I read that a routine can help you feel in control of your life, so instead of focusing on things I can’t control, I can set small goals. Like if I fall asleep without taking my makeup off or brushing my teeth, I’m usually like no bigs because I never get cavities and hardly ever get blemishes (only at the most inopportune times, like when I have a party to go to), but last night after I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, put on my cat headband and did a whole ass skincare routine, and took these new melatonin and ashwaganda supplements I instacarted because I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Before the stroke, I would sleep at like 2, 3, 4 in the morning (on a weeknight!). After the stroke, I was sleeping more than half the day. I was also on medical leave and didn’t work for 6 months, so sleep filled up a lot of that time. I sleep a normal 8 hours now, but I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10. I’ve noticed that I’ve been staying up past midnight some nights, even though I’ve been in bed for hours. I had a restful sleep last night, but I took the gummies like at 9pm. I think I need to take them earlier, because it takes me a while to digest things. That’s why if I take an edible, I do it before an event and during the event, because it could be hours before I feel the effects 😅

I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill an hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner today. It’s the only way I’m gonna complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi has us on this month!

I woke up today and chose me ✊🏼

I just did 30 minutes on the treadmill 😅 Just a reminder that no matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping everyone on the couch!

Chel’s friend (who’s our age!) passed away from a heart attack last week. Everyday, my family tells me I’m lucky to be alive still after having a stroke at 41, and I’m always like, “Am I, though?” 😅 Every time I hear a story like this though, I feel lucky…

Shi sent us a challenge to do 60 miles by end of April on the Nike Run Club App. I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. Let’s do this!

Chel wanted me to bring my glucose monitor so she can test her blood sugar at Jade’s 2nd birthday party (@ Tony Pepperoni Pizzeria)

We’re those people at family gatherings now, guys 😅

(via @hella.basa)

Our next gathering is gonna be off the charts (in more ways than one) 👵🏻

Life’s hard enough. Eat the heart-shaped donuts ❤️🤎

Also, I washed down my prozac with an iced coffee from Mcdonald’s this morning, and I’m ready to start my day 😅

I used to doordash Mcdonald’s for breakfast every morning, even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment. Now, I only treat myself to this meal every few months after some routine blood tests 😅 Or when I’m happy to pay $300 to get my car out of a tow yard because I initially thought someone stole it (a Mcdonald’s breakfast is celebratory. Fight me).

P.S. I’m so excited to see Phantogram at Innings Fest, even though I’ve seen them live a million times since I first saw them at Outside Lands in 2011. I’ve actually already seen a lot of the bands that will be there (Young the Giant, Hozier, Jimmy Eat World, Red Hot Chili Peppers). What can I say, I’m a repeat offender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This urgent low blood glucose alert on my phone woke me up at 10pm last night. Yes, I was already sleeping at 10pm 👵🏼 I eat dinner at 6pm and sleep soon after, because the earlier I eat/sleep, the less of a chance of me having a fourth meal or snacking (you can’t have a midnight snack if you’re not awake at midnight LOL).

This bodes well for my upcoming blood tests later this week. This, however, does not bode well for anyone around me. I’m not eating sugar and I’m on my period right now. You should probably avoid this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days. I’m sorry for anything I said while my blood glucose was low 😅

I was good today and had a salad from Mendocino Farms for lunch. The closest Mendo is downtown next to Blue Bottle (my favorite coffee shop), so I picked up a New Orleans-style Iced Coffee, too (I had oatmeal for breakfast and lettuce wraps for dinner, I think I deserve a little caffeine and sugar. Plus yesterday, my sister and her husband chowed down on Mcdonald’s Sausage Mcmuffins with Egg and hash browns while I cried into my steel cut oats with potassium-rich bananas and anti-inflammatory cinnamon).

