(via @sweetannieod)

(via @akaiboyce32)

Are all goalies like this? 🥹

(via @espn)

Tom Wilson (my favorite hockey player and general light of my life) got into a brawl on the bench (he was suspended for six games last year for hitting another player in the face with his hockey stick, and has previously been suspended five different times before that). All the while, these two softies on opposing teams are holding hands in the back watching the fight unfold 😆

My favorite dessert while vacationing in the Philippines was taho – soft silken tofu with brown sugar syrup and sago (tapioca pearls) or boba. It’s a cheap, refreshing snack that’s available almost anywhere. In populous areas, there’s usually a man walking up and down the street yelling, “Tahoooo!” They have two metal covered buckets balancing on a wooden pole on their shoulders filled with taho accoutrements.

I was craving taho after we came back to the. U.S. so I made some for me and my family following this easy recipe. My parents said it tasted just like home, and my mom volunteered me to make it for an upcoming party at my Uncle’s house.

I bought some metal pails for the tofu and boba, a coffee carafe to keep the brown sugar syrup warm, and clear cups for people to build their own taho. I decorated the table with a festive Mexican blanket, a letterboard with instructions, and these hats made out of palm leaves that a hospitality worker from the resort we stayed at in El Nido made for us on our first trip to the Philippines 5 years ago.

You guys, I don’t half ass anything—I always use my whole ass 🍑😜

I woke up in a bad mood.

It’s been crazy at work this week, since they let go of six designers and expect the rest of us to pick up the slack. I haven’t even lunch’d with Nori once this week! I fell asleep right after work yesterday, and it was way too late to eat dinner by the time I finally woke up, so I just went back to bed.

I had to wake up butt ass early this morning to go to SD, so I double doordashed a breakfast burrito from Caps & Corks Liquor and a cold brew from Coffee Bean. The burrito arrived and was left on my front doormat while I was in the shower. The coffee arrived half an hour later. I was like, ‘I’ll just grab it on my way out and eat/drink it in the car.’ I opened my door to leave and only saw the coffee there. I checked my Doordash app and the dasher took a picture of it on my doormat so I know he delivered it to the right apartment.

This guy is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!

I emailed Michael Douglas (my building manager, not the actor LOL), to ask him to look at the security footage to see who took my burrito. There’s cameras all over my building and signs everywhere that you’re being recorded. It turns out it was the dasher who delivered my coffee who stole my burrito. Eat a bag of dicks, Germano!

I was already hangry from skipping dinner last night, then this asshole stole my breakfast burrito, then a stupid Rivian truck cut me off on the 405 on the 3-hour drive down to SD where it was pouring rain the whole time.

Why do I have such bad luck with burritos in LA? Both literally and figuratively 😆

(via @nick_tellez)

(via @ben.and.zara)

(via @childishmazbino)

Usually, my instagram algorithm is nothing but dogs and Moo Deng, but these videos popped up on my feed and I’m into it 🤘🏼

…or me watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs and googling how old these hot hockey players are. Born in 2004?! I have piercings that are older than you 👵🏻

‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time

I’ve been following this guy ever since I heard him sing a cover of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ on YouTube. I can’t stand Ed Sheeran, and Leroy Sanchez made this song more palatable and 1000x better 😆

So let’s just say goodbye for now
Who knows one day our time may come around

He finally dropped his first full-length album, and it did not disappoint! This is my favorite track 💔

Actual footage of me listening to this album on the drive back to LA last night 😅

My sister’s mother-in-law always treats my family out to lunch on major holidays at Barona (where she’s a Diamond member), so I made her an Easter-themed charcuterie board. I also made one for my mom, because I know that crazy b will be butt hurt if I give one to my sister’s MIL and not her 😆

Pammie has been having serious thyroid issues, so her doctor suggested she cut out gluten, soy and dairy before it becomes full blown Hashimoto’s disease.

She has been doing so well, and I wanted to make something special she could eat. One of my favorite dishes ever is the Spicy Fusilli Vodka at Jon & Vinny’s in LA. Carbs and alcohol? What’s not to love? Luckily, vodka is naturally gluten-free, so I just found some gluten-free pasta, dairy-free parm, and replaced the heavy cream with coconut milk. Normally, I don’t like coconut in savory food, but you couldn’t even tell I swapped the dairy out. The result was *chef’s kiss* 😙🤌

Usually, I hate meal prepping for myself, but I don’t mind doing it for my sister, or even for our old dog, Rocky. I used to cut up vegetables and cook chicken for him when we started feeding him fresh food during the last years of his life 😭 You make concessions for the ones you love…

(via @hungryinla)

I’ve been meaning to try this breakfast burrito spot since I first saw @hungryinla post about it. It’s nearby and down PCH in Hermosa Beach. They only have breakfast burritos Friday-Sunday, and you have to pre-order them on instagram starting on Wednesdays. Only in fucking LA do you have to pre-order your food on instagram. It seemed like a lot of trouble for a breakfast burrito, so I never thought to do it till earlier this week when I was having lunch across the street from it and remembered they were there.

(@ Baran’s 2239)

I ordered the no-meat breakfast burrito (I love me some bacon or chorizo in my burrito, but I’m still not eating pork 😩). I got home and cut this baby open and it was full of fucking bacon. I tried to pick around it, but it was stuck in there with all that gooey cheese. I’m just gonna give it to my sister’s husband when I head down to SD this weekend. Bah! I DM’d the resto on IG, and they were super apologetic. I’m gonna come back next Friday to take another stab at the no-meat breakfast burrito.

It came with red and green salsas, too. My go-to breakfast burrito spot up here was Phanny’s in Redondo. The burrito was good, but I asked for salsa, and they gave me a dang Tapatio packet. I would have given them five stars on Google for the burrito and the ocean view, but had to knock off one star for not having housemade salsa.

What’s a girl gotta do to get a good burrito in LA? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I make gift bags for my friends every holiday—it’s my love language (yes, BBQ is also my love language… your girl’s hella lingual). I always include stuff for their husbands because I get along swimmingly with all of them 😊 I always pack extra Nerds Gummy Clusters for Jessie’s husband because it’s his favorite candy. She knows that, so I think she ate them on purpose 😜

• Lost Farm Strawberry Pink Jesus Live Resin Fruit Chews – partly because He is risen, but mostly because Easter falls on 420 😜
• Sugarfina Easter Bunny Tails
• Sour Punch Easter Straws
• Nerds Gummy Clusters Easter Variety Mix
• Haribo Easter Spring Mix Egg Hunt
• Sour Patch Kids Easter Bunnies Theater Box
• Starburst Easter Original Fun Size
• See’s Candies Scotchmallow Eggs
• Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs
• Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Easter Candy Gift Bag
• Twix Easter Minis
• Snickers Minis Milk Chocolate Easter Candy Bars
• Kit Kat Miniatures Milk Chocolate Wafer Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Crème Polka Dot Eggs Easter Candy

You guys, I’m not mad at this bunny filter. Hoppy Easter, y’all! 🐰

Nori and I always play Wordle, Connections and Strands on our lunch break. We stopped by Starbucks to split a brownie, and they had a bunch of board games, so we played a couple rounds of Connect Four, too.

The last time I remember playing Connect Four was at a dessert cafe in Los Feliz with Deane after a concert one night. I was so drunk, that I dropped the cookie I was eating into the grid instead of a token 😆 Apparently, I’m no better at this game when I’m sober, because I lost every single game to Nori today 😅

My AOL screen name used to be GUMMYI3EAR, and I used to watch the Adventures of the Gummi Bears cartoon every Saturday morning when I was a kid. All to say, my special relationship with gummy bears spans decades 🤪

When I visited the bestie earlier this month, her youngest daughter was telling me about the viral TikTok trend of gummy bears soaked in Sprite and frozen. She said she tried it and it turned out sooo good, and she also tried it with ginger ale and it tasted better than the ones soaked in Sprite.

(via @thefeedfeed)

This reel popped up on my feed yesterday, and knew I had to try it myself. I had leftover gummy bears from the gift bags I made for Easter, and since I don’t drink soda, I picked up a prebiotic Olipop Ginger Ale to soak them in 😆

Were they worth the hype? Ehh, I’m a purist. I’d rather eat plain gummy bears. I also don’t think I like Olipop in any flavor. It contains stevia instead of real sugar, and I’d rather have no sugar than fake sweetener. I’m the kind of girl who can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi (if the resto only had Pepsi, I’d just get water!). I was so bummed when Costco switched from Coke to Pepsi in all their food courts back in the day, and this year they switched back to Coke, but I don’t drink soda anymore 😭

(via @drfeliciaphd)

I had a routine mammogram last week. They found breast cancer in two of my dear friends during routine mammograms in the past few years, so I already have anxiety going in. I got a message that they have to redo my mammogram because they didn’t get a good image of my left breast. The tech who did my mammo was too distracted figuring out what kind of Asian I was to do her job, and now I have to go back.

