I don’t remember directions or street names, just landmarks. When I used to go into the office, it was less than a 10-minute drive to work through residential streets. I knew to turn left at the house with the white picket fence. One day, they took down the fence, and I drove right past it! I did it a couple more times that week before they put another fence back up. I still don’t know the name of that street π
My new building is super secure, and you need a code to get into the property, a code to use the elevator, and another code to get into my apartment. The codes were assigned to me, and I still haven’t memorized them even though I’ve lived here a month now π I always have to double-check the codes on my phone. I can assign people temporary codes when they visit, and delivery people like doordash and instacart temporary codes that only last a couple hours.
The girls were visiting for the first time the other day for friendsgiving. Jessie called me from outside, and the uber dropped her off at 13th and Market. There are a few entrances (all needing an access code), and I was trying to direct her to the entrance closest to my apartment. She was like, ‘I’m on 13th and Market. Where do I go?’ I was like, ‘Walk towards G, then towards 14th. I’m not sure if it’s left or right.’ She was like, ’14th is east of 13th.’ I was like, ‘Yeah, walk in the opposite direction of the ocean. The entrance is on 14th across from the Albertson’s and you’ll need the code to get in.’ She was like, ‘What’s the code?’ I was like, ‘Uhhh it’s in the group chat. Let me check.’ After longer than necessary, she finally made it to my apartment π
Christine had a hard time getting into my building, too. At least that answered the question they ask me every time they see me – ‘Who you fuckin’???’ Apparently no one, since I can’t give good directions to get them into my building! Jessie was like, ‘I used to live at 1501 Front Street in Little Italy, and the code to get in was 1501! It needs to be that easy if you wanna get some dick up in here!’ π
I considered changing the gate code to my birthday so I wouldn’t forget it, but then anyone could easily guess it.
I want you in the worst way
Is the gate code still your birthday?
Christine gave me the idea to create a festive holiday hallway. The girls were supposed to help me when they came over for friendsgiving, but we were much too inebriated to get on a step stool and string some lights π So Pammie came over and helped me last night, and I’m so pleased with how it turned out!
Put up the Command Clips on the ceiling. Make sure the open hook part is facing the edge of the hallway. We used Nano tape instead of the command strips that came with the hooks, bc they had a stronger bond and are still removable without destroying your ceiling. With just the command strips, the clips kept popping off once we added the ornaments. We spaced them about 1 foot apart.
String the fairy lights in a zigzag pattern. We used more Nano tape to stick the battery packs to the ceiling. They’re clear and you can barely notice them with the light flickering, so you don’t have to worry about it ruining the aesthetic.
Add hooks to the ornaments and hang them on the string lights.
I don’t have room for a Christmas tree in my studio, but I like how this looks even better!
My mom always asks me to make a digital invitation she can text everyone whenever she hosts a party at her house. I’m like, ‘Have you ever heard of this free service called Evite?’ π€ͺ
Still here for the sides!
I wore this shirt last year and thought I had lost it in the move, but I found it neatly folded away in my closet along with the shirts I only wear on certain holidays – my ‘Let Joey Eat’ shirt that I wear on the 4th of July or when Joey Chestnut is doing another hot dog eating contest, my glow-in-the-dark ‘Shake, Shake, Shake, Senora’ shirt that I wear when I’m watching Beetlejuice, my Huntrix shirt that I only wear to KPop Demon Hunters sing-alongs LOL. Not any of my horror shirts, though – I wear those year-round π€
Tell me you’re from the hood without telling me you’re from the hood – We ordered the turkey from Popeye’s and had street tacos βπΌ
I’m not a huge fan of turkey – I once was on a bone broth cleanse and accidentally bought a week’s worth of turkey bone broth when I meant to get chicken. This was yearsss ago, and the smell of turkey still elicits my gag reflex.
Luckily, Pammie brought an ice cream turkey cake from Baskin Robbins! It was a hit with the kids and people like me who don’t like turkey.
