I’ll just be here from 9-10pm on Mondays for the next 2 months ✌🏼

Update: Logan Sandoval (winner of Barbecue Showdown, owner of ZEF BBQ in LA, and love of my life) is a contestant on this new season of BBQ Brawl, and my ass is wide awake now!

Just Selena ‘sausage-maker’ Gomez living the dream at Moo’s Craft Barbecue in LA on today’s episode of Selena + Restaurant.

• TOPS Malibu A Sparkling Toast Wish Sparkler
• The Bruery “Goses are Red” Beer
• Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
• Favorite Day Valentine’s Hot Cocoa Spoons
• Compartes California Love Pretzel Dark Chocolate Bar
• Ghirardelli Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
• Lindt Lindor Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Truffles
• Godiva Dark Chocolate Hearts Bar
• Dove Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Hearts
• Dove Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
• Reese’s Valentine’s Day Peanut Butter Hearts
• Twix Valentine’s Minis
• Kit Kat Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate Wafers
• Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramels
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Kisses
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Hugs & Kisses
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate
• M&M’s Valentine’s Milk Chocolate
• Sour Punch Valentine’s Cupid Straws
• Haribo Valentine’s Goldbears Gummi Candy
• Starburst FaveREDs Fruit Chews
• Charms Valentine’s Pops
• Skittles Valentine’s Exchange Kit
• Skittles Valentine’s Wild Berry Exchange Kit
• Pelon Pelo Rico

My sister’s husband heard me huffing and puffing up their stairs and he’s like, “What you got there?” and I was like, “Target delivery. I bought all this candy for Valentine’s Day.” And he’s like, “You making gift bags? You’re such a good friend doing this every holiday, but I’ve never seen someone send you a gift bag!” I’m not the kind of person who gives expecting something in return ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Giving is my love language, y’all ❤️💕 Well, BBQ is also my love language (I’m hella lingual).

Valentine’s Day may be a made up holiday, but these goodies are very real 😋

I also made these matching “On Godric” shirts for my sister and her husband. I’m not hood or a Potterhead (so I’ve never said, “on God,” and def have never said, “on Godric” LOL) and IDK what the fuck this dude is saying, but Pammie and D like him 😆

Doing a little preemptive juice cleanse before my doctor’s appointment. The holidays and my special relationship with BBQ does not bode well for my upcoming blood tests this week 😅 (Yes, I know your A1C levels go back 3 months. Just let me).

Smoked wings, anyone???

I smoked them and then air-fried them so they were extra crispy. It smells like BBQ up in this bitch. This is what I imagine heaven smells like. I’ll request BBQ for my last meal in case I’m not headed there 😅

I got my sister’s husband a Ninja Woodfire 8-in-1 Outdoor Oven for Christmas, partly because it gets hot enough to make pizzas, but mostly because it’s also a smoker and I love me some smoked meats.

For Pammie’s birthday, the girls got together for a pizza party on her rooftop. The oven works sooo well and fast. It cooked the pizzas faster than we could make them!

Chel brought us dick chips! They were salty and meaty with a vinegar backnote 😆

What should we make next? These smoked wings I once had at Alpine Beer Company that I still have dreams about? An entire smoked brisket??? 😜

Jessie asked me to make her baby shower invitation, so I’m asking all the important questions 😆

FYI Humboldt Fog is my favorite cheese (you should be writing this down). Christine was telling us a v serious story about meeting up with her pregnant friend who also has cancer at Plaza Bonita, and I was like, “Wait, is the Popeye’s open in the food court?” Some people say I have no tact, but that Popeye’s had a big ass “Opening Spring 2023!” painted on the wall, and it was Halloween and still not open! It has since opened if you’re wondering 😅

Also, while researching baby shower invites, I found this cute Baby-Q invitation. Anyone wanna go halfsies on a baby so I can throw myself a Baby-Q???

Is he happily married, though??? 😜 JK.

Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to win some brisket from zef.daddy.

I love Filipino Kare Kare, and this restaurant makes it with BRISKET. I have to try it! BRB, looking up flights to Houston.

Before the incident, my sister’s husband said I used to eat like I was high all the time. Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Takis, Cup-O-Noodles… Pretty much anything you can doordash after 10pm or buy at the gas station LOL. I used to eat dinner really late and fast food is the only option available at that time. Plus I just genuinely liked processed food and had access to free soda and vending machines at work. I haven’t gone into the office in over three years, I don’t drink soda anymore, and I eat dinner at 6pm now 👵🏼

I found these plant-based ramen noodles that don’t exceed my sodium intake for the day. Apolo Ohno is an investor, if that helps sway you at all. I added some chili garlic crisp, green onions, tofu, crushed red pepper and an egg to jazz it up.

