(306 total players – 264 eligible players) x ($10 buy-in) = $420. $420/264 eligible players = $1.59 LOL
I may have won less than $2, but the health benefits are priceless 😆
StepBet allows you to participate in 3 challenges at a time, so I’m doing 2 other challenges that are a bit longer (6 weeks) and the pots are much higher ($94,000 total). Hopefully, I’ll win more than $2 😜
My doc appointment with the hematologist last week went well. I don’t have cancer 😮💨 He said that the normal range for white blood cells is 4.5K–11K and mine has been consistently 12K the past year, but everything else was normal, so he’s not concerned. He said it looks like there were some abnormalities in my T-cells, but that would only concern him if my other numbers were low and they weren’t, so he just wants to see me in 6 months to make sure my numbers are the same.
He was like, ‘Any questions for me?’ and my mom was like ‘How old are you?’ LOL he looked hella young. He was Asian and maybe in his 20s or 30s. He also said his babyface can be attributed to his skincare routine 😆
He was asking me a bunch of health questions and then he was like, ‘So what do you like to do in your free time?’ and I was like, ‘Uhh go to concerts,’ and my mom was like, ‘She just saw Justin Timberlake. Twice!’ and he was like, ‘Before his DUI or after???’ Don’t judge me 😑
The only bad news I got that day was when I stepped on the scale in the doctor’s office, and found out I gained a few. I’m still skinnier than I was when I had the stroke, but I’m straying further away from my ‘DMV weight‘ LOL, and I’m sure my primary care physician will have words about it when I see her in a few months.
My friend knows how competitive I am, so she suggested I try this StepBet app. I joined this mini 2-week challenge to start out. The buy-in was only $10, and if you complete the challenge, you split the pot. Over 300 people have joined this challenge, so the pot is $3,000+. Nothing motivates me more than winning, so I might as well make some money while reaping the health benefits 😜
I only did 200 steps yesterday LOL, so I was going to make up for it today by walking to the Farmer’s Market and to Christine’s house to drop off some pizza cupcakes I made for the kids earlier. But then Christine offered to pick me up, drive me to CVS to pick up my meds and to the Farmer’s Market to eat.
Christine saw so many people she knew at the Farmer’s Market, and she put on her sunglasses, and was like, ‘That’s why I hate fucking coming here.’ I was asking her if she’s ever ran into an ex at this thing when we saw my ex. I haven’t seen him in years, and unless he’s one of the three people who still reads this blog, he doesn’t know that I had a stroke last year and have been in SD since. He’s the type of guy who broadcasts everything on social media, while I’m more private (my sister’s husband is convinced I have a secret family in LA LOL). When I first moved to LA, my ex was also living in LA, and he and his then gf had recently broken up, and he asked if I needed a roommate 😳 I’m like, ‘Nah, I’m good.’ I’ll just keep renting this room in this 60-year-old man’s house, and keep declining his invites upstairs for wine until I find a new place 😅 Christine kinda looks like me (we get mistaken for sisters all the time), and she was like, ‘I hope he doesn’t see me and think I’m you.’ She was making me laugh, and she was like, ‘Shh, he might hear your laugh and come looking for you!’ LOL He was on his phone, so he didn’t see us. Jessie ran into him and his wife at Total Wine last week. Is this what we get for boozin’ it up and not getting our steps in? 😅 Pammie got off work early and met up with us and ran into him in the parking lot 😆 They chatted for a bit, and he was surprised to find out they lived so close to each other. Maybe I should stop walking everywhere 😅
I’ll just get my dang steps in tomorrow after I carbo-load on these mini donuts. Okay, and this bag of kettle corn, too.
If I slowed down near the fire station, that’s nobody’s business but my own 😜
I’ve always wanted to have an astronaut picnic (where you can only eat and drink stuff they have in space—MREs, freeze-dried foods, Tang, etc.), and now I know where I can get all the accoutrements. Am I cooler than you thought I was? 😅 Boys, try not to fall in love with me.
Also, I found out that my friend’s husband loves the Deftones, too. She was like, ‘He totally did the whole ‘Couchella’ thing and streamed Coachella from home.’ I did the same! 👵🏻
I walked five miles to CVS to get my steps in and pick up my meds today.
I also downloaded the fitbit app (you don’t need a fitbit watch to use it, you can sync it to your phone). The Nike Run Club app doesn’t track your steps, and you can still set up challenges against your friends, so I like this better.