To be fair, I never know what kind of Asian people are (Japanese, Korean, Chinese… I can’t tell the difference 😅), but I would never ask someone what kind of Asian they are. I was at Sugarfina last week, and this black dude visiting the cashier asked what kind of Asian I was, and I was like, ‘Filipino’ and he was like, ‘I love Pacquiao!’ 🙄 I haven’t liked Pacquaio since he made some homophobic comments. Please don’t associate him with all Filipinos.

At least my bewbs are very squishy and malleable like stress balls LOL, so mammogram machines flattening the shit out of my tits isn’t painful for me. Plus, the women’s imaging center is next to Torikizoku, so I’ll reward myself with some yakitori afterward 😆

We always have little earthquakes in LA, but they never feel them in San Diego and vice versa. This morning, as I was in a group text with the girls chatting about one of their employees at UCSD asking to come in late today because they were still recovering from Coachella (like just say you aren’t feeling well and be on your way!), an earthquake hit SD, and it was so strong, I felt it in LA!

I hope everyone’s okay. Also, if this is an indication that the big one is coming, I should probably start wearing pants to bed.

*types in chonies*

Prosecco & Pals Booze & Bitches (@ Gravity Heights)

Full Pink Moon tonight ✨

It’s no secret that I love Moo Deng the pygmy hippo, but IDK if I’ll ever make it to Thailand to see her in person.

Also, I always have my Pic Stitch app cued up whenever the opportunity arises to do a side-by-side comparison 😆

Another pygmy hippo, Poppy, was born last December at Metro Richmond Zoo in Virginia. Domestic flights to Richmond from LAX are pretty cheap, plus I have hella Southwest points. Anyone want to go with me on a weekend trip to Richmond? 😆 If pygmy hippos aren’t your thing, CNN Travel also named Richmond #1 on their list of America’s Best Towns to Visit in 2024!

Do I like hockey now? Or just Tom Wilson from the Capitals?

Or just whatever the hell is happening in this video? 😏

According to Google, ‘Average professional hockey players retire between the ages of 25–30, but most players hang up the skates long before this’. Am I too old to be a puck bunny? (Don’t answer that).

I get my nails done off of PCH, so it’s always a nice drive to and from the salon. They had Kitchen Nightmares on as I was getting my nails done, and I was tearing up because Gordon Ramsay was yelling at this dad/owner of a Greek resto that needed help. I couldn’t even wipe the tear rolling down my cheek, because Cindy was doing my nails LOL. I watch a lot of food shows, but they’re all on The Food Network. I’m much too sensitive for these off-network shows! The family on TV was sad, too, that the dad was getting yelled at, and the girl getting her nails done next to me yelled, ‘If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!’ I was thinking, ‘Is she yelling at me or the TV?’ 😅

Anyway, here is part of my drive home set to the saddest song ever 😭

If you thought I was gonna doordash food from The Empanada Shop on National Empanada Day, you weren’t wrong.

I also got an apple pie churro empanada for dessert. Or shall I say mmm-panada 😋 (I’ll see myself out).

FYI, I hate raisins in empanadas, and I tell anyone who will listen. I don’t mind them in sweet stuff, but I don’t like raisins in savory food. I also don’t like coconut in savory food (coconut shrimp, thai food, etc.), but don’t mind it in dessert. I also don’t like pineapple in savory food. Ordering a Hawaiian pizza is blasphemous and a dealbreaker. You should be writing this down 📝

Today is the bestie’s birthday 🥳 I spent the weekend with her and gave her some goodies.

(via @wearebewell)

She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and has been getting weekly chemo treatments. She was just telling me how she has to keep her arm out of her jacket for the IV, and how cold it gets in the treatment room, so this gift was perfect!

I gave her some souvenirs from my Japan trip, most notably this amulet I picked up from the Meiji Shrine that’s supposed to be for recovery from illness. I got myself the amulet for finding a good partner 😅

I also sent her this stuffie, partly bc I love getting surprises in the mail, but mostly because I know she hates capybaras but this stuffie is so cute! It’s out for delivery, so IDK what her reaction is yet 😆

When Alicia’s husband complimented me on the shirt I was wearing, I was like, ‘My eyes are up here, Ray.’ 😜

I was subscribing to Factor meals for a while, but there are some nights I’d rather doordash a chalupa from Taco Bell than eat a nutritious pre-made meal. After two weeks of giving the meals to Christine (because I didn’t want to waste a week of dinners, plus I knew that they’d make that busy mama’s life easier), I canceled my subscription and she gave me a bunch of girl scout cookies in return 😜

She asked me what flavors I liked, and I was like, ‘I’ll have one… One of everything!’ 😅 Her kid’s connect didn’t have the new french toast cookies (toast-yays), so she reached out to an old friend (who also happens to be my ex’s ex-girlfriend) because her kid is a girl scout and was selling that flavor. If that’s not a ride-or-die, I don’t know what is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My blood-glucose levels spiked after eating a sleeve of Thin Mints, so I need to slow the fuck down on inhhaling these 😅 *checks expiration dates*

(via @kelseydianeblog)

The girls ask me who I’m fucking on the regular (my married friends like to live vicariously through me and think my single life in LA is way more exciting than it actually is).

You guys, the only thing keeping my bed warm at night is this Beetlejuice squishmallow Christine’s kids gave me for Christmas and this Moo Deng plushie my mom’s baby sister gave me as a thank you for treating them out in Japan.

Sidenote: The first thing I did when I found out about the tragic 7.7 earthquake in Thailand was make sure Moo Deng was ok 😅 (she’s at the Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Si Racha, Chonburi, Thailand).

…or how I ask for favors at work.

On an unrelated note, I just completed the company-mandated sexual harassment training in Workday this week, and can confirm that I’m wildly inappropriate 😅

It smells like Doyer dogs and betrayal up in here (@ Dodger Stadium)

I don’t always root for the Dodgers, but when I do, it’s while wearing crude apparel on Shohei Ohtani bobblehead giveaway night ✌🏼⚾

Update: I was born and bred in San Diego, and it’s sacrilege to support the Dodgers there 😅 I never wear my Dodgers hat when I’m in SD or my Padres hat when I’m in LA (except for that one time I went to a playoff game at Dodger Stadium and the Padres got murdered). But my rack really does look fantastic here LOL, so I had to post it, if only for the one person who still reads this thing (Hi, Shirley May 👋🏼).

I know it’s gonna be a good day if I see a dog while stuck in traffic, or if I hear Hoobastank on the radio while driving.

On an unrelated note, my sister loaned me some of her Prozac until mine can get refilled later this week 🤪

Is this an actual commercial? It feels like an SNL skit 🙄

It’s giving Liam Neeson in Taken.

Also, last I checked, most mass shooters and meth heads in the US were white. Stop blaming immigrants for America’s problems.

Partly because Nori observes Lent and can’t eat meat on Fridays, but mostly because I wanted to go to the beach (@ Playa Hermosa Fish & Oyster Co.)

Mumford & Sons – Rushmere

Light me up, I’m wasted in the dark
Rushmere, restless hearts in the end

Lord Huron – Nothing I Need

You’re the one I’ll never get
And you’re the one thing that I need

New music from Mumford & Lord Huron today 💔

Linkin Park, Evanescence and Sum 41 also released new songs today 😳 Is it 2001? Am I late for my shift at Parkway Plaza???

Not sure if I’m sad because I’m watching Adolescence (Netflix’s #1 show right now about a 13yo boy accused of stabbing a girl to death), because they let go of 6 designers from my web team at work this week with zero notice and now the rest of us have to pick up the slack, or because I ran out of anti-depressants 😅 The pharmacy won’t have it for 3-5 business days, so do with that information what you will.

You guys, I ate 10 egg salad sandwiches while I was in Japan. I was only there for 7 days, and I didn’t eat one on the first day. You do the horrifying math. All the convenience stores had it, and there was a 7-Eleven across from our hotel room. There was one on every block, really. I didn’t discriminate, either, I tried a convenience store egg salad sandwich from 7-Eleven, Lawson’s and the 24-hour store inside my sister’s hotel—all were equally delicious. There was even a 7-Eleven at the airport, so I picked up a sandwich for the plane ride 😅 I don’t ever eat egg salad sandwiches in the US, and the last time I remember eating one before my Japan trip was at my Grandpa Robert’s funeral in 1989 😳 I def had to try and recreate it.

