The first time I went to Rise was a magical experience. So much has happened since then… The pandemic, all my grandparents passed away, our dog died, I had a stroke, I like hockey now LOL.

The musical artist who performed when I went was Vancouver Sleep Clinic, a band I knew and reminded me of Bon Iver, but were relatively unknown. People def weren’t there for the musical artist. They really stepped it up for their 10-year anniversary! John Mayer (my guiltiest pleasure) and Patrick Watson (singer of my favorite sad French song). Vegas in October, anyone?

I want you in the worst way
Is the gate code still your birthday?

Et quand tu es seule pendant un instant
Ramasse-moi quand tu voudras
Embrasse-moi quand tu voudras

After such an unforgettable experience at Rise, we returned the next year, and it was TERRIBLE. It was raining that weekend, and we kept checking to see if the event was canceled, but they kept saying it was still happening, just to arrive earlier, because they were gonna do the initial rise of the lanterns earlier because of the weather. So we arrived early, trudged through mud because it was raining in the desert, hours passed with no update, and while I was waiting in line for a hot dog LOL, an announcement came over the speakers that the event was canceled, and we had to leave immediately and could not take the lanterns with us. Everyone was PISSED. Nobody who goes to this event actually lives in Vegas, so everyone had travelled just for this festival.

I wouldn’t mind so much if the event got rained out again this year, as long as John Mayer and Patrick Watson still performed. The rain would mask my tears (though nothing can hide my ugly crying face 😅).

I’m so sick of lemonade
All the squeeze ain’t worth the juice
Pour some sugar over mе
Still not sweet enough for you
Got a lotta shit to say
Even more you nеver do
Tell me, what’s it gonna take
To make a good thing out of you?

I shared Maren Morris with my cousin’s daughter after she told me she surprisingly likes country music now after watching Ransom Canyon on Netflix LOL. I don’t really like country music (or the conservative values associated with it), but I love Maren and have seen her live at The Greek. To me, she leans more towards pop (she has a song with Zedd, after all), and I thought Jay would appreciate Maren’s songs about female empowerment ✊🏼 She’s a single mom with twin baby girls and such a baddie 😎

Girl, won’t you stop your cryin’?
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay

She DM’d me Maren’s new album, and I am obsessed. Maren has a show at my favorite venue in SD, and I might have to go.

*googles ‘cute country concert outfits’*

(via @callmeosound)

Since there are four kids between Christine and Jessie, I told them I’d do the fifth harmony when Isaac starts talking 😆

So much on my mind
I think I think too much
Read between these lines
But time comes to rest
When you are by my side
It blurs

Just got tickets to Kevin Garrett @ Gold-Diggers in Hollywood next month. He’s celebrating 10 years of his first EP, Mellow Drama. It was the album that made me a fan of his, and I try to catch him whenever he’s in LA. He was the last show I saw before the pandemic hit, and the first show I went to after the stroke. I’m a bit of a masochist 💔

(via @nick_tellez)

(via @ben.and.zara)

(via @childishmazbino)

Usually, my instagram algorithm is nothing but dogs and Moo Deng, but these videos popped up on my feed and I’m into it 🤘🏼

‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time

I’ve been following this guy ever since I heard him sing a cover of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ on YouTube. I can’t stand Ed Sheeran, and Leroy Sanchez made this song more palatable and 1000x better 😆

So let’s just say goodbye for now
Who knows one day our time may come around

He finally dropped his first full-length album, and it did not disappoint! This is my favorite track 💔

Actual footage of me listening to this album on the drive back to LA last night 😅

Full Pink Moon tonight ✨

I know it’s gonna be a good day if I see a dog while stuck in traffic, or if I hear Hoobastank on the radio while driving.

On an unrelated note, my sister loaned me some of her Prozac until mine can get refilled later this week 🤪

Mumford & Sons – Rushmere

Light me up, I’m wasted in the dark
Rushmere, restless hearts in the end

Lord Huron – Nothing I Need

You’re the one I’ll never get
And you’re the one thing that I need

New music from Mumford & Lord Huron today 💔

Linkin Park, Evanescence and Sum 41 also released new songs today 😳 Is it 2001? Am I late for my shift at Parkway Plaza???

I’m about to relive my youth this summer! I just bought tickets to see Incubus and Hoobastank.

The last time I saw Incubus was at this same venue two decades ago (@ North Island Credit Union Amphitheater when it was formerly known as Coors Amphitheater, and has since been called Cricket Wireless Amphitheater, Sleep Train Amphitheater, and Mattress Firm Amphitheater)

The only difference between then and now is that I’ve got money to buy front row VIP tickets now 😜

The last time I saw Hoobastank was more recently at their 20th Anniversary Show (@ The Echo) But before that, it had been well over a decade!

Is it 2003? Am I 21 again? My first ever blog post in 2003 was about Hoobastank, and here I am, 22 years later, still talking about the same shit 😜

Tell me the truth
Was it worth it? Was I worth it for you?
‘Cause we were perfect, we workin’ ’til you
Forgot to tell me
You been seein’ someone else for six years

My early 2000s heart is bursting 💗

I feel my lips, they’re turning blue
Are you great or something new?
I’m so love-starved
Are you actually my type or do I just need a bite?

Since playing with the micro piglets at the mipig cafe in Tokyo, I can’t bring myself to eat pork 😩 So today, instead of my usual go-to breakfast burrito (made healthier by heating up a Smart Ones Ham & Cheese Scramble, adding hot sauce, and wrapping it inside a Carb Balance Tortilla) I made sweet potato avocado toast with soft boiled eggs and a side of turkey bacon.

