I used to leave lengthy voicemails telling people about my day, but that was 20 years ago when I was young and stupid and forced people to hear about my life. I mean, I still have this blog after 20 years, but looking at it is a choice 😆 Also, if you leave me a voicemail now, I probably won’t check it.
There’s a Trader Joe’s kitty corner from my apartment, and I was craving something sweet after dinner, so I put my bra on and went over there 15 minutes before closing specifically for Japanese Taiyaki. I didn’t see it in the dessert freezer section I got it from last time, so I picked up some random sweets and went back to the freezer section to check if they restocked it in the minute I was gone LOL. There was this bearded white guy there telling his girl about the taiyaki – ‘I heard they have these Japanese waffles filled with custard that are supposed to be good.’ I was like, ‘OMG, they’re soooo good. I came here for them, but it looks like they’re out of stock.’ He was like, ‘I’ll have to try them then! I asked someone, and they said it’ll be back in stock June 1st.’ Meanwhile, his girl is looking at me like, ‘Dafuq are you???’ 😅 She was not amused by me talking to her man about creamy Japanese fish 😆
I was off, because they gave the Advertising department the extra day off for Memorial Day, so they had to give it to the web team because we’re part of their department again. So I slept in a little and planned to leave for SD before noon. Noon turned into 1pm, then 1pm turned into 2pm. By the time I got my shoes on, I checked Google Maps, and it said it would take 4 fucking hours to get to SD. I was like, nah, I’ll just wait till later tonight to leave. I was going to take a nap (I’ve been really tired this past week and have had very little appetite, so gonna go to the doctor’s next week if it continues) when I got this alert on my phone from my mom:
I’ve never gotten one of these alerts before, so I called her, and she was fine at her sister’s house. Her phone was sending random SOS alerts all day (I got it four more times), and it never even sent me an alert when she fell and broke her wrist months ago.
I had a nightmare during my nap, woke up again around 7pm, and as I was leaving my building, I had to creep my car forward over the sidewalk so I could see the cross-street traffic and tell when there’s an opening for me to make a right turn. I live on a main street, and there are always cars zooming by. There was this guy jogging with his dog and another dude walking by himself about a block away. I was still waiting for an opening when they got to my car, and the guy jogging with his dog passed behind my car because I had left plenty of room, and the asshole walking by himself banged on the back of my car with his fists. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I almost lost it and drove after him. I had to fill up before heading down, so I bought some strawberry belts at the gas station to make me feel better LOL. I could see the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 405 as I filled up, and I was like, ‘WTF, Google Maps said no traffic.’ I got on the freeway, and could immediately see police lights. They funneled three lanes into one, and I drove by four mangled cars, one with all the airbags deployed in it. It really put things in perspective. No matter how shitty I thought my day was, these people were having a worse day than I was.
I just put on my julian playlist and ate my strawberry belts.
I saw that Julian Casablancas’ side band, The Voidz, have a show coming up, but I just like The Strokes and Julian’s solo tracks, nothing by The Voidz. Plus, the show is in fucking Riverside. I’ve seen The Strokes a few times, and each time they sucked. IDK if Julian just hates LA or what, but every time I’ve seen him, he has either left early or just so obviously didn’t want to be there. And I feel sorry for the band because he’s the only one being an asshole. It’s like whiskey dick, drugs and alcohol are all fun and games till you actually have to perform 😅 So I just listen to his music on Spotify now where he can’t disappoint me 😆
Nori and I play Wordle, Strands and Connections on the daily. In yesterday’s Connections, I was like, ‘All these characters are green: Shrek, Grinch, Hulk… El-PHAY-ba. El-FA-ba. How the fuck do you say her name?’ Nori was like, ‘It’s EL-pha-ba.’ I’ve never seen Wicked so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I remember being at the movies with a guy, and the credits were rolling at the end, and he was like, ‘Who the fuck was Zo?’ I was like, ‘Zo? It’s pronounced ‘Zo-ee.’ The main character?’ He had never seen ‘Zoe’ spelled before so didn’t know how to pronounce it. I remember thinking, ‘You stupid bitch 🤣’ and now look who’s a stupid bitch now 😅
I spent the weekend at the bestie’s. She’s been having a rough time dealing with chemo, so I brought her a few gifts – another @wearebewell IV zip hoodie for her weekly treatments and some comfortable head wraps, because she lost her hair from the chemo and doesn’t want her husband and kids to see her like this 🥺 And the best gift of all, my presence, of course 😜
I wore my Capitals shirt, and her husband was like, ‘You like hockey now?’ Mostly just the Capitals’ right winger, Tom Wilson. Also, my eyes are up here 👀 He complimented me on my Let’s Watch Horror Movies shirt when I visited last month, and I said the same thing 😜
The first time I went to Rise was a magical experience. So much has happened since then… The pandemic, all my grandparents passed away, three of my dear friends got breast cancer, our dog died, I had a stroke, I like hockey now LOL.
