mayanrocks.com » sports
Gua Sha.
Sunday, March 10, 2024

draya and jalen green

Pammie was telling me about some up and coming young NBA player who knocked up some video vixen from Basketball Wives LA twice his age who already has two kids with two different baby daddies, and her oldest son is the same age as her current boyfriend.

I googled her, and was like, “She looks puffy. She should get a lymphatic massage.” And Pammie was like, “She needs to do some gua sha.” LOL we’re haters ๐Ÿ˜†

When we were in Arizona, Pammie was doing her gua sha routine at the hotel, and I was telling her about this video I watched of Dove Cameron’s skincare routine where she does gua sha, but I was so high, I forgot why I was talking about Dove Cameron’s skincare routine halfway through my story, so I stopped and was like, “Why am I talking about Dove Cameron again?” ๐Ÿคฃ

Phoenix TSA confiscated her rosehip oil that she does gua sha with, because they said it was over the liquid limit. They even tested my mucuna powder, because they thought I was trying to sneak some cocaine on the plane. I’m like uhhh, don’t check the rest of my luggage, that’s where the real drugs are ๐Ÿ˜…

Boarding.
Saturday, March 2, 2024

(via @tinydicebuddies)

I’ve tried snowboarding thrice now and each time I somehow did worse than the last ๐Ÿ˜… And this was before the stroke, so my balance is way worse now. I’ll just stick to charcuterie boarding, thank yew.

Super Bowl LVIII.
Sunday, February 11, 2024

superbowl

I’m only here for this spread.

superbowl

And this spreadsheet.

superbowl

And maybe Usher.

superbowl

I won $200, so I doordashed us all some celebratory ice cream!

WAGS.
Saturday, February 10, 2024
taylor swift brittany mahomes
taylor swift brittany mahomes gif

I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand these two ๐Ÿ˜…

Banana Ball.
Friday, February 9, 2024

savannah bananas

I may not have won tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC, but I won the lottery to purchase tickets to the Banana Ball World Tour ๐ŸŒโšพ

All Blacks.
Friday, February 2, 2024

The All Blacks (Jason Momoa’s favorite rugby team from New Zealand) have a match against Fiji in July at Snapdragon Stadium in SD. I’ve never been to a rugby game, but I’ll go to maybe catch a glimpse of Khal fuckinโ€™ Drogo watch this haka live.

Lion.
Sunday, January 28, 2024

niners

…or my pops being extra and changing into this outfit after the Niners won tonight’s game LOL. I was only rooting for Detroit because I wanted to see a real lion on the field at the Superbowl.

BRB crying ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Queen.
Wednesday, January 3, 2024

fantasy football ring

File under: Shit I get asked to do because I know Photoshop.

Obviously a dude had the championship ring made since it says, “The Motherfucking king of fantasy football,” even though the ring was made after two girls joined the league (my sister and my ex’s wifeโ€”not me, I don’t know anything about football), and Pammie won last year!

New Heights.
Sunday, October 1, 2023

The Kelce brothers let Taylor Swift fans ask them questions about football, and the first one was, “What’s a field goal?” ๐Ÿคฃ

Was this like when I participated in my work’s March Madness pool for the first time, and I was like, “What’s the difference between a 12-seed team and a 5-seed team, and also what is a seed???”

Thank you for helping me enter my new football era! ๐Ÿˆ

Pad Squad.
Saturday, September 2, 2023

fairweather rooftop

Getting sloppy (@ Fairweather Bar)

Don’t worry, I bought a new Padres hat to wear at the game. My old one is probably under my Dodgers hat in my apartment in LA. I only wore the Dodgers hat when I had bedhead or to avoid getting shanked at Dodger Stadium. Jessie was like, “Didn’t you get a Padres hat at the Harry Potter game?” And I was like, “Pammie says those are for display only” LOL.

Love this girl and watching the game from here (@ Lexus Club)

When Jessie showed up at my parents’ house with the uber, my mom was like, “It’s just you two???” concerned as fuck (you get roofied once and no one lets you forget about it). I havenโ€™t had QT with Jessie, just us, since I used to help her carbo-load before her marathons (even though I didnโ€™t run). She has since tore her ACL , and I hardly eat carbs now after the incident ๐Ÿ˜…

We were talking about what our walk-up song would be. Mine would probably be something Young the Giant LOL and my brother-in-law said his walk-up song would be “Send My Love” by Born Jamericans ๐Ÿคฃ

padres lexus club

Our seats had access to the Lexus Club, so we watched the majority of the game from there while we chowed down on Hodad’s and got more drinks from the private bar. I can’t ever go back to regular seats again! ๐Ÿ˜…

To top it off, our uber driver home drove a Tesla. It was my first time riding in one, and the ride was so smooth!

Lifestyle.
Tuesday, August 29, 2023
chat
i've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle modern family gif
chat

Bey in LA this weekend, anyone???