I don’t even know who I am anymore eating plant-based food, having dinner before the sun goes down, and saying shit like, “jazz it up” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My friend asked if I was going vegan with all this plant-based bullshit, but I’m just trying to find healthier alternatives and cut back on the salt. I could never give up BBQ. Gotta risk it for the brisket!

I’ve been to 3/20 places on Eater’s 20 Essential BBQ Restaurants in LA, Spring 2023 list (Bludso’s, Slab & Maple Block Meat Company). Anyone want to try the other 17 with me??? I also have a BBQ bucket list if you feel like traveling.

…or me telling everyone I know about Barbecue Showdown.

Mmm, Daddy 😈

Logan Sandoval is my favorite contestant on Barbecue Showdown.

He has a weekend pop-up in LA. Who’s coming with me???

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

The second season of Barbecue Showdown came out today on Netflix, so these are my plans for the weekend.

I’ve been to BBQ Showdown judge Kevin Bludso’s original location in Compton. He’s since moved to Fairfax, and he’s opening a location in Santa Monica this summer. Take me with you, and I’ll treat you to a Pink’s chili dog and some Brambleberry Crisp ice cream from Jeni’s after! None of which will hold up to my apartment in Redondo, so we’ll just have to eat it there! I hope you’re hungry 😏

BBQ with a side of UV this past holiday weekend.

I escaped the LA heat for Pammie’s house where she keeps the thermostat at a cool 68°. Jessie came over and was like, “68?! I only do that in a hotel!”

Uhh, is this not a hotel??? My sister’s husband told me checkout is at noon 😆

Fuck, can I get pregnant from this??? 😳

APL is doing BBQ pop-ups all summer at Strand Brewing Co, and I am here for it.

Smoked short ribs + doughnuts: a love story.

Dining at Majordōmo Meat & Fish was a religious experience. Can all of my meals be prepared tableside???

Ditch day with my favorite 40-year-old at my favorite place (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

It took me four hours to drive from LA to SD this holiday weekend! The bestie is lucky I love BBQ her.

Happiest birthday to my favorite little pitmasters (who coincidentally also love BBQ and being in their birthday suits).

Hello, old friend (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

A year ago, I would have never thought that eating at a restaurant and spending time with friends would be such a rarity. This is the first time I’ve hung out with the bestie or been back at Grand Ole BBQ since my birthday weekend last year. It was nice to feel a sense of normalcy again, but when I saw that drunk girl dancing offbeat at the bar with no mask on, I took that as my cue to leave!

Best birthday gift EVER.

Pammie surprised me with BBQ from my favorite spot in Texas, and I didn’t even have to wait in line for hours to get it!

The first time I ate Franklin Barbecue was years ago on a trip to Austin City Limits. It was day-old brisket reheated in a hotel microwave, but it was (and still is) the best BBQ I’ve ever had.

Views and ‘cue on this 4th of July!

I love that Christine’s birthday is so close to mine, especially when her husband throws her a surprise party at my favorite BBQ spot! (@ Grand Ole BBQ)

The girls gave me the best gift ever: music and travel! I can’t wait to see Tame Impala in Portland!!!

Thanks to Chel, Christine and the old man in a hawaiian shirt at the bar for buying me all those birthday drinks (and even more thanks to Alicia for picking my ass up and Ray for driving my car home).

When the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I was two burritos deep and lying on the floor at Alicia’s house. This is 38, guys.

Roger is my spirit animal.

Nothing says ‘Murica like BBQ and corn chips (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

I had to try my beloved beef rib el borracho style (as featured on DDD!) with my favorite borrachos this 4th of July weekend. Def could go easier on the queso, but I am here for this bed of corn puddin’ y’all!

Jessie’s birthday BBQ (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

I missed pre-BBQ beers at Alpine because of stupid LA traffic, but I made it before they sold out of ribs this time! Can all my friends celebrate their birthdays here??? I would get on the 405 during rush hour for BBQ you.

Ribs in bed??? MARRY. HIM. NOW.

Fuck, can I get pregnant from this??? (@ Slab BBQ)

Slab has been on my BBQ bucket list, but they usually sell out by the time I get off work. I’ve been sick at home for the past couple of days, so I finally went for lunch today. They usually don’t serve beef ribs on weekdays, but today was my lucky day! I’ve been following them on instagram since they sold BBQ out of their backyard, and their ribs and brisket were some of the best I’ve ever had! Def my new LA fave.