I love that I have the space to host now. And a dining table that people can eat at! And I can work at. I used to do everything on my bed – work, eat dinner, engage in some light internet stalking π€ͺ
I finally have a kitchen I can cook in, too! With a full-sized oven. And a fridge that isn’t shorter than I am. And a freezer that makes ice. And a dishwasher. And a double-bowl sink… An embarrassment of riches, y’all π
I ordered a pumpkin pie from Milk Bar, and since we have hella dietary restrictions in this crew (I’m looking at you, Pamela) I made gluten/dairy-free mashed potatoes (with Christine’s favorite Garlic Delight Dip from the fair added) and soy-free short ribs from H Mart (I instacarted them, and my shopper was some poor white girl who didn’t know how to navigate an Asian market), and naturally gluten-free rice in case this party wasn’t Asian enough. I got Marionberry Parfait Sours from Harland Brewing Co. (partly bc I like to support local breweries, partly bc it has my name in it, but mostly bc your girl loves a fruity sour), made a festive charcuterie board, homemade sourdough bread, and Thanksgiving gift bags.
For those asking, I got my buttery leather sectional couch from Poly & Bark, and this unique Banquette dining bench from Denver Modern. I paired it with a restaurant table from West Elm, and mid-century modern chairs from Amazon! I have never owned a home, but Iβve always made the rental apartments Iβve lived in feel like home π Whenever people ask me what my interior design style is (absolutely no one has ever asked me that), I say itβs boho mid-century modern moo deng ππ¦
When I had my stroke two years ago, I wasn’t sure if I’d still be here, and for that I am thankful ππ§‘π€
Grateful for everyone who stuck around while I recovered, too π₯Ή Everyone else can eat a bag of dicks!
When I went to Relic Bakery with Jess and baby boy, they gave us whipped butter that was perfectly spreadable for our sourdough.
Since I started making sourdough again at home, I knew it would pair well with some room temp butter, so I got a butter bell that stays on your countertop 24/7. You just have to seal it with water in the basin that you have to change every 3 days to prevent the butter from spoiling.
Yes, I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me to change the water. Like my mom always tells me, I don’t have to be married to get pregnant and give her grandbabies I’d forget my vagina if it wasn’t attached to my body π
I’ve had an upset stomach since Sunday, so I haven’t eaten much since then. I only ate the spaghetti I made the night before, but my sister’s husband ate the same thing and he didn’t get sick! The only difference is my sister added some creatine to my iced coffee that morning, but I’ve had it before with no issues.
I instacarted some Gatorade yesterday to get some electrolytes in me, but the lady got me orange instead of the fruit punch I requested, so I didn’t drink it π€’
So today, I’m easing solids back into my diet with some steel-cut oatmeal π΅π»
Who needs a Christmas tree when you can just throw some lights on a fiddle leaf fig bush?
If you’re driving down G Street in downtown SD, I’m the apartment between 13th and 14th with the hanging santa π π»π
I was 8-years-old when Home Alone was first released 35 years ago today – the same age as Kevin McCalister (do the horrifying math)!
Sidenote: My parents have a steep ass staircase in their house just like the McCallisters, except they have a wall in front of the bottom of the stairs. My sister and I took turns sliding down the stairs on a sleeping bag one day when my parents weren’t home, and Pammie’s big ass foot went right through the wall! Even as a kid, my sister had big ass feet I was handy as fuck, so I patched up the hole in the drywall with some materials I found in the garage. My parents still live in that house, and they never found out about it π
I love this quote from Home Alone, but I thought it might be a little racist, and as it turns out, I’m the one who’s a little racist π
Who tf besides the host and Jerry knew that ‘yellow’ meant ‘cowardly’?!
Giving food is my love language. So is BBQ. And gift bags. And homemade sourdough. As I’ve said before, your girl’s hella lingual ππ»ββοΈ
I made my sister (naturally gluten and dairy-free) chicken sotanghon soup and zuppa toscana (made dairy-free with coconut milk)! And made my parents spaghetti with meat sauce (I brought them some last week and they ate all of it!). They’ve all made (hurtful) comments about my food being too salty in the past, so I eased up on the sodium π What can I say, I like salty meat Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
Or do I have early onset Alzheimers? π
Just kidding (not that many people have eaten here) π
Update: My mom was out with her homegirls when I stopped by last weekend, so I left the food in her fridge. She told me this weekend that she ate all the chicken sotanghon, but it needed more salt! I meannn. This is why I like baking over cooking. It has exact measurements. None of that ‘add salt and pepper to taste’ shit bc I usually oversalt things bc I like it salty! Except this time I undersalted it bc they said my food was too salty last time. Bah!
