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Back to the coal mines.
Friday, October 17, 2003

Last night I had a craving for chocolate parfait nips haha. Normally, I’d go to Albertson’s to pick some up, but I wanted to avoid the 50+ grocery strikers picketing in front of the supermarket near my house. Just driving through the crowd was hard. I was at a stop sign in the parking lot and one of the strikers (some teenager) stood in front of my car holding his sign and started FREAKING my car for a good minute. I was like.. UHH. HI. PLEASE STOP DANCING WITH MY CAR SO I CAN GET SOME GODDAMN NIPS! Haha. I went to Rite Aid instead. If he was doing this to my CAR, who knew what this kid would try to do to me if I got OUT of the car haha. I haven’t been to the grocery store since the strike started… Hey! I’m EMPLOYED again. I didn’t work all summer since I’m not allowed to gross that much money (so I can get tuition assistance). I haven’t worked since JUNE. Geez… I don’t think I remember how to work. Customers? What are those? Ha. Of course I’ll remember that shit. I’ve been there for like two years. I get to work with Sharon again! YAYE! I miss that crazy girl. Too bad Kit got another job working for Chinaberry (you know you wanna work at Red Envelope with me again!). I’m gonna be so busy working and going to school full-time. I like being busy, though. I hate having too much time on my hands. I became SUPER lazy over the summer… Today, I just did my laundry and vegged at home. Tomorrow Ed is going to install the new deck he bought me! No more wack ass deck and CD changer that only works when it feels like it. Haha. This is what Ed told me when he gave me that ghetto CD changer: “Hey, this was TOP OF THE LINE… ten years ago!” LOL. The new deck doesn’t have a CD changer, but at least I won’t have to worry about not putting a CD in the #1 slot because the #1 button on the deck doesn’t work… or not putting a CD in the #5 slot because if it plays, it’ll get stuck… and not being able to see what track number is playing since the backlight stopped working… and so on and so forth haha. Thanks, buttface. 😉

The old stink eye.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003

I got a B f*ckin MINUS on my graphic design project. WTF. Mine was voted one of the TOP 3 designs in the class and I got a B f*ckin minus. I worked so damn hard on that stupid logo, too. My teacher told me that I have a “fantastic designing style” but she didn’t like how I didn’t incorporate the beach “vibe” as she had suggested (since it’s a burger joint at the BEACH). She didn’t like how I barely changed the logo from the original design I drafted. It’s not my fault that it doesn’t take me 50 billion tries to make a damn good logo! When our logos got critiqued, my classmate Josette said that she wouldn’t change a thing on my logo. Nobody gave me any negative criticism, and I was happy with the way it looked. My teacher says that I can do better. WTF. I know she’s saying that I’m not working up to my full potential. Some people had some really crappy logos, and just because they submitted x amount of different layouts, they got A’s on their projects. That’s bullshit! They all got suggestions from other classmates on how they could improve their logo, but they didn’t tell me to change anything on mine. What else could I have incorporated into that logo? PLEASE INFORM ME, MRS. GRAPHIC DESIGN EXPERT! There was no set amount of layouts we were supposed to turn in, so I think I was unfairly docked a shitload of points! After I got my packet back and saw my grade, I was in a pretty crummy mood. I gave my teacher the old stink eye throughout the remainder of the class, but I doubt she noticed. She was too preoccupied plotting to fail me.