Not sure if I’m sad because of my breakfast, or because I’m back at work today catching up on my emails and slack and just found out that my boss is being required to go into the office every day after five years of working from home and wondering if I’m next, or because it’s raining in LA today and I’m listening to Dashboard Confessional 😅

It’s colder than it oughta be in March

It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

On my way to my nail appointment today, I was listening to my ‘Liked Songs’ playlist on Spotify of just random songs I’ve liked over the years. This cover of Labrinth’s Jealous sung by the Vanderbilt Melodores came up, and I don’t know if it was because it was raining, or because of the dulcet tones of the all-male a cappella group led by a Korean dude, or because I got my 12-year work anniversary certificate in the mail + a voucher for a free pair of shoes today LOL, but Jesus, I got emotional 😭

Used to know you well, now I’m chasing a ghost
Dancing with your skeleton’s rattling bones

Obsessed.

Heard this song on KROQ and it’s been on repeat ever since. They remind me of Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes and Tame Impala. I really want to see them live, but they have a show in LA when I’ll be on vacation. I’ll only be gone for 2 weeks, but I’m gonna miss Innings Festival, Balu Brigada at The Echo, Phantogram at the Hollywood Palladium, Andy Grammer at The Magnolia, and Deftones at Kia Forum 😭

Live music and vino??? Yes, please.

But also…

*knees crack like a glowstick*

Cody Fry – Symphony

I used to hear a simple song
That was until you came along
You took my broken melody
And now I hear a symphony

I was going to kick off my birthday weekend by crying downtown tonight (what else is new?), but the concert I was supposed to attend has been postponed due to the state of emergency in LA 🥺

You’ll be the saddest part of me
A part of me that will never be mine
It’s obvious
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

I do a lot of things by myself and it usually doesn’t bother me—I live alone, go grocery shopping alone, go to John Mayer concerts alone LOL.

I flew by myself once on Valentine’s Day, and when I was already seated, the flight attendant was like, ‘Are you flying alone?’ I was like, ‘Uh, yes’ and he was like, ‘Do you mind sitting over here so this couple can sit together?’ I’m like, ‘First of all, yes, I mind, and second of all, it’s a fucking 45-minute flight. I think they can manage sitting apart from each other for an hour.’ JK, I totally moved, but only because I was in a middle seat and I was promised a window seat 😆

Over the weekend, I had dinner with my sister and her husband + the bestie’s family for her daughter’s 21st birthday. There was 9 of us total, so 8 of them got the chef’s special (soup, a shared appetizer and an entree). You can only order the chef’s special in pairs, and I was the odd man out as usual, so I just ordered off the regular menu.

Last night, I had a pair of tickets to finally see Chino at The Observatory North Park, but I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to go with me. Usually I’d rally and go by myself, but it was a Sunday night, and I had to drive back up to LA after. I work from home, so I could’ve stayed in SD, but I like working in my underwear being in my own space.

I remember when Shi’s husband was talking to my sister’s husband at a party, taking in the craziness around him,  and he was like, ‘I wished I met Shi sooner. So I could have had all this with her longer.’ When we told Shi what he had said, she was like, ‘He could’ve had all this sooner!’ 🤣 She liked him for years before he asked her out. Years, y’all. He just wasn’t ready yet.

Anyway, my life is not a movie, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that it may not be in the cards for me. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who treats me like shit or someone mediocre who doesn’t light my heart on fire ✌🏼

Actual footage of me waiting for the lion 😅💀

This tracks. Can’t wait to see Chino this weekend 🖤

Hey, do you wanna come over
I got a record to play ya
Like back in the day

311 dropped their new album today, and I haven’t listened to them since I’d make custom Nokia ringtones to their songs in the early 2000s 😅

What I can appreciate about a band like 311, is that, like Red Hot Chili Peppers, they haven’t changed their sound since they were popular 20 years ago. I heard this new title track on KROQ today, and I couldn’t tell if it was an old or new song.

You live too far away
Your voice rings like a bell anyway
Don’t give up your independence
Unless it feels so right
Nothing good comes easily
Sometimes you’ve got to fight

Random Fact: Nick Hexum (311’s lead singer) dated Nicole Scherzinger for 4 years and wrote Amber while he was with her.

I read some other unsavory details about Nick when I went down the google rabbit hole. Never google your heroes, folks.

311 was at Innings Fest this past year, but they were on earlier in the day, so we missed their set. I’ll be out of the country during Innings Fest next year, so I’ll have to miss Incubus, Fall Out Boy, The Black Keys, Beck, Neon Trees, Gary Clark Jr. and The Kills, among others (all of whom I’ve seen live before, but it’s been at least 10 years for most of them).

A woman’s place is in the House, the Senate, and the Oval Office

(@ Manhattan Beach Art Center)

I have waited so long, Mrs. President

I see you want a taste,
But don’t wanna wreck your life
I think you know the game,
So go ahead and take a bite

The stars have aligned, and Chino’s side band, Crosses, announced a show at The Observatory North Park. Crosses’ music is softer than Deftones, but still fronted by Chino 😍 Just bought my tickets this morning. See you next month! ✌🏻

Update: Originally had tickets to the Saturday show, but the bestie wants to have dinner that night, and I haven’t seen her once this year! Just bought tickets to their Sunday show 😅

Homemade chicken sotanghon and depressing Deftones music on this rainy Saturday ✌🏻

Just sold my GA floor ticket to the (sold out!) Dia De Los Deftones festival in San Diego this weekend on Stubhub, because I don’t know anyone on this lineup except the Deftones (among other reasons).

I was hoping to catch them on tour next year, especially with The Mars Volta opening (a band I haven’t seen live since 2008 @ SDSU!), but they’re gonna be in LA the week I’m in Japan. Pammie has to be back in the US after that first week for a work conference in Scottsdale, but I might extend my trip a few days to go to Thailand to see Moo Deng 😆

Deftones – Risk

I know what to say to take you
Higher, higher
No one else can take you higher
But I will try

The Mars Volta – The Widow

Freeze without an answer
Free from all the shame
Then I’ll hide
‘Cause I’ll never, never sleep alone

The stars will align someday, Chino 🖤

Cuz it’s you and me
Like Sid and Nancy
I can barely keep my head up
It wasn’t meant to be
It wasn’t meant to be
It’s only in my dreams
Make my bed go to sleep

Phantogram’s new album came out today ✌🏻

I first saw them at Outside Lands in 2011. We were waiting for The Joy Formidable to go on, and Phantogram performed and I was blown away. I’ve seen them live several times since then, mostly at festivals and some small shows around LA.