You guys, I like hockey now. Okay, just the Capitals. Okay, really just Tom Wilson. Anyone wanna go to Vegas next March to see them play the Golden Knights? π
I didnβt read the instructions when I first fed my new sourdough starter last night, so I didnβt realize it needed to be fed again 12 hours after I first fed it. I had to set an alarm bc I knew I wouldnβt be awake at this unholy hour to feed it. Is this how newborn mothers feel? π€ͺ
Since they’re shutting off the water in my apartment building today for maintenance, Pammie insisted that I stay over at her place in case I need to use the bathroom π
At my old apartment in LA, I wouldn’t find out till after taking a cold ass shower that our centralized water heater was shut off! At least this new building gave us a heads up days in advance.
So I’m at Pammie’s today, as evident by Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking on TV, cereal in a Harry Potter bowl, creatine in my cold brew, and flaxseed milk in my cereal. Apparently, I’m not hitting my macros Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
Yesterday was SeΓ±ora Cuevasβ birthday, and all she wanted to do was eat good food and play mahjong π
My mom and her seesters π₯°
My parents, ladies and gentlemen π€ͺ
My dad surprised her with a Freddie Freeman Dodgers jersey. To be fair, sheβs loved Freeman since he was on the Atlanta Braves. And even though I fucking hate the Dodgers, it was worth it to see my mom so happy.
She plays mahjong with her sisters every Friday, so yesterday was no different. Except Pammie played and took all their money π€π
My aunt and I released the girls from boob jail and hung our bras on the dining room chandelier. Can you guess which oneβs mine? π
I tried to sneak a pic of baby boy mackin’ on some sourdough, and he saw me taking his photo and gave me the cheesiest cheese that ever did cheese π₯°
I guess I could’ve walked there, but I drove π
So far loving this neighborhood, except my wifi (Google Fiber) has cut out twice in 2 weeks, and I work from home, so it’s inconvenient and a pain in the ass to keep chatting with customer service. Also, my neighbor above me is moving furniture or doing Zumba or running drills all day! I’ve always lived on the top floor, so I never had to deal with neighbor noise above me, but now I live on the 4th floor of a 6-floor building. IDK whether to be passive aggressive about it and bang my broom on the ceiling, be a b about it and complain to the property managers, or send my sister’s husband up to the 5th floor to see what the fuck!
Everyone’s losing their damn minds over the Starbucks bearista cup, while I’m over here like π
Also, these fresh flowers are nearly 2 weeks old and still thriving! Is it the moon water? π
To be fair, it’s v cute, but you won’t catch me at Starbucks (or anywhere for that matter) at that unholy hour, or spending hundreds of dollars on a cup on ebay! I’ll just keep drinking my cold brew out of my $5 skull mason jar, thank yew…
I literally had lunch almost every weekday outside in the South Bay for the past 13 years while living in LA and never once saw a show being filmed. Although I did see Weezer and Fred Armisen filming an episode of Carpool Karaoke when I was in Fairfax on a random Tuesday I called off work π
Last night was a fever dream ππ₯π€ (@ Petco Park)
My new apartment is only a 10-minute walk away from Petco Park, so we walked there and back faster than anyone could get an uber. I can’t wait for baseball season to start up again ππ€
This beautiful ofrenda was right by our seats.
They allowed everyone to contribute, so I added pictures of my grandmas and Rocky π₯Ή
We were surrounded by the most obnoxious people ever – Dodgers fans!
Deftones – Sextape
Take me one more time
Take me one more wave
Take me for one last ride
I’m out of my head
Deftones – infinite source
Just say you’re down
And pull me close, hold on to me
Face the crowd
Take hold of me, hold me tight
Deftones – i think about you all the time
All of my life
Youβve been the same
All of our days
And weβll never change
I don’t really know anyone else who likes the Deftones, so I fully intended to go by myself. Pammie decided to accompany me, and even bought our tickets! I’m so glad she went with me, bc this event was really overstimulating (but in the best way). Get you a sister as supportive as mine π€πΌ