Shitular and smelly kids.
Monday, October 13, 2003

My sleeping pattern resembles that of a graveyard shift employee… except I don’t work the graveyard shift. I don’t work PERIOD. I can’t sleep at a decent hour, because I wake up so late in the afternoon. The only time I wake up before noon is when I’m FORCED to (i.e. on Mondays and Wednesdays because I have school). Otherwise, I sleep no earlier than three in the morning, and I wake up around one, two, or three in the afternoon. At first I thought it was insomnia… but insomnia is characterized as an inability to sleep. I don’t have trouble sleeping. Once I fall asleep, I stay asleep for like ten hours. It’s falling asleep that I have a problem with… and it’s because I wake up hella late… and I wake up hella late because I sleep hella late… it’s a vicious cycle. I wake up around 7:30 on school days. Sheena told me that I should set my alarm to wake up at 7:30 (JED time!) every morning (no matter what time I end up falling asleep), so I’ll get used to getting up early on a regular basis. I told her she’s smoking crack if she thinks I’m gonna wake up that early when I don’t have to… but I suppose it’ll help me go back to a semi-normal sleeping pattern so I’ll try it… but if you see up that early on a non-school day and I’m one cranky b*tch, then you know who to blame 🙂 Anyway, let me tell you about my weekend. As all of you Sh*tular (a.k.a Cingular) customers are aware of, Sh*tular’s service was down the entire second half of Saturday. WACK. We couldn’t receive/make outgoing calls or send/receive text messages. I needed to contact Michelle and Edgar, because we were supposed to go to the Tsunami Bomb show that night. Unfortunately, we ALL have Sh*tular so we couldn’t get a hold of each other. Ed was at work and I didn’t know Michelle’s new house number since she moved down south. It was less than half an hour till the show was supposed to start and Michelle had all of our tickets and Ed wasn’t home yet. Luckily, I was still at home when Michelle called and we finally arranged to meet up and take one car. You don’t realize how much you depend on your cell phone until your provider decides to screw you in the butt and take away your night and weekend minutes. EAT MY BUTT, CINGULAR. I want to switch services. I’ve had this service provider for too damn long… since my Allstate days! Damn… At least three years now. Please help me decide which company to switch to by participating in my random poll at the bottom of this page. Thanks! Anyway, the Tsunami Bomb show was the shizneeto BAM. I want to *be* Agent M. They didn’t perform two of my faves (“Lemonade” and “Mushy Love Song”), but they ROCKED nonetheless. During their FIRST song, some kid chucked his FULL bottled water onto the stage and hit Agent M in the head! She took it like a champ, though. Geez. Rude ass motherf*ckers. If I were Tsunami Bomb, I’d stop after the song and say, “I hope you kids enjoyed the show because it’s OVER, punks!” This dope band called Strike Anywhere opened for them. If you like Rage Against the Machine, you should definitely check them out. It was my first show at Soma and I’m not too fond of that venue. I’d much rather see a show at Canes. Soma is like a warehouse. There’s no ventilation. The sound quality ranges from alright to poor… especially with the loud punk bands. I lost the hearing in my right ear the whole night. It’s really, really, really LOUD, but you can barely make out what the people are singing or saying, especially if you don’t know the lyrics to their song. It was just a deafening experience. Back to the no ventilation, there were SMELLY kids there. I just tried to make it through the show without passing out from the pubescent fumes. This teenage couple in front of me proceeded to swap spit during most of the show. If it wasn’t the deodorant-free kids that were making me nauseous, it was that couple. I’ll admit, I had my fair share of public make out sessions when I was sixteen, but five years later, that shit only happens behind closed doors. At Soma, there was this HUGE mosh pit… HUGE. I’ve never seen one so big before at any venue I’ve been to. At one point this crowd next to us was shoving us to the side and Ed was getting PISSED. LOL. This guy in particular wouldn’t quit bumping into us, so Ed grabbed him by the neck and we remained untouched for the rest of the show haha. The next show I’m going to is the Saves the Day / Taking Back Sunday show at SOMA again… not happy about the venue, but VERY happy about the bands. It should be mellow yellow, so I doubt we’ll have mosh pit or sound problems. Damn, THREE shows in ONE month? Bedhead Ed is really aiming to please 🙂 Today, he bought me Panda Express and Jamba Juice, so I went to his house instead of vegging at home like I had originally planned. Vu, Tuan, Jay and Beejaye were kickin it there and Sheenie came by later so I could straighten her hair. We just chilled till around midnight, then I headed home. It’s now five in the morning… looks like I won’t be sleeping till after school.

