🖤

He’s so tall and handsome as hell
He’s so bad, but he does it so well
And when we’ve had our very last kiss
My last request is
Say you’ll remember me
Standing in a nice dress
Staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you’ll see me again
Even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

It’s two in the morning
I don’t need nobody else
But you’re my tragedy

Young the Giant is always a good idea.

Rolling in hella deep, headed to the mezzanine
Dressed in all pink ‘cept my gator shoes, those are green
Draped in a leopard mink, girl standing next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets (piss)
But shit, it was 99 cents

Macklemore was surprisingly entertaining and brought attention to what’s happening in Gaza.

I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask, and neither should you

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

And it’s worth it, it’s divine
I have this some of the time

I forgot that I put this place on my list because the pastry chef at this restaurant was recently nominated for a James Beard Award, and I ended up ordering a mimosa and steak and eggs 😅 (@ Valentine)

I dropped this oatmeal whoopie pie and I had to keep explaining that the stains all over my leggings were whoopie pie cream and not some other white stuff 😅 (@ A Flour Shop)

Holy pierogi (@ All Pierogi Kitchen)

I’ve had Polish sausage before (I’ve also had kielbasa LOL), but I’ve never had any other Polish food. It was sooo good! I highly recommend the cheddar and jalapeño pierogi. I thought it was gonna be “white people spicy,” but it actually had some heat! 😅

This Ike’s was within walking distance to our hotel. There’s an Ike’s up the street from my apartment in LA, and one in SD, but their “Going Home for Thanksgiving” sandwich on dutch crunch bread will change your life (@ Ike’s Love & Sandwiches)

At night I cry and howl at the moon

The world I love, the tears I drop
To be part of the wave, can’t stop
Ever wonder if it’s all for you?

And I thought my festival ‘fit was fire 😅 (@ Innings Festival)

The ice machines were down at the airport this morning, so they couldn’t serve iced coffee anywhere. I had to pick up some overpriced bottled bullshit from Hudson News. Then I got the window seat in an aisle with no window on our flight LOL. Hopefully the rest of my weekend goes smoother 😅

I’ve always heard that “heaven is a place where all the dogs you have ever loved run to greet you.” IDK if that’s true or if I’m even headed to heaven LOL, but it’s a nice thought. Today, my aunt put her last pup down. I looked after her when her moms went on vacation, and she was the sweetest girl.

I hope she’s in doggy heaven playing with Rocky and Myko in the matching Baja Ponchos I got them for Christmas 🥹

I received the sweetest gift from my dear friend, Heather.

It came at the perfect time, because I had just gotten an email with our presentation assignments due by next week and a blackout period where we can’t request any time off at work. I was hoping presentations and catalogs were canceled because we’re usually blacked out on the calendar by this time, and I even got approved for time off next month for Nashville.

Plus I had a pretty shitty day today. They refilled my prescription at the wrong CVS by my parents’ house instead of my usual one near my sister’s, so my parents had to pick it up for me since my sister had to go into the office today. Since they were here, I had them drive me to the bank. I was originally planning to take an uber, because I don’t like asking anyone for help. I don’t have a house key, because I don’t drive yet so I don’t go anywhere without my sister. So I just ran out the garage door as it was closing. When I got back from the bank, I kept ringing the doorbell and my mom called my sister’s husband fifteen times, but he was taking a nap, so he didn’t answer the door or his phone. My parents just brought me back to their house, and my sister had to pick me up when she got off work that night. Then I had to work some more when I got home, because my project manager was asking for a bunch of shit, but I didn’t have my computer with me. I haven’t even started my presentation yet, and I was hoping to have comps done before my flight tomorrow morning.

I’m about to take a bath with this lavender/chamomile/vanilla shower steamer and light this chai latte candle so I can fucking relax 🤪

Thank you, friend! 💛

(via shawnaprotzman)

I’m the gutter child 😅

My sister’s husband often asks, “How were you two raised in the same household?” I am who I am ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think I like this little life

Rainy day tunes 🌧️

I saw this video on instagram and had to try it with my plant-based spam. It was sooo good and a healthier alternative to my favorite Sausage Mcmuffin with Egg from Mcdonald’s. Even my sister’s husband (who loves spam and SMEs) thought it was good! The highest of compliments! 😆

I made some spaghetti squash casserole and roasted vegetables to try to eat healthy this week in preparation for all the bad decisions I’m gonna be making in Phoenix this weekend. And Nashville next month. And Spain soon after that 😏

Chel is leaving for Hawaii tomorrow, and one of her sons was all like, “Please pray for all the hurt people on the plane.” And Chel was like, “What plane???” And he was like, “The plane we’re taking to Hawaii.” 😳 He’s always had a sixth sense about things. He sees his grandma all the time who used to live in that house and died long before he was born. This kid both amuses and terrifies me 😅

Sending all the positive energy their way for safe travels ✨

Rise and grind (@ Mission Bay Beach Club)

Shi just wanted to go hiking and have some kid-free QT for her birthday. I would only get up this buttcrack early on a Sunday and exercise for this girl ❤️

Actual footage of me waking up before the sun this morning:

And me in the car while Christine drove my sleepy ass:

Thanks to Shi for picking a relatively easy hike that was mostly flat and paved and being so mindful of my fall risk status 😅 I actually loved this little walk around the bay, and we all have birthdays in the winter, so I wouldn’t mind doing this again during the cooler months! They also do yoga on Sundays, so I’ll have to try that one of these weekends.

Sidenote: This girl ran past me on the trail and she was like, “Behind!” I moved over and wanted to say, “Yes, chef,” but I didn’t think she’d get the reference 😂

This Lloyd Wright stunner is closing 😭

It’s a gorgeous glass chapel nestled on a cliff in Palos Verdes, and more importantly, it’s where Julie and Caleb got married on The O.C. 😆

I was lucky enough to visit this gem in 2016. Sadly,  8 years later, I’m still unmarried and without child (they do baptisms here, too).