(via tinydicebuddies)

I tried to be healthy today and ordered a salad from Mendocino Farms, but my sister accidentally ate mine instead of hers. I would’ve eaten her order, but her salad had raw kale in it, and I hate raw kale. Oh, well. I’ll try again tomorrow 😅

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I’ve gained a few since I last saw my PCP in person almost a year ago. Granted, I last saw her a couple months after the strokes when I had dropped a ton of weight because I was scared to eat a carb, plus it’s after the holidays now! I’m still skinnier than I was before the strokes, but she didn’t see me till after I lost all that weight. I planned on eating my way through Phoenix and Nashville in the next couple months, but she scheduled another appointment in the beginning of May to check on my progress. She said I should be doing at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. I’m like, “But that’s 150 more than I normally do.” 😅

Waiting until the eleventh hour to check in to my doc appointment in case I win tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC that day and have to cancel it 😅

I got this new pill organizer because adulting.

I also just entered the lottery to win tickets for Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC next week, even though I have a doctor’s appointment in LA that day, so I’m not adulting too hard 😅

My sister’s husband was like, “What you making for breakfast?” and I was like, “Steel cut oats with bananas.” He was like, “That’s some middle-aged shit.”

I sprinkled some cinnamon on top because it’s naturally anti-inflammatory for some added sweetness.

This is 42, y’all.

I’ve been on a juice cleanse for the past few days in preparation for my bloodwork this morning, so I celebrated eating solid foods again with this $50 cereal we picked up in Brooklyn last weekend.

It’s officially been a year since I checked into the hospital after the incident 😅 Life took a 180 after the pandemic, and another 180 after having the strokes, so I’ve done a complete 360 and am back to where I started 😆 So grateful to still be here today and celebrate with this chocolate vanilla swirl pudding snack (yes, I instacarted this jello, and yes, it’s sugar-free).

Sidenote: Adan Canto, who played Arman Morales on The Cleaning Lady, passed away yesterday after a private battle with cancer 💔 I don’t usually get choked up about celebrities dying (unless it’s Paul Walker, Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Anthony Bourdain, Kobe… ok, maybe I do). I can’t believe he’s gone. He was my age. Life is short. Give your loved ones a big hug today…

Just my phone making me feel like shit on this Saturday morning! Cardio is hardio 😅

Before the incident, my sister’s husband said I used to eat like I was high all the time. Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Takis, Cup-O-Noodles… Pretty much anything you can doordash after 10pm or buy at the gas station LOL. I used to eat dinner really late and fast food is the only option available at that time. Plus I just genuinely liked processed food and had access to free soda and vending machines at work. I haven’t gone into the office in over three years, I don’t drink soda anymore, and I eat dinner at 6pm now 👵🏼

I found these plant-based ramen noodles that don’t exceed my sodium intake for the day. Apolo Ohno is an investor, if that helps sway you at all. I added some chili garlic crisp, green onions, tofu, crushed red pepper and an egg to jazz it up.

I don’t even know who I am anymore eating plant-based food, having dinner before the sun goes down, and saying shit like, “jazz it up” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My friend asked if I was going vegan with all this plant-based bullshit, but I’m just trying to find healthier alternatives and cut back on the salt. I could never give up BBQ. Gotta risk it for the brisket!

I love Flamin’ Hot anything. I used to eat a bag of hot fries from the gas station every time I’d drive from LA to SD. I tried these Flaming Hot Keto Puffs and they were a good alternative! Def reminded me of a time in my life I now refer to as BS (before stroke) 😅 I miss eating whatever I want!

Every time I eat “healthy” chips, I think of this scene from The Sweetest Thing 🤣

I haven’t had spamsilog (spam with rice and eggs for you non-Filipinos) since before the incident. It’s too processed, has too much fat, too much sodium and too many calories. I saw this video of this plant-based spam, so I had to try it. I ate it with rice (I’m eating plant-based spam, you want me to give up carbs, too?) an egg (to increase my good cholestorol levels) and a side of Datu Puti vinegar (because I’m Filipino as fuck).

I don’t usually like vegan food that’s pretending to be meat (I’d rather just eat vegetables), but I do have the occasional Impossible burger when my friend is observing Lent. But this was a great alternative for people who love spam!