I didn’t see a single dog on my walk, but I did see one squirrel, two lizards, and a few butterflies. I also saw a bunch of kids from Eastlake High running a mile in tiny ass shorts. Did I swap out my Gucci bag and Beats Studio Buds for my cheapy Target purse and Amazon earbuds in case I got robbed? Yes. Did I take a Lyft back? Also, yes.
Not to be dramatic or anything, but today was the best day of my life (@ Spirit Yoga Studios)
I was like, ‘If one of these puppies falls asleep on me during savasana, I’m gonna have to adopt him.’ I don’t make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I can only do yoga now if puppies are involved.
I can’t remember the last time I was in PB… to get a brazilian wax at Viva Brazil? To drink Adios, Motherfuckers at PB Bar & Grill? To party with Jesse and his friends when he still lived in PB, crash on his couch, and get offered coffee and ketchup packets in the morning?
Sometimes, I forget how nice San Diego and SoCal really is. I def take the beach for granted. My apartment in LA is on Manhattan Beach Boulevard, literally 2 miles from the beach, and I never go.
Here’s to more puppies and more beaches in the future 🐶🌴
Pammie and and I walked to Paris Baguette to get our steps in before I inhaled my croissant and cold brew. The girls were texting when we were walking back, and Shi and Christine’s husbands’ friend had a heart attack while they were playing some pick up ball this morning! He’s our age! Scary…
I’m gonna take a shower now and get ready for puppy yoga and maybe google a CPR class we can all take 😅
I have 3 days and just under 7 miles left to complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi put us on a couple weeks ago. Home stretch! Also, never in my life has someone called me ‘pure of heart’ 🤣
Do I like hockey now? Whenever I go to the gym, I get on the elliptical machine in front of the TV playing the Stanley Cup Playoffs. It’s good, uh, motivation 😏
Shout out to the man who offered me a seat in the full sauna in between workouts at the gym. At least I think it was man… I have to take my glasses off in there because they fog up and I look like an idiot 😆
Update 4/23/2024: It def was a man. The same guy offered me his seat in the sauna today, too. Chivalry ain’t dead, y’all!
Update. 4/24/2024: Another guy offered me a seat in the sauna today, because it was full as fuck and I was the only girl in there. Is that chivalrous or is my bar set really low???
I did a mile on the treadmill yesterday, but spent the rest of my Saturday sweating like a whore in church for KD’s first communion (was the a/c off? why was it so hot in there? 😅) and drinking my weight in Jarritos Hard Sodas at Christine’s. I made up for it today by going extra hard at the gym. I finally broke 20 miles, even though it took me 6 days to do so. I remember when Jessie would be training for marathons, and she’d take the coaster up to Oceanside and run 20 miles back down, and I thought she was fucking crazy 😳
I can’t promise this blog won’t devolve into Nike Run Club leaderboard screenshots. Fair warning.
I get my brows threaded pretty regularly (my eyebrow lady in LA was wondering where the fuck I was after the stroke because I used to see her every 6 weeks for the past decade), and I’ve been seeing my sister’s eyebrow lady since I’ve been in SD. I’m going to a party at Christine’s house tomorrow, and her daughter’s fucking savage. She once told our friend (who’s a girl), “I like your mustache!” LOL, so I always make sure my shit is groomed when I see her 5-year-old ass.
I’ve been staying at my parents’ house, so my mom took me to her waxing lady, and I forgot how much waxing hurts more than threading 😅
I had her drop me off at the gym after so I could use their elliptical machines and the sauna. This guy got on the elliptical right next to me, even though there were a million other machines far, far away from me. IDK if he could hear my loud ass twerkout playlist through my earbuds or if he just liked my Michael Myers shirt 😆
Going to 24 Hour Fitness in East County and waxing my eyebrows? Is it 2000???
Me: (looking through my parents’ medicine cabinets) You guys got any muscle relaxers or pain relievers? Vicodin? Oxy? Tramadol? I think I went too hard yesterday. My legs hurt. My dad: That’s normal. The soreness should go away in a day or two. Me: I don’t have a day or two. Shi is hot on my tail. I have to beat her today.