I doordashed Korean short ribs to grill from H Mart on Super Bowl Sunday, but the dasher accidentally got me bulgogi instead. Doordash refunded me $90 for the incorrect item, and I got to keep 6 pounds of bulgogi for free! Usually I love free meat LOL, but I’ve been eating bulgogi tacos (Kogi-style) on carb balance tortillas for days now, and dis tew much 😅 I gave Christine 4 pounds of bulgogi and she just dropped off Nothing Bundt Cakes. My sister’s husband looked in the bag and was like, “These aren’t beef ‘n’ cheddars.” 😆 I love this little food exchange we’ve got going on. So far, we’ve traded sinigang, zuppa toscana, fusilli alla vodka, Greek pearl couscous salad, Dunkin’ Donuts, Arby’s and now bulgogi and Nothing Bundt Cakes! Have I mentioned how much I love living so close to the Lansangs??? ❤️

Friyay vibes ✌🏼

My parents are going to Portugal and Spain this Summer, and Spain is on my fuck it bucket list, so I invited myself 😏 I jokingly said I’d only go if we fly first class, so my dad has been looking into it. The difference between my dad and me is that he’ll do anything to save a buck (like book his flight through a cheap travel agency that makes it impossible to deal directly with the airline when you need to make changes, whereas I will always pay extra to not have to deal with any of that). He’s been sending me flight itineraries to see if they’re legit, and one google search revealed they were a big ol’ scam. Needless to say, I’ll be booking our flights for this trip 😅

The other day, one of the directors who works in the office messaged me on teams saying he had something for me asking where he should mail it. I thought it might be my 10-year work anniversary pin, (even though my 11-year anniversary just passed last month) or maybe a termination letter (even though I just got a raise and bonus 😅), but HR has my apartment in LA listed as my mailing address, and they would normally be the ones sending things of that nature, so I didn’t think it was HR-related. He was being really cryptic about it, so I had no idea what it was. It’s all my white puffer jacket that I left in the drawer of my old office. JK, Andy, who sits in my old office probably wears it. It’s a women’s jacket, but he’s v petite 🤣

This is like the time at my old job when they announced a mandatory meeting and we were going crazy wondering what it was about—Were they laying people off? Did they find out that my coworker Jesse drank that unclaimed Red Bull in the fridge? Were my yoga pants too casual for Casual Friday??? It turns out the meeting was a break from work where we got to play Taboo, and we won so the customer service team had to make us coffee for a week!

Hopefully it’s something good! I’ll keep you posted…

Update: I got it, and it was just a certificate congratulating me on 11 years with Skechers and a voucher for a free pair of shoes 😅 HR must’ve interofficed it to the advertising department thinking I worked in the offiice. No old coworker’s heads here!

Missed opportunity to blow out my back 🤣

My worlds colliding ♥️

I should probably take down this post, but only a couple people still read this blog (hi, Shirley May!), so I’ll keep it up for posterity’s sake. And so I have receipts when I say, “Remember when you said ‘so and so’ on February 14, 2024?” 🤣

My funny valentines ❤️

Love, love, love that the Lansangs live close enough to bring me a beer and beef ‘n’ cheddar for dinner!

Yep, we’re eating our feelings today 😅

Life’s hard enough. Eat the heart-shaped donuts ❤️🤎

Also, I washed down my prozac with an iced coffee from Mcdonald’s this morning, and I’m ready to start my day 😅

(via cedriklorenzen)

I’m craving pizza all of a sudden 😳🍕

Educating my project manager about botox and fuck boys 😆

I’m only here for this spread.

And this spreadsheet.

And maybe Usher.

I won $200, so I doordashed us all some celebratory ice cream!

I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand these two 😅

Birria taco bar, tostilocos bar, and open bar. This is my kind of baby shower 😅

Me when I babysit children:

• TOPS Malibu A Sparkling Toast Wish Sparkler
• The Bruery “Goses are Red” Beer
• Lost Farm Strawberry Chews
• Favorite Day Valentine’s Hot Cocoa Spoons
• Compartes California Love Pretzel Dark Chocolate Bar
• Ghirardelli Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
• Lindt Lindor Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Truffles
• Godiva Dark Chocolate Hearts Bar
• Dove Valentine’s Dark Chocolate Hearts
• Dove Valentine’s Milk Chocolate Hearts
• Reese’s Valentine’s Day Peanut Butter Hearts
• Twix Valentine’s Minis
• Kit Kat Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate Wafers
• Rolo Valentine’s Day Chocolate Caramels
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Kisses
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Hugs & Kisses
• Hershey’s Valentine’s Day Milk Chocolate
• M&M’s Valentine’s Milk Chocolate
• Sour Punch Valentine’s Cupid Straws
• Haribo Valentine’s Goldbears Gummi Candy
• Starburst FaveREDs Fruit Chews
• Charms Valentine’s Pops
• Skittles Valentine’s Exchange Kit
• Skittles Valentine’s Wild Berry Exchange Kit
• Pelon Pelo Rico

My sister’s husband heard me huffing and puffing up their stairs and he’s like, “What you got there?” and I was like, “Target delivery. I bought all this candy for Valentine’s Day.” And he’s like, “You making gift bags? You’re such a good friend doing this every holiday, but I’ve never seen someone send you a gift bag!” I’m not the kind of person who gives expecting something in return ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Giving is my love language, y’all ❤️💕 Well, BBQ is also my love language (I’m hella lingual).

