- TOPS Malibu A Sparkling Toast Wish Sparkler
- The Bruery “Goses are Red” Beer
- Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
- Favorite Day Valentine’s Hot Cocoa Spoons
- Compartes California Love Pretzel Dark Chocolate Bar
- Ghirardelli Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
- Lindt Lindor Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Truffles
- Godiva Dark Chocolate Hearts Bar
- Dove Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Hearts
- Dove Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
- Reese’s Valentine’s Day Peanut Butter Hearts
- Twix Valentine’s Minis
- Kit Kat Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate Wafers
- Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramels
- Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Kisses
- Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Hugs & Kisses
- Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate
- M&M’s Valentine’s Milk Chocolate
- Sour Punch Valentine’s Cupid Straws
- Haribo Valentine’s Goldbears Gummi Candy
- Starburst FaveREDs Fruit Chews
- Charms Valentine’s Pops
- Skittles Valentine’s Exchange Kit
- Skittles Valentine’s Wild Berry Exchange Kit
- Pelon Pelo Rico
My sister’s husband heard me huffing and puffing up their stairs and he’s like, “What you got there?” and I was like, “Target delivery. I bought all this candy for Valentine’s Day.” And he’s like, “You making gift bags? You’re such a good friend doing this every holiday, but I’ve never seen someone send you a gift bag!” I’m not the kind of person who gives expecting something in return ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Giving is my love language, y’all ❤️💕 Well, BBQ is also my love language (I’m hella lingual).
Valentine’s Day may be a made up holiday, but these goodies are very real 😋
I also made these matching “On Godric” shirts for my sister and her husband. I’m not hood or a Potterhead (so I’ve never said, “on God,” and def have never said, “on Godric” LOL) and IDK what the fuck this dude is saying, but Pammie and D like him 😆
Everyone knows I love miniature things, so for Christmas my dad’s sister sent me The World’s Smallest Battleship, Jenga and Lava Lamp. I’m also clumsy as fuck, so I dropped them all on my way to my room. Pammie was like, “Did you pick everything up? You don’t want to accidentally step on a tiny battleship!” And guess what I stepped on barefoot today??? I was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!” and I looked down and there it was… the world’s smallest battleship.
Oh, it’s personal.
Last bake of 2023 ✌🏼 I hate actual ginger, but I love gingerbread anything. I’ve been known to eat a whole sleeve of ginger snaps in bed. If there were any gingerbread crinkle cookies left, I would’ve taken them to bed with me.
My relatives requested that I make my copycat lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang’s in case this party wasn’t Asian enough.
We left the party early because we were tired by 9:30. My aunt was like, “You’re going already? You’re leaving the lettuce wraps, right?” 😆
I’m not gonna make it to midnight, guys. Happy new year from this old broad 👵🏻
I think miniature versions of things are the cutest, so I made these adorable mini chicken and waffles. I just bought some Eggo Minis, a tray of Chick-Fil-A Nuggets, these cocktail picks, and served it with some quality maple syrup. So cute!
My chocolate bread pudding fixes things in the universe.
My charcuterie boards always have a theme 🎄
I made my banana nut bread last Thanksgiving and was asked multiple times where I bought it! Now I have to make it for every family party.
Is it even an Asian party if you don’t play games for money??? I learned that my cousin’s husband moves really slow after eating edibles and I suck at flip cup when I’m completely sober 😅
I was too busy taking pictures of my food to take any pictures of myself, but I wore this cute ass Christmas light strand sequin sweater dress that was festive as fuck 🎄
I’m officially off of work till New Year’s, so I’ll just be here till then ✌🏼
One Christmas, my aunt texted the whole family and was like, “If you’re married or over the age of 25, you will not be getting a gift this year.” I was like, “So not only am I old and single, I also won’t be getting presents this Christmas???” 🤣 My mom’s sisters and grandma used to give all the kids gifts and with all the kids having their own kids, it was getting to be a lot.