Now I’m sitting here with Bengay slathered on my fucking stems smelling like my dad after he plays basketball LOL 😅
Astronaut In The Ocean (Remix) – Masked Wolf feat. G-Eazy & DDG
That’s why my girl never leave me
When I’m in it, she get creamy
Dance (A$$) Remix – Big Sean feat. Nicki Minaj
Wobbledy wobble, wo-wo-wobble, wobbin’ Ass so fat, all these bitches’ pussies is throbbin’ Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter Somebody point me to the best ass-eater
Cockiness – Rihanna
She may be the queen of hearts But I’mma be the queen of your body parts
No one can do you The way that I do Boy I want you I love it, I love it I love it when you eat it
WHATS POPPIN – Jack Harlow
She heard of my deep stroke She said, “Babe, does it hurt when I deep throat?”
I read that a routine can help you feel in control of your life, so instead of focusing on things I can’t control, I can set small goals. Like if I fall asleep without taking my makeup off or brushing my teeth, I’m usually like no bigs because I never get cavities and hardly ever get blemishes (only at the most inopportune times, like when I have a party to go to), but last night after I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, put on my cat headband and did a whole ass skincare routine, and took these new melatonin and ashwaganda supplements I instacarted because I’ve been having trouble sleeping.
Before the stroke, I would sleep at like 2, 3, 4 in the morning (on a weeknight!). After the stroke, I was sleeping more than half the day. I was also on medical leave and didn’t work for 6 months, so sleep filled up a lot of that time. I sleep a normal 8 hours now, but I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10. I’ve noticed that I’ve been staying up past midnight some nights, even though I’ve been in bed for hours. I had a restful sleep last night, but I took the gummies like at 9pm. I think I need to take them earlier, because it takes me a while to digest things. That’s why if I take an edible, I do it before an event and during the event, because it could be hours before I feel the effects 😅
I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill an hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner today. It’s the only way I’m gonna complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi has us on this month!
Chel’s friend (who’s our age!) passed away from a heart attack last week. Everyday, my family tells me I’m lucky to be alive still after having a stroke at 40, and I’m always like, “Am I, though?” 😅 Every time I hear a story like this though, I feel lucky…
Shi sent us a challenge to do 60 miles by end of April on the Nike Run Club App. I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. Let’s do this!
Donna sent me this video, and I told her my nostrils will be flaring five seconds into this 30-day plank challenge she’s convinced us to do while on vacation. I was able to last a full minute last night, partly because I was resting on my elbows, but mostly because I didn’t want to look like a little bitch! Ha.
Also, I’ve been up since 6am this morning, because my sister and Donna both work today, and Donna’s work day starts at 7:30am North Carolina time, which is 6:30am Nashville time, which is 4:30am pacific time (3:30am if we’re counting daylight savings!). She was like, “Just go back to sleep,” but I can’t sleep once everyone’s up. Plus, I’m one of those people who only need a few hours of sleep and I’m fine. Pammie was out till after midnight with her coworkers last night, and she is hurting this morning getting ready to meet these same people who are all probably still hungover.
I’m just over here bright eyed and bushy tailed about to take a shower and doordash some Biscuit Love. It’s nearby, so I was gonna walk my ass over there, but it’s raining today and the sun hasn’t even woken up yet 😅
Donna is a planner, while I’m more of a “let’s keep the day open so whatever happens happens” kinda girl. She has planned our itinerary down to the minute so we can do everything we wanna do and maximize our time there. Including 7am plank challenges 😅 I tried to tell her that that’s 5am pacific time (4am with daylight savings!), but she’s really gonna make us work for that Nashville hot chicken…
I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. I once won a Survivor pool without watching a single episode and almost won a March Madness pool at my work (I had the #1 bracket up until I lost the final game) even though the boys had to explain to me what a seed was 😆 I’ve also joined and won several biggest loser challenges (the only thing I lose is pounds!). Anyway, when Chel suggested we keep ourselves accountable by tracking each other’s daily steps using the Nike Run Club App, I was wary at first. My mom and sister already follow my blood glucose monitor readings (they granted themselves access while I was sick, I would never allow such an invasion of privacy otherwise), so they get notified if it’s too high and hassle me about what I’m eating. I’m just like, this ain’t social media. Stop following me! Let me eat this Crumbl cookie in peace 😅
Shi just wanted to go hiking and have some kid-free QT for her birthday. I would only get up this buttcrack early on a Sunday and exercise for this girl ❤️
Actual footage of me waking up before the sun this morning:
And me in the car while Christine drove my sleepy ass:
Thanks to Shi for picking a relatively easy hike that was mostly flat and paved and being so mindful of my fall risk status 😅 I actually loved this little walk around the bay, and we all have birthdays in the winter, so I wouldn’t mind doing this again during the cooler months! They also do yoga on Sundays, so I’ll have to try that one of these weekends.
