(via @callmeosound)

Since there are four kids between Christine and Jessie, I told them I’d do the fifth harmony when Isaac starts talking 😆

So much on my mind
I think I think too much
Read between these lines
But time comes to rest
When you are by my side
It blurs

Just got tickets to Kevin Garrett @ Gold-Diggers in Hollywood next month. He’s celebrating 10 years of his first EP, Mellow Drama. It was the album that made me a fan of his, and I try to catch him whenever he’s in LA. He was the last show I saw before the pandemic hit, and the first show I went to after the stroke. I’m a bit of a masochist 💔

(via @sweetannieod)

(via @akaiboyce32)

Are all goalies like this? 🥹

(via @espn)

Tom Wilson (my favorite hockey player and general light of my life) got into a brawl on the bench (he was suspended for six games last year for cross-checking another player in the face with his hockey stick, has previously been suspended five different times before that, and currently has the most penalty minutes in the league 😅). All the while, these two softies on opposing teams are holding hands in the back watching the fight unfold 😆

My favorite dessert while vacationing in the Philippines was taho – soft silken tofu with brown sugar syrup and sago (tapioca pearls) or boba. It’s a cheap, refreshing snack that’s available almost anywhere. In populous areas, there’s usually a man walking up and down the street yelling, “Tahoooo!” They have two metal covered buckets balancing on a wooden pole on their shoulders filled with taho accoutrements.

I was craving taho after we came back to the. U.S. so I made some for me and my family following this easy recipe. My parents said it tasted just like home, and my mom volunteered me to make it for an upcoming party at my Uncle’s house.

I bought some metal pails for the tofu and boba, a coffee carafe to keep the brown sugar syrup warm, and clear cups for people to build their own taho. I decorated the table with a festive Mexican blanket, a letterboard with instructions, and these hats made out of palm leaves that a hospitality worker from the resort we stayed at in El Nido made for us on our first trip to the Philippines 5 years ago.

You guys, I don’t half ass anything—I always use my whole ass 🍑😜

I woke up in a bad mood.

It’s been crazy at work this week, since they let go of six designers and expect the rest of us to pick up the slack. I haven’t even lunch’d with Nori once this week! I fell asleep right after work yesterday, and it was way too late to eat dinner by the time I finally woke up, so I just went back to bed.

I had to wake up butt ass early this morning to go to SD, so I double doordashed a breakfast burrito from Caps & Corks Liquor and a cold brew from Coffee Bean. The burrito arrived and was left on my front doormat while I was in the shower. The coffee arrived half an hour later. I was like, ‘I’ll just grab it on my way out and eat/drink it in the car.’ I opened my door to leave and only saw the coffee there. I checked my Doordash app and the dasher took a picture of it on my doormat so I know he delivered it to the right apartment.

This guy is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do NOT trust him. He is a fugly slut!

I emailed Michael Douglas (my building manager, not the actor LOL), to ask him to look at the security footage to see who took my burrito. There’s cameras all over my building and signs everywhere that you’re being recorded. It turns out it was the dasher who delivered my coffee who stole my burrito. Eat a bag of dicks, Germano!

I was already hangry from skipping dinner last night, then this asshole stole my breakfast burrito, then a stupid Rivian truck cut me off on the 405 on the 3-hour drive down to SD where it was pouring rain the whole time.

Why do I have such bad luck with burritos in LA? Both literally and figuratively 😆

(via @nick_tellez)

(via @ben.and.zara)

(via @childishmazbino)

Usually, my instagram algorithm is nothing but dogs and Moo Deng, but these videos popped up on my feed and I’m into it 🤘🏼

…or me watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs and googling how old these hot hockey players are. Born in 2004?! I have piercings that are older than you 👵🏻

‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time

I’ve been following this guy ever since I heard him sing a cover of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect’ on YouTube. I can’t stand Ed Sheeran, and Leroy Sanchez made this song more palatable and 1000x better 😆

So let’s just say goodbye for now
Who knows one day our time may come around

He finally dropped his first full-length album, and it did not disappoint! This is my favorite track 💔

Actual footage of me listening to this album on the drive back to LA last night 😅

My sister’s mother-in-law always treats my family out to lunch on major holidays at Barona (where she’s a Diamond member), so I made her an Easter-themed charcuterie board. I also made one for my mom, because I know that crazy b will be butt hurt if I give one to my sister’s MIL and not her 😆

Pammie has been having serious thyroid issues, so her doctor suggested she cut out gluten, soy and dairy before it becomes full blown Hashimoto’s disease.

