Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends
It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month, and today marks the end of Jessie’s treatment, so we are celebrating this weekend! 🥂 I am so grateful to have two of my dearest friends still with me after they both survived breast cancer 💕
I got this card from five dot post, who continues to promote cancer awareness after her husband passed away from cancer a few years ago 💛
I had just eaten my breakfast sandwich and was going to go on a walk to get my steps in and get some iced coffee. Pammie was gonna come with me, but she kept forgetting shit (her sunglasses, her keys) and the house is 4 floors, so I just waited downstairs while she kept going up and down for whatever she forgot. I wear a continuous glucose monitor, and it alerted me that my glucose levels were low. They’ve never actually been low when it has alerted me before, it usually happens when I put a new device in (every 10 days), and I just have to test my blood and recalibrate it and it’s fine. This time, though, I was sweating (even though the A/C was on in the house) and I felt off, so I tested my blood and my glucose levels were really low. Good thing I start getting ready for Halloween in July, so I had candy on hand 😆 I ate some and felt way better! I walked to Casa de Otay for iced coffee after and didn’t even break a sweat (I hardly ever sweat, so that also tipped me off that something was wrong earlier).
I have a continuous glucose monitor device that alerts me on my phone if my levels are too low or too high, but there are service dogs who are trained to also alert you. I ignore my phone notifs all the time, but I would never ignore a puppy 😆
Just a friendly reminder to listen to your body! 🙃
Since I started Stepbet last month, I’ve walked a total of 243 miles and won a whopping $25. Sure, the membership fee to join Stepbet was $60, and I spent more than my total winnings alone at Starbucks this week, but at least I walked to Starbucks 😅
(306 total players – 264 eligible players) x ($10 buy-in) = $420. $420/264 eligible players = $1.59 LOL
I may have won less than $2, but the health benefits are priceless 😆
StepBet allows you to participate in 3 challenges at a time, so I’m doing 2 other challenges that are a bit longer (6 weeks) and the pots are much higher ($94,000 total). Hopefully, I’ll win more than $2 😜
My doc appointment with the hematologist last week went well. I don’t have cancer 😮💨 He said that the normal range for white blood cells is 4.5K–11K and mine has been consistently 12K the past year, but everything else was normal, so he’s not concerned. He said it looks like there were some abnormalities in my T-cells, but that would only concern him if my other numbers were low and they weren’t, so he just wants to see me in 6 months to make sure my numbers are the same.
He was like, ‘Any questions for me?’ and my mom was like ‘How old are you?’ LOL he looked hella young. He was Asian and maybe in his 20s or 30s. He also said his babyface can be attributed to his skincare routine 😆
He was asking me a bunch of health questions and then he was like, ‘So what do you like to do in your free time?’ and I was like, ‘Uhh go to concerts,’ and my mom was like, ‘She just saw Justin Timberlake. Twice!’ and he was like, ‘Before his DUI or after???’ Don’t judge me 😑
The only bad news I got that day was when I stepped on the scale in the doctor’s office, and found out I gained a few. I’m still skinnier than I was when I had the stroke, but I’m straying further away from my ‘DMV weight‘ LOL, and I’m sure my primary care physician will have words about it when I see her in a few months.
My friend knows how competitive I am, so she suggested I try this StepBet app. I joined this mini 2-week challenge to start out. The buy-in was only $10, and if you complete the challenge, you split the pot. Over 300 people have joined this challenge, so the pot is $3,000+. Nothing motivates me more than winning, so I might as well make some money while reaping the health benefits 😜
Talking to Pammie about current events is like trying to find meaning in a Pauly Shore movie 😅
My sister has been in Solana Beach for work all week, so my parents are taking me to my doctor’s appointment in LA tomorrow. I got my labs back, and it was negative for lymphoma and leukemia, but my white blood cell count was still elevated and they saw some ‘abnormalities’ whatever that means. Hopefully the hematologist will have more insight for me tomorrow. At least it’s not blood cancer! 😅
I was hoping to find out if I have cancer or not after my Spain trip 😅
I have a doctor’s appointment with a hematologist after I come back from vacation, and they called yesterday and said they wanted me to do some bloodwork a couple weeks before my appointment, because some of the test results take that long. So I got my labs done this morning since I leave tomorrow.
My favorite phlebotomist was there, and she complimented my mani 💅🏻 I get my blood drawn every few months, and she always remembers me. She asks who brought me to my appointment because she knows I don’t drive yet LOL, and she tells me about her kids. I hate needles, but she always makes me feel so comfortable.
