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The Cleaning Lady.
Saturday, April 6, 2024

(via @betches)

Donna’s son, Elijah, is a champion pole vaulter and is trying to qualify for the olympics in 2028. The Olympic Training Center is near my sister’s house, so he’ll be staying at my sister’s while he trains there for the next few weeks. He’ll be staying in my room at their house while he’s there, so I came over to clean it up a bit. “Isn’t the cleaning lady coming tomorrow?” my dad asked. “Duh. That’s why I’m cleaning.” I’m the kind of person who clips my talons and pumices my feet before getting a pedicure, I’m def gonna tidy up my room and bathroom before the cleaning lady comes. What am I, an animal? 🤪 I mean, I am a little bit, but Leticia doesn’t need to know that…

21st Century.
Saturday, March 30, 2024


My sister is the most technologically challenged person I know (right behind my dad), and one time we were up at my apartment in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and my wifi wasn’t working, and she had like a million zoom meetings to attend that day. I’m like, “Just use your phone as a hotspot.” “What’s a hotspot?” she says. I showed her how to use her phone as a hotspot, and I’m like, “Welcome to the 21st century!” LOL

I have a wireless laser color printer in my room at my sister’s, and I’m at my parents’ house right now, so I asked her to print some pictures of my parents’ bathroom for their remodel. I was surprised she was able to figure it out on her own.

Another time, Shi was helping me with this wedding invitation order and she was using a corner punch to round all the corners. She was like, “All done!” I see a sharp, unrounded corner, and I’m like, “What’s this little guy?” We were at the cafe inside Borders, and we couldn’t stop laughing, we were so loud.

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

I went with my parents to a showroom this morning because they’re remodeling their bathroom and wanted my opinion on materials. My sister’s husband was like, “That’s what you get for being so stylish,” and my sister was like, “Notice they didn’t ask me to come.” 😅 My sister’s the kind of person who buys the model home so it’s already fully furnished and decorated, whereas I’m really particular about what goes in my studio, and it’s just a rental. I tried three mattresses before I settled on one. I once made my family drive me to the West Elm in Solana Beach because I just had to have this mid century nightstand, and they were the only location in SoCal that had it in stock. Every year, I say I’m gonna enter Apartment Therapy’s Small/Cool Contest (my apartment’s only 450 square feet!), but the contest always happens when I’m really busy at work. And every year, when they announce the grand prize winner, I’m always like, “My apartment’s cuter than that.” When I helped my sister paint her last condo, we went to Lowe’s and she picked a color within minutes. I was like, “Wait, don’t you want to look at all these paint chips (for a few more hours)?” She was like, “Game-time decision, Mayan!” And I’m like, “I don’t understand your sports references.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, since they made me get up butt crack early, I had them stop by Mcdonald’s for breakfast. I was waiting in the lobby for my food, and this old lady hobbles over to this other old lady with her cane and asks her how she’s doing and I thought she knew her, but she asked her name and told her she had a beautiful smile. Then the other lady asked her how she was doing, and she said, “I’m alive and able to walk on my own two feet. It’s a beautiful day!” And I cried into my vanilla iced coffee and drank my tears 😭

Don’t mind my emo ass, I think I’m getting my period 😅

Update: The red devil is, in fact, in my belly. I’d stay away from this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days.

Friday, January 26, 2024

the plaza reed diffuser

When we stayed at The Plaza in NYC, I kept commenting on how good it smelled. I found out they sell their signature scent online, and I had to get it. Now it smells like The Plaza up in this bitch.

M & R.
Monday, January 22, 2024

knick knacks

My parents have these shelves of knick knacks that they keep the phone chargers on, and as we were checking up on their house while they’re away on their cruise (not sure what we were checking for as they have an alarm system and cameras), I was staring at these little cups on the shelves. “B” & “S” for my parents, Ben & Shirley, “P” & “D” for my sister, Pammie and her husband, Dennis, and “M” & “R”… The “M” was for Marion, but what the hell was the “R” for? My sister saw me looking at them and was like, “R for Rocky!” Oh, duh. Of course my mom would get one for our beloved dog who died five years ago LOL.

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

harry potter christmas tree

My sister had a real Christmas tree last year, but didn’t want to deal with vacuuming all the needles and having to trash it afterwards again, so she got this artificial one.

aroma360 scent cold diffuser

She and her husband love the real tree smell, though, so I got some fraser fir fragrance oil for my scent diffuser, and now it smells like Christmas up in this bitch.