Tribute bands and alleged sex scenes.
Saturday, October 11, 2003

Navy Exchange. Jamba Juice. Homework. Hot pockets. Nap. These are the things my Friday consisted of. This cashier at Grossmont’s Jamba Juice whose name tag read “AsHLeY G” looked EXACTLY like Lizzie McGuire’s best friend with the bangs and everything. I would have taken a picture of her so I could show you guys, but I didn’t want her to think I was a LOSER for knowing what Lizzie McGuire’s best friend looks like. Haha. I noticed her when I first walked in, but Ed pointed it out because he’s apparently an avid fan of Hilary Duff. Ed went to TJ with his Audio Excellence boyfriends (I live less than half an hour away from TJ, and I’ve never been there, nor have I ever had the desire to go there… no matter how appealing they made it look on The O.C.). Sheen went to a BAR (I knew it! Haha). Jay and Beejaye watched a movie. My sister didn’t come down to SD this weekend. It was a lazy day. I just went online and talked to Meehchelle about the Tsunami Bomb show we’re going to tomorrow (f*ck yeah!). She wants to be up front at the show, but I’m a little weary about that. I got THRASHED at the Hoobastank concert when I was up front. I don’t think the Tsunami Bomb fans are quite as rowdy, but we’ll see. I don’t want to get dry humped again. Meehchelle cracks me up! We were talking about how Cursor (or Happy Hour as they once were called) is a “tribute” band, if you will. I heard that they have a show coming up at Soma. I remember watching them perform back in the day at SAMAHAN! Hahaha. All I remembered was that they covered Third Eye Blind songs. Doot-doot-doot. Doot-doo-doot-doo. We were talking about how WE could be in a “tribute” band if we wanted to. I’m so down to go to a karaoke bar and sing in front of strangers. I need some liquid courage, though! Haha. Buy me some Chambord and I’ll be good to go! I’m excited about CHEL’S birthday bash next weekend. I miss those girls. It’s always nice to be around the people you grew up with… Hmm what did I do yesterday? Sheen and I drove around the coast for a while just “following the moon.” That’s what we do when we don’t know where to go, but we don’t want to go home. We ate at CONCHING’S because we were both craving some good old Filipino food. We went back to her house and baked some chocolate chip cookies. I’ve never baked anything from scratch before and now I know why. It’s so much easier to buy the pre-packaged pre-cut frozen Pillsbury cookies than measure ingredients and BLEND things together haha. I got batter all over me and Sheen kept making fun of my ass. We were missing eggs so we had to go to AM/PM and buy some. Sheen made me drive back to her house in her car (to my horror!). Even though I know how to drive a stick-shift (thanks to Gerald), I’m DEATHLY afraid of driving a stick-shift. I can’t relax. I panic. I have an anxiety attack. I’m afraid I’ll crash their car. Or kill someone because I forgot how to stop the car. I barely pause at stop signs, because I’m scared the car will stall on me and the people behind me will honk at me and point at me and laugh at me and I’ll cry and I won’t be able to see the road because my glasses will be fogged up. We got back to her house in one piece, though. I may have burned her clutch a little. Ha. We watched the special edition Lion King movie that Jigga Jay gave her for her birthday and searched for the overrated “SEX” scene where adult Simba plops down on a cliff and the leaves and dust particles float into the air and supposedly spell out “SEX.” “Supposedly” is right. We paused that shit and could barely make out the ALLEGED word. Sheen thought her DVD was broken, because the games were f*cking up on her when she tried to play them the other day, but I played them and they worked. I think Sheen’s head is broken. LOL. That always seems to happen… Something keeps f*cking up on you, and when you tell other people or try to get it fixed, it works all of a sudden. Maybe inanimate objects have a mind of their own.

Drunken phone calls and irrational, psychotic moments.
Thursday, October 9, 2003

Yesterday we celebrated Sheenie’s 21st birthday! Finally. I’ve been waiting almost a year for this girl to turn 21 haha. Sheena, Ed, Jay, Gerald, Shell, Jose, Sandy, Brad, Jeni, Sheen’s mom and I ate at T.G.I. Fridays, and then we headed over to P.B. Bar & Grill. I’ve only been there on Thursdays, so there was definitely a different crowd there (like 99.9% white people… ain’t no thang! Sheen’s half Irish. Haha). Shell, Jay, Ed and I got there earlier than the rest of them, so we decided to hit up the dance floor, and Jay busted some moves I’ve never seen before HAHA. There was this Greekish/Chaldean/Mexican-looking guy who was dancing all craaaazy by himself on the top level. At first, people were cheering him on… then people just started making fun of him. It was sad, really. I felt sorry for him. He was in his mid-to-late thirties, went to a club by himself, got ridiculed by youngsters and probably went home to his empty apartment and stray cats. I introduced Shell to the wonders of the CHAMBORD SOUR and I had a few myself. I would have had one or two or SIX more, but all I had left over from dinner was $10. BOO. Ed’s always telling me to slow down. I can’t help but chug those drinks when they taste like Kool Aid (and I ♥ Kool Aid!). Damn, you have to be a baller to get faded on b*tch drinks when they’re $6 each, and you need at least five to f*ck you up. That’s why we should have some pre-fade action BEFORE going clubbin! There’s nothing wrong with drinking at home. Haha. I finally found Sheen after half an hour and she had two Coronas in her hand. This girl drinks beer and belches louder than any guy I know. Like Ed said, “All hell will break loose now that she’s 21.” I won’t have to call her to see where she’s at, because I’ll already know that she’s getting wasted at some bar. I don’t have the money for that kind of lifestyle, but I’ll be your designated driver if you need me, girl! You’re probably a better driver drunk than I am sober, though. HEHE. Anyone will tell you that! Someone PLEASE take her cell phone away so she doesn’t make anymore drunken phone calls to me at two in the morning! Ha.

