I haven’t had an online portfolio since I got this job in LA 13 years ago! They pay me v well (I make more than triple what they were paying me in SD at my last job), so I’ve never looked for another job while working here, as stressful as it’s been at times.
With all the changes happening at work, I made a panic portfolio 😅 It’s better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it…
My old ass didn’t make it to midnight on NYE, so I didn’t see this until today. I immediately sent it to my friend and was like, ‘What in the default font is this bullshit?’
Earlier today, I just told one of our web designers to change the font they used on an email they designed, because it looked like a default font like Myriad. You never choose that font on purpose, it’s like it defaulted to Myriad because they didn’t have the font it was supposed to be instead.
I was catching up on my DMs, and saw that another friend of mine sent me this same video because they know I’m a typography nerd 🤓
After a relationship ends, even the most mundane objects can become painful reminders. At the Museum of Broken Relationships, everyday stuff was submitted anonymously and exhibited as art along with each object’s story of betrayal or loss. The result was a moving collection of heartbreak.
This guy met a girl in a graphic design class, and she used a ridiculous font, Davida, for her first project. He started seeing this same ridiculous font used everywhere from El Torito, to Café Du Monde packaging to a barbershop in Santa Monica. He couldn’t escape it. It became a game in their relationship, and they started collecting items they found using Davida font. They’ve since broken up, but he still sees Davida everywhere and knows all the streets he could drive down (or avoid) in LA to see signs using Davida font. He still thinks about that girl and what could’ve been.
It’s been nearly a decade, and I still think about this exhibit 💔
They call me ‘Salami Mami’ (JK, no one calls me that LOL).
My friend told me once that giving birth to her kids ruined her tits and her nipple to breast ratio. I was like, ‘Are they like a pepperoni on an english muffin?’ and she was like, ‘More like a salami on a Ritz cracker!’ 😅 So now I can’t make a charcuterie board without thinking about her big ass salami nipples 🤣
I love Rice Krispie Treats. I used to pick up a Marshmallow Dream Bar whenever I’d go to Starbucks and wash it down with a venti Pink Drink. Nowadays, Nori makes me get an unsweetened iced green tea from Starbucks after splitting a donut from Randy’s. What has become of my life???
Pumpkin pie hack: I got a big ass pumpkin pie from Costco, used a biscuit cutter to cut out individual servings, and topped them with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. Adorable!
My sister’s husband braved Costco, and I instacarted everything else I needed.
Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Grandma’s birthday, or a Thursday, I always make Furikake Chex Mix.
I will always pick a regular potato over a sweet potato, except when it’s baked into a casserole with candied pecans and covered with marshmallows.
My cousin’s wife’s name is ‘Kass,’ and she says it’s short for ‘Kassandra,’ but he tells people it’s short for ‘Casserole’ 🤣
When you weren’t anticipating going to a Padres playoff game while you were in SD, so you buy an extra Cricut and customize some gear.
After my dad’s birthday dinner last night, we were watching Game 3 at my parents’ house when my dad decided that he would like to go to a game now. My sister’s husband gave up his ticket, so my dad could go in his place tonight. Don’t give Dennis too many kudos—I bought our tickets, and my sister’s letting him go to Vegas without her this weekend 🤪
I put my Etsy shop on hold after the stroke, because making sales and mailing shit out was the last thing on my mind. When Chel saw my Halloween decor and found out I made the door hanger on my Cricut, she was like, ‘You should sell these!’ I fucking should, huh? There’s gotta be other disturbed people out there 😈
My sister is the most technologically challenged person I know (right behind my dad), and one time we were up at my apartment in LA for a doctor’s appointment, and my wifi wasn’t working, and she had like a million zoom meetings to attend that day. I’m like, “Just use your phone as a hotspot.” “What’s a hotspot?” she says. I showed her how to use her phone as a hotspot, and I’m like, “Welcome to the 21st century!” LOL
I have a wireless laser color printer in my room at my sister’s, and I’m at my parents’ house right now, so I asked her to print some pictures of my parents’ bathroom for their remodel. I was surprised she was able to figure it out on her own.
Another time, Shi was helping me with this wedding invitation order and she was using a corner punch to round all the corners. She was like, “All done!” I see a sharp, unrounded corner, and I’m like, “What’s this little guy?” We were at the cafe inside Borders, and we couldn’t stop laughing, we were so loud.
File under: Shit I get asked to do because I know Photoshop.
Obviously a dude had the championship ring made since it says, “The Motherfucking king of fantasy football,” even though the ring was made after two girls joined the league (my sister and my ex’s wife—not me, I don’t know anything about football), and Pammie won last year!
I think miniature versions of things are the cutest, so I made these adorable mini chicken and waffles. I just bought some Eggo Minis, a tray of Chick-Fil-A Nuggets, these cocktail picks, and served it with some quality maple syrup. So cute!