They’re touring next year, but their last show in LA is while I’m out of town. They have an earlier show in SD, but it’s at SOMA (an all-ages, standing room only, non-alcholic converted cinema that I haven’t been to since I was a kid). Hard pass. Mama needs a seat and her alcohol 🤪

My phone was blowing up with the news of One Direction’s Liam Payne’s untimely death today.

This was like when Prince died and everyone was texting me about it (except Shi, who was sending me corgi videos LOL).

So we play, play, play all the same old games
And we wait, wait, wait for the end to change
And we take, take, take it for granted that we’ll be the same
But we’re making all the same mistakes

IDK if it’s because I’m on my period or because I’m a teenage girl trapped in a 42-year-old’s body, but Jesus, I got emotional listening to this 1D song 😭

Me the month of October vs. me the rest of the year.

The news of Dave Grohl came out that he had a baby outside his marriage. It’s unfortunate for his wife and kids, but it doesn’t make me like the Foo Fighters’ music any less. I think The Strokes frontman, Julian Casablancas, is a total asshole (I’ve been to a couple of their shows where he proved it by walking off the stage early), but I still love The Strokes’ music and his side project band, The Voidz.

I’m not completely forgiving, though. I don’t listen to R. Kelly or Diddy’s music anymore 😅

Said I know that it’s somebody’s birthday tonight somewhere
And I know somebody’s gonna celebrate tonight somewhere

My birthdays haven’t been the same since R. Kelly was convicted of child sexual abuse in 2022 😅

me: When did we go to that Foo Fighters show in Phoenix? Last year?
Pammie: No, two years ago. We didn’t go to Innings Fest last year.
me: Why didn’t we go last year?
Pammie: Because you had a stroke!
me: Oh, yeah 😅

Keane – Somewhere Only We Know

And if you have a minute, why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go somewhere only we know?

Keane – Everybody’s Changing

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing and I don’t feel the same

Keane – A Bad Dream

And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend
I wake up, it’s a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I’m not the fighting kind
Wouldn’t mind it
If you were by my side
But you’re long gone
Yeah, you’re long gone now

Keane – We Might as Well Be Strangers

I don’t know your thoughts these days
We’re strangers in an empty space
I don’t understand your heart
It’s easier to be apart
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another town
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers

Keane at The Greek and street dogs. It doesn’t get more LA than this!

Thank you Nori and Sachi for making my first day back so amazing 🥰

Whose CD is this? Asking for a friend 😆

I feel personally attacked 😅

When I was 12, I was busy watching My So-Called Life, while other kids my age were watching soft shit like Sailor Moon. This show is the reason I love Jared Leto, men who wear flannel, and Violent Femmes 😆

Hello
I’ve waited here for you
Everlong

The last time I saw the Foo Fighters was a couple years ago at Innings Fest just a month before their drummer died. Jessie asked me if I wanted her extra tickets, but I’ve been in a mood. If I would’ve known she had a suite, I would’ve snapped out of my mood real quick 😜

I waited
And waited
Man, am I the greatest
God, I hate it
All my love and patience
Unappreciated

And we could live so happily
If no one knows that you’re with me
I’m just kidding, but really, really, really
Please, please, please don’t prove I’m right

I hate that I like this song.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is one of my favorite 80s movies (only behind Beetlejuice). No wonder I like this song so much!

starsailor – Some of Us

My wandering soul
Found solace at last
I wanted to know
How long it would last

Blue Merle – Every Ship Must Sail Away

Oh, change is in the air
And you wear it oh so well
I asked you if you cared
If you care, I couldn’t tell

José González – Heartbeats

One night of magic rush
The start a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief

Novo Amor – Faux

Shown
You swoon in your lace run
Brooding, a quilt tongue
Pining me

When I don’t have Food Network or ID on while I work, I’ve been watching old Bones episodes because they’re always showing it on BBC America and WeTV for some reason. They also have a channel called ‘ALF‘ that only shows old episodes of Alf 24/7 LOL. I used to watch Bones when it was on nearly two decades ago. I forgot how much I loved all the sad music 🖤

I want you to stay
‘Til I’m in the grave
‘Til I rot away, dead and buried
‘Til I’m in the casket you carry

Obsessed with this song.

I once went to a Billie Eilish show in 2018 when she was only 16 before all the Grammy awards. 16-year-old artists have 16-year-old fans, though, and my ears are still ringing 6 years later from all her young fans screaming. I vowed to never see her live again, but I like to listen to this song while I’m getting my steps in (if I’m not listening to my twerkout playlist).

Mega Simone – Hit Me Where The Heart Is

I’ll be who you want to
Baby please make me feel
Hit me where the heart is, let me know
What the best part is, I should grow

💔

Pammie had to go to OC for work yesterday, and there was a horrific accident on the 5, so she stopped at a cafe to wait out the traffic and enjoy a matcha green tea latte. She’s just like my dad. They would rather wait out the traffic somewhere, but I prefer to just sit in the traffic and get to my destination faster. As long as I have Spotify and a bluetooth connection, I can sit in traffic for hours. It’s usually a 2-hour drive between LA and SD, but it can take upwards of 4 hours on holiday weekends 😵‍💫 

Today, on the drive back from my doctor’s appointment in LA, we hit traffic coming back, so my dad wanted to wait it out and eat dinner somewhere. We got back on the road around 6:45pm (usually non-traffic time in SD), but it was a parking lot on the 8. An ambo, police cars and two firetrucks zoomed past us on the shoulder. ‘Maybe someone’s dead up there,’ I mused to myself, and my mom was like, ‘Marion! Why are you always so morbid?!’ When we were finally able to creep past the accident, we saw an unconscious man on the ground getting CPR from the EMTs, his mangled motorcycle just ahead of him down the road. Yikes.