Anyway, we left PB around midnight and I was disturbed by something someone told me… pretty upset actually. I’ve given it time to digest, so I’m over it now. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong. I don’t use this site as an agent for shit talking. I censor myself A LOT on here. There are many times that I’m hella bothered by certain issues, but I won’t talk about them on here, because I know that a lot of the people who I know personally read this. I know some things that I post will piss off my friends, so some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes I write things clearly out of anger and frustration, and I hope people don’t let these irrational, psychotic moments define me as a person… (especially when I’m talking about relationship issues. Geez. Everyone has drama with their significant other). This is the place where I vent. This is the place where I get it all out so I’m not crying from the frustration of it all. This is MY release. Sometimes the fine line between venting and airing my dirty laundry becomes indistinct. That may bother some people, so I’ll be a little bit more selective about what I post on here, because who knows who’s really reading this shit?

I love Edgar (and Costco).
Tuesday, October 7, 2003

Another Monday. Another loooong day at school. I had a pretty kick back weekend after Roxy’s birthday shindig on Friday. On Saturday, I just stayed home with my family, did my sister’s laundry since she always helps me out and caught up on some homework. My sister and I went to Grossmont for some refreshments that night. I was about to cry, because Jamba Juice’s seasonal Pineappalooza was no longer in season! They replaced it with some Bluetopia shit. I asked the girl if she could still make it, and she did. Cool beans. I almost shed a tear. We went to Ed’s house afterwards to eat dinner since Shell and Joey brought the puppies down. Ed was only there for a little bit since he was helping his Audio Excellence boyfriends prepare the cars at Kenny’s house for the (wacktabulous) show on Sunday. My sister and I just vegged out on Sunday. I finally got the energy to take a shower around 5 o’clock. I decided to stop by the show for a little bit, then go home and go out to dinner with my family for my dad’s birthday. By the time I got to the show, they weren’t selling tickets anymore, and Ed couldn’t get me in because they didn’t have wristbands. I was furious. If there’s anything I hate, it’s wasting gas. I drove all the way down south just to turn around and drive home. Wack. Ed and I got into this HUGE argument on the phone, because I was mad that he didn’t call me to tell me that I couldn’t get in for free, because if I knew that, I *never* would have gone. I’m not gonna pay to see Ed’s car. Kenny’s car. The twins’ car. I see those cars everyday for free. Then he was getting mad because I was getting mad. He wasn’t sure if I was coming since it was getting late already, so he didn’t call. It was just STUPID. My sister called me on my way home and calmed me down a bit. Then I talked to Ed again after that and we were cool again. Ha. It was dumb. Sorry I’ve been so moody, POOPOO. I can never stay mad at Ed. He’s my weakness. I don’t know what it is about him. He’s my special Ed. I love him almost as much as I love sandwiches. ALMOST. This morning between classes, Ed and I went to drop off a baking pan at his grandma’s house and no one was there to receive it. Then we went Costco to pick up some film and it had already been picked up by his parents. What’s going on? We ate some COSTCO pizza (yeah, baby!) and then I went back to school and he went to work. Now I’m home waiting for my next class with absolutely nothing to do… except burn Jay’s CDs… work on The SpecialGuest site… and eat my chicken noodle soup that’s been sitting in the microwave since I got home from school… two hours ago.

