Partly because I wanted a Boo Bucket to put the candy in for the delivery guys, but mostly because I wanted Mcdonald’s. How cute is this tiny fry box?!

The Boo Bucket is smaller than I remember, but I was a lot smaller in the 80s, too 🤣

Come and get it 🎃🍫🍬

All Chel wanted for her birthday was to paint some pumpkins, sip some cocktails and slurp some ramen (and a sexy chef to make us dinner, but I couldn’t provide that).

I refilled the punch-a-bunch for Darien and the twins who also coincidentally love Halloween, BBQ and being naked.

I accidentally dropped my still-wet pumpkin towards the end of the night, so not only did I ruin Chel’s warm palette vibe, I also ruined her patio table and area rug underneath it with neon green paint! She says she was getting rid of the table and rug anyway 😅

My cup is so full. Love these girls ♥️

My sister had to go into the office, so she brought me back a Best Drink Ever® (@ Better Buzz)

I made some pumpkin spice snack mix for Chel’s birthday party this weekend, and my sister’s husband says it tastes better than my furikake chex mix! He’ll be selling it at the Otay Ranch Farmers’ Market on Tuesdays 😂

Pumpkin Spice Snack Mix (adapted from Princess Pinky Girl)

Ingredients:

• 1 – 12 oz box Honey Nut Chex cereal
• 1 – 12.5 oz box Cinnamon Chex cereal
• 2 – 6 oz bags Caramel Bugles
• 1 – 7.44 oz bag Campfire S’mores M&Ms
• 1 – 9.9 oz bag Reese’s Pieces
• 1 – 20 oz bag Brach’s Autumn Mix Candy
• 1 – 16 oz bag Pretzels
• 2 tbsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
• 1 tsp Vanilla Extract
• ½ cup Brown Sugar
• ½ cup Butter

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 275°.
2. In a large foil steamer pan, mix the cereal, pretzels and Bugles.
3. Melt butter in a glass measuring cup, and stir together melted butter with brown sugar, pumpkin pie spice, and vanilla. Pour over the dry mix. Stir to coat.
4. Bake at 275° for 45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes.
5. Cool and then add the candy pieces.
6. Store in an airtight container.

I love when my sister gets her hair done, partly because her hairdresser always has new chisme, but mostly because her salon is near University Heights and she brings me home something from Pop Pie.

What better day to carve pumpkins than Friday the 13th? 🎃

I’m the ghost with the most, babe 🖤

What, you don’t like Beetlejuice??? It’s OK, the flame will keep me warm at night. JK there’s a fake candle in there. You almost burn down your apartment once (OK, twice) and people don’t let you forget it. Alicia gave me a Dole Whip Candle from Disneyland and I was like, “I’m not allowed to have an open flame.” 😅

Thanks to Jessie for helping me carve my pumpkin. AKA she carved most of it while I ate s’mores and watched 😂 It was her first time carving a pumpkin, and she loved it! She was like, “Did I just learn a new trade???”

Jessie fell to the ground laughing after Christine asked if we were carving Albert Einstein 🤣 It was like when we were watching America Says and the board was “Famous Mustaches” and one of the answers was Groucho Marx and Pammie was like, “Who the hell is Groucho Marx? Richard Marx‘s brother???” LMAO she was serious! I was eating and spit my food everywhere!

My Halloween snack game is to die for 💀

My favorite Spicy Vodka Pasta from Jon and Vinny’s, but make it spooky 🦇🎃

I’ll pretty much find any excuse to make a charbooterie board.

Meat:

• Salame di Parma
• Spicy Sopressa

Cheese:

• Sharp Cheddar (cut with a pumpkin cookie cutter)
• Roquefort
• Brie
• Cranberry Chèvre
• Creamy Toscano Cheese Soaked in Syrah

Fruit:

• Blackberries
• Oranges
• Cornichons
• Blueberries
• Dried Apricots
• Raspberries
• Pomegranate Seeds

Extras:

• Maple Almonds
• Fig Spread
• Cracker Assortment
• Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps

Decoration:

• Skeleton
• Acacia Serving Platter
• Autumn Flowers

And make a punch-a-bunch for the kids.