Valentine’s Day may be a made up holiday, but these goodies are very real 😋

I also made these matching “On Godric” shirts for my sister and her husband. I’m not hood or a Potterhead (so I’ve never said, “on God,” and def have never said, “on Godric” LOL) and IDK what the fuck this dude is saying, but Pammie and D like him 😆

I may not have won tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC, but I won the lottery to purchase tickets to the Banana Ball World Tour 🍌⚾

I order everything online and I refuse to pay extra for shipping. I only needed one $2 sparkler at TOPS Malibu, but I didn’t want to pay $18 for shipping, and they offer free shipping on orders over $50, so I bought 25 sparklers LOL. I once ordered bedding from Anthropologie, and spent over $300 and they still charged for shipping! And to make things worse, I ended up burning the duvet I got from Anthro in The Great Fire of 2014, and it was discontinued so I couldn’t even replace it 😅

…or me waiting outside for my March and Ash delivery, even though weed is legal in California, and I’m pretty sure my sister’s neighbor is a drug lord (who else buys a million dollar home and only lives in it part-time because he has a “job” that keeps him in Mexico most of the year? 😅).

I used to doordash Mcdonald’s for breakfast every morning, even though they’re literally across the street from my apartment. Now, I only treat myself to this meal every few months after some routine blood tests 😅 Or when I’m happy to pay $300 to get my car out of a tow yard because I initially thought someone stole it (a Mcdonald’s breakfast is celebratory. Fight me).

P.S. I’m so excited to see Phantogram at Innings Fest, even though I’ve seen them live a million times since I first saw them at Outside Lands in 2011. I’ve actually already seen a lot of the bands that will be there (Young the Giant, Hozier, Jimmy Eat World, Red Hot Chili Peppers). What can I say, I’m a repeat offender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(via readchoi)

“It’s giving Dasani” 🤣

This urgent low blood glucose alert on my phone woke me up at 10pm last night. Yes, I was already sleeping at 10pm 👵🏼 I eat dinner at 6pm and sleep soon after, because the earlier I eat/sleep, the less of a chance of me having a fourth meal or snacking (you can’t have a midnight snack if you’re not awake at midnight LOL).

This bodes well for my upcoming blood tests later this week. This, however, does not bode well for anyone around me. I’m not eating sugar and I’m on my period right now. You should probably avoid this hot mess express for the next 3-5 days. I’m sorry for anything I said while my blood glucose was low 😅

I’ve legit said a number of these things 😅

I get my coffee iced no matter how cold it is outside, my landlord fixed my leaky ceiling years ago, I don’t own an umbrella, I check if mercury’s in retrograde whenever something bad happens, and if it’s raining on a Friday, I wonder if my favorite vendor at the Hermosa Beach Farmers Market is okay 😆

Sade covers on this rainy Monday.

My cousin was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and she’s having surgery today. She’s only a few years older than me, and her mom (my dad’s little sister) died of cancer when she was only 34. It was 1989, and we were just kids. I got her this amethyst crystal because of its healing properties, and she believes in this same woo woo bullshit that I do 😅 Sending all the healing energy her way ✨

I was good today and had a salad from Mendocino Farms for lunch. The closest Mendo is downtown next to Blue Bottle (my favorite coffee shop), so I picked up a New Orleans-style Iced Coffee, too (I had oatmeal for breakfast and lettuce wraps for dinner, I think I deserve a little caffeine and sugar. Plus yesterday, my sister and her husband chowed down on Mcdonald’s Sausage Mcmuffins with Egg and hash browns while I cried into my steel cut oats with potassium-rich bananas and anti-inflammatory cinnamon).

I’ll just be here the rest of the weekend 🫠

The All Blacks (Jason Momoa’s favorite rugby team from New Zealand) have a match against Fiji in July at Snapdragon Stadium in SD. I’ve never been to a rugby game, but I’ll go to maybe catch a glimpse of Khal fuckin’ Drogo watch this haka live.

We’re part of a very special set of people (O.I.N.K. – one income, no kids) that do whatever the fuck we want like buy VIP tickets to Justin Timberlake’s show in LA and floor tickets to his show in Vegas 😆

I had Food Network’s Worst Cooks in America on while I was working, and this was one of the contestant’s descriptions. I guess all the contestants are nepo babies, and this particular girl has an NFL dad turned restauranteur who spoils her. I can’t with these contestants 😂

I also buy two tickets even though I don’t know who I’m going with yet. Unless it’s for John Mayer and I buy a single ticket off stubhub for $300 an hour before the show, because I decided last minute to go and know no one else would pay $300 (or any amount of money) to see John Mayer 😅

(via tinydicebuddies)

I tried to be healthy today and ordered a salad from Mendocino Farms, but my sister accidentally ate mine instead of hers. I would’ve eaten her order, but her salad had raw kale in it, and I hate raw kale. Oh, well. I’ll try again tomorrow 😅

I heard this song on Chel’s instagram post about her stay at Jacumba Hot Springs Hotel, but I thought they were saying “chainsaw daydreams” instead of “chase our daydreams” LOL. I’ve been listening to too many true crime podcasts 😅

I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I’ve gained a few since I last saw my PCP in person almost a year ago. Granted, I last saw her a couple months after the strokes when I had dropped a ton of weight because I was scared to eat a carb, plus it’s after the holidays now! I’m still skinnier than I was before the strokes, but she didn’t see me till after I lost all that weight. I planned on eating my way through Phoenix and Nashville in the next couple months, but she scheduled another appointment in the beginning of May to check on my progress. She said I should be doing at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. I’m like, “But that’s 150 more than I normally do.” 😅

Welp, it’s officially EOD in NYC, and I didn’t win tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show. I guess I’ll be an adult and go to my doctor’s appointment and work tomorrow 😅 I think because we had to put our zip in when we entered, they didn’t think a girl from the west coast would go to a show in NYC at a moment’s notice, but they doubt my commitment to Sparkle Motion Justin Timberlake.

I was craving a Monte Cristo and couldn’t find a good one to doordash, so I made it myself 😋

…or my pops being extra and changing into this outfit after the Niners won tonight’s game LOL. I was only rooting for Detroit because I wanted to see a real lion on the field at the Superbowl.