I saw this instagram post about a girl who had a stroke in her 20s, suffered facial paralysis, and uses a wheelchair because walking is difficult for her.
Katherine Wolf is only a couple months younger than me and has lived for 16 years post-stroke. I once read that stroke survivors only live 5-10 years after having a stroke, so that gives me a little hope.
I consider myself v lucky after having a stroke at 40. You can’t tell from looking at me that anything’s wrong—I didn’t suffer any paralysis, so nothing’s droopy, I can still walk. The only things really affected were my balance (which wasn’t great before, as demonstrated by my attempts at snowboarding pre-stroke), my penmanship (which used to be impeccable, but now I only sign restaurant receipts and rent checks) and my voice (which I used to see a speech therapist for). I don’t like talking in person much or the phone because I sound a lot slower, and sometimes the pharmacy or whoever I’m calling can’t understand me and I have to repeat myself. I would rather text or email because you can’t tell anything’s wrong electronically. I’m still able to do my job as a graphic designer, I just work mostly on my laptop instead of my work desktop, because it’s easier now for me to use the trackpad on my Macbook than grip the pen tablet I used to use as a mouse on my desktop.
On the plus side, I have a Disabled Person placard for life so whoever’s driving me gets primo parking, I got a boatload in tax-free disability checks when I was on medical leave last year (which I saved because I assumed I’d have to pay taxes on that money), and I haven’t had one headache since the stroke (I used to take Excedrin every day for frequent migraines).
I haven’t driven since the incident, but I think once I get behind the wheel, it’ll be like riding a bike. The last time I rode a bike, I fell off, though, and I wasn’t that great of a driver before… I totaled my car before this, rear-ended someone in my new car, and drove from SD to LA after the stroke at night even though I had double vision and had to drive with one eye shut 😅 In my defense, I didn’t know I had a stroke until I went to the urgent care clinic a couple days later when I was still feeling off. They were like, ‘You drove here?!’ They wanted an ambo to take me to the emergency room at the hospital, but I wasn’t sure what my insurance covered, so I was like, ‘Nah, my friend, Nori, is down the street at work. She can take me.’ And that was the last time I drove!
I had a regular doctor’s appointment last week with my primary care physician, and she had good things to say about my progress. She took me off one of my pills, so now I only take 9 a day instead of 10 😅 My dad wanted to take me off the anti-depressants, too, because his friend’s wife used to take them, and she ended up committing suicide. I think they’re helping me, though, so I’m gonna keep taking them. Mama needs her Prozac 🤪 The doctor wants me to see a hematologist again, because she tests my blood every few months, and my white blood cell count has been consistently elevated every time. She said she wants to rule out any autoimmune diseases or blood cancers 😳
Pammie and and I walked to Paris Baguette to get our steps in before I inhaled my croissant and cold brew. The girls were texting when we were walking back, and Shi and Christine’s husbands’ friend had a heart attack while they were playing some pick up ball this morning! He’s our age! Scary…
I’m gonna take a shower now and get ready for puppy yoga and maybe google a CPR class we can all take 😅
I weighed myself last Monday and had only lost a pound after a week of exercising more and eating less. It was discouraging to say the least, but I kept at it. The pounds used to melt off when I’d diet and exercise before, but I have to remind myself that I was heavier back then, and I’m in my forties now 👵🏻
I had to do some bloodwork yesterday for my upcoming doctor’s appointment, so I weighed myself and I’ve lost a few more pounds. My blood glucose is down, my good cholesterol is up, my bad cholesterol is down, my other numbers are mostly good and within normal range. Good health is measured a little differently these days. Hopefully my doc has good things to say about my progress. Words of affirmation is my love language LOL.
I read that a routine can help you feel in control of your life, so instead of focusing on things I can’t control, I can set small goals. Like if I fall asleep without taking my makeup off or brushing my teeth, I’m usually like no bigs because I never get cavities and hardly ever get blemishes (only at the most inopportune times, like when I have a party to go to), but last night after I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, put on my cat headband and did a whole ass skincare routine, and took these new melatonin and ashwaganda supplements I instacarted because I’ve been having trouble sleeping.
