Two natural disasters in one day? I’m ready ✌🏻

I woke up late this morning and missed the cutoff for McDonald’s breakfast (I still walked over there to get my steps in and get iced coffee since it’s available all day), my sister came back from Vegas and tested positive for covid, my sunflower sprout died while I was away this weekend, and I just found a big ass bug in my room. I think it’s a cricket, but IDK how it got in here since I’m on the third floor, there’s no food in here, no trash, and my windows have been closed for weeks because my sister keeps the A/C at a cool 68°.

Mondays, amirite? 😅

Update:  I tried to do the humane thing and trapped the bug in a jar and let him outside, but he 127 hour‘d himself in the jar and is now hopping around outside with one leg.

I’m scared he’s gonna somehow find his way back into my air-conditioned room and jump on me while I’m sleeping.

I woke up and broke my glasses (I always fall asleep with my glasses on, and the metal hinge finally snapped this morning), so I ordered another of the same pair, but it takes a couple weeks to make. I walked to Vons in this hot ass weather to get my steps in and decided to reward myself with a venti iced unsweetened green tea, but the Starbucks inside Vons was out of green tea. We were supposed to celebrate Christine’s husband’s birthday tonight downtown at Basic, but Pammie’s been seeing a chiro and doing PT and she threw out her back, so instead I’m in bed watching old Bones reruns, wearing my prescription sunglasses at night like an asshole, and migrating my old work Mac to the new Mac they sent me. Another wild Saturday night in!

It’s also a full moon tonight. Do with that information what you will 😜

Update: Biden has dropped out of the presidential race and Tender Greens filed for bankruptcy 😬

My wild Friday night consisted of emailing this dressing company to see if this vinaigrette I used to buy is discontinued LOL. I also went to the gym, took a shower, did a whole ass skin care routine, and took some melatonin gummies. Yes, I’m blogging this from bed. Yes, it’s 9pm.

Update: Through some online sleuthing, I found out that Tessemae’s filed for bankruptcy last year and was acquired by another company this year. They haven’t responded to my email yet, but I did email on a Friday night after hours, so I’ll give them a few business days 😆 Otherwise, I may have to try making my own dang ranch vinaigrette!

I read that a routine can help you feel in control of your life, so instead of focusing on things I can’t control, I can set small goals. Like if I fall asleep without taking my makeup off or brushing my teeth, I’m usually like no bigs because I never get cavities and hardly ever get blemishes (only at the most inopportune times, like when I have a party to go to), but last night after I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, put on my cat headband and did a whole ass skincare routine, and took these new melatonin and ashwaganda supplements I instacarted because I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Before the stroke, I would sleep at like 2, 3, 4 in the morning (on a weeknight!). After the stroke, I was sleeping more than half the day. I was also on medical leave and didn’t work for 6 months, so sleep filled up a lot of that time. I sleep a normal 8 hours now, but I’m usually in bed by 9 or 10. I’ve noticed that I’ve been staying up past midnight some nights, even though I’ve been in bed for hours. I had a restful sleep last night, but I took the gummies like at 9pm. I think I need to take them earlier, because it takes me a while to digest things. That’s why if I take an edible, I do it before an event and during the event, because it could be hours before I feel the effects 😅

I also did 30 minutes on the treadmill an hour after breakfast, lunch and dinner today. It’s the only way I’m gonna complete this Nike Run Club 60-mile challenge Shi has us on this month!

I’ve been in such a mood.

I was like, “Do I need to reset my chakras? Is Mercury in fucking retrograde?” Because I like to blame everything but my own life choices for my absolutely sour mood 😅

You guys, Mercury is in retrograde.

IDK why my dad has so many batteries. When I need one, I just take it out of my smoke detector 😅 Considering I’ve almost burned down my apartment, I should probably take some of these batteries home…

Life’s hard enough. Eat the heart-shaped donuts ❤️🤎

Also, I washed down my prozac with an iced coffee from Mcdonald’s this morning, and I’m ready to start my day 😅

When we were doing sake bombs at Yokohama Yakitori Koubou last weekend, Shi raised her shot and was like, “To the next step!” And Christine was all like, “What’s the next step?” And Shi was like, “The next step is death!” 🤣

I thought she was gonna cry when she told us about her son potty training and refusing to poo and her daughter almost getting sex trafficked at Sesame Place. Do we need to have an intervention, Shi??? Be honest 😅

I would like to cancel my subscription.