Actual footage of me driving in LA traffic:

Anyway, if my sister didn’t stop in that cafe to wait out traffic, she wouldn’t have heard this song they were playing inside and sent it to me because she knew it was my steez:

If I could be by your side
I’ll give you all my life, my seasons
I can’t be your love
‘Cause I’m afraid I’ll ruin your life

I knew they were Korean! They remind me of this other alternative Korean band I stumbled upon while looking for strawberry moon vibes on Spotify – The Poles 😅

The Poles never tour the US, though, and I saw that wave to earth is doing a North American tour and coming to SD, OC and LA. Their whole tour is sold out, though! WTF? Am I a Korean fangirl now? 🫰🏻

Summertime, and the livin’s easy ✌🏻

Get you a sister who drops off a bouquet of your favorite flowers (peonies) to brighten your day when you have covid (you should be writing this down).

Full moon tonight ✨

The VIP experience (@ Kia Forum)

As Pammie, Christine and I were scarfing down our nachos, chicken tenders, burgers, and garlic fries before the show, I looked around and noticed no one else had food. I forgot people in LA don’t eat 😅

I think we broke Christine 😆

Her husband sent us a picture of her the next day wearing a JT shirt with a huge smile on her face and was like, ‘She’s been like this all morning!’ He told her being VIP at the JT show was like when he and I had floor seats at the Young the Giant show, and Christine was like, ‘IDK what metric system you’re using, but JT≠YTG.’ 🤣

Justin Timberlake, we out here ✌🏼 (@ T-Mobile Arena)

We sat in the last row on the floor, so when he moved to the stage in the back, it was like we had front row seats 😍

When Lance Bass shows up at your concert 😏

Growing up, he was tied for my least favorite *NSYNC member (with Chris). Now, he’s one of my favorites! His instagram makes me LOL. My then boyfriend got me the *NSYNC dolls for Christmas one year, except he accidentally got a duplicate of one of the members, and no Lance. My set has been incomplete since we broke up in 2005 😅

JT sang all of the hits. If you’re like me, and like to google the setlist before the show, here you go.

He didn’t sing this song, but the DJ who opened for him played this one and all the *NSYNC jams. I felt like I was 18 again. My sore stems the next day from standing for his nearly 3-hour set reminded me that I’m not, in fact, 18 anymore 😅 I forgot all about this gem. The Legends of Summer show with JT/Jay-Z at the Rose Bowl was one for the books.

I can’t wait to see him again next weekend in LA 🤪

I should be listening to my JT playlist in preparation for his concert tonight, but Incubus re-recorded and re-released my favorite album of theirs from 2001 today, so I’m just over here re-living my youth.

I’m terrified, that I’ll look back in ten years time
And still be holding onto every single memory
While you’re holding somebody who isn’t me

Alexander Stewart’s new album came out today, so I’ll just be over here crying 😭💔

Past Lives has been streaming on Showtime, so I’ll just be here for the next month 💔

You lit your cigarette
Oh, how quickly we all forget
That bed you made, you must lay in it
Lost in a fruitless cause
False hope was all you bought
Oh, and the answers didn’t seem so far

Jessie and I were supposed to see The Brook & The Bluff at the Belly Up last year, but she had to go out of town that day, so we ended up selling our tickets. The show was sold out, so we made a nice little profit. I’m so glad I get to finally see them, though. I bought tickets to their upcoming show with Stephen Sanchez at the YouTube Theater inside SoFi Stadium in LA. I have another show the week before in LA, and I figure I’ll be back by September.

I love YouTube Theater (I’ve seen Bon Iver there and may or may not have sobbed violently), but the last time I was there was to see Local Natives a couple years ago. I specifically bought front row center balcony seats so I could sit if I wanted to (mama’s too old to stand for the duration of an entire concert). They didn’t end up selling enough tickets (which I thought was odd because Local Natives are from LA, and I’ve been to shows of theirs at bigger venues), so they closed the balcony section and gave everyone who had seats up there seats on the lower level. This was never communicated to us before the show, so we took our sweet time, ate some banana pudding at Orleans & York Deli, skipped the opener, and paid $50 for parking. When we finally got there, the only seats they had left were ones where we had to stand the whole time behind these obnoxious Angelenos who talked throughout the entire show. I haven’t seen Local Natives or been back to this venue since. I’m obviously still mad about it LOL. I bought front row balcony tickets again, so hopefully they don’t do me like they did in ‘22 😅

This song always puts a smile on my face, because I think of this video whenever I hear it. I added it to my twerkout playlist so I can smile through the pain when I feel like crying (always).

I want you to notice
When I’m not around
So fuckin’ special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

🖤

Astronaut In The Ocean (Remix) – Masked Wolf feat. G-Eazy & DDG

That’s why my girl never leave me
When I’m in it, she get creamy

Dance (A$$) Remix – Big Sean  feat.  Nicki Minaj

Wobbledy wobble, wo-wo-wobble, wobbin’
Ass so fat, all these bitches’ pussies is throbbin’
Bad bitches, I’m your leader, Phantom by the meter
Somebody point me to the best ass-eater

Cockiness – Rihanna

She may be the queen of hearts
But I’mma be the queen of your body parts

No one can do you
The way that I do
Boy I want you
I love it, I love it
I love it when you eat it

She heard of my deep stroke
She said, “Babe, does it hurt when I deep throat?”

The nastier the playlist, the harder I work out 😅

The first time I heard this Smiths song live was when Morissey performed it at Fuck Yeah Fest in LA in 2015. I remember I was so high during his set, Deane looked over to me and was like, ‘Why are you crying?’ LOL.