Sidenote: This girl ran past me on the trail and she was like, “Behind!” I moved over and wanted to say, “Yes, chef,” but I didn’t think she’d get the reference 😂
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I’ve gained a few since I last saw my PCP in person almost a year ago. Granted, I last saw her a couple months after the strokes when I had dropped a ton of weight because I was scared to eat a carb, plus it’s after the holidays now! I’m still skinnier than I was before the strokes, but she didn’t see me till after I lost all that weight. I planned on eating my way through Phoenix and Nashville in the next couple months, but she scheduled another appointment in the beginning of May to check on my progress. She said I should be doing at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. I’m like, “But that’s 150 more than I normally do.” 😅
Googling “how to raise good cholesterol” because my doctor said my number should be higher, and the first suggestion is to exercise more 😅 I’m like, uhhh, can’t I just eat more fish??? 🤣
…or me whenever my sister tells me I should go on a walk or do my Breather exercises that my speech therapist told me to do. Basically, I don’t like any kind of exercise LOL. She’s always like, “You should be grateful you can still move and talk!” especially after her coworker told her that her cousin who’s the same age as me had a stroke and died. Ok fine, I’ll go on a walk and do my breathing exercises… *grumbles*
It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving for crying out loud!
Before I got this reminder, Shi texted me asking how my bridesmaid dress fit. Luckily, the dress she chose for us has an empire waist that ensures that any indiscretions (like my special relationship with BBQ) will be undetectable. Granted, I still bought a size too small to keep my ass in check! A few of us will have exes at this wedding, and even though we’ve all moved on, nobody’s trying to look like garbage in front of their ex. Amirite, Christine? Karen? LOL.
Jessie was chosen to compete at the Nike Training Club Summer Throwdown in my ‘hood this past weekend, so I had to come support! The girl who won MVP warmed up for that brutal 2-hour workout by running from Santa Monica to Hermosa Beach (14 miles!). My exercise for the day was parking three blocks away and walking to the event at the pier. And I warmed up with half a breakfast burrito, so… I think she has me beat there.
I’ve missed this girl as much as I’ve missed helping her carbo-load for her marathons! Ha. So proud of you, b ♥
Hiking Chantry Flats was like being in a goddamn fairy tale. It’s pretty much my favorite hike that I’ve done thus far. Unlike the Potato Chip Rock hike that tested my friendship with Pammie and Shi, not once did I think, “Fuck this bitch, I can go on without her!” Ha. Ask me again after we hike the Hollywood Sign…
I took a shotgun trip to Vegas this past weekend with my sister and her fiance to finalize plans for their wedding this November. I’m going to be the best maid of honor ever! Or at least the sexiest one… I’ll work that angle 😉 Ha.
I stole this idea from Pinterest to put a dollar in a jar every time you go to the gym as an incentive to work out more. I picked one up from Ikea a week and a half ago, and it’s still empty! Although now that I think about it, I should really put $5 in it for every hour I was hiking that god awful mountain last Sunday.
I feel like I’m always losing the same ten pounds, because I do really well for a good chunk of time (usually around 8 weeks and when $407 is at stake—I’m just throwing random numbers out there). But soon after I remember how much I love food and hate exercising. I have yet to find a balance between the two.
A friend once told me, “I don’t live to eat. I eat to live.” At least I think that’s what he said… I could barely hear him over the crunching in my mouth as I polished off my carne asada chips! Ha.
Exercise in the morning before your body knows what it’s doing.
Oh, my body knew damn well what it was doing.
I said the last time was the last time, and I’d never go back… yet there I was, at an unholy hour on a Sunday, back at Mount Woodson with Shi and Pammie!
I’m pretty sure the sun tried to kill us all today. Worst five hours EVAR!
I can barely move my arms after working out with Jesse. I have blisters on my feet from yesterday’s hike with Shi. And while I wore pants, a long-sleeved shirt and a hat to protect my skin, the small area of my chest that was exposed got sunburned.
That 4-hour hike up Mount Woodson was brutal, but I somehow made it to the top and back down again with a little determination and a lot of blood in my shoes.
When Jesse told me that I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to, but if I did, I’d be sore in the morning, this was not how I expected to spend my evening! Ha.