And make s’mores.

And witch finger pretzel rods.

And use my plastic vampire teeth.

And my skull pan.

Love, love, love Halloween and these girls so much 🖤

If I can’t cook it in an air fryer, I don’t want it.

Happy 70th birthday to my pops! (@ Fogo de Chão)

I’ve never been to a Brazilian steakhouse before, but it was everything The Mindy Project promised it would be 🤣

Pammie: What are you doing?
Me: Painting these blanched almonds for my witch fingers. What does it look like I’m doing???

I used to go to the Popeye’s near my apartment, and I didn’t think I went there too frequently (maybe once or twice a month), but I’d always order the same thing—a popcorn shrimp combo. One day, I was standing in line minding my own business, and the dude who always helps me sees me standing there and shouts over the people ahead of me, “Popcorn shrimp combo???” Embarrassing! 😳 Like, first of all, lower your voice, and second of all, yes, of course I’d like a popcorn shrimp combo 🤣

I was getting my hair cut in Manhattan Beach, and the new receptionist and I were trying to figure out where we knew each other from, and she was like, “I used to work at Popeye’s! Is that where I’ve seen you???” I guess I went there more frequently than I thought 😅

Another time, I ordered Thai from a nearby restaurant and went to pick it up at the wrong place. They were like, “Are you sure you ordered from here???” and I checked my online order again, and I was, in fact, at the wrong restaurant. I haven’t been back there since. I already can’t go to this other Thai restaurant near my apartment, because the last time I ate there, they tried to kill me 😅 My pad thai was extra spicy (I asked for 5/10 heat and it was more like a gazillion/10). I had to keep asking for more water during my meal and the waiters seemed to enjoy my pain.

This is why I pay extra to doordash and do contactless delivery… partly so I can suffer in the comfort of my own home, but mostly because I don’t have to put a bra on to get my food 😅

Good thing there’s hella Starbucks nearby because now I have to try this apple croissant.

I saw this video and bought some oven-baked cheese, air fried it and ate it with marinara sauce. It was like eating pizza without the dough! I almost grabbed some black olives and turkey pep.

What else can I air fry???

I picked up some Roots Farm Fresh Sweet Potato Toast to go low-carb, because I had Taco Bell three times this week 😅 I was devastated when they took my beloved shredded chicken burrito off their menu, and they now have shredded chicken rolled tacos! And brought back nacho fries. So I had to get both three days in a row, obviously.

Update 10/7/2023: My sister made the mistake of asking me what I wanted for lunch, and I was like, “TACO BELL!” When we went through the drive-thru, the guy told us the shredded chicken rolled tacos were limited edition only and they no longer have them *cries in Spanish*

I was gifted an air fryer by someone who replaced theirs with one of those 3-in-1 kitchen appliances that’s a microwave, air fryer and convection oven in one. I air fried these chicken wings for lunch and they were sooo good and crispy. Who needs Buffalo Wild Wings??? Or as Jay calls them, BBW 🤣

Shi and I used to hang out all the time at my old apartment in SD and eat so bad. She’s seen me eat a whole pizza by myself (in my defense, it was thin crust! LOL), and I’ve seen her eat an entire pound cake in one sitting (multiple times!). We were also in our 20s, and our metabolism was much faster back then 😅 We used to make these sinful cheesecake-stuffed strawberries, and I kept seeing these Wonder Monday ads on all my socials for low-carb, low-sugar cheesecakes, so I ordered some, whipped up a few in my stand mixer, piped them into fresh strawberries and dipped them in heart-healthy dark chocolate! They tasted like heaven.

Partly because I ate my weight in pizza yesterday, but mostly because I saw this brûléed brie on instagram, I made this low-carb platter with apples and Ella’s Flats.