JK, I think we settled on the Padres game this Saturday โšพ Or we can pretend we’re 21 again at El Dorado one last time. We used to go there for drinks, and I’d wake up the next morning with a half eaten burrito next to my face LOL. I used to be fun ๐Ÿ˜…

I sent this video to Jessie because she has chickens, and I’ve been laughing for 100 years ๐Ÿคฃ

Hitler.
Monday, July 24, 2023

I laughed when I saw this clip because I used to drive by this baseball store on my way to get my brows done called Hitterโ€™s House, and the first time I saw it, I had to do a double take because I thought it said โ€œHitlerโ€™s Houseโ€ ๐Ÿคฃ

P.S. My brow lady in LA probably thinks I’m dead since I used to see her every six weeks for the past decade, and I haven’t seen her since the incident. (Don’t worry, I’ve been going to my sister’s eyebrow threader in SD for the past six months, so my shit’s groomed.)

hopscotch

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Update 8/5/2023: My brow lady texted me this morning to make sure I was okay. I told her I’d see her once I was back in LA. Get you a brow lady who checks up on you LOL. Ask for Devi at Ziba in Torrance!

Battle.
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
voldemort chat
fight gif

#TBT to that time I almost got into a fight at a Padres game (last weekend).

We had good seats in Section 110, but spent most of the time in the lawn area, partly because Shi was there with the kids, but mostly because it was near Hodadโ€™s and the theme giveaway line.

Our tickets were $100+ each and parking was $55! Is this how much it costs to go to a game now??? I sound like my dad LOL. He was just saying he remembers when basketball playoff floor seats were only $500. When??? 40 years ago when the Clippers were a San Diego team? ๐Ÿคฃ

They’re building the Clippers a new stadium in Inglewood, down the street from where I paid $60 for parking for Dua Lipa last year (then I paid an extra $10 for a locker because my purse was too big!). It’s less than 20 minutes away from my apartment, but I’m not gambling with rideshare prices.

Sometimes I have to remind myself, “You’re in your forties now. You need to calm the fuck down.” ๐Ÿ˜… I think I got my fire from my mom’s side. When I was a little kid, my mom and her sisters got into a fight with these girls at Potomac Park because they wouldnโ€™t let my grandma use the water fountain. I just remember them ripping the braids out of the girls’ heads and taking their watches LOL. They were in their twenties back then, but they’re just as fiesty in their sixties now. Donโ€™t mess with the Cuevas girls!

Harry Potter x Padres.
Sunday, June 25, 2023

padres harry potter theme night

padres harry potter theme night

padres harry potter theme night

padres harry potter theme night

Harry Potter Night (@ Petco Park)

I went to a Padres game with these potterheads and all I got was a Hufflepuff hat (and garlic fries from Gaglione Brothers. And a cheeseburger from Hodad’s. Ok, and a churro from Lane’s Lemonade Stand. No ballpark beers, though, because the last time I mixed alcohol with my meds, I was sloppy as fuck!).

padres harry potter theme night

The theme giveaway line was 45 minutes long, and we overheard this guy tell his girl, “I love you, but Iโ€™m not waiting in this line” LOL. Also, we picked up 3 hats first since the 4th person wasn’t at the game yet, so Pammie asks the giveaway dude for Gryffindor, Slytherin and Hufflepuff, and he starts reaching for a blue hat looking at her for confirmation, and Pammie was like, “Boy, that’s Ravenclaw!” ๐Ÿคฃ

padres harry potter theme night

The “paw squad” is my new favorite part of being at Petco ๐Ÿพ

Lights Out.
Monday, June 5, 2023
shawne merriman lights out
shawne merriman lights out

I use this Merriman gif any chance I get because he’s the only jersey I have (I bought it before he choked Tila Tequila and before the Chargers left San Diego, but regrettably not before he got that stupid โ€œLights Outโ€ tattoo on his forearm).

So Long, Farewell.
Monday, June 5, 2023
ted lasso finale gif
ted lasso finale gif
ted lasso finale gif

The Ted Lasso series finale was so good! I’ve never been so invested in a fake sports show.

Snack.
Sunday, April 30, 2023

jessie chat

Jessie and I always joke that I’m gonna marry her husband following her untimely death ๐Ÿคฃ

10/10.
Monday, April 3, 2023

sharp grossmont

UConn smoked SDSU in the NCAA Finals today (letโ€™s face it, no one had State in their final March Madness bracket), but the Padres beat the D-backs and my dadโ€™s heart surgery went well. All in all, a 10/10 day.

Madness.
Saturday, April 1, 2023

sdsu march madness

I went to SDSU for a year before I went to art school, so I have a little bit of Aztec pride.

Opening Day.
Thursday, March 30, 2023

padres opening day 2023

Letโ€™s go, Padres! I’m watching Opening Day from my room at my sisterโ€™s instead of on the big screen at home and eating meal-prepped sausage and veggies instead of a doyer dog. What has become of my life???