FYI if you didn’t already know, my sister is a Potterhead.

Monday, December 11, 2023

dead plant

R.I.P. to my fiddle leaf fig bush. It’s in a self-watering pot, but you have to refill it with water once a month, and I haven’t been in my apartment since August 😅

Thursday, August 24, 2023

(from bukitothemoon)

My sister’s elevator has been broken since June. She already reported the elevator company to the Better Business Bureau, because they’ve canceled several appointments to fix it and keep making excuses. I’m like, “Where am I? My apartment in LA???” When I first moved into my building, the elevator was broken, and I live on the top floor. The building owner and landlord at the time assured me that the elevator was in the process of getting fixed. When my new neighbor saw the movers carrying stuff up the stairs to my apartment, he told me that the elevator had been broken for 10 months. Then, when I tried to take a shower after a long day of moving, I had no hot water! I had to shower in a vacant apartment on a different floor on the other side of the building for weeks until they fixed it. My old landlord was such a dick (yeah, I’m talking to you, Leonard!). My building has since been sold to a new owner, so I have a much nicer landlord now, the elevator works, I have hot water, and they even removed my popcorn ceiling and renovated my bathroom.

The only reason my sister bought a 4-story house was because it came with an elevator. She originally wanted a ranch-style, 1-story house with no stairs (she also said she’d never live below the 8), but here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I can see the prison from her private rooftop!

The good thing about the elevator being broken is it forces me to use the stairs. My onion booty has turned to an office ass over the years from working a desk job, and now it’s starting to shape up again 😅

Monday, August 21, 2023

bloody bath mat

I got this bloody bath mat partly because I almost slipped and broke my neck after my shower, but mostly because I’m morbid as hell. Should I get this shower curtain set to complete the look???

Yeah, I don’t know why I’m single, either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just need to find someone I can be myself around 🤣

Friday, June 23, 2023


Got this teapot and teacups from Marimekko, partly because I love the design, but mostly because I left my Blood of my Enemies (JK IT’S COFFEE) cup in LA.

Friday, June 9, 2023

dead plant

I’m up in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and I haven’t been home in over a month.

I should really give someone a key to my apartment, because all my plants are dead.

People think it’s silly that I kept my studio in LA (and continue to pay a ridiculous amount for it) since I haven’t lived there since January after the incident, but I like my independence (and walking around in my chonies.). I’d sublet my apartment, but my property manager lives across the hall, so he’d definitely know 😅

Friday, April 21, 2023

aroma 360 cold diffuser

You’re so fuckin’ bougie.

– my sister’s husband to me after I brought down my Aroma 360 diffuser and Cashmere Plum fragrance oil from my studio in LA for my room at their house in SD

Christmas Bush.
Monday, December 19, 2022

fiddle leaf fig christmas tree

Who needs a christmas tree when you can just throw some lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

broken fridge

I woke up to the sound of my fridge struggling this morning, and when I opened my freezer, everything was melted inside! R.I.P. to an embarrassing amount of ice cream, plus that lone pepperoni pizza hot pocket I was saving for later.

Update: It’s now Friday and I’m going on day 3 of not having a fridge. Luckily, Chel sent me this song of the day to cheer me up while I write my landlord another strongly worded email and cry into my room temperature bottled water 😭

Dog Days.
Thursday, October 13, 2022

dog sleeping

My roommate for the next two weeks! She’s only been here for a few hours and she’s already bogarting the bed. She’s lucky she’s cute.

New Normal.
Monday, March 21, 2022

wfh setup

Welp, it’s officially been two years since I started working from home for what was supposed to be a two-week stint! Since then, I’ve put in countless hours of overtime and started taking serotonin supplements if that’s any indication of how life is going so far 😅

Monday, January 3, 2022

poorly hidden package

Shoutout to the UPS guy who hid my package while I was away on vacation.

Spooky Season.
Tuesday, September 1, 2020

beetlejuice - handbook for the recently deceased - skull snow globe

Kicking off spooky season with some light reading…

beetlejuice - handbook for the recently deceased

Unsolicited fact about me: Beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies. It was one of the only VHS tapes my grandma had when I was a kid, so I’d watch it over and over again. My boss calls me ‘Morbid Marion’ and I think Lydia Deetz would be proud 🖤

Send Noods.
Wednesday, July 22, 2020

fresh pasta dough ball

kitchenaid pasta attachment

fettuccine pasta drying rack

homemade fettuccine alfredo pasta

It looks like we’ll be quarantining well into summer, so I’ve officially stopped working on my bikini bod and started carbo-loading for winter.