Eating the seed crackers alone felt like I was eating straight up bird food, but the brûléed brie and apples were *chef’s kiss*

Justin Gaspar from Hommage Bakehouse (who won Hulu’s Baker’s Dozen) made pizzas during the party and they were so good. He liked my Boo Berry Krispie Treats and his wife was the first person ever to compliment me on my Original Berf shirt, too, so they’re good people 😆

We came for the pizza, but stayed for the gender reveal!

It has been a hard IVF journey for my dear friend after battling breast cancer, and Jessie surprised all of us by telling us that the surrogacy’s pregnancy took and baby boy Cuevas is coming March 2024!

We are simply overjoyed 🥹

I love Filipino Kare Kare, and this restaurant makes it with BRISKET. I have to try it! BRB, looking up flights to Houston.

Contrary to popular belief, I call Jessie “BB” because she’s loved Boo Berry cereal since we were kids. She and Abe have a legit pizza oven in their backyard and are having a long overdue pizza party tomorrow, so I made these Boo Berry Krispie Treats to bring.

Before the incident, my sister’s husband said I used to eat like I was high all the time. Pop Tarts, Lunchables, Takis, Cup-O-Noodles… Pretty much anything you can doordash after 10pm or buy at the gas station LOL. I used to eat dinner really late and fast food is the only option available at that time. Plus I just genuinely liked processed food and had access to free soda and vending machines at work. I haven’t gone into the office in over three years, I don’t drink soda anymore, and I eat dinner at 6pm now 👵🏼

I found these plant-based ramen noodles that don’t exceed my sodium intake for the day. Apolo Ohno is an investor, if that helps sway you at all. I added some chili garlic crisp, green onions, tofu, crushed red pepper and an egg to jazz it up.

I don’t even know who I am anymore eating plant-based food, having dinner before the sun goes down, and saying shit like, “jazz it up” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My friend asked if I was going vegan with all this plant-based bullshit, but I’m just trying to find healthier alternatives and cut back on the salt. I could never give up BBQ. Gotta risk it for the brisket!

I love Flamin’ Hot anything. I used to eat a bag of hot fries from the gas station every time I’d drive from LA to SD. I tried these Flaming Hot Keto Puffs and they were a good alternative! Def reminded me of a time in my life I now refer to as BS (before stroke) 😅 I miss eating whatever I want!

Every time I eat “healthy” chips, I think of this scene from The Sweetest Thing 🤣

I usually have half a Dave’s Killer Bread Cinnamon Raisin Remix Bagel in the morning with my sugar-free cold brew and unsweetened almond milk (boring!). That’s how my sister’s husband knows I’m awake—he can smell my bagel toasting (sometimes at 8:30, sometimes at 9:30… but if my boss is reading this, always before my shift starts at 9am).

Two of my favorite things combined: banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery (I’ve had it in LA, but they’re famous in NYC) and Ess-a-Bagel (we tried it on our last trip to NYC and loved it). When I saw that two iconic NYC eateries had a collabo, I knew I had to get it, and ordering from Goldbelly was cheaper than flying to New York 😅

I’ve never eaten a plain bagel before (they’re just dyed yellow), but anything slathered with banana pudding schmear and nilla wafers will taste good! It was perfect 👌🏼 (I ate plant-based spam yesterday. I think I can afford some carbs and sugar.)

If you think it’s too sweet and dessert-y to be a bagel, you’re wrong and IDK how we’re friends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, I can’t say “schmear” without thinking of this scene from Miss Congeniality 🤣

I haven’t had spamsilog (spam with rice and eggs for you non-Filipinos) since before the incident. It’s too processed, has too much fat, too much sodium and too many calories. I saw this video of this plant-based spam, so I had to try it. I ate it with rice (I’m eating plant-based spam, you want me to give up carbs, too?) an egg (to increase my good cholestorol levels) and a side of Datu Puti vinegar (because I’m Filipino as fuck).

I don’t usually like vegan food that’s pretending to be meat (I’d rather just eat vegetables), but I do have the occasional Impossible burger when my friend is observing Lent. But this was a great alternative for people who love spam!