She has been doing so well, and I wanted to make something special she could eat. One of my favorite dishes ever is the Spicy Fusilli Vodka at Jon & Vinny’s in LA. Carbs and alcohol? What’s not to love? Luckily, vodka is naturally gluten-free, so I just found some gluten-free pasta, dairy-free parm, and replaced the heavy cream with coconut milk. Normally, I don’t like coconut in savory food, but you couldn’t even tell I swapped the dairy out. The result was *chef’s kiss* 😙🤌

Usually, I hate meal prepping for myself, but I don’t mind doing it for my sister, or even for our old dog, Rocky. I used to cut up vegetables and cook chicken for him when we started feeding him fresh food during the last years of his life 😭 You make concessions for the ones you love…

(via @hungryinla)

I’ve been meaning to try this breakfast burrito spot since I first saw @hungryinla post about it. It’s nearby and down PCH in Hermosa Beach. They only have breakfast burritos Friday-Sunday, and you have to pre-order them on instagram starting on Wednesdays. Only in fucking LA do you have to pre-order your food on instagram. It seemed like a lot of trouble for a breakfast burrito, so I never thought to do it till earlier this week when I was having lunch across the street from it and remembered they were there.

(@ Baran’s 2239)

I ordered the no-meat breakfast burrito (I love me some bacon or chorizo in my burrito, but I’m still not eating pork 😩). I got home and cut this baby open and it was full of fucking bacon. I tried to pick around it, but it was stuck in there with all that gooey cheese. I’m just gonna give it to my sister’s husband when I head down to SD this weekend. Bah! I DM’d the resto on IG, and they were super apologetic. I’m gonna come back next Friday to take another stab at the no-meat breakfast burrito.

It came with red and green salsas, too. My go-to breakfast burrito spot up here was Phanny’s in Redondo. The burrito was good, but I asked for salsa, and they gave me a dang Tapatio packet. I would have given them five stars on Google for the burrito and the ocean view, but had to knock off one star for not having housemade salsa.

What’s a girl gotta do to get a good burrito in LA? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I make gift bags for my friends every holiday—it’s my love language (yes, BBQ is also my love language… your girl’s hella lingual). I always include stuff for their husbands because I get along swimmingly with all of them 😊 I always pack extra Nerds Gummy Clusters for Jessie’s husband because it’s his favorite candy. She knows that, so I think she ate them on purpose 😜

• Lost Farm Strawberry Pink Jesus Live Resin Fruit Chews – partly because He is risen, but mostly because Easter falls on 420 😜
• Sugarfina Easter Bunny Tails
• Sour Punch Easter Straws
• Nerds Gummy Clusters Easter Variety Mix
• Haribo Easter Spring Mix Egg Hunt
• Sour Patch Kids Easter Bunnies Theater Box
• Starburst Easter Original Fun Size
• See’s Candies Scotchmallow Eggs
• Reese’s Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs
• Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Easter Candy Gift Bag
• Twix Easter Minis
• Snickers Minis Milk Chocolate Easter Candy Bars
• Kit Kat Miniatures Milk Chocolate Wafer Easter Candy
• Hershey’s Cookies ‘N’ Crème Polka Dot Eggs Easter Candy

You guys, I’m not mad at this bunny filter. Hoppy Easter, y’all! 🐰

Nori and I always play Wordle, Connections and Strands on our lunch break. We stopped by Starbucks to split a brownie, and they had a bunch of board games, so we played a couple rounds of Connect Four, too.