This homemade pasta and alfredo sauce combo was *chef’s kiss* 😘

Rise & Grind.
Wednesday, April 8, 2020

blood of my enemies coffee cup

Monday, March 23, 2020

home office - wfh - coronavirus

Finally an office with a window! I could get used to working from home…

Now if I only had a bidet, a lifetime subscription to Freshly, and a peloton bike, I’d never have to leave my apartment! Just kidding (like I would ever use a peloton bike).

See you clowns on Zoom!

Get Lit.
Monday, November 25, 2019

article caliper shelf christmas lights

One month till Christmas!

Raging Tonight.
Friday, October 18, 2019

gradient puzzle

Thursday, July 4, 2019

Unsolicited fact about me: This is how I start every 4th of July.

Fixer Upper.
Wednesday, March 20, 2019

After my ceiling sprung several leaks, my landlord had our roof fixed and offered to remove that god awful popcorn ceiling. I even got him to remodel my bathroom and repaint my entire apartment while he was at it!

S/O to all those LA storms for making this home reno possible…

popcorn ceiling leak
ceiling reno
bathroom reno
bathroom reno

I’ve been off the grid for a few weeks while my place was getting renovated, but it was def worth the wait! Lots to catch up on (Shi’s wedding, Jessie’s birthday, and all the BBQ I ate in between), but first I gotta shower in my new tub and make my bracket picks

Tidying Up.
Monday, February 4, 2019

It rained all weekend, so I stayed in and Marie Kondo’d the shit out of my apartment. 48 hours and 9 trash bags later, I have to admit, I feel a little joy (and a lot of exhaustion). Good thing I still have two mattresses to sleep on…

I bought Marie Kondo’s book three years ago. I never read it, and it just added to my clutter! The irony isn’t lost on me. She’s got that netflix show now, but I’m still going to keep it (The Lover’s Dictionary and Tacopedia can’t be the only two books I have in my apartment, guys).

I always say I’m going to re-gift this one day, but let’s be real.

Does Bed, Bath & Beyond take expired coupons from seven years ago? I’ll check on yahoo answers before tossing these. I’m sure someone has weighed in.

Anyone into small mexican things??? Yeah, me either LOL. Toss!

I found this massage gift certificate the girls gave me for my birthday nine years ago! I’m gonna need it after all this decluttering.

Mattress City.
Monday, January 28, 2019

dreamcloud hybrid mattress

memory foam mattress

free mattress

You guys, I have mattresses in every corner of my studio right now.

The memory foam mattress I bought last month is too firm, my old spring mattress is too soft, and the new hybrid mattress that got delivered today is just right!

I’m selling my memory foam mattress and giving away my old spring mattress. If anyone is interested, you should know that I live in a third floor walk-up. If you’re still interested, please hit me up on Let Go, Offer Up, or if you’re local, the Buy Nothing Redondo Beach (North) FB group. Get a mattress and earn a fitbit stair badge while you’re at it!

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Me on day 1 of this LA storm:

beyonce lemonade gif

Me on day 4 after my ceiling sprung a massive leak:

rhobh enough beast gif

Fortunately, it’s leaking above an area free of furniture, electronics, and my hand-tufted moroccan rug.

ceiling leak

Unfortunately, it’s in the shape of a vagina and a literal stain on my apartment.

ceiling leak

If anyone without a hole in their ceiling would like me to stay over tonight, you’ll be rewarded with good karma, leftover pizza from Valentino’s, and me without pants on.

Home Movie.
Wednesday, January 9, 2019

bird box projector

Best gift ever! I finally set up this awesome projector Pammie got me for Christmas, and unlike Bird Box, it did not disappoint! Now if only I could get the last two hours of my life back…

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

memory foam bed rise

After the most stressful day at work, I decided to chalk this day up as a loss and go straight to bed. When I got home, my new memory foam mattress was waiting outside my door! It was in a box so big, I had to bend time and space (and my back!) to get it into my apartment.

Now I’m just waiting for it to rise and get firm, so I can get on top of it and go to sleep with a smile on my face. What else is new…

Facebook Memories.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018

penis straw

Thanks for the memories, FB.

Black Out Days.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018



It was straight up Ghost Hunters status at both work and home today. If you’re reading this, please send food. I can’t microwave my burrito.