Before the stroke, I would sleep at like 2, 3, 4 in the morning (on a weeknight!). After the stroke, I was sleeping more than half the day. I was also on medical leave and didn’t work for 6 months, so sleep filled up a lot of that time. I sleep a normal 8 hours now, but I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10. I’ve noticed that I’ve been staying up past midnight some nights, even though I’ve been in bed for hours. I had a restful sleep last night, but I took the gummies like at 9pm. I think I need to take them earlier, because it takes me a while to digest things. That’s why if I take an edible, I do it before an event and during the event, because it could be hours before I feel the effects 😅
I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill an hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner today. It’s the only way I’m gonna complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi has us on this month!
Chel’s friend (who’s our age!) passed away from a heart attack last week. Everyday, my family tells me I’m lucky to be alive still after having a stroke at 40, and I’m always like, “Am I, though?” 😅 Every time I hear a story like this though, I feel lucky…
Shi sent us a challenge to do 60 miles by end of April on the Nike Run Club App. I hate exercising, but I’m competitive as fuck. Let’s do this!
I used to doordash Mcdonald’s for breakfast every morning, even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment. Now, I only treat myself to this meal every few months after some routine blood tests 😅 Or when I’m happy to pay $300 to get my car out of a tow yard because I initially thought someone stole it (a Mcdonald’s breakfast is celebratory. Fight me).
P.S. I’m so excited to see Phantogram at Innings Fest, even though I’ve seen them live a million times since I first saw them at Outside Lands in 2011. I’ve actually already seen a lot of the bands that will be there (Young the Giant, Hozier, Jimmy Eat World, Red Hot Chili Peppers). What can I say, I’m a repeat offender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This urgent low blood glucose alert on my phone woke me up at 10pm last night. Yes, I was already sleeping at 10pm 👵🏼 I eat dinner at 6pm and sleep soon after, because the earlier I eat/sleep, the less of a chance of me having a fourth meal or snacking (you can’t have a midnight snack if you’re not awake at midnight LOL).
This bodes well for my upcoming blood tests later this week. This, however, does not bode well for anyone around me. I’m not eating sugar and I’m on my period right now. You should probably avoid this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days. I’m sorry for anything I said while my blood glucose was low 😅
I was good today and had a salad from Mendocino Farms for lunch. The closest Mendo is downtown next to Blue Bottle (my favorite coffee shop), so I picked up a New Orleans-style Iced Coffee, too (I had oatmeal for breakfast and lettuce wraps for dinner, I think I deserve a little caffeine and sugar. Plus yesterday, my sister and her husband chowed down on Mcdonald’s Sausage Mcmuffins with Egg and hash browns while I cried into my steel cut oats with potassium-rich bananas and anti-inflammatory cinnamon).
I tried to be healthy today and ordered a salad from Mendocino Farms, but my sister accidentally ate mine instead of hers. I would’ve eaten her order, but her salad had raw kale in it, and I hate raw kale. Oh, well. I’ll try again tomorrow 😅
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I’ve gained a few since I last saw my PCP in person almost a year ago. Granted, I last saw her a couple months after the strokes when I had dropped a ton of weight because I was scared to eat a carb, plus it’s after the holidays now! I’m still skinnier than I was before the strokes, but she didn’t see me till after I lost all that weight. I planned on eating my way through Phoenix and Nashville in the next couple months, but she scheduled another appointment in the beginning of May to check on my progress. She said I should be doing at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. I’m like, “But that’s 150 more than I normally do.” 😅
Waiting until the eleventh hour to check in to my doc appointment in case I win tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC that day and have to cancel it 😅
I also just entered the lottery to win tickets for Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC next week, even though I have a doctor’s appointment in LA that day, so I’m not adulting too hard 😅
My sister’s husband was like, “What you making for breakfast?” and I was like, “Steel cut oats with bananas.” He was like, “That’s some middle-aged shit.”
I sprinkled some cinnamon on top because it’s naturally anti-inflammatory for some added sweetness.
I’ve been on a juice cleanse for the past few days in preparation for my bloodwork this morning, so I celebrated eating solid foods again with this $50 cereal we picked up in Brooklyn last weekend.
It’s officially been a year since I checked into the hospital after the incident 😅 Life took a 180 after the pandemic, and another 180 after having the strokes, so I’ve done a complete 360 and am back to where I started 😆 So grateful to still be here today and celebrate with this chocolate vanilla swirl pudding snack (yes, I instacarted this jello, and yes, it’s sugar-free).