I was looking up where I can get authentic Japanese milk bread in LA, and I found Ginza Nikishiwa, this ghost kitchen on Santa Monica Blvd that sells out of loaves daily within minutes of opening. The owner found out that someone was reselling loaves and marking up the price (like the dude who sells Porto’s out of his car in SD!), so she limits how many you can buy per order now. I don’t need all that stress in my life, so I just instacarted some milk bread from Tokyo Central 😅

I followed this recipe and was transported back to Tokyo.

Y’all. When it hits your lips… 美味しい

(via @patrickbarnesvine)

The first dog I ever followed on Instagram has passed away at 16, and I am unwell 🥺

I’m about to relive my youth this summer! I just bought tickets to see Incubus and Hoobastank.

The last time I saw Incubus was at this same venue two decades ago (@ North Island Credit Union Amphitheater when it was formerly known as Coors Amphitheater, and has since been called Cricket Wireless Amphitheater, Sleep Train Amphitheater, and Mattress Firm Amphitheater)

The only difference between then and now is that I’ve got money to buy front row VIP tickets now 😜

The last time I saw Hoobastank was more recently at their 20th Anniversary Show (@ The Echo) But before that, it had been well over a decade!

Is it 2003? Am I 21 again? My first ever blog post in 2003 was about Hoobastank, and here I am, 22 years later, still talking about the same shit 😜

It once took me 4 hours to drive down to San Diego for Christine’s baby shower, and I arrived with less than an hour left to partake in the taco cart. After stuffing myself with 5 tacos (the 5th one was a mistake!), I was told that the taco guy was staying an extra hour, and I didn’t need to eat all those tacos in record time.

Today, it took me 3 hours to drive down to SD for Chel’s twins and Rhea’s daughter’s birthday party in PQ. I forgot people do things differently above the 8 😅 At the last kids’ party I went to in eastside, there was a birria taco bar, a tostilocos bar, and an open bar 😆

When I got to the party, Shi’s daughter was running down the street and this is how I tried to stop her:

Also, this is me when someone asks me to watch their kid:

Jury duty has been officially served (@ Inglewood Courthouse)

After four very long days of jury selection, they called up and dismissed over half of our 100+ group, and my number wasn’t called once. I had to listen to each potential juror answer the same questions from the judge and attorneys day in and day out, though 😵‍💫

They ask if you’ve been the victim of a violent crime, and a lot of people admitted to having been raped, molested or sexually abused 😳 The follow up question was always, ‘Would that incident affect your judgement in this case?’ and people always answered ‘no’ so why put your shit on blast at all?

There was a lady who said she was date raped in her 20s. The judge asked what happened afterward, if the perpetrator was convicted, etc. She said she was too embarrassed to tell anyone, so she never pressed charges. But you’re telling a bunch of strangers right now??? Long after the statute of limitations has passed? Don’t even get me started on the statute of limitations. I don’t understand why you can’t charge someone for rape after 10 years, but murder has no limit? Are both not serious crimes???

Actual footage of me in the gallery:

Anyway, not sure what I regret more: not getting the cute court bailiff’s number (he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, but I’m finding that lots of married men don’t) or eating four po’boys from Orleans & York this week! I was there so often, the cashier remembered my name and order 😅

Tell me the truth
Was it worth it? Was I worth it for you?
‘Cause we were perfect, we workin’ ’til you
Forgot to tell me
You been seein’ someone else for six years

Carnival across the street from the crib (@ Springfest)

Might have to put my bra back on for a churro.

If you thought I was gonna get a po’boy for the third day in a row while serving jury duty at the Inglewood courthouse, you weren’t wrong (@ Orleans & York)

We started half an hour late because one of the jurors picked yesterday was an attorney who had to prep a witness this morning in DTLA and was late to court. They ended up dismissing him and 8 other jurors, called 9 more people, and I still wasn’t picked. But I had to sit in the gallery for hours listening to the judge and lawyers ask them all the same questions from yesterday 😵‍💫 Then they dismissed 7 more jurors and picked 7 more, and I still wasn’t picked! After afternoon recess, they called out 20 more ID numbers (none of which were mine), and the rest of us thought we were getting dismissed. Turns out those 20 were free to go! Of the 7 new jurors they picked, I could tell some of them will be dismissed from their answers, so there will definitely be another round tomorrow which I have to report to for the fourth day now. I feel like I’m on an endless episode of Law & Order. Not even SVU, just the regular one without Ice-T 😆

Being here is actually more akin to a lesser known procedural drama, For The People (a Shonda Rhimes show whose cancellation in 2019 I’m still salty about), because the sassy court clerk has been keeping us entertained. She told us the story of when she broke her arm in Colombia that involved drug cartels, volcanoes, and a canoe. Worse, it happened during covid, so she had to wait a year to have surgery on her arm that was broken in eight places! Shoutout to the court clerk for Department ‘O’ at the Inglewood courthouse! Thank you for making this whole experience less painful for all of us 😆

My early 2000s heart is bursting 💗

Another day, another donut (@ Randy’s Donuts)

They started jury selection today, and 80+ jurors and I didn’t get picked. We did have to sit in the gallery for hours while the 18 selected for the jury box answered questions from the judge and attorneys. We have to report again tomorrow, because they haven’t decided on the final jury yet. At least there’s good food spots in Inglewood, and the court bailiff is nice to look at 😅

I gave up soda after the stroke. I used to drink my weight in Coke, but my blood glucose levels were through the roof. Everything in moderation, but as long as I don’t have Coke at all, I don’t crave it. I don’t even indulge in a Coke Zero once in a while.

So today, when I craved something sweet, I had an Olipop—a prebiotic soda that’s low in sugar and high in fiber. What has become of my life???

I’ve never had jury duty in LA where I had to show up in person, but today I got summoned to the Inglewood courthouse. They were short-staffed and running behind, so it was a lot of sitting around while they got their shit together. All 100+ of us got assigned to one courtroom where a man with tattoos on his face was being tried for murder 😳 We had to fill out a questionnaire before they dismissed us for the day, and we were told to return tomorrow for jury selection.

The silver lining of having jury duty in Inglewood (besides getting PTO from work) is that the courthouse is down the street from my favorite cajun deli, Orleans & York. I usually only go here when I go to a show nearby at Kia Forum or SoFi Stadium. I got a po’boy (Big Mo’s Favorite with fried shrimp and beef hot links) and banana pudding. I will probably go back here tomorrow after it’s decided whether or not a man’s fate rests in my hands 😅

I haven’t had an online portfolio since I got this job in LA 13 years ago! They pay me v well (I make more than triple what they were paying me in SD at my last job), so I’ve never looked for another job while working here, as stressful as it’s been at times.

With all the changes happening at work, I made a panic portfolio 😅 It’s better to have one and not need it, than to need one and not have it…

Doordashed corned beef hash for St. Paddy’s Day (@ Snax)

Am I doing it right?

(via @mini_robomuppets)

I got my eyebrows microbladed this past weekend, and I couldn’t be happier with the results! I’ve had this procedure done without a hitch a few times before the stroke, but when I made an appointment at a new esthetician in OC last year, they canceled my appointment after learning of my health problems. They had a bad experience before and didn’t wanna be liable. My PCP said it was still ok for me to get microbladed, so I found an esthetician nearby in Redondo who would do it. She was shocked that I didn’t bleed one drop of blood and even more shocked that I was in my 40s. She thought I was in my 20s! 🫠 To be fair, she was Brazilian (and gorgeous!), and it’s only ever non-asians who are shocked by my age. I still get carded at casinos, and you have to be 18 to be there. At my work conference earlier this year, this Mexican dude in his 30s met me and some of my Asian coworkers for the first time and his flabbers were gasted when he found out that we were all in our 40s. We’re Filipino, Chinese and Korean. What can I say, Asian don’t raisin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The porkless diaries continue…

Crispy feta, fried egg and avocado on a Carb Balance tortilla.

Pepperoni-less pizza with mushrooms and black olives for PI day (@ Fat Tomato)

Total lunar eclipse then full ‘worm moon’ tonight 🪱🌕✨

If your love for moon phases don’t run as deep as mine, here’s a cute short from Angry Birds about the love between a bird and its worm 🤪

I feel my lips, they’re turning blue
Are you great or something new?
I’m so love-starved
Are you actually my type or do I just need a bite?

File under: Shit we shouldn’t talk about in the work chat.

They’re installing Kandji on everyone’s computers at work. Supposedly it’s more secure (God forbid someone releases the new Snoop collabo early LOL), but I think they’re also monitoring us 👀 

Most of our employees use Teams (which we still use for department meetings), but the web team uses Slack on a daily basis because it’s easier for us to share screens and collaborate on that platform. Can they read Slack messages that have already been deleted? Asking for a friend (it’s me, I’m the friend). I sent some other unsavory messages during my work conference, so… 😅

Many, many, many moons ago, I sent the girls an email with the subject ‘NSFW’ containing this impressive dick pic some guy sent me that I most definitely did not ask for. A couple of them opened the email at work, because they didn’t know that ‘NSFW’ stood for ‘Not Safe For Work’ LOL! Oh, they learned that day…

Yes, I still have my emails from 2009, and yes, I still have that dick pic 😆 Only because I attached it to that email, though. I didn’t have an iPhone in 2009, and the actual text exists on an LG flip phone (only an outdated phone charger can unlock those secrets).