The Purge.
Friday, April 13, 2018

let go app

Come and get it:

Monday, February 26, 2018

ncartier diy mid-century modern coffee table


My favorite home furnishing up front. I like to accent my home with bright reds and yellows & little black and white dogs.

I love seeing the outcome when people try my DIY Mid-Century Modern Coffee Table tutorial ♥

I’ve been itching to build something new for my place, but I’m not sure what. My sister’s husband thinks I’m making myself too comfortable in this apartment I’ve been wanting to leave for five years, and it’ll be that much harder (for everyone else) when I eventually move out of the sticks. (You ask someone to help you move during one Chargers playoff game ten years ago, and they don’t ever let you forget it!)

Pick Your Poison.
Monday, February 12, 2018

bar cart girl scout cookies

DIY Indoor Herb Garden.
Monday, September 5, 2016

indoor herb garden

Happy new home to the Lansangs! I hope they’re better at keeping things alive than I am.

DIY Indoor Herb Garden:

  • Herb plants, $4.98 each @ Home Depot
  • Potting mix, $4.97 @ Home Depot
  • Wooden planter, $12.99 @ Wayfair
  • Chalkboard stakes (set of 6), $8.14 @ Amazon
  • Impeccable penmanship, Priceless
Feature: 33 Gorgeous DIY Projects To Decorate Your Grown Up Apartment.
Sunday, April 5, 2015

DIY buzzfeed feature

Buzzfeed featured my DIY mid-century modern side table as one of their 33 Gorgeous DIY Projects To Decorate Your Grown Up Apartment!

#9 out of 33 (but #1 in your hearts, right?).

Happy New Home.
Sunday, March 15, 2015

succulent housewarming gift

Pretty plants for Pammie’s new digs ♥

Sunshine Yellow.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014

DIY reupholstered mid-century modern chair harris tweed sunshine yellow

Earlier this week, I reupholstered the leather cushions on my Roxy Rocker with this gorgeous Harris Tweed. According to Wikipedia, it was “handwoven by islanders at their homes in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.” I bought it off eBay from some dude in the UK, so it must be legit.

Also, I did all this with a staple gun, and I didn’t even hurt myself! It only took that first staple barely missing my thigh for me to realize that the staples come out of the other end when you shoot it. Yikes.

Roxy Rocker.
Monday, May 5, 2014

mid-century modern rocking chair furniture

The most beautiful wood I’ve ever sat on ♥

Get yours @ onefortythree!

DIY Mid-Century Modern Coffee Table.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014

DIY mid-century modern coffee table

I built this coffee table in an ongoing attempt to lower my Ikea to non-Ikea furniture ratio. Yes, this area rug is from Ikea, but The Great Pizza Box Fire of 2014 destroyed my non-Ikea rug, and I needed an affordable replacement! One step forward, two steps back…

DIY mid-century modern coffee table

This coffee table was built the same way I built my mid-century modern side table, but with a few modifications. I used pre-stain wood conditioner this time to prevent streaking and blotching. On a bigger job like this, you won’t be able to hide the ugly parts with succulents and a strategically placed Beyoncé print.
pre-stain wood conditioner
You can follow the same directions I used to build the side table. Just be sure to use these new measurements.



  • 2 – 1″x12″-6′ common boards – 4 pieces that are cut 36″ long
    (the top & bottom boards)
  • 1 – 1″x4″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 22.5″ long
    (the side boards)

Since I already had the gel stain and clear coat left over from building the side table, it only cost me $88 to make this coffee table! That’s cheaper than the Ikea rug it’s sitting on…

Royal Side-Eye.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014

royal side eye gif

…or my neighbors after I almost burned down our apartment building this past weekend.

My lease is up and the only hot neighbor I had moved out this month, so I’m pretty sure the universe is telling me that it’s time to move out of the sticks, fellas.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

messy studio

The girls are spending the night at my place this weekend, and I’m over here building furniture like IDGAF.

DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table
DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table
DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table
DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table

(As featured on Buzzfeed, Elle Greece, Marie Claire France, Diply, How To Build It, Nouvelle Daily, Oh So Lovely Blog, List Inspired, Roomed, and Lighter Side of Real Estate)

I’m obsessed with all things Mid-Century modern, and when I saw this Co-Mod side table, I knew that I needed it in my life. But it was $345. And sold out. And $345. I felt like that needed to be mentioned twice.

