Is this an actual commercial? It feels like an SNL skit 🙄

It’s giving Liam Neeson in Taken.

Also, last I checked, most mass shooters and meth heads in the US were white. Stop blaming immigrants for America’s problems.

The new Ministry of Magic inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens at Universal Orlando this year, but I hate Trump more than I love Disney or Universal Studios (I barely even go to the ones we have in SoCal), so you won’t find me in Florida or any other red state in the foreseeable future.

(via @emp.press)

Can’t believe we have four more years of this bullshit 🙄

Jessie was checking if I meant to follow Trump and Vance. I realized I was still following @potus and @vp from Biden and Kamala’s administration literally 3 days ago. You guys, I’m hardly on social media. So much so, that I tried to do the Top 9 once, and I couldn’t because I didn’t even have 9 posts that year 😅 Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to realize I was following those idiots.

Please check your social media accounts! And if you meant to follow these fools, why are we friends???

Welp, I’ve got no kids, and the unsweetened almond milk I put in my cold brew every morning is shelf-stable.

We (just barely) survived the four years Trump was elected before, we’ll survive the next four…

If not, I have a friend and old coworker who’s a digital nomad. She works completely remote (like I have for nearly 5 years now), so has spent the past year living abroad. The only downside is she has to work US (PST) hours, so depending where she is, her schedule could be completely out of wack. I looked into countries with digital nomad visas. Thailand seems the most lucrative with their visa being good for up to 5 years. Being out of the country for the duration of Trump’s entire presidency, plus I get to see Moo Deng??? Win-win ✌🏻

I woke up today to the news of Trump winning, and I got my period, ironically. It’s like my uterus was revolting against Trump’s stance on reproductive rights and abortion. How anyone could vote this convicted felon, rapist, sexist, racist, and misogynistic narcissist back into office is beyond me 🤯

I was driving behind this idiot Trumper last weekend who had the sticker ‘Proud American, Embarrassed Californian’ (among others) on their car. I’m about to cricut a ‘Proud Californian, Embarrassed American’ sticker for my car. So disappointed in America today, but especially you, Nevada, Arizona, Georgia and Pennsylvania 😔

Anyway, I might move to Spain for the next 4 years and work on a sunflower farm, IDK.

A woman’s place is in the House, the Senate, and the Oval Office

(@ Manhattan Beach Art Center)

I have waited so long, Mrs. President

There was an assassination attempt on Trump over the weekend, and I thought, ‘How is this only the first time someone tried to kill him?’ I also thought of this quote from The Wire:

How did that kid shoot him and miss? Lee Harvey Oswald was able to assassinate JFK while he was in a moving car.

Also, in unrelated news, I saw this shirt at the mall:

IYKYK 😆

Talking to Pammie about current events is like trying to find meaning in a Pauly Shore movie 😅

My sister has been in Solana Beach for work all week, so my parents are taking me to my doctor’s appointment in LA tomorrow. I got my labs back, and it was negative for lymphoma and leukemia, but my white blood cell count was still elevated and they saw some ‘abnormalities’ whatever that means. Hopefully the hematologist will have more insight for me tomorrow. At least it’s not blood cancer! 😅

If you need an abortion (whether it’s medically necessary for your health, you were raped, or you simply don’t want a baby), you’re welcome to cross over to California where abortions are safe and legal, and stay at my apartment in LA, no questions asked ✊🏼 Well, I have some questions… Like, how are you getting there, because I don’t drive 😆 The nearest Planned Parenthood is just a few miles away (I’ve been to that one and they’ve taken care of me despite their shitty Google rating!)…

OK, France is forgiven for this moment 🇫🇷 🤣

Say hello to my new best friend 😭

I’d be this happy, too, if I was doing skin-to-skin with Jessie’s husband LOL.

Luckily, we live in a state where IVF is still protected instead of backwards-ass Alabama where the practice is threatened after a recent court ruling (and abortion is also banned!). After Jessie survived breast cancer, her surrogate got pregnant with her and Abe’s very last embryo, so Isaac is truly a miracle baby 🥹

Congrats to the new parents!

FYI I get all my important news in a daily email from The Betches Sup.

P.S. Florida senators should not be commenting on California things 😒

A-fucking-men.

Caitlyn Jenner and Angelyne? Was Kanye unavailable???

When your family asks you to photoshop trash out of their picture and you turn it into treasure.

So nice of Arizona, Michigan and Wisconsin to show up 💙

When I was in high school, my friend Jocelyn was nominated for homecoming queen. She was ASB president and one of the most popular girls in school, so all my friends thought she was a shoo-in and none of us bothered to vote. She ended up tying with another girl and having to share the crown! If just one of us had voted, Jocelyn would still be friends with us today LOL. Your vote absolutely matters, whether it’s for something as trivial as homecoming court or the next POTUS!

Please exercise your right to vote and be safe out there. A few places in my neighborhood have already boarded up their storefronts ahead of tonight’s election results…