I usually don’t give gifts to all my cousins and their kids (there’s over 20 of those little fuckers!), but with my health scare this year, and all the love and support I’ve received, I thought why not???
I hardly use my cricut the rest of the year, but I bust that shit out for Christmas.
It was already a bitch to weed out all the letters before the strokes, but it was even tougher after. The strokes made my hands weaker and shakier, so it took me longer than necessary to weed all the letters. I also need more help opening jars. I used to have beautiful penmanship, but now I try to print everything I can on my computer. I only write my rent checks and sign restaurant receipts 😅 I also used to have a nice singing voice (I was in advanced choir in high school—I have the sequin dresses and nude character shoes to prove it), but after the strokes, I kinda sound like Marge Simpson 😅 I was telling the girls this story about this Manhattan Beach woman who had Alzeimer’s that I used to see missing flyers for. She went to LACMA with her husband, used the bathroom and then wandered off. I was like, “And years later, they found her BONES!” and Shi was like, “Your voice makes your stories sound 100x scarier!” 😅
That’s a wrap on 2023!
My sister had a real Christmas tree last year, but didn’t want to deal with vacuuming all the needles and having to trash it afterwards again, so she got this artificial one.
She and her husband love the real tree smell, though, so I got some fraser fir fragrance oil for my scent diffuser, and now it smells like Christmas up in this bitch.
FYI if you didn’t already know, my sister is a Potterhead.
- TOPS Malibu New Year Wish Sparkler
- Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
- WhistlePig Whiskey
- Baileys Hot Chocolate
- Sur La Table Gingerbread House Mug Topper
- Escuminac Extra Rare Canadian Maple Syrup
- Sugarfina Mistletoe Kisses
- See’s Scotchmallow Tree
- See’s Caramel Apple Lollypops
- Chili Chews Strawberry Bites
- M&M’s Holiday Milk Chocolate
- Pop Rocks
- Pelon Pelo Rico
- Dulces Vero Pica Fresa
- Furikake Chex Mix
Get you a friend who gives holiday swag bags (It’s me. I’m the friend.) ❤️💚
My sister is in Vegas again, so I’m at my parents’ house cuddling with this good boi and I’ve already burned 2 bags of popcorn in the microwave. Feels like the holidays.
BRB making spirits bright around here 🎄
What, you don’t like Irish whiskey and a massive amount of mini marshmallows in your hocho? Or do you not call hot chocolate ‘hocho’??? 😆
Only 30 more days till Christmas!
Spoiler alert, I’m the fun aunt 💰🎄🎅🏻✨
It’s leg day, y’all! 🍗
My mom’s deep fryer decided to stop working after we already dry rubbed four cornish game hens, so my uncle just deep fried them on the stove in a big ass pot of peanut oil. They turned out great! They were so small, they looked like baby birds, but I was assured these weren’t babies LOL. One time, I was watching an episode of Chopped, and one of the secret basket ingredients was a suckling goat and I burst into tears and changed the channel when I saw it. As a rule, I don’t eat any baby animals. Only fully grown animals that have had a good life 😆
Update 11/24/2023: Pammie told me that cornish game hens are slaughtered when they reach 4 WEEKS of age, so I won’t be eating them anymore 😅
King crab legs were on sale for $199 for 10 pounds at Costco! I’ve seen it upwards of $400, so this was a steal. Plus, we were near the Costco Business Center, so we went to that one and there were no lines on a Saturday!
Pumpkin pie hack: I bought a big ass pumpkin pie from Costco, used a biscuit cutter to cut out individual servings, and topped them with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. Adorable!
My banana bread fixes things in the universe.
If your family doesn’t gamble at holiday parties, are you even Asian???
If you need me, I’ll be here ✌🏼
New York in December, anyone???