Chambord Sours, Foxy Roxy and Drunken Pam
Saturday, October 4, 2003

I wish I had a camera last night! We went out for Roxy’s birthday and I had SO much fun! I went to The Strip Club downtown for dinner with Shi, Rox, Chel, Antho, Kristine, Edward, Glenn and their friends Eileen and Ginger. That place is f*ckin COOL. It’s a steakhouse where you cook your own steak on the grills that they have set up around the restaurant. Too yummy. Afterwards, we hit up Martini Ranch to get our fade on and shake our butts. I only had one drink, because I had to drive since my sister was getting f*cked up all night on Chambord Sours haha. That drink is DAMN GOOD (thanks, Shi!). Ed met us up at Martini since he went to Buca di Beppo for Q’s dinner (happy birthday, Gerald!). It was definitely a different crowd, since I’ve really only been clubbin in PB. They were playing hip hop when we got there, but soon they went to ooooold school rap and then TECHNO and I *hate* techno music (as you can see in my hate list). Antho showed us his moves and I couldn’t stop laughing. We chilled outside and just caught up with each other’s lives. Chel, Rox, Shi, and my sister are my GIRLS, dude. It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out and it felt like no time had passed since we had last seen each other. Shi and Chel are CRAZY! Ed was like, “Whooooaa, take it down a notch!” Haha. Now he sees where I get my loudness from… and you call *me* “mega?” You obviously haven’t met the Tejidor girls haha. They’re crazy without the alcohol. I’m skerd to see them drunk off their asses! Roxy decided to go to the Rox afterwards, but the rest of us were partied out. We all went our separate ways, and my sister, Ed and I decided to hit up D&B’s for Q’s after-dinner thing. It was almost closing time once we got there, so we just chilled at the bar for a little bit. I met DRUNK ASS GRACE for the first time haha. She’s cool beans. My sister, Beejaye and I went to Jay’s house afterwards and we just talked about STUPID GIRLS (don’t worry about *HER* Beejaye!) and watched the food channel HEHE. A good time was had by all. I love hanging out with old friends 🙂 Oh, I forgot to write about Thursday. We just went to Olive Garden near the Sports Arena for Joey’s birthday. Our waitress, Rose, was the shit. ROSE, YOU ROCK!!! (as if she’ll ever read this, but I’ll still give her props).

Rooney rocks my socks!
Wednesday, October 1, 2003

Last night I went to the ROONEY show at Canes with Bedhead Ed and had an awesome time! I’ve wanted to see them live for a while now. I missed them at both Lollapalooza and X-Fest. We went in through the 21+ entrance and there was barely anyone there since it was a 16+ show. I started to freak out because ROONEY was sitting in a booth eating dinner. Edgar and I hung out for a while to see if I could work up the nerve to go talk to them, but I was scared and I didn’t want to bother them while they were eating. We sat on the top level where the stairs are so we would have a better view and could take good pictures. We’ve seen shows at Canes before, so we learned that upstairs is the best place to be. Downstairs, your view might be obstructed by some freakishly tall person or some beezie sitting on the ledge in front of you with her chones peeking out of her Forever 21 jeans (remember HER, Rowell? Haha). Palo Alto performed first. The lead singer had an *amazing* voice. He kinda sounded like Bono. The Sounds were next and they had SO much energy. They’re a female-fronted European new wave punk band. ROONEY came on last and they were FUCKING AWESOME! Robert Carmine has tons of energy, too. Their sound is old school like the Beatles and that’s why I like them so much. I can’t wait to see Tsunami Bomb next at Soma 🙂

Change is the devil.
Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I feel SO much better. After venting, I went to my graphic design class and had a huge smile on my face because we critiqued our logos today. Everyone thought mine was fucking awesome! There were some REALLY horrible ones, though. We had to pick any local place that isn’t a nationwide chain and create a logo for them. I chose Hodads (a YUMMY burger joint in Ocean Beach). Arlene introduced me to the wonder that is Hodads last year, and Sheen and I go whenever we want some good eats and huge chocolate malts! After school, I was stuck behind this Forerunner the entire drive home and he left his blinker on THE ENTIRE DRIVE HOME. I was so irritated by that little blinking light. I didn’t even notice Jay and Rome driving behind me and we take the same route home! Ha, ha. He called me when he got home because he had read my previous entry. He was like, “Hey, Mayan, are you okay?” and I was like, “Yeah, I’m good,” and he was like, “NO YOU’RE NOT. I SAW YOUR WEBSITE!” Ha, ha. Even though I was really okay by then, his concern for me made me feel pretty good. A few hours later, Jake calls me out of no where to tell me that he saw my senior page in the yearbook for the first time the other day (from over three years ago!) and he thought it was really cool that I put his and Jessica’s pictures in there. Of course I did! Gotta include all the homies, YO. I get sad looking at all those pictures from high school. I always knew I would look back on the tears and laugh, but I never thought I’d look back on the laughs and cry. It’s very true. You don’t realize how good your life is until it’s all gone to shit. I miss my high school friends. We all lead such different lives now. It’s been forever since I’ve seen a lot of them, but I know once we hang out it’ll feel just like old times… and that feels pretty damn good. Change is the devil. I wish some things would stay the same forever… I have TONS of things to look forward to… ROONEY with Ed tomorrow, Joey’s birthday on Thursday, dinner and clubbin’ for Roxy’s birthday on Friday, Ed’s first show on Sunday, Sheen’s birthday next Tuesday, my dad’s birthday next Wednesday… I could go on and on and on. But I won’t. Because I’m sleepy. I’ll let you know how Rooney sounds live next time 🙂