Before the incident, my sister’s husband said I used to eat like I was high all the time. Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Takis, Cup-O-Noodles… Pretty much anything you can doordash after 10pm or buy at the gas station LOL. I used to eat dinner really late and fast food is the only option available at that time. Plus I just genuinely liked processed food and had access to free soda and vending machines at work. I haven’t gone into the office in over three years, I don’t drink soda anymore, and I eat dinner at 6pm now 👵🏼
I found these plant-based ramen noodles that don’t exceed my sodium intake for the day. Apolo Ohno is an investor, if that helps sway you at all. I added some chili garlic crisp, green onions, tofu, crushed red pepper and an egg to jazz it up.
I don’t even know who I am anymore eating plant-based food, having dinner before the sun goes down, and saying shit like, “jazz it up” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My friend asked if I was going vegan with all this plant-based bullshit, but I’m just trying to find healthier alternatives and cut back on the salt. I could never give up BBQ. Gotta risk it for the brisket!
I love Flamin’ Hot anything. I used to eat a bag of hot fries from the gas station every time I’d drive from LA to SD. I tried these Flaming Hot Keto Puffs and they were a good alternative! Def reminded me of a time in my life I now refer to as BS (before stroke) 😅 I miss eating whatever I want!
Every time I eat “healthy” chips, I think of this scene from The Sweetest Thing 🤣
I haven’t had spamsilog (spam with rice and eggs for you non-Filipinos) since before the incident. It’s too processed, has too much fat, too much sodium and too many calories. I saw this video of this plant-based spam, so I had to try it. I ate it with rice (I’m eating plant-based spam, you want me to give up carbs, too?) an egg (to increase my good cholestorol levels) and a side of Datu Puti vinegar (because I’m Filipino as fuck).
I don’t usually like vegan food that’s pretending to be meat (I’d rather just eat vegetables), but I do have the occasional Impossible burger when my friend is observing Lent. But this was a great alternative for people who love spam!
Shi says it’s still too soon for stroke jokes 😅 *laughs awkwardly*
P.S. When I say I can eat anywhere, I mean it. My friend and I once went to lunch with this vegan girl who insisted we choose the restaurant (“I can find vegan food anywhere,” she said), and then she insisted we order and eat in front of her even though the restaurant was “garbage” and she wasn’t gonna order anything. Most awkward lunch ever! I kept stealing glances my friend as I nibbled on my salad, and she was just going to town on her food like, “She said to eat in front of her, so I’m eating!” 🤣
Googling “how to raise good cholesterol” because my doctor said my number should be higher, and the first suggestion is to exercise more 😅 I’m like, uhhh, can’t I just eat more fish??? 🤣
Nori and I used to frequent Mendocino Farms for lunch, but parking was always a nightmare at The Point, and we haven’t gone back since there was a romaine shortage and they substituted shredded lettuce in our Modern Caesar 2.0 salads. We’re petty like that 😂
What I miss most about Mendo is the Superfood Krunchies they top all their salads with. I recently found these Cereausly Crispies on Amazon (ain’t nobody got time to toast their own quinoa!), so I had to get some and make myself a salad.
I accidentally forgot to update my address on instacart, and all my salad accoutrements got delivered to my parents’ house. They’re on a European cruise right now, so my sister had to drive my ass to their house to pick up my perishables. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy 😅
I found the smallest hopscotch ever on my walk, and it was so small, I almost fell trying to do it 😅
When I saw this hopscotch, I thought of this video, because a child obviously drew it 🤣
I got my bloodwork results back and everything was excellent. My rheumatologist said, “Your labs look good!” and to that I say, “But I’m hungry all the time.” 😅
One time, a friend asked me if I had any gum and I only had candy-flavored gum—Sour Patch Kids Gum and Starburst Gum. He was like, “Are you an adult???” LOL I’m really not.
This reminds me of the time my grandma was sick and she kept saying, “Take me now, Lord!” so my mom took her to the hospital. After she was better, my mom was all like, “Do you still want the lord to take you now?” 🤣
I can’t believe I go back to work tomorrow. I haven’t worked since the incident, but my work only covers health benefits for 6 months of medical leave, so I have to go back so my benefits don’t lapse. Time sure flies when you’ve had a couple of minor strokes 😅
Powerball and Mega are both up. Anyone want to quiet quit go halfsies on a lotto ticket with me???