I followed this recipe, except I omitted the kale (I don’t like raw kale) and sesame seeds (who the fuck has sesame seeds in their pantry??? It made me think of this video even though I totally have molasses LOL), added some crumbled turkey bacon, croutons, red onion, toasted quinoa and grape tomatoes, and used store-bought blue cheese dressing because it’s what I had on hand (and ain’t nobody got time to make their own dressing!). Okay so I didn’t really follow her recipe, just prepare any salad like you normally would and wrap it in a tortilla. I used to order a salad wrap at the cafe at work when I’d go in, and this reminded me so much of it. Sooo good!

I made the TikTok Feta Fried Egg Taco for lunch and it was sooo good. Before you come at me, I used a Carb Balance Tortilla 🙄

Lunch with my favorite Mexicans (@ Lolita’s)

I haven’t seen Alicia since before the incident, but she sent me flowers in the hospital and checks in regularly 💕

She finally used the Disney gift card I gave her for her 40th birthday and stayed at the Grand Californian! She brought me back a Dole Whip Candle. Smells so good. Love me some dole whip. And I love that all the gifts she brings me are food-related LOL I have a Mickey Mouse soft pretzel magnet from her on my fridge in LA from that one time I was supposed to meet her at California Adventure, but got into an accident on the way there and totaled my car 😅 I kept all my important documents stuck to the fridge under that magnet, even my car registration renewal that I forgot about and got pulled over in DTLA the first day it expired 😅

Jessie was like, “They drove down from Murrietta, and you guys just went to Lolita’s?” (I go to Lolita’s maybe once a week LOL). She wanted Hans & Harry’s afterward, so that’s why we picked Lolita’s in Bonita. You can’t go to SD without getting good Mexican food and having a fruit strudel from Hans & Harry’s!

Nori was telling me how much she loved Bakar’s Hell N Back song, and I told her I first heard it in an NFL Shop commercial and used it in my IG story when I made Jon and Vinny’s Spicy Fusilli alla Vodka pasta when we were stuck at home during covid.

I haven’t had pasta since the day before the incident when Nori and I had lunch at Olive Garden! We both haven’t eaten there since. It’s like how we avoid eating at Ocean Diner, because every time we would go there for lunch, someone would get fired at work LOL.

Since I had some bloodwork done this morning, I thought today would be a good day to make that pasta again. I had to instacart some vodka because they don’t drink around here, and you can’t make vodka sauce without any vodka. I only needed two tablespoons, so now I have a handle of vodka to celebrate with when I get my bloodwork results back.

I forgot to get tomato paste, so I had to instacart a second order. Since my sister’s elevator is still broken, I took the stairs all the way down to the bottom when I got the delivery notification and was like where the fuck is my order??? I went back upstairs and chatted with the idiot driver who delivered it to the wrong house and put it in their garage! Then, while I was on my laptop chatting with instacart’s customer service to get a refund, I forgot about my garlic bread in the oven and burned it. I was so frazzled. I use instacart so I don’t have to inconvenience anyone, and my sister ended up having to drive me to the grocery store for tomato paste and more garlic bread. Maybe I’ll drink that vodka now LOL I’m all riled up!

I finally made dinner and Pammie and her husband loved it. It was just as good as I remember. I guess it was worth all that trouble 😅

Update 9/1: I got my bloodwork results back, and my A1C went up 1/10 of a point and my white blood cell count is elevated which my doctor said she’ll talk to me about during our appointment next week. I think I’ll drink that vodka now 😓

Yvonne?! That’s a french ass name!

I’ve had Food Network on in the background as I’ve been working, and I always thought “star anise” was pronounced “star a-nees,” but I’ve heard both Chef Zakarian and Chef Symon call it “star a-nis” today, and I was like, “Why are they saying it like ‘anus’?” LOL. But I googled it and it is pronounced like anus 🤣

We used to sell these sabatier steak knives when I worked at Red Envelope, and I called them “saba-teer” for months until a customer pronounced it “suh-ba-tee-ay,” and I was like, “These knives are french?! How come no one told me???”