BRB crying 😭

I had a fraud alert this morning (some asshole tried to buy $200 worth of stuff with my credit card at easybesttoystore.com) so they canceled my card and issued me a new one. I was trying to pre-pay for my prescriptions at CVS, so I had to use another credit card, which I never use. I still had to activate it, so I went to do that on Chase and so I logged in and was like, “Why is there so much money in this account?” I looked at my transactions, and I guess I got a raise and bonus on Friday 😅 I wasn’t expecting anything since I was on medical leave for half of last year.

Waiting until the eleventh hour to check in to my doc appointment in case I win tickets to Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC that day and have to cancel it 😅

Double trouble (@ Montevalle Recreation Center)

Today was the twins’ first birthday party, so we came butt early to help my cousin and her daughter (the twins’ mom) set up. I doordashed some Better Buzz Coffee to wake our asses up.

The other coolest set of twins at the party.

I’m a cat, duh ✌🏼

As we were waiting in line to get our faces painted, Chel was like, “Are you wearing perfume? What smells so good?” While I was wearing my Pure Seduction Victoria’s Secret Body Mist LOL, I was like, “I think you’re smelling the churros, dude.” 🤣 We were steps away from the delicious churro cart our cousin hired for the party. Also, I’m pretty sure Chel and I were the oldest people in the face painter line (JK, my sister got the Deathly Hallows Harry Potter symbol painted on her arm—she’s 13 months older than me 😆).

This party was so on brand, my little graphic designer heart was bursting at every little detail 🍓

So if I get jealous, I can’t help it
I want every bit of you, I guess I’m selfish
It’s bad for my mental, but I can’t fight it, when
You’re out lookin’ like you do, but you can’t hide it, no

Currently on rotation ❤️

My sister and her husband were on some “dinner playlist” music channel on TV, and her husband was like, “Why does this sound like a song Mayan would like?” and my sister looked up and it was Lord Huron. She was like, “Yep. She loves this band.” What can I say, I’m partial to sad indie music ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One time, we were at a Lord Huron show, and my sister was like, “I can’t find this band on Instagram” (she was trying to tag them in her story), and I look over at her phone and she had typed, “Lady Huron” LOL. I was like, “You know it’s ‘Lord Huron’ right?” 🤣

When we stayed at The Plaza in NYC, I kept commenting on how good it smelled. I found out they sell their signature scent online, and I had to get it. Now it smells like The Plaza up in this bitch.

I’ll just be here for the rest of the day.

Nori messaged me earlier and was like, “Still busy?” I’ve been super busy at work this week, because I’m still catching up from being on vacation and being out sick from my tummy ache last week. I was like, “Yeah, don’t they know I’m trying to win JT tickets over here?!” 😅

He said, “baby, ” that’s what he called me, “I love you”
Every single word you say makes me feel some type of way
It’s the thought of you that slightly scares me
But it takes my breath away, forget what I was gonna say
The day that I met you, I started dreaming
Now I write ’em down if I remember in the morning time

I just want a daddy who sends me songs that make him think of me 😆 I told Jessie to tell Nixon (who’s in middle school), it doesn’t get easier in your 40s 😅

I got this new pill organizer because adulting.

I also just entered the lottery to win tickets for Justin Timberlake’s free show in NYC next week, even though I have a doctor’s appointment in LA that day, so I’m not adulting too hard 😅

First full moon of 2024 ✨

Charge those crystals and harness that energy under that Wolf Moon, y’all!

I was fine getting general admission tickets, but Pammie insisted we treat ourselves to VIP passes. YOLO ✊🏼 Is it February yet???

My friend tested positive for Covid, and she thinks she got it from a meeting she had to attend at UCSD in person last week. My sister had to go into the office today for a meeting with executives that are flying in from all over the country! Her boss has a cold and is knowingly going in sick for that meeting and also a team building event at an escape room LOL. Like, what’s more important than your health??? Certainly not your job! Luckily, my boss is a germophobe, and I haven’t had to go in the office since 2020.

I’ve somehow managed to dodge Covid for 4 years, even though I’ve been exposed a couple times. Should I add that to my Tinder bio? “Never gotten Covid. Never seen a Star Wars movie.” Just kidding (I’m not on Tinder).

Anytime I say I’ve never had Covid, my sister (who got Covid on vacation in Hawaii despite masking up and sanitizing everything all the time) likes to remind me that I had two strokes last year. Touché, bitch. Tou-fucking-ché 😅

My parents have these shelves of knick knacks that they keep the phone chargers on, and as we were checking up on their house while they’re away on their cruise (not sure what we were checking for as they have an alarm system and cameras), I was staring at these little cups on the shelves. “B” & “S” for my parents, Ben & Shirley, “P” & “D” for my sister, Pammie and her husband, Dennis, and “M” & “R”… The “M” was for Marion, but what the hell was the “R” for? My sister saw me looking at them and was like, “R for Rocky!” Oh, duh. Of course my mom would get one for our beloved dog who died five years ago LOL.

My sister has a fancy ass rice cooker, and Christine sent us home yesterday with some homemade sinigang that was perfect for this rainy day.

I’ve never made rice in this cooker before, and I was like, “How do you know when it’s done?” She was like, “It plays a little song.” I was like, “I’ve been in my bedroom for the past half hour. IDK if it played the song yet.” I open it and it’s still a little wet on the bottom. I wasn’t sure if it wasn’t done yet, or if I put too much water (my rice always ends up notoriously mushy, which is why I hardly ever make it). But then I closed the lid, and it said “3 MINUTES TILL COMPLETION,” and I’ve been laughing for a million years because I’m a child.