Update 7/16/2023: No one has won Powerball or Mega 😬 My coworker was like, “If I won the lotto, I’d probably still work,” and I was like, “If I won the lotto, you’d never see me again!” I used to think that I couldn’t not work, but after 6 months of not working, it turns out I totally can 😅
…or me whenever my sister tells me I should go on a walk or do my Breather exercises that my speech therapist told me to do. Basically, I don’t like any kind of exercise LOL. She’s always like, “You should be grateful you can still move and talk!” especially after her coworker told her that her cousin who’s the same age as me had a stroke and died. Ok fine, I’ll go on a walk and do my breathing exercises… *grumbles*
…or Jay’s message to me today after finding out about my strokes 🤣 I can totally hear him saying that! Except he says “skrong” like Kanye in Roses and “bitch” (also like Kanye in Roses).
Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups
Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.
Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.
I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).
Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!
Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!
Nori’s family straight up gasped when they found out how high my blood glucose levels were in the hospital. I recently had to get bloodwork done for my upcoming appointment and my A1C has gone down six points since January (I also haven’t had Mickey D’s since the incident, and I used to doordash their iced coffee every morning even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment). All I had to do (according to Dr. Joshi) was change my friends, change the way I do things and change my whole life (he keeps it too real LOL).
The phlebotomist said I had “easy veins” (usually it’s hard to draw my blood, and one time they even had to go through my hand which is so painful!), she complimented me on my favorite Michael Myers shirt I was wearing (that I wear year-round, not just when it’s Halloween), plus I got to have Mcdonald’s today! Win-win-win.
FYI I had my 7th birthday party at the Mcdonald’s in Bonita. I even still remember what I wore. Point being, I’ve had a special relationship with Mcdonald’s for a long ass time LOL.
Also, yes, that’s a double cheeseburger, and yes, I reward myself with food. Get off me.
Whenever we pass by Pammie’s old stomping grounds, we have to stop by (@ Shik Do Rak)
I treated my sister to her favorite KBBQ spot in her old ‘hood because she’s been driving my ass around and taking care of me for months. After dinner, I treated myself to my first iced coffee since the incident because my doc appointments went so well. Most of the blood tests were negative, so they weren’t worried I have any more underlying conditions. Both my hematologist and rheumatologist gave me good news!
I filed to extend my leave because I’m not ready to go back to work yet! ❤️🩹 I haven’t even driven since the incident, you think I can design for the interwebs?!
P.S. One time, we went to LA for some doc appointments, and we didn’t take my car, so my sister left my car keys in San Diego (along with my apartment keys attached to them) and we had to stay at the Marriott (and we never let her forget it) LOL.
Also, the first time I hiked Torrey Pines with Shi years and years ago, we parked so far and we were walking for so long and I was like, “We haven’t started hiking yet?!” LOLOL.
I took my sister out for dinner, partly because my short-term disability (or STD LOL) was finally approved (EDD is so old school with actual paperwork and snail mail) and the payments are retro to when I applied for my claim in January, but mostly because I checked my ADP app to make sure they took my bennies out of my last paycheck and saw they gave me an unexpected raise and bonus (even though I technically haven’t worked since the incident).
Good thing I was max’d out on sick time and vacation, because that’s how I’ve been getting paid since January. I’ll be lucky if I get my first disability check before I’m back at work!
I’ve dropped 30 pounds ever since my sister canceled my DoorDash membership in January, and I don’t DoorDash breakfast and dinner 5 days a week anymore ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Who ever thought taking a shower by myself and cutting my own nails were things you had to relearn??? (I did both today). God, but it feels good to have someone else shampoo your hair and cut your nails.
It was not how I expected to spend my birthday week (or the first half of 2023), but thanks to everyone who sent flowers, stuffies and cards and have wished me well after my “medical emergencies” (they’re calling it) to the hospital and to my sister who is taking care of me till my LOA is up in July, to Nicholas who shaved my chocha with clippers LOL and sang me HBD in the operating room, and to Nori who left the office to take me to the ER. I’m in LA this week for some appointments and Dr. Joshi says I’m “hanging on by a thread” (he doesn’t sugarcoat shit) while the rest of my doctors have told me they expect a full recovery in a few months. My therapist was surprised that it was a full moon (I showed her the moon phase widget on my watch lmao, nor that I believe in crystal energy) but all I know is I left my crystals charging on Pammie’s rooftop before we left SD, because I need all the help I can get. Pardon me. I’m def less foggy, but I got 3 vaccines today LOL.