The Suite Life.
Sunday, April 24, 2022

padres suite

The Padres lost 10-2, but we stayed winning in Pammie’s company suite! (@ Petco Park)

Winning.
Monday, February 14, 2022

superbowl squares 2022

superbowl halftime snoop c walk

Rams House.
Sunday, January 30, 2022

chargers linkedin

Too bad I’m a Rams fan now ๐Ÿ˜œ

Holidaze.
Tuesday, December 21, 2021

crypto.com ice skating rink

Christmas (@ Crypto.com)

There is a hell and it’s DTLA during a lakers game the week of christmas.

Not pictured: The 500 people in line for ice skating and the $40 parking garage.

Pad Squad.
Saturday, September 25, 2021

padres vs braves

padres vs braves

padres vs braves

Same time next season? (@ Petco Park)

Friar Friday.
Friday, April 23, 2021

Silently cheering so my neighbors don’t murder me.

Gainz.
Sunday, February 7, 2021

super bowl squares

king crab legs

randy's donuts

Won $62.50 and gained 5 pounds this super bowl sunday hbu?

Puppy Bowl.
Sunday, February 7, 2021

Chunky Monkey is my spirit animal.

World Series.
Tuesday, October 27, 2020

dodgers world series fireworks

Not only did the dodgers beat my padres and go on to win the world series, they also had to disrupt my beauty sleep with all these fireworks outside my apartment.

Opening Day.
Friday, July 24, 2020

Hosmer, baby! 💛

Can someone postmate me garlic fries???

RIP Kobe.
Monday, January 27, 2020

rip kobe

BRB crying in my car.

Friar Faithful.
Sunday, July 14, 2019

I’m here for the garlic fries, beer and Eric Hosmer (in that order) (@ Petco Park)

Weekend Warriors.
Monday, April 29, 2019

When your sister invites you to an NBA playoff game, you book a flight that morning and meet her in SF!

blue bottle ferry building

Local brew and bay views (@ Ferry Building)

mr. holmes bakehouse san francisco

Puff puff pastry (@ Mr. Holmes Bakehouse)

cha cha cha mission

San Fran staple (@ Cha Cha Cha)

Chike took us here during our first trip to Outside Lands, and their cajun shrimp and sangria keep me coming back every time!

Klay and Curry and KD, oh my (@ Oracle Arena)

oracle warriors vs rockets playoff win

Warriors, baby! Not bad for my first NBA game ever. Thanks to Pammie for a great weekend! You the real MVP.

left my heart in san francisco union square

Till next time, SF! (@ Union Square)

Bathroom Goals.
Monday, July 2, 2018

bathroom tv

On Top.
Saturday, March 31, 2018

run your pool

dumb and dumber - so you're telling me there's a chance gif

Kansas got killed today, but Michiganโ€™s win still put me in first place! Their chance of beating Villanova is like one in a million, so Iโ€™ll just enjoy being on top while I can…

Final FOURgasm.
Friday, March 30, 2018

swish swish bish

swish swish bish

Currently #2 out of 75, but my bracket automatically wins first place if Kansas beats Villanova tomorrow! ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ†๐ŸŽ‰

I’m just as surprised as the boys at work who had to explain to me what a seed is.

ยฏ\_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ

Swish Swish Bish.
Thursday, March 8, 2018

march madness

In the event that this isnโ€™t anything like that Survivor pool I joined and won without ever watching a single episode, I have a few questions, like how do you know if itโ€™s a 12 seed team or a 5 seed team, and also what is a seed???

Pad Squad.
Monday, April 24, 2017

padres game

Pad squad* (@ Petco Park)

*not pictured: Alicia and I dodging homerun balls (none of which were hit by the Padres, of course).

Los Doyers.
Monday, June 8, 2015

dodger stadium

We’re only here for the doyer dogs tbh (@ Dodger Stadium)

Ooh Kill Em.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014

chipset fantasy football

ray rice fantasy football

If my sister and I share a love of anything, it’s the dulcet tones of Sam Smith, and winning. She is next level when it comes to fantasy football and being the only girl in her league!

Dodgers vs. Padres.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014

dodgers vs padres @ dodger stadium

It smells like doyer dogs and betrayal (@ Dodger Stadium)

Score.
Tuesday, July 1, 2014

bathroom tv

Bathroom break (@ Skechers)

Worst. Day. Ever.
Monday, October 31, 2011

philip rivers - worst day ever - chargers chiefs

No lunch break at work, an hour of unpaid overtime, and a Chargers loss. Is my pet’s head gonna fall off next???

You said it, Rivers…

2-in-1.
Sunday, September 18, 2011

mayweather cheap shot

Fight night at Anthony’s. I kept asking what time “the game” was. LOL.

Yeah, I was just there for the 2-in-1 burritos from Lolita’s.

Viva Jessie.
Sunday, September 11, 2011

jessie plays the field until she scores

Future soccer mom right here.

Viva Ronaldo.
Thursday, June 24, 2010

I officially became a soccer fan at 2:12.

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