And so there I was at the gym with him after work today, in two sports bras and a ponytail with my glasses securely bobby-pinned to my head. Hard to resist, I know, but somehow he managed!
Thanks for working me out and not pretending you didn’t know me when I nearly broke the tricep dip machine! I meannn. I’ll try to be less embarrassing next time!
I baked these cookie dough brownies for my boss’ baby shower at work today. I don’t plan on eating any of them, but I’m sure I gained 3 pounds just thinking about it.
Also, I’m skipping the gym tonight. This has nothing and everything to do with brownies, but I mostly just wanted to get that off my chest.
Considering I just spent 100% of my weekend being a fatass, spending 4% of my day at the gym was a small price to pay! Now excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep out of hunger. I didn’t get my ass handed to me during kickboxing for nothing!
Why else would I be working out on a Sunday morning?
I’m so happy that all my friends are getting married this year, I’m not even jealous. Except for at night when I’m in my closet eating ice cream alone.
Some friends of mine are running this zombie infested 5K obstacle course race. I’ve done 5Ks before, but this pretty much sounds like the makings of my worst nightmare!
In related news, I’m all caught up with The Walking Dead. What am I supposed to do now?
I have three weddings coming up (none of which are my own, of course), and Yelp just threatened to take away my gym junkie badge due to a lack of check-ins. If that’s not a sign to start working out again, then I don’t know what is. Besides, isn’t the point of weddings to get good photos of yourself while you’re thin?
Whoever said that nothing tastes as good as thin feels has never had a Porto’s cheese roll, obvi. But I didn’t go to the gym at an unholy hour on a Saturday just to offset my workout by inhaling one of these delicious treats… that my aunt brought me from LA… that I probably won’t have again till Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or 2012.
I won’t be able to make it, but there’s a “Party in Pink” zumbathon this weekend that benefits Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Research! Details here if you want to join the party. Dancer’s body optional.
It’s hard to complain about exercising with a view like this…
Yesterday, I hiked at Torrey Pines with Shi, and I was DYING. I haven’t worked out in… what month is it now? My exercise ball has been sitting in the backseat of my car as a constant reminder that I haven’t worked out since Arlene moved to Monterey. I weighed myself yesterday to assess the damage, and I’ve only gained 6 pounds, surprisingly. I was expecting upwards of 15 or 20, but I guess it’s hard to tell if my clothes are fitting tighter when I’ve been getting all this mileage out of my leggings! Ha. I’m finally back on the grind, though. Arlene pretty much threatened my life before she left town, and I don’t doubt she would cut me if I gained back all that weight she helped me lose.
My goal is to look better at 30 than I did at 21. Considering I wore brown chola lip liner when I was 21, I’d say this goal may have already been reached. Ha.
Yesterday, I brought my lunch and gym clothes to work.
My untouched ground turkey is still sitting in the fridge because Mary and I had 25¢ wings at JT’s instead, and my unused gym clothes are still neatly folded in the trunk of my car because Christian wanted to go to happy hour.
My work’s proximity to the bar is clearly foiling my plans to eat better and work out.
Since Arlene is vacationing in Cabo this week, I thought I’d be able to take a vacation from working out. Apparently, I was wrong. Thanks Shi and Christine for keeping me motivated and making me run up and down this damn mountain! The view from the top was worth it.
Shi posted this picture of us inhaling Tropical Shave Ice on Facebook, and as a result, Arlene has threatened us with the PINK card at tomorrow night’s circuit training session… the same pink card that made me throw up (three times!) the first day I did it.
8 weeks, 1200 calories/day, 2 workouts/day, 42 pounds lost and $407 gained, bitches!
Ladies, you’re doing yourself a serious disservice if you think that a man can ever beat you in anything. Who cares whether or not they lose weight faster than you? Work harder, and show them that there’s nothing a man can do that a woman can’t do better, backwards and in high heels. TWICE!
I’m going to Vegas this weekend, and one of the outfits I packed was my gym clothes. What has my life come to? I’m crazy competitive, and I won’t let one weekend in Vegas ruin my #1 status in this @MindzAlike#BLC.
I will eat your babies, bitch! And I’ll lose weight doing it, too 😉
As a result of my second workout today, not only did I unlock Foursquare’s Gym Rat badge, but I also received an eyeful of some lady’s bearded clam! Yikes.
If you’re going to unleash your cat in the ladies locker room, can you at least have the decency to groom it?
