I made this easy chicken apple sausage and brussels sprouts recipe I used to make all the time, except I omitted the bacon and used a homemade ranch vinaigrette since Tessemae’s still hasn’t gotten back to me about their dressing LOL.

I didn’t think I’d like crispy rice, because I thought it’d taste like hard, undercooked rice (which I’ve gotten the two times I’ve eaten at Tocaya Modern Mexican!).  But I had some crispy rice in Nashville of all places, and it was the best thing I ate all weekend. It’s more like toasted, cooked rice which is super yummy.

Plus, Bobby Flay always makes crispy rice no matter what the challenge is on Beat Bobby Flay:

My rice fell apart when I fried it (even though I froze it overnight!), so I made a bowl instead of individual portions. Still tasted good, though! I followed this recipe, but I added chives, chili garlic crisp, and sliced jalapeños because I’m extra ✨

Who needs Din Tai Fung reservations???

I ordered these dumplings from MìLà (if you advertise on instagram using a celebrity endorser and offer free shipping if I spend a certain amount, I can be easily swayed to buy anything).

I also made some cucumber salad, garlic green beans and sesame noodles (Pammie’s favorite) in case our dinner wasn’t Asian enough.

My mom asked me to make her banana nut bread with her ripe bananas, and since my sister’s husband has been asking me to make banana bread for months, I made him a loaf, too.

I used to make mini loaves and bring them to work. Here’s some actual footage of the time I caught my old coworker, Justin, in his office going to town on this mini loaf that was supposed to be for him and his wife LOL:

Don’t let The Great Banana Bread Disaster of 2009 fool you. I make a mean ass banana bread.

Best Ever Banana Nut Bread with Streusel Topping Recipe (banana bread recipe adapted from The Baking ChocolaTess and streusel recipe from Yummy Addiction):

Banana Nut Bread Ingredients:

• ½ cup butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs beaten
• 1 ½ cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. salt
• 1 cup mashed bananas (about 3)
• ½ cup sour cream
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• ½ cup chopped walnuts

Streusel Ingredients:

• 3 tbsp. flour
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• ¼ tsp. cinnamon
• 2 tbsp. unsalted butter, slightly softened and cut into pieces
• ¼ cup chopped walnuts

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease a 9-inch loaf pan. Cut a piece of parchment paper and put it on the bottom of the pan (for easy removal).
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Add in the eggs and mix well.
5. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add into the butter mixture and combine together.
6. Add the sour cream, bananas, and vanilla and stir well to incorporate, but don’t overmix.
7. Stir in chopped walnuts.
8. Pour into prepared pan.
9. Add the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl and mix until combined. Cut in the butter using your fingers or a pastry blender, until it resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in chopped walnuts. Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the batter.
10. Bake for 50-60 minutes.
11. Cool for 10 minutes and then turn the loaf out onto a rack. Remove the parchment paper and wrap the loaf in saran wrap to keep it moist once it’s room temperature.

I made this spaghetti squash pad thai after Shi made pancit with spaghetti squash and I was wondering what other rice noodle recipes I could sub them for.

I’m that basic ass b that always orders pad thai at Thai restaurants. I followed this recipe, but I omitted the ginger, carrots and cilantro (since I don’t like any of those things LOL) and topped it with crunchy garlic chili oil (I put that shit on everything). It turned out so great!

Eating more eggs because my primary care physician said I need to raise my “good” cholesterol. This is 41, y’all 👵🏼

Egg Bite Recipe (adapted from Recipe Girl’s Copycat Starbucks Egg Bites):

• Simple Truth Natural Cage Free Eggs – 10
• Applegate Naturals Uncured Turkey Bacon – 5 Slices
• Private Selection Alpine Blend Shredded Swiss & Gruyère Cheese – 2 cups
• Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.

Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.

I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).

Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!

Each Egg Bite: Calories: 87. Carbs: 1. Fat: 5. Protein: 8. Sodium: 169. Sugar: 1.

Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!

Miso Chilean sea bass (a riff on the miso black cod from Nobu) with baby bok choy drizzled with crunchy garlic chili oil.

The miso marinade was a bitch to make (it was so thick!) and a bag of five Chilean sea bass fillets was almost $50 at Costco, but it was worth it (one miso black cod at Nobu is nearly $40!).

This whole ass meal was *chef’s kiss*. Bon appétit!

I’ve been wanting to make these TikTok Cinnamon Rolls for forever, and when the girls came over for brunch months ago, imagine my surprise when I found out it was a “healthy” brunch (it was after the incident), we were having healthy shit like crudité, Christine knew brunch was gonna be healthy so she ate a Mcdonald’s breakfast sandwich beforehand LOL, and no one brought waffles!