Shi says it’s still too soon for stroke jokes 😅 *laughs awkwardly*

P.S. When I say I can eat anywhere, I mean it. My friend and I once went to lunch with this vegan girl who insisted we choose the restaurant (“I can find vegan food anywhere,” she said), and then she insisted we order and eat in front of her even though the restaurant was “garbage” and she wasn’t gonna order anything. Most awkward lunch ever! I kept stealing glances my friend as I nibbled on my salad, and she was just going to town on her food like, “She said to eat in front of her, so I’m eating!” 🤣

Googling “how to raise good cholesterol” because my doctor said my number should be higher, and the first suggestion is to exercise more 😅 I’m like, uhhh, can’t I just eat more fish??? 🤣

IDK if I was a bad driver before the strokes, but I definitely was bad at Wordle 🤣

Contrary to popular belief, driving in LA made me a more aggressive, better driver. Even though I’m Asian and a woman 🤣

Nori and I used to frequent Mendocino Farms for lunch, but parking was always a nightmare at The Point, and we haven’t gone back since there was a romaine shortage and they substituted shredded lettuce in our Modern Caesar 2.0 salads. We’re petty like that 😂

What I miss most about Mendo is the Superfood Krunchies they top all their salads with. I recently found these Cereausly Crispies on Amazon (ain’t nobody got time to toast their own quinoa!), so I had to get some and make myself a salad.

I accidentally forgot to update my address on instacart, and all my salad accoutrements got delivered to my parents’ house. They’re on a European cruise right now, so my sister had to drive my ass to their house to pick up my perishables. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy 😅

I found the smallest hopscotch ever on my walk, and it was so small, I almost fell trying to do it 😅

When I saw this hopscotch, I thought of this video, because a child obviously drew it 🤣

I got my bloodwork results back and everything was excellent. My rheumatologist said, “Your labs look good!” and to that I say, “But I’m hungry all the time.” 😅

What, you don’t keep your used needles in a frozen margarita pop container???

One time, a friend asked me if I had any gum and I only had candy-flavored gum—Sour Patch Kids Gum and Starburst Gum. He was like, “Are you an adult???” LOL I’m really not.

This reminds me of the time my grandma was sick and she kept saying, “Take me now, Lord!” so my mom took her to the hospital. After she was better, my mom was all like, “Do you still want the lord to take you now?” 🤣

I can’t believe I go back to work tomorrow. I haven’t worked since the incident, but my work only covers health benefits for 6 months of medical leave, so I have to go back so my benefits don’t lapse. Time sure flies when you’ve had a couple of minor strokes 😅

Powerball and Mega are both up. Anyone want to quiet quit go halfsies on a lotto ticket with me???

Update 7/16/2023: No one has won Powerball or Mega 😬 My coworker was like, “If I won the lotto, I’d probably still work,” and I was like, “If I won the lotto, you’d never see me again!” I used to think that I couldn’t not work, but after 6 months of not working, it turns out I totally can 😅

…or me whenever my sister tells me I should go on a walk or do my Breather exercises that my speech therapist told me to do. Basically, I don’t like any kind of exercise LOL. She’s always like, “You should be grateful you can still move and talk!” especially after her coworker told her that her cousin who’s the same age as me had a stroke and died. Ok fine, I’ll go on a walk and do my breathing exercises… *grumbles*

…or Jay’s message to me today after finding out about my strokes 🤣 I can totally hear him saying that! Except he says “skrong” like Kanye in Roses and “bitch” (also like Kanye in Roses).

I saw Kanye perform his debut album at 4th and B back in 2004. I miss the old Kanye.

I rarely eat rice or pasta now, but I still allow myself the occasional cinnamon roll or cookie. I’m not a psychopath 😅

Eating more eggs because my primary care physician said I need to raise my “good” cholesterol. This is 41, y’all 👵🏼

Egg Bite Recipe (adapted from Recipe Girl’s Copycat Starbucks Egg Bites):

• Simple Truth Natural Cage Free Eggs – 10
• Applegate Naturals Uncured Turkey Bacon – 5 Slices
• Private Selection Alpine Blend Shredded Swiss & Gruyère Cheese – 2 cups
• Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.

Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.

I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).

Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!

Each Egg Bite: Calories: 87. Carbs: 1. Fat: 5. Protein: 8. Sodium: 169. Sugar: 1.

Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!

I saw my doctor today and he took me off one of my pills. Now I only take 15 a day! 🤣

Celebratory cheeseburger and fries (@ Mcdonald’s)

Nori’s family straight up gasped when they found out how high my blood glucose levels were in the hospital. I recently had to get bloodwork done for my upcoming appointment and my A1C has gone down six points since January (I also haven’t had Mickey D’s since the incident, and I used to doordash their iced coffee every morning even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment). All I had to do (according to Dr. Joshi) was change my friends, change the way I do things and change my whole life (he keeps it too real LOL).

The phlebotomist said I had “easy veins” (usually it’s hard to draw my blood, and one time they even had to go through my hand which is so painful!), she complimented me on my favorite Michael Myers shirt I was wearing (that I wear year-round, not just when it’s Halloween), plus I got to have Mcdonald’s today! Win-win-win.

FYI I had my 7th birthday party at the Mcdonald’s in Bonita. I even still remember what I wore. Point being, I’ve had a special relationship with Mcdonald’s for a long ass time LOL.

Also, yes, that’s a double cheeseburger, and yes, I reward myself with food. Get off me.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Whenever we pass by Pammie’s old stomping grounds, we have to stop by (@ Shik Do Rak)

I treated my sister to her favorite KBBQ spot in her old ‘hood because she’s been driving my ass around and taking care of me for months. After dinner, I treated myself to my first iced coffee since the incident because my doc appointments went so well. Most of the blood tests were negative, so they weren’t worried I have any more underlying conditions. Both my hematologist and rheumatologist gave me good news!

Love is the moving power of our world…
if you would bring healing…
bring hope.

(@ Providence Little Company of Mary Medical Center Torrance)

I filed to extend my leave because I’m not ready to go back to work yet! ❤️‍🩹 I haven’t even driven since the incident, you think I can design for the interwebs?!

P.S. One time, we went to LA for some doc appointments, and we didn’t take my car, so my sister left my car keys in San Diego (along with my apartment keys attached to them) and we had to stay at the Marriott (and we never let her forget it) LOL.

Also, the first time I hiked Torrey Pines with Shi years and years ago, we parked so far and we were walking for so long and I was like, “We haven’t started hiking yet?!” LOLOL.

On Fridays, we eat Korean BBQ (@ Hanu KBBQ)

I took my sister out for dinner, partly because my short-term disability (or STD LOL) was finally approved (EDD is so old school with actual paperwork and snail mail) and the payments are retro to when I applied for my claim in January, but mostly because I checked my ADP app to make sure they took my bennies out of my last paycheck and saw they gave me an unexpected raise and bonus (even though I technically haven’t worked since the incident).

Good thing I was max’d out on sick time and vacation, because that’s how I’ve been getting paid since January. I’ll be lucky if I get my first disability check before I’m back at work!

I’ve dropped 30 pounds ever since my sister canceled my DoorDash membership in January, and I don’t DoorDash breakfast and dinner 5 days a week anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Who ever thought taking a shower by myself and cutting my own nails were things you had to relearn??? (I did both today). God, but it feels good to have someone else shampoo your hair and cut your nails.

(Not pictured: me taking a shower by myself).

It was not how I expected to spend my birthday week (or the first half of 2023), but thanks to everyone who sent flowers, stuffies and cards and have wished me well after my “medical emergencies” (they’re calling it) to the hospital and to my sister who is taking care of me till my LOA is up in July, to Nicholas who shaved my chocha with clippers LOL and sang me HBD in the operating room, and to Nori who left the office to take me to the ER. I’m in LA this week for some appointments and Dr. Joshi says I’m “hanging on by a thread” (he doesn’t sugarcoat shit) while the rest of my doctors have told me they expect a full recovery in a few months. My therapist was surprised that it was a full moon (I showed her the moon phase widget on my watch lmao, nor that I believe in crystal energy) but all I know is I left my crystals charging on Pammie’s rooftop before we left SD, because I need all the help I can get. Pardon me. I’m def less foggy, but I got 3 vaccines today LOL.