Now I’m streaming Coachella sets from bed in my jammies at 7 o’clock on a Friday night 👵🏻

All the things I did
Just so I could call you mine
All the things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Your favorite crime, your favorite crime
‘Cause baby, you were mine

Ah, it’s been a year now
Think I’ve figured out how
How to think about you without it rippin’ my heart out
I know, you know, we know
You weren’t down for forever and it’s fine
I know, you know, we know
We weren’t meant for each other and it’s fine
But if the world was ending
You’d come over, right?

Where are you now?
Do you still think of me?
Or does your heart belong to someone else’s?
Love, oh, my love
I wonder sometimes, were you just a dream?
I sit in the dark
Wondering if our paths will ever cross again

I once danced to Janet Jackson’s Miss You Much off her Rhythm Nation album for my Modern Jazz class in 1989. I’m sure there’s a VHS tape of my performance floating around somewhere 😅

Dashboard Confessional at SOMA? Is it 2002???

I won’t be happy ’till I’m with you
Home for me is where you are

I sent Shi this post on IG that made me think of her, and we were chatting about Us the Duo breaking up. I mean, I’m unwell, but def not as sad as I was when Michael Jackson or Prince died LOL.

If you’re good enough, you’ll find a way
Maybe you could cause a girl to change her ways
Do you think about it night and day?
Maybe you could be the one to make me stay

I’m in an LA mood
I don’t wanna talk to you
She said, “Give me a day or two”
I go ’round and ’round
Satellite
Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in
I can see you’re lonely down there
Don’t you know that I am right here?

I miss crying at the cemetery 🖤

Patrick Watson has a show tonight at the Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever, and I would totally go if I was back in LA…

Yeah, you know I was blinded by my heart
Sinking from the start
Should’ve never followed you this far
Now I’m in the deep end
And you let me drown
You didn’t even try to save me
You let me drown
You didn’t even try to save me
But sometimes
Sometimes I sit and fantasize
Maybe sometime in another life
We could’ve got it right, got it right

The more I listen to this album, the more I love it 🖤

This song came up on my spotify under “recommended,” and I’ve been laughing for a million years.

Big Brother 👀

I’m usually weary of places I travel to where I don’t see any other Asians, and even though I literally didn’t see a single Asian there (except the Koreans who worked at the Bowl & Roll at the Farmers’ Market LOL), everyone was so nice to us. I love that everyone said, “y’all,” and called me, “baby.”

Our airbnb was in East Nashville (or “East Nasty” as the locals call it LOL), and it was Dolly Parton-themed.

The SEC College Basketball Tournament was going on this weekend, so Broadway was packed. I didn’t know they called Nashville “Nash Vegas.” It was that lively, but much cleaner. Also, they have an open container policy like Vegas does (I saw a bunch of signs at the airport that guns weren’t allowed past the TSA checkpoint, so they must be open carry here, too). Someone spreading the word of the lord on a megaphone handed me a pamphlet on the street, but I was in a hurry on my way to Justin Timberlake’s restaurant LOL. Plus, I’m beyond being saved 😅

I heard you taste like cotton candy, baby, I’m just tryna see
I heard you wanna leave with me, if so, I do agree
You heard that I could get your body where it needs to be
Uh, look, you have no idea
But if you’re really curious

I promise that the real thing
It’s better than your imagination

JT’s new album came out this weekend, so it was only fitting we hit up his restaurant (@ The Twelve Thirty Club)

The food was amazing. The rooftop bar had bubble machines. The girl singing in the live band sounded like she could be a recording artist.

The drink I ordered was called the Basic AF Mule LOL.

If I were to ever move to Nashville, I’d live in the 12South neighborhood. It reminded me so much of North Park, where every craft house had a porch, and everyone had a dog.

We spent Saturday morning here. We had coffee and biscuits with chorizo sausage gravy at Frothy Monkey, donuts at Five Daughters Bakery, cookies at Christie Cookie Co (they supply the DoubleTree Hotel with all their chocolate chip cookies), and did our own walking tour of all the murals.

We did the Chef’s Choice menu and loved everything (@ Butcher & Bee)

My favorite dish of the weekend was the Avocado Crispy Rice, but everything they brought out was sooo good. This restaurant was also across the street from our airbnb, so we were able to walk there and roll ourselves home.

IDK if it’s because Asian don’t raisin, but I got carded everywhere I ordered a drink. This drunk girl at the table next to us was talking to us at dinner because she said she and her sister were the only ones drinking in their group and she thinks her friends were tired of them LOL. She was in her 20s and refused to believe we were in our 40s, so Donna showed her a picture of her 26-year-old son, who Donna had when we were in high school. That girl thought Donna’s son was cute (his dad is half white and half filipino and looks mexican, so his buddies call him, “Chino” 😆) and coincidentally lives in the same town her son lives in. She was like, “Tell him to go to Hawkers and I’ll take care of him!” Ha. Thanks for making me feel so young, Nashville 👧🏻

Self-care Saturday.

After dinner, our 42 and 43-year old asses were tired after being out all day (we woke up at 6am!), so we went back to the airbnb and did some Korean face masks and under eye patches.

A great way to show me you know nothing about me is to invite me to watch the sunrise at the butt crack of dawn 😆 There were two other couples at this lookout point watching the sunrise, and I was like, “Never once have I gotten up this early to watch the sunrise with a boy, let alone two married women.” LOL. They’re both super type A, and I’m really disorganized and not a morning person. My old coworker and dear friend is also type A, and we got along swimmingly. She never minded that I was so messy. She once told me, “You make concessions for the people you love.” 🥹 So I will get up at the butt crack of dawn for the people I love LOL. But I will not use packing cubes or fold my panties. That’s where I draw the line 😆

Donna loves Husk in South Carolina, so she said we had to try the one in Nashville, and it didn’t disappoint (@ Husk)

She also made all of our reservations, and everywhere we went, she told them we were celebrating my birthday 🥳

I’m just here for the kettle corn. And the baby goats. And the grumpy dwarf rabbit named Tito (@ Lucky Ladd Farms Tulip Festival)

I don’t usually like Indian food, but I couldn’t go to Nashville without trying one of Maneet Chauhan’s restos (@ Chauhan Ale and Masala House)

Maneet is a staple on Food Network, and she even won season 2 of Tournament of Champions (her TOC belt was at the resto!). I ordered the Tandoori Chicken Poutine which was life changing. Pammie’s favorite dish of the whole trip was here—Lamb Korma. As a rule, I don’t eat baby animals (just adult animals who have lived a full life LOL), so I didn’t try it, but it’s their most popular dish.