Long time no see.
Sunday, September 28, 2003

Yesterday, Nikko and Jessica came down from Carson. Ed was gonna tint Nikko’s windows and install his audio shit. Even when my boyfriend has a day off from work (he’s an installer at Audio Excellence), he’s STILL working on cars. Cars, cars, cars. BLEH. It drives me crazy sometimes… makes me want to hammer a nail into my head. I don’t really share his interest in cars. Sure, I’ll go with him to the car shows (especially if he’s in it). I’ll go with him to Qualcomm or Carlsbad when his friends are racing. I’ll go with him all the way up near Santa Barbara to go to Bimmerfest. I’ll go with him to the drift shows in L.A… I just enjoy being with him. I don’t know what it is. I just feel better when he’s near me. Sheen, Jay and I ended up going to La Jolla to visit Sheryll and buy some goodies for our hair from Joey’s salon. I used them today and might I add that my hair looks fabulous right now. Ha, ha. It’s shiny like a pony. We went to Joey’s house afterwards and ate sloppy joes. Mmmmm. We saw Sheryll’s new doggie, Winnie. She’s a mini dachshund and is soooo cute and sooo small. She’s munchkin’s new lady friend and they plan on breeding them in a year or two. I think my sister’s gonna get one of their babies. I would much rather have a bulldog, but it would be cool to have a little wiener dog running around, too. Gerald and Ed met up with us later and I guess they were both exhausted because they fell asleep at Joey’s. So much for hanging out. Right now I’m waiting for Sheen to be done getting her pedicure. I gave myself a pedicure earlier today and it was about damn time. We were gonna hit up Bonita Fest, but Ed works on the street the festival/parade was on and he said it was wacktabulous. I don’t know what we’re gonna do yet, but hopefully it involves alcoholic beverages.

I think I’ve got the black lung, pop.
Thursday, September 25, 2003

I’m on my funky three hour break between classes right now. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been to school. I missed the last two days because I’ve been sick. I’m STILL sick. But I only have classes two days a week, so missing two classes is missing a lot… so I went to class today and spread my germs all over Grossmont and Cuyamaca. I’m trying to download a song off of Kazaa so I can make a ringtone for my pal, Zee, but my MOM is downloading like TEN freakin songs (on our slowpoke 56k modem!). Who taught her how to use this thing? Ha. She downloads all these songs and burns CDs and even makes labels for them. I remember the good old days when my dad didn’t even know how to turn on the computer. I don’t think this whole lawsuit deal is freaking my mom out like it should be. She’s the downloading QUEEN. I hope the RIAA isn’t reading this shit. Ha, ha. Anyways, it’s Wednesday and I threw up in the shower again this morning… just like last Wednesday. What’s going on with me throwing up in the shower on Wednesdays? Wack. I *hate* throwing up. I mean, no one LIKES throwing up… but I really hate it. Kinda like I hate strawberry ice cream. BLEH. I don’t think anything’s wrong with me, though (physically I mean. Mentally? Perhaps.). I asked Edgar if he thought I had pneumonia. Usually when I’m sick, I have a stuffy nose and itchy throat. I hardly ever have coughing fits. This time I don’t have a stuffy nose or an itchy throat. I just have this constant headache and I’m coughing up mountains of phlegm (GROSS!). The common symptoms of pneumonia are a cough with phlegm, fever, chills, chest pain and breathlessness… so Ed doesn’t think I have pneumonia. Sheen thinks I have SARS. Pneumonia can be caused by the inhalation of substances into the lungs such as caustic chemicals, food or VOMIT. This all started when I threw up last Wednesday. HMM. I’ll give it another week before I see a doctor. Maybe I’m just scaring myself. When my cousin was getting her bachelors in public health, she always thought she had the diseases she was studying. This girl cracks me up! She was like… “I think I have AIDS! Look at my tongue… look at the bumps! It’s one of the symptoms!” and she was SERIOUS. She is so crazy. Okay it’s time to go back to school again, so I’ll talk to you freaks later.