Chamangos and chisme (@ Crab Hut)

The girls were supposed to come over today, and I was going to smoke my first brisket, but I’m still scared to eat BBQ, so we just hit up good ol’ Crab Hut. I used to go here so much, they had my picture on the wall. I was the Duchess of Crab Hut on Yelp and the Mayor of Crab Hut on Foursquare LOL. Not much has changed about this place, but they now tack on an automatic 18% service fee no matter how small your party is. I hate when restaurants do that. I’m already a good tipper, but I don’t like to be forced to tip. Also, I’m not gonna add an additional tip if I’m already paying an extra 18%. Does my waiter even get this service fee or does it line the owner’s pockets??? I also hate it when restaurants charge an automatic “health surcharge” on top of your bill to pay for their employees’ healthcare. I’ve only seen it done in LA. Like, I love you, République, but I’m pretty sure I’m already overpaying for this kouign amann without your additional 3% health surcharge. Don’t even get me started on alimony (I don’t believe spousal support should exist if you’re no longer spouses. All of my girlfriends who are married make more than their husbands. All of them. Separate from child support, they shouldn’t have to pay them a single dime if they ever get divorced. Ok that’s the end of my rant 😅).

Flights booked ✔️

It’s my first time going to Nashville, so of course I made a pinterest board of all the places I want to go there. Anything I missed???

Kevin Garrett moved to Nashville a few months ago, so I’m hoping he’s playing somewhere in town that weekend. I love going to live shows in other cities.

We were talking about how Ice Cube is exposing Jay-Z and saying he’s worse than Diddy, and how no one is safe. Seriously, nothing better come out about Young the Giant 🤣

I got a new phone today, because I shattered my screen last week when I was talking shit about Kylie Jenner 😅 I could’ve just replaced my screen like the last time I shattered it, but they’re on the iPhone 15 now and mine was a 10. I was due for a new phone LOL. Plus this new one has 1 TB of space, while my old one had 256 GB and the additional cloud space I pay extra monthly for has been full for 2 years 😅

S/O to the guy who helped me at Apple Otay Ranch and told me he liked my shirt. I was wearing my Original Berf shirt, and I love when people get the reference. I was like, “Thanks, it’s a collector’s item,” and he laughed and laughed and I left the store with a new phone and the biggest smile on my face.

Maybe more people will get the reference now that The Bear has swept the Emmy’s, Golden Globes and Critics’ Choice Awards.

My sister’s husband was like, “What you making for breakfast?” and I was like, “Steel cut oats with bananas.” He was like, “That’s some middle-aged shit.”

I sprinkled some cinnamon on top because it’s naturally anti-inflammatory for some added sweetness.

This is 42, y’all.

BRB crying.

I’ve been on a juice cleanse for the past few days in preparation for my bloodwork this morning, so I celebrated eating solid foods again with this $50 cereal we picked up in Brooklyn last weekend.

Forbidden love is like my favorite trope, and if you’ve never seen Moulin Rouge!, Christian (a writer) and Satine (the star of the Moulin Rouge) are secretly in love, but they need the duke to invest in the club to keep it afloat, and the duke wants Satine, so she pretends to be in love with him. Christian gets jealous and writes this song for Satine to sing in the show so whenever they sing it, it means they still love each other, and my heart bursts every time I hear it ♥️ Also, Ewan Mcgregor has the voice of a goddamn angel, and I’m still salty that he was robbed of an oscar nom in 2002. That is all.

I used to never believe in all this woo woo bullshit, but now look at my tarot-planning, crystal-charging, sound-bathing, chakra-aligning ass 😅 I blame LA. And the universe.

Doing a little preemptive juice cleanse before my doctor’s appointment. The holidays and my special relationship with BBQ does not bode well for my upcoming blood tests this week 😅 (Yes, I know your A1C levels go back 3 months. Just let me).

I usually like to let my birthday pass without much fanfare (one year, Shi was like, “Am I just supposed to sit across from you at dinner and not acknowledge it’s your birthday?!”). I spent my last birthday in the hospital, so I decided to celebrate this trip around the sun.

A lot of iconic NYC eateries have since opened in LA (Roberta’s, Levain Bakery, Halal Guys, Langer’s Deli, Shake Shack, and Magnolia Bakery among others), but there’s still lots of places to try over here!

I have TSA pre-check because of my global entry enrollment, but my boots set off the metal detectors, so I had to take off my shoes and run them through the x-ray. I was wearing my Let’s Watch Horror Movies shirt, and I was like, “Are you sure it wasn’t the chainsaw on my shirt that set it off?” but no one was amused by my joke 😅

We took the red eye to NYC and got there at five in the morning. We flew JetBlue Mint so we could comfortably get some shut-eye on our overnight flight.

Actual footage of us in first class:

Sidenote: IDK why it bothers me so much that Timotheé Chalamet is dating Kylie Jenner. That’s a straight up lie, I know exactly why it bothers me. I’ve loved everything I’ve ever seen Timotheé Chalamet in, and I can’t stand the Kardashians/Jenners. Plus, I was so annoyed at the Golden Globes, Kieran Culkin (who won best actor in a drama series for Succession) didn’t even have seats with his wife, while Kylie was sitting front and center at Timotheé’s table. Like who even are you? I’m such a hater 😅

While I was laying flat, I heard something fall and didn’t think anything of it till we were deboarding the plane, when I was looking for my phone and couldn’t find it. I had already put the seat back up and my phone was stuck between the seat and the mechanism that makes the seat fold into a bed. Needless to say, my screen was shattered when I was able to get it out 😅 That’s what I get for talking shit about Kylie Jenner LOL.

We ordered some night caps before snoozing on the plane. I got their signature cocktail (Mint Condition), while Pammie got a chamomile tea and a virgin bloody mary LOL. I’ve never had a bloody mary with no vodka before!

Home for the weekend (The Plaza)

Partly because we got 40,000 Southwest points for booking this hotel, but mostly because Macauley Culkin stayed here in Home Alone 2.

