide to leave her mom. Sometimes getting a taste of how things should be makes you realize you’re in the wrong place…

I wanted to have red puffy paint blood dripping from the easter eggs, but I thought the bloody zombie bunny was morbid enough for my favorite 8-year-old. Maybe next year.

Christ promised a resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something different in mind.

Quote of the night:

Nobody needs to see your belly button trail, happy or sad!

I finally had dinner with my favorite b’s last night! It’s so hard to get everyone together when we’re all so busy planning imaginary weddings on pinterest taking care of babies, studying for CPA exams, training for marathons, playing soccer, and testing “social experiments” 😉 Some of us don’t even have time to shower! LOL!

I usually try to go hard on my days off, but I just ended up going to the DMV, having brunch at The Mission, playing with my favorite frenchie, and calling it a night at 9:30. What has my life come to?

DAVE: You might not meet not somebody tonight, but you will meet someone.
PENNY: You promise?
DAVE: Yes… as long as you promise to stop slobbering all over the champagne.
PENNY: I can’t promise that.

This pretty much sums up my summer plans.

Justin Bieber – Boyfriend
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Justin Bieber – Boyfriend.mp3]

Half of my facebook friends announced their pregnancies today.

Way to steal my thunder, bitches.

Why else would I be working out on a Sunday morning?

I’m so happy that all my friends are getting married this year, I’m not even jealous. Except for at night when I’m in my closet eating ice cream alone.