🤣🤣🤣

I went to Vegas partly because I needed a change of scenery, but mostly because I had to try August’s cronut flavor of the month (@ Dominique Ansel Las Vegas)

Parking at Caesars was $25, so this donut cost over $30, but it was worth it 😋

Nori and I used to frequent Mendocino Farms for lunch, but parking was always a nightmare at The Point, and we haven’t gone back since there was a romaine shortage and they substituted shredded lettuce in our Modern Caesar 2.0 salads. We’re petty like that 😂

What I miss most about Mendo is the Superfood Krunchies they top all their salads with. I recently found these Cereausly Crispies on Amazon (ain’t nobody got time to toast their own quinoa!), so I had to get some and make myself a salad.

I accidentally forgot to update my address on instacart, and all my salad accoutrements got delivered to my parents’ house. They’re on a European cruise right now, so my sister had to drive my ass to their house to pick up my perishables. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy 😅

They had my most favorite cookie flavor and the first Crumbl cookie I ever tried (Mom’s Recipe), so I had to.

Do they serve both of these things??? Asking for a friend.

We went to Texas for a wedding once and decided to try What-A-Burger. We were all almost done with our food, and Shi hadn’t gotten hers yet and all she ordered was cheese fries! When they finally brought out her order, it was a box of fries with a slice of cheese still in the wrapper on the side 🤦🏻‍♀️

My boyfriend at the time got a speeding ticket driving back to SD (we were in our twenties and too poor to fly), Chel and her then-boyfriend got into a fight while we were there, and the couple who got married are now divorced. The whole trip was terrible LOL.

I also have to agree with crzylop77. You get better burgers from AM/PM 🤣 I’d choose In-N-Out over What-A-Burger every time, but as far as burger chains go, I like Shake Shack the best.

Update 5/11/2024: We were talking to a girl at Innings Fest, and she was from Texas, so we told her about our wack ass What-A-Burger experience, and she was like, “In Texas’ defense, cheese fries is a fairly new concept for them.” LOL.

Partly because it’s Harry Potter’s birthday, but mostly because I wanted some chocolate cake 😆

If you thought I was gonna have wings on National Chicken Wing Day, you weren’t wrong (@ Buffalo Wild Wings)

Who needs Din Tai Fung reservations???

I ordered these dumplings from MìLà (if you advertise on instagram using a celebrity endorser and offer free shipping if I spend a certain amount, I can be easily swayed to buy anything).

I also made some cucumber salad, garlic green beans and sesame noodles (Pammie’s favorite) in case our dinner wasn’t Asian enough.

I was working on my bed (also where I ate my breakfast and lunch today LOL) and I thought I kicked my pill box from my side table, but I was like, “Why do my legs feel wet?” and I turned around and straight up gasped. I kicked my protein shake (which I pour over ice and drink out of a Starbucks cup with a straw so it feels like I’m having an iced coffee from there) and it spilled all over my white sheets and seeped into the mattress.

Luckily, I already had this stain remover from the last time I spilled at Pammie’s house, and it lifted it right out 😅 IDK what to tell you, I love tummy time and I’m a clumsy ass bitch ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’ve been looking forward to having Grimace’s birthday meal all week, but the Mcdonald’s nearby stopped selling it already (I had a to do some bloodwork today, so of course I got a cheeseburger and fries afterward).

I once went to Dominique Ansel Bakery in NYC, walked right in and some guy was like, “Ma’am, there’s a line” and I looked and there was a whole ass line outside the bakery 🤣 I guess I wasn’t the only one who wanted a cronut 20 years ago! When I saw there was a Dominique Ansel inside Caesars Palace, I had to brave the 105° weather and go.