Me: How much for the Kevin McCallister suite?
Internet: Nearly five grand a night.
Me: I’ll just book the cheapest room they have available, thank yew.

This is like the first time I went to NYC twenty years ago and went to Supreme to get something for Julz, and was like, “How much for this Nike necklace?” (it was just a dunk on a silver ball chain) and the guy was like, “two fifty,” and I was like, “$2.50? I’ll take two!” and the guy was like, “two hundred fifty,” and I was like, “Oh, I’ll take none then.” 😅

I brought my Grimace Crocs I got for Christmas in case this hotel was too fancy 😅

Bagels for breakfast (@ Ess-A-Bagel)

We went here last time we were in NYC, and the bagels were sooo good. I also grabbed a bagel and iced coffee at Skyline Deli and Grill in Brooklyn, and it was just as good! New York really knows their shit when it comes to bagels.

“You brought your tarot cards, but you didn’t bring any winter clothes???”

I run hot, so I packed pretty light. I just brought 4 pairs of warm leggings, socks, a nice tank top blouse for Moulin Rouge, 3 days of t-shirts, a pair of boots, my winter coat with the faux-fur lined hood, a beanie and some gloves. It’s a good thing I packed light, because Pammie had to put some of her Harry Potter haul in my luggage going home.

This s’mores hot chocolate was everything the internet promised it would be (@ Glace)

We got there before all the kids got out of school, so there wasn’t much of a line yet. While we were waiting for a taxi, this kid walking by asks her dad, “Daddy, what are all these people waiting for?” and he was like, “They’re just a bunch of TikTokers waiting for hot chocolate.” 😂

La Summer (@ All’Antico Vinaio)

We invited our cousin from LA because she mentioned wanting to go to NY the last time she visited. This was the one place she wanted to go to, and they had a location right by our hotel. They had a pop-up at Mozza2Go in LA last year,  but sold out before she could get any. I’ve eaten at one of Nancy Silverton’s other restaurants, Pizzeria Mozza, and anything good enough for her is good enough for me! This italian sandwich shop def didn’t disappoint.

Toe pick ⛸️ (@ The Rink at Rockefeller Center)

The last couple times I’ve been in New York was during the summer and this rink closes in April. I’ve always wanted to go ice skating here! I was so scared to go ice skating because my balance has been off since the strokes. Apparently, your iPhone measures your walking steadiness now, and I recently got this notification that I’m a fall risk 😅 I held on to the wall the entire time, but I’m glad I went!

We hit up Grand Central Terminal, because there’s a food hall inside of it. I had a lobster roll and a mule from Luke’s Lobster. The lobster tastes so much more fresh when they don’t have to fly it to the west coast!

I wasn’t planning on going to Magnolia since I’ve been to the one in LA, but they had a location inside the food hall, so I had to get some banana pudding.

Spectacular, spectacular (@ Al Hirschfield Theatre)

Moulin Rouge is one of my favorite movies, and the Broadway musical was amazing! It easily tops Waitress as my favorite musical ever. When we were getting snacks before the show, we asked the guy at concessions if they had any real food because we hadn’t eaten yet, and he was like, “Sorry, we don’t. The hibachi’s getting installed tomorrow.” LOL.

If you need me, I’ll be at the Butterbeer Bar (@ Harry Potter NY)

Pammie was in heaven and spent hours at the Harry Potter store, while my cousin (who’s never seen a Harry Potter movie) and I drank butterbeer and ate butterbeer soft serve.

My favorite place to fake an orgasm (@ Katz’s Deli)

We had to go here after recently watching When Harry Met Sally in the theater. The pastrami sandwich was def orgasm-inducing, and so was the guy who helped us (S/O to Julian!) 😜

My sister fell in love with espresso martinis at the Starbucks Reserve Roastery we went to in Chicago (even though she doesn’t usually like coffee or vodka!), so when we found out there was a roastery in NYC, we had to go here (@ Starbucks Reserve Roastery)

We couldn’t go to NY without getting a quintessential black and white cookie and cheesecake from Junior’s.

When my sister’s husband found out we were going to NYC, he showed me this video where they try the world’s most expensive cereal from this bakery in Brooklyn.

They only make a limited amount of boxes and they sell out every morning, so we went there at an unholy hour and were the first people in line. I once stood in line in LA for 2 hours for Howlin’ Rays Hot Chicken the morning after I got absolutely trashed at a music festival, so this was nothing compared to that 😅 We got a box each, so it was worth it. I also got a raspberry almond croissant here that was *chef’s kiss*.

Coney Island closes the boardwalk and rides during the winter, but Nathan’s is still open! I had the best hot dog ever (although I was bummed I took that packet of relish out of my purse from the last time I ate a Costco hot dog LOL). I’ll def have to come back here during the summer to watch the hot dog eating contest live (I watch it on TV with bated breath every 4th of July).

Checked another one off my BBQ Bucket List (@ Hometown Bar-B-Que)

When planning my trip, I looked up BBQ in NYC and went to add this place in Brooklyn to my BBQ Bucket List and saw it was already on there!

It started snowing while we were there. BBQ and snow??? It doesn’t get more magical than that.

When I got off the plane when we arrived, I felt hot and nauseous so I sat down. I ended up having to run to the bathroom and blowing chunks all over the first stall. I’m sorry to the pissed cleaner that had to clean it all up 😅 Last night when I was in bed around midnight, I felt hot and nauseous again. The heat was cranked up in our hotel room because it was so cold outside, so I was sleeping in my underwear. I ran to the bathroom with no pants on and threw up all the BBQ I ate earlier. The only common denominator when I threw up Friday morning and Sunday night was that I had BBQ both days. Can I not eat BBQ anymore??? I was gonna smoke my first brisket next weekend for when the girls come over for my birthday, but now I’m scared to eat BBQ. Usually, if I get sick after eating something, I never eat it again (this is why I don’t eat strawberry ice cream or chicken fried steak LOL), but it’s BBQ! I can’t give that up…

We couldn’t go to NYC without getting updated photos of our auras taken in Chinatown.