Sick
Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Bedhead Ed is SICK. Pobresito… I went to Jamba Juice and got him a Coldbuster to bust his cold. I’ve been sick since last Wednesday and I can’t help but feel a little responsible for making him sick, too. I hope I didn’t make Sheen sick. She’s going to KILL me. Haha. So how was YOUR weekend? Mine was alright. On Friday, I hung out with Jigga Jay man. I was supposed to go to his house and eat cold pizza and make a pizookie, but my ass didn’t wake up till three in the afternoon! Being sick makes me SUPER lazy. I normally wake up by at least TWO when I don’t have class 🙂 We ended up going to Seaport to drop off Charlene’s digicam and some lunch. Lucky ass Jay gets unemployment now, so we decided to hit up Fashion and buy something frivolous… like a trucker hat with our names on it. Ha, ha. He just ended up buying something for his friend’s birthday that night. We eventually parted ways so he could get his groove on at PB Bar & Grill and I could have a movie night with Ed and Meehchelle. We watched “Once Upon a Time in Mexico.” It was alright. I think I would’ve liked “Anything Else” better. Maybe it’s because I never watched “Desperado.” Or maybe it’s because Salma Hayek doesn’t turn me on like she turns on Edgar. On Saturday, I went to a family party in Scripps Ranch. I saw pregnant cousins, alcoholic uncles, loud aunties, and gangster cousins. Ha, ha. I saw this girl, Analyn, that my boyfriend used to jock in high school. I was thinking… What the hell is she doing here? Turns out she goes out with my COUSIN. It amazes me how small this world really is. Especially San Diego. Ed normally doesn’t make appearances at my family parties since he’s always working. That would’ve been weird if he was there. Ed went to E Street that night to see A Tribe Called Quest perform. My sister, Raechel, her boyfriend Antho, and I ended up going downtown, also. We were gonna go to PB Bar & Grill since Antho’s never been, but it was getting hella late so we didn’t feel like partying anymore. We just basically walked around downtown and laughed at all the weird ass dancers you could see through the windows at all the clubs. At one point, Raechel turned to me and said, “I guess the FREAKS come out at night over here.” There were definitely some freakishly weird people downtown. We hit up a two-story Starbucks that we had never been to and relaxed for a little bit. Antho commented on their woven lamp motif while Chel and my sister marveled about how great a place it would be to study at. Leave it to them to think about school on a Saturday night! Ha, ha. Ed and Jay were supposed to hang out with us after watching Tribe, but I guess they stayed afterwards and shook what their mamas gave them ’cause they didn’t leave till four in the morning! Shooooot. I wanted him to meet Antho, too. On Sunday, I ate at Panda Palace with Sheen, Ed and Jay (whatchu know about upside down pan fried noodle?). Ed promised me earlier that week that he’d take me out for Chinese food and he actually came through this time. Ha, ha. We rented “Malibu’s Most Wanted” and “All I Want” and watched it at Ed’s house. “Malibu” was HILARIOUS. “All I Want” was WEIRD, but at least Jay got to see Mandy Moore in her bra and panties (score!). Tomorrow it’s back to school. I’m overjoyed. Really.

What’s in a name?
Thursday, September 18, 2003

The Kabalarian Philosophers’ analysis of my name was eerily accurate! The personality traits they mentioned were so parallel to my own. Here’s what they had to say about me:

“The name of Marion gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature. Because your feelings run deep, you must guard against the ups and downs, being very inspired one minute, then moody, reserved, and depressed the next. Your reactions to people vary according to how you feel. You tend to be secretive and noncommittal about private matters, yet at times you will talk effusively in order to hide your self-consciousness or to lead others away from personal subjects. You are inspired by encouragement from others, yet suspicious of their intent. You crave affection but seldom find anyone who understands your nature.”

Get YOUR name analyzed at kabalarians.com.

Hot Mamas
Saturday, September 13, 2003

Sheenie and I got hit on tonight. Maybe it was because we’re hot mamas, or maybe it was because it was unusually cold out tonight and our headlights were on. Haha. Some old Mexican guy in the booth next to us at In-N-Out tried talking to Sheen. I didn’t even notice. What I DID notice were his wife and son who later joined him. GROSS. Ed was working late again tonight. Big f*ckin surprise. We had nothing better to do, so we drove around the coast. We went to Moo-Time in Coronado and had some chocolate ice cream. YUM. We drove down Silver Strand and ended up in I.B. where we walked down the pier. Sheenie commented on my mega voice again and said I was scaring all the fish away. I couldn’t stop laughing. I can’t help talking loudly when I get excited. There were a grip of kids there and tons of people fishing. These twenty-somethings on lawn chairs asked if we wanted to sit with them. We just looked at each other and kept walking haha. One of the guys was like, “Come on. We’ll keep you warm.” Sheenie’s hard of hearing sometimes and she thought he said, “Fine then, you f*ckin morons.” LOL. Afterwards, we went to Point Loma to try to find the Real World house. After driving up and down and up and down North Harbor Drive, we finally found it. It’s down this long culdesac on the harbor next to a strip of businesses. There was this big security guard in front of the house, so we didn’t drive all the way down the culdesac, but we were just excited to see the house in person. I still can’t believe the house is in Point Loma. It smells like fish and the airport is down the street so you hear nothing but airplanes flying over your house every five minutes. I’m assuming they picked the area because of the sailing. There’s tons of sailboats. That’s all there is to do out there in Point Loma. After we found the house and our nipples were hard enough to cut glass, we drove back to Ed’s house and Sheenie went home. I stayed at Ed’s for a little bit and then went home. Hopefully I’ll have a more exciting day tomorrow.