My porkless life continues (in more ways than one 😅)…

I had plant-based Spam, rice and eggs for breakfast. What has become of my life???

My sweet nephew is being bullied at school. We ride at dawn ✊🏻

Since playing with the micro piglets at the mipig cafe in Tokyo, I can’t bring myself to eat pork 😩 So today, instead of my usual go-to breakfast burrito (made healthier by heating up a Smart Ones Ham & Cheese Scramble, adding hot sauce, and wrapping it inside a Carb Balance Tortilla) I made sweet potato avocado toast with soft boiled eggs and a side of turkey bacon.

Not sure if I’m sad because of my breakfast, or because I’m back at work today catching up on my emails and slack and just found out that my boss is being required to go into the office every day after five years of working from home and wondering if I’m next, or because it’s raining in LA today and I’m listening to Dashboard Confessional 😅

It’s colder than it oughta be in March

In case I forgot I was back in LA this weekend, we had several earthquakes and a notification of a wildfire today, and it’s also Daylight Savings, so I woke up at 5pm instead of 4pm, because my body’s still on Tokyo Time. I’m sick, too, so I’ll recap when I’m feeling better 🤒

✅ Passport renewed
✅ PTO approved
✅ March rent paid
✅ Flights & hotels booked
✅ Private yacht chartered
✅ Micro Pig House Harajuku reservation made
✅ Warner Bros. Tokyo Harry Potter Studio tickets purchased

Airplane Essentials:

• Weekender Bag
• Macbook Pro
• Powerbeats Pro Totally Wireless Earbuds
• Electronics Organizer Travel Case
• Portable Charger
• Snacks: Blueberry Vanilla Cashew KIND Bars, Mexican Street Corn Trail Mix – I threw up once after eating the airplane meal on a red-eye to New York. Not sure if it was because of the plane food, the cocktail I also had on the plane, the late meal, or the fact that I ate dinner at the airport before the plane meal… I just bring my own snacks now 😅
• Pill Organizer – your girl stays medicated 😆
• Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask
• Neutrogena Hydro Boost Face Cleansing Wipes
• Wet Ones Antibacterial Hand Wipes
• Alaska Bear Silk Sleep Mask

I don’t even ‘rawdog‘ a 45-minute flight to Vegas, I def need all of the things on a 15-hour flight to the Philippines & Japan 😵‍💫

The first and last time I went to the Philippines was in 2020, right before the pandemic hit. We were still working in the office during that time, so when I came back, HR told me to work from home and quarantine for 2 weeks. Our lives took a 180 during those 2 weeks, and I’ve been working from home ever since! I told my boss and project managers that I’ll be mostly unreachable while on vacay for the next couple of weeks, but contact me if there’s any work chismé 😆

I leave tomorrow morning, and I still have to do my laundry, pack, and shave my legs 😅

Update: I just picked up my laundry from Suds & Duds and decided to stop by Target on the way home to pick up a box of Cap’n Crunch to top the Pinkberry I got for dinner (I’m officially on vacation,  get off me) when this asshole in a white SUV cut me off on Manhattan Beach Blvd. I threw my hands up and kept honking my horn, and the driver got scared and pulled over so I could get in front of them. When I got to Target, I took a few breaths, willed my blood pressure to go back down to a normal range, looked at myself in the rearview and was like, ‘You need to calm the fuck down.’ 😅

Nori and I went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch, and this child was screaming bloody murder inside. Straight up screaming and his mom was gentle parenting the shit out of him.

We were like… What the???

Anyway, when we got our food, there was a free cookie on our trays. Not sure if they were apology cookies for having to listen to that devil child, or if the server thought we were cute 🤪

One of my project managers emailed me that the art was approved for one of my jobs, except he must’ve been in a rush because he said that my fart was approved instead, and now I have cold brew all over my monitor 🤣

My boss, Gaye, has been in in-office meetings all day, so she left me in charge and I’m Gaye today 😆 I haven’t even taken a proper lunch, because people have been asking me questions all day, and I’m trying to get all my presentations done before I go on vacation.

I got this e-mail that there’s a listeria outbreak amongst donuts after eating an embarrassing amount of donuts last week (it was Valentine’s Day, get off me), a notification that my monthly rent is going up by $125, and a jury duty summons in the mail for fucking Inglewood 😅 What next?!

At the last two Harry Potter Padres giveaway days, each house had their own item, so Pammie had to fight trade people to get all four houses 😅

It looks like there’s only one hat this time, but a flag pin for each house. I’ll just be at Hodad’s eating a single bacon cheeseburger while Pammie sorts that out.

Can’t a girl just get a Brazilian and keep high heels in her trunk for reasons other than she’s fucking someone??? 😅

Watching Babygirl and eating my feelings, HBU?

Nori and I go to Randy’s Donuts at least once a week (after eating salads at Tender Greens—Get off us). Their donuts are always fresh, so the donuts we got were still warm. I got chocolate on my hands and Nori was like, ‘Chocolate or poop?’ There’s this scene in Baby Mama (that I reference to my sister at every opportunity I can) where Maura Tirney asks her kid if what he has on his hands is chocolate or poop, and she licks it and confirms it’s chocolate 😆 I can’t believe Nori knew that reference. Who needs a man when you have friends who get you???

Christine doordashed me a breakfast burrito this morning. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is…

Update: I had to delete my message in my work slack saying I was going to watch Babygirl tonight, because I knew it was raunchy, but had no idea it was that raunchy, and my team doesn’t know me like that 😅 The whole time I was watching Nicole Kidman loudly having sex, all I could think was, ‘Can Gloria hear this shit?!’ 😳 She’s this old black lady who has lived next door to me since I moved in 13 years ago.  Save your money, guys. I have this movie illegally downloaded on my laptop if you really wanna see it. Or you can just watch free porn online 😆

• Valentine’s Day Gift Bags
• The Bruery “Goses are Red” Beer
• Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
• Sugarfina Pucker Up Sugar Lips
• Airheads Valentine’s Mini Bars
• Dove Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Hearts
• Reese’s Valentine’s Day Peanut Butter Hearts
• Dove Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
• Twix Valentine’s Minis
• Kit Kat Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate Wafers
• Snickers Valentine’s Minis
• Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramels
• M&M’s Valentine’s Milk Chocolate
• Welch’s Valentines Day Exchange Fruit Snacks
• Sour Punch Valentine’s Cupid Straws
• Haribo Valentine’s Goldbears Gummi Candy
• Sour Patch Kids Valentine’s Hearts Theater Box
• Jolly Rancher Valentine’s Day Jelly Hearts
• Starburst FaveReds Conversation Hearts
• Skittles Valentine’s Exchange Kit
• Blow Pops Valentine’s Day Classroom Exchange Bubble Gum Pops
• Bath & Body Works 4EVER SWEET PocketBac Hand Sanitizer

When I went to Sugarfina for some Sugar Lips candy, the cashier remembered me from when I bought a bunch of Mistletoe Kisses for my Christmas gift bags. ‘You’re so sweet and generous!’ she said. Duh 💁🏻‍♀️ Giving is my love language, lady 💕

Three of my dear friends have been diagnosed with breast cancer just in the past five years. Jessie and Christine luckily didn’t have to do chemo (they were able to kick cancer’s ass with surgery and radiation), so this is uncharted territory for us all.