We spent our last night in a Dolly Parton-themed bar on top of the Graduate hotel (@ White Limozeen)

It probably wasn’t a good idea to do champagne jell-o shots when I had a 6am flight the next morning, but when in Nashville, darlin’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Till next time, Nashville ✌🏼

Even though I ate everything I wanted to, I didn’t get a single high glucose alert on my phone. It’s because we did so much walking. My calves burn with the fire of a thousand suns, and I’ve been rubbing massage oil into my legs since we got back. My sister and mom get notifications when my blood sugar is too high, so having sore stems was worth not getting hassled about what I’m eating.

My sister’s husband picked us up from the airport, and he was like, “You look fatter. Not your body, just your face.” I’m like, “Uhh, thanks?” #1 How dare you? #2 I’m the skinniest person in this car #3 I will punch you where I stand and #4 I would never tell someone they looked fatter, even if they did. If anything, I would lie and say they looked skinnier, even if they didn’t! Excuse me while I go starve myself and cry into my green juice and drink my tears.

Nashville’s only two hours ahead, but I’m still jetlagged as fuck for some reason 😅

Justin Timberlake – Pusher Love Girl

Hey little mama
Ain’t gotta ask me if I want to
Tell me, can I get a light?
Roll you up and let it run through my veins
‘Cause I can always see the farthest stars when I’m on you
I don’t wanna ever come down off this cloud of loving you

I’ll just be here if you need me 🫠

Kolohe Kai’s gonna be at the Del Mar Fair this summer. Does anyone want to go??? I used to not like Hawaiian music, but I had such a good time in Kauai, and my paradise playlist has been on rotation ever since. Plus, my friend would always listen to Hawaiian radio when I worked in the office, and every time I’d go to her office, a Hawaiian version of Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me” would be playing, and I’d be like, “Is this our song?!” 🤣

And the reason es tú

I was listening to Hoobastank on Spotify LOL and came across this Latin version of The Reason! I used to think the mark of a good zumba class was if they played Pitbull or Marc Anthony, but I would go fucking loca if they played this song 🤪

I can’t even look at Jack Black without thinking of my friend, Jay 🤣

Extreme is playing the Ryman in Nashville next weekend when I’ll be there LOL. I’d rather see Jack Black doing covers…

Deftones are playing a music festival in Spain when I’ll be there, but I’ll be 8 hours away from Barcelona that day. I don’t think I’ll be able to swing it, but I love going to concerts when I’m traveling 🖤

I tell myself you don’t mean a thing
And what we got, got no hold on me
But when you’re not there, I just crumble

When I worked in the office, my office was next to my boss’ office. She would hear all the sad music I’d listen to through our shared wall and be like, “Is everything okay?” LOL. Occasionally, she’d pop in to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my mouse cord (just kidding, my mouse was wireless). Since she knew I loved depressing music, she introduced me to this song years ago, and it recently came up on my spotify 🖤

OK, I can start my day now 😅

What in the Indecent Proposal? 🫠

Deftones are gonna be at Coachella this year, but as much as I love live music, I think I would hate going to that festival. I remember a group of girls from my work went the year Tame Impala headlined, and I asked how Tame Impala was when they came back, and they were like, “Who???” 🙄 People just go to this festival to be seen and wear cute outfits…

🖤

I’m not worried about where you are
Or who you go home to
I’m just thinkin’ about you

I had tickets to see Harry Styles, but they rescheduled his tour because of covid, and I opted for a refund instead. He played 15 sold-out shows in LA, and I didn’t go to a single one of them. It has been my #4 regret in life ever since (#3 is running into Milo Ventimiglia at an otherwise empty NYC subway station in 2005 and not asking him to father my children. Don’t ask me what the first two are—I’m taking them to my grave!). It’s raining today, so it’s a good time to bust out this album and ruminate over all of my life regrets.

Cage the Elephant, Young the Giant and Bakar??? Yes, please.

🖤

He’s so tall and handsome as hell
He’s so bad, but he does it so well
And when we’ve had our very last kiss
My last request is
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again
Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

It’s two in the morning
I don’t need nobody else
But you’re my tragedy

Young the Giant is always a good idea.

Rolling in hella deep, headed to the mezzanine
Dressed in all pink ‘cept my gator shoes, those are green
Draped in a leopard mink, girl standing next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets (piss)
But shit, it was 99 cents

Macklemore was surprisingly entertaining and brought attention to what’s happening in Gaza.

I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask, and neither should you

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

And it’s worth it, it’s divine
I have this some of the time

At night I cry and howl at the moon

The world I love, the tears I drop
To be part of the wave, can’t stop
Ever wonder if it’s all for you?

And I thought my festival ‘fit was fire 😅 (@ Innings Festival)

The ice machines were down at the airport this morning, so they couldn’t serve iced coffee anywhere. I had to pick up some overpriced bottled bullshit from Hudson News. Then I got the window seat in an aisle with no window on our flight LOL. Hopefully the rest of my weekend goes smoother 😅

I think I like this little life

Rainy day tunes 🌧️

Friyay vibes ✌🏼

My worlds colliding ♥️

I used to doordash Mcdonald’s for breakfast every morning, even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment. Now, I only treat myself to this meal every few months after some routine blood tests 😅 Or when I’m happy to pay $300 to get my car out of a tow yard because I initially thought someone stole it (a Mcdonald’s breakfast is celebratory. Fight me).

