Dude, check out what we’ve been working on all afternoon.

I’m supposed to be finishing the last book of a certain love saga that shall not be named so that I can watch the movie today with the girls (if you know what I’m talking about, I will judge you, but I’m already super busy judging myself, so don’t feel too bad about it).

Instead of reading, I’ve been staring at this animated gif from Happy Endings all morning. I laughed so hard during this scene that I scared my dog!

I find that my feelings toward work this week are best expressed through animated gifs. In addition, I really picked the most inopportune time to lay off the booze.

After watching Justin Timberlake’s dry humping scene in Bad Teacher, I thought I could never love him again.

I was wrong.

Add a tub of ice cream and you’ve got my Valentine’s Day plans for 2012.

Some days, we only speak in movie quotes.

Loved, loved, loved 50/50… even though my friends totally served me during this scene! Just because my car is a perpetual mess… and we often clean it out when we’re near a dumpster… and I sometimes stalk my ex boyfriends on facebook.

Don’t judge me.

The only thing better than Ryan Gosling in a suit is Ryan Gosling eating pizza in a suit. That slice from Sbarro bumps this animated gif up from a 10 to an 11!

Now who do I have to sleep with around here for someone to seed this Crazy Stupid Love torrent that’s been stuck at 56% for the past three hours???

Liberty Station’s Summer Movie Mania night consisted of Mona Lisa sandwiches, wine, brie, Jessie’s brownies, my favorite girls, and Tom Cruise before his crazy couch jumping days.

Quote of the night:

Who needs a boy to keep you warm when you’ve got wine?

TOM: Why’d you dance with me?
SUMMER: ‘Cause I wanted to.
TOM: You just do what you want, don’t you?

I had dinner and drinks at Craft and Commerce with four of my faves last night… four and a half if you count Chel’s 32-week belly! Is it weird that it wasn’t the first time this week that I hit up a bar with one of my preggo friends? I had drinks with Belle at Cottonwood Golf Club after work the other day. The bartender poured me another double vodka cranberry to-go before we made our way next door to a dry charity event for some silent auction action and complimentary noms from Outback.

We’re a couple of classy broads.

At Alicia’s dirty thirty last night, I realized that A) I should just automatically assume that every guy who pursues me is in a relationship (as my ongoing track record suggests) and B) maybe I shouldn’t have worn leggings. I can’t even tell you how many people grabbed my ass! I went home alone last night and I’m not gonna lie, I feel pretty good about not having to take a shame shower. I don’t care how hot you are (or how drunk I am), some guys just aren’t worth the trouble… I may have woken up this morning with dollar bills in my bra and a serious hangover, but at least I still had my dignity!

This must be how Reese Witherspoon felt in Pleasantville when she started reading books and stopped being such a whore.

Today was especially rough.

I was sitting here after my workout, watching Unwrapped: Sandwiches on the Food Network (torture, I know). They featured the Grilled Cheese Invitational in LA, and I decided that this event would be well deserved after the @MindzAlike #BLC was over. I googled it, and of course it’s happening the weekend before this BLC ends! Boo whore. That would have been the ultimate celebratory meal.

Five weeks left, and I’m on top with over 20 pounds lost. Those delicious grilled cheese sandwiches will just have to wait till next year…

Between the two of us, Pammie and I know eighteen* girls who got knocked up last year. Eighteen*. Can we all just take a second to acknowledge how ridiculously high that number is? It’s only January, and I’ve already been invited to three baby showers. We’ve clearly been using the iPeriod app for different reasons.

*Update: Nineteen (damn it, Belle!)

Ellen: [About him and Michelle Williams] I like you individually, I like you as a couple, I don’t know if you guys are a couple, you’re being cagey about it, I know that. If you’re a couple I’m all for it. Wait, you’re pedaling faster, what’s happening?
Ryan: I’m trying to get away from this conversation.

Penny & The Quarters – You and Me
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Penny and the Quarters – You and Me.mp3]

I started my birthday week how I usually do—with a good cry and a hot bearded fellow (in this case, Ryan Gosling).

Can’t wait to watch Blue Valentine tonight with the girls!

I literally judge books by their cover, and Something Borrowed caught my eye five years ago. It was so good that I spread it like herpes and gave it to all my girlfriends. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought it was amazeballs, and it has been turned into a movie! It won’t be released till next year, but the girls and I attended a private screening of it last night. I expected to be disappointed, as I usually am with film adaptations of books I’ve read (The Da Vinci Code, Twilight), but the four of us who have read the book thought the movie did it justice, and my other two friends loved it without having read the book first. I think I’ve said all I’m legally allowed to say per the confidentiality agreement I had to sign, but I can’t wait for the movie to be released next year so I can watch it again (and see if my anonymous suggestion for more shots of Colin Egglesfield with his shirt off was taken into consideration).

Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Funniest. Movie. Ever. Go see it!

Watching Takers with the girls last night sparked a new found interest in Paul Walker. YOWZA. I love a man in a suit, whether it be business or birthday 😉

More photos of Paul Walker suited up in GQ here.

Update: I just watched Paul Walker in Running Scared, and apparently I also love a man in a plaid button down with a gun in his hand. He is GANGSTA in this movie! And now he has officially taken up permanent residence in my Freebie Five.

Meaghan Smith – Here Comes Your Man
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/Meaghan Smith – Here Comes Your Man.mp3]

I just won a signed copy of Meaghan Smith’s latest record, The Cricket’s Orchestra! I’ve been of fan of hers ever since she covered the Pixies’ Here Comes Your Man on the 500 Days of Summer soundtrack. She picked three random winners from her email subscription list, and I was one of them! I didn’t even know she was having a contest! I’ve never won anything in my life… What a great way to kick off my weekend 🙂

Vegas tomorrow!