The last time I remember playing Connect Four was at a dessert cafe in Los Feliz with Deane after a concert one night. I was so drunk, that I dropped the cookie I was eating into the grid instead of a token 😆 Apparently, I’m no better at this game when I’m sober, because I lost every single game to Nori today 😅

My AOL screen name used to be GUMMYI3EAR, and I used to watch the Adventures of the Gummi Bears cartoon every Saturday morning when I was a kid. All to say, my special relationship with gummy bears spans decades 🤪

When I visited the bestie earlier this month, her youngest daughter was telling me about the viral TikTok trend of gummy bears soaked in Sprite and frozen. She said she tried it and it turned out sooo good, and she also tried it with ginger ale and it tasted better than the ones soaked in Sprite.

(via @thefeedfeed)

This reel popped up on my feed yesterday, and knew I had to try it myself. I had leftover gummy bears from the gift bags I made for Easter, and since I don’t drink soda, I picked up a prebiotic Olipop Ginger Ale to soak them in 😆

Were they worth the hype? Ehh, I’m a purist. I’d rather eat plain gummy bears. I also don’t think I like Olipop in any flavor. It contains stevia instead of real sugar, and I’d rather have no sugar than fake sweetener. I’m the kind of girl who can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi (if the resto only had Pepsi, I’d just get water!). I was so bummed when Costco switched from Coke to Pepsi in all their food courts back in the day, and this year they switched back to Coke, but I don’t drink soda anymore 😭

(via @drfeliciaphd)

I had a routine mammogram last week. They found breast cancer in two of my dear friends during routine mammograms in the past few years, so I already have anxiety going in. I got a message that they have to redo my mammogram because they didn’t get a good image of my left breast. The tech who did my mammo was too distracted figuring out what kind of Asian I was to do her job, and now I have to go back.

To be fair, I never know what kind of Asian people are (Japanese, Korean, Chinese… I can’t tell the difference 😅), but I would never ask someone what kind of Asian they are. I was at Sugarfina last week, and this black dude visiting the cashier asked what kind of Asian I was, and I was like, ‘Filipino’ and he was like, ‘I love Pacquiao!’ 🙄 I haven’t liked Pacquaio since he made some homophobic comments. Please don’t associate him with all Filipinos.

At least my bewbs are very squishy and malleable like stress balls LOL, so mammogram machines flattening the shit out of my tits isn’t painful for me. Plus, the women’s imaging center is next to Torikizoku, so I’ll reward myself with some yakitori afterward 😆

We always have little earthquakes in LA, but they never feel them in San Diego and vice versa. This morning, as I was in a group text with the girls chatting about one of their employees at UCSD asking to come in late today because they were still recovering from Coachella (like just say you aren’t feeling well and be on your way!), an earthquake hit SD, and it was so strong, I felt it in LA!

I hope everyone’s okay. Also, if this is an indication that the big one is coming, I should probably start wearing pants to bed.

*types in chonies*

Prosecco & Pals Booze & Bitches (@ Gravity Heights)

Full Pink Moon tonight ✨

It’s no secret that I love Moo Deng the pygmy hippo, but IDK if I’ll ever make it to Thailand to see her in person.

Also, I always have my Pic Stitch app cued up whenever the opportunity arises to do a side-by-side comparison 😆

Another pygmy hippo, Poppy, was born last December at Metro Richmond Zoo in Virginia. Domestic flights to Richmond from LAX are pretty cheap, plus I have hella Southwest points. Anyone want to go with me on a weekend trip to Richmond? 😆 If pygmy hippos aren’t your thing, CNN Travel also named Richmond #1 on their list of America’s Best Towns to Visit in 2024!

Do I like hockey now? Or just Tom Wilson from the Capitals?

Or just whatever the hell is happening in this video? 😏

According to Google, ‘Average professional hockey players retire between the ages of 25–30, but most players hang up the skates long before this’. Am I too old to be a puck bunny? (Don’t answer that).