I’ve always wanted to make this Strawberry Pretzel Salad (“a favorite dessert at many white trash gatherings” according to this website). It’s now a favorite dessert at Asian gatherings, and I’ll def be making it again!
I cut up some fresh fruit to confuse my body.
Pammie’s rooftop is my favorite place to watch fireworks. She has a perfect view of the Olympic Training Center.
…or how I start every 4th of July.
Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest was delayed for 2 hours because of the NYC rain, but I eventually got to watch Joey Chestnut win his 16th mustard belt 🌭
I got hot sauce in my bag, swag
– Beyoncé, “Formation”
- TOPS Malibu Single Wish Sparkler
- TOPS Malibu Confetti POP!
- Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
- Sugarfina Baby Whales
- Charms Blow Pops
- Kool-Aid Dippers
- Pelon Pelo Rico
- Dulces Vero Pica Fresa
- Tajín Clásico Chile Lime Seasoning Mini Bottle
- Pocket Sriracha Keychain
- Furikake Chex Mix
- American Flag Sunglasses
- 4th of July Bubble Wands
They’re like the goodie bags my friends give out at their kids’ birthday parties, only better (plus you don’t have to fight any kids for the Mexican candy after they hit it out of the piñata).
Happy 4th! 🇺🇸
All my dad wanted for Father’s Day was a beer on a rooftop (@ Seneca)
The dole whip at the food and craft market below was a bonus. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
You’re funnier since you had the strokes. I mean, you were always funny, but you’re funnier now.
– my mom to me after I razzed my pops
I don’t know about funnier, but I’m definitely meaner. Or maybe I’ve always been mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, get you a mom who always laughs at your jokes.
Happy Mother’s Day to all who celebrate!
Hoppy Easter (@ Bonita Valley Community Church)
I ordered some limited edition Dark Mint Scotchmallows from their website (they were sold out for St. Patty’s Day at my local See’s), and I allow myself half a piece a day LMAO.
If your mom isn’t swinging an ornament between her legs for money, is it even Christmas???
Escaping LA for the holidays be like…
…or my work sending out a departmental email letting us know that we’ll only be getting the day after christmas off instead of the entire week (like we have for the previous 7 years).
Excuse me while I open this box of fruit-by-the-foot I bought for my nephew and eat my feelings.
Who needs a christmas tree when you can just throw some lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?
3 oz merlot
¾ oz fireball whisky
1 oz orange juice
1 oz pomegranate syrup
6 pineapple tidbits
1 lime (squeeze and drop)
1 orange slice
1 cinnamon stick (for garnish)
BBQ with a side of UV this past holiday weekend.
I escaped the LA heat for Pammie’s house where she keeps the thermostat at a cool 68°. Jessie came over and was like, “68?! I only do that in a hotel!”
Uhh, is this not a hotel??? My sister’s husband told me checkout is at noon 😆
My sister’s husband is convinced that I secretly have a poster of Joey Chestnut in my apartment, and I can’t confirm or deny that.
Red, white and blue (cheese) – I was that asshole at three different grocery stores looking for that slice of heaven that is humboldt fog in the artisanal cheese aisle to complete my board.
Views and ‘cue – two of my favorite things. This private rooftop is a dream.
Not pictured: me almost lighting my hair on fire after some lunatic let me be in charge of the short ribs
Listen, sometimes you have to choose between buying a box of costco king crab legs or paying your rent. Luckily, Pammie bought these babies and afforded me another month in my studio. Ha.
Is it even a party if you don’t stock your wine fridge with white claw???
Alicia got me this icee machine for my birthday a few years ago, and I don’t know why I waited so long to bust it out (besides diabetes and the lack of counter space). I’m pretty sure Shi and I had more icees than the kids did!
Christine came through with the Crumbl cookies!
Added bonus: The rooftop has a clear view of the fireworks from the olympic training center.
I hope everyone’s 4th was as lit as the illegal fireworks we bought on the side of the road!