Anthony: crab hut tomorrow? Me: i can’t 🙁 i have a weigh-in this weekend. Anthony: let me know when this contest that appears to be ruining your life is over and we can go to crab hut. i mean, i can only go there in the company of celebs, such as those who have their pic on the wall.
The fact that I’m willing to risk my Crab Hut mayorship and dukedom alone should strike fear in the eyes of my fellow @MindzAlike#BLC participants.
Oh, Starbucks… you and your complimentary mini cupcakes can’t break me. I’ll stick to my zero calorie iced green tea with two splendas, thank you very much.
Between going to the gym at an ungodly hour, working 9-5, and circuit training with Arlene after work, I barely have enough time and energy to take a shower and do some light internet stalking before I cry myself to sleep at night out of hunger.
This pretty much sums up the next seven weeks of my life. FML.
Errol: our boxing coach puts a 20 pound medicine ball on your lower back so you don’t put your butt up when you’re doing planks Me: dude i totally put my butt up when it gets hard Errol: that’s what she said!
I skipped our workout tonight for Mary’s birthday dinner, so Arlene told me to “prepare for a beat down” tomorrow. Yikes. Does carbo-loading with Hot Hot Mexican rolls from Sushi Deli 2 count as preparation?
When I’m not getting my ass handed to me by Arlene, I like to go to the gym and take turbo kickboxing classes. Or walk barefoot on shards of glass—pretty much any activity that’s less painful than working out with that crazy Mexican. I was early for kickboxing tonight, so instead of warming up on the treadmill, I played Angry Birds on my phone in the ladies locker room. This girl came in and asked me what time it was and if I was going to kickboxing. We started chatting, walked to the class together, and ended up working out next to each other. I don’t normally stay for abs at the end of class, but I didn’t want to look like a little bitch in front of my new buddy, Coleen, so I pushed through it. Afterward, she offered me her number so that we could go to classes together, and I found myself agreeing to work out with her Saturday morning. So not only do I get tortured by Arlene five times a week, I now have a gym buddy to push me at what’s supposed to be my safe haven away from Arlene! Why do Mexican girls always want to be my friend??? LOL. Ay guey.
My friend, Arlene, has given birth to four kids (including twins!) in the past decade, but you’d never be able to tell by looking at her. When she offered to whip my ass into shape this past weekend, I was at my ex’s sister’s wedding, surrounded by my ex’s entire family, and taking advantage of the open bar. And maybe the mini donut vendor, too. Clearly, I was at my most vulnerable when I agreed to let her train me!
We had our first boot camp session last night, and I feel lighter already. But that might be because I threw up during our workout. Three times.
Last night after work, I wanted to do nothing more than go home and veg in my chones pajamas. I must have had a stroke when I agreed to hike Torrey Pines instead with Shi. The view from the top was worth jogging the straightaway (and then some!). Afterward, we had spicy lobster rolls at RB Sushi in our gym clothes and caught up on our love lives (or lack thereof—I’ll let you guess whose was lacking).
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
I heard this song on the way to the gym this morning, and it reminded me of high school. I’m not sure what’s more shocking—that this song came out over ten years ago, or that I went to the gym this morning?
Two trips to the fair last week left me with fierce tan lines and an even fiercer waistline. I’m sure my special relationship with bacon last month didn’t help, either. Today’s a new day, though. I don’t have a particular goal in mind… No upcoming wedding to lose three dress sizes for. No birthday party for another ex-boyfriend… A belated attempt to wear a bathing suit in public, perhaps? (I wear my chones around anyone who will let me—is that not the same thing?) I suppose I have to do it for myself this time. Here goes nothing…
It’s officially summer, and for the 28th year in a row, I’m not ready for all this sunlight. Thankfully, I’ve moved out of my non air-conditioned apartment that I nearly melted in last year, so I won’t have any sudden urges to punch a baby in this heat. Being healthy isn’t enough motivation to lose weight for me. I entered a biggest loser competition at work last year, lost 20 pounds and won by less than 1% (suck it, Calvin!). And I did it all for just bragging rights and a celebratory croissant. I used to play Bejeweled Blitz religiously on Facebook just because whenever I’d beat someone’s score, it sent them a notification saying, “Booyah! Mayan fucking beat you, bitch.” Okay maybe it didn’t say fucking. Or bitch. Or booyah… but it still notified them, okay? Get off me. I would really like to get fit, so I need someone to compete with. And not someone like Jay who works out once a week while I’m pulling two-a-days… It can’t be that easy. But I want to start after I go to the fair this Sunday. And next Friday. And possibly next Saturday… Let’s just be safe and start this thing when the fair ends after the 4th of July.