My chocolate bread pudding fixes things in the universe.
My charcuterie boards always have a theme 🎄
I made my banana nut bread last Thanksgiving and was asked multiple times where I bought it! Now I have to make it for every family party.
Is it even an Asian party if you don’t play games for money??? I learned that my cousin’s husband moves really slow after eating edibles and I suck at flip cup when I’m completely sober 😅
The Pantone Color Institute named its color of the year for 2024 and it’s Peach Fuzz. Pantone describes the color as “gentle, warm and cozy, subtly sensual and heartfelt.”
For those of you who think this stuff has nothing to do with you, I present to you this scene from The Devil Wears Prada 😆
I heard from a friend of a friend That that dick was a ten out of ten I can’t stand it, just one night me Clink with the drink, gimme a sip Tell me what’s your kink, gimme the dick Spank me, slap me, choke me, bite me Uh, wait, I can take it Give a fuck ’bout what your wifey’s sayin’
I wanted to dress up for the Doja show and her new album has pearl spiders on the cover. I once saw Phoebe Bridgers perform on SNL in a custom Gucci pearl skeleton ribcage necklace and I’ve always wanted to recreate it. It turned out better than I expected! Plus it went great with my skeleton bone nails.
It’s all in the details 💀
Bitch, I said what I said
I’d rather be famous instead
I let all that get to my head
I don’t care, I paint the town red
Mm, she the devil
She a bad lil bitch, she a rebel
She put her foot to the pedal
It’ll take a whole lot for me to settle
I saw these skeleton bone press on nails, but they were way too long, so I made my own skeleton bone sticker decals with my cricut and white vinyl! Love how it turned out 💀
Thanks to all the moms out there (and to tiktok for teaching me the art of salami roses!). If this graphic design thing doesn’t work out, I think I’ll just make charcuterie boards for a living.
That’s a wrap on 2020! Pammie upgraded me to the new Cricut Maker, so 90% of the gifts I gave were personalized (the other 10% was whatever I could amazon prime at the eleventh hour).
Pammie and I snagged tickets to the last day of LACMA’s Rain Room exhibit on LA’s rainiest day ever and got more wet outside than we did in the exhibit 🌧️🌧️🌧️
I think I might get married in this Lloyd Wright stunner. I just need to find a husband first! Just kidding (they also do baptisms, so a baby daddy will suffice).
Did you donate because of the animals or because of my cute packaging, be honest.
I’ve reached 70% of my fundraising goal! Help me get to 100% HERE and receive a bag of these homemade beer bones (they’re dog tested and Rocky approved, if that helps sway you at all).
Anthony upgraded his second annual shrimp boil with an invite that tested our friendship and a bloody mary bar by me and the girls. All that was missing was some fried chicken!
Every time one of us gets married, it’s like a mini reunion. I love that no matter how many days, months or years have gone by, we can all still pick up right where we left off ♥
I built this coffee table in an ongoing attempt to lower my Ikea to non-Ikea furniture ratio. Yes, this area rug is from Ikea, but The Great Pizza Box Fire of 2014 destroyed my non-Ikea rug, and I needed an affordable replacement! One step forward, two steps back…
This coffee table was built the same way I built my mid-century modern side table, but with a few modifications. I used pre-stain wood conditioner this time to prevent streaking and blotching. On a bigger job like this, you won’t be able to hide the ugly parts with succulents and a strategically placed Beyoncé print.
You can follow the same directions I used to build the side table. Just be sure to use these new measurements.
2 – 1″x12″-6′ common boards – 4 pieces that are cut 36″ long
(the top & bottom boards)
1 – 1″x4″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 22.5″ long
(the side boards)
Since I already had the gel stain and clear coat left over from building the side table, it only cost me $88 to make this coffee table! That’s cheaper than the Ikea rug it’s sitting on…
I’m obsessed with all things Mid-Century modern, and when I saw this Co-Mod side table, I knew that I needed it in my life. But it was $345. And sold out. And $345. I felt like that needed to be mentioned twice.
Because I’ve mastered the art of assembling Ikea furniture (and tested many friendships along the way), I thought that I should try building this side table myself. I went to Home Depot, showed them a photo on my phone and was basically like, “HOW YOU DO DIS?” If you act like you don’t know what you’re doing (or you’re like me and you legitimately do not know what you’re doing), the good people at Home Depot will help you. They will tell you what paint brush you should use to apply clear coat. They will tell you what clear coat is. They will even cut your wood down to the exact size that you need at no extra charge.