The musical artist who performed when I went was Vancouver Sleep Clinic, a band I knew and reminded me of Bon Iver, but were relatively unknown. People def weren’t there for the musical artist. They really stepped it up for their 10-year anniversary! John Mayer (my guiltiest pleasure) and Patrick Watson (singer of my favorite sad French song). Vegas in October, anyone?
I want you in the worst way
Is the gate code still your birthday?
Et quand tu es seule pendant un instant
Ramasse-moi quand tu voudras
Embrasse-moi quand tu voudras
After such an unforgettable experience at Rise, we returned the next year, and it was TERRIBLE. It was raining that weekend, and we kept checking to see if the event was canceled, but they kept saying it was still happening, just to arrive earlier, because they were gonna do the initial rise of the lanterns earlier because of the weather. So we arrived early, trudged through mud because it was raining in the desert, hours passed with no update, and while I was waiting in line for a hot dog LOL, an announcement came over the speakers that the event was canceled, and we had to leave immediately and could not take the lanterns with us. Everyone was PISSED. Nobody who goes to this event actually lives in Vegas, so everyone had travelled just for this festival.
I wouldn’t mind so much if the event got rained out again this year, as long as John Mayer and Patrick Watson still performed. The rain would mask my tears (though nothing can hide my ugly crying face 😅).
Our tickets had access to the Stadium Club. Listen, it doesn’t matter what team is playing. Your girl loves club seats, exclusive club access, and air conditioning.
It was a blowout. 19-2 Dodgers, and Ohtani scored 2 homeruns. It’s sacrilege being from SD and rooting for the Dodgers, but NGL, it feels nice to root for a winning team (the Padres have lost the last 3 games I attended – 2/3 of those games against the Dodgers 😅).
I’m so sick of lemonade
All the squeeze ain’t worth the juice
Pour some sugar over mе
Still not sweet enough for you
Got a lotta shit to say
Even more you nеver do
Tell me, what’s it gonna take
To make a good thing out of you?
I shared Maren Morris with my cousin’s daughter after she told me she surprisingly likes country music now after watching Ransom Canyon on Netflix LOL. I don’t really like country music (or the conservative values associated with it), but I love Maren and have seen her live at The Greek. To me, she leans more towards pop (she has a song with Zedd, after all), and I thought Jay would appreciate Maren’s songs about female empowerment ✊🏼 She’s a single mom with twin baby girls and such a baddie 😎
Girl, won’t you stop your cryin’?
I know that you’re tryin’
Everything’s gonna be okay
Baby girl, don’t you hang your head low
Don’t you lose your halo
Everyone’s gonna be okay
This is where it’s gonna end
Not gonna try to be your friend
All I want is you to get
Out of my heart, out of my head
This is how a woman leaves
Even though it’s killing me
I’ll make it look so easy
That even I believe me
She DM’d me Maren’s new album, and I am obsessed. Maren has a show at my favorite venue in SD, and I might have to go.
One of my favorite things to eat when it’s hot as balls outside is this chicken salad. It’s cold and refreshing and naturally gluten and dairy-free, so Pammie can eat it, too. I used to eat it when I’d do Whole30, so I always made it with Primal Kitchen Mayo (it’s free of gluten, grains, soy, canola oil, processed seed oils, refined sugar, and dairy). It’s good by itself, but I like to eat it on a big ass Costco croissant. Or crackers. Pretty much any vehicle to get it in my mouth 😜
Make it and thank me later (and invite me over for lunch).
Chicken Salad with Grapes and Walnuts Adapted from Bowl of Delicious
Ingredients:
Rotisserie Chicken Breast Meat – Costco sells their rotisserie chicken meat fully cooked and hand-pulled. You could def boil and shred your own chicken breasts, but why??? I’m not trying to use my stove on a hot ass day.