Every night after work, I begrudgingly drag my ass to the gym. But today, I finally found my motivation. Turbo Kickboxing Instructor Mike, where have you been all my life??? It will be like that summer I took that art class in college with that hot teacher and had unusually perfect attendance that quarter 😉
Update: I just googled Mike to see what gyms he regularly teaches at since he subbed my class today, and his personal training site lists him as MARRIED (of course he is). Come to think of it, that hot art teacher from college was married, too.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure God wants me to die alone. And possibly out of shape.
I’m all about good food and good drinks with good friends, and this diet is just ruining my life. I don’t even know who I am right now. Did I really say no to Cinco de Drinko at D&B’s with Jay and his coworkers AND margaritas at Ortega’s with Shi and her coworkers this week? I think the bigger question is what’s the deal with me hanging out with my friends and their coworkers??? As a general rule, I don’t go out with the people I work with. At least not since my manager’s drunken birthday disaster of 2008. Yikes. Anyway, with only six weeks left till Chel’s wedding, I’ve been eating bird portions and hitting the gym every night in a late attempt to fit into the bridesmaid dress I purposely (and over ambitiously) ordered three sizes too small. Apparently, losing 25 pounds wasn’t enough. It would’ve been, had I lost it all in my chest. As I always say, these ladies are a blessing and a curse. This sudden spike in turbo kickboxing classes has also left me with some seriously sore stems. I have to admit, walking around like I’ve just been butt-raped has been very humbling.
I woke up at an ungodly hour this morning to attend boot camp with the girls downtown at Embarcadero Marina Park. We had a beautiful view of the marina, but I was too distracted by the sweat dripping into my eyes and the blinding pain in my legs from warming up on the stairs of the convention center. I’m definitely gonna be hurting tomorrow.
I officially have 90 days till Chel’s wedding. One dress size down, two more to go…
Do you guys want to know how to make these sit ups easier?
LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
I came home from the gym this morning to this chocolate covered strawberry bouquet sent from my sister and her fiancé. I smell sabotage… sweet, sweet sabotage. I didn’t work out every day this week and pull three two-a-days to indulge in dessert—I did it so I could drink my sorrows away tonight with my single friends. My sister is so thoughtful, though 🙂 She knows how much I hate this godforsaken holiday.
I’ve been on this crazy diet and exercise regimen for the past few weeks in preparation for Chel’s wedding. I just don’t want to be scrambling to lose three dress sizes in May to fit into my bridesmaid dress. Its pleated waistline promises to hide any indiscretions (like that wing-eating contest you entered the night before or that Mexican you didn’t know was hiding in your uterus), but I thought I’d be on the safe side and pull some two-a-days at the gym. I took kickboxing and salsa dancing today. My kickboxing instructor kept yelling, “Throw those punches! Squeeze those glutes! You gotta look good for your man on Valentine’s Day!” And I’m thinking, the only man who’s gonna see me naked on Valentine’s Day is my masseur at Chiropractique! Boo whore. At least someone’s hands will be on me that day…
I have six months to find a date fit into my bridesmaid dress for Chel and Flex’s wedding. A dress that I purposely ordered three sizes too small. It’s only day one of my diet and I’m miserable. Probably from all the food I didn’t eat. And all the Coke I didn’t drink. And the migraine I’ve had since I got home from work. I’ll have to keep reminding myself that “nothing tastes as good as thin feels” whenever I get the sudden urge to sit around and eat sticks of butter from different lands. It’s gonna be a long six months.
You don’t alter Vera Wang to fit you. You alter yourself to fit Vera.
My birthday’s officially over. Thanks to everyone who called today and came out to celebrate with me over the weekend 🙂 Today, I had dinner at Onami’s with my dad, sister, Edgar and Jed. We came back to my house afterwards and made smoothies with my new Smoothie Pro600 (thanks, Pammie!). Now I can make the defunct Pineappalooza smoothie from Jamba Juice (damn seasonal drink)!!! I need to start eating healthier and actually USE the 24-Hour Fitness membership (you can’t lose weight by just SIGNING UP, though I used to be convinced that you could). I want a smokin’ body by the time summer arrives and Pineappaloozas are back in season!