Their July cronut is blueberry jam with graham cracker ganache and it was sooo good! The best cronut I’ve had before this was at Kettle Glazed in Hollywood, but this one knocked it out of the park. I mean, Dominique Ansel invented the cronut…

me: Are the fries at The Counter skinny or big?
Dennis: They’re skinny like you.
me: Skinny fries are my favorite! Okay I’m not gonna go to dinner with you guys when we get to Vegas. It’ll be after 9pm and I’ll be sleeping LOL. I’m just gonna grab something at the airport.
Dennis: I lied before. The Counter’s fries are big. Now you have to eat dinner with us!
me: Joke’s on you. I like ALL fries!

I love a good french fry, and Eater came out with The Top 10 French Fries in LA. I’ve been to 3/10 of those places (Majordomo, République, and Father’s Office). Anyone want to eat some french fries with me???

I’ve always wanted to make this Strawberry Pretzel Salad (“a favorite dessert at many white trash gatherings” according to this website). It’s now a favorite dessert at Asian gatherings, and I’ll def be making it again!

These S’mores Cookie Bars lets you have s’mores (my favorite) without the campfire.

I cut up some fresh fruit to confuse my body.

Pammie’s rooftop is my favorite place to watch fireworks. She has a perfect view of the Olympic Training Center.

…or how I start every 4th of July.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest was delayed for 2 hours because of the NYC rain, but I eventually got to watch Joey Chestnut win his 16th mustard belt 🌭

My favorite bakery from NYC opens this weekend in LA (@ Levain)

Now I don’t have to pack my foodsaver to bring home fresh cookies the next time I go to New York 🤣 Their chocolate chip walnut cookie will change your life!

My mom asked me to make her banana nut bread with her ripe bananas, and since my sister’s husband has been asking me to make banana bread for months, I made him a loaf, too.

I used to make mini loaves and bring them to work. Here’s some actual footage of the time I caught my old coworker, Justin, in his office going to town on this mini loaf that was supposed to be for him and his wife LOL:

Don’t let The Great Banana Bread Disaster of 2009 fool you. I make a mean ass banana bread.

Best Ever Banana Nut Bread with Streusel Topping Recipe (banana bread recipe adapted from The Baking ChocolaTess and streusel recipe from Yummy Addiction):

Banana Nut Bread Ingredients:

• ½ cup butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs beaten
• 1 ½ cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. salt
• 1 cup mashed bananas (about 3)
• ½ cup sour cream
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• ½ cup chopped walnuts

Streusel Ingredients:

• 3 tbsp. flour
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• ¼ tsp. cinnamon
• 2 tbsp. unsalted butter, slightly softened and cut into pieces
• ¼ cup chopped walnuts

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease a 9-inch loaf pan. Cut a piece of parchment paper and put it on the bottom of the pan (for easy removal).
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter with sugar until light and fluffy.
4. Add in the eggs and mix well.
5. Whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt, then add into the butter mixture and combine together.
6. Add the sour cream, bananas, and vanilla and stir well to incorporate, but don’t overmix.
7. Stir in chopped walnuts.
8. Pour into prepared pan.
9. Add the flour, brown sugar, and cinnamon in a medium bowl and mix until combined. Cut in the butter using your fingers or a pastry blender, until it resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in chopped walnuts. Sprinkle the streusel topping evenly over the batter.
10. Bake for 50-60 minutes.
11. Cool for 10 minutes and then turn the loaf out onto a rack. Remove the parchment paper and wrap the loaf in saran wrap to keep it moist once it’s room temperature.

I didn’t know that liking your husband would hurt this much.

We watched a Korean movie (@ AMC La Jolla), and I got us some Korean snacks to eat while we cried. They even referenced one of my favorite movies, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you’ve never seen it, these two people erase each other from their memories after a painful breakup, and they still end up finding each other again. You can’t fight fate…

Jessie was off today for Juneteenth, so she invited us into her Korean world LOL. IDK guys, the Padres are opening next season against the Dodgers in South Korea, and she might go there solo and not come back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

All my dad wanted for Father’s Day was a beer on a rooftop (@ Seneca)

The dole whip at the food and craft market below was a bonus. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

I’ve been to 3/20 places on Eater’s 20 Essential BBQ Restaurants in LA, Spring 2023 list (Bludso’s, Slab & Maple Block Meat Company). Anyone want to try the other 17 with me??? I also have a BBQ bucket list if you feel like traveling.