It was not how I expected to spend my birthday week (or the first half of 2023), but thanks to everyone who sent flowers, stuffies and cards and have wished me well after my “medical emergencies” (they’re calling it) to the hospital and to my sister who is taking care of me till my LOA is up in July, to Nicholas who shaved my chocha with clippers LOL and sang me HBD in the operating room, and to Nori who left the office to take me to the ER. I’m in LA this week for some appointments and Dr. Joshi says I’m “hanging on by a thread” (he doesn’t sugarcoat shit) while the rest of my doctors have told me they expect a full recovery in a few months. My therapist was surprised that it was a full moon (I showed her the moon phase widget on my watch lmao, nor that I believe in crystal energy) but all I know is I left my crystals charging on Pammie’s rooftop before we left SD, because I need all the help I can get. Pardon me. I’m def less foggy, but I got 3 vaccines today LOL.

I caught my first cold in nearly three years and have been down for the past two weeks! Apologies to my new neighbor who’s had to listen to my nonstop coughing, sneezing, and four seasons of The Great British Baking Show: Holidays.

Welp, I have until 2035 to get my life together before I start driving an electric car that needs to be charged regularly.

I’m the type of person who doesn’t fill up their gas tank until I’m running on fumes (this picture was taken today).

I’m also the type of person whose phone is always on the cusp of dying or already dead (even though I work from home). Don’t even get me started on all my unread notifications.

I don’t know what to tell you guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I had a pretty shitty day yesterday.

When I woke up this morning, I laid my crystals out to charge under the full moon, washed my serotonin pill down with crystal-infused water, and cried into my acai bowl. Pre-pandemic me would never, but LA has changed me, y’all.

I don’t know if it’s work, or my period, or the $25 I just spent on doordashing this acai bowl… but Jesus, I got emotional. You should probably avoid this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days.

This Halloween, I deep cleaned my apartment and installed a new area rug. What has become of my life?

One year, we’re getting kicked out of bars downtown, and the next we’re staying in on a Saturday night with the kids (none of which are my own), drinking homemade sangria and playing chow crown. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Christine’s going to murder me for posting this LOL. Hopefully her three kids keep her too busy to ever read this thing!

I know so many people who are going through tough times right now (the death of a parent, the loss of their family home, and trouble conceiving, to name a few)… Besides LA traffic, my only other gripe is that I’ve been working long hours, and my postmates driver (that my work pays for) forgot to include utensils with my order last night, so I had to eat my calamari in my office with my bare hands like an animal. I feel like an asshole even mentioning it. All things considered, I have so much to be thankful for.

My Shi just got engaged to the love of her life, and I couldn’t be happier for her.

She gave me these two rose quartz crystals a few months ago, because “love comes in pairs,” she said. I’ve never been a believer of crystals, but I did buy this cute ass dish for them (I still believe in good home decor, after all). I keep them on my bar cart in the feng shui-recommended “love corner” of my apartment. The booze around it will likely be of more assistance to my love life than the art of feng shui or crystals, but I appreciate Shi’s effort! Ha.

Congrats, love!

Not much has changed since Chel’s diary entry from my 8th birthday—I’m still fun at sleepovers, and we’re all still a little afraid of our cousin, May! Ha.

I love that she still has all of her old diaries. I used to send people handwritten letters, but I didn’t start documenting my life until I started this blog in my early twenties. I never expected to keep it going for this long, but here we are 15 years later! For the three of you who have stayed tuned to this blog, thanks for sticking it out with me after all these years. Here’s to the next 15!

La La Land was def overhyped, but this dream sequence of what could have been was everything 💔

At lunch today, our waiter told me he really liked my glasses when we first sat down, and later brought me some hot water, lemon and honey because he said he heard me sniffling. Deane said he wanted my dick, but I’m pretty sure he just wanted the tip 😉

S/O to Ryan @ CPK Manhattan Beach! You are one supreme slice.

Same.

I suppose in the end it’s almost too easy to look back and say what you should have done, how you might have changed things. What’s harder—what’s much, much harder—is to accept what you actually did do.

At home, at weekends or whatever, it wells up and I can’t handle it. But most of the time I can just about handle it, you sort of have to get through the day.

I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.

Every morning, I wake up and forget just for a second that it happened. But once my eyes open, it buries me like a landslide of sharp, sad rocks. Once my eyes open, I’m heavy, like there’s too much gravity on my heart.

She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make?

City and Colour – The Golden State

Why’s everyone still singing about California?
Haven’t we heard enough about the Golden State?
I guess if you like sandy beaches and blue ocean water
There’s something about it, to which I cannot relate

City and Colour and vino.

Ugh, this week.

Donuts help you realize what’s important in life.

You should be watching Orange is the New Black, if only for sound advice from Yoga Jones. (She was the voice of Patti Mayonnaise if that helps sway your decision at all.)

If you ever lose me at Target…

You’ll be sick or feeling troubled or deeply in love or quietly uncertain or even content for the first time in your life. It won’t matter. Out of the blue, beyond any cause you can trace, you’ll suddenly realize things are not how you perceived them to be at all. For some reason, you will no longer be the person you believed you once were. You’ll detect slow and subtle shifts going on all around you, more importantly shifts in you. Worse, you’ll realize it’s always been shifting, like a shimmer of sorts, a vast shimmer, only dark like a room. But you won’t understand why or how.