I thought Mother’s Day was a good excuse to make these cinnamon rolls, so I did and everyone loved them! They were sooo good and I’ll def be making them again.

The best part is you use canned cinnamon rolls to make it! Ain’t nobody got time to make cinnamon rolls from scratch.

This is not my picture, although that logo looks like my dutch oven and my glasses (am I that basic???). My cinnamon rolls turned out exactly like these, but my family devoured them before I could take a picture. Also, I would never use that upper font LOL.

I keep seeing Marco’s Pizza TV commercials (even though there’s no Marco’s near us), so I made a healthier version since I kept craving this pizza I’ve never had.

Pizza Recipe:

• O Organics Pizza Crust, Personal, Thin & Crispy
• O Organics Pizza Sauce, Organic – 1 tbsp
• Trader Joe’s Organic Arugula – 2 cups
• Fresh Cut Red Onions, Diced – 2 tbsp
• Signature Farms Mushrooms Shiitake, Sliced – ½ cup
• Hormel Turkey Pepperoni – 5 slices cut into fourths
• Lindsay California Black Olives, Sliced – 2 tbsp
• Belgiosio Fresh Mozzarella Ball – 4 oz (half)
• McCormick Red Pepper, Crushed – 1 tsp
• Happy Belly Tellicherry Whole Peppercorn – 1 tsp

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Combine ingredients except the crushed red pepper and black pepper and bake for 30 minutes. Add crushed red pepper and fresh ground black pepper to taste when finished baking. (I recently bought an electric grinder and will find any excuse to use it).

Calories: 593. Carbs: 49. Fat: 29. Protein: 32. Sodium: 469. Sugar: 7.

Nori and I used to go to True Food Kitchen for lunch and eat Spaghetti Squash Casseroles, but I’ve been staying in SD since the incident, and parking at The Point was always horrendous anyway. 

I found this copycat recipe and even the meat lovers (me and my sister’s husband) loved it! I’ll def be making it again.

I followed the recipe pretty closely, except I used a 24 oz. jar of Rao’s Marinara Sauce (because it contains no added sugar), used 2 tbsp of dried Italian seasoning blend instead of fresh thyme and oregano (ain’t nobody got time to chop fresh herbs), and bought the onions already diced (because I hate chopping onions and think all vegetables should come already cut and triple-washed). Shi sent me some fake noodles to try (or as I like to call them, “foodles”), but they were awful!!! One of the reviews said, “You can’t burn them, but you’ll want to” LOL. The spaghetti squash is such a good alternative! It’s delicious, even if you aren’t watching your carbs.

This sheet pan sausage and veggies Pammie and I meal prepped this past weekend has been a dream since my sister is in Denver this week for work, my mom is in the Philippines for one more week, and I’m staying with my dad who sleeps past 10am and thinks chinese takeout and salmon are suitable for lunch and dinner every day LOL.

This is just what I used below, but you could use whatever you have in your pantry:

Sheet Pan Sausage & Veggies Recipe

• Aidells Smoked Chicken & Apple Sausage – 12 oz. (1 package – 4 links cut into about 10 pieces each)
• Trader Joe’s Organic Tri-Color Bell Peppers – 3 Count (1 package – cut into about 1-inch pieces)
• Trader Joe’s Organic Broccoli Florets – 12 oz cut into halves (1 package)
• Trader Joe’s Handcut Butternut Squash Cubes – 20 oz. (1 package)
• Trader Joe’s Microwavable Brussels Sprouts – 10 oz. cut into halves (1 package)
• Red Onion – 1 large (cut into about 1-inch pieces)
• Minced Garlic – 3 tbsp
• Primal Avocado Oil – 4 tbsp
• Mrs. Dash Garlic & Herb Seasoning Blend – 2 tbsp
• Fresh Ground Black Pepper – to taste (I used about 1 tbsp)

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F and combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl. Dump onto two baking sheets covered in parchment paper (for easy clean up) and “convect roast” (that was the setting I used on my sister’s KitchenAid Oven) for 30 minutes (or less if you don’t like it charred) and voilà!

I divvied the recipe in four and put them into these containers because they’re cute to make sure I got one sausage link and plenty of veggies per meal, and these are the nutrition facts per serving if you’re into that:

Calories: 481. Carbs: 39. Fat: 26. Protein: 19. Sodium: 695. Sugar: 7.

Also, who am I right now???