Alicia was recently diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer after a routine mammogram, and she starts chemotherapy soon. She sent me flowers when I was in the hospital after the stroke, and it totally brightened my day, so I sent her flowers from all the girls we went to Joshua Tree with. She said she felt so loved when she received them 🥰

I want to make her as comfortable as she can be during this difficult time, so I got her a few things:

• UpNature Peppermint Essential Oil Roll On – Nausea is one of the most well-known chemotherapy side effects, and hopefully this peppermint roll on can quell some of it.
• Anti-Nausea Acupressure Wrist Bands – My sister gets seriously sea sick whenever she rides a boat (Caborette Booze Cruise 2015, anyone?), and no amount of ginger pills, essential oils, wrist bands or prayers could keep her from getting sick, but hopefully these work on Alicia 😅
• Simply Mints – Mints are supposed to help with nausea, too. They had ginger mints also, but when Alicia and I worked at AAA (we started the same day and first met on the elevator!), this lady, Betsy, would always offer Alicia ginger candy, and she hated it! We knew we’d be best friends when we realized we hated a lot of the same things 😆
• Cold Therapy Socks & Hand Ice Pack Cold Gloves – Chemo can cause neuropathy in your appendages, and this is supposed to help with that.
• Hydro Flask – it’s important to stay hydrated, and it’s much easier to do when your drinks stay ice cold for hours.
• Lotus and Luna Master Healer Chakra Healing Layered Bracelet – because I’m a believer of this woo-woo bullshit 🤪 plus it’s pretty!
• Pill Organizer – I take medication 4x a day, and sometimes I forget (despite the 4 alarms that go off on my phone every day). It’s just easier to remember when you have a pill organizer.
• Big Blanket Co. Premier Plush Hoodie – A common chemo side effect is feeling cold (and she is already one of those people who’s always cold!). I already got her a sherpa wearable throw and fleece-lined socks last Christmas, but she could use more cozy warmth.
• Cactus Blossom Candle – I’m the ultimate consumer. Half the things I own, I saw an ad for on instagram, and this candle is no exception.

I’ve been at a work conference this whole week (@ westdrift Manhattan Beach, Autograph Collection)

Since we work remotely, and it’s our team’s first year switching to the Digital department from Advertising, most of us haven’t met in person since it was our first time attending this Digital Summit, and none of us use our real photo on Slack 😆

Most of my coworkers stayed at the hotel, because even though they live in LA, they still live over an hour away, and our days started @ 8:30am and last night, we didn’t get back to the hotel till after 10pm! The hotel is only 8 minutes away from my apartment, so I drove each day. Except the first night, I had too much to drink at dinner and took a $10 uber home 😅

Nothing says LA like a Taco Bell Cantina and an injury lawyer billboard on Hollywood Blvd.

We took a ‘City of Lights’ bus tour of LA, even though most of us live here. We went to LACMA, the La Brea Tar Pits, Urban Lights, Hollywood Stars, Sunset Blvd. and the Promenade.

It’s been raining all week. Sucks for everyone who came to town hoping to escape the cold 🥶 LA really needed the rain after those devastating fires, though. During the tour, our guide got an evacuation alert for mudslides near his house 😅

Dinner & drinks (@ 1212 Santa Monica)

The presentations were pretty dry, but the creative team stayed entertained in the back sending inappropriate messages 😆

I love working remotely, but I miss these clowns already 🥲

Wellness weekend in Joshua Tree 🌵✨

It was Shi’s birthday weekend and she wanted to do a sound bath at The Integratron. Chel and I have done it before, but it was Shi, Pammie and Alicia’s first time.

Shi loves Friends, so we got her a bag of crap for her birthday!

It was filled with Friends Bum Bumz! Something I knew Shi would love, but she’d never buy for herself.

This was the perfect place for Shi, because no one loves space like she does (as evident by the picture of her aboard the Starship Enterprise inside her closet in her old bedroom at her parents’ house) 🖖🏼

The Integratron is built on a vortex and is supposed to be a point of concentrated spiritual energy, so of course I had to buy some crystals and palo santo from the gift shop.

While waiting to have dinner at Pappy & Harriet’s, we explored Pioneertown.

We stumbled upon The Rusty Nickel, where you can find ‘Art, Rust, Souvenirs & Dust – Free dust with every purchase!’ It was a weird little shop with oddities. When I was paying for my horror stickers, the lady ringing me up was like, ‘Has anyone ever told you that you sound like Jennifer Tilly?’ The stroke altered my voice, so I’m really self-conscious about speaking aloud. I’ve been told I sound like Marge from The Simpsons, but never Jennifer Tilly! Chel was like, ‘Who’s Jennifer Tilly?’ Uhh, The Bride of Chucky? AKA the highest of compliments LOL.

Without betraying our safe space, I will say lots of tears were shed and we all needed this wellness weekend. It’s easy for me to say what I want to say on this blog, because I know only like one person reads it (Hi, Shi LOL). But I have a hard time talking about my feelings or crying in front of other people. Chel is my cousin, so she’s seen me cry at family funerals at least, Pammie is my sister, so she’s seen me cry and made me cry since I was a baby LOL, Shi is my heart twin and has seen me at my absolute worst, so we’ve both seen each other ugly cry, Alicia thinks I’m perfect and has never seen me cry before this weekend or even heard me fart LOL. If only she knew what a gassy mess I really am.

I think I always thought of crying as a weakness, because my mom is so strong. Whenever she’s been hospitalized, she didn’t even tell her siblings because she didn’t want them to see her like that. She broke her wrist last month, and just casually mentioned it to me and my sister a week after it happened like it was no bigs.

You never know what someone is going through or what they’re struggling with. This weekend taught me that it’s okay to be vulnerable around the people you love…

(via @kelseydianeblog)

It’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me

On my way to my nail appointment today, I was listening to my ‘Liked Songs’ playlist on Spotify of just random songs I’ve liked over the years. This cover of Labrinth’s Jealous sung by the Vanderbilt Melodores came up, and I don’t know if it was because it was raining, or because of the dulcet tones of the all-male a cappella group led by a Korean dude, or because I got my 12-year work anniversary certificate in the mail + a voucher for a free pair of shoes today LOL, but Jesus, I got emotional 😭

Sooo a sheer dress like the one Kanye’s wife wore to the Grammy’s is inappropriate? 😅

The new Ministry of Magic inside The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens at Universal Orlando this year, but I hate Trump more than I love Disney or Universal Studios (I barely even go to the ones we have in SoCal), so you won’t find me in Florida or any other red state in the foreseeable future.

(via @emp.press)

Can’t believe we have four more years of this bullshit 🙄

(via @theinstitutecorona)

(via @themusicverse_)

(via @zeroflexnz)

(via @littlemanyu_)

I saw this news blooper years ago and these anchors are now married 🤗

(via @ebwinter)

Few things bring me more joy than reels of people getting hurt that people add music to, dogs getting pampered, news bloopers, and CVS receipts 😆

I used to use the Swarm app, where you would check in to the places you’d go. I used it partly for posterity’s sake (it would tell you the last time you were there), but mostly because I was the mayor of Crab Hut for years 😆

While I was using the app many years ago, this guy I used to mess with hit me up after he saw I checked into European Wax Center. I no longer use the Swarm app, go to Crab Hut, or fuck with fuckboys from Hollywood, but do I need to put a Brazilian on the books? At my age? 👵🏻😅

Used to know you well, now I’m chasing a ghost
Dancing with your skeleton’s rattling bones

Obsessed.

Heard this song on KROQ and it’s been on repeat ever since. They remind me of Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes and Tame Impala. I really want to see them live, but they have a show in LA when I’ll be on vacation. I’ll only be gone for 2 weeks, but I’m gonna miss Innings Festival, Balu Brigada at The Echo, Phantogram at the Hollywood Palladium, Andy Grammer at The Magnolia, and Deftones at Kia Forum 😭

I’ve just discovered Moo Deng’s live feed, so I’ll just be here the rest of my life.

Chinese food for Lunar New Year (@ Northern Cafe)

Are we doing it right???

Also, my lesbian aunt sent me this memoji video, and it’s the best thing I’ve seen all year 😆

It’s getting harder and harder to get together with the girls with 4 kids between us (none of which are my own 😅), work trips (Pammie just came back from SF, Christine is going to Belgium in a couple weeks, and Pammie has to go to Scottsdale and the Philippines next month), vacations (Jessie’s going to Hawaii next week and Pammie and I are going to Japan next month), and California being literally on fire. We’ve had dinner at Fort Oak on the books for a while, but my car has had this thing dragging under it since earlier this week, and I thought I should get it checked out before driving back to LA in the rain last night. So we had pizza at Jessie’s instead, while Abe and his head lamp fixed my car LOL, and we played with Baby Isaac and loved on her pups, Koda and Milo. I left with my tummy full, my car fixed, my heart full, and absolutely covered in dog fur.

We were talking about a friend who drinks to the point that they black out, and I’m like, ‘I’ve never drank so much that I blacked out,’ to which Jessie and Christine listed all the times I got black out drunk in my 20s 😅 Does it count if it happened over 20 years ago??? Apparently it does, and I could never play ‘Never Have I Ever’ with these B’s 😆 Are you even really friends if you don’t call each other out on your shit???

Since we were celebrating Pammie’s December birthday and Christine and my January birthdays, Jessie got us pizookies from BJ’s! 🍪

Jessie: Did you know you can get it raw at BJ’s?
Everyone: 😳😳😳

If it wasn’t clear, I’m Team Justin (Baldoni, Timberlake, Bieber LOL).

I first saw him when I came across this post from Jane the Virgin‘s final table read, and I was like, ‘Who is this guy?!’ I binge-watched all five seasons and have watched everything Justin Baldoni has been in or directed since.