P.S. I’m so excited to see Phantogram at Innings Fest, even though I’ve seen them live a million times since I first saw them at Outside Lands in 2011. I’ve actually already seen a lot of the bands that will be there (Young the Giant, Hozier, Jimmy Eat World, Red Hot Chili Peppers). What can I say, I’m a repeat offender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sade covers on this rainy Monday.

I’ll just be here the rest of the weekend 🫠

I heard this song on Chel’s instagram post about her stay at Jacumba Hot Springs Hotel, but I thought they were saying “chainsaw daydreams” instead of “chase our daydreams” LOL. I’ve been listening to too many true crime podcasts 😅

So if I get jealous, I can’t help it
I want every bit of you, I guess I’m selfish
It’s bad for my mental, but I can’t fight it, when
You’re out lookin’ like you do, but you can’t hide it, no

Currently on rotation ❤️

My sister and her husband were on some “dinner playlist” music channel on TV, and her husband was like, “Why does this sound like a song Mayan would like?” and my sister looked up and it was Lord Huron. She was like, “Yep. She loves this band.” What can I say, I’m partial to sad indie music ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One time, we were at a Lord Huron show, and my sister was like, “I can’t find this band on Instagram” (she was trying to tag them in her story), and I look over at her phone and she had typed, “Lady Huron” LOL. I was like, “You know it’s ‘Lord Huron’ right?” 🤣

I’ll just be here for the rest of the day.

Nori messaged me earlier and was like, “Still busy?” I’ve been super busy at work this week, because I’m still catching up from being on vacation and being out sick from my tummy ache last week. I was like, “Yeah, don’t they know I’m trying to win JT tickets over here?!” 😅

He said, “baby, ” that’s what he called me, “I love you”
Every single word you say makes me feel some type of way
It’s the thought of you that slightly scares me
But it takes my breath away, forget what I was gonna say
The day that I met you, I started dreaming
Now I write ’em down if I remember in the morning time

I just want a daddy who sends me songs that make him think of me 😆 I told Jessie to tell Nixon (who’s in middle school), it doesn’t get easier in your 40s 😅

I was fine getting general admission tickets, but Pammie insisted we treat ourselves to VIP passes. YOLO ✊🏼 Is it February yet???

BRB crying.

Forbidden love is like my favorite trope, and if you’ve never seen Moulin Rouge!, Christian (a writer) and Satine (the star of the Moulin Rouge) are secretly in love, but they need the duke to invest in the club to keep it afloat, and the duke wants Satine, so she pretends to be in love with him. Christian gets jealous and writes this song for Satine to sing in the show so whenever they sing it, it means they still love each other, and my heart bursts every time I hear it ♥️ Also, Ewan Mcgregor has the voice of a goddamn angel, and I’m still salty that he was robbed of an oscar nom in 2002. That is all.

It’s officially been a year since I checked into the hospital after the incident 😅 Life took a 180 after the pandemic, and another 180 after having the strokes, so I’ve done a complete 360 and am back to where I started 😆 So grateful to still be here today and celebrate with this chocolate vanilla swirl pudding snack (yes, I instacarted this jello, and yes, it’s sugar-free).

Sidenote: Adan Canto, who played Arman Morales on The Cleaning Lady, passed away yesterday after a private battle with cancer 💔 I don’t usually get choked up about celebrities dying (unless it’s Paul Walker, Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Anthony Bourdain, Kobe… ok, maybe I do). I can’t believe he’s gone. He was my age. Life is short. Give your loved ones a big hug today…

I’m vanilla, baby
I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby

I was going through my music tag, and I came across this Dia de los Deftones post where I was excited about Mike Shinoda being there. I just noticed Doja Cat on the flier! I didn’t know who she was 5 years ago, but she was my top artist on Spotify this year. If that was the current lineup, I’d totally be there.

How my demons look?! 😈

BRB, listening to Hoobastank’s 20th Anniversary Limited Edition LP ✌🏼

P.S. Hoobastank liked and reposted my instagram story 💀

This tracks. Although I would’ve thought Hoobastank would’ve made the cut, but Spotify stops tracking sometime in November, and I didn’t have them on heavy rotation until after that in preparation for their 20th anniversary show in December.

Reliving my youth (@ The Echo)

I started off my morning by doordashing a spanish latte and sunrise pizza from Urth Caffé. I went to my doctor’s appointment and Dr. Joshi had nothing but good things to say about me (the first time I saw him earlier this year, he said I was “hanging on by a thread” 😅). I went through 4 months worth of mail and had over $700 in checks from overpaying for my health bennies during my medical leave. The Echo’s up the street from Guisados on Sunset, so we ate some delicious tacos before watching Hoobastank at The Echo. Not to be dramatic or anything, but yesterday was the best day of my life.

I haven’t seen Hoobastank live since they opened for Linkin Park on their Meteora tour in 2004! Fun fact: Hoobastank went to high school with Linkin Park members (Mike Shinoda, Rob Bourdon and Brad Delson). I felt like a kid again watching them. Like, is it 2003? Am I about to get a charlie horse after watching them at Canes??? 😆 I was reminded that I’m not, in fact, a kid anymore when we walked back to the car and we didn’t have to pay for metered street parking because of my handicap placard, and when I was falling asleep on the drive home before midnight 😅

Shoutout to the guy standing in front of me wearing a Yellowcard hoodie 😂

Only two things about LA still warm this heart—the food and live music.

Update: You guys, Hoobastank liked my Instagram story 💀

So with flour on my hands
I’ll show them all how
Goddamn happy I am

What if when he sees me
I like him and he knows it?
What if he opens up a door
And I can’t close it?