Craving a lobster roll ever since Yelp sent me their 2023 Top Lobster Roll Spots in Every State list. This place in North Park did not disappoint (@ Pete’s Seafood and Sandwich)

We paid our respects at Jocelyn’s mom’s viewing tonight. No one wore booty shorts (@ Glen Abbey)

Hopefully the señorita bread we brought made up for us not voting for her for homecoming queen 20-something years ago. It felt like high school all over again (I’m still hanging out with the same girls and I had a carne asada burrito for dinner LOL).

Redondo is ready for me to come back! Now the closest lobster roll will be five minutes away from my apartment, and I don’t have to wait for an election to have one from the food truck across the street.

Also, Yelp sent me this list of their 2023 Top Lobster Roll Spots in Every State. Anyone interested in eating their way across America with me???

I made this spaghetti squash pad thai after Shi made pancit with spaghetti squash and I was wondering what other rice noodle recipes I could sub them for.

I’m that basic ass b that always orders pad thai at Thai restaurants. I followed this recipe, but I omitted the ginger, carrots and cilantro (since I don’t like any of those things LOL) and topped it with crunchy garlic chili oil (I put that shit on everything). It turned out so great!

I rarely eat rice or pasta now, but I still allow myself the occasional cinnamon roll or cookie. I’m not a psychopath 😅

Nori and I would frequent this taco shop when we had lunch every day for work, and even though we’d almost always go to Starbucks after, sometimes I would get this Mexican rice pudding that was just hanging out there in the fridge, begging me to buy it. Nori doesn’t like milky things LOL, so she would just watch me eat it, but today is her birthday, so I made some and thought of her. I miss my friend! She really helped me out after I got sick and checks in all the time ❤️‍🩹

I sent her a care package of all her favorite things: Mango Gummy Bears and Pineapple O’s from Lin’s Hawaiian Snacks, Dark Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts, King’s Hawaiian Bread with Passion Fruit Jelly, Freeze-Dried Sour Skittles, CheeseCorn from Garrett, a thumb drive with all her favorite movies, and some gift cards to Nordstrom and Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf because she is never without a spritz of perfume and a big ass Tropical Passion Iced Tea. She sent me this photo of her dog, Kona, trying to steal some of her candy 💕

I’m on instagram, partly because I follow a bunch of dogs, but mostly because of this guy 😏 His caption on this post is, “I baked you some dessert, so you can eat it while I eat you.” 😳

Mmm, Daddy 😈

Logan Sandoval is my favorite contestant on Barbecue Showdown.

He has a weekend pop-up in LA. Who’s coming with me???

Partly because it’s Meat Friday, but mostly because I’ve been watching Barbecue Showdown and I wanted to cross another one off of my BBQ Bucket List (@ El Barbecue)

My sister’s husband said we should only go there during the day (it’s in Sherman Heights across the street from a liquor store and a 24-hour taco shop AKA not the best area). That’s okay, they start selling ribs at 1pm anyway LOL.

Eating more eggs because my primary care physician said I need to raise my “good” cholesterol. This is 41, y’all 👵🏼

Egg Bite Recipe (adapted from Recipe Girl’s Copycat Starbucks Egg Bites):

• Simple Truth Natural Cage Free Eggs – 10
• Applegate Naturals Uncured Turkey Bacon – 5 Slices
• Private Selection Alpine Blend Shredded Swiss & Gruyère Cheese – 2 cups
• Knudsen Small Curd Low Fat Cottage Cheese – 2 cups

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place a wire rack on top of the prepared baking sheet. Line the raw turkey bacon on the wire rack in a single layer. Make sure no strips overlap one another. Place strips of turkey bacon in the pre-heated oven for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, flip the bacon strips over one by one, and bake them for another 7 minutes. Cut the turkey bacon into little pieces (I used kitchen shears) and set aside.