Thanks to Pammie for hosting the best party ever at her new digs! Same time next year???
I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive down to SD so that my beautiful mom could serve me breakfast at a pancake fundraiser. That’s love. Hope everyone had a nice mother’s day!
Christmas is over, ya filthy animals.
It’s a good thing I didn’t have to leave our hotel room to see these fireworks, because I barely made it to midnight Hawaii time!
Happy new year from this old broad (@ Prince Waikiki)
Christmas (@ Crypto.com)
There is a hell and it’s DTLA during a lakers game the week of christmas.
Not pictured: The 500 people in line for ice skating and the $40 parking garage.
This Halloween, I deep cleaned my apartment and installed a new area rug. What has become of my life?
What, your neighbor’s halloween decor doesn’t include conjoined unicorns???
11/20: You guys, they’ve updated it for Thanksgiving.
Poolside mom-osas, anyone??? (@ Lakehouse Hotel and Golf Resort)
Hope everyone had a great mother’s day!
Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.
The only shells we cracked this Easter!
BRB eating my feelings.
Sweets for my sweets ❤️
That’s a wrap on 2020! Pammie upgraded me to the new Cricut Maker, so 90% of the gifts I gave were personalized (the other 10% was whatever I could amazon prime at the eleventh hour).
This is the first holiday I’ve spent without my crazy family, and I miss all their ugly faces. Hope everyone had a safe and merry christmas!
Oh, my filipino heart. Are you trying to kill me, Disney??? 😭
Double, double, seafood boil and trouble 🖤
Views and ‘cue on this 4th of July!
I need you to be on this level if you’re going to watch the annual hot dog eating contest with me (I’m talking to you, Pamela Jean. Look alive!).
Is it even Easter if I don’t use the bunny filter when we facetime today???
That’s a wrap on 2019!
Let’s get blitzen, y’all…
“You smell like
beef and cheese alcohol.”
Cuevas family gone wild!
This is what happens when you hide a $20 bill inside a roll of costco saran wrap and tell everyone there’s $100 in there LOL!
One hour and two broken nails later…
It wouldn’t be the holidays if my grandma didn’t lose $50 playing bingo and and curse like a sailor while doing so! Ha.
…or me when my bff’s family was done going around the table saying what they were all thankful for, and her 6-year-old daughter says, “Now let’s say what we hate about each other.”
I find this kid equally amusing and terrifying.
If anyone needs me, I’ll just be out here waiting for this turkey to deep fry and my druncle to stop asking me why I’m not married yet.
One month till Christmas!
Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.
Even Rocky is bummed I have to go back to work tomorrow.
Someone please buy a house in this neighborhood so I can slang keurig cocoa in your driveway during the holidays (@ Christmas Card Lane)
The gold foil is extra, but so am I ✨
If your family doesn’t gamble at parties, are you even Asian?
I won $30 off these suckas during an intense game of LCR. I guess I’ll have to put that money towards a new Calphalon baking sheet!
Stage 5 clinger alert 🚨🚨🚨
This photo of Ray in the socks I gave him pretty much sums up the rest of my Christmas vacation (sorry for revealing your secret shame!)
I’ll have one… one of everything! (@ BJ’s Brewhouse)
Alicia and I drank our way through their holiday cocktail list. The blood orange pom fireball sangria tastes like Christmas in your mouth! It’s def going on the menu for any and all future holiday spreads.
I know so many people who are going through tough times right now (the death of a parent, the loss of their family home, and trouble conceiving, to name a few)… Besides LA traffic, my only other gripe is that I’ve been working long hours, and my postmates driver (that my work pays for) forgot to include utensils with my order last night, so I had to eat my calamari in my office with my bare hands like an animal. I feel like an asshole even mentioning it. All things considered, I have so much to be thankful for.
There is a hell and it’s the 405 during the holidays (and pretty much any other time of year).
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch (@ Redondo Beach)