Because I’ve mastered the art of assembling Ikea furniture (and tested many friendships along the way), I thought that I should try building this side table myself. I went to Home Depot, showed them a photo on my phone and was basically like, “HOW YOU DO DIS?” If you act like you don’t know what you’re doing (or you’re like me and you legitimately do not know what you’re doing), the good people at Home Depot will help you. They will tell you what paint brush you should use to apply clear coat. They will tell you what clear coat is. They will even cut your wood down to the exact size that you need at no extra charge.

Building this side table was easier than assembling an Ikea sectional sofa!


  • 1 – 1″x8″-10′ common board ($14)
  • 1 – 1″x6″-6′ common board ($4)
  • Wood Stain – I used Minwax Gel Stain in Hickory
  • Clear Coat – I used Minwax Polycrylic in Clear Satin
  • 16 – 1.75″ nails
  • 4 – Mid-Century modern legs – I used 12″ hairpin legs ($61)
  • Sandpaper
  • Hammer
  • Power drill


  • 1″x8″-10′ common board – 4 pieces that are cut 20″ long
    (the top & bottom boards)
  • 1″x6″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 14.5″ long
    (the side boards)


  1. Sand your boards. I used 150 grit sandpaper and sanded in the direction of the grain until it felt smooth. After your boards are sanded, wipe them down with a damp cloth to remove excess sawdust before staining them. This is probably something you should do outdoors in a well-ventilated area and not inside your 400 square foot studio during the only weekend it rains in Los Angeles. I still have sawdust in places I didn’t know I could get sawdust.
  2. Stain your boards. Use gloves unless you want to have to keep explaining to everyone why your hands are brown for the next three days. You can use an old t-shirt, or if you’re a hoarder like me and can’t bear to part with your ‘I ♥ Haters’ shirt, you can get a pack of paint rags from Home Depot for $4 and use those instead. I used one to apply the stain to the wood and one to wipe off the excess. It dries pretty fast, so I was able to coat all sides without waiting. I only applied one coat, but you can apply more if you want it darker. Let the boards dry completely.
  3. Apply clear coat. I applied it to one side of the boards using a synthetic paint brush. Give it a couple hours to dry, then turn your boards over and apply it to the other side.
  4. Assemble your side table. Use two 20″ boards for the bottom, two 20″ boards for the top, and the remaining 14.5″ boards for the sides. Here’s a helpful diagram:
    DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table
  5. Nail the two top boards to the long edge of the side boards, and repeat on the bottom. Use two nails on each end of each board as pictured. I had someone hold the boards together for me while I hammered away.
  6. Mount the legs. I set the legs 2″ from the edges and marked where the screws would go. I pre-drilled pilot holes and screwed the legs on with sixteen 3/4″ screws. Depending on what kind of legs you buy, you might have a different method for attaching them.

You can build your own Mid-Century modern inspired side table for roughly $78 (for just the wood and the hairpin legs, if you happen to have the other materials). You really can’t beat that price or the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel after building something with your bare, wood-stained hands.

DIY Mid-Century Modern Side Table

Other things pictured:
Painted succulent pots designed by me (DIY tutorial here)
Task lamp from Target
Beyoncé print designed by me (sold on Etsy)
Bedding from Anthropologie
Bed from West Elm (discontinued!)

Do-It-Your Selfie Sunday.
Sunday, March 2, 2014

sunday do-it-your selfie - face mask

Sanding, staining and spray painting on this rainy Sunday. IDK why I thought these were things I could do inside my studio. Pretty sure I’m high right now.

Thursday, April 25, 2013


First an iPad mini, now, my apartment elevator is back in service after 10 months of being out of order. My karma must be way up there.

Fucking Ikea.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013

ikea kivik couch

I’m taking the $79 I saved on in-home assembly and buying some fucking booze.

Frenchie + Couch.
Thursday, March 21, 2013

french bulldog on the couch

I just need two more things to make this overpriced studio a home. Anyone know where I can get a good deal on a french bulldog and/or a couch in the south bay? I went furniture shopping this past weekend, and nothing seemed worth carrying up three flights of stairs or testing my friendships over.

Hardwood Floors.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013

white vertical blinds rental remove diy home makeover

Say goodbye to ugly white vertical blinds, and hello to wood blinds and linen curtains. And if you’re wondering if the drapes match the carpet, I’ve got hardwood floors. And so does my apartment! Ha.

I know this is just a rental, but I like to fill the void in my life with home decor.

Mini Kitchen Makeover.
Saturday, February 23, 2013

DIY kitchen makeover remodel

Like seriously mini. Is it too much to ask for a double-bowl sink in LA???

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