Pre-heat oven to 350°F. Spray 24 cups in two regular-sized muffin pans generously with nonstick spray (I used these silicone muffin molds and Simple Truth Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray). Combine the eggs and cottage cheese in the blender, and then stir in the shredded cheese. This results in a fluffier texture without the cottage cheese being visually present. My Vitamix is at my mom’s, so I used my sister’s milk frother that she uses to make her matcha green tea every morning to make the small curds even smaller LOL (don’t tell her). Pour the mixture into the muffin pans, filling each about half full to leave room for the egg to expand while baking. Top with the turkey bacon bits. Bake for 30 minutes, or until the eggs are completely cooked. Remove from the oven and take out of the muffin pan.

I’ve actually never had the egg bites from Starbucks (I was too busy eating birthday cake pops and washing them down with trenta pink drinks, so I can’t compare them, but these tasted really good!). My sister’s husband said they even taste better than the egg bites from Costco (high praise coming from him LOL!).

Since I only eat two a day, I froze the rest and nuke them for ninety seconds in the morning for a quick breakfast. I top it with crunchy garlic chili oil and it’s perfection. I don’t salt my food (I’m trying to cut back on the sodium, too), but feel free to add some salt if you want!

Each Egg Bite: Calories: 87. Carbs: 1. Fat: 5. Protein: 8. Sodium: 169. Sugar: 1.

Update 6/13/2023: I made a second batch and used my Vitamix to blend the cottage cheese and eggs together, and the texture is def fluffier! I fell in my parents’ garage trying to put the Vitamix in the car last weekend (that shit is heavy, plus I was trying to carry other things). My mom opened the door to the garage and saw me on the floor LOL. My leg still hurts, but my egg bites are fluffy as hell!

The second season of Barbecue Showdown came out today on Netflix, so these are my plans for the weekend.

I’ve been to BBQ Showdown judge Kevin Bludso’s original location in Compton. He’s since moved to Fairfax, and he’s opening a location in Santa Monica this summer. Take me with you, and I’ll treat you to a Pink’s chili dog and some Brambleberry Crisp ice cream from Jeni’s after! None of which will hold up to my apartment in Redondo, so we’ll just have to eat it there! I hope you’re hungry 😏

Miso Chilean sea bass (a riff on the miso black cod from Nobu) with baby bok choy drizzled with crunchy garlic chili oil.

The miso marinade was a bitch to make (it was so thick!) and a bag of five Chilean sea bass fillets was almost $50 at Costco, but it was worth it (one miso black cod at Nobu is nearly $40!).

This whole ass meal was *chef’s kiss*. Bon appétit!

This article explains so much 🤣

Sidenote: The only place I’ve ever drank water from the tap is when I stayed at the Ace Hotel in Portland. The water from the kitchen faucet was so cold and refreshing. I would never drink the water from the tap from my apartment in LA! LOL. Not even if that shit was Brita’d (I would sooner get a bottled water from the liquor store next door or the gas station across the street!).

I’ve been wanting to make these TikTok Cinnamon Rolls for forever, and when the girls came over for brunch months ago, imagine my surprise when I found out it was a “healthy” brunch (it was after the incident), we were having healthy shit like crudité, Christine knew brunch was gonna be healthy so she ate a Mcdonald’s breakfast sandwich beforehand LOL, and no one brought waffles!

I thought Mother’s Day was a good excuse to make these cinnamon rolls, so I did and everyone loved them! They were sooo good and I’ll def be making them again.

The best part is you use canned cinnamon rolls to make it! Ain’t nobody got time to make cinnamon rolls from scratch.

This is not my picture, although that logo looks like my dutch oven and my glasses (am I that basic???). My cinnamon rolls turned out exactly like these, but my family devoured them before I could take a picture. Also, I would never use that upper font LOL.