Just when I thought I couldn’t get any luckier, we were sitting outside Milk having dessert afterwards when WEEZER and Fred Armisen roll past us down Beverly Blvd on a flatbed performing Say It Ain’t So (my favoritest Weezer song EVER) like it’s no bigs! Only in LA…

Thanks to whoever gave me this nasty cough at work! If it weren’t for you, I would’ve never been in Fairfax in the middle of a Tuesday living my best life.

Welp, there goes my dinner plans (@ Grand Ole BBQ y Asado)

When they sell out of your beloved beef ribs, you just order everything else on the menu, right?

Birthday beers (@ Thorn St. Brewery)

I tell everyone I know that my favorite ice is the nugget kind they have at Sonic, and it was so thoughtful of Christine to remember.

The last time I brought sangria to her house, I asked her beforehand if she had ice, and Pammie was like, “Of course she has ice, she’s an adult!” and I was like, “But I never have ice at my place.” And she was like, “Exactly.” I mean. Who needs ice when you keep the vodka in the freezer???

The girls think this is what I sound like, and I ain’t even mad. Thanks for dinner, drinks, my new sound bar, and a much needed girls night! Love you b’s.

ILYSM (@ Grand Ole BBQ Flinn Springs)

My most favorite BBQ spot in San Diego (and all of California) just opened a second location near the bestie’s house in east county. It’s bigger and less busy than its North Park flagship, and more importantly, it has a full bar (the original location doesn’t serve alcohol, but you can BYOB). It should def be on your BBQ bucket list! Also, if you don’t have a BBQ bucket list, how are we even friends???

A few of my favorite things…

109° weather calls for frosé all day (@ The Pioneer)

Birthdays, BBQ and BYOB (@ Grand Ole BBQ y Asado)

Thanks to everyone who came out last night ♥

Bumble bio update: Must hate smoked BBQ beef ribs.

My Austin City Limits trip was cut short due to my grandma’s passing, and Anthony had the time of his life those first few days without me. He hit up the Dirty Sixth with Austin locals he made friends with and ended up giving one of them my Friday wristband. They saw all the bands I wanted to see. I’m bummed I missed Tame Impala and Leon Bridges among others, but luckily I didn’t have to wake up at an ungodly hour on Saturday and wait with him in that 4-hour line for Franklin. Day-old brisket reheated in a hotel microwave and eaten in my chonies still tasted better than any BBQ I’ve ever had in California!

I flew in Saturday night and met up with Anthony at an Irish pub downtown. Fado is the official US soccer bar in Austin, and it’s surrounded by gay bars on 4th Street. My uber driver was convinced he was taking me to see my gay friend once I told him where I was headed LOL. I mean, it would explain so much… After US lost to Mexico, we hit up Firehouse (a cool little speakeasy inside a hostel) and Rainey Street. I loved, loved, loved it there. Rainey Street is a block of old houses converted into themed bars. We stayed till last call, and all I remember from that night is a lot of Ludacris and stanky legs. You don’t realize how drunk you are until you’re walking the hotel halls in nothing but your dress slip looking for a beverage machine so you could wash down some tylenol at three in the morning.

We didn’t wake up early enough to stand in line for BBQ before the festival on Sunday, but we stopped by Torchy’s Tacos before we made our trek to Zilker Park. There was a lot of walking. Like. A LOT. Before, during and after the festival. In nearly 100 degree heat. And in sandals that had 0% arch support (but were 100% cute, obvs). This was definitely not Portland where we had a local friend with a car, ample public transportation, and weather that was 50 degrees cooler. The highlight of my day happened just before BØRNS’ set when the sun disappeared behind the only cloud in the sky for half a minute and everyone cheered. BØRNS, Sylvan Esso and Hozier’s sets were very close seconds. So were those two snow cones we each had.

Before I knew it, it was Monday and time to check out. Anthony hit up the gym in the morning while I stayed my ass in bed. We ate lunch at Valentina’s Tex Mex where Anthony had brisket tacos and I had a beast of a beef rib with the most beautiful smoke ring. We strolled down South Congress afterwards and drank micheladas for three hours at a bar inside Hotel San Jose. We got to the airport early to watch the Chargers lose, and I asked the TSA guy if the Starbucks was before or after the security gate. He ruined my mom’s life and told me that there’s no Starbucks at all, because Austin is all about supporting local businesses. I get a Starbucks mug for my mom whenever I travel, and she’s just gonna have to be happy with the mug I got her during my layover in Phoenix!

All things considered, I’m glad I was able to take a break from life and escape for a couple of days. I’ll def be back to explore this little town again.