I get my nails done off of PCH, so it’s always a nice drive to and from the salon. They had Kitchen Nightmares on as I was getting my nails done, and I was tearing up because Gordon Ramsay was yelling at this dad/owner of a Greek resto that needed help. I couldn’t even wipe the tear rolling down my cheek, because Cindy was doing my nails LOL. I watch a lot of food shows, but they’re all on The Food Network. I’m much too sensitive for these off-network shows! The family on TV was sad, too, that the dad was getting yelled at, and the girl getting her nails done next to me yelled, ‘If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!’ I was thinking, ‘Is she yelling at me or the TV?’ 😅

Anyway, here is part of my drive home set to the saddest song ever 😭

If you thought I was gonna doordash food from The Empanada Shop on National Empanada Day, you weren’t wrong.

I also got an apple pie churro empanada for dessert. Or shall I say mmm-panada 😋 (I’ll see myself out).

FYI, I hate raisins in empanadas, and I tell anyone who will listen. I don’t mind them in sweet stuff, but I don’t like raisins in savory food. I also don’t like coconut in savory food (coconut shrimp, thai food, etc.), but don’t mind it in dessert. I also don’t like pineapple in savory food. Ordering a Hawaiian pizza is blasphemous and a dealbreaker. You should be writing this down 📝

Today is the bestie’s birthday 🥳 I spent the weekend with her and gave her some goodies.

(via @wearebewell)

She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and has been getting weekly chemo treatments. She was just telling me how she has to keep her arm out of her jacket for the IV, and how cold it gets in the treatment room, so this gift was perfect!

I gave her some souvenirs from my Japan trip, most notably this amulet I picked up from the Meiji Shrine that’s supposed to be for recovery from illness. I got myself the amulet for finding a good partner 😅

I also sent her this stuffie, partly bc I love getting surprises in the mail, but mostly because I know she hates capybaras but this stuffie is so cute! It’s out for delivery, so IDK what her reaction is yet 😆

When Alicia’s husband complimented me on the shirt I was wearing, I was like, ‘My eyes are up here, Ray.’ 😜

I was subscribing to Factor meals for a while, but there are some nights I’d rather doordash a chalupa from Taco Bell than eat a nutritious pre-made meal. After two weeks of giving the meals to Christine (because I didn’t want to waste a week of dinners, plus I knew that they’d make that busy mama’s life easier), I canceled my subscription and she gave me a bunch of girl scout cookies in return 😜

She asked me what flavors I liked, and I was like, ‘I’ll have one… One of everything!’ 😅 Her kid’s connect didn’t have the new french toast cookies (toast-yays), so she reached out to an old friend (who also happens to be my ex’s ex-girlfriend) because her kid is a girl scout and was selling that flavor. If that’s not a ride-or-die, I don’t know what is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My blood-glucose levels spiked after eating a sleeve of Thin Mints, so I need to slow the fuck down on inhhaling these 😅 *checks expiration dates*

(via @kelseydianeblog)

The girls ask me who I’m fucking on the regular (my married friends like to live vicariously through me and think my single life in LA is way more exciting than it actually is).

You guys, the only thing keeping my bed warm at night is this Beetlejuice squishmallow Christine’s kids gave me for Christmas and this Moo Deng plushie my mom’s baby sister gave me as a thank you for treating them out in Japan.

Sidenote: The first thing I did when I found out about the tragic 7.7 earthquake in Thailand was make sure Moo Deng was ok 😅 (she’s at the Khao Kheow Open Zoo in Si Racha, Chonburi, Thailand).

…or how I ask for favors at work.

On an unrelated note, I just completed the company-mandated sexual harassment training in Workday this week, and can confirm that I’m wildly inappropriate 😅

It smells like Doyer dogs and betrayal up in here (@ Dodger Stadium)

I don’t always root for the Dodgers, but when I do, it’s while wearing crude apparel on Shohei Ohtani bobblehead giveaway night ✌🏼⚾

Update: I was born and bred in San Diego, and it’s sacrilege to support the Dodgers there 😅 I never wear my Dodgers hat when I’m in SD or my Padres hat when I’m in LA (except for that one time I went to a playoff game at Dodger Stadium and the Padres got murdered). But my rack really does look fantastic here LOL, so I had to post it, if only for the one person who still reads this thing (Hi, Shirley May 👋🏼).