I’ve gotten bad vibes from Blake Lively since before Gossip Girl, when she was in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (20 years ago!). Plus, how trustworthy can a person be who chooses Taylor Swift as the godmother to her children??? Like, have you not one closer friend? 😆

(via @solomongiorgio)

(via @_miss.serendipitous)

I switched my CVS Pharmacy from SD to LA to get all my prescriptions up here. The CVS closest to me is up the street inside a Target, and the line forms down the aisle that sells condoms and male incontinence diapers. Like, there isn’t a more uncomfortable aisle to wait for my antidepressants in 😅

I’d switch to another CVS, but I had a bad experience at the other one closest to me. Many, many, many years ago (in my wild youth), I was buying some Plan B. You have to get it at the pharmacy, but it’s over-the-counter, so they send you to the front to ring you up. While I’m up there, the guy gets on the intercom and was like, ‘Price check on Plan B? Price check on Plan B?’ I looked at him like, ‘Are you fucking serious right now? Is this a dream?’

Jessie was checking if I meant to follow Trump and Vance. I realized I was still following @potus and @vp from Biden and Kamala’s administration literally 3 days ago. You guys, I’m hardly on social media. So much so, that I tried to do the Top 9 once, and I couldn’t because I didn’t even have 9 posts that year 😅 Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to realize I was following those idiots.

Please check your social media accounts! And if you meant to follow these fools, why are we friends???

Dennis gave me these countdown blocks for my birthday, partly because he and my sister have this Harry Potter Block Calendar at their house and to remind me of them at home, but mostly because I didn’t wear pants a lot when I was staying with them for a year after the stroke 😅

I once accidentally ordered the ‘narrow calf’ version of these boots, and when I got them, they were super snug, so I wore them around the house to stretch out the leather. My sister’s husband walked in on me washing dishes in the kitchen only wearing these boots, a bathing suit bottom and a baby tee 😆 He was like, ‘What’s happening right now? Why do you look like Woody from Toy Story?’ 🤠

I think the last time I saw Deane was on a zoom happy hour during covid!

I had the stroke after that, and she was a digital nomad living out of the country last year when I came back to LA. Now she’s back in LA, too, and living in Koreatown. We both have January birthdays, so we celebrated with Nori at Soowon Galbi, followed by dessert at Sul & Beans near her new place in K-Town.

Who wore it better??? We used to work together, and we bonded over work trauma, our love of live music, good food and no dietary restrictions 😆

We used to go to Ocean Diner in Hermosa Beach for lunch all the time, but we started noticing people would get fired after we ate there. It happened three different times! So we haven’t eaten there in years 😅

One time, we were at the Hollywood Bowl, and she leaned over and was like, ‘Can we go eat after this?’ 😆

We would leave shows early all the time to go eat (@ Bootleg Theater)

Our favorite place ever was Ramekin in Los Feliz. It has since closed down, but our friendship has outlasted all the restos and music venues that have closed since I met her. She’s the coolest girl I know in LA ✌🏼

This B-sian doesn’t have Monday off for MLK 😅

I had a v productive day today.

I spent my morning in urgent care to make sure my wound wasn’t serious and my leg isn’t going to fall off. I spent $50 and an hour in a waiting room full of sick, crying children (my worst nightmare!) for the doctor to tell me that my leg is healing properly. She also prescribed me some preventative antibiotics. I e-mailed my boss earlier to let her know I’d be out today and attached a picture of my bloody leg. She was like, ‘Why are our legs the same color? Work-from-home white!’ Way to kick me when I’m down 😂

Afterwards, I had lunch with Nori at Northern Cafe. We were supposed to go to Mendocino Cafe, but I missed a turn 🤪

Clearwater at South Bay is accepting donations to help those in need during the LA fires, and Torrance is much closer to me than where I was originally gonna drop off at the Y in Koreatown, so I dropped off my goods there. They were amazed at all the dog and cat food I gave. I felt like Cher in Clueless 😆

I’m also a monthly donor to the ASPCA. The animals need me!

On my way back home, I saw this guy in my rearview driving behind me smiling taking a picture of the back of my car. These bumper stickers make me laugh, and I love when they put a smile on other people’s faces 😊

I thought it was a made up # on the ‘How’s My Crying?’ bumper sticker, but I googled it and it’s the White House’s #. How apropos 😅

To everyone who has checked on me since the fires started in LA, you the real MVPs 🥹

To everyone else…

Respectfully, of course.

Live music and vino??? Yes, please.

But also…

*knees crack like a glowstick*

Get you a work bestie who makes you shrimp ceviche, gives you grain-free tortilla chips because she cares about your health, chops up celery because she knows you hate cutting vegetables or doing any meal prep, and makes you get hydrogen peroxide on your lunch break so you can properly clean your wounds 😆

My phone died last night after my sister and friends went back to San Diego, and I fell asleep at 8pm 👵🏻 Pammie can’t track me or get my blood sugar readings when my phone’s dead, so she thought I was dead when she couldn’t get any readings. To be fair, I lost a lot of blood after I fell at the beach LOL. She was about to call Nori to do a wellness check! 😅 Nori was the one who took me to the hospital after I had my stroke, and my sister is happy I have someone looking after me in LA. I’m lucky to have such a good friend ✨

Shi couldn’t celebrate my birthday with me this year, so she doordashed me some breakfast from King’s Hawaiian 😋🤙🏼

I like to spend my birthday surrounded by wieners, HBU? (@ Puppies & Yoga)

I live at least an hour south of any of the fires burning in LA right now. You can’t see the smoke from here, but you can smell it in the air, and my car’s covered in ash. We didn’t see any smoke on the way up to West Hollywood for puppy yoga, but we did see this injury lawyer billboard 😆

We ate at Food Network’s Brooke Williamson’s beachside restaurant, Playa Provisions. Proceeds from their fish tacos went to wildfire relief, so of course that’s what I ordered. It was delicious!

Pop-prosecco? Yes, please.

I hardly ever go to the beach, even though I live literally 2 miles from the ocean on Manhattan Beach Boulevard. Donna & David happened to be in town for a wedding this weekend, and as San Diegans who moved to the east coast after high school, they like to go to the beach whenever they’re back in California.

‘Go to the beach,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.

Pardon my ashy white legs LOL, I had a little accident and slipped on some rocks 😅

Fun Fact: I’ve always wanted to be Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice for Halloween.

I instacarted some non-perishables and necessities for families and pets who have been displaced due to the fires. The YMCA in Koreatown is accepting donation drop-offs.

Pammie collected money from the girls and got me an awesome Moo Deng shirt that I wore to puppy yoga, and had leftover money, so I said to just donate it to one of these major organizations accepting monetary donations for the wildfires: LAFD, American Red Cross, Direct Relief, World Central Kitchen, or the Salvation Army. They need it more than I do. Please give what you can 🥺

I hate it here ✌🏼

Update: Just me and my ex-boyfriend planning our demise. Catch you on the flippity flip 👋🏼

I was going to spend my birthday eating my way through Smorgasburg LA, but it’s been canceled 🥺

If my puppy yoga class is also canceled in West Hollywood this Sunday, I will riot 😅

JK, I hope everyone continues to be safe 💔

Cody Fry – Symphony

I used to hear a simple song
That was until you came along
You took my broken melody
And now I hear a symphony

I was going to kick off my birthday weekend by crying downtown tonight (what else is new?), but the concert I was supposed to attend has been postponed due to the state of emergency in LA 🥺

I just got a Teams invite for a 1-on-1 performance review meeting with my new VP next week. Guys, I haven’t had a performance review in over 10 years. In the advertising department, they would just give us annual raises and bonuses without telling us. When I was on medical leave for 6 months after my stroke, I just happened to be looking at my bank account and I’m like, ‘Where did all this money come from?’ and it turns out I got a raise and a bonus and I didn’t even know. I just recently looked at my profile on Workday, and saw that my salary is way more than I thought it was, so I thought maybe I already got my raise? But doesn’t that usually happen after your performance review in the regular corporate world? I only met the VP once at a departmental meeting last year, so I’m nervous.

Also, a few of my coworkers are out because of the fires, and I just ate a Factor meal for dinner, but I doordashed some Pinkberry because I’m stress-eating.

Uhh, should I put some pants on? 😅

Update: False alarm. Get it together!

Now I really feel like an asshole 😅

Jeffrey’s dad was evacuated from Altadena (north of Pasadena) early in the morning yesterday. Luckily, he’s okay, but I can’t say the same about his neighborhood.