I once went to a festival in LA where they were charging triple the price to photograph your aura. Another vendor at the same festival gave me a paper boba straw when I ordered a drink! Fucking LA 😅 I used to keep a box of plastic straws in the trunk of my car for when Nori and I would go to Starbucks on our lunch break because plastic is banned in Manhattan Beach. I can’t with the paper straws! (Calm down, I recycle. Get off me).

Last meal in NYC (@ Artichoke Basille’s Pizza)

I would eat pizza every day if I could, and my favorite style is New York (I love a thin crust, none of that Chicago deep-dish bullshit). I love that there’s pizzerias on every corner and they all taste good!

The last time we flew home from NYC, Pammie watched Harry Potter, while I watched Homicide for the Holidays. This time, she watched another Harry Potter movie while I watched true crime on the ID channel. We haven’t changed.

I saw so many Christmas trees dumped on the side of the street. The holidays and my birthday are officially over, and they were spectacular ❤️

Shi comin’ in hot with the tea! I love chisme on any given day, but especially on my birthday 😆

It’s officially been a year since I checked into the hospital after the incident 😅 Life took a 180 after the pandemic, and another 180 after having the strokes, so I’ve done a complete 360 and am back to where I started 😆 So grateful to still be here today and celebrate with this chocolate vanilla swirl pudding snack (yes, I instacarted this jello, and yes, it’s sugar-free).

Sidenote: Adan Canto, who played Arman Morales on The Cleaning Lady, passed away yesterday after a private battle with cancer 💔 I don’t usually get choked up about celebrities dying (unless it’s Paul Walker, Robin Williams, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Anthony Bourdain, Kobe… ok, maybe I do). I can’t believe he’s gone. He was my age. Life is short. Give your loved ones a big hug today…

Me checking the weather before my trip:

Smoked wings, anyone???

I smoked them and then air-fried them so they were extra crispy. It smells like BBQ up in this bitch. This is what I imagine heaven smells like. I’ll request BBQ for my last meal in case I’m not headed there 😅

Pammie works out of her bedroom, so she got this Harry Potter door hanger so her husband doesn’t ask her if she wants to smoke while she’s on a zoom call, and I don’t bust in with no pants on to look out her window and see if my favorite dog, Lucille, is sunbathing on the balcony next door 😅

My parents are on their way to a cruise and upgraded their flight there to premium economy. Didn’t know it came with champagne! My sister helped them book their flights, so not sure if this is like the time she got me a plane ticket to meet her in Chicago, and the flight attendant came by with a cheese plate and I was like, “I didn’t order that,” and she was like, “Pamela pre-ordered it.” And I was like, “Oh, okay!” While I was eating my wedge of brie, the flight attendant came by again with a bottle of champagne and was like, “She ordered this, too!” My aisle mates were so jealous. It was a morning flight, but I still drank the whole bottle of champagne and slept the rest of the plane ride from LAX to O’Hare 😅

I’ve only ever flown first class on my sister’s dime. She’s bougie and likes to travel in style. If I’m booking it, I’m like uhhh how many Southwest points do I have? 😅 When Shi found out we were going to New York for my birthday, she was like, “How much are flights right now?” and I was like, “Uhh IDK, Pammie bought them.” And she looks over at my sister, and Pammie was like, “We’re flying first class, so…” and Shi was like, “Oh, my bad!” And this was right after my sister explained that all her Harry Potter ornaments were spotless because Leticia the housekeeper dusted them LOL. In her defense, she hosted Christmas, so that’s why she had Leticia clean the house. She was referred to her by two of our other friends who also use Leticia to clean their houses. Coincidentally, we also get waxed by the same person. If you don’t share a housekeeper and a Brazilian waxer, are you even friends??? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyone knows I love miniature things, so for Christmas my dad’s sister sent me The World’s Smallest Battleship, Jenga and Lava Lamp. I’m also clumsy as fuck, so I dropped them all on my way to my room. Pammie was like, “Did you pick everything up? You don’t want to accidentally step on a tiny battleship!” And guess what I stepped on barefoot today??? I was like, “WHAT THE FUCK!” and I looked down and there it was… the world’s smallest battleship.

Oh, it’s personal.

I’m vanilla, baby
I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby

File under: Shit I get asked to do because I know Photoshop.

Obviously a dude had the championship ring made since it says, “The Motherfucking king of fantasy football,” even though the ring was made after two girls joined the league (my sister and my ex’s wife—not me, I don’t know anything about football), and Pammie won last year!

I’m not really into designer purses, but I’ve been eyeballing this minimalist Gucci bag for years now, so I just bit the bullet and bought it. Should I also get the matching wallet or is my Ikea coin purse okay? 😆

I’m back from vacay and my boss took an extra week off. I’m the most senior designer after the web director (my 11-year work anniversary is tomorrow!), so I’ve been telling everyone I’m Gaye this week 😆

Last bake of 2023 ✌🏼 I hate actual ginger, but I love gingerbread anything. I’ve been known to eat a whole sleeve of ginger snaps in bed. If there were any gingerbread crinkle cookies left, I would’ve taken them to bed with me.

My relatives requested that I make my copycat lettuce wraps from P.F. Chang’s in case this party wasn’t Asian enough.

We left the party early because we were tired by 9:30. My aunt was like, “You’re going already? You’re leaving the lettuce wraps, right?” 😆

I’m not gonna make it to midnight, guys. Happy new year from this old broad 👵🏻

My cousin who lives by me in LA is down here for a country music festival this weekend LOL, so we treated her to a proper burrito at Lolita’s, followed by some sweets at Pop Pie, a showing of one of my favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally, at Angelika, and some homemade pizza.

