» My Worst Nightmare.
My Worst Nightmare.
Posted on May 16th, 2010 in lists, mayanisms

I found myself locked out of my house this afternoon. Bra-less.

It was my worst nightmare realized.

I went into the garage to get my bra in my car (don’t ask me why I thought it was in there), and I realized that I had locked the garage door behind me by habit. And then I realized that my bra wasn’t in my car. And then I realized that I was fucked.

I found the “I ♥ Haters” shirt Shi had given me in my trunk, so I threw that on. I knew that my bedroom window was open, but my room is on the second floor. I went into the backyard and scaled the fence like a ninja. I stood there for a few minutes staring at the gap between the roof I needed to jump on and the top of the fence where I stood. I just kept imagining myself lying on the ground with my legs broken… my “I ♥ Haters” shirt over my head, exposing me in all my bra-less glory while I waited for someone to help me. And so I decided to explore other options.

I went around the back and checked to see if I left the sliding door open after I let Rocky out. But of course, today was the one day I remembered to lock it. I didn’t think that the front window would be unlocked, since I never open it, but I checked it anyway, and it was! I took the screen door off, slid the window open and climbed inside. During all that commotion, Rocky just lay there on the couch staring at the wall. Useless!

Here’s what I’ve learned from this experience:

  1. It’s a little too easy to break into my house.
  2. Don’t take your bra off in your car.
  3. Get a dog that will at least try to look alive when someone is potentially breaking into your house.


  1. shi was all like...

    this is the funniest thing ive ever read in my life! so…i guess the main question here is, “why did you take your bra off in your car?” you getting busy in there? hahahhha. i know…i know. i can hear your response now…”i wish i waaas!” LOL =)

    unless you were, in fact, getting busy in your car. then you’d have to give me a call later with all the nasty details =)

    and why was Rocky jes sitting there?! everytime i come over, that hyper-active lil fur ball always insists on attacking me. horrible…

    May 17th, 2010 | #

  2. Skok-dizzle was all like...

    So you were topless when you went out to the garage? Who does that? You couldn’t at least throw on a shirt before you left your room?

    May 17th, 2010 | #

  3. mayan was all like...

    @shi: i wish i waaas! haha. the reason was gym-related, unfortunately. and rocky smells your fear, so that’s why he “attacks” you when you come over. just be cool!

    @skokie: umm who doesn’t do that??? alone time is chones time. i was getting ready to leave, so i had everything but a bra and top on, since i thought my bra was in my car.

    May 17th, 2010 | #

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