Primal Kitchen Mayo – it’s pricier than regular mayo, but you can sub regular mayo if you don’t want to spend $12 on a jar of mayo have any dietary restrictions.
Seedless Red Grapes sliced in halves
Diced Red Onion
Diced Celery
Walnuts
Salt & Pepper to taste
Directions:
I made a huge batch, so I used an entire package of Rotisserie Chicken Breast Meat (46 oz.), a whole jar of Primal Kitchen Mayo (12 oz.), a bunch of seedless red grapes sliced in half (2 lbs.), half a diced red onion (you can usually find the onions already diced in the refrigerated produce section of the grocery store) a bunch of diced celery (you can also find them already diced), chopped walnuts (16 oz.) and salt & pepper to taste. Combine everything in a large bowl and refrigerate. Enjoy!
I told my sister’s husband that if the Washington Capitals win the Eastern Conference and the Vegas Golden Knights win the Western Conference, then I’ll go to Vegas for a Stanley Cup finals game. He was like, ‘IDK why you’re single. You like hockey. You like baseball.’
Additionally, my stupid tits look excellent in team gear. I’m 3 for 3! 😜
I was today years old when I found out that there’s such a thing as kangaroo leather, and also that Adidas’ iconic shoe is called the ‘Samba‘ 👵🏻 To be fair, I don’t really know the names of any shoes, even though I’ve worked for a footwear company for over a decade 😅
We did a Star Wars collabo once, and my coworker had to tell me what a Death Star was, an X-Wing, a Stormtrooper… I’ve never seen Star Wars, so I couldn’t make the kids’ presentation without that nerd 😅
Everyone’s been hitting me up today, because my employer for the past 13 years publicly announced to the world (and to their employees) that they were sold to a private investment firm this morning.
Well, everyone except for my dad, who sent me this video of a squirrel eating nuts in my parents’ backyard 😆 Yes, we’re the kind of people who feed wild animals (I also gave my dad a Birdbuddy last Christmas).
They haven’t announced any big changes yet, but I’m ready with my online portfolio in case shit pops off ✌🏼
I actually did it for my sister, who’s on a gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free diet 😆 These cookies were… eh. The texture was off, and they weren’t very sweet. I guess they could work in a pinch if you’re craving something sweet, but I’d rather eat something sweet that’s naturally gluten and dairy-free, like a piece of fruit 😆
Pammie said she liked them, but she’s been eating clean for the past 2 months. I’ve been eating dirty for 43 years, though, so I could tell 😅
We gave some to my parents without saying they were gluten and dairy-free, and this was the response:
Did you make these?
– my dad 🤢
If I’m at a resto and a dessert says it’s ‘gluten-free’ or ‘dairy-free’ I automatically pass on it. The worst dessert I ever had was this vegan churro abomination from Tocaya (a resto that has since closed down in El Segundo, but still has other locations throughout LA). We didn’t know it was vegan when we ordered it, but we sure found out after that first bite.
The girls and I try to get together at least once a month to stay updated on each other’s lives. One of them has an upcoming colonoscopy (lovely dinnertime conversation), and she joked that she used to ask for a ride to a boy’s house, then a ride to the club, now a ride to her colonoscopy 👵🏻 She said her doctor suggested rubbing petroleum jelly on her booty hole to prevent it from getting raw and irritated during prep 😳 When we toasted our drinks, Jessie was like, ‘Cheers to anal!’ and I nearly spit out my sake. Some dribbled down my chin, but I swallowed most of it like a good girl 😜
Jessie’s mom got harassed in Eastlake of all places (a predominantly Filipino/Mexican community) by a Mexican! And Baby Isaac is half Mexican! I never walk around my neighborhood in LA without my box cutter, pepper spray, and stun gun. Come at me, bro!
They just finished building this nice house that I pass by every day in Manhattan Beach. I looked it up on Redfin, and it’s selling for $6.3 million 😅 I’ve never felt unsafe in this bougie ass neighborhood, but you never know when you’ll need to cut a bitch!
…or what happens when I go to Trader Joe’s hungry 🤪
I went there for oatmeal (not pictured).
Update: Just had some of the papas rellenas for breakfast, and they taste just like the potato balls from Porto’s! 😲 I will def be buying more of these!
No more standing in this ridiculous line in the rain (@ Porto’s)