One of my favorite pies is the Bee Sting from Roberta’s in Brooklyn. It’s topped with spicy soppressata, and my cousin doesn’t eat pork, so I had this baby all to myself.

At the end of the movie, the guy sitting behind us was like, “I genuinely enjoyed watching you guys enjoy the movie!” We couldn’t stop laughing during the part where Billy Crystal sleeps with Meg Ryan and he’s laying there afterwards. He was in the same position my cousin’s waxer told her to get in during her last Brazilian with one leg hanging off the bed, and she had just told us this story LOL.

She’s my concert buddy in LA, always down to see whoever I want (I took her to her first Tame Impala, Beyoncé, Sylvan Esso, and Hozier concerts, among others) and she loves my chicken adobo (my sister and her husband said it was too salty, and it still keeps me up at night). We had reservations to go to Pizzeria Bianco in DTLA for my birthday earlier this year, and I texted her and was like, “I don’t think I can make it. I had a stroke and I’m in the hospital.” 😅 She’s also my ice skating partner, and we usually skate outside the Staples Center Crypto.com when they set up the rink for the holidays. Ahh, I miss LA. I never thought we’d be close when we were kids. We used to live on the same street, but then her mom (my dad’s little sister) died when she and her siblings were still young, and they moved to LA where their dad lived. Who knew I’d end up in LA???

My sister parked my car in guest parking in front of the community pool earlier yesterday afternoon so the girls could park in the garage when they came over. My sister’s husband came home around 9:30pm and the girls were still here, so he parked in guest parking as well. When they went to move the cars back after the girls left around 11:30pm, both cars were gone. It turns out you need to have a permit to park in guest parking from 10pm-6am, so they both were towed 🙄 Christine graciously offered to take us to the tow yard when they opened at an unholy hour this morning, but we had to pay $300 each to get our cars! I thought my days of parking tickets were over (one weekend, I got a ticket in LA, a ticket in OC, and a ticket in SD!), but I guess I thought wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Oh well, at least I was up early enough for Mcdonald’s breakfast 😆

I got my sister’s husband a Ninja Woodfire 8-in-1 Outdoor Oven for Christmas, partly because it gets hot enough to make pizzas, but mostly because it’s also a smoker and I love me some smoked meats.

For Pammie’s birthday, the girls got together for a pizza party on her rooftop. The oven works sooo well and fast. It cooked the pizzas faster than we could make them!

Chel brought us dick chips! They were salty and meaty with a vinegar backnote 😆

What should we make next? These smoked wings I once had at Alpine Beer Company that I still have dreams about? An entire smoked brisket??? 😜

As I was frosting my cinnamon rolls this morning, I could hear my sister on her 9am zoom call. I don’t remember the last time I had a zoom call or meeting. As long as I turn in my work on time, my boss doesn’t bother me. My coworkers will message me on slack till no end, but usually just to ask if I have a font or what I’m doing for my birthday LOL. I love working from home ♥️

Prepping for my birthday weekend 🎥✌🏼

Days off secured, flight and hotel booked ✔️

I brought down my projector the last time I was at my apartment, but there’s barely any blank walls in this big ass house, so I had to set up my screen on the 4th floor 😅 My sister’s husband uses that floor as his mancave (he keeps his boxes of baseball cards up there and it opens up to the rooftop where he smokes and grills), so I’m hardly ever up there, but what are you gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think miniature versions of things are the cutest, so I made these adorable mini chicken and waffles. I just bought some Eggo Minis, a tray of Chick-Fil-A Nuggets, these cocktail picks, and served it with some quality maple syrup. So cute!

My chocolate bread pudding fixes things in the universe.

My charcuterie boards always have a theme 🎄

I made my banana nut bread last Thanksgiving and was asked multiple times where I bought it! Now I have to make it for every family party.

Is it even an Asian party if you don’t play games for money??? I learned that my cousin’s husband moves really slow after eating edibles and I suck at flip cup when I’m completely sober 😅

I was too busy taking pictures of my food to take any pictures of myself, but I wore this cute ass Christmas light strand sequin sweater dress that was festive as fuck 🎄

I’m officially off of work till New Year’s, so I’ll just be here till then ✌🏼

One Christmas, my aunt texted the whole family and was like, “If you’re married or over the age of 25, you will not be getting a gift this year.” I was like, “So not only am I old and single, I also won’t be getting presents this Christmas???” 🤣 My mom’s sisters and grandma used to give all the kids gifts and with all the kids having their own kids, it was getting to be a lot.

I usually don’t give gifts to all my cousins and their kids (there’s over 20 of those little fuckers!), but with my health scare this year, and all the love and support I’ve received, I thought why not???

I hardly use my cricut the rest of the year, but I bust that shit out for Christmas.

It was already a bitch to weed out all the letters before the strokes, but it was even tougher after. The strokes made my hands weaker and shakier, so it took me longer than necessary to weed all the letters. I also need more help opening jars. I used to have beautiful penmanship, but now I try to print everything I can on my computer. I only write my rent checks and sign restaurant receipts 😅 I also used to have a nice singing voice (I was in advanced choir in high school—I have the sequin dresses and nude character shoes to prove it), but after the strokes, I kinda sound like Marge Simpson 😅 I was telling the girls this story about this Manhattan Beach woman who had Alzeimer’s that I used to see missing flyers for. She went to LACMA with her husband, used the bathroom and then wandered off. I was like, “And years later, they found her BONES!” and Shi was like, “Your voice makes your stories sound 100x scarier!” 😅

That’s a wrap on 2023!

Will this be like that time we had a hurricane and people brought in their patio furniture for nothing???

She’s not the first person to tell me this. My other friend said the same thing when she was telling me her boyfriend doesn’t make her laugh 😂 I could never be with someone who doesn’t make me laugh!