LA is huge and the most populous county in the United States (nearly 10 million people—its population is greater than that of 40 individual U.S. states!). I’m very far from any of the fires ripping through LA right now, so I’m okay. This is like when my mom asks me to bring home a dozen potato balls from Porto’s when I visit SD. She thinks that since I live in LA, I’m close to everything in LA. It takes me an hour to get to the closest Porto’s after work on a Friday night! She’s lucky I love potato balls her.

Stay safe, LA…

Actual footage of me driving through this ‘life-threatening’ wind storm in LA today:

Update: OK now I feel like an asshole because this wind storm is causing devastating fires across LA 😅 It’s a good thing Steve Guttenberg was in all those Police Academy movies 😆

Update: Thanks to everyone for checking on me… even just to make sure that I’m not secretly fucking someone in the Palisades 😅 You have a secret lover for five years once and no one ever lets you forget it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My old ass didn’t make it to midnight on NYE, so I didn’t see this until today. I immediately sent it to my friend and was like, ‘What in the default font is this bullshit?’

Earlier today, I just told one of our web designers to change the font they used on an email they designed, because it looked like a default font like Myriad. You never choose that font on purpose, it’s like it defaulted to Myriad because they didn’t have the font it was supposed to be instead.

I was catching up on my DMs, and saw that another friend of mine sent me this same video because they know I’m a typography nerd 🤓

I was once at the (now closed) Museum of Broken Relationships in Hollywood, and this exhibit really resonated with me.

After a relationship ends, even the most mundane objects can become painful reminders. At the Museum of Broken Relationships, everyday stuff was submitted anonymously and exhibited as art along with each object’s story of betrayal or loss. The result was a moving collection of heartbreak.

This guy met a girl in a graphic design class, and she used a ridiculous font, Davida, for her first project. He started seeing this same ridiculous font used everywhere from El Torito, to Café Du Monde packaging to a barbershop in Santa Monica. He couldn’t escape it. It became a game in their relationship, and they started collecting items they found using Davida font. They’ve since broken up, but he still sees Davida everywhere and knows all the streets he could drive down (or avoid) in LA to see signs using Davida font. He still thinks about that girl and what could’ve been.

It’s been nearly a decade, and I still think about this exhibit 💔

People at work kept messaging me ‘Happy Birthday’ today, because they have the date wrong on a department flyer that went out on Teams. It is not my birthday, but it is my 12-year work anniversary today 😵‍💫 Whoever made this flyer mixed up the dates. See the shit I’ve been dealing with for the past 12 years? 😆

During the pandemic, I got the squirrels in my parents’ backyard a little picnic table and set up a video camera so we could watch them eat the unsalted nuts we’d leave out for them. Aside from Tiger King, it was my quarantainment 😆

I got my dad a Birdbuddy (a smart bird feeder with a camera and solar roof) and a bag of bird seed for Christmas, and we set it up yesterday. We got our first visitor today 🥰

My sister’s husband heard me losing my shit over the bird videos, and he was like, ‘Please get a dog already!’ I applied to adopt this pup last week at The Labelle Foundation (a rescue in LA). His post has over 5,000 likes, so I was probably one of hundreds of applicants. I haven’t heard anything back 😔

My boss, Gaye, is on vacation, so I’m Gaye this week 😆 She always puts me in charge when she’s out because I’m the most senior designer after her.

One of our project managers had to ask the retouchers to do a small edit. Their director e-mails us back, and CC’s our boss, saying we need to include the original file in future requests. First of all, we had to do some digging for the original file, because the designer is also out today on bereavement leave. Second of all, give the project manager a little grace, it was her first time e-mailing you, and you didn’t need to CC her boss. Third of all, how dare you? 😆

Another time, the requestors were openly talking shit about one of our designers, and even though I agreed she was a horrible designer LOL (who no longer works here), it was like when someone talks shit about your family, like I’m allowed to, but you’re not! I will go mama bear on your ass. I ain’t the one 😆

Shi wants to spend her birthday sound bathing at the Integratron, so we’re gonna spend a wellness weekend in Joshua Tree next month. I haven’t been to this place in nearly 8 years, and I can’t wait to go back ✨

It’s Filipino tradition to consume 13 round fruits on New Year’s for prosperity.

Christine also told me that it’s Filipino superstition that if I go to bed with my hair still wet from taking a shower, I’ll go blind LMAO, so IDK what to believe 🤣

I made some P.F. Chang’s copycat chicken lettuce wraps in case this party wasn’t Asian enough.

At our last holiday party, my 18-year-old cousin’s boyfriend was excited to see what desserts I made. He told my cousin, ‘She’s the one who made the cinnamon rolls at the last party!’ and she was like, ‘How do you even know that?!’ I’m hoping to start another fight with these Golden Grahams s’mores bars 😆

One of my earliest memories is of my grandma making mochi on NYE. It’s an Asian tradition that’s supposed to bring good luck for the year to come. I made some this year in her memory ♥️

I found out that the party I’m going to tonight doesn’t start till 8pm! Last year, I celebrated NYE east coast time and was in bed by 9:30pm.

Actual footage of me, my sister and her husband @ 9pm PST:

(via @ilovebobah)

I remember one NYE, I was throwing up well after midnight into the morning at my friend’s house after drinking too much whiskey and I thought I was gonna die. I used to be fun 😅

Happy New Year from this old broad 👵🏻

KBBQ, cackles, Cheetahs and crack for Pammie’s birthday 😆 (@ SOT Korean BBQ)

(via @missoneil)

My family understood the assignment 🎁

My family always asks me to make an invitation whenever we have a party. Have you guys ever heard of that free service called Evite? 😆

Spoiler alert: I’m the fun aunt.

The loudest, most intense game of LCR I’ve ever played. If your family doesn’t gamble at holiday parties, are you even Asian???

$60 and several loud environment sound alerts later, that’s a wrap on Christmas ✌🏻

When I do go to church (CEO status – Christmas and Easter only), I go with my family to Bonita Valley Community Church. It’s a lot more entertaining and livelier than the catholic churches I went to as a kid. I’ve seen a rotation of singers throughout the years, but there’s an older man who’s been there since we started going. He has a beautiful voice and plays the guitar also. I noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, and I leaned over to my sister and was like, ‘He’s not married. Do you think he’s gay?’ Then I was like, ‘Is that what people wonder about me when they find out I’m in my 40s and not married???’ And Pammie was like, ‘I don’t think anyone has ever mistaken you as gay.’

Anyway, Merry Christmas from this strictly dickly old broad 👵🏻

• TOPS Malibu New Year Wish Sparkler
• Lost Farm Cherry Lime Chews
• Sugarfina Mistletoe Kisses
• Chuao Chocolatier Snuggle Up S’mores Mini Bars
• See’s Candies Scotchmallow Trees
• Christmas Hot Chocolate Drink Bombs
• Reese’s Christmas Chocolate Peanut Butter Trees
• Christmas Rudolph Trail Mix
• Kit Kat Christmas Milk Chocolate Wafer Candy Miniatures
• Hershey’s Kisses Christmas Milk Chocolate
• Christmas Milk Chocolate Stocking Stuffer
• Hershey’s Kisses Christmas Grinch Milk Chocolate
• Skittles Littles Stocking Stuffer
• Pelon Pelo Rico

Nothing humbles you more than a 2000s themed 21st birthday party where everyone was born after you graduated high school. Pammie wore her *NSYNC shirt, and I was gonna wear my old New Found Glory or Hoobastank shirt from the early 2000s, but thought I’d further date myself with this Oregon Trail shirt.

It took me a while to get my life together in LA. I had to make sure I had everything I needed before Christmas because I’m planning on staying in SD till New Year’s. By the time I started heading down, it took me 4 hours to drive down to SD. I was too tired to go to the party, so I just doordashed some Taco Bell and fell asleep with half a chalupa next to my face 😆

Pammie said a lot of the guests were wearing Juicy Couture tracksuits, something I never wore, not even in the 2000s.  It did remind of a funny story when someone I knew wore Juicy Couture track pants out, and didn’t realize she had them on backwards, so the big ass ‘JUICY’ was emblazoned across her vageen instead of her butt 🤣

On Late Night with Conan O’Brien, he used to have a segment called ‘In the year 2000‘ where he and his guests would make predictions for the future (i.e. they predict that in the year 2000, the Chicago Cubs and Boston Red Sox will meet at the World Series… up in the bleachers where they’ll have a great view of the Yankees and Braves LOL). He continued to do this bit after the year 2000, and this was peak Conan.

My work bestie’s mom is Mexican, and they taught me how to make tamales for the holidays 🥰

Her dog was wearing an Ohtani Dodgers jersey. I’ll allow it, partly because her dad is Japanese, but mostly because Kona gave me all the cuddles.

Thank you, Ohtomos! I had such a great time.