Pammie and I were given free tickets to Comic-Con on Sunday. I knew I was out of place when I looked up at the big screen and thought out loud, "What movie is this?" and some dude looked at me like I was crazy and said, "It’s Return of the Jedi!" I’m pretty sure I was the only one within a 10-mile radius who hadn’t seen a single Star Wars movie.

While I was at the Iron Man booth, Pammie ran up to me and said, "Guess who’s here?!?!?" And I was like, "Robert Downey Jr?!?" And she was like, "Kevin from the Jabbawockeez!" I mean…!

As we waited in line for the panels, the girl with the Fringe tote in front of us said, "Too bad you guys got the sucky Vampire Diaries themed tote bags!" Um. We totally traded a small child and an old man our original Batman bags for these “sucky” Vampire Diaries bags! LOL.

We missed the Glee panel, but we were able to get into Sons of Anarchy. OH. MY. JAX. He is officially in my Freebie Five!

Inception was AMAZING. It’s def the best movie I’ve seen so far in 2010. Granted, the list of movies I’ve seen this year include Eclipse and Dear John, but don’t let that cheapen its awesomeness (or your view of me as a person). Go watch it!

I probably shouldn’t rely on my FortuneBall app to make any life-altering decisions.

I mean… is this kid 18 yet? I need to know this information before I comment on his V-line.

This evening left me all kinds of satisfied:

• Good food: Japanese tapas at Yakitori Yakyudori (bacon wrapped asparagus!!!) followed by dessert at Babycakes
• Good company: Pammie, Chel, Shi, Anthony, Christine and Cynthia
• Good movie: Eclipse, baby! Don’t judge us.

(image via Run Into Flowers)

How have I not heard about this movie till now? Considering Joseph Gordon Levitt and Leo DiCaprio were both (at one time or another) in my Freebie Five, my vagina could not be more excited.

Christine, Shi, Chel and I hit up The Pearl Hotel for dinner, drinks and Dive-in Theatre tonight. They were showing Sex and the City: The Movie poolside, so we thought we’d get together and watch it for the millionth time.

Shi: (looking at the menu) What’s a pom-us fritz?
Mayan: Pommes frites! It’s what you’re eating, crazy! French fries!

I wish I wasn’t so mean about it. Karma’s only a bitch if you are (as I would find out later). How is she supposed to know what pommes frites is, or how to say it? This is the girl who thought we made up the word aioli, after all.

I love it when I arrive for dinner and there’s a cocktail already waiting for me:

Our pommes frites appetizer tasted like skinny In-N-Out fries (my favorite!):

The highlight of my evening… prosciutto-wrapped shrimp skewer with fig/onion marinade:

And the lowlight of my evening… eating shit on the way back to my car with Chel. I tripped over the curb, scraped my elbows and knees, bruised my shins, and ripped a hole in my favorite jeans.

I’m sorry, Shi… You can call it “pom-us fritz” if you want to.

Well, I’d say I’ve successfully fulfilled my nostalgia quota for the week year.

This trip down memory lane ended at my old friend/ex-love’s 30th birthday party last night. It’s strange to see someone you’ve spent so much of your life with and feel nothing… And to think of someone else you didn’t spend nearly enough time with and feel everything.

500 Days of Summer at Cinema Under the Stars tonight. Can”t wait ♥

If a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions.

What an awesome movie to have my first IMAX 3D experience in! Loved, loved, loved it ♥

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
Alice: I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

He’ll never learn, cabrona. But then again, neither will you…

(image via sberon)

I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I’ll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

WANT.

For some people, love doesn’t exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

Working with people who get my pop culture references is the only thing that helps me keep my sanity—especially on days like this when I have to finish four newsletters and three homepage banners in one week because this Monday is a holiday, and deadlines don’t care about your scheduled days off (even if they’re unpaid).

Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be complete without torturing yourself with bad romance movies.

I woke up to three messages on my phone from Il Postino at two in the morning. Nothing good ever happens at that hour.

(image via thewordsalloverme)

I’m not gonna lie—my vagina is pretty excited.

Okay so my friend just totally had a baby. She didn’t even know she was pregnant! She had back pain and went to the ER, and they told her that there was a baby inside her causing all that pain! WTF? There’s an entire show dedicated to this sort of thing on the Discovery Channel. It’s like one of those things that you think will never happen to you or anyone you know. I feel like I would just know if I was pregnant. Like how do you not know? Wouldn’t you feel it? Except this one time, I was lounging around our hotel room in Vegas, and I didn’t notice that my right boob had fallen out of my dress when I got up to get more wine. It was like a scene out of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, sans the speed dating. I was walking around and Marisa was like, “Your boob! Your boooob!” You’d think that I’d notice with the breeze and everything, but I didn’t. Hmm… Maybe I should get my babymaker checked to make sure there’s no Mexican hiding in there.

We all fall for them. Pricks are spontaneous, unpredictable and fun—and then we’re surprised when they turn out to be pricks.

Lykke Li – “Possibility”
[audio:http://www.mayanrocks.com/blog/possibility.mp3]

So tell me when you hear my heart stop
You’re the only who knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There’s a possibility I wouldn’t know

Watch 500 Days of Summer… It’ll change your life, I swear.

I watched this in my film class and was inspired. Is it weird that I think it’s hot that J.J. Abrams knows what registration marks are?

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

I met Pammie at the Belly Up after midterms to catch the Rooney show. It’s been years since I saw them last, and they were as awesome as I remember them (if not better). The Redwalls opened and they were a nice surprise. Both bands remind me of the Beatles and you know how much I love the Beatles.

Here’s Rooney performing “Calling the World”…

I didn’t think to tape the Redwalls, but here’s a vid of them performing one of the songs they played last night, “Game of Love”…

You can check out the rest of the videos here.