1″x8″-10′ common board – 4 pieces that are cut 20″ long
(the top & bottom boards)
1″x6″-6′ common board – 2 pieces that are cut 14.5″ long
(the side boards)
DIRECTIONS:
Sand your boards. I used 150 grit sandpaper and sanded in the direction of the grain until it felt smooth. After your boards are sanded, wipe them down with a damp cloth to remove excess sawdust before staining them. This is probably something you should do outdoors in a well-ventilated area and not inside your 400 square foot studio during the only weekend it rains in Los Angeles. I still have sawdust in places I didn’t know I could get sawdust.
Stain your boards. Use gloves unless you want to have to keep explaining to everyone why your hands are brown for the next three days. You can use an old t-shirt, or if you’re a hoarder like me and can’t bear to part with your ‘I ♥ Haters’ shirt, you can get a pack of paint rags from Home Depot for $4 and use those instead. I used one to apply the stain to the wood and one to wipe off the excess. It dries pretty fast, so I was able to coat all sides without waiting. I only applied one coat, but you can apply more if you want it darker. Let the boards dry completely.
Apply clear coat. I applied it to one side of the boards using a synthetic paint brush. Give it a couple hours to dry, then turn your boards over and apply it to the other side.
Assemble your side table. Use two 20″ boards for the bottom, two 20″ boards for the top, and the remaining 14.5″ boards for the sides. Here’s a helpful diagram:
Nail the two top boards to the long edge of the side boards, and repeat on the bottom. Use two nails on each end of each board as pictured. I had someone hold the boards together for me while I hammered away.
Mount the legs. I set the legs 2″ from the edges and marked where the screws would go. I pre-drilled pilot holes and screwed the legs on with sixteen 3/4″ screws. Depending on what kind of legs you buy, you might have a different method for attaching them.
You can build your own Mid-Century modern inspired side table for roughly $78 (for just the wood and the hairpin legs, if you happen to have the other materials). You really can’t beat that price or the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel after building something with your bare, wood-stained hands.
Other things pictured:
Painted succulent pots designed by me (DIY tutorial here)
Task lamp from Target
Beyoncé print designed by me (sold on Etsy)
Bedding from Anthropologie
Bed from West Elm (discontinued!)
What you’ll need:
Clay pots in various sizes
Acrylic spray paint
Painter’s tape
Succulents
Potting Soil
Clear sealant (optional)
Directions:
Spray the clay pots with acrylic paint. I used Krylon spray paint in Mambo Pink, Flat White and Sea Glass.
Let them dry completely before taping off whatever pattern or shape your heart desires and painting them with an accent color. I used Krylon’s Gold Metallic spray paint for the triangles.
If you plan on keeping your clay pots outdoors, make sure you weatherproof them with clear sealant. Otherwise, you can go ahead and plant your succulents!
This is an easy way to add some color to your home. The hard part (for me anyway) is keeping the plants alive!
Partly to fund my Amazon addiction, but mostly because I hate myself, I picked up some freelance work designing eblasts for a cooking website during the holidays. I can feel my stomach eating itself looking at all this food porn right now…
Update (6/9): For those of you who asked—and by ‘those of you’ I mean ANTHONY, and by ‘asked’ I mean demanded—you can download all the songs from this playlist here. Enjoy, my lovelies!
I’ve got such a boner for this limited edition of Scrabble Typography. Does the thought of getting a triple word score using multiple fonts make anyone else’s heart race? Also, what’s wrong with me?
Chel sent me this photo and said it made her think of me 🙂
If you ever come over unexpectedly, there’s a good chance I won’t have any pants on. Just kidding. (Even if I was expecting you, I still wouldn’t have any pants on.)
Shi: I like this new Salvador film for the Hipstamatic app me: (looking at her iPhone) Ooh. Like Salvador Dali. Shi: Who? me:Salvador Dali. The artist? That’s his mustache. Shi: I don’t know who that is… I thought it was a bathing suit top!
I received Belle’s thank you card in the mail today for my baby shower gift, and she said the Miles print I made for their baby room was her “absolute fave gift of all.”
I’m not gonna lie… my gift was pretty fucking sweet.
I’m looking for a graphic design intern to assist me with overflow work. If you’re well-versed in Photoshop/HTML, don’t mind working with a bunch of female twenty-somethings, and kick ass in Taboo, please respond to our Craigslist ad here.
Needless to say, the guy who sent me his cover letter in Comic Sans will not be getting a call back from me.
I went to TNT at the Museum of Contemporary Art downtown last night. After work, I took the trolley from Old Town and got ogled by three different men at three different stops on the 9-minute ride. Public transportation is for the pervs! Chel, Christine, Anthony and I had a light dinner at St. Tropez. While the food was just okay and the hip hop music distracted from the French ambiance, we did, however, enjoy how our seats vibrated every fifteen minutes from the passing trolley buses—Yes, even Anthony enjoyed it. And yes, it’s been entirely too long since I’ve had a man.