Me, too, ‘Nard Dog.

It took me so long to do so many important things. It’s hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could’ve been. Jim was five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It’d be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I’m a tragic person, I’m really happy now. But it would just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself, ‘Be strong. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast! Because life just isn’t that long!’

These are obviously in order from least to most important.

tessism:

LSP is my spirit animal. BUMPS ♥

STEFAN: How does anyone ever seem to move on?
CAROLINE: I think that someday, you’ll meet someone new, and you’ll fall madly in love, and you’ll have moved on without even realizing it.

yellowbricks:

Trying to stay awake while looking through hot model pics on my new iMac for this microsite I’m designing at work.

My life is so hard sometimes.

Same.

From the voice of reason ♥
#notyouanthony

bryarly:

Coincidentally, this is also what I like to hear when I’m sad.

Girls = new obsession.

This show is depressingly relatable. Also, you can get this book on Amazon.
(Don’t ask me how I know.)

For my sad bears, drunk bears, and #whyareweevenhere bears…
The right person won’t need convincing.

Nahhh, I’m good…

At last, an MTV show I can get behind.

Silver Linings Playbook. Loved, loved, loved.

This pretty much sums up my new year’s resolutions for 2013.

My future is as clear as the shots of vodka my grandmas were doing on Christmas.

I forgot my cell phone in my car last night, and I didn’t realize it till almost midnight.

Can we just take a second to talk about my parking situation??? Okay so #1 I don’t have a designated parking spot. My garage is only big enough for my landlord’s BMW, his Mini Cooper and his diamond shoes. #2 I live on a one way street. If I can’t find parking (which is always), I have to go around the block and onto one of the busiest streets in Redondo before getting back on my street. Don’t even get me started on the street sweeping that happens twice a week. Sometimes, some asshole parks in the middle of two driveways and doesn’t leave enough room to park in front or behind them. And sometimes that asshole is me. But I digress.

It was already late, and I had to park two blocks away last night, so I considered staying off the grid till morning. Plus I had already taken my bra off, so I was in for the night. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up for work without all the alarms I have set on my phone, so I grabbed my sharpest pair of fabric scissors (in case some beach bum tried to get crazy) and sprinted to my car. Okay so maybe it was more of a light jog. Get off me. Not only was I running with (fabric) scissors, but I was also running with no bra on, and that’s a dangerous situation in itself, amirite?

Apparently, by the time a woman hits 30, she loses about 90% of her eggs.

This may be the red devil in my belly speaking, but who wants to go halfsies on a baby two-pack of First Response fertility tests???

via vulture.com:

Evidence that The Mindy Project is actually about my life.

Honey Boo Boo‘s mama is only 2 years older than me! I have so much to look forward to.

Everything happened so fast with the move that I didn’t have time to think about it. I’m so much happier at my new job, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my dog. Le’sigh.

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

No time! There’s never any time!

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. That’s life, isn’t it?

I’m officially the new Web Designer for Skechers! LA, here I come… Yikes!

You are a souvenir shop, where he goes to remember how much people miss him when he is gone.

Today, I found out that my BFF is pregnant with her third kid. It’s almost like I’m having a baby, too, but without the weight gain or the big boobs. Oh, wait…

As far as Mondays go, today has been exceptionally shitty.

heartworm, n.
a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

I’m doing it wrong.

All or nothing was bullshit. It never worked out that way. Life was all about taking what you could get when you could get it and surviving when it wasn’t enough.

It’ll change your life, I swear.

Barnito Supreme speaks the truth.

New prints are up in my Etsy shop!

Loved this book in highschool.
Love the Imagine Dragons song in the trailer.
Can’t wait to see the movie!

You can’t save a damsel if she loves her distress…

Is it just me, or does everyone else’s room get a little dusty whenever they watch google chrome commercials?

A man fishes for two reasons: he’s either sport fishing or fishing to eat, which means he’s either going to try to catch the biggest fish he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he’s going to take that fish on home, scale it, fillet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women. It’s not the guy who determines whether you’re a sports fish or a keeper—it’s you. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing.

Mr. Hightower speaks an insane amount of truth.

I have found my new spiritual leader. Teach me your ways, oh wise one.

…although it’s questionable how publicly acceptable I look when I’m not at home!

Apparently, while I’m at work gchatting with my friends (which is frequently—unless my boss is reading this, in which case it’s occasionally and only on nights and weekends), they’re at home wearing mascara while I’m out in public without a stitch of makeup on.

God forbid I run into the love of my life at Starbucks while wearing my yoga pants that, if we’re being honest, have never been worn to yoga.