Boys Night Out… AKA.
Saturday, September 13, 2003

So my boyfriend has recently been having a shitload of “boys night outs.” The key word here being BOYS… which means girlfriends are not allowed… and as far as I know, my boyfriend is the only one out of his boys with a girlfriend. One would deduce that these “boys night outs” would be sausage central, right? Oddly enough, everytime my boyfriend goes on a “boys night out” he meets a different GIRL… not some random girl that was coincidentally there at the same time, but a girl that was INVITED to this “boys night out” shindig. WTF. I’m friends with some of those boys (*waves* to Beejaye, Jay and Mike). I, too, would like to go to D&B’s and play games and get drunk. I, too, am old enough to go with them to these 21+ scenes. If my boyfriend was having a “boys night out” and they were going to a club, he still wouldn’t invite me, because “it’s supposed to be a ‘boys night out, Mayan.” That’s his excuse for never inviting me… even though it’s a given that some of the guys will invite other girls. My boyfriend is all about meeting new people and making tons of friends and adding new friendsters. I guess he can’t do that with some girl tagging along claiming to be his girlfriend. You should WANT to spend time with your girlfriend. You should WANT to party with them. Isn’t that the point of having a significant other? Wanting to include them in your activities? I know that when I’m having fun without him, I’m thinking, “I wish he was here so he could have fun with me.” I guess I’m the only person with that mentality. He’s one of my top priorities and I feel like I’m not even in his top ten list of priorities. He feels like it’s okay to let me down (because I’m his girlfriend and I should “understand”), but it’s not okay to let down his friends. Everytime we go somewhere it always has to be with other people. We never spend time with just the two of us (being at his house sleeping on his bed while he uses the computer doesn’t count). We don’t do anything that you wouldn’t do with some random friend of yours. I feel like I’m more of a friend with occasional benefits than a girlfriend. Everytime we go somewhere he sees someone he knows. I usually won’t know them, but he doesn’t bother to introduce me. What the hell is going on here? LOL. I’m laughing on the outside, but really, it’s killing me. After over four years of being together, you shouldn’t stop trying to make your girlfriend happy just because you “have” her already. Whenever we see a couple hugging or kissing he’ll be like “that’s because they’re new.” Just because we’re an “old” couple doesn’t mean that you can’t be affectionate anymore. I don’t see his logic. I love him, but he’s really frustrating me right now.

The Real World: National City
Friday, September 12, 2003

Kudos to MTV for choosing San Diego as the locale for the next Real World! They started filming last month and the season begins airing in January 2004. Any San Diego native would think that the house would be located in one of SD’s hotspots, but NO. It’s in Point fuckin Loma (it’s the old Blue Crab restaurant located at 4922 North Harbor Drive near the airport). MTV could have picked La Jolla or Downtown or Pacific or Mission Beach. They might as well have picked National City. LOL. Sure, it’s waterfront property, but what exactly is there to DO in Point Loma? Go sailing, you say? Funny you should mention that. I heard that their job is to be crew members aboard Dennis Conner’s America’s Cup sail boat, Stars and Stripes. How typically Californian of them… MTV even built them their own private volleyball court and gave them surfboards. What is this? The OC? Haha. Some of the cast members have already gotten themselves into trouble down here! One girl got arrested for scratching and punching some Marine guy at Moondoggies in PB and another cast member got caught trying to use a fake I.D. by a bouncer at a different bar in PB. LAME!

State of Confusion
Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Here’s a fairly accurate description of my mood right now: They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job… and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren’t a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You do it though,and the next day regret it, stating over and over… “this is my last time.” You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself…and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something-year-old friends… maybe it will help someone feel like they aren’t alone in their state of confusion.

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