We get it—you’re rich. The spoiled kids that go to the high school I drive by every day in Manhattan Beach have better cars than me: Teslas, Mercedes, BMWs, Audis. When I was 16, I drove a third generation Toyota Camry on its last legs. My sister drove it before me, and my mom before her. My parents had money, but were big believers in you earn what you get. My dad made me get a job when I was 15, and I’ve been working ever since. I can afford to get a nice ass car now, but I’d rather spend my money elsewhere, like vacations and flying first class ✈️ So I’ll just keep driving around in my 10-year-old Mazda hatchback until I’m forced to get a new car.

Whenever I see a light gray car, I’m like, ‘Ugh, I hate that color.’ One of my ex’s would rather work on cars than spend time with me, and the color reminds me of primer and it’s triggering 😅 I really don’t care what kind of car you drive. I’d prefer you drove a stock, unassuming car that no one pays attention to. If I ever got hit by a car, I’d probably just be able to tell you what color it was and that’s it. I wouldn’t be able to provide you with the make or the model, because it’s not something I care about. I’d make a horrible eye witness 🤪

When your sister’s birthday is the week before Christmas and she’s a Potterhead ⚡

Remember that show Are You Afraid of the Dark? on Nickelodeon in the 90s? My sister and I would always reference this one episode and say, ‘I’m cold’ just like this dead kid from the show. I was hanging out with Alicia maybe 10 or more years ago, and she said, ‘I’m cold’ just like the dead kid and my eyes got big like saucers. ‘Is that from Are You Afraid of the Dark?!’ I’d never met anyone before that got my reference. It was in that moment that I knew we’d be best friends for life LOL.

Anyway, last full moon of the year tonight and it’s called ‘Cold Moon’ 🥶

Are you even friends if you don’t coordinate your outfits??? 😜

(@ LA Kings Holiday Ice at L.A. LIVE)

Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just throw some fairy lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?

You know you live in LA when free parking is a gift 🎁

Baby boy had his first chicken adobo last night, and I wanted to be just like him, so I made some for dinner, except I ate it with hella rice (it’s raining today and I’m carboloading to keep warm—is that how it works?).

You’ll be the saddest part of me
A part of me that will never be mine
It’s obvious
Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

I do a lot of things by myself and it usually doesn’t bother me—I live alone, go grocery shopping alone, go to John Mayer concerts alone LOL.

I flew by myself once on Valentine’s Day, and when I was already seated, the flight attendant was like, ‘Are you flying alone?’ I was like, ‘Uh, yes’ and he was like, ‘Do you mind sitting over here so this couple can sit together?’ I’m like, ‘First of all, yes, I mind, and second of all, it’s a fucking 45-minute flight. I think they can manage sitting apart from each other for an hour.’ JK, I totally moved, but only because I was in a middle seat and I was promised a window seat 😆

Over the weekend, I had dinner with my sister and her husband + the bestie’s family for her daughter’s 21st birthday. There was 9 of us total, so 8 of them got the chef’s special (soup, a shared appetizer and an entree). You can only order the chef’s special in pairs, and I was the odd man out as usual, so I just ordered off the regular menu.

Last night, I had a pair of tickets to finally see Chino at The Observatory North Park, but I couldn’t find anyone who wanted to go with me. Usually I’d rally and go by myself, but it was a Sunday night, and I had to drive back up to LA after. I work from home, so I could’ve stayed in SD, but I like working in my underwear being in my own space.

I remember when Shi’s husband was talking to my sister’s husband at a party, taking in the craziness around him,  and he was like, ‘I wished I met Shi sooner. So I could have had all this with her longer.’ When we told Shi what he had said, she was like, ‘He could’ve had all this sooner!’ 🤣 She liked him for years before he asked her out. Years, y’all. He just wasn’t ready yet.

Anyway, my life is not a movie, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that it may not be in the cards for me. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who treats me like shit or someone mediocre who doesn’t light my heart on fire ✌🏼

Actual footage of me waiting for the lion 😅💀

If you thought I was gonna make cookies for National Cookie Day, you weren’t wrong. It would’ve been easier to grab some cookies from Crumbl, but I wasn’t into their selection this week.

I followed this recipe and they were the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve made yet. The sea salt and chocolate combo is *chef’s kiss* 🍪

This tracks. Can’t wait to see Chino this weekend 🖤

I am much too sensitive to do this Suspect Challenge, but I love watching other people get roasted. I can name a few people who would absolutely roast my ass—my sister’s husband, my dead grandma on my mom’s side (ok, on my dad’s side, too LOL), and Christine’s kid, Zoey. She once told our friend (who’s a girl), ‘I like your mustache!’ so I always make sure my shit’s threaded and on point if I know that crazy 6-year-old is gonna be there 😅 She really knows how to humble the shit of you.

Here for the sides ✌🏻

They call me ‘Salami Mami’ (JK, no one calls me that LOL).

My friend told me once that giving birth to her kids ruined her tits and her nipple to breast ratio. I was like, ‘Are they like a pepperoni on an english muffin?’ and she was like, ‘More like a salami on a Ritz cracker!’ 😅 So now I can’t make a charcuterie board without thinking about her big ass salami nipples 🤣

I love Rice Krispie Treats. I used to pick up a Marshmallow Dream Bar whenever I’d go to Starbucks and wash it down with a venti Pink Drink. Nowadays, Nori makes me get an unsweetened iced green tea from Starbucks after splitting a donut from Randy’s. What has become of my life???

Anyway, I thought I’d indulge a little for the holidays with these Fall Leaves Rice Krispie Treats 🍁

Pumpkin pie hack: I got a big ass pumpkin pie from Costco, used a biscuit cutter to cut out individual servings, and topped them with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. Adorable!

My sister’s husband braved Costco, and I instacarted everything else I needed.

Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Grandma’s birthday, or a Thursday, I always make Furikake Chex Mix.

I will always pick a regular potato over a sweet potato, except when it’s baked into a casserole with candied pecans and covered with marshmallows.

My cousin’s wife’s name is ‘Kass,’ and she says it’s short for ‘Kassandra,’ but he tells people it’s short for ‘Casserole’ 🤣

Did they not have PF Chang’s chicken lettuce wraps at the first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Mass?

If your family doesn’t gamble at holiday parties, are you even Asian???

My cousin threw a pool party for her 11-year-old son’s birthday today in San Diego. I spent the morning gathering all my shit because I planned on staying in SD for the week for Thanksgiving. The party started at 1pm, but I didn’t leave LA till 2pm, so didn’t get there till 5pm. I showed up 4 hours late wearing my bathing suit and ready to jump in the pool. The sun had already gone down, and the kids already went swimming (apparently I didn’t get the memo that none of the adults were swimming 😅). They heated the pool for me, and the kids got to go swimming a second time. Since I was the only adult in the pool with the kids, I made sure they all knew how to swim first before enjoying the jets and hard seltzers in the jacuzzi 😜

The bestie asked if she could call me this morning, and I knew something was wrong because she never calls, always texts. I think the last time we spoke on the phone was when her grandma died a few years ago. She calls me and tells me she got diagnosed with breast cancer 😔 She is my third good friend that has gotten breast cancer in the past five years. We used to joke that there was something in the water at our high school (my two friends who got breast cancer went there, and we know some other classmates who have also gotten various cancers) but Alicia didn’t go to my high school. I’m starting to think the common denominator is me 😅 Anyway, please keep her in your prayers 🙏🏼 She has an appointment this Tuesday to discuss stage and treatment. I’m hoping they caught it early, and she beats this just like my other dear friends who kicked cancer’s ass 💕

They found the lump during a routine mammogram, so please get your breasts checked regularly. I had my first mammogram last year, and when I saw my primary care physician this year, I asked her if I should do it annually. She said that my breasts were squishy and not very dense, so it was very easy to see there was nothing wrong during my first screening, and I don’t have to do one every year. So yay for squishy bewbies 🎉

I have no debt and no kids, and my job allows me to afford the lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to 😅 In the end, you can only depend on yourself, and I’ve never wanted to be financially dependent on someone else, especially a man ✌🏻

I haven’t had soda since the stroke, but I used to drink three cokes over an hour lunch with Nori, followed by a venti Pink Drink from Starbucks that I would finish before even going back home. Sugary drinks didn’t used to affect me back then. Nowadays, if I’m not drinking water, I’ll have an iced coffee or alcohol (only drinks with a purpose LOL). We were having lunch earlier this week, and of course I just got a water. We split a combo which came with a drink, so Nori got a soda. There was a beverage station next to us with various lemonades and fruit punch Kool-Aid. I was like, ‘If I were you, I’d get some of that Kool-Aid and add a splash of Sprite!’ She let me smell her cup before she drank it 🤪 What has become of my life???

If I could’ve given birth to you when I was in high school, you’re much too young for me 😅