We hit up MCASD afterward, and some of the artwork was just beyond me, but I did enjoy this one piece by Vhils made of sculpted brick wall with plaster and paint:
I also enjoyed the Stone IPA, the 9 o’clock Mexican and seeing three of our collective ex’s. Yeah, that wasn’t awkward.
Several street artists, including Shepard Fairey and Banksy, did public commissions around downtown, so def check them out if you’re in the area.
I’ve made cupcakes for a few of Kristin’s parties, so she asked me to make a Hello Kitty cake for her niece’s birthday. I can make cupcakes in my sleep, but I’ve never actually baked and decorated an entire cake before. I decided to make a practice cake first, just in case I was in over my head.
Isn’t this a pretty kitty? (That’s what she said.) Too bad this cake won’t stay fresh till next weekend! I’ll have to make another one on Friday, and now I’m left with a Hello Kitty cake that I’m not going to eat… How weird would it be if I showed up at my uncle’s retirement party with this thing?
While vacationing in NYC years ago, I managed to get myself and Pammie lost in the city. We got off the train when I realized we were going the wrong way and found ourselves alone with Milo Ventimiglia at an otherwise empty subway stop. Seeing him in person was like hearing the Beatles for the first time, and I was rendered speechless. I got on the subway without asking him to father my children, and it has been my #3 regret in life ever since (don’t ask me what the first two are—I’m taking them to my grave!).
I loved taking the subway everywhere, and I die a little each minute I’m sitting in traffic at home in California. In memory of my trip, I’ve made some NYC-inspired magnets, complete with my old maps that got us lost in the city. Hopefully they will be of more use to you on your fridge than they were for me in New York! You can buy them here.
Prints of this illustration I designed are now available in my Etsy shop for $10! They are 11″ x 17″ and professionally printed by digital press on 100 lb. paper gloss.
By the end of this month, I will have attended three baby showers and two weddings this year—none of which are my own. But I’m not bitter. Maybe a little tired of explaining to my grandma why I’m not married with children, but not bitter.
Making diaper cakes is not nearly as fun as making babies.
So, we saw this, threw in the design towel, found a quiet dark corner, cried & ate chocolate. Three syllable word A-MA-ZING. These lovelies come from Mayan Rocks who we found via Hifiweddings.com.
Oh So Beautiful Paper featured the wedding invitations I designed for Chel on their website. No big deal 😉 I couldn’t be happier if they were invitations to my own wedding! Actually, let’s not get carried away now…
Raechel and Alex’s DIY wedding invitations are all about two of my favorite things – music and kraft paper! Raechel worked with her cousin Marion to design the invitations, incorporating Raechel and Alex’s shared love of music throughout the wedding stationery while using a typewriter font and copper brads for a slight vintage vibe:
Check out the rest of the feature here and additional work in my portfolio.
I had a craftastic evening with the bride-to-be and her bevy of bridesmaids. I finished the wedding invitations while the girls worked on the centerpieces. Check us out—designing invitations, hot gluing sticks together (or in Shi’s case, her hair), living in a personal hell I call diet and exercise in order to fit into our dresses… Being a bridesmaid is serious work! It’s a good thing I love this broad.
The design geek inside of me is lusting after these Helvetica Cookie Cutters. My love for typography has joined forces with my love for baking! It couldn’t be more perfect than Helvetica itself.
Now who do I have to bone to combine my love for carbs with my love for not exercising?
Just received the final version of the cover of my wedding invitations. Thanks so much to the talented Mayan for designing the whole thing!! 143!
I tried to capture Chel’s vintage style while incorporating everything she wanted—layers of sheet music, lace, typewriter font, and her wedding colors, pink and brown. The invitations will be printed on cream linen cardstock. I can’t wait to see how they turn out 🙂
Pammie, Shi, Anthony and I went to Chel’s house last night to help her with wedding stuff. Chel asked me to design her wedding invitations, and I couldn’t be more honored 🙂 She has 300 guests and is trying to keep the wedding costs down. It’s a good thing I work for lychee sake and tator tots.
The Cake Boss asked me to go out to some bar my friends were spinning at, McLovin’ texted me at an unholy hour, and I even had a brief exchange with Il Postino last night. When it rains, it pours I guess. There’s no where in the world I’d rather be than with these crazy bitches, though. God forbid I miss conversations like this…
Anthony: I was texting Chel about your website, and she got really annoyed because I kept calling it your “page”… Chel: It’s called a blog. Stop calling it that. Anthony: Whatever, I’ll call it her pagina if I want to. Chel: Oh, is that what you were calling it? Page in spanish? All this time I thought you were texting me pagina. Like vagina with a p!
I’m in love with my Illustration class at the Art Institute. For our last assignment, we had to create an illustration based on an inspirational quote of our choice. This was my end result.
Update: Prints of this illustration are now available in my Etsy shop! They are 11″ x 17″ and professionally printed by digital press on 100 lb. paper gloss.