BRB crying (@ AMC UTC 14)

Waitress is my favorite musical ever. Yes, over Hamilton. They both debuted in 2016, and Waitress was nominated for four Tony Awards, but Hamilton swept the Tony’s that year (Sara Bareilles was robbed, IMO). They’re showing the musical for a few days at the movie theatre, so I had to watch it with Shi (who was lucky enough to catch the musical on Broadway) and Pammie (who watched it with me here in San Diego). I made us some deep shit dish apple pie to celebrate. Just kidding. I instacarted a Julian Pie from Vons 😅 Ain’t nobody got time to bake a pie from scratch!

I put the pie slices in mason jars like they served at the musical for us to eat at the movie theatre because I’m extra. Shi was like, “Were they selling these outside?” And I was like, “No, I made them. Well, I bought the pie. I just put it in jars and made the label.” 😅 She was like, “I was just trying to make it here on time!”

It only takes a taste
When it’s something special
It only takes a taste
When you know it’s good
Sometimes one bite is more than enough
To know you want more of the thing you just got a taste of

We watched the musical live at the Civic Theatre, but they took it off Broadway in 2020, so I never got to see Sara Bareilles play the lead role in NYC. She did a small run with Jason Mraz playing her doctor, but I couldn’t find anyone who could just go to NYC for the weekend to watch it. I guess I don’t know anyone who flies by the seat of their very chill pants like I do! I hope they release it digitally so I can cry watch it at home whenever I want.

At the end of this life are you happy?
Are you good with the choices you made?
Are you being yourself or just acting?
Do you wish you could start again?
When you’re on your last legs, on your death bed
When your life flashes before your eyes
Do you like who you’re with in that movie?
Or do you belong in mine?

Blake Rose songs on this cold ass day 🥶 (Yes, 60° is cold af to this San Diegan).

And it’s worth it, it’s divine
I have this some of the time

Kevin Garrett covering my favorite Hozier song ♥️

Only 30 more days till Christmas!

Spoiler alert, I’m the fun aunt 💰🎄🎅🏻✨

I hardly ever post on my personal instagram account (one time, I went to do one of those “top 9 posts of the year,” but I couldn’t because I didn’t have 9 posts LOL). I post on my chenford account pretty often, though! Today, this video I edited to The Reason hit 10,000 likes, one of them being from HOOBASTANK! IDK if I’m more stoked Hoobastank liked my video or more embarrassed that they know (and now you know) I’m such a fan girl 😅

This is my favorite Young the Giant song, and I love that they included it on their live album that came out today. I can’t wait to see them again at Innings Fest, even though I’ve seen them at least ten times in the past decade (including at the inaugural Innings Fest!).

Novo Amor and homemade chicken sotanghon on this rainy Wednesday 🌧️

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes and Trolls Band Together also come out on November 17. What a time to be alive.

Phantogram, Hozier, and Young the Giant??? Yes, please.

Wasted
You tell the truth when you could’ve lied
And troubles are on the rise ’cause you’re in disguise, oh
And if it isn’t me
Then pack your bags and leave

I couldn’t utter my love when it counted
Ah, but I’m singing like a bird ’bout it now

Oh girl, I’ve got that silvertongue
Got, got that silver, silvertongue
Drives you into delirium
Got, got, that silver, got that silvertongue like

Ever since I saw a Hoobastank was having a 20th anniversary show, I’ve been listening to my playlist that I made in 2017 when I was feeling nostalgic. It contains songs from bands I liked 20 years ago (Hoobastank, Incubus and Linkin Park). If you want to take it back a few more years, you can listen to my resurrection sunday playlist and pretend it’s 2001.

Doja Cat – Need to Know (@ Viejas Arena)

I heard from a friend of a friend
That that dick was a ten out of ten
I can’t stand it, just one night me
Clink with the drink, gimme a sip
Tell me what’s your kink, gimme the dick
Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me
Uh, wait, I can take it
Give a fuck ’bout what your wifey’s sayin’

I wanted to dress up for the Doja show and her new album has pearl spiders on the cover. I once saw Phoebe Bridgers perform on SNL in a custom Gucci pearl skeleton ribcage necklace and I’ve always wanted to recreate it. It turned out better than I expected! Plus it went great with my skeleton bone nails.

It’s all in the details 💀

Bitch, I said what I said
I’d rather be famous instead
I let all that get to my head
I don’t care, I paint the town red
Mm, she the devil
She a bad lil bitch, she a rebel
She put her foot to the pedal
It’ll take a whole lot for me to settle

It’s the things we love most that destroy us

I’m def watching this!

New York in December, anyone???

I don’t got nobody, just with you right now
Tell the truth, I look better under you
I can’t lose when I’m with you
How can I snooze and miss the moment?
You just too important
Nobody do body like you do

I miss the thought of you and nothing else

Sad French songs on this rainy day.

My love, where are you?

Whenever you’re ready, whenever you’re ready
Whenever you’re ready, whenever you’re ready
Can we, can we surrender?

I heard this song in a puppy surprise video and have been crying ever since.

Because I’m still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon

Last supermoon of the year today ✨

Just let me take you to a better place
I’m gonna make you kiss the sky tonight
Yeah, if you let me show the way
I’m so excited to see you excited

A new *NSYNC song wasn’t on my bingo card for 2023, but neither was having 2 strokes 😅 This year is full of surprises!

My Mount Rushmore of *NSYNC songs 💕

I hope you’re happy
I wish you all the best, really
Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me
And think of me fondly when your hands are on her
I hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier

My sister’s husband heard me blasting Olivia Rodrigo from my room and came by to make sure I wasn’t hanging from my curtain rod. My door was only open because the sun faces this room in the afternoon and it gets super hot in here. I’m gonna get this blackout window film so I can cry in peace block out the sun.

I want you in the worst way
Is the gate code still your birthday?

John Mayer has an intimate show at The Wiltern next week, but I got waitlisted. If you’re able to get tickets, I will find a way to get to LA. He’s my guiltiest pleasure 😅