…or me on a juice cleanse.

I’m doing it partly in preparation for all the BBQ and bad decisions I’ll be making in Austin next week, but mostly because I bet Anthony that I could lose twenty pounds by the time we went to ACL or I’d pay for his BBQ at Franklin. These last five pounds can’t be zumba’d off in a week, so I made a game-time decision to bring my juicer out of retirement yesterday.

I can’t wait to go on vacation! And also eat solid food again.

I don’t know what’s sadder—is it that part of my job as a web designer at Skechers involves creating e-blasts for the cafe inside our office building (how else would you know that tomorrow’s special is chicken tikka masala?!), or that while googling BBQ photos to use for their 4th of July special, I immediately recognized this spread from Smoke City Market???

If you’re looking for the key to my heart, a platter of smoked BBQ beef ribs will unlock all the mysteries.

Day ruined (@ Smoke City Market)

I still had my beloved beef rib and brisket. Best BBQ I’ve had so far in LA (and in life!).

Sunday adventures with this slut (@ Eggslut)

He took me to Home Deeps to get a tire pressure gauge and made sure my car was safe to drive, but he also took me to Compton to get BBQ for dinner. Idk if he wants me to live or die, tbh.

…or the only day Anthony gets to have his wood between my legs and his meat in my mouth! Not gonna lie, he smokes some damn good BBQ…

Crossed another one off of LA Weekly’s 99 Essential Restaurants list… 93 more to go! (@ Father’s Office)

Anthony visited before his BBQ class in LA, and we tried one of LA’s best burgers. It was meh, felt more like a sandwich because it was served on a french roll, but the beers were excellent. My favorite burger in LA (and in life) is still from Plan Check!

Hopefully he learned some new skills from the BBQ Pitmaster for the next party he unwillingly lets me throw at his house.

I don’t know how to use a grill, and I’m the kind of girl who doesn’t read directions or instruction manuals. Unfortunately, that also makes me the kind of girl who wins Pinterest contests and then gets her prize revoked because she didn’t read the fine print that said that the contest wasn’t open to California residents.

I get it, Georgia. We have perfect weather and an extra series of The Real Housewives. We can’t have your $1200 Big Green Egg grills, too.

At least I still have my award-winning #MyHTTender contest board full of grilling recipes for when I throw another BBQ at someone else’s house 😉

Thrillist describes the Douche Burger as “a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that’s passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet.”

Do five other people want to go in on one of these??? Also, this image from 666 Burger’s facebook page looks like the first thing I created in Photoshop 4.0 circa 1996:

I instantly regret wearing jeans instead of leggings to work today. How can I stuff my face with Phil’s BBQ when my clothes are so binding?

Phil’s is opening a restaurant in Santee! This alcohol notice confirms it. Soon I’ll be able to get drunk and stuff myself with meat closer to home. And then I can head over to Phil’s afterward 😉

It was a Saturday night, so I was in bed eating beef ribs from Phil’s BBQ when Christine called me and said that Diplo was having a free show downtown for the America’s Cup World Series. I’ve had this weird crush on Diplo ever since I saw him in that Blackberry commercial, so I finished my ribs got ready and was out the door by 7:30.

I had dessert and drinks with Christine at Karl Strauss, walked to the harbor, fist pumped to Diplo’s set, met up with Jessie, had one too many mules at El Dorado, ate late night tamales at La Fachada, and got home at three in the morning.

Today, I woke up with a headache and a half eaten burrito next to my face.

Boys, try not to fall in love with me.

Once this @MindzAlike #BLC ends this Sunday, I’m going to stuff myself with meat.

And then I’m going to eat at these restaurants:

1. Crab Hut – Full house/medium shrimp will be my VICTORY meal (yeah, I said it!)
2. Pizza Port – Meet Extreme Meat pizza and a beer
3. Hodad’s – Bacon Cheeseburger Basket (my #1 craving these past 8 weeks)
4. Sarita’s – Carne asada fries from my favorite taco shop in the valley
5. Phil’s BBQ – Beefy Rib Tickler
6. Shik Do Rak – AYCE KBBQ that’s worth driving up to the OC for

One restaurant a week, of course. I’m still trying to get bikini tankini ready by summer!

I tried three estheticians before discovering Linda at Viva Brazil. And when I showed up for my appointment this afternoon, my stomach fell out of my butt when they informed me that Linda had called in sick. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t let just anyone touch my vagina! After having survived our waxings with Margarita, Pammie and I had a celebratory lunch at Phil’s BBQ where we ran into my BFF and her fam. How dare she eat there without